old folks home

3

Sun City

“While out snapping, I was approached by a Mr. Sam Bybee, who looked curiously at me photographing his front lawn. ‘So you like what I’ve done with the place?’ he asked me, pulling out his wallet and showing me a badge. 'I was a Texas Ranger for 32 years. This lawn is a tribute to a life I once knew. Want a tour?’ I followed him into the backyard, passing an overweight beagle, whom he referred to lovingly by the name Peaches. 'I’ve owned 117 dogs. I just had to bury one today. I get them from the pound up the street, so they don’t have to put as many of them down. If any of your friends ever want one, I get them their shots and give them away for free. Never could respect anyone who charged money for a dog.’”

by Anna Hollow

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Old Folks Home - The Whitest Kids U'Know on IFC (by ifc)

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Old Folks Home | WKUK (Whitest Kids U Know)

I was playin’ Xbox with a couple of friends
When my mom called and said Grandma’s dyin’ again
I told her that sucks and to say I said Hi
Mom yelled at me and told me that I had to drop by

Go off to the nursing home
We drove in my car
There were sleeping dudes in wheel chairs
All over the yard

And inside the halls were scary
And creepily lit
It smelled like someone took a dump
And then rotisserie’d it

Then I found granny’s room
And I went inside
Good to see you, she said
You too, I lied
Then she started talking ‘bout  the stuff she ate this week
I stuck my friends with her
And went to take a leak
Peed all I could pee, ‘til I could pee no more
So bored I opened up one of her cabinet drawers
Oh my god, I shouted as I burst back in
grams got a prescription of OXYCONTIN

Let’s go to the old folks home
We can get doped up
And then all get stoned
Let’s go to the old folks home
I’d a been there more if on-ly i’d know

Let’s go to the old folks home
We can get doped up
and then all get stoned
Let’s go to the old folks home
I’d a been here more if on-ly I’d know

Old man Bernie likes to talk ‘bout  the Korean War
And if he uses all of his PERCADAN he gets some more

Ms. Edna doesn’t care for the “black salon”
But she’s got glaucoma, so she gets good pot

Gladys here only has diabetes
So the best thing you’ll find here is Tylenol 3

But Carl is my man
He’s got like AIDS in his brain
And I swear to God the dude can even get cocaine

So we rip a couple lines
Put on some records
Bitch ‘bout  kids
And talk ‘bout the weather
Steve craps his pants
We all leave the room
We pass out, take naps
Some nurses bring food

Day after day as time goes on by
Some people don’t make it
We get sad and cry
But new people move in
And we all make new friends
With new stories, points of view, and pre-scrip-tion

I guess the point is that the elderly are people too
And you never know how long they’re gonna be with you
But they’re sweet and they’re lonely
And they still need friends
Be a good kid and go and visit them

Let’s go to the old folks home
We can get doped up
And then all get stoned
Let’s go to the old folks home
I’d  a been there more if only I’d know

Let’s go to the old folks home
We can get doped up
And then all get stoned
Let’s go to the old folks home
I’d a been here more if only I’d know

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WKUK. I love them.

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“Lets go to the old folks home,

we can get doped up,

and then all get stoned”