okay suuuuure

Batfam Reno

I feel like Cassandra would be really big on HGTV. It’d always be on at her apartment, and she slowly starts incorporating like little designs and pieces to everyone’s homes.
But she REALLY likes renovation. It is her thing. She loves demolishing things (with her overalls and big goggles and Bruce has to turn his head and cough-laugh into his handkerchief because she looks so cute).
And soon enough she buys a totally trashed house in Gotham (beautiful architecture but has seen better years) and now EVERYONE is part of the project. Dick just needs the promise that he can fix the roof and he’s sold. Jason and Cassandra favorite destruction, throwing each other into walls and ripping out floors. Tim likes to install outlets and fix the pipes, with his own set of nerdy goggles (and Bruce has to leave the room, because all his kids have goggles on due to Alfred’s insistence and it’s adorable). Damian has a toolbox and is weirdly good at carpentry. They once left to grab lunch and came back to a pristine set of shelves (and Dick dropped the food bags in shock and was freaking out, “Do you see how level they are?? Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, look. Look. Look at what your youngest made. Bruce.”)
And Bruce visited and was like “this is great, yeah, dust and dirt, fun” and was going to leave until Cassandra attaches herself to his leg (she’s like 5'4? everyone’s like “okay suuuuure Cass” but it’s a BIG maybe) and demands in a growl-y way that he stay because it is a “family project.” And Bruce can’t get the words out, he’s choking on laughter and trying to shake her off his leg but the little monkey girl is holding on tight and Tim has bolted the door so all he can do is nod while trying to subtly wipe the laughter-induced tears from his eyes.
Of course his amusement turns to adrenaline VERY quickly when Dick and Jason install a “Sliver Slide” which is basically wood planks on the stairs while they take a nosedive. And of course Jason falls through the stairs and ends up in the dark basement and they all look down at the gaping hole in concern and Jason calls out “The good Lord has spared me once again, hallelujah!” and the siblings respond with a resounding “Hallelujah!” and Bruce is panicked and glaring at Tim and Damian with a “don’t you even think about it” look while Dick and Cassandra crawl down the hole to investigate.
In the end, Bruce ends up taking care of the basement and bans the others due to their “inadvertent destructive nature.” He sighs very loud and acts very put-upon but he loves the work.
And when they’re in the final stages Stephanie and Barbara are invited and Barbara immediately takes over the garden and is like “hyacinths.” And Dick’s like “sunflowers!” and she’s like “shut up Dick no, hyacinths. Go work on the roof, this is my job” and spends the entire day in the garden getting soil on her hands and ends up sunburnt so Dick gets her a ginormous sun hat with a yellow ribbon. And she looks so cute, with a red nose and freckles but her eyes crinkle with silly happiness and she smells like soil and flowers and when Jason bothers her one too many times she dumps a full watering can of water on him and they both laugh.
Meanwhile Stephanie is inside on the VERY IMPORTANT task of painting and interior decorating. She has like a gazillion paint swatches and pins like eight of vastly different shades on the wall because Cass can’t decide and the boys are no help. And Steph and Tim get in rousing arguments about the color blue (nobody understands, something about cerulean vs cobalt and how “it’s not a dAMN BACHELOR PAD TIM” and he screams back that cerulean is a beach color suitable for the Caribbean “but WE’RE IN GOTHAM CITY IF YOU HADN’T NOTICED” and it gets worse and worse and they get louder and louder until they start swiping paint on each other and then everyone joins in and it’s WAR.
After a while Bruce hears thumping sounds and comes up the stairs to see the group of young adults and one child completely covered in paint. Damian’s nose is forest green. Stephanie’s hair is a sticky rainbow. Tim’s complete face is a offending cerulean and there are Dick’s body outlines on the walls. Jason has built a fort and Cass has stolen all the supplies and hides behind their barricade with a smirk, waving the merchandise. The others complain and don’t notice Bruce until there’s a click and they whirl around to see him snapping pictures. Stephanie shrieks and tries to fix her hair and Tim goes to take the camera “you’re not doing it right, oh my gawd look at how you’re holding it you monster” but Bruce just catches him up by the collar and Tim dangles there and Bruce laughs and takes pictures with one hand while Cassandra models with a roller, splotches of red on her hair and cheeks.
In the end they stand outside the finished product and look at their beautiful house renovation. And everyone sighs as the “FOR SALE” sign is slammed into place, happy but a little sad too.
Until Cass shows up at Bruce’s office in overalls with a house address and is like “guess what I bought?”