okay so i've been sitting there wondering if i should post it or not so i'll just... post

A meeting of the Sans
  • sans1 has just created the room
  • sans2 has joined the room
  • sans1: hey sans.
  • sans2: hi sans.
  • sans1: any change over in your timeline?
  • sans2: eh. not really. the kid keeps botching his genocide run.
  • sans1: they still haven't given up on that, have they?
  • sans2: in a way. they always stop at my bro, thank god. speaking of, how is he on your end? you got a pacifist run, right?
  • sans1: yeah. he's studying for his permit. undyne is teaching him the ropes.
  • sans2: niiiiiice. what caught on fire this time?
  • sans3 has joined the room
  • sans1: nothing, but they did manage to destroy an old warehouse the other day. we've been told we're saving the city millions by letting them practice in destruction zones.
  • sans3: hey sans and sans. talking about papyrus?
  • sans1: hey, sans. yeah, post-pacifist and learning to drive from undyne.
  • sans3: nice. what caught on fire this time?
  • sans1: nothing.
  • sans3: really?
  • sans2: i know, i'm so proud of him.
  • sans3: hey sans. still on botched genocide?
  • sans2: yeah. hope the kid gives up soon, it's giving me a heart attack every time they approach papyrus.
  • sans3: yeah... god i miss him.
  • sans1: don't tell me. genocide?
  • sans3: the kid's taking a break from being dunked on.
  • sans2: how many times have you won?
  • sans3: 107. i know it's only a matter of time, but isn't that approaching the record?
  • sans1: dude, i think the record was 618.
  • sans4 has joined the room
  • sans3: oh man, really? so much for my record.
  • sans4: hey guys. dunking record?
  • sans3: yup. 107.
  • sans4: dude, nice.
  • sans3: oh, actually make that 108. brb
  • sans3 has left the room
  • sans2: christ how does he keep that up?
  • sans1: i hear the sanses in the genocide runs get numb a lot faster.
  • sans2: that's hard to believe for me. i still break into a cold sweat when my papyrus is facing the kid, and he always backs down in my timeline.
  • sans4: they're still at that?
  • sans2: yeah. can we move on to a lighter topic of conversation?
  • sans4: ah man sans, i didn't mean to rattle your bones or anything.
  • sans1: tibia honest, i didn't wanna make light of your situation.
  • sans2: heh. want me to pull papyrus in here? he'd hate this.
  • sans5 has joined the room
  • sans4: nah. he deserves a break every once in awhile.
  • sans5: hey guys. can't stay for long, about to head out. just wanted to check in.
  • sans1: hey sans. what's the rush?
  • sans5: date.
  • sans2: oooooooooh
  • sans1: oh oh oh oh
  • sans4: c'mon spill the beans man
  • sans5: heh, alright. post pacifist, toriel.
  • sans4: i can relate. i'm with toriel in my timeline, too.
  • sans5: how long?
  • sans4: about two years, now. first date on your end?
  • sans5: that obvious?
  • sans4: i can't even see you and i can tell you're rattling your bones.
  • sans2: wait, who's toriel?
  • sans1: the lady behind the door.
  • sans1: let's focus on what's important right now. namely, embarrassing sans before he goes on his first date.
  • sans5: wait. what.
  • sans4: i agree totally. hey sans, toriel really likes touching the rib cage. just saying.
  • sans5: oh
  • sans4: and watch it, she's a cuddler. like, you've seen how she hugs frisk? just wait until she gets her paws on you. like being wrapped in a thick, furry blanket.
  • sans5: oooooooooh
  • sans4: and if it goes well, she has this really cute dress that
  • sans5: i came here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • sans2: guys if i laugh any harder i'll wake papyrus up
  • sans4: alright alright. seriously though, she prefers white wine, she'll expect a kiss at the end but she'll be fine if you're too flustered, and avoid talking about asgore, unless you immediately turn it into a pun. her favorite is the "my aim is getting better" one. if she's comfortable enough to initiate that herself, you're golden. that help?
  • sans5: yeah. thanks.
  • sans4: also, she has this sweet spot right at her thigh. she'll make this adorable bleating/giggle and you know you've got the right spot.
  • sans5: okay wow it looks like time i should go
  • sans5 has left the room
  • sans4: he'll be fine.
  • sans1: so toriel, huh? weird.
  • sans4: why's that?
  • sans1: honestly, i can't see myself with anyone but mettaton.
  • sans4: oh my god, mettaton?
  • sans2: dude. dude. whoa.
  • sans1: what? what's wrong with that?
  • sans4: my papyrus is dating mettaton in my timeline.
  • sans1: your papyrus is in a relationship? mine's aro.
  • sans2: and meanwhile i'm sitting in a timeline where papyrus just has a huge crush on the rectangle.
  • sans6 has joined the room
  • sans1: that's just... bizarre.
  • sans2: and chatting with parallel timeline versions of yourself isn't?
  • sans1: point taken.
  • sans6: hey guys. what's up?
  • sans4: quick, who are you in a relationship with?
  • sans6: uh... gaster?
  • sans2: ...
  • sans4: uh, ew.
  • sans1: whoa.
  • sans6: hey man, don't kinkshame me bro.
  • sans4: dude, he's my dad in my timeline?
  • sans6: your dad? freaky.
  • sans2: oh you poor soul. he was just my lab partner in my timeline.
  • sans1: it's... weird for me.
  • sans4: okay, i'm really curious. how weird?
  • sans1: well, "gaster" is actually the name me and pap used to call ourselves before he split into us two.
  • sans6: oh yeah, i've met a sans like that.
  • sans2: i sure haven't. when does he get on?
  • sans6: time is relative, but i think early morning?
  • sans2: ah. that explains it.
  • sans4: yeah, the only reason i get out of bed in the mornings is because toriel practically drags me out on my feet.
  • sans2: papyrus does the same for me.
  • sans6: so... wait. does this mean, from a multiversal sense, i'm engaging in both incest and selfcest?
  • sans1: hey, this is a judgement free zone dude.
  • sans3 has joined the room
  • sans4: you're the one who said not to kinkshame you.
  • sans3: back. 108 now. man i walked into a weird conversation.
  • sans2: c'mon sans, we've had weirder.
  • sans6: wait, 108 what?
  • sans4: speak for yourself. i'm getting weird mental images with me and gaster, now.
  • sans3: dunks. end of genocide route.
  • sans2: hey, remember when amalgamate sans entered the chat?
  • sans4: okay, i'll admit that was weirder.
  • sans6: and really sad. i think that was the only time alphys ever joined the chat.
  • sans1: yeah. i wonder how they're doing?
  • sans6: amalgamate sans or alphys?
  • sans1: both.
  • Core Frisk has joined the room
  • sans6: well hopefully
  • sans2: wait who's this?
  • sans1: frisk? wait, what?
  • sans4: oh, hey frisk.
  • Core Frisk: Hello Sanses. Sorry, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
  • sans6: uh. hey kid. this is a little hard to explain, but
  • Core Frisk: Don't bother. I'm not your Frisk, anyway.
  • sans4: yeah, he's a frisk that fell into the core and now he's kinda omniscient.
  • sans1: wait, what?
  • sans3: whoa.
  • sans6: and gaster was worried about nearly falling into the core.
  • sans1: he had every right to be.
  • Core Frisk: I just wanted to pop in and saying the particular sans amalgamate you were talking about a moment ago is doing fine, in a manner of speaking. He insists that he's happy so long as Papyrus is with him.
  • sans1: that's a relief, i guess.
  • Core Frisk: Oh, and Sans? The one who's been married to Toriel for two years?
  • sans4: yeah?
  • Core Frisk: Just a heads up, sans' first date went fine, but he's plotting a revenge prank on you.
  • sans4: wow kid, that's real cool of you to let me know.
  • Core Frisk: Don't thank me. He asked me to pull the prank myself. Undyne is going to be hunting for you to get her eyepatches back.
  • sans4: what.
  • Core Frisk: if you start running now, you may just get a head-start! :-)
  • sans4: ...
  • sans4 has left the room
  • sans3: that was ice cold, kid.
  • sans6: and amazing. teach me your ways, o master of pranks.
  • Core Frisk: Aw, well I did learn from the best. Namely, you. You're gonna teach me that one in a few months when I visit you.
  • sans6: niiiiiice.
  • sans2: hey, kid? you know all possibilities across all the timelines, right?
  • Core Frisk: Yes. Your Frisk will finally quit at the King Papyrus ending. It'll be lonely for him, but so long as you're with him, he'll be fine. You're a great second-hand man and an even better brother.
  • sans2: ...i gotta run, guys. i, uh... i gotta tell my bro i love him.
  • sans2 has left the room
  • sans3: oh, same here. kid's back for more. don't tell me if i end up beating the record, i wanna find out for myself.
  • sans3 has left the room
  • sans1: ...so, does he?
  • Core Frisk: Where would the fun be if I told you that?
  • sans1: fair enough. alright, i'd better head out. i need to go read papyrus his bedtime story.
  • sans6: and then have fun times with mettaton?
  • sans1: i'm ace.
  • sans6: oh.
  • sans1: ...i don't want to know what you do with gaster, do I?
  • Core Frisk: No, you really don't.
  • sans1: heh. alright, goodnight frisk. goodnight sans.
  • Core Frisk: Night, Sans!
  • sans6: night sans
  • sans1 has left the room
  • sans6 has left the room
  • sans7 has joined the room
  • sans7: i missed the chat again, didn't i?
  • Core Frisk: Yeah. Outertale, right?
  • sans7: ?
  • Core Frisk: Space?
  • sans7: oh. yeah. why?
  • Core Frisk: Well... I've always wanted to try out a jetpack.
  • sans7: you can jump across timelines, right?
  • Core Frisk: You HAVE met me, haven't you?
  • Core Frisk: That was a rhetorical question. I know that you've met me. Omniscient and all.
  • sans7: heh. get over here, i'll grab a pack for you.
  • Core Frisk: =D
  • Core Frisk has left the room
  • sans7 has left the room