okay this is my last one in a while

anonymous asked:

high school byeler headcanons? i love ur headcanons!!! i am bleSSED when they're on my dash

certainly, my dear anonymous friend! sorry this took me a few days, i hope you enjoy :’)

  • mike is the second one in their group to get his driver’s license (lucas is first and he holds it over all of their heads while he can, driving up to the school every morning in his mom’s station wagon like it’s the pinnacle of adult achievement). mike starts picking will up and driving him to school as soon as he is granted permission to drive nancy’s old hand-me-down car. sometimes instead of going straight home after school, mike drives them just to the outskirts of town where there’s a rolling field nestled up against a small, serene lake. they sit on the hood of mike’s parked car and eat french fries from the local fast food joint and go over their trigonometry homework together, competing over who can get the correct answer first (will usually wins this - mike swears sometimes that he’s got a calculator in his brain that can process numbers faster than mike can even finish reading the word problem). when mike drives will home as the sky is streaked with broad strokes of pink and orange and the sun is dipping slowly below the horizon, he always makes it a point to walk will to his front door and say goodnight with a soft, sweet smile that leaves will’s brain turning with thoughts for the rest of the evening.

    when will gets his license a few months later, mike still drives him around (just until you save enough for a car of your own, he says). sometimes he lets will drive his car from the lake in the dusky evenings of early winter and tries not to stare too hard at the adorable look of concentration on will’s face as he navigates the winding roads back into hawkins.

  • when will gets a job, on the days when he can’t borrow joyce’s car because she’s working too, mike drops him off and picks him up (even when will has a late shift and they have school the next day). karen hears mike sneaking in late at night after taking will home on a week night, but she can’t bring herself to get upset with him for it.

    will’s manager at the game & hobby store always makes the same remark when she sees mike’s dark car pull up in the parking lot five minutes before will’s shift is over: your boy is here, she’ll say with a soft smile and a ruffle to will’s hair. and will always ducks his head and blushes but doesn’t correct her. because she never sounds mean about it and something about those words makes will’s heart bloom in his chest - a pleasant heat that sits with him as he turns to the window and waves to mike in his car, wondering if he can see the pink blush that’s sitting on his cheeks from that far away.

  • will and mike skip most of their school dances together and instead play video games in mike’s living room while listening to will’s mixtapes. they don’t talk about the fact that they’ve both turned down dates to be there with one another. they also don’t talk about the way mike sits right beside will on the couch, despite there being plenty of room for them to spread out. or the way will ends up grabbing mike’s hand as this charming man begins spilling from the speakers of mike’s cassette player, and they dance unselfconsciously in the blue glow of the television, all uncoordinated limbs and cautiously brushing hands and breathless laughs blooming from their throats like unfurling spring flowers caressing against apple-red cheeks, lips coming all too close to catching against sharp cheekbones in a way that isn’t so unintentional.

  • will kisses mike for the first time on the night of their graduation from hawkins high. they drive to the lake and play the top 40′s radio station as they lie on the grass, still in their caps and gowns, eyes going spotty from all the camera flashbulbs they’ve stared and smiled into for the past few hours. maybe it’s something about the stars reflecting in mike’s eyes like the echo of entire universes, or maybe it’s the way they’ve been smiling and hugging each other all night, or maybe it’s how mike hasn’t stopped reminding him that it’s only two months until they pack up and move into their campus apartment - together.

    it must be one of those things, will thinks to himself as he leans over and presses his lips against mike’s, one hand intertwining their fingers and the other poised on the sharp of his jaw, shaking just slightly. mike inhales sharply and smiles a little, and then laughs, tickling against will’s lips like a summer breeze cascading through the hushed night air. and will laughs too, pulling back and tucking his head up against mike’s shoulder, feeling the drumming of mike’s heart as they point out their favorite constellations, reaching skyward with entwined fingers and soft voices and secret, earnest smiles.

icy-tiger  asked:

mercury/neptune/pluto/capricorn

mercury: who’s your go-to person when you need to talk?
@how-late-am-i , @rainqueen , you, @sidewomanxix , or @katiezerk
neptune: what was your best dream and why?
Once I had a dream that me and Conn were living together and we danced around the living room while watching Steven universe. That was pretty amazing for obvious reasons.
pluto: what is your biggest aspiration and why?
Overall it’s to have an apartment and be okay and shit like that. One other aspiration of mine is to have one of my works become popular; whether it be one of my plays, or a book I write, or a movie I write.
capricorn: what’s the last book you’ve read?
To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee
Thank you ❤️

I’m crying, my mom just came home to visit, while I was watching one of YOI’s episodes, and she got to the last minute so of course the ending was already playing. I went to the kitchen to get her something to drink, and so I didn’t bother to stop the episode, minutes later I hear her yell from across the room, “okay who’s that handsome boy that appeared just now?”, so I was like “which one, the white hair or black hair boy?”, but she was like “no, no! that blond one with the beautiful green eyes and smile”… AND I WAS LIKE “OHH YOU MEAN CHRIS… WAIT CHRIS??!”…

So yeah it was all coincidence but the first time my mom comes and sees something related to YOI, the first thing she starts to love is freaking Christophe Giacometti, yeah I’m proud.

Alright. Let’s have a civil conversation about this.

See unlike you I don’t need to call you names or disrespect others to make my self feel better. I knew one day that someone would hide behind a screenshot and post on simsecret to post their rude opinion about me. It was inevitable. 

Now I’m not a “fangirl” of hallowsims and yes I do also have a problem with them in my own way. For the fact they had two adfly links, that bothered me. It was a waste of my time but you know what I did? I GOT OVER IT. There was no need for me to work my self up. You want to know why? The content was still free. Now unlike another site I know of giving others content out and you have to pay for it. But they’re so big that no one bats an eye. They steal content and sell it. Yet the original creator is giving it out for free. I’ll probably get hate for this but clearly it needs to be said.  

Here I’ll use Newsea for an example.

Pretty little hair right? Why not have it for males. 

BAM now you have it for males. Let’s just scroll down and downl….

Oh wait. You cant, cause you have to have points??
Now from what I remember you get like what? 1 point maybe 2 everytime you post or comment? Well then, Why not just click on “quick download” 

OH WAIT?? You have to pay for that. 

And you know what people are going to do? They’re going to take the easy way out, They’re going to pay for it. OH BUT THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE NEWSEA GAVE IT OUT FREE RIGHT?? RIGHT?

No. You guy’s got angry at one creator who was just trying to make others happy, just as Maysims is doing. The only difference is Hallowsims was giving things out for free. Yes FREE. Adfly gives you shit all you’re lucky to make $10 a month. Maysims is taking 2 dollars every month so you guys can have a quick download. But that’s fair right? We can let them slide by but not hallow sims. NOPE

Worth It

Summary: reader twisted her ankle and Bucky helps her take care of the injury. One thing leads to another and… well just check the warnings.

A/N: Okay…. So something weird happened last night. I was just doing what I normally do which is look through my drafts and see if I can come up with something for my imagines and stuff which didn’t happen, sadly. Then I just opened a new draft for some reason and just began writing while my mind drifted off to some… things. Basically what I’m trying to tell you here is that I wrote smut.
Yes, I wrote smut and posting it will be my first time posting smut on this blog. I’m feeling kind of anxious about posting this because I don’t know if it’s any good. Either it’s so bad it’s hilarious, cringy or it’s actually something people can enjoy in a non humorous way. I mean I got a little erotically charged (college talk for horny (i love you if you get that reference)) while writing it but I don’t know if other people will. If you want to read it, go ahead and if you feel uncomfortable, don’t.
Feedback is appreciated, especially now since this is my first smut that I’ve posted. You don’t have to go into detail just tell me if it was well written or not, that’s if you want to, of course. I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.
FOR THE PEOPLE I TAGGED!! I have no idea if you guys wanted to be tagged in smut posts too but hey, you don’t have to read it! I don’t expect every person to read every single imagine I post. Just skip this one if you feel like it.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Words: 5,622

Warning(s): SMUT, oral sex (both male and female receiving), cursing, unprotected sex (remember to wrap it before you tap it! Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Don’t be a fool, cover your tool. Wrap your bate before you mate and all that stuff)


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The Limerick Bard's strange fetish

Premise: We were fighting a group of manticores, and were down to the last one. The Haiku Paladin steps up to the plate.

Paladin (Ooc): I use my “Smite Evil” ability and offer the Manticore challenge.

MageGM: Alright. What do you say?

Paladin: Come forth, you foul beast.
              Allow my sword to rend you,
              Guide you into hell.

MageGM: The Manticore has enough understanding of common to know that you’re getting ready to whoop its ass, but takes the chance while you’re talking to pounce with an attack of opportunity.

Paladin (OOC): What the fuck?!

MageGM: Talking isn’t a free action.

Paladin (OOC): Okay that’s fair…

MageGM: The manticore has you grappled and you are pinned to the ground. Roll to break the grapple.

Paladin: *Rolls*

MageGM: Alright. Your sword arm is free.

Paladin (OOC): I drive my sword up under the manticore’s chin. *Rolls* HAH! 20!

MageGM: *while the rest of the table is cheering her on* Nice. You drive your holy sword up under the manticore’s chin, and the aura of godliness emanating from it makes the manticore explode, drenching you in its blood and guts.

Paladin (OOC): I stand up to challenge anyone else that would try to fuck with me today.

MageGM: There are no more enemies, but you look incredibly badass.

Bard: Seeing you so covered in gore,
          Looking much like a god of war…
          And now this bard
          Is very hard.
          It makes me want you all the more.

Barbarian: Nec-tar believes you have problems, musical friend… (OOC) Seriously, though, save the flirting for outside the game.

man it’d been a while since tumblr’s last horrendous, mind-boggling, site-wide glitch, but “i get a different random user’s likes every time i check my or anyone else’s likes” sure is a doozy

i check my likes, i get a bunch of fantastic beasts posts. i refresh, it’s all tiger and bunny yaoi. refresh again, it’s all in german. refresh again, it’s all buff nude furry dudes–okay actually i’m okay with that one

  • Me: Okay,
  • I'm actually going to go to bed at 9. No crying. No binge watching Netflix. No fanfics. No worries, just sleep.
  • Me at 3am: Going through the 5 stages of grief as I'm crying, watching the last season of my favorite show, while reading a fic of it and thinking of my own.
My Fake Boyfriend Part 3

Summary: After receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or accept the help of your hot neighbor and pretend he is your boyfriend.

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1664

Warnings: Angst, fuffly

A/n: Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta. You rock.

PART 1 PART 2 

credits to the gif owner

When you knock on the door all your family, literally all your family is there waiting for you. The first person you see is your oldest brother, he looks older since the last time you saw him and tired as well. 

Then you saw your parents, your father pulls you to a quick hug while your mother keeps you in her arms until she is sure that you are eating enough, drinking enough water and definitely okay in your city.

Your grandmother is the last one, she smiles bright at you and you swear that she doesn’t age. She is wearing a bright red dress and hands you a glass of wine “He is a much better choice than the last one, you did good, honey.” She raises her glass in a sign of approval, you hug her, you missed your family like crazy, but your grandmother was always the one that made that house feels like home, she was always the one who stayed by your side in fights.

Keep reading

since it’s almost christmas and a time for everyone to be happy, and because i recently reached 2.5k, i decided to make another follow forever!! (okay truth is i’ve been wanting to make one for a while but ignore this) this time i have some special mentions to make, because i met some really amazing people here in the last few months! and i know better who my favs are this time lmao (also i can’t seem to get the links and mentions to work for some reason so just know that if im following you, you’re here. just search for your url)

> @khazbrekker > duda i love you so much, you have no idea! you are the most precious angel, my moon and my stars, one of my best friends <3 i love talking to you, i love working with you, i love everything <3 i remembered when we were both going to do enem and you said to me you were wishing i did well and that you would think of me during the test and i was like “who is this person?? how can anyone be so sweet?” and i just adore you so much! talking to you makes my days better love <3

> @vvinterhayle > ju i will never forget the day you came to me with the first idea for the yalitsquad!! for one it was what started the network, which i love so, so much, but more importantly it was the start of our friendship! i love you so much, never forget it <3

> @hxcates​ > vi, somehow it seems we never stop to talk properly (except for that first time, that is), but i really really like you?? you have a special place in my heart, and your blog is amazing darling <3

> @collinslily > pristine!! you are like out of this world amazing! and guess what i’m back to saying that we never got to talk much (we did a little at least) but i feel like we have a connection? somehow? for one i think your blog was like my first inspiration as my blog was starting to take shape and grow to be what it is now, and the first time i saw yours i was like “wow!! so pretty!! what an amazing icon! what perfect everything!” and you had that real great persephone url too that i just loved. you were an instant fave, and so far i haven’t changed my mind.

> @cuipid > teresa you cannot imagine how much i love your blog! whenever someone asks me about a blog that looks great, like theme goals, mobile theme goals, aesthetic goals, i think of yours. and your edits are so perfect i still don’t know how you do it! we never got to talk properly (we started once, but didn’t go on? was it my fault? idk) but i know for a fact that you are this sweet and amazing person and i love and admire you so much <3 keep up the good work darling!

so yeah those are my favorite favorites haha, but i love everyone i follow and i love everyone who follows me, and the rest of the amazing people on my follow forever are waiting bellow! i was going to put them under a read more but tumblr is messing with the links and maybe this way it’ll at least show on the search idk (faves // ♥ loves of my life)

A//C

@aanathemaa // @adampairrsh // @adamparrisih // @adamperrish // @adamruzek // @adamsronan // @adarlan // @adonisbabe // @adriansydney // @adrwminyard // @aeryastark // @aestriea // @ahprodithe // @ajmeskirk // @alarkling // @alekzandermorozova // @alicelongbottom // @aliciavikandar // @alinastavkov // @alliisonreynlds // @aminyard // @amphitrte // @andrreil // @anthracinus // @apolloe // @archerons // @argorns // @artezmis // @astereias // @asteriea // @asthreria // @astraera // @astraliys // @athaenae // @athenva // @atwells // @audreyhornre // @barcnes // @baskervielle // @basteilles // @bb8s // @bellamyblak // @bellamyblake // @bellamygrifffins // @bensolcs // @blcise // @bleuczerny // @bluesartgent // @bluesev // @bluscy // @bluvsargent // @blvesergent // @brekkerrkaz // @brientarth // @buckyfalcon // @callaiope // @calliophies // @cassanabaratheon // @cassiopheias // @cassipeia // @catstrophically // @cevap // @clarkegiffrin // @clarkegrcffin // @clarkegriffisn // @credencebareebone // @cressdernel // @crestadeen // @cystalreeds // @czermys // @cznery

D//H

@daenerystargaryen // @daftorpunk // @daniellewlds // @danwilds // @davienci // @dawncourt // @deanaerys // @devendrabanharts // @dianaei // @doriaelin // @dracomafloy // @dracoumalfoy // @dreamingcourt // @dreamthievves // @drocomalfoy // @drownedpoet // @dudleydursley // @durbanskie // @ecessitate // @elenaggilbert // @eliaamartell // @elzschuylers // @emiliaclarke // @englishsummers // @enjolrahh // @ephelia // @epiione // @eurycide // @evaphinicos// @faeyries // @fahey // @fecitysmoke // @felicitvsmoak // @fleurdealcour // @fleurrdelacours // @flowelleski // @fluerdelis // @foliques // @foxyholidays // @gcldentrios // @gendry // @ghafai // @ginnyeweasley // @ginnys // @gotgifsandmusings // @grangr // @gryffindro // @haermes // @harleuyquinn // @harley-quinn // @harley-quinzel // @havilliard // @hcneyduke // @heartenders // @helenblackthrn // @herhmione // @hermicnes // @hermioneshour // @hestsia // @hiperbole // @horrorshow // @housestyrell // @hvnsolo

I//M

@iangullugher // @illiiad // @illuminosity // @ineedtobeinhogwarts ♥ // @influentials // @invydia // @irnperio // @ivytura // @izzylightwood // @jamiemoriartys // @janeaustten // @jcstcns // @jesperfaehey // @jesperfehay // @jespvrfahey // @joannalannister // @jonsnuw // @jonsonw // @julietcapulaet // @julietcapulct // @kaitegecko // @katefulleir // @kazbrekkre // @kaznej // @kerouc // @kettersdam // @kingrobb // @kingweaslei // @koiveu // @kvnszky // @ladygriffins // @larvati // @leroichevalier // @lexiegrcys // @lilaabard // @lillabard // @lilycolloway // @lindseymorgan // @lionheartis // @lizzieoslens // @lnhcnder // @lochiels // @loranhale // @lorastyrels // @lothiriel // @lukaswahldenbeck // @lukecastellan // @lunalovelight // @lyannas // @lydiastiliskis // @maisiewilliaims // @malfoys // @malikovich // @mallefoys // @marauder-blood ♥ // @margotrobbies // @mariahills // @maruarders // @marystewart // @matsboyd // @matthewdaddrio // @matthiasheilvar // @mavecalore // @mavencalore // @mccallsscott // @mcrgensterns // @medeasheart // @melaniemartienz // @meraudurs // @mermaeid // @mermaidblues // @milleibobbybrown // @milliebobby // @minrd // @minyardt // @mistletoemaeve // @mivyard // @murdockmt // @mythohs

N//R

@nehmesis // @neiijosten // @neiljosteq // @neils-josten // @neptunics // @nevillles // @newtscqmander // @nickyhemmiick // @nightdrowns // @ninazaenik // @ninazenvk // @noahczerny // @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly // @noora-saetre // @noorasaettre // @nuwanda-x ♥ // @nvgma // @nymphdoras // @obereyn // @oberynymeros // @obscuriel // @odairannies // @ofkavinsky // @ohghafas // @ohsanvers // @ohweasley // @ohwnders // @oikenobi // @onvelvet // @oscarwide // @oscarwwilde // @oydssey // @ozeraways // @padfout // @palmetostate // @parvaatipatil // @patroclusgf // @pcrcy // @perfumeliquor // @perksofbeingafanboy // @persrephone // @peterkavniskys // @petuniaevans // @philipssheas // @philukas // @phlikas // @phrongs // @pjpedream // @poedamxron // @poees // @poorquentyn // @pre-gameofthrones // @primriose // @pseyche // @punkodin // @pureblud // @pureblxd // @purseus // @pynch // @quidittch // @racefortheironthrone // @ravcncycle // @ravnclaws // @rcnnanlynch // @reichanbach // @reneeswalkers // @reneewvlkers // @rhvmaresh // @rhysahd // @rhysand // @richadpapen // @richardgansevy // @richardgansvy // @richardpapan​ // @richordgansey // @ronanlyneh // @ryhysand

S//Z

@safonas // @sansalayned // @sansaregina // @sarchengseys // @sargentae // @sargentts // @sebastivns // @seriouslyinlove // @sharoncartre // @silkcupid // @sirenedsea // @sleightherin // @slxofcrows // @slyherin // @sncwflakeblue // @snowflakegansey // @snowfllakes // @snowginny // @snowvflakeluna // @softestlilacs // @softninejs // @softrose // @softsgogh // @solistude // @starkeddard // @starkilerbase // @starksren // @starwar // @stiles-lydia // @stilestlinksi // @stilinskislyds // @stormhund // @strikingneil // @sxofcrows // @tedylupin // @thenortherngirl // @theoceanbvrned // @theravcnboys // @thrandiul // @tpersephone // @tragedys // @troysivan // @trssagray // @tsarist // @turtle-paced // @ulltron // @vanillasweet // @varous // @versaillcs // @vincentvangoqh // @wadamaximoff // @waldcnsheas // @waullywest // @wespers // @westerors // @westfalls // @williamherxndale // @willmorgenstern // @winonaryder // @winterblues // @winterfellsrose // @wldenbecks // @wvlan // @wylanvansunshine // @wylanvnek // @wylenvaneck // @wylanvnek // @zcbini // @zeinik // @zeneiks +blogroll

You're my home/Part 3

Warnings: Reader is a young single mom. Sad conversation(?) and i guess a little (just a little) bit of smut…

Notes: Here it is the 3 part, i hope you like it! Sorry for not posting it Saturday, i had to finish some details that took more time than i imagined. The girl in the gif is Paige from Scorpion, and she’s a waitress but unfortunately, the gif don’t show her uniform. -Sigh- Anyways, i will probably post the requests next week, because i’m having tests in my school. -Sigh-(Again). Wish me luck…

Part 1 Part 2


“She was crazy, man, I’m telling you!” Misha said talking about one fan that went in his photo Op. This was the last day of convention in that city, and in the morning, they would have to travel to another one. Everybody was laughing while they were in Cliff’s car to go to a restaurant. 

“Okay guys, but we still need to decide where we’re going.” Cliff said and immediately, something came up in Jensen’s mind.

“What about that pasta restaurant that (Y/n) also told us about yesterday?” He suggested and everybody, expect for Misha, smirked. “What?” Jensen asked when he saw the clever smile on everyone’s faces. “You’re like fucking teenagers!" 

"Nobody told me this story!” Misha argued and Jensen rolled his eyes, he felt like he was back in college. 

“(Y/N) was this fan that we met yesterday, she has a daughter, and we offered her to stay in the backstage because the little girl was sleepy and grumpy. Jensen was totally crushing on her.” Jared explained making Jensen roll his eyes again.

“Hmmm.” Misha said with a giant smirk making everyone laugh.

“So we’re going to the pasta one?” Cliff asked and they all nodded. This night, only Misha, Cliff, Gen, Jared and Jensen decided to go have dinner outside of the hotel, everybody else was tired and didn’t want to come. 

“Be good to your nonna okay, Tom? I love you.” Gen said in the phone to her little son, who stayed with Gen’s mom for the weekend. “Okay, I will pass it to him.” She said looking at Jared. “He wants to talk to you.” She said giving the phone to her husband.

“Talking about kids, you and Vicky are trying again, right Misha?” Cliff asked to Misha when they got out of the car, entering the cozy restaurant. 

“Yeah… Vicky is pretty excited about having another kid.” He said smiling and Jensen suddenly felt dislocated. This wasn’t the first time he felt this. Everyone talking about their children and well… everyone having someone to make kids with. He was the one who always wanted kids. He usually didn’t fell like this, but when a situation like that happened, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking. He hadn’t had anything serious with someone since his last girlfriend cheated on him. Nothing he wanted to remember. 

“What do you want J?” Jared asked when they all were already in the table, with the menu in their hands. 

“I think I’ll go to with the spaghetti.” He said and Jared nodded calling for a waitress, apparently everyone had already chosen it and he hadn’t even noticed. They talked about random stuff when waited for the food. 

“I will go to the bathroom again.” Gen said seeming a little annoyed while getting up. “I hate this part of pregnancy.” She said and everybody laughed. 

“I’m excited for the next convention, it is going to be really big.” Jared said looking at some fan messages in his phone and all men agreed.

“C'mon, lets take a picture.” Misha said taking his phone out of the pocket. They smiled and Gen arrived seconds later after the photo was taken.

“You won’t believe what just happened!” She said excited and Jensen frowned, she was looking specifically at him. “I was getting out of the bathroom and I found (Y/N)!” She said smiling and Jensen felt his heart beat faster. What the fuck? “Apparently she’s a waitress here.”

“(Y/N) as in ‘the fan Jensen was crushing on’?” Misha asked before Jensen could even open his mouth. 

“In the flesh.” Gen said. “Coincidence? I don’t think so." 

"C'mon guys.” Jensen said with a small laugh seeing his friends open smirks and malicious faces. “She was the one who suggested this place, is it really that surprising that she works here?” He said not really believing his words. 

“Yeah, actually.” Jared said “I will look for her, and maybe, this time, our dumb friend here will have the courage to ask for her number.” Jared continued messing with Jensen, who just rolled his eyes. 

“Oh don’t worry, I already called her.” Gen said smiling. “She said that she needed to finish serving a table and then she would come here to say hi.” She said when the orders arrived. 

They quickly changed the subject, but Jensen started to get anxious. He really wanted to see you again, like, really. He cursed himself the entire day for not getting your number last night. He was single, he had the right to ask a beautiful girl out, didn’t he? Jared noticed how his friend was a little off all day long, and he mentally swore that he would find a way to get in contact with you, for Jensen. But now he wouldn’t need to, you were there! This certainly was not a coincidence. 

“(Y/N)!” Jared said suddenly looking behind Jensen, who slowly turned around and sighed upon seeing you smiling and being hugged by Jared and Cliff. You were in the restaurant uniform, with a high ponytail. Jensen stood up smiling and hesitated for a moment before pulling you in for a hug. 

Of course, you just melted in his arms. You just couldn’t believe you got to see all those guys again, especially Jensen. You were really scared for a second, thinking this could be a dream. This was probably the best thing that ever happened to you. After Lottie. 

“We don’t know each other, but I have already heard a lot about you.” Misha said opening his arms to you, and you started to fangirl again, you didn’t see him yesterday, which was a shame because he was one of your favorite characters. 

“Heard a lot about me…?” You said with a small laugh after separating from him, not really paying much attention to this. You had just hugged the cast again, and Misha Collins for the first time, so you were still a little awed. 

“After all, we came here because of your suggestion.” Jensen said with a smile before his friends could open their big mouths to say that Jensen couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

“And are you guys enjoying it?” You said seeing that they were still eating they orders, smiling when they nodded and started to praise the place. “I’m glad then! Hm…I will let you guys eat, it was a pleasure to see you guys again.” You said waving a goodbye and turning around. Jensen didn’t even see his friends’ faces before getting up and holding your arm to stop you. You turned around a little confused, but felt your heart explode when you saw that it was Jensen. 

“What time does your shift end?” He asked and you raised your eyebrows.

“In an hour and a half.” You answered and he smiled softly. “Why?”

“If you don’t mind, I would like to wait for you, and maybe we can talk for a bit.” He said and your world simply stopped. Wait, what? Jensen Ackles was asking you out? Really? You? 

“Hm… Yeah, I would like that.” You said still a little lost and finding it hard to process what just happened. He smiled like he was relieved and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling too. 

“Great, then I will be in the table waiting for you.” He said and you nodded. He came back to the table, and to his surprise, nobody asked anything or even stopped what they were talking about when he sat again. Good for him.
Dinner ended surprisingly fast, after lots of talking and laughing. The restaurant was practically empty by now, and although Jensen said that they could go rest, Misha decided to stay and wait for you with him. Jared and Gen had to go because Gen was starting to get nauseous, another symptom of pregnancy she hated, and Cliff took them to the hotel.  

“So she has a 3 year old daughter?” Misha asked. When the others left, he wanted to know more about the girl that made his friend finally ask a girl out again. Jensen was a little, hm…how could he put it? Traumatized after his last serious relationship. 

“Yeah, she’s the cutest thing.” Jensen answered with a smile. But before they could continue, you got out of the kitchen, stopping in front of their table. You changed the uniform for your normal clothes, and even though you were just in dark jeans and a blue shirt, Jensen thought you were beautiful.

Cliché? Maybe. Whatever.

“Hey.” Jensen said smiling, getting up. “You’re ready to go?” He asked and you nodded with a smile. 

“Okay guys, i will take an uber to the hotel, you want a ride somewhere?” Misha asked while he unlocked his phone and you twisted your lip. 

“My house is literaly behind the restaurant.” You said already a little scared that Jensen would want to cancel the ‘date’. Every guy that you dated in the past was gone the minute they learned you had a daughter. Okay, Jensen already knew about Lottie, but you couldn’t avoid that feeling. “And I have to go home, because Lottie is staying with my neighbor, and she’s crying… I just have to put her in bed and then we can talk. Is that okay?” You asked a little anxious and Jensen smiled. 

“Definitely.” He said and you sighed, relieved. “Let’s go?” 

“Well, I hope you have fun, my uber arrived.” Misha said waving and heading in a different direction. You and Jensen turned to each other, smiling as he extended his arm to you. You twined you arm with his and started walking away from the restaurant and in the direction of your apartment.

“You didn’t mention that you worked in the restaurant.” Jensen said looking at you with a small smile, and you were trying your best to act normal and ignore the fact that Jensen Ackles was going to your house.

“It didn’t really matter yesterday.” You said struggling and continued. “I mean, I didn’t actually think that you would go to the second restaurant suggestion I gave you.”

“Why wouldn’t I? We loved that sushi one yesterday, and I don’t even like sushi” He said and you opened your mouth in indignation.

“What? Sushi is the best food ever!” You cried opening the door to the little building you lived in. It had just four floors and two apartments each. 

“Oh… I didn’t think it was that close to your house” he said when you entered the lobby.

“I told you.” You said with a smile while clicking the number '2’ in the elevator. "But really, how can you not like sushi?“ You asked and he laughed struggling.

"I guess I don’t like eating things that are alive.” He joked and you giggled rolling your eyes. The elevator stopped in your floor, and he followed you to your neighbor’s door.

“This is just gonna take one second.” You said and he nodded, you knocked on the door and after a few seconds Mrs. Alba appeared, a sweet old woman that took care of Lottie when you couldn’t. Mostly just after seven o'clock, the time she arrived from her work at her flower shop.

“Hey (Y/N)! And…. Well, I’ve never seen you around.” She said with a smile to Jensen, that copied her action.

“I’m Jensen, I’m (Y/N)’s….” He hesitated a second, looking at you and you twisted your lip not knowing what to say. What could you possibly say? He’s my favorite actor? “Friend.”

“Oh, pleasure to meet you.” She said shaking his hand and turning to you. “Lottie is already sleeping, she got tired.”

“Oh….” You said and Jensen noticed how your face fell. He imagined how it must be hard for you, working so hard that you couldn’t even put your 3 year old daughter in bed. 

And he was completely right. 

“Okay, I will get her.” You said entering the house with Jensen behind you.

“You want me to carry her?” He asked when you stopped in front of the sofa she was sleeping in, hugging a teddy bear. 

“No, it’s okay.” You said a little surprised and in love with how sweet he was. “If you can hold my purse…”

He immediately took it out of your arm, watching you gently lifting Lottie and putting her in your arms, her head on your shoulder. 

“Thank you so much, good night Mrs. Alba” You said and after a “no problem, good night.”, you got out of her apartment. 

“Make yourself at home, I will just put Lottie in her room.” You said when you entered your apartment, disappearing into a corridor. He put your purse in the sofa and looked around. It wasn’t big, but it was wide and cozy. It was a nice place to live. After a few minutes you came back without Lottie and you smiled at each other.

“She’s okay?” He asked pointing at the corridor and you nodded entering your open kitchen.

“Yeah, she’s a heavy sleeper. Lucky me.” You said with a little laugh and he laughed too. “Wine?” You asked lifting a bottle.

“Course.” You put the wine in two glasses, extending one to him, and you two went to sit on your balcony. You two started to talk about everything and anything, and after a while, he seemed like an old friend and not your favorite actor, who by fate’s weird ways was in your house on a Saturday night. He told you so many things about his life, his career, his fears, cravings, and well…

“I really though she was the one. All my friends were getting married… Hell, Genevieve was already pregnant. I wanted that, you know?” He said talking his last girlfriend and you nodded. “I wanted a family with her, and she just… Cheated. Except from the long distance, nothing was wrong in our relationship."  

"But shouldn’t you be relieved for not having started a family with her? Imagine how hard it would’ve been going through a break up with kids, how hard it would’ve been if you were married.” You said and he gave a small relieved laugh.

“Yeah, I always think about this. I was blind with…. I think it was pure lust. I was in a rush, because all my friends were starting their families and I wasn’t. I was in love with the idea, not with her.” He said seriously. “She wasn’t a good person. I thank god for not having proposed.”

“You did right Jensen.” You said squeezing his hand, which was already too close of yours. “I made this mistake once.” You said referring to the fact that you had Lottie with a despicable man. “And I learned that this stuff… No matter how old you are, just do it with someone you are one hundred percent sure you want to spend the rest of your life with, someone you know won’t let you down.” You said and your looks connected and this time, he was the one who squeezed your hand.

“You didn’t talk about that part of your life, and I understand if you don’t want to. I don’t know what happened, but I just wanted to tell you… You’re fucking amazing.” He said so intensely that you didn’t doubt his words for even a second. “You didn’t have any support, and raised a kid at the age of nineteen.” He said what you had already told him and you opened a shy smile, making him smile more. “You’re amazing.” He repeated, this time in a lower voice, and suddenly your faces were just inches apart. His hand was on your cheek, and the glasses of wine were left forgotten in the little table. 

You took a deep breath before he gently pulled your face and glued your lips together. The kiss started slow and you were just… Exploring each other. But after minutes, with no warning, the kiss started to grow hotter, and before you knew it you were sitting on his lap, your hands on his scruff. His large hands were squeezing your thighs, and his teeth bitting your lower lip. You could feel the bulge in his pants brushing in your center and when his right hand entered your shirt and squeezed your breast, you couldn’t help the moan. He started to kiss your neck and you began to do circular movements with your hips, making him moan. He was about to lift your shirt when you suddenly backed away with a concentrated face. 

He frowned and you looked at him and sighed, leaving him more confused than ever.

“Three…” You started. “Two…”

“Mommy!” A little voice screamed somewhere inside the house, and you two gave a small laugh with the interruption. 

“I didn’t listen to anything!” He said a little surprised and you struggled, giving him one last chaste kiss before getting up.

“It’s my job listen to her steps.” You said smiling before entering the house. He smiled when he thought about what had just happened, but frowned when he looked at the sky and saw the…sun? He quickly got his phone and saw that it was already five in the morning. Fuck. His flight was at 8.

He entered the apartment, seeing Lottie lying on the sofa watching a cartoon and you in the kitchen with a baby bottle in your hands. 

“(Y/N), I didn’t realize it was already morning, my flight leaves in a few hours…” Jensen said to you and you gave him a yellow smile.

“Yeah, of course.” You said putting the bottle in the sink and going in the direction of the door. 

“I wish I could stay for a few more days.” He said, a little guilty that he was leaving that way. You told him about the lame excuses the guys gave you to leave because of your daughter. He surely wasn’t doing that. But he knew you were thinking that about him. “(Y/N)…”

“Thank you for tonight, Jensen. I had a lot of fun.” You said opening the door, not even looking at his face. He sighed and squeezed your hand. 

“Me too. I have your number now, I will call you.” He said stepping out of your apartment, remembering a moment in the night when you got each other’s number. “I mean it.” And for the first time in a long time, he really meant it. You weren’t just a one night stand for him. He didn’t want you to be just a one night stand.

You smiled, still not believing his words. Could he blame you? This was what always happened to you. For god’s sake, he was a millionaire actor, of course he wouldn’t be different. You were the fan of the night. 

At least you thought so.

“Take care.” And with that, you closed the door. And for a weird and undeniably cliche reason, he went to the hotel with his heart small and the thought that he really didn’t want to leave your small and cozy apartment. He really didn’t want to leave you.

Part 4??


Tagging: @nightmaresarentforever @zuzannaantczak-mishacollins @fangirl1802 @brokenwinchesterr @flawsweirdo @mrstheorossix3 @atc74 @erza-shadow-michealis @graceisanocean @if-i-was-heard @sharingan-rasengan-chidori @yui-miyuka @infiniteweirdness @bunnyrabbit888 @imaginesofdreams @supernatural-jackles @laurenw1025 @sammylovesgabriel1967 @samanthasmileys @fab-notfat @inmysparetime0 @rattyretro-blog-blog @nikolanna @smoothdogsgirl @fernandasvaldi @gabriels-trix @fantasticstarfishwhispers @fav-fan-fic

Aries: I’m sorry. I am so sorry. This doesn’t just hurt you, believe me. These scars run deep. This town will forever be tattooed with our memories. But you will be okay. You’ll survive. And so will I. This pain will not last forever.

Taurus: Your best friend misses you ya know. The one you promises never to walk away from? Well they miss you like crazy. And it hurts. Your new life is shiny and pretty while the past is ugly and scarred. I know, but will you really leave it all behind?

Gemini: Your advice and your voice means more than what you think. It’s valid and reasonable. Find your voice again, you can do it. Learn that self sensorship only leaves you more alone and more isolated.

Cancer: pain ends. I know it doesn’t feel like it does but it does. Pain eventually ends and the veil of misery will eventually lift. I promise. This is not eternal as much as it feels like it would be.

Leo:  take a minute and just breathe. Lay underneath the stars and just breathe. Because the continual anxiety and panic is going to drown out the voice and sanity inside you.

Virgo: You’re enough. You are enough. You will always be enough. Learn to have faith in who you are so that you don’t always have to look outwards to find the approval you crave.

Libra: It hurts. I know it hurts. But sometimes things have to end and you have to do the right thing, as hard as that thing is. Sometimes closing the last chapter hurts more than all he others together.

Scorpio: Come to terms with your past. The demons in your nightmares can’t hurt you, and the ghosts in closet aren’t trying to kill you anymore.

Sagittarius: You physically came back, but really? We all know you aren’t you anymore. But I suppose neither are we. Our panic and anxiety is too fast, depression too large. I get it. But we all need time to accept you’re not who left.

Capricorn : What are you running from? What has you so scared that you’re hiding under covers and in corners hoping not to be seen? To me, you will always be the scariest thing in the room.

Aquarius: heal. Let yourself heal. I know you feel like you’re trapped and you can’t spread your wings, but you can. You have to learn how to heal in a place that isn’t good for healing.

Pisces: Why? Look back at your past and think ‘why’ because that’s what everyone else wants to know. No one else can understand why you did what you did and the only person who can give us reasons is you. So why?

—  This week’s zodiac

God that finale was so emotional. Felt a lot while watching it. Such a great to go out.

I just realized this is going to be the last time I ever watch a brand new Regular Show. Really going to miss this show a lot.

JG Quintel you have really inspired me with this show and I thank you so much.

Still going to be one of my favorite shows ever. 

Love Through the Hate

pairing: lams

modern middle/high school AU

request: anon: Please Make more fanfics. If you need inspiration I will freestyle for you. Okay It would be a Lams. John Laurens dad would hurt John because he’s gay. Alex will comfort him. Good Luck I don’t mean to be needy but, It has been a while since you made a fanfic and I am happy with all your new followers (You deserve them) Yeah so have a nice day.

word count: 2015

warnings: homophobia, hitting, does it count as physical abuse? if someone getting hit triggers you please don’t read

a/n: well i’ve been not productive about this blog lately. whoops. IF HOMOPHOBIA OR A FATHER HITTING HIS SON BECAUSE OF HATE IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU DO NOT READ. please, take care of yourself first.

masterlist

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“John, how come you never have me over at your house? Like, for dinner or whatever?”

John fidgets in his seat, picks at a loose thread on his sleeve, drums his fingers on the table, leans back and looks at the clock, does everything he can to avoid answering Alex’s question.

“John.”


John stares down at his lunch tray.

Alex sighs. “Why won’t you answer my question?”


John looks his boyfriend straight in the eyes. “Many reasons.”

John’s six and asks what the word “gay” means, having heard it at school. His father explodes on a long rant about homosexuality and his hatred of it. John just sits there, feeling uneasy but not wanting to walk out, not wanting his father’s wrath to be turned on him.

John’s eight and he and his parents are at a clothing store, shopping for new jeans for him. Two men walk past, holding hands, and his father voices a very loud complaint about that. He says a word that John tries to forget, but it feels like it’s been branded into his brain forever.

John’s ten and he should be getting crushes on girls, should be finding other girls pretty, but instead, he finds himself admiring the other boys in his gym class, thinking that boy who sits next to him is really cute. He’s supposed to be able to tell his father about everything. But he can’t breathe a word about this. He knows what his dad will say, what his dad will do to him. At least, he’s heard his dad talking about what he’d do to gay people. He’s terrified.

John’s twelve and on the day that the Supreme Court rules that same-sex marriage is going to be legal in all fifty states, he wants to cheer, wants to scream his happiness to the whole world. His dad sits shocked in front of the TV and growls hateful things under his breath at the screen, at the endless flashing pictures of gay and lesbian couples celebrating their victory.

John’s thirteen and he’s checking out the guys instead of the girls and he realizes that he’s gay. He wants to cry when he figures it out. He doesn’t want to change, he just doesn’t want his dad to hurt him.

John’s fourteen and a new guy comes to school. One look, and he’s gone, fallen, but he’s held back by the fear that his father has implemented in him. He gets to be friends with the guy, eventually, and comes out to him. The guy is bi and they start dating and John’s in heaven. He tells the guy everything except any mention of his dad. He’s worried as to how the guy will react.

Alex notices that John is close to crying, with the memories washing over him. “Oh, no, sweetie, don’t cry, please,” he says quietly, hesitantly taking John’s hand in his. “What’s wrong?”

“The reason…” John swallows. “My dad. That’s the reason. He’s–he’s homophobic.”

Alex digests this information.

“It can’t be that bad, can it?” he wonders. John violently shakes his head, and the first few tears escape his eyes.

“It is that bad, Alex, it is…it’s so, so bad.”

“C’mon, surely he’d be fine with just meeting me. You don’t even have to tell him we’re dating.”

John shakes his head again. “No, Alex, you don’t understand! I love you and there’s nothing more that I want than to introduce you to my family. But he hates any mention of gay people, it’s really bad, like, he’s said that he will kill gay people if he has the chance and I’m…I’m scared, I don’t wanna get hurt and I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he finishes, breaking down fully in silent tears.

Alex lets his boyfriend cry, rubbing his back, and he doesn’t bring it up for a month.

John kind of hopes that Alex will drop it, but Alexander Hamilton doesn’t give up easily, if ever.

Alex brings it up at lunch again. “Today, after school, could I come over for dinner to meet your parents?”


John sighs. “We’ve been over this, Alex.”


“Can’t I just meet them? We don’t have to say we’re dating. You can introduce me as your friend. Please?”

I’m gonna regret this.

Alex is doing his puppy dog eyes that John can’t resist. John tries to argue with him for a couple minutes, but Alex wins, and they both text their parents to inform them of the plans.

Nerves are building in John’s stomach for the rest of the day after lunch. Alex meets him outside the front doors after school with a simple “hey” and John feels like he’s going to cry because he doesn’t want Alex to get hurt and it be his fault because he didn’t fight harder.

They’re a block away from John’s house when John abruptly stops.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, backtracking.

“I don’t think we should do this.”

“Why not?” Alex asks, and John’s words stick in his throat, all of his good arguments dying before they live.

Alex pulls him off to the side of the sidewalk, tilts his head back, and kisses him, deep and long and full, and John’s gasping for breath when he pulls away. All thoughts have been blanked out of his mind, all he can think about is Alex.

“No, wait, do that again,” John pleads, reaching for Alex, and even though they’ve got somewhere to be, even though there are other people walking past, Alex kisses him again, and they both forget about everything.

It’s been a good fifteen minutes by the time the pair finally starts walking in the direction of John’s house again.

Before they go inside, John stares at his reflection, trying to get rid of the blushing, just-made-out-with-my-boyfriend look. He fixes his hair and takes several deep breaths while Alex does the same.

“Ready?” Alex asks.

“No.”


John opens the door anyway.

“Hello, boys,” his mother says, smiling down at them. “You are…?”

“Alexander Hamilton, but you can call me Alex, ma’am,” Alex says, sticking his hand out for Mrs. Laurens to shake. She looks surprised for a second, then laughs.

“No need for such stiff formalities,” she tells him, and Alex nods.

“Come on in. You can hang out in John’s room until dinner is ready,” she adds, and Alex and John step inside.

They go to John’s room and sit on his bed and John is kind of embarrassed because, well, they’re on a bed, and the door is closed and locked, but he can’t even kiss Alex for fear of his father.

So they play games on their phones for what seems like forever, competing against each other, laughing at the failures and celebrating the triumphs.

“Boys! Food!”

“Your mom gets it,” Alex mutters as he picks himself up from where he’s sprawled across John’s comforter. John tries not to stare at Alex’s long, lanky figure. He smiles in agreement as the nerves take over again.

Dinner is stiff and awkward. Mr. and Mrs. Laurens keep up a jerky flow of conversation that skips and stutters. John is trying not to give anything away, but he’s so anxious that it’s not working very well. Alex desperately wants to hold John’s hand but can’t.

“So, why are you here? What is your relation to John?” Mr. Laurens asks, turning to Alex. “What was your name again?”

“Alexander Hamilton, sir,” Alex says, sensing that Mr. Laurens wants the stiff formalities that Mrs. Laurens disregarded.

“And…?”

“I’m his b-best friend, sir,” Alex says, stuttering a little on the b. John’s eyes widen in fear that he tries to hide, really not wanting Alex to say boyfriend.

Mr. Laurens stares at Alex. “Alright. Are you sure there’s not something more? You two seem awfully comfortable around each other. You positive you’re not a–”


John stands up.

“What is it, son,” Mr. Laurens asks, sneering.

“Don’t say that word,” John states, his voice trembling. “Do you even know the history of it? Why people say it?”

“I didn’t say anything!” his father protests.

“Oh, you’ve said it plenty of times before,” John snaps back, fire in his veins, fury coursing through him because he has had enough.

“Why are you defending that? Those people are–”


“Because I’m one of them.”


Dead silence.

Mrs. Laurens looks at John and nods, once, signifying that she’s okay with him and that he can go to her if needed.

Alex can’t just sit there. He stands up. “I’m bi. And I’m dating John.”

Mr. Laurens looks like his eyes are about to bulge out of his skull.

He lunges for his son.

What happens next is a blur.

John drops to the ground and tries to hide under the table, Mr. Laurens swings a fist at him, Mrs. Laurens shouts for her husband to stop, Alex stands there, frozen and speechless for once in his life. He created this disaster, and he thinks he might cry.

“Henry! STOP!” Mrs. Laurens screams, and in the sudden quiet that follows, the dull thud that Mr. Laurens’s fist makes as it hits John’s arm is very clear.

Alex can’t breathe.

Mrs. Laurens pulls Mr. Laurens into the kitchen and a shouting match begins.

John crawls out from under the table and stands up. He winces when Alex puts a hand on his arm, and Alex can already see a bruise beginning to form. Alex wants to cry, but John starts to cry first, and Alex pulls his boyfriend close and lets him rest his head on his shoulder. John cries into the fabric of Alex’s shirt, muttering something that Alex can’t hear properly, a mix of swear words and furious ramblings and scared sentence fragments.

“I’m so sorry, John, so sorry,” Alex says over and over, and at some point he starts crying too.

“I…” John hiccups. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to John’s forehead. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”


Mrs. Laurens comes out of the kitchen. “He’ll leave in half an hour. I’m sticking with you, baby boy.”

John smiles gratefully at his mother but doesn’t move from where he’s cuddled up to Alex. “Thanks, Mom, I didn’t…I knew that would happen. That’s why I didn’t wanna tell him…”

Guilt washes over Alex for about the thousandth time. “I’m so sorry,” he says.

John waves his hand. “He was gonna find out eventually. A secret that big…you can’t keep it for your whole life, which was the other option.”

“And it’s nice to finally meet you,” Mrs. Laurens says. “Be good to John, okay?”

Alex nods. His throat feels like it’s constricting.

“Take him upstairs and help him calm down. Take a shower or something, baby, okay?” she advises.

“Yes, Mom,” John says. He turns to his boyfriend. “C’mon.”

“I feel so bad,” Alex confesses when they’re in John’s room, and he starts crying a bit again. “I made you do that and you got hurt and I will never forgive myself and I’m sorry I don’t think that expresses how regretful I am and I feel horrible I’m so sorry–”

John shuts him up with a kiss.

It’s hesitant and chaste at first, but then Alex deepens the kiss and they fall onto John’s bed, still kissing. John’s oddly cold, and he breaks the kiss to burrow under the blankets. Alex joins him after texting his mom and telling her that he’s spending the night at John’s. It’s a Friday, so that’s okay.

“We’re gonna be okay,” John says directly into Alex’s ear, and Alex repeats it, and both of them say that until they kiss again once more.

“I love you,” they then repeat. Alex brushes his lips over John’s forehead. The other boy is sleepy and soon succumbs to sleep.

Alex watches John fall asleep, and he only sleeps when his eyes close from exhaustion. He watches over him. He doesn’t want anything else to happen.

They love each other even through the hate they face from John’s dad.

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likes are appreciated, reblogs are WONDERFUL, comments make my day

Tips on Coming Out as Asexual

Okay, so I recently had someone ask me for tips on coming out as asexual.  However I wanted to keep them anonymous, so I answered them privately.  So I’m going to share my five tips with you here!  Hope you enjoy!  I have a lot of fun coming up with these, especially the last one!

~Mod Elise

Five Ways to Come Out as Asexual

1) The Joke: This one is using a joke to lightly introduce the topic.  For example, while at dinner, mention how this food you’re eating is better than sex.  That can open the door to further discussion on other things better than sex and basically how most things are better than sex for you.

2) The Blunt Approach: With this one you bluntly bring up asexuality.  Just ask them, “So, have you heard about asexuality?”  When they inevitably answer, “Isn’t that something to do with plants?”  You can then proceed to educate them and tell them how you are asexual.

3) The “Oh I just read this article!” Approach: You don’t have to actually read for this one.  Just bring up in casual conversation that you “Just read about this study where most Millenials would prefer to have a nice dinner rather than sex.”  You can gauge their reaction from there and proceed as necessary.

4) The Super Blunt Approach: When you’re with your partner, and you’re snuggled up on the couch together watching a movie… wait for a quiet moment and just say, “So I’m asexual.  What about you?”

5) Passive Aggressive Hint Dropping: For this one, use the word “ace” as much as possible.  Make jokes about how everything is better than sex.  Let your partner know how much you love dragons and wish you had one.  Tell them the only thing getting nailed at your house is that new bookshelf that you have to put together.  Tell them that you take “Netflix & Chill” literally.

Texts From Last Night Sentence Starters

“Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen?”
“That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we’re drinking tonight in celebration!”
“Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate.”
“Okay I’m officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots.”
“I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I’m very well-rounded.”
“Did you happen to find my bra? I’m pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar…”
“We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she’s the one.”
“So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.”
“I cannot handle Xanax… I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube.”
“I don’t need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios.”
“It was great.  Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!”
“Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.”
“He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can’t hold that against me.”
“Should I get the rainbow boxer briefs?”
“As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can’t handle.”
“Yeah, I mean I’ll probably fuck him regardless but I’m trying to be a lady about it.”
“I swear to god, if you have sex in my bed one more time you’re gonna start paying rent!”
“Reminder- he’s a douche bag. A big one.”
“He took shrooms and didn’t want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn’t want to break.”
“We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.”
“I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar…”
“I feel like you’re the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society.”
“No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.”
“When I’m drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.”
“We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk two blocks and get into our backyard?”
“He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that?”