okay so this turned out terrible but the idea was good

ARIES: I heard that somebody with icicles in their chest once told you that spring was only for people that know how to be wanted but they were lying. Hardly anybody takes care of honesty the way that you do and somehow that’s still a surprise. Take the weight of your insecurities and lay them to rest underneath a gravestone. When wildflowers grow from what you buried don’t bother to pick them. They’ll always be there. Don’t you know what it’s like to come back to things? 

TAURUS: The peach pit on your dresser has been sitting there for years and it’s okay that you can’t throw it out yet. Okay that you can’t put it back into the fruit and unbite all of the soft and the sweet and the “maybe this time it’ll be different” that leaked out onto your fingers on the nights that your teeth feel too used to be desired. Wash your sheets and dry them outside. Lay underneath the clothes line and listen. Unclench your fists. Rewrite the grocery list.

GEMINI: It isn’t your fault that not everyone can swallow the parts of you that have sharp edges. You’ve been spending too much time forcing yourself down the linen aisle when you should be finding the nearest comic book store. There’s a reason superman is nicknamed “man of steel” and you deserve all of the iron-throated hearts that you can find. Invest in a metal detector. Don’t be ashamed of what you find.

CANCER: The way you bare your chest to the world is terribly brave and I don’t want you to continue feeling responsible for the people you’ve kissed that have taken advantage of that. Skin-deep damage does not make you unlovable, it gives you new perspectives. Don’t apologize for the ways you have tried to survive this. You’re better than the fires you’ve walked through and the storms you’ve caused. Suck on a peppermint until it loses its flavor. Name the taste after your last heartbreak. Now spit it out.

LEO: Your chest caves in whenever you think about the past and nobody’s ever told you that everything is temporary. Well, honey, I have some news for you. Start checking the mailbox again before the neighbors start to worry. People still want to stain paper with your name and martyring yourself over words is something you’ve become too talented at. Take a break, now and again. Burn the television set if that’s what it takes. Air out the smoke and look into a mirror, admire how powerful you seem as you step out of the haze of what’s gone.

VIRGO: Oh, baby, you’ve made mistakes and you’ve drained the bottles but you’re not the only one who’s felt like this. I know that it’s hard to let yourself feel these things but you have to try, you have to let the light in. It’s so dark in the room you’ve been using to store your regrets and your pallor has become a reflection of the ghosts you’ve been taking orders from. You were made for the sun. Let it kiss you without repercussion. Allow yourself to kiss it back.

LIBRA: So maybe you dropped too many pennies down the wishing well and now your wallet is nothing more than negative space. So maybe you forgot who gave you that good advice that one time and you’re still beating yourself up over it. Go ahead, admit to your faults. Set a place for them at the table and scold them for being late. Eat their portion and kick them out. Being familiar with every side to your geometric personality is not something to be ashamed of. Remember the angles, and keep moving. People like you are not meant to stand still.

SCORPIO: I think that your ears were made for listening to things that break. The shattering of a vase. The cracking of a heart. Does it ever get exhausting to be so awfully aware of how things sound when they forget to function? Nobody expects you to take every smashed hope and piece it together on your own. You are not a bottle of glue no matter how much you feel disaster sticks to you. I promise. You don’t have to carry that toolbox around, anymore. It looks heavy. Set it down.

SAGITTARIUS: You have your father’s mouth and consequently have dreams where you’re ripping it from your face. Somebody told you once that you were inadequate and now there’s a bruise on your ego and you can’t seem to stop touching it. Why are you so obsessed with how long it takes to heal? Why are you so afraid of letting people see you cry? Take off your armor and let your skin breathe. There’s still time to be okay with the idea of loss. You’re not too late. You’re not too late.

CAPRICORN: Stop using the word pathetic whenever anybody asks you to describe yourself. The people that hold you accountable for the abuse you’ve endured are the ones that turn away whenever they see it. You don’t need them, you never did. Can you feel that prickling sensation running up your arms? It’s tomorrow knocking and it wants to show you something beautiful. Let it. You’ve handled tragedy, surely you can handle tenderness.

AQUARIUS: You’ve been fucked over so many times it’s hard not to see yourself as a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Dark red bedsheets and rusty doorknobs and a lampshade that hasn’t been touched in a decade or two, this is where you lie and try to erase the memories from your naked body. You don’t want to belong to anybody almost as much as you don’t want people to believe they’ve changed you. They haven’t, you know that right? No matter how many people hike up mount everest it’s still a mountain. It’s still bigger than what’s stepping on it. It still keeps its name.

PISCES: You’ve become so good at sacrificing yourself for the possibility of something worthwhile that your body looks more like an altar than an assortment of bones. If this is your church I hope that your god looks like your nine year old face whenever somebody asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. I hope your prayer sounds like an exhale and that your choir sings in harmony and that every donation tastes like honey. Don’t forget to bow your head every once in a while. Remind yourself of your feet. Of how fast you’re able to run.

—  APRIL HOROSCOPES, 2/30, Caitlin Conlon
100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

anonymous asked:

I'm going through a real rough patch and if you want to write something cheerful you have no idea how grateful I'd be.

Flash sidled up to Superman on one of the Watchtower’s mezzanines, leaning against a rail. They looked at each other sidelong, then away.

“Wanna hear my new time?” Flash asked sideways, swaying as he alternated which foot held his weight, hands on his hips.

“There’s no way you beat my time,” Superman muttered, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were in the other direction, and both men went silent as the Lanterns walked too close. Superman and Flash gave them a nod of acknowledgment, then waited for them to be at a safe distance.

“Nine seconds.”

“What!” Superman dropped his arms, whipped his head around to where Flash was grinning and bouncing on his heels. “No way.”

Flat,” Flash said.

“There’s no way.”

“Check my heartbeat if you don’t believe me,” Flash said, tapping his insignia with his thumb. Then he frowned. “Actually, don’t, I’m pretty excited about this so my pulse is probably crazy.”

His heart always sounded like an angry hummingbird trapped between his lungs, but Barry was also a notoriously terrible liar, so it wasn’t as relevant as it could have been.

Dangit,” Superman said, crossing his arms again. He leaned back to scope out the area around them. No one seemed to be paying them much mind. “What time?”

“Eleven on a Saturday,” Flash said, looking even more smug. “You know I don’t mess around.”

“Tch!” Superman made an irritated sound, licking his canines. Then he snapped his fingers. “You forgot about–”

“Nnnope,” Flash interrupted. “I’m including the new ones in that, that’s the whole reason we had to reset our times, otherwise I’d still be at seven-point-four.”

Tch.” Superman drummed his fingers against his bicep. “Nine seconds,” he repeated, torn between irritation and awe.

“You know what that means,” Flash said, waggling his eyebrows.

Superman sighed. “Alright, where are we going?”

“I want soup.”

“Uh-huh.” Superman waited. Flash was waiting for him to ask. Superman was not going to give him the satisfaction.

“… in Saigon.”

“You’ve been watching Bourdain again,” Superman accused.

“It looked like really good soup!” Flash said, defensive.

“Fine,” Superman said, “but I am going to beat your time, and when I do–”

“Beat what, now?” Wonder Woman asked, having managed to approach them while they were distracted by negotiations.

“Nothing!” Flash and Superman said at once.

“We were just talking,” Superman said.

“About stuff,” Flash added unnecessarily. “Private, personal, man stuff.”

Wonder Woman’s eyebrows shot up. She was close enough for her lariat to hum on her hip. She looked Flash over. Flash started to turn red.

“Okay bye!” Flash said, and he was gone in a streak of red.

“Superman?” Wonder Woman asked.

“I should, uh. Hal…”

He wasn’t actually making any definitive statements, just stringing words together, and yet somehow it still managed to ring false. She watched him go, putting her hands on her hips.

She could practically sense it when Batman came up beside her, even quiet as he was.

“Do you want to know what they were talking about.”

“Do you know?” she wondered. He said nothing, so she turned to look at his face. It was as expressionless as ever, but she got the impression that he did not consider the question worthy of dignifying with a response.

He was Batman. He would never be so rude as to say ‘of course’ – but of course he knew.

“I wouldn’t want to invade his privacy,” Wonder Woman said cautiously.

“He’d tell you if you really asked,” Batman said. “They just like feeling like they have a special thing.”

“Oh.”

“Flash, especially.”

“I see.” She tapped on her lower lip as she watched Superman talk to one of the Green Lanterns. “So what’s the special thing?”

“Pick me up in the plane on Saturday and I can show you.”

She froze. Slowly, she turned to look at him. As always, being able to see him helped not at all. “Like a date?” she asked.

The corner of his mouth twitched. “More like a stakeout.”

“That could be like a date.” She was mostly saying it to tease him. Sometimes if she did it right, he turned pink and had to find a shadow to hide in.

“It’s usually not.”

“Why not?”

“I’m usually with the kids.”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean–”

“It’s fine.”

She put her hand out to rest on his shoulder. “I would never imply–”

“I know.”

She took her hand back. “I’ll behave,” she assured him.

“You don’t have to,” he said, and she grinned.

“I’ll pick you up at ten,” she said, and she gave him an exaggerated wink as she walked away.

“It’s a date,” he murmured.


Why,” Wonder Woman asked, “are we in Florida?”

Batman was sitting beside her, and the plane was in a low hover. “Because as far as anyone can tell, this is the single biggest and busiest Walmart in the world.”

“I don’t think that explains as much as you think it does,” she said.

Batman held up a phone. A clock took up most of the screen. 10:59. “Watch,” he said, and he pointed out to the parking lot, vast and terrifying and teeming with people. She watched, and she had no idea how she was supposed to see anything in the crowd.

Finally, she spotted it. The motion too quick to be anything mortal. Would anyone on the ground notice anything more than a strong breeze?

“Oh! It’s the–” She snapped her fingers, couldn’t remember the word.

“Carts,” Batman supplied.

“Yes!”

In almost no time at all, every cart in the parking lot had been returned to one of the designated corrals. Batman pointed to something that he must have been using technology in his mask to see, because otherwise his eyes should not have been good enough. Wonder Woman was much better equipped to see Superman, standing beneath a tree and checking a stopwatch and scowling. He did some kind of motion with his arms and one leg that suggested he’d have thrown his hat to the ground, if he’d been wearing one.

“They introduced new carts,” Batman explained. “They don’t fit with the other ones, so it slows them down. Ruined their whole system.”

“They had a system?” she asked, giggling.

“No, here,” he said, tapping her arm to point again. “This is the best part. He’s frustrated.”

That’s the best part?”

“Watch what he does.”

She watched. Superman was gone again, more impossible-to-follow motion through the crowd. Things were moving. Large things.

“He’s fixing the cars!” she said, clapping her hands together.

“He’s fixing bad parking jobs,” Batman confirmed. “Because he’s mad.” There was a brief crooked curve to his mouth.

“He moved that one to a different space!”

“Illegally parked in a handicapped spot.”

“How fun.” Wonder Woman watched the people wandering through the lot, wondered how many of them had noticed what was happening and how many had disregarded it as nothing worth noticing. “Flash is the winner of this contest, then?”

“Consistently.”

“Is there a prize?”

“Clark buys him lunch. Usually somewhere he saw on a food show, since he can’t normally do that.”

“Why not?”

“Hm?”

“Barry can run anywhere, can’t he?” she asked. “I see no reason he couldn’t run to these places on his own.”

“He doesn’t like being alone in foreign countries,” Batman explained. “It makes him anxious.”

“Oh.” She returned her gaze to the parking lot. “How nice, then, that it all works out.” She frowned. “Is this weird?” she asked. “Spying on our friends like this.”

“I don’t think I’m the right person to ask.”

“Do you do this often?” she wondered. “Watch people have fun without you?”

“Define 'often’.”

Wonder Woman held up a finger in warning. “Zatanna taught me a trick.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“She says that if you ask me to define the parameters, it means the answer is bad.”

Before he could respond, there was a thump.

Superman was standing on the nose of the invisible jet.

He tapped a knuckle on the glass, until Diana opened the hatch. “Hello!” she said cheerfully.

“What are you two doing here?” Clark asked.

“We’re on a date!” Diana said.

“We’re not on a date,” Batman said.

“If you’re not on a date, can you give me a ride?”

“You’re out of our way,” Batman said.

“Nah, just drop me off in Gotham,” Clark said, slipping inside the plane, awkwardly floating between the two front seats into the back.

“You don’t even need a ride,” Bruce said, having to fit himself as far as possible into the edge of his seat so that Clark would have room to get by. “You can fly.”

“Yeah, and you can walk, but I don’t see you giving up the Batmobile.” Clark made himself comfortable in the back seat as Diana closed up the plane. “I’m craving Dimitri’s.”

“You’re too sober for Dimitri’s,” Bruce said.

“I’m always sober. You’re lucky I can tell this wasn’t a real date, or I would be really creeped out by the whole spying on me thing.”

“Don’t tell Barry we know about your special thing,” Diana said, pulling the plane out of its hover to ascend. “I don’t want to ruin it for him.”

“I won’t,” Clark assured her. “Hey, you know where we should go while we’re here?”

“No,” said Bruce.

“Where?” asked Diana.

“No,” said Bruce.

“Disney World!”

“No.”

Diana gasped.

“No.”

Clark put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “You can’t have come all the way to Florida just to see me,” he coaxed.

“I’m banned from Walmart, strongly discouraged from visiting Disney parks, and my parents are dead. I have no other reason to visit Florida.”

This is for @uncannycookie since I asked if they wanted anything and they requested something about Mob going with Teruki to get his ears pierced, so here it is!

But then I also found I wanted to do the entire scene and I didn’t have time to draw it all so… I wrote fanfiction for the first time in my entire life. Writing is very much not my forte so I hope I didn’t make too many mistakes. I just thought it was a cute fluffy scene. Ummm, I hope you like it! *screaming over writing*


“You didn’t have to come you know,” Teruki said as he opened the door, a bell gently chiming above them. “It’s going to be fairly quick to get done.” He held the door open for Mob before shutting it behind them, leaving behind a crisp Autumn day and becoming encased in the warm, dark interior of the shop.

Keep reading

In which I get a wife in my first session of a campaign

Context: So I made a new character for this campaign, and she is a very punchy fighter by the name of Mae Gjallarfjall. And her trouble is “Punch first, ask questions later.” I joined one or two sessions late, so I have no context for this campaign other than “Magitech is a thing that exists and can do things.” I am a crewhand on a ship traveling across the sea.

DM: All of you hear the crashing of wood as a cannonball tears through a bit of your ship’s hull. You then hear the captain yell “PIRATES OFF THE PORT BOW!” What do you do?

Me (OOC): I run over to the captain and tell him to get me in punching distance.

DM (as captain): Wait what?

Me: Get. Me. In. Punching. Distance!

Wizard: *grabs me by the shoulder* Hold on. *rolls Magic to teleport*

DM to me and Wizard: You two end up on top of the pirate ship’s mast, a good sixty feet above the deck. The ship is also flying above the water. Below you see six pirates that do not seem to know you are here. What do?

Me (OOC): Well, my trouble is “Punch first, ask questions later,” so I’m going to roll Fitness to sprint down the mast and activate Fist of Havoc.

DM: Alright, roll.

Me: *rolls +2 on Fitness and 18 damage on Fist of Havoc*

DM: You kill two of the pirates instantly and send the other four back a ways staring at you in shock and fear.

Me (OOC): I want to roll Persuasion to convince them that fighting me is a terrible idea.

DM: Um… okay, roll for it.

Me: *rolls +2 on Persuasion*

DM: You succeed on two of the pirates. Pirates 1 and 2 sheathe their weapons and take a step back. Pirates 3 and 4 are not convinced.

Everyone else takes their turns.

DM to me: Alright, so Pirate 3 has been smacked by [Paladin], and Pirate 4 tried to attack but accidentally lost grip on his sword and is floundering to pick it up. The pirate captain has come up from her quarters and yells “What the hell is going on on my ship‽”

Me (OOC): I run over to her and punch her right in the face. *rolls +3 to hit and another +3 for damage*

DM: Wow. So you run over and deck her right in the schnoz and she staggers back a bit. In retaliation, she shoots you. *rolls +2 and deals 3 points of damage after armor*

Me: Bitch!

Engineer: *busts out from under the ship and yells* “ABANDON SHIP OR BURN IN HELL!”

Me (OOC): *rolls neutral on Fitness and jumps overboard, rolls again for Hero Landing™ and gets +2* Wait, where’s pirate captain lady?

DM: That’s a good question. *rolls dice* She says goodbye to her crew and ship and jumps overboard.

Me (OOC): I roll Initiative to see where she’ll land, and Fitness to catch her.

DM: Go for it?

Me: *rolls +1 Initiative and crit Fitness*

DM: Holy shit, give yourself a fate chip and let me paint you this word picture. [Engineer] sprints out from the engine room and yells to get off. Both of you dive off and land on your ship. [Paladin] jumps off and lands on his horse, and then Pirate Lady jumps off after you guys. You look up and hold out your arms and catch her bridal style so comfortably that she swoons and blushes profusely at you.

Me: I apologize if your fall from heaven hurt. *rolls persuasion and gets +3*

DM: She is so overcome by her emotions that she is now profusely in love with you and wants to marry you.

Me (OOC): I say yes and marry my new pirate bride.

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

{PART 29} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; After a much needed rest, you wake up to find that your world - as a Vampire, is still filled with the same love from Jungkook as it was when you were human. Decisions must be made - but you know that you’ll never have to walk alone.

“Without her, his mind became an empty vessel; filled with crippling emptiness and sorrow. But with her, his days would be forever filled with endless love and possibilities. For that; was the power of her love.

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time) 

{Part 1} //{Part 28} {Part 29} {Final Chapter: Part 30}

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Nursemaid

(Jimin’s crush comes over to his house to help him out after he suffers an injury that leaves him with limited use of both hands.)

Warnings: 6000+ words of smut, Jimin POV, I’ll let you guess what kind of smut takes place


“I can’t believe you managed to injure both of your hands on the same day.” Hoseok’s girlfriend, Sophie, stifled a laugh while she said it. “I can’t tell if you are dumb or just unlucky.”

 Jimin sighed.  He had been stupid and drunk when he and Jungkook went out into the street to play with fireworks.  One went off too close to his hand, burning his right palm requiring a trip to the emergency room where his injury was cleaned and bandaged.  The doctor gave him a lecture about drunk people and explosives and how fortunate he was not to have blasted off his fingers.            

While exiting the hospital, Jimin immediately tripped over the curb and landed with his full weight onto his left hand resulting in a small fracture and return trip to the emergency room to get a splint to immobilize his other hand.   Now, every time Jimin saw someone, he had to suffer the embarrassment of explaining what happened. People had a hard time not laughing when they heard how he managed to get hurt twice in one day.

 “Does it hurt much?” you asked him.

“Not really. As long as I don’t bump into anything or use my fingers too much, it’s okay.” At least you seemed to be genuinely concerned about his well-being. That’s one of the reasons Jimin liked you, you always seemed caring and sincere.  The other main reason he liked you was because he thought you were incredibly hot.  There were plenty of nights Jimin stayed up fantasizing about what it would feel like to be with you.  He wanted to ask you out, but had been waiting until there was some indication that you were even the slightest bit interested in him.  He was starting to think that maybe he had a chance with you, but he felt neutered with his injuries, unable to do things like casually touch you and see how you would respond to his advances.  Jimin resolved to make a move as soon as he had full use of his hands again.

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inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”

“Okay…?”

Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

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Writing is Hard, pt 9: Sexting

Summary: You send Dean some dirty pictures.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Warning: Smut, taking pictures during sex

Word Count: 2600ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


You hold up the phone, then almost instantly put it down.

This is stupid.

No. This isn’t stupid. This will be hot. Just do it.

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I DIDN’T HAVE TIME FOR “CLASSY”

Originally posted by magiccastles

Summary: You’re the student body president. Your boyfriend is the school’s notorious bad boy and an underground performer. There’s no way the two of you do anything sexual… right?

Warnings: language, fingering, penetration (idk man it’s smut and it’s not as wild as some I’ve written)

Word Count: 2133


“You’re watching me perform tonight, right baby?” Jaebum asked, snaking his arms around your waist as his chest pressed against your back.

He placed a small kiss on the back of your neck then one behind your ear. You leaned back against him, temporarily stopping what you were doing.

“Help me finish taping this poster up and I’ll consider it,” you replied.

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No Strings

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jimin

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 3,019

Summary: It started off as such a simple question. How do you find out if you’re bad in bed? Of course when you asked, you didn’t imagine Jimin would actually want to answer. 

Originally posted by syuubd

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CONCEPT TIME:

what about a thing where coran, pidge, and hunk take the tech from keith’s BoM suit and reengineer it to make like. a simulator thing where someone can go in and they’ll face either their deepest fears or their deepest desires (or both) depending on the settings. so allura decides to have the paladins go into the simulator and face their fears, in an attempt to make them get over whatever they’re afraid of so that it’s less likely to cause problems in battle. they draw straws to see who has to go first and lance draws the short straw so he’s sent into the sim, with the rest of the team watching. his first couple of fears aren’t too bad, lance deals with them okay, but then. the whole team appears and he’s being told that he’s ‘not good enough to be a paladin, lance. you can’t fight, you’re a terrible pilot, and you’re insanely annoying. we’ve all agreed that voltron would be better off with another blue paladin’. the actual paladins are watching him essentially have a panic attack and trying to get allura to turn the sim off but she’s. ruthless lmao. he eventually gets through that one, after a good five minutes of lance begging and crying and trying to convince the team that he’ll do better, and then it’s on to lance in a galra base, obviously on an important mission, and totally botching it. his mistake causes him to have to watch his teammates die, one by one, and then the scene changes and it’s not only his teammates but his family too. and lance totally breaks down. he’s on the floor sobbing and screaming, and the team can see him tugging on his hair and digging his nails into his skin, drawing blood and everything. hunk has to practically drag him out of the room to the medbay. he refuses to be put in the pod, not so much verbally as just struggling against it, so they have to patch him up manually. he doesn’t move from his bed in the medbay for two days. he doesn’t speak for three. and even after that, he seems to look right through everyone for weeks

okay, so we all know this quote that floats around tumblr:

“Making Ronan Lynch smile felt as charged as making a bargain with Cabeswater. These were not forces to play with.”

but do you REMEMBER what adam did to make ronan smile?? because i sure as heck didn’t until i started re-reading the raven king.

the gang is taking freshly manifested orphan girl to cabeswater to live with aurora lynch, and the whole scene is quite magical… with ronan protectively carrying orphan girl through cabeswater like she’s his family, orphan girl manifesting a song from cabeswater to brighten ronan’s mood like he’s her family, and gansey turning falling leaves into little fish that tease blue for him – and cabeswater literally nudges adam and tells him, “happiness,” and he is like, “nah, i’m good,” so cabeswater is like, “no seriously HAPPINESS,” and adam relents and decides to put out some intention of his own, and what decides to manifest?? RONAN LYNCH’S MUSIC. gansey and blue are all, “ronan you douchebag stop it!!” but ronan looks at adam like ??, and adam’s mouth does like 20% of a smile, and ronan breaks out into his “reserved for his sweet and precious lovable matthew lynch” smile. for adam. because adam’s idea of happiness is drowning in ronan lynch and his terrible music and his poor soul hardly even knows it yet oh my GOODNESS

Talks Machina Highlights: Episode 94
  • Denise message: “MY WORDS ARE A SPELL I’M CASTING ON YOU ALL”
  • Everybody will be in next week’s ep for the continuation of Liam’s one-shot!
  • If Pike had been in the Nine Hells, Percy probably would’ve signed the contract secretly as opposed to up-front. She’s the only one who can actually evoke shame in them at this point.
  • Taliesin was planning the entire time to scry on Scanlan and has been trying to make an excuse to steal the Scrying Eye for weeks.
  • Pike’s moment with the earring, talking to Scanlan, was 100% improv.
  • Laura suspects Sam wouldn’t have been able to pull off Scanlan’s departure if Pike had been there. As it was, after the show went on break, Sam felt so bad that he ran over and gave a hug to everyone. If he’d made Pike cry, according to Laura: “he’d be UNFORGIVABLE.”
  • Taliesin semi-bullshitted the Grey Hunt stuff and Matt rolled with it. Taliesin gave him a ride to the airport the next day and they talked about how much they enjoyed how it worked out.
  • Laura points out that she’s the type of gamer who reloaded the game 20 times in ME3 to try to find a way to get a resolution that would be good for everyone when one didn’t exist, and she had that same sense of frustration when she got home after the game. She was really upset over the resolution of the Grey Hunt, but is feeling a bit better knowing it at least wasn’t failure.
  • Ashley and Travis both briefly thought the Grey Hunt was gonna be a weird proposal. Taliesin: “I feel like in our friends group the proposals have been getting more and more ridiculous. That would be the meta-continuation.”
  • Taliesin points out that Percy has a problem with abandonment and the whole thing with Scanlan is hitting his “really serious anger management issues.” Percy was hoping to get Vex’s vague permission/help over the Scanlan thing, and when it wasn’t forthcoming, he changed his plans to be less extreme. Percy’s also dealing with guilt over not feeling useful in the underwater fight, and is displacing that as anger over Scanlan not being there to mitigate that issue.
  • Pike’s got a lot of lingering resentment over Scanlan leaving.
  • Vex would’ve approached the Hunt differently if she’d known more about the creature ahead of time. Everyone decides that it probably killed a lot of small, cute woodland creatures when it threw the tree at Vex.
  • Percy’s most angry about Scanlan leaving the group and abandoning his responsibilities. Everyone else has to deal with the horrible shit going on, but he’s the one who gets to fall apart.
  • Ashley was disappointed not to be in the Hells—she was wondering if she might’ve had a permanent shift in her personality as a result of staying there. Ashley really struggled with playing Pike as a good character early in the home game.
  • Vex was at 10 HP at the end of the Hunt. Taliesin didn’t think there was a real chance of death there, because Matt’s great at building tests that are terribly difficult but not fatal, but was more worried that she was gonna fail. Laura: “God, I would’ve felt like a loser!”
  • Ashley and Laura have both kept themselves from watching the scene that was just Taliesin and Sam and Matt in the room.
  • The idea of leaving with Scanlan crossed Ashley’s mind when she watched the episode, but it’s tough to tell what would’ve happened if she’d been there, because so much of the show is in-the-moment.
  • Vex thinks of Whitestone as home, more than Greyskull.
  • Pike feels some guilt over Scanlan’s departure because of the pranking. “I never thought he would be mad at something like that, of all people.” Percy didn’t feel bad about it, because that’s not where Scanlan’s anger really came from. Pike still feels bad, knowing that.
  • Poor Brian has food poisoning and had to run off-set midway through the show. Ashley jumps in to take over. “Okay, Laura and Ashley. Uh. Me.”
  • Taliesin says Percy and Cassandra don’t really talk about personal things—she probably doesn’t know about Vex, although she suspects. They love each other and all, but they’re not a very warm family. “It’s cold and we live in a castle, for god’s sake.” Laura sums it up: “Cassandra is no Vax.” Percy and Cassandra weren’t super close as kids. “She was a brat.”
  • Brian judges Ashley for not coming up with a funnier excuse for his running off-screen.
  • Vex and Vax have been growing into their own people over the past few months, but Laura doesn’t know how Vex will deal with being in Whitestone without having Vax around, without the comfort of knowing the person she loves most is nearby.
  • Percy has come up with contingency plans for if the other party members go rogue. Brian: “Tell me about it.” Taliesin: “No. They’re in the room.”
  • Vex has an affinity for nature, and while she’s growing accustomed to Whitestone, she’s more comfortable not being around people, because it lets her keep from putting on an act.
  • Before Pike died, her hair was black (with a purple streak), and after she died, her hair turned white.
  • Ashley gets asked about Pike’s parents and grandparents, and there is a story there, but she refuses to answer in case it comes up in the game.
  • Someone asks about Percy breaking his "honesty streak.” Taliesin: “It’s not an honesty streak, it’s just a period of not being caught lying.” Laura: “People think [Percy]’s much better than he is.” 
  • Blurbs on the back of Tary’s book. Percy: “A fascinating addition to the Audubon chronicles of Emon.” Vex: “Don’t believe the lies.” Pike: “I enjoyed the artwork in particular. Great read, but the artwork is fantastic. By the late and great artist, Doty(e), someone whom we used to know.”

Talks Machine in the Dark:

  • If Pike had a companion along the lines of Trinket, it would be a baby snow owl.
  • Taliesin wants fanart of Strawberry Shortcake-esque little animal pets for all of them.
  • Taliesin hasn’t thought about what Grog’s title would entail. “Now that you’ve said it, I’m having thoughts, and they’re all ridiculous and a little mean.”
  • Favorite spells outside their class: all agree that Chromatic Spray is cool. Taliesin misses using Prestidigitation. Brian: “I don’t have that spell because I can’t pronounce it.”
  • Percy smells like sandalwood and gunpowder.
  • After a long debate over which character would win in a Survivor AU, they eventually decide everyone would survive and they’d all do just fine together.
  • Ashley and Laura have matching compass tattoos, along with two more of their friends—they each have a direction.
  • High-school superlatives. Pike: “Best legs.” Percy would have a series along the lines of “President of chess club, president of yearbook club. Most likely to help make the yearbook.” 
Undiscovered

Undiscovered by evansrogerskitten

Dean x Reader x Sam

Sam, Dean, and Reader seek shelter in a storm, and find solace in each other.

Warnings: Inspired by Season 12, Episode 9, but no specific spoilers. EXPLICIT SMUT. Threesome (NO WINCEST), Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Fingering, Dirty talk, Language, Alcohol.

Word Count: 4068 | On AO3

This was inspired by an idea from my Over 30 sisters & my impulsive purchase of a J2 Sandwich photo opp for Seacon in April. Ahhh! I’m freakin out! :) Enjoy! 

Our boots crunched on the wet leaves as we moved quickly through the forest. The overcast sky and misting rain didn’t help since we were already cold in thin, gray jumpsuits. I shivered as I followed close behind Dean, Sam behind us with the stolen gun.

Suddenly we reached a clearing and I could see the outline of a small building. As we approached Sam and I kept lookout, and Dean went up to jimmy the door of the cabin. After looking inside a window, he stepped back and kicked the door in. Sam and I followed him inside, looking quickly behind us before barricading the cabin with a heavy dresser.

The cabin was dark inside with half of the windows boarded up, and the hodgepodge of furniture collected like dusty landmines. The earthy scent of rain and old firewood smoke filled the air. We spread out around the one room, searching boxes and crates. Sam banged open a rusty metal filing cabinet on the far wall, and laughed shortly as he saw what was inside.

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I love their friendship so much and I’m disappointed in myself for not drawing something for them yet.

Lance is down with the flu and feeling extremely homesick; Hunk is the World’s Best  Friend and does his best to take care of him :’)

Long version under the cut:

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anonymous asked:

Super important prompt: what was the boy squad doing leading up to Isak's insta post.

This is super important, which is why I have bumped it up on the list. Okay here we go. 

“This is a terrible idea” Mahdi states as the boys walk around the corner to kaffebrenneriet. 

“What the fuck?” Magnus screeches “this is a great idea. Trust us man.”

They all pull a chair out and sit at a table outside near one of the windows to the cafe. 

Isak licks his lips before nodding “Mahdi was right. This is a terrible idea.” 

Jonas laughs and shakes his head “oh come on don’t act like my ideas have never worked before.” 

“yeah but this time it’s half Magnus’s idea” 

“EXACTLY!” Mahdi exclaims already getting up from his chair. 

“Mahdi sit down” Jonas orders, trying desperately to calm the squad down. “it’s gonna work.” 

Mahdi reluctantly sits back in the chair with his shoulders slumped as he chews on his lip anxiously. 

“So which one is she?” Magnus asks grinning. 

“shhhh can you try to be less obvious?” 

Isak and Jonas raise their eyebrows at each other because they both knew the answer was no and that Mahdi was head over heels. 

“Is it her?” Jonas asked, nodding at a brunette clearing a table next to them. 

Mahdi shook his head. 

“What about him?” Magnus asked pointing straight at a guy taking someones order. 

“Nei Magnus” 

Jonas and Isak laughed 

“What I can’t remember if you said it was a girl or not. and he’s hot right Isak?” 

Isak leant back in his chair with a smug smile painted across his face. “nah not my type.” 

“You’re so whipped man.” Jonas shook his head grinning proudly at his best friend. 

Isak shrugged, smiling. 

“oh wait is it her?” Isak asked as he spotted a blonde girl. 

“oh my god you guys are awful at this.” 

“she’s pretty though.” Jonas said. 

“yeah hot!” Magnus agreed. 

Isak squinted his eyes and angled his head like he was looking at an abstract painting he just couldn’t get. 

“I think i’m too gay for this.” 

The boys roared with laughter, the warmth of the joke making Mahdi finally relax a little. 

Suddenly a short girl with glasses, wearing an army jacket under her apron, and her purple hair tied up in a bun on the top of her head walked out with a tray of coffees. 

“that’s her” Mahdi mumbled. 

“what?” Magnus asked confused 

Mahdi’s eyes nearly fell out when he stared at Magnus trying to convey what he meant “that’s heeerrr” he said between his teeth. 

“ahhh” the boys sang together. Mahdi rolled his eyes at how long it took them. 

Isak smiled “She’s cool.” 

“And cute” Jonas agreed. 

Mahdi smiled “yeah we met at a save the planet meeting” 

they all stared at him. 

“What? I care about the environment!” 

“Sure you do…” Jonas smirked and rolled his eyes “just like Even cared so much about kossegruppa.” 

Isak ignored him “anyway what’s the plan then?” 

Jonas and Magnus looked at each other in silence. 

“Hello? Plan?” Mahdi pressed, getting anxious. 

“ugh well…” Magnus began 

“This is as far as we got.” Jonas finished. 

Mahdi facepalmed “you have got to be kidding me.” 

“it’s not our fault! We were planning on Even being here to you know, take over…” Magnus said. 

“Yeah where the hell is he anyway?” Jonas asked Isak. 

Isak grinned cockily “i’m making him study for his math exam.” 

“Making him?” Mahdi asked

“How the hell could you-” 

the moment Isak’s cheeks turned pink the boys chuckled as Jonas waved his hand in the air, shaking his question away. “nope nevermind, I don’t want to know.” 

“Okay” Isak said, clapping his hands ready to take over. “this is what we’re going to do.” 

“Quick does anyone have any asprin?” Jonas interjected. 

Isak glared “that’s not my only move jackass.” 

“How about you go up to her and tell her-” 

“No Magnus” the boys said simultaneously. 

“Okay, Mahdi, you go and order us coffee.” 

Mahdi stared at him.

Isak stared back

Mahdi raised his eyebrows. “That’s it?” 

Isak smiled “that’s all there is to it.” 

Mahdi groaned, “I can’t believe i’m doing this” before standing up. 

Jonas clapped as Magnus cheered and Isak threw his head back laughing. 

“you all suck” Mahdi said before walking in to the cafe. 

“so how do you think he’s gonna do?” Jonas asked as soon as he walked inside. 

“terrible.” 

“he’s probably gonna pass out before he gets to the counter.” 

Jonas shook his head “you guys are horrible friends.” 

“hey it took me and Vilde like months to get together! How long did it take Evak?” he asked Isak. 

Isak thought about it. “well, we nearly kissed 3 weeks after we met…actually kissed a week after that but then we weren’t official until…like what a month? or actually maybe-

“We get it. It was complicated.” Jonas interrupted. Isak replied by sticking his tongue out at him. 

“real mature.” 

“so yeah it’s realistic for us to assume he will bomb out the first few times. It’s just how it is.” Magnus said wisely, shrugging at his insightful knowledge. 

Finally after ten minutes Mahdi walked out with a plate of Waffles. 

“So how did it go? Isak asked, just as Mahdi shoved half a waffle in his mouth. 

“Oh! Good. We’re going out on friday.” he mumbled through the mouthful of waffle. 

Magnus’s chin nearly hit the ground “you got…you got a date?” 

Mahdi nodded confused “wasn’t that the plan?” 

Isak grinned “nice one Mahdi.” 

Jonas high-fived him. 

Magnus was still in shock. “but…but….it’s supposed to- you were meant to- what about bombing out?” 

the boys laughed. 

“oh and she gave me free waffles!” Mahdi said proudly, staring at the plate with heart eyes. 

“she’s definitely a keeper.”  Isak nodded in approval. 

“see Mahdi you should appreciate us. Look, our plan work.” 

“your plan sucked” he replied. 

Isak nodded “yeah it did.” 

Jonas rolled his eyes. “Shut up and lets take a photo to commemorate this moment.” 

the boys all huddled together. Jonas struggled with his phone “do i…do I stand here, or should it.”

Magnus pointed at the screen, “maybe if you flip it” 

“but then we won’t be able to see what we look like” Isak stated. 

“Will someone just press the button?” Mahdi said. 

“I think i’m pressing” 

“wait you’re pressing?” 

“Yeah i’m not sure but - oh shit it’s taking photos” 

“it’s taking photos?” 

“oh fuck it was on burst mode.” 

the boys looked through the photos together. 

“Yeah that looks about right.” Isak said 

the boys agreed in unison. 

“Who wants to go get pizza? I promised Even if he studied for his math exam I would bring him home some.” 

The boys all stared at him in surprise.

“What?” Isak asked. “What the fuck did you think I meant?” 

Mahdi shook his head “nothing.” 

“oh yeah nothing I totally thought you meant bribing him with food” Jonas said as they all began walking off. 

“What?’ Magnus asked finally catching on to the conversation 

“OH I thought you meant sex.” he shouted, earning a punch in the arm from Isak.