Sometimes I wonder what you would have done if I begged. What if I got down on my knees until they bled and admitted how wrong I was to love you? I would have grabbed your leg like a child and my muffled cries would have sent chills down your spine. I would tell you how it was foolish of me to think you would stay. I mean, why would you ever stay?
Maybe if I made you think that all of the bullshit you put me through was justified, maybe that’s what it would have taken to make you want to stay.
If that’s the case, I’m glad you slammed the fucking door on your way out. I’m a hell of a lot stronger than you ever gave me credit for.
cool street cool air cool girl.
snapping fingers in rhythm
to midsummer heart beats,
all so even and exactly similar
that mine shake the darling buds
as much as the next guy’s.
feet crush ground
in an unforgiving relationship.
feet are feathers and mothers.
feet are constant ticking of clocks.
feet are trains of thought
leaving footprints in the snow and gravel
grating as they go.
breathe once for clarity, twice for recollection.
lungs filled with icy winters
wake sleeping bears
and exhale the sparks of the crackling fires through limp tongues.
the juxtaposition of the unsaid.
you can’t relate anymore
the leather jacket feels thinner
and you slowly melt into anything but right in the mirror.
eye contact was made up
by those who can afford to choke
on perfume and tight gags.
use up the last candle
to move into the age of headlights.
it’s always brightest before the
cool street cool air cool girl.
Summary: Lydia gives Stiles a push towards asking a girl out. (“Lydia, no!”)
Author’s Note: Let’s just imagine that all of them go to the same college and are in the same class, okay? :3
It’s always ninety minutes of bliss, two days a week. Oh no,
it’s not about the class that Stiles enjoys; he could care less about statistics.
It’s not about the fact that it’s a class he has with all his friends (well, partially).
It’s about the fact that exactly three rows ahead of him and
four seats to the left in the large auditorium classroom is an absolutely, ridiculously,
gorgeous girl. And maybe she doesn’t think that she is gorgeous; she always
came to class looking as simple as possible, but it was that simplicity that he
likes about her.
Students were trickling into the classroom slowly. Stiles arrived
early to save the seats for his friends, and as they took their seats, he
notices her come in. His eyes follow
her to the seat she had been occupying since the start of the semester.
“Who are you staring at?” Lydia asks.
Stiles doesn’t hear her at first. When he realizes she is
talking to him, he blinks and tears his eyes away from the girl. “What?”
Lydia follows where his eyes were directed at before turning
back to him. “You’ve been staring at her a lot.”
His lips morph into a grin. “She is quite pretty.”
“You should ask her out.”
Stiles frowns and shakes his head. “What? No! Can you
imagine how that’s gonna turn out? It’d be an absolute disaster! ‘Cause this isn’t creepy or anything but I’ve
been staring at you during class and I think you’re pretty. Wanna go out?’”
Lydia rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You should at least ask
her to sit with us.”
Her lips twist into a wicked grin and she slides out of her
seat. “I’m gonna ask her to sit with us.”
Stiles balks and waves his arms in protest. “No! No! Lydia, no!”
Lydia strides over to where the girl is sitting and sits
down beside her. “Hi,” she greets. “I’m Lydia. What’s your name?”
The girl is taken aback by the sudden start in conversation
but she quickly shakes it off. “I’m [Name].”
“[Name], it’s a pleasure to meet you. Do you have a
She shifts in her seat in discomfort and shakes her head.
Lydia’s grin grows and adds, “Fantastic. Well, you see, my
friend over there–” She points to Stiles behind them. [Name] turns in her seat
to look back at him. Stiles grins at her and gives a small wave. When she turns
back to Lydia, Stiles groans and buries his head in his arms. Malia and Scott
reach over to pat him on the back. “He thinks you’re pretty cute. So I was
wondering if you wanna sit with us so he can ask you out.”
Heat rushes to [Name]’s cheeks as she stumbles over an
answer. “Oh, well, I-I–”
“You’re gonna sit with us.” Lydia begins helping her gather
her books and belongings before taking her by the hand and pulling her towards
the rest of the group. “Everyone, this is [Name]. [Name] this is Stiles,” and
in a low voice she adds, “Y’know. The one who thinks you’re pretty.” She grins
at the sight of her flush. “And this is Malia, Scott, and his girlfriend Kira.”
[Name] gives all of them an embarrassed smile and a short
wave. “Hi,” she greets. Their amused grins only make her feel more
Lydia grabs her belongings from her seat next to Stiles and
moves over one. “You can sit here,” she says pointing to the chair that is now
between her and Stiles.
[Name] takes the seat between Lydia and Stiles and wrings
her hands together. She glances at Stiles and smiles at him though it’s fueled
by nerves. Stiles smiles back and over her shoulders, he can see Lydia
gesturing for him to ask [Name] out. He’s saved when the professor walks in to
start the lecture.
They don’t talk during class, but Stiles continues to steal
glances at her. She’s engrossed in the lecture as she jots down notes, but he
knows she’s still feeling self-conscious when she shifts in her seat more than
When class ends, Stiles turns to her as his friends begin
packing up their books. “Hey,” he says. “Are you busy after this?”
She shakes her head. “I have another class, but not for
another two hours.”
“Oh.” He musters every bit of courage he has to force the
words out of his throat. “I know this whole thing has been unconventional and uncomfortable,
but uh…do you wanna get something to eat? Right now?”
Her smile and laugh looks good on her as she nods. “Yeah.
Sure. I’d like that.”
He follows her out of the row of seats, punching the air in
I used to think that something wasn’t right with me when I was kissing boys that didn’t know my last name or when I was drinking until I couldn’t see or think straight.
Now, I’m finding that this might be the oddest thing I’ve ever done. Willingly giving myself to you even after you’ve let me down countless times. This isn’t love, but I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.
At least I can’t be disappointed if you screw it up again