It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.
Walking out in the nighttime springtime, needling my way home. I saw Leah on the bus a few months ago. I saw some old friends at her funeral. My steps keep splitting my grief through these solipsistic moods. I should call my parents when I think of them, I should tell my friends when I love them. Maybe I shoulda gone out a bit more when you guys were still in town. I got too caught up in my own shit, that’s how every outcome’s such a comedown.
One day a “friend” of mine contacted me about making a Point of Sale program for his new coffee house. I begrudgingly decided agreed after he said he’d pay me a generous sum of money. The conversation after that went like this.
Client: Great. I’m glad you agreed to do this for me. Thanks for the help!
Me: No problem.
Client: So can you make the program where I can add buttons myself for the various products and customizable prices?
Me: Sure, but that will take a while. I haven’t done anything exactly like that ever before but it should be possible.
Client: Great! And don’t forget the tax button. I want it to be a customizable price too.
Me: Okay then.
Client: Great. Can you have it to me by next Tuesday?
Me: Um… no. that’s only 4 days away. The work you’re requesting is at least a month even if I pull a bunch of all-nighters.
Client: Oh awesome, so you can have it by Tuesday then.
Me: No I can’t.
Client: Will twenty dollars sweeten the deal? Is that enough? If not I can pay forty.
Me: Definitely not. This job will cost thousands of dollars easily.
Client:Suck it up b****. I need this program before we open on Tuesday. So get to work.
Me: An entire team of programmers couldn’t have this ready by Tuesday. And they’ll charge 10 times what I will for this project.
Client: Well fine. I thought we were friends but apparently you value money over me. Good bye.
The client hung up and I haven’t heard from or spoken to him since.
But the worse thing about growing up and getting older, is the way my friends just sort of drifted away. It is sad how someone can mean so much to you, and be such an important part of your life, and then, because of time, or other uncontrollable circumstances, you never see them again. For whatever reason they are gone, and you miss them, and everyday you hope and pray that you will see them again, if only for a second. But they go on without ever thinking of you, or knowing how much they have meant, or just how beautiful they are, and how your life will never be what you want it to be without them