old man hitting on me

Eighteen {KJM} (M)

Part 1 | Part 2
The Letter

Description: You’re an eighteen year old bartender and Junmyeon comes in with Baekhyun one day. He hits on you, then feels bad because you’re eighteen, then realizes he just doesn’t care. He likes you.

Genre: Fluff / Smut / Angst

Word Count: 10,384

Warning: Smut

Pairing: Kim Junmyeon (Suho) x Reader (feat. Baekhyun)

Author: Admin Xiufairy ㅅㅇㅅ

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

At eighteen, you were perfectly content working at a bar. You just served everybody who came up to you, it was that easy. It was fun for you, but if you had a penny for every time a much older man hit on you, you’d be rich enough to leave the country.

They all backed down when you told them that you were only eighteen thankfully, but you’d begun to wonder exactly why that changed people’s minds. It wasn’t as busy as usual that night, at least at the bar. The floor was always crazy and loaded with people.

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So like I said I really enjoyed the newest SpiderMan movie. He was the only reason I forced myself to sit through Civil War and it was worth it. 

He’s so good and nice please give this boy a blanket. 

Mockery (Negan x Lana)

Summary: Lana is the queen of sass. Negan may have just met his match. 

Characters: Negan x Alana

Word Count: 3,560

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, Fluff and Swearing

Author’s Note: This fic was requested by @i-dont-have-a-harp who sent:

Would you be able to do a fic with a girl called Alana (Lana as a nickname) where she’s super sassy and is taken during the lineup from Alexandria? Negan takes a liking to her but she refuses to fall for him, until he begins showing a softer side when it’s just the two of them, but Lana is too stubborn to admit it until something puts her and Negan in danger? 

I had too much fun writing this. Love me a sassy character. This one is jam-packed with sass, fluff and smut. I hope it’s to your liking. 

Thank you thank you thank you to @ashzombie13 for being my beta reader!

Please let me know what you think! You can message me anytime! I LOVE feedback! (Seriously! Send me asks and you’ll make my whole week)

Originally posted by smuttwd

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lilmissemrys  asked:

So, I was working today, and a man old enough to be my father started hitting on me. To keep him from doing that I told him I have a girlfriend (system between my best friend and I) and he looks at me and says "All a lesbian needs is a good dicking to set her right" and gave me the creepiest smile 😩 how would you handle that?

(( OOC: Honestly, it’s rare that the “I have a girlfriend/boyfriend” trick works. *sighs* It’s unfortunate that there’s not much you can do in a situation like that. Confronting someone who clearly does not know social boundaries or simply doesn’t care about how they treat others could lead to violence or harassment, so in that situation I’d suggest either excusing yourself and walking away (somewhere where they cannot follow you), finding a superior or someone else to assist you, or calling security. )) 

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this is so satisfying i feel like shes called out every 40 yr old man who hit on me when i was eighteen

Seventeen as things my mom and I say to each other on a daily
  • Mingyu: Turd nugget
  • Wonwoo: You dumb
  • Seungcheol: THE FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCK?
  • Dino: You can't hit me, I'm a child. thaT IS ABUSE AND I WILL SMACK A BITCH
  • Hoshi: If you dont stop hitting me I'm taking your Asians away.
  • Josh: Why dont you ever knock on the door? I could be naked in here jamming to Bang Bang Bang and you'd walk in and get an eye load of naked.
  • Jun: I've seen your naked a lot of times in my life.
  • Jeonghan: if that bitch doesn't stop singing and shouting at my son..
  • Seungkwan: OH MY GOD CHAN IS DRESSED LIKE MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S GREAT GREAT GRANDMA'S AUNT'S OLDER SISTER'S GREAT GRANDMOTHER'S MOTHER HOW DOES HE STILL LOOK GOOD
  • Vernon: can I go home now? I'm not a child of god and it smells like an old man's armpit in here
  • Minghao: HIT ME ONE MORE GAIN
  • Woozi: Bitch I'm short!
  • Seokmin: I know I look cute and sweet but let another bitch look at me sideways. I will knock an old lady on her ass. Try me

I remember being put in some sort of yellow room because I had to take a test, with a big computer touch-screen thing that I was using to answer questions. Suddenly, a frail old man comes up from behind me and looks over my shoulder, he starts talking to me and basically giving me all the right answers to the test. I’m annoyed by this and shoo him away cruelly. Once I finish, I am then put in another room with my mom. It’s basically empty except for a tv in the corner and a few boxes. In my mind this meant we were put in here to brace ourselves for combat in the next room. I also realized that being here means I failed the test. It then hit me that the old man behind me was trying to save me by giving me all the right answers. I began to cry loudly to my mom as we had to prepare for the next room, screaming at her that the old man must’ve been God trying to save me (big leap in logic, but it made sense in the dream). I cried loudly and apologized over and over for dismissing the old man. Then the next room door opened and we went inside. Then I woke up.

anonymous asked:

I think I've talked about it on here before but this old man who regularly hits on me just keeps asking more invasive questions. He's asked me about my age, weight, who I'm dating, and today wanted to know my last name. Luckily I pretended not to hear him and he asked if it was Irish, it's not and I told him the actual origins without saying my last name. So either I dodged a bullet or he somehow already knew my last name and that's why he asked the origins. Guess he's a retired judge too, great

Camp Brigade: Part Two

Orphan Brigade [Baby Years]: The story of how an infamous crime lord became the guardian of three children and a teenager.


“Nature sucks.” Michael pouted as he kicked a rock.

“You’re telling me.” Max rolled his eyes. “I’ve been here weeks. Maybe months. Who knows?! It feels like an eternity.” 

“So what camp are you here for?” Gavin asked, trying to remain cheerful during their directionless trek through the forest.”Science Camp?”

“No.” Max replied, his voice tense.

“Computer Camp?”

“No.”

“Oh! I got it! Anger management camp. Like Micoo. Right?”

“I’m here because my parents don’t give a crap.” Max shrugged. “That’s all.”

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Terrible Things (Part 1)

Imagine meeting Dean while working as a waitress in a small-town diner.

Author: hogwartsismyhometoo

Requested By: 13sjacobs

Song: Terrible Things by Mayday Parade

Word Count: 2,785


Dean turned off the TV and stretched his arms above his head, groaning. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, which had gone blurry from staring at the screen for so long, and glanced at the clock. It was almost one in the morning.

He climbed the stairs with heavy footfalls, dragging himself up the stairs with the little energy he had left. He hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in almost thirteen years. The house was quiet and still, causing every one of Dean’s movements to bounce and echo off the walls. Crickets chirped their soft melody off in the distance while the cicadas harmonized. The sounds were drowned out only by the occasional whir of a car driving by. Dean had gotten used to such suburban noises by now. He hardly noticed them anymore.

The rustle of blankets and long, low creak of box springs caused Dean to pause in the hallway. He used two fingers to push his son’s door open ever so slightly, leaning back to poke his head into the room.

The little boy—though Dean supposed he should stop thinking of Mason as “little” now that he was hitting puberty and shooting up like a weed—laid on his side, facing the window away from the door. This was a dead giveaway. Mason never slept on his side, and he never slept with his back to the door.

“Mason,” Dean whispered. “You awake?”

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not-the-shadow-broker  asked:

Today at work an old man hit me with his cart while i was cleaning rubbish off the floor trying to get me to move (there is an way in to where he wanted 2 and a half feet away from where i was standing) now i was already hard off this morning with a damaged muscle in my foot, but now i've also got a huge painful bruise on the back of my leg that makes me limp more. He's lucky i didn't beat him senseless with my fucking broom. Old customers are assholes 99% of the time in my shop.

He’s well on his way out. I hope the hearse’s back door doesn’t shut all the way and he gets a bumpy ride out on a back road near a farm with a whole lot of manure to break his fall. Old farts that are bitter and take it out on others are really the worst kind of people. -Abby

Part Of The Family [Part Two]

Orphan Brigade [High School Years]: Geoffs boys are growing up fast. They’re attending High School, meeting girls and participating in epic heists.


“Well….” Jeremy started nervously. “This is where I live.”

“Used to live.” Gavin corrected with a cheerful smile.

Jeremy laughed. It was the day after Geoff had offered him a room at the Fake AH penthouse, so Jeremy and the three Lads had gone to his place to pack up his belongings. 

The apartment was nothing special; cramped rooms which always smelled like Chinese food thanks to it’s position on top of a local take out. 

“So, this is…” Gavin started, trying to compliment the place. He jumped as a mouse trap snapped into action.

“Terrible.” Michael finished for him. “It’s fucking terrible.”

“Yeah.” Jeremy laughed. “But it’s the best I could afford.”

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im just gonna make all my personal posts like this from now on

Dear diary,
Today an old, old man hit on me. I laughed dryly and replied, “that’s a good one.” It made me a little uncomfortable.

OLD MAN DOLAN [Super Best Friends Stream Demon's Souls (Part 9)]
  • Woolie: [continues smacking Doran around the area]
  • Plague: Dolan's true power is forgiveness.
  • Spy: Yes it is.
  • Matt: Dammit. This is the hardest thing you've done in this LP.
  • Pat: Absolutely, without any question.
  • Woolie: The physics make no seeeeense.
  • Plague: [old man voice] “He probably didn't mean it when he hit me those five hunderd times.”
  • Matt: “I'm sure it was just a practice!”
  • Plague: [old man voice] “It's only six damage. He couldn't possibly be serious.”