Rest in Peace, Jason.
It’s crazy to think that just Monday I saw you and talked to you. I heard your voice and saw that smile that could brighten up anyone’s bad day. But now…. Now you’re gone. You’re looking down upon me and everyone else in Ola. You’re Ola's guardian angel. There’s so much I wish I could have told you before you left, so many question I still have for you, and for God.
Why did God choose you? You were only 15. You were so full of life and happiness. You were smart, compassionate, healthy. Why did you have to go to CrossFit after football practice Tuesday? So you could be better? Jase, you were already one the best players on the team. I’ve never seen so much dedication like you had before. I just keep think if you didn’t go to CrossFit after practice would you still be alive? Or if you didn’t come to practice? It still confuses me that everything happened when you got home. You were fine at practice, you were fine at CrossFit, but then you get home and were working on your homework then you’re being rushed to the hospital? It doesn’t add up. Doctors have ruled out heart attack and stroke. You’re blood and urine tests came back normal. They ruled out that sports, energy drinks, anything like that. So what happened Jason? You were getting better. The prayers were working. You were breathing on your own again and conscious. Then the next thing I know your brain is swelling and you’re on life support. Then I turn around, getting a phone calling saying you’re being taken of life support because you’re completely brain dead. What happened? You’re autopsy is Monday. But I can’t wait till then, because then it’s 6 weeks till we get the results. I want to know now, Jason.
I miss you. I miss everything about you. You were a little brother to me. I want to wake up and this all be a bad dream. I didn’t even get a chance to ask you yet, I was going to ask you yesterday before the game if you would be my date for prom. Yeah, I know prom isn’t until May but I wanted to go ahead and ask because I thought it would have been fun. You always knew how to have the best time no matter where you were.
Looking at your Twitter earlier and seeing that tweet about you saying no one cares about you. Sweetheart, look down from Heaven, look at all the people that care about you, that love you, that barely knew you but are so upset. You brought Ola back together as the little community it was one. It’s unfortunate that it took your death to realize that we all are a family. We are Ola.
Listening to your friends, family, people that hardly knew you, or just talked you once before talk about you tonight at the candle light memorial brought more tears to my eyes because it showed me how many live you had and have impacted. It’s incredible.
I can not say enough how much I miss you. It hasn't officially hit me that I won’t see you at school or football. I won’t see your tweets on my timeline, or see your posts on Facebook. I’m going to miss you asking me every 5 minutes what time is it at football. I’m already missing everything about you.
Look after everyone in Ola. We’re all counting on you. You’re superman.
I love you, Jason Tyler Holland. 1/26/97 - 8/17/12
#77 on the field but #1 in my heart.