okay this is out of context of our conversation but i want it on my blog


Hi kids!

This is a gentle public service announcement to let you all know that I’m no longer engaging in any more discourse about the kink meme. 

This has become a really polarizing topic, I think the fandom’s collective ability to discuss it in a constructive way has eroded quite a bit, and the “callout posts” about it have themselves begun to feed an alarming amount of sensitive or triggering content into public social media spaces, which, quite frankly, runs a far higher risk of landing in front of the eyeballs of someone who needs to avoid it than when it’s safely quarantined in spaces like LiveJournal and Ao3.

It is staying open for at least the next couple weeks, and I intend to keep writing Kabby fic for it and sharing that fic here, as well as on Ao3.  I’m a big proponent of people curating their own social media spaces, so if you need to unfollow, block, blacklist, etc. because that is a nope for you, that doesn’t bug me in the least and I don’t take it personally.  We all have to know where our boundaries are.

A few last words on this topic and then I’m done. 

(P.S. this post contains no potentially triggering references to any of the specific kinks or fics in question.  It’s safe for all.)

There are many fics on the kink meme and Ao3 that I can’t and won’t ever read.  There are many kinks that squick me out.  But if you’re asking me to condemn specific writers or specific fics because they upset you, just know I’m never going to do that.  Even if it’s a fic I would never read myself.  My position is always going to be that I’m a writer and I stand with writers.  Even when I disagree.  Even when what they wrote squicks me out. 

“But what about this kink? Surely you can’t defend that writer.” 

Yes I can. 

“Okay, but what about this???  This very upsetting thing involving your favorite character?” 

Yeah, even that one. 

Free speech is most important when it isn’t convenient.  It’s most important when you have to go to bat for the rights of people to say shit that makes you want to die inside.  It’s why the ACLU defends Westboro Baptist Church.  If I only held to my values when it related to people who agreed with me and did exactly what I approve of, then they’re not values, they’re personal tastes I’m trying to legislate on everyone else.

My best friend and I were discussing this on Twitter yesterday when this cropped up over there.  We have very, very different personal tastes.  As in, there are rarepairs I write for and kinks I enjoy reading that hit some places of really deep “please don’t discuss that fic while I’m in the room” discomfort for her.  And we’ve learned, over the past years, how to be sensitive and respectful to each other about those things.  I offered - without her asking - to write a censored version of one of my fics to remove a personal squick of hers so that she could read it and not feel left out of the fun the rest of the group chat was having.  She, in turn, never once judged or shamed me for writing the thing that made her uncomfortable in the first place … which is just as important. It’s crucial to our relationship that, just as I don’t judge her for her preferences, she doesn’t judge me for mine.  And I don’t judge other people for theirs, even when they’re MILES away from things I would ever consider erotic, or even feel comfortable reading.  Because another trigger which is very, very real - which for many of us is deeply lodged within our body and our sense of self - is the trauma of being publicly shamed, outed, maligned, or criminalized for your sexuality.

I am gay, and for eight years I was a youth minister at my church.  When I was in my mid-twenties, an anti-gay hate group found a video clip online of a documentary about LGBT Christians that I had been interviewed for, and they emailed it to the entire staff of the church where I worked, the school, and the office of the diocese.  Until you have been outed by force, against your will, to your pastor, your coworkers, your middle school health teacher, the school moms whose kids are in your youth group, and the fucking Archbishop, with a letter explaining that young people are in danger from your deviant sexuality; until you have been on the receiving end of a campaign of online harassment that went on for four years; until you have read a complete stranger write on her blog, not three months after your mother’s funeral, that she hopes your mom died without knowing she had a gay child, to spare her that humiliation; then you cannot possibly imagine the sense of sexual shame that I have carried for my entire adult life about the idea that the things I do in private behind closed doors, or even the things I think about in the privacy of my own mind, are fundamentally evil and wrong.  

This is why I do not make assumptions or judgments about other people’s sexuality.  There is a wide gulf between the things that turn you on in fiction and things that turn you on when done to live human beings (including not just your own sex life, but any other area such as the sex trade, trafficking, the porn industry, etc., where real human beings may potentially experience harm). 

If I can make a distinction between you enjoying a television show where people have murdered each other without assuming you are a murderer, I’m not going to come after anyone for what they masturbate to, no matter how squicky I find it, by assuming they would practice or endorse criminal sexual behavior in real life.  

If you were in a car accident, it might be really, really traumatic for you to watch movies or TV shows that show graphic depictions of car accidents.  That’s 100% legit.  It would be fair for you to expect a warning about that content so you know what you’re getting into and can skip that episode, close your eyes and look away during that part of the movie, or say “nope this isn’t for me, that’s not content I’m comfortable with.”  And nobody would judge you for that.  However, there are other people who have been in car accidents who might be fine with it.  It might not land in their body the same way.  They might find it cathartic to watch the thing that happened to them from a safe distance in a context which is fictional.  They might process the trauma they went through - which is the same as yours - in a way that looks totally different.  

None of this is universal.  There are no hard-and-fast rules about what sexual fantasies are and aren’t okay.  For example, I know at least two fics which I’ve seen alluded to as being content that should not exist because it triggers survivors of _____, which were written by survivors of that exact thing themselves.  You have every right to protect your own boundaries, but you cannot assume that everyone else’s boundaries are in the same place.  

This blog is and remains a primarily Kabby-only blog which I do care very much about keeping a safe space.  I have always, and will continue to, post occasional fic here with Raven or Bellamy OT3s, and am absolutely happy to help you out if there is a way I can be more helpful in tagging that content for you so you can blacklist it and keep your Tumblr safe if that’s something that makes you uncomfortable.  It is always, always okay to come to me with “hey can you tag this thing so I can filter it.” 

In terms of the kink meme, the fic I’m writing and sharing here is primarily Kabby.  I have written for some other pairings, which you can find on my AO3 in my collection of kink meme fills (Doctor Mechanic, etc.) but this is a Kabby blog designed for Kabby shippers, so the kink meme fics I’m writing are largely for them.  They are also all labeled very carefully when I share them to AO3 with the specific prompt I was filling, and a plethora of tags, in case the kink they’re about hits a button that is a nope for you. 

I am always, always open to helping you guys create safe internet spaces by opening up a conversation about ways I can tag fic more helpfully.  But just as I do not police who anyone sleeps with or what gender(s) they’re attracted to - because I remember on a visceral gut level the shame and trauma I felt when that was done to me - I do not police what anyone masturbates to, fantasizes about, is turned on by, writes about, or reads about.  

Before anyone gets the wrong idea that my inbox has been flooded with assholes, I should be clear that 99% of all the conversations I’ve had on this topic - whether people love the kink meme, hate it, can only handle parts of it, don’t read smut fic at all, or don’t care what anyone else does behind closed doors and just wants to go back to talking about whether Isaiah’s tweet this afternoon legit means Jaha got killed off??? - have been thoughtful and civil and great.  The Kabby fandom is awesome and the majority of the really ugly drama has been swirling around around at a distance from our happy little corner.  But I still get occasional anons about this which seem pretty clearly intended to draw me into conflict I have zero interest in, so I wanted to state, one last time, very clearly, that I’m not going to be engaging in any of those from this point forward, and explain as thoughtfully as I can the reasons why.


Chances Part 2

Thank you to everyone who enjoyed, re-blogged or commented! You sure know how to make someone’s comeback feel like a good one. Not sure how many parts this little series may have, but we’re not done yet!

Part 1

She was two people ahead of her, there were two bides standing in front of her and letting Owen’s missing sister walk away forever. She quickly shoved through them both, apologizing as she ran to catch up with the red head right as she entered the terminal.


The woman turned around, her smile still intact but looking questioningly at Amelia. She shifted her bag to her shoulder.

“Did I forget something on the plane?”

“No… I. I need to show you something.”

Megan looked at her confused, as Amelia whipped out her phone and quickly clearing to her home screen, a picture of her and Owen from their wedding. She held the phone and leaned towards Megan to show her. Megan’s smile immediately dropped at the picture, looking like she had seen a ghost.

Amelia hit her pictures quickly and pulled up a picture of Owen and Nathan at the wedding, watching as Megan paled even more.

“I… I have to go.”

She watched as the woman tried to bolt, Amelia grabbing her arm quickly and pulling her towards a quieter corner.

“Please let go of me.”

“They think you’re dead. Both of them. They both searched for you.”

Megan pulled away from her, holding her bag tight to her body. She tucked a curl nervously behind her ear.

“They have no idea you’re alive. What have you been doing for the last 9 years? Hiding?”

“Look they don’t need to know where I am. It’s better this way.” she replied as she turned to walk away. “And I’d really appreciate if you don’t mention that you ever saw me.”

“Megan your mother thinks you’re dead.”

She watched as Megan stopped in her tracks, clearly hesitating. She went to move again, this time clearly walking away.

“Fine. You know what, screw you.”

Amelia watched as she disappeared into a group of people waiting to board their flight. She sighed as she juggled her bag, throwing her phone back in, looking for wallet, every intent of turning around and going back to Seattle.

“She’s alive?”

Amelia nearly jumped at Megan’s sudden presence. Megan looked uneasy staring self-consciously at her feet before looking back at Amelia. Amelia nodded, as Megan let out what seemed to be a small breath of relief.

“Are you going back to Seattle?”

Amelia nodded. “You should come with me.”

“I… I can’t. What am I supposed to do just show up on her doorstep? I am just supposed to be like “Hey mom I know you thought I was dead, turns out I’ve been alive this whole time.”

Amelia went to open her mouth to argue, Megan abruptly cutting her off.

“And what about Owen? “Hi big brother. Sorry I faked my own death. Hey gee what ever happened to Beth?”


Megan’s cheeks flushed, clearly realizing her new sister-in-law had no idea who Beth was. Amelia shrugged her shoulders.

“No it’s fine.  He’s been married already.”

“What? To who? Okay, not the point.”

Amelia chuckled slightly, at Megan’s need to constantly talk, the habit seemed strangely familiar. She watched as Megan’s body tensed up again.

“What about Nathan? Am I just supposed to forget the fact that he cheated on me? That our relationship was destroyed the last time I saw him. How did he even end up in Seattle?”

“Maybe he was looking for you. I don’t really know… he’s only been here about a year. Owen and he are just now on five worded conversations.”

Megan sighed, knowing how stubborn they both could be. She shifted uneasily.

“Can I see that picture again?”

Amelia nodded as she pulled out her phone, pulling up the picture of the two men. Meghan smiled slightly as Amelia watched her eyes fill up with tears. Amelia swiped to the next picture, a picture of Owen and her with his mom.

Megan’s eyes closed in defeat at seeing her mother. Amelia put her hand on her forearm as she put the phone back in her bag.

“Come with me to Seattle.”

Megan opened her eyes again, trying to find another excuse as to not go her, mouth opening in exasperation but nothing coming out.

“You said it before. He wouldn’t want you to feel this guilty.”

Megan eyed Amelia, her own previous words of advice being used out of context and against her. She watched as Amelia stood, staring at her waiting for a response. Finally, for whatever her reasoning was, she caved.

“Great. Let’s go find a flight.”

Both women took off towards the ticket counter, Amelia glancing over as Megan kept up with her pace, but still looked visibly nervous.

“We’re going to Seattle.”

Megan nodded, her eyes wide, as she nervously cleared her throat.

“We’re going to Seattle.”


Amelia knocked on the door of her house, shifting uneasily. Both her and Megan had agreed that they probably both shouldn’t just show up at the door, so Megan was in a coffee shop downtown, waiting for a text from Amelia to take a cab.

Amelia should be worried that she would bolt, take off and never look back. But she had to believe in her a little.

She waited and then watched as the door opened and there stood Owen, who upon realizing it was Amelia at the door, looked visibly taken aback.


She watched as Owen continued to stare at her, her heart feeling like it was in throat. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“I know you’re probably really mad. And I’m sorry. But I had to leave and I know I shouldn’t have just left a note but I didn’t want you to-”

She was cut off as Owen enveloped her in a near bone crushing hug. She sighed as she relaxed in his embrace. She felt a hand go to cup the back of her head, his fingers raking through her curls to almost make sure it was her.

“You don’t want to throw me out?”

Owen sighed as he pressed a kiss to her temple before pulling away slightly so they were more loosely wrapped in each other.

“I didn’t know where you were. Or if you were safe. I was worried.”

Amelia felt her hand go to his cheek as Owen let out a pained sigh, as she truly saw the emotional impact her sudden disappearance had left on him.

“We need to talk. I know we do. About us and… everything. But there’s something else we need to talk about first.”

Owen hesitantly looked at her before nodding. She pulled away as they stepped into the house.

“But I’m going to need you to call someone first.”

Amelia paced nervously in front of her coffee table as Owen and Nathan watched her.

“Okay I’m just going to come out and ask- are the two of you trying to tell me you’re having an affair?”

Amelia and Nathan immediately responded with a chorus of “Owen! No.” and “Seriously mate?”.

Owen shrugged in confusion as Amelia shot him a dirty look, Nathan looking just visibly uncomfortable at this point.

“Seriously Shepherd, why did you need to speak with the both of us? If this is you trying to meddle…. we’re good. Right mate?”

Owen nodded in agreement as Amelia smiled lightly at how the two men finally seemed to be getting along.

The door bell rang as Amelia immediately ran to answer it.  Both Owen and Nathan looked at each other equally as lost.

They both turned as the door closed, neither of them prepared for the person who was standing behind it.


O Christmas Tree - Artemi Panarin

Originally posted by pattytkane

Notes: Yes, I acknowledge that Christmas is not even close to the date this was posted, and yes I also know I’ve been lacking on imagines and I do apologize but I’ve been sick. :( Regardless, here’s me, hopefully back in the swing of things, so I hope you all enjoy this silly imagine!! Flashbacks are in italics.

Warnings: Mentions of religion

Requested By Anonymous: Hi! I just found your blog and I love it! It’s so cute!!! I saw that requests were open, so if you have time and are willing…will you write one for Artemi Panarin? I’d be happy with literally anything! Thank you!!            

Up Next: Auston Matthews OR Kasperi Kapanen

Teaser: “You don’t have Christmas music on! Or cookies!” He sounded betrayed as he looked around the cookie-barren and quiet room with mild disgust.

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Regarding Chris “Kirbopher” Niosi

This post has been ten years coming.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I know for a fact that very few people like Kirbopher, but because of the state of the animation and voiceover industries, no one has the courage to say it without looking like a drama stirrer. I have no attachment to any industry, although I used to date an animator/storyboarder. Every time the conversation of Kirb being an awful, disgusting person comes up online, several people chime in and a friend of mine and I have gotten followers because of it. Hell, I even hung out with Egoraptor and his friends, and we spent hours that night dragging Kirb for all he’s worth.

And yeah, haha, Kirb’s bad, funny joke, but no, it’s not just his art quality that’s (subjectively) not very great. Kirb is one of the most selfish, abusive people I have ever met. He is part of why I have no memory of the year 2011. This isn’t going to take the traditional form of a “callout” post, rather, I will be dissecting two chat logs and an email sent to me by him.

Some background: I met Kirbopher through Bryon “Psyguy” Beaubien, who I have called out previously, alongside their mutual friend CrikeyDave. I have also called out Kirb’s ex, Liz Losey. Here is the post, I recommend reading it for further context, as I remember her abuse very well, on top of Kirb’s part in it. I understand if you stop believing me at this point, but please understand that SuperPsyguy’s whole group of friends were either abusers or abuse victims. Kirb stayed for the longest out of all of them. Guess which one he was?

Anyway, I will explain the story through these logs. Thank you for listening.

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welcome to post #3 of All Of Deacon’s Dialogue Ever, Except Not Really. i’m taking a look at the dialogue files & notes from fallout 4. there are a lot so i’m only looking at deacon.

previously: post #1 and post #2.

…it got really long again and i had to break it into another post. this post covers miscellaneous locations, the tradecraft quest, road to freedom, and rocket’s red glare.

Keep reading

I’m here to share my story.

I was 22, and in a relationship.

When I was younger, I thought I had crushes, but I realize now that it was me trying to fit in, to try and be normal for both myself and others. Emotionally, I did not need another person. And I certainly wasn’t comfortable with romantic attention.

In middle school I received a Valentine candy gram. It unsettled me. I couldn’t figure out why. I pretended I never received it.

In high school, I hung out with a clarinet of the opposite gender. Someone accused me of flirting with them, and I had to reevaluate our entire platonic relationship… and me, trying to fit in, immediately thought I should try and grow some feelings. I wrote poetry. I thought about them a lot. I tried to hang out more, but I never revealed any of this to them. And it ruined the friendship from my side. It felt wrong to be friends with them after I tried to force nonexistant romantic feelings. They graduated, and I haven’t really seen or talked to them since. But that happens with old high school friends.

It’s interesting, looking back, and seeing what you thought were random puzzle pieces solve themselves in the context of your identity.

I remember writing an entire blog post in high school about how I believed that “true love” wasn’t a thing. That love was a thing learnt over time. And I told myself that I hadn’t been in a relationship. I hadn’t been with anyone with like emotions long enough to learn to love them.

I remember being frustrated that I didn’t have the emotional connection that my my friends had sometimes. Or that I saw happen in the movies. Or that I read about in books.

I remember wishing I lived in one of the myriad cultures that had arranged marriages. If only there was a matchmaker, I thought. My Tevye father would make sure I married a Perchik, or a Motel Kamzoil. Then I’d have someone, and I could learn to love them, and I’d feel that emotion that everyone else did.

I was terrified of going through life alone.

Still am, but I think once you master most of your adult firsts- driving, banking, taxes, etc- life doesn’t seem like a looming wall of impossibility that requires you to be harnessed to a second climber.

I met someone online when I was 20. We were friends. And it was great being friends with them. We liked most of the same stuff. We talked about everything together. Eventually I started sending them <3′s, as I often do platonically online. But primarily text based conversation… it can be taken the wrong way. And eventually, they asked to be more than friends.

I panicked.

I was afraid, I was truly afraid, but I had no words to explain why. I wouldn’t read the word “aromantic” for almost another year.

But we talked about everything together. So I admitted I was afraid. That I didn’t know why. I attributed a lot of my fear to the relationship being over the internet. They didn’t understand- and they told me so- but they tried to. They were very respectful. They didn’t press, and after a week of initial awkwardness, we were friends again.

Several months later, they asked again. They listened to and tried to sooth all my fears. And I thought okay. They’re my best friend. They’re far away. Maybe this is my chance to learn to love someone. So I said yes.

It was an awkward time. The unexplained fear came back. I didn’t know what to do. Then I saw a post on my dash that mentioned aromanticism. I did a little googling… then more… curious.

I remember the day it clicked. My bae had said they were thinking about flying out to my state to visit me and my family. I acted excited, but as soon as I hung up, I cried. I understood that I was definitely aromantic, but I didn’t know what it meant for me. I didn’t know what would happen now. I didn’t want to hurt my bae- my best friend- tell them I’d been lying all along. I felt trapped and terrified. I understood myself, but what would I do?

I called a friend of mine, and she was a good shoulder to cry on. She suggested I do more research, get all my ducks in a row, and then to tell the other half of my relationship.

When I told them, they had just come out to me about their own identity. So we ended up having a long, very open talk about what happened next. I am blessed to have such a caring friend. They worked hard to understand me, and I them, and we settled into our present relationship- queerplatonic from my end, a little more romantic from theirs. They aren’t shy about how much they love me, but they make certain nothing they do or say is uncomfortable to me. And they are my very best friend.

I’m 23. It’s been a year since I came out.

I don’t know where I am on the spectrum. I should do a little more research. But I am aromantic, and unusually, in a relationship. My heart may not connect romantically, but it does platonically. Deeply.

So here’s some things I’ve learnt. Some advice for aros under (and over) 20.

  • YOU ARE NOT BROKEN. I’m still working on this myself. Your feelings aren’t warped, your heart isn’t missing a set of gears. You still love, but you love in a different way.
  • Don’t fear loneliness. Your closest friends are always there for you, just as you are for them. Platonic and/or queerplatonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones.
  • It’s tough to trying to untangle your identity when the world keeps shoving “you just haven’t met The One” in your face. If identifying as aro completes you, and helps you and others understand your feelings better, defend it.
  • Maybe one day you’ll meet your Platonic or Romantic One. Maybe you won’t. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and identity is fluid. Sometimes you change and sometimes you don’t, but you are VALID.
  • You and your feelings are valid.


anonymous asked:

hey, i was wondering if you have any advice on learning how to... not care so much what other people think of you? okay this is probably several different issues all tangled together, but being able to call co-workers out when they do a bad job and you have to deal with it, or telling your supervisor that they're giving you more work than is fair, that sort of thing. i'm like, acutely aware that this is an issue i have, but i haven't the faintest clue how to start dealing with it.

Anon, this is such a difficult topic and such a difficult situation. I’m assuming you’re a woman, because…let’s be real, most people who are following this blog are probably women, but please don’t be offended in case you aren’t, and you see me discussing women specifically below – this stuff actually does apply across the gender spectrum.

At the root of all of your challenges here is a common underlying factor: confidence.

You want to care less what people think of you, be able to address issues with coworkers, raise problems with managers – all of those are uncomfortable conversations that are only successful if you are able to be confident. That’s one word but it encompasses a world of complications. I think people in professional environments sling around the word “confidence” a lot, encouraging people to be confident, but without ever telling them how to be confident, because while it works as a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation for some, for many people – for me – confidence came over time, and with determined effort and some serious adjustments in thinking.

The first thing, the very first step and also the hardest step for me was training myself to acknowledge my own abilities. This is pernicious and pervasive and goes beyond women shying away from volunteering their own specialization, it leaks into everything we do. 

A really good example of this is when you see someone struggling with a resume or their cover letter – they’ll say, I’ve only ever done admin work, or I’ve only ever worked retail, or I don’t have the full qualifications for this job that I’m considering. We’re trained to undermine and demean the skill sets that we cultivate. You couldn’t have succeeded in admin work unless you were meticulous, thoughtful, sensitive to the needs of the team or the manager you supported, and were able to build successful networks throughout the office to get things done. I know at my office, if our admin were to leave us, we’d all die emaciated garbage monsters. She was out for a health issue for a while, and we collected an entire conference room of broken chairs because every time one of our shitty desk chairs fell apart we’d go swap it with one in the conference room because we are all completely useless without her particular and neurally interlinked knowledge of the entire company. By that same token, someone who has successfully worked retail has incredible endurance, phenomenal people skills, is adept at daily conflict resolution, and must also be detail-oriented, reliable and an independent problem solver. You might not have the full laundry list of specifics a job wants, but hell if hiring managers don’t salivate every time someone’s resume comes and it screams “problem solver.”

So the first step is always to build confidence in your own case. You need to take a good, honest audit of yourself. For a lot of people this can be scary because maybe you’ll realize something terrible – in a professional context, this can oftentimes be really empowering. In the quiet offices of your own head, you do not need to perform any modesty or socially mandated unwillingness to celebrate your own achievements. Be frank about your accomplishments, and beyond looking at them on their face? Look at what they say about you as an employee and as an asset to any organization. Maybe you were a key assist on the publication of a major catalog last season – by itself, it’s good work. When you delve into it, that means you probably juggled freelancers, printers, multiple revisions, dozens of conflicting requests, managed relationships – there are so many skills that go into any job, and you should be proud that you have those. 

(By this same token, don’t be afraid in that audit to recognize your shortcomings. It’s always better that you figure that shit out first and fortify this so that you are always working to be an ever more terrifying professional monster. One of my awful friends once told me that her dream is that one day, she can be in a foreign country and randomly drop my name, and people will scramble to do her favors and then beg her not to mention them to me. That is now my dream, too.)

Make a physical list if you have to, so that you can look at it when you forget, and you can keep adding to it and being amazed by your accomplishments. It’s both professional development – so you have a pre-made list during review times – and a nice reminder on days you can’t chalk up any wins. You’ve done great work already, you have the capacity to do more.

Because the fundamental fact of your office problems is that you have to buy into yourself in order to sell it to anybody else. If you have taken an honest assessment of your work and know it to be good? It’s not that it doesn’t matter what your coworker thinks of you, but at least you won’t be mired in doubt, at least you’ll know any awkwardness, dislike or pettiness is on them, not because of you or any of your failings. And if you’re confident in your work, then you can also confront your coworkers to discuss issues with them – have you noticed that when you go into situations where you know you have the leverage and power, you’re calmer? You can be nicer and more rational about it? It’s only when we’re caught off guard, unprepared, or know that we’ve fucked up that we really get defensive. If you’re confident, you can tackle this, too. 

Even talking to your supervisor! If you’re confident in your case, then you can bring it up to them calmly and thoughtfully. 

Beyond this? There’s some basic stuff – in any interoffice conflict, I also always recommend documentation, since it’s easy for people to brush off a claim but it’s harder to brush off a detailed history of incidents; HR is your enemy, never trust them; not every professional situation is salvageable – sometimes getting the fuck out is the best thing you can do, etc etc. 

But look, the ultimate benefit of altering your thinking this way is the startling, marvelous power you suddenly give yourself. I used to look at the things I wanted and feel this crushing resignation, to know that it would never work out for me, I’d never catch that break. Now? My goals are still terrifying, and they’re still huge, but though I am often humbled by the things I am attempting to accomplish, I look at them and I think to myself, “I will do this, I just have to work at it. I just have to figure it out.” And I can look at my list of skills and know that I can do that – or that if I can’t right now, I can add skills to it until I have all the keys to all the locks.

This thing you’re facing is real and it’s so complicated and tough, Anon. I deeply empathize. But I think you have the capacity already to begin untangling some of those tangled issues you’re noting, and to give yourself a little leverage and a lot of power. 


I’ve sorta had a theory in the back of my mind about the Journal/Tumblr fandom split, aaaand at this point I doubt I’m going to get around to carefully showing my work, so here:

LJ/Dreamwidth: Introvert friendly

Tumblr: Extrovert friendly

And in a way this is the downfall of both sites. If fandom really is considering migrating back to Dreamwidth (you know, the place where we being sold the product, not being sold as the product) or to any other journal sites, we really need to consider adopting the parts of tumblr that make it easy to find and interact with each other.

…more tldr under the cut, but feel free to skip to the lists at the bottom. Please tell me what I’m missing there.

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The Supernatural Non Weeb

I’d like to have this posted anonymously if that’s okay because the girl this is about has tumblr.

Since this blog is now accepting non-weeb stories, I thought I’d share a story about an over-the-top supernatural fan I’ve been unfortunate enough to encounter. (content warning for weed, alcohol, and strong language)

A = me
B = supernatural non-weeb
C = my girlfriend
D = C’s friend

I first met B a little over 2 years ago when I went to visit my best friend C, who went to college in another state and who I was secretly in love with. I didn’t have a car at the time, so the only way for me to get there was to take a Greyhound, which only ran at night and didn’t arrive until 3 AM.

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anonymous asked:

Hey there angel, thankk youuu sooo much for your edits. I LOVE IT. I love your blog. Im your big faaann. Keep going gurl. May I ask a question?Do you think Haise is in love with Touka? Do you think Kaneki was in love with her before his memory loss?

Kaneki. I swing between platonic and romantic feelings from time to time. It’s really difficult, because he has “more important stuff” on his mind. His opinion changed from “a cute girl” to “a scary person”. Touka has a strong urge to protect what she has. She is mean to Kaneki simply because she only wants to protect him. She doesn’t know how else to portray that caused by her given life. Kaneki see this as well, which is why he doesn’t allow her personality to push him away. And he was quite patient with her. He planted kindness and in the end it was high effective. They spent awfully much time together, fought side by side and their relationship changed. Close. And then he got kidnapped, tortured and changed (to the worst you could say). But she was still on his mind, even during these awful days. He felt so sorry, when he saw Touka beaten up by Ayato; he took all the blame on himself. Ayato was lucky to be Touka’s precious little brother, so he made a compromise in “half-killing”. Otherwise his revenge had turned out quite differently, I think. She raised up to an important status similar to Hide and this is why he doesn’t allow her to join his group. It’s his way of protecting her. In a context: “If I want to distance her from the ghoul world, then I need to avoid her as well. I belong to the ghoul world after all.” Touka was the reason, why he decided to come back to Anteiku. From the moment she screamed “Don’t return to Anteiku!”, he was shocked deeply (Touka even caught him off-guarded with her punch). In the end he realized: “When I keep on living like that I will end up destroying myself… at first I need to protect myself. And I might end up losing someone, I actually don’t want to lose.” So he wanted to go back to Anteiku and cooperate with everyone, but he was really scared  about Touka’s reaction. “Is it okay to come back?” That being said, Touka had the biggest panel during “his dream of death”.

Well, there is no watertight proof, I think. Ishida-senei just put a lot parallelism and possible symbolism around them. I tried to collect everything in my conclusion post (on-going project). But our Mangaka really loves to draw them together in pretty obvious poses and gestures. The artbook has so many examples. I had many discussions about their tarot cards and possible interpretations. According to the Fool’s Journey their close relationship was absolute necessary to Kaneki. They need to build up their unbreakable trust. Touka’s tarot card also implies a romantical hint. A friend of mine uses tarot cards for esoteric/occult purposes and I asked her a lot about that stuff. ( ;ω; ) I wish, I could say it clearly, but I need to explain by given informations. Still, I think, Ishida always had a romantic foundation on his mind. “Touka stepping on Kaneki suits him.” - Something he mentioned in the TG artbook, lol. I don’t think, he is just “trolling around”. I assume, he has a thing for them. That’s why I always call him “The Captain Of The SS Touken” and maaaaany people share the same opinion.

Haise. I highly doubt, that Haise is in love with Touka. She is like a stranger to him now. He doesn’t even know her name; he simply call her “that girl” or “that person”. They met twice and they only exchanged a few sentences. You couldn’t even call it a real conversation. But it’s true that he is quite attracted to her since the moment he saw her. He recognized her, but at the same time he didn’t. (TG Chapter 79: We had a parallelism with Toukas reaction here.) This might be a hint that Kaneki had romantical feelings for her and his inner conflict is caused by his subconscious. But we are talking about a simple possibilty. We have no clearly proof yet. At least he is attracted to her as a man, because he thought to himself that someone this beautiful really does exist. It was his personal thoughts after all. During a important meeting, Haise was not attentive, as he reminisced over his experience at :re. So Touka left an a lasting impression on him. On top of that, he came back for a second time. He is very cautious around her, hehe. And he also wondered, if she was on a date during the Christmas time. Christmas in Japan is different; it’s for couples. They have dates, because they think it’s romantic on this day. At least he is interested in her to a certain degree. Somehow it implies that he is curious, if she is available or if she has a dating partner. I think, it’s cute that he still has a thing for her even without memories. I’m curious to see their next meeting. ♥ And he also had a flashback of the cosplaying Touka.

I don’t think, my reply was helpful in the end, huh? 。 ・°( /)ω(\ )°・。 That’s the curse of a Seinen Manga… romance isn’t as idealized and focus more on realism. It tends to be less idealistic and with many greys and uncertainty like real life romance. Anyway thank you really much for being such a adorable fan. (*˙︶˙*)☆*° asdfghjkl; My kokoro melts. Hopefully I didn’t hurt your feelings. I apologize, if I did. It wasn’t my intention. I really love them together, but I can only use given arguments here.

An Update About W3NK (That maybe reblog more than once)

What’s up?

It’s been an amazing incredible epic 2 weeks and I thank you all for it. However… I’m starting to accept things. Real matters. Real items. 

And it’s time to “get real” with myself.

I realize that people have high hopes for me. And I realize that despite my numerous forewarnings, people are treating me like “the” source not “a” source. People expect quality from me. 

And that’s… scary to be honest. I never had to worry about that before Ferguson. However, the majority of you are following me between Ferguson and this #BlackOutDay event. And while 17K+ is still a small number, it’s nothing to sneeze at either.

I worked hard to gain your trust and I have to work even harder to maintain that trust. However, in order to do this, I need to make some much needed (and overdue) changes. So, this will express them.

Since this is a long post, let me get to the points first and the details later.

  • There will be less Indirect Call-Outs.
  • I’m working on my branding. W3NK will be one of them, but not the main one. It will remain a Tumblr blog, it will still have posts. 
  • The W3NK video series will go on, but after 3 specific videos, will be rebranded.
  • #TheBlackOut will have an official tumblr and the team will be using and spreading the information from there.

Details after the jump… (read the details before asking questions, please)

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