ol e

when cutting onions:

-noct cries and complains about the fact that he’s crying
-prompto cries onto the actual onion
-gladio tears up and asks iggy why he’s doing this when literally anyone else could instead
-iggy doesn’t tear up because he’s a fucking beast

REDRAW!!! the og picture was drawn in like December 2014 wink

Keep reading

cr33p3r515  asked:

Keith gets flustered and calls Lance a blueberry?


I accept.

It’s probably gonna be an insult, bahahaha!

mmmm I’m feelin’ the AUs tonight in the theme of Halloween

Domestic Hunter McCree and Demon Hanzo where they get to spend their first Halloween off in god knows how long. They typically have quite a few cases to investigate this time of year, and sometimes it’ll even be a waste of time bc it ends up just bein’ some kids trying to spread a scare.

But listen-

The point of this is picturing Hanzo answering the door for trick or treaters without an ounce of glamour bc it’s the one time of year he can, and he’s just really sweet to the kids, man. Pl e as e… Big ol’ teefy grin… Of course they’re going to compliment him on his ‘costume’. He leaves them with a cliche/cryptic warning about staying out late and monsters

Him and McCree just cycle back and forth between giving out candy; McCree’s gear is too dangerous, but his normal cowboy gear does just fine

I love those spider-man fics where Peter Parker is a broke nerd just doing his best and also other fics where he’s playing secret vigilante right under the Avenger’s nose (and also that civil war never happened). 

Of course my most favorite kind of Spider-man fic/hc is where he’s just a more…Spidery Spidey. Extra limbs, poisonous mandibles, maybe an extra eye or two, and natural webs/buggy habits. 

Spider-boy is my fav and I want him to be a happy monster <3 I’d write more fanfics about him if i could…remember how to…write…..>~>;;;;;

anonymous asked:


u mean like this?? ¿? 

Starring in an awkward middle school AU ft. a (very) confused/ flustered Yuu
Yuu: ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ??????
Mika: What????

What’s The Malfunction?

This has been a long time in the making.  I cannot keep doing this.  I am fed up with having sex with strangers.

Fed up.

I’ll be talking about this tomorrow, but I am going through some serious changes.  And the men that I have met throughout the history of this blog have just fucking exhausted me.  And it all came to a head today at Chic-fil-A.

I was on the Jack’D  with a guy who was not too far from my neighborhood.  At first he gave me an address that was literally 3 blocks from my apartment.  Such a close proximity had me salivating.  I told him that I would get ready, and call him right before I was leaving.  I cleaned up and gave him a call, and asked him to give me his exact address.  He told me, Actually, I don’t stay on the street I told you, I live on X street.  X street?, I thought.  I told him, That’s more than a mile away from the original spot you named.  He replied, Yeah, well that’s still pretty close.

For a person in a car, he was somewhat correct.  But for me–a man whose car is a bike–its annoying.

With hesitation, I told him that I would come over.  About 20 minutes later, I arrived at his place.  He lived in a basement apartment.  He was a relatively fit, carmel skinned man.  He had an amazing porn video playing on the television–two well built, well hung black men were banging a white woman VIGOROUSLY.  I exhaled at the sight.

We went to his bedroom, and I was so horny that I was rock hard.  He told me that he wanted to fuck me.  His dick was nice, I pulled out a condom and wrapped him up.  I was ready to get down.  He went to fuck me, and his dick went soft.

He looked at me, This condom is cutting off my circulation.  He played with it a little more and said, This is too tight, it doesn’t feel good.  I looked at him, and I was totally disgusted.  And I thought, Man, you’re dick isn’t that big.

But then I realized that wasn’t the voice in my head speaking.   I had actually said those words outloud.

I looked at his face, and he was visibly pissed at my critique of his rod.  I didn’t care.  I was so tired of this: The guy who can’t get hard with a condom.

I know you’re thinking, Damn Matt, you’re so harsh.  Everybody has erection problems once in a while.  You’d be absolutely right.  Many people do have problems with erections at various times.  But there was something about his condom is to tight statement that sounded like a big fat lie.

And one minute later, his lie revealed itself when he asked me, So can I just stick it in for a minute?

I looked at him.

He wanted to stick his nasty dick in my ass bareback.  He had no intention of having sex with a condom.  For me the whole mood was ruined.

Can’t I just meet a guy, have some functional sex without the stupid shit?  Why do you want to fuck me raw?  What’s the malfunction?

I grabbed my clothes and put them on and left.  I’m tired of wondering why people want to endanger me.  Why, in this day and age they don’t want to protect themselves.  I am just plain ole  e x h a u s t e d.

Like I said, I’m really fed up with this bullshit.  It’s time for a change…