old loo

Me watching TV like:
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Me:</b> Old MacDonald had a farm. Eee ay eee ay oh. And on this farm he had some pairings. Hell oh hell oh no. With a new ship here...wait there's a new ship there...here a ship...there a ship...everywhere potential ships...<p/><b></b> ...Damn Old MacDonald and his farm. Now I'm shipping all these hoes.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

floralfeast  asked:

how weird that the first one disappeared! tumblr is strange but hey love <3

Ok I’m dumb so here we go again.

1. First impression: I was very intimidated omg like, in my eyes you were this big and popular blog and I was so worried that following me was a mistake and I wanted to be your friend because you seemed very lovely.
2. Truth is: You are definitely very lovely. And sweet, gentle, caring, thoughtful. You make everyone feel loved and included, and I’m so happy I got picked to be in the gc! I think you’re an amazing person with a very good heart.
3. How old do you look: I hate this question
4. Have you ever made me laugh: Yep!
5. Have you ever made me mad: Noooo
6. Best feature: I think you have very pretty eyes and a very kind smile
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: A friend crush for sure, I really wanted to be picked for the gc and for you to like me lmfao
8. You’re my: motivator tbh, you always say the sweetest things and always cheer me up and spread a lot of lesbian positivity <3
9. Name in my phone: Becks + your url, how very boring
10. Should you post this too? If you wanna!

FOETUS TO THE MAX A'IGHT

tbh its not finished but i had to post it :)))))

okie to start we will begin with bradley will simpson

i thought id ease you in with a lovely smile bc holy moly u fine

i think someones been doin the marrajuanna

I MEAN LIKE FOETUS BRED WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER JUST LOOK AT THAT MUSHROOM

Y SO SIRIUS BRAD THIS ISNT YOUR JAIL PHOTO OR ANYHING

OH BRAD YOU REBEL PULLIN THE MIDDLE FINGER N ALL

IM PEEING OMG BRAD AND HIS CLIQUE  LOL THEYRE ALL CHAVS 

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lalunaesmivida27  asked:

Hi Toni! Can u write a drabble with ziam in sainsbury's.Famous Li flirting with shy clueless Z over the cheese's area. Or ziam customers who fight over the last weetabix, with tripping, jumping eachother backs, some biting. Choose whichever u like.

Hi Claire,

Thank you so much for the prompt. I love Liam and Sainsburys.  

I’ve gone with the first idea though Zayn’s not shy really, and as its Liam’s birthday today, its Liam’s birthday in this fic. Hope you like it. 

It’s a bit long (2.5k) cos I just love Sainsburys so much so put some under the cut. 

**

“Again? You want to go to there again?”  Paddy’s tone matches his expression as Liam stands up, car keys in hand before he turns away and walks towards the door. “Of all the places you want to go on your birthday, you want to go there rather than going home or going somewhere nice, you choose there?”

“I need more cheese,” he throws back “And you’re my bodyguard and you’re always whinging that I never go out and well Niall’s away and yes it is my birthday and the birthday boy is supposed to get anything he wants, so yeah this is what I want to do, and also, you can let me go on my own if you like, but it won’t look good if I get kidnapped in the bread aisle will it?”

As he opens the front door, he hears Paddy cursing and muttering “Okay Okay, but honestly Sainsbury’s?”

Liam grins to himself.   Step one complete. 

Truth be told, he doesn’t go out at all really. Hasn’t been out on his birthday in years, last year he was on location in the middle of a forest and he got a small cake with a candle on it that they weren’t allowed to light in case it set fire to the trees around them. 

And apart from that, once a month he gets dragged out by Niall if he’s in the UK, otherwise he quite happily cocoons himself at home on his own, him, his dogs and Paddy when he’s around.   

Till last month, till he came back home from filming in the US and went to Sainsbury’s for some supplies.

And well, he does go out now, every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday between 2pm to 6pm to be precise, he just chooses not to say to anyone exactly why.

Not yet anyway.

**

Half an hour later and he’s pushing the trolley up and down the aisles, aimlessly throwing in food he doesn’t need.  

When he stops by the fruit and veg, he senses rather than sees people notice him, most leave him alone, most probably don’t even realise its him but he suspects that’ll change soon because in the past he’d switch supermarkets every couple of weeks just to make sure the paparazzi didn’t get wind of his habits, instead he’s a regular here now.

No one bothers him, so he picks out some fruit, lobs them in the trolley, walks past the cakes, thinks for a couple of moments of buying one before he reasons that’s a bit sad to buy his own birthday cake so he carries on walking towards his destination, the sole purpose of his coming here.  

He sees him as he approaches the counter, and despite himself Liam smiles and honestly if Niall could see him now, he’d never hear the end of it.

He lifts up his sunglasses, puts them in the inside pocket of his jacket, pulls a ticket from the machine and stands by waiting his turn.

Trouble is, it’s not just him working the counter today, there’s the old lady that’s been there for as long as Liam’s been coming here, her name’s Lil, she knows Liam, she always asks him about his next film, always teases him about the leading ladies, hasn’t got a clue he’s gay, probably wouldn’t care anyway.

But as much as likes her, he wishes she wasn’t here today.  The other people disperse really quickly until it’s just a lady with a toddler in the seat bit of the trolley being served by Lil and an old bloke by Zayn.   

Liam tries not to stare, especially without his shades but its hard not to.   Zayn’s got the Sainsbury’s uniform on, brown and orange aren’t the best look really, shouldn’t be and yet Zayn’s still better looking than anyone Liam’s laid eyes on.

And he’s worked with George Clooney so he’s an authority on these kinds of things okay?

Zayn’s current haircut, even though its covered by the net on the back of the little cap he wears, is as long he’s seen it, little bit of a wave to it and it makes him look a bit older than he’s seen him, but while it makes him look older, at the same time he looks softer, and as he talks to the old guy, laughs slightly and gives him his full attention, it suits him.   

Liam’s learned to observe people over the years, part of the job to read people, to be able to ‘get them’, not just for the acting side of things, but in interviews, he can spot an interviewer out to trip him up in seconds, he decides he prefers using those skills for this.

On the surface Zayn seems to be the quiet type, a bit shy even, but he’s been here enough that Liam’s seen another side, seen him coming from whatever’s behind the door out through the back laughing like a drain, next to one of the other staff members, seen enough that he wants to see more, know more. 

The old guy takes the cheese from Zayn, just as the lady takes hers from Lil and Zayn turns around, presses the button to signal the next number which is Liam’s and Liam’s just about to hand his ticket over to Zayn when he turns away, says something quietly to Lil who meets Liam’s eyes at that very moment, and then walks away.

Liam used to be better at hiding his disappointment at things, he calls it his ‘losing out at the Oscars’ face, but this is something else, and he sees Lil narrow her eyes at his reaction and then she looks at the retreating back of Zayn’s and with a smirk, and a tap of her nose she calls his name.

“Oh Zayn” Zayn stops, turns round, huffing a bit as Lil beckons him back to her.

“I’m sorry love,” she has a hand on his arm as soon as he reaches her, “My varicose veins are playing me up, and I’m desperate for the loo, old lady problems you know, can you serve this nice young gentleman while I go and do what old women do”.

Zayn pulls a face, mutters something about “Too much information” but with a quick flick of his eyes at Liam, he nods. 

“You’re a good boy Zayn,” she says lifting a hand to his cheek, patting it lightly and Zayn grumbles “Gerroff,” though he’s grinning as he says it, and then Lil’s gone, but not before she flashes an over exaggerated wink at Liam and a thumbs up and thank goodness Zayn doesn’t have eyes in the back of his head.

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