Walking out in the nighttime springtime, needling my way home. I saw Leah on the bus a few months ago. I saw some old friends at her funeral. My steps keep splitting my grief through these solipsistic moods. I should call my parents when I think of them, I should tell my friends when I love them. Maybe I shoulda gone out a bit more when you guys were still in town. I got too caught up in my own shit, that’s how every outcome’s such a comedown.
People walk into one another’s lives for a reason. It’s not always the one you hope, but that doesn’t lessen the experience. That best friend that you drifted away from, you helped her realize that she didn’t need to live under her parent’s thumb because she’s strong enough to be independent. That almost-boyfriend you had, he made you realize that you have so much value and that you deserve so much more than what you’ve been asking for. That person that betrayed you, you taught them that causing wounds in others just deepens the wounds in themselves rather than heal them- and they taught you that a bad choice does not mean a bad person.
Sometimes people come into your life to be a sword or a shield. They are there to help fight a battle and once that battle is over, they are no longer necessary. So never be sad about the people no longer in your life- you served your purpose and that battle is over. Look back and smile instead.
Reconnecting with old friends is always good. Seeing how far they’ve gone and grown in life is such a wonderful feeling. Knowing that you let them back into your life can be a little scary considering what happened between the two of you, but it’s also good to know that someone is still there for you, looking out. Real friends always come back into your life after a while. It’s good to talk about what happened between the two of you with each other, even at 4am. Having a heart to heart conversation is always needed with old friends.
old friends // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #18