okay so everyone else can just go home

anonymous asked:

I haven't gone to school for weeks now. I lost all motivation to complete this school year, which ends next month, and I have no friends either. Everything seems useless. I don't know what to do anymore.

take a break. i think you really need to figure out who you are, what you want in life, and how to go about finding happiness for yourself. take a leave of absence and use that time to rest, reflect, and restart.

i remember when i would walk back to my dorm room in tears after critique days because i felt so worthless compared to the rest of my peers. i doubted myself a lot and thought i had been lying to myself (and been lied to by others) about my potential and talent. but during my leave of absence, i realized i was the one creating all of these assumptions and labels, not anyone else. i realized that i had simply been lost, confused, and unprepared to jump right into college life 3,000 miles away from home. and at the time, i thought that was unacceptable. everyone else was coping and handling everything just fine, so why couldn’t i? was i not strong enough? was i incapable? was i not college material? no. i was just different. and that was okay.

i think you need to know and reassure yourself that it’s okay to be sad and stressed and unmotivated. but don’t think being in a slump means you’re stuck forever. you have all the power in the world to start over again, but only if YOU choose to. no one can force you to go to classes, make friends, or be inspired. only YOU can do that. and only YOU can make that happen when YOU realize you are worth it.

I’m so tired, you guys. This year has been exhausting, and it’s made me completely change my perspective and prioritize and I consequently feel so disconnected from everything academic. Like I love reading and researching and writing, but does it even matter? I can’t work or write for days on end without succumbing to migraines anymore, like my body just wants me to stop. And it does want me to stop because who is our academic work even going to affect other than other academics working in our narrow little fields? If we teach, then fine, we teach students and make some sort of difference, but also, at least non-academic writing gets to other people. I’m tired, and I just want to focus on A and my family and my friends and building my own world. I want to stay home and make a home full of love and comfort and books, and I want to write things that aren’t just going to be graded and forgotten. I’m obsessed with diamond rings and bugaboos and chubby baby cheeks more than I am with the idea of research right now and all my training has me feeling like I’ve gone wrong somewhere, even though I know I haven’t and that I just want happy things. It’s never been either or for me – I’ve always known that a woman can have a career and a family, but I want the one more than I want the other. I want to focus on family and then write part time. I want home and babies and I know that it’s okay, but there’s still so much guilt. Like this isn’t what the world wanted me to be, but it is what I’ve always wanted. I should be charging forth into a PhD and a career, but I just want to slow down. And I have. But I want to stop feeling like I’ve disappointed everyone else and failed on the academic path. 

Love at First Sight’s for Suckers (at least, it used to be) - Jack Kelly

Anonymous asked: omg ok so I love jack kelly more than anything (I mean have you SEEN corey cott??) and I was wondering if you could write a love-at-first-sight imagine with him? I just want some cute fluff bc I’ve had a shit week. thank you!! 💖 Hello friend! I have seen Corey Cott (actually I met him after I saw Newsies on Broadway both times. I mean, what?) I made these into some headcanons because they’re a bit easier for me to crank out right now. Also thank you for setting me up for a great title :)

  • Okay, so obviously Jack is out selling the morning paper when you approach him.
  • You’re there digging through your purse for the coin before he can even tell you the headline, and he’s into it
  • But then you look up and make eye contact when you give him the money.
  • And he’s just blown away.
  • Your eyes are so beautiful???
  • And your hair? It’s perfect. It’s messy? Doesn’t matter. He’s amazed by it.
  • He almost forgets to give you your paper, he’s so awestruck. But you raise an eyebrow and sort of stick out your hand (he’s amazed by how much you can say without opening your mouth) and he hands it over
  • You’re a few feet away when he realizes you gave him a dime instead of a penny. So he calls out to you, thinking you had made a mistake.
  • You yell back “Keep it!” and wink and Jack’s just gone. He’s done. No more running, no more lying Everyone else can go home, he has found the winner of the most perfect human award.
  • You get a paper from him every day at around the same time. And you almost always over pay for it. (What can you say? You’re just as smitten)
  • But one day, you’re a bit late and Jack freaks out.
  • Did he say something? Did he do something? Are you okay? Was he interpreting things incorrectly? 
  • But then he catches a glimpse of you walking towards him, already digging through your bag for a coin.
  • And he determines right there and then that he’s just going to be forward and say how he feels
  • So when you approach him, you exchange coin for paper, and before you can walk away, he blurts out “Do you wanna get lunch?”
  • And at first you’re taken aback. Not because you’re offended, but you’re just surprised. He’s cute? And interested in going to lunch with you?
  • You smile coyly and agree. “Do you have a name?”
  • “I-uh… yeah-I… Jack. Jack Kelly.” He fumbles with his papers to stick out his hand for you to shake. 
  • You shake his hand politely and tell him what time to meet you and where
  • And you guys have a great lunch. He offers to pay, but you tell him just to worry about his portion of the bill.
  • This becomes your routine. You buy a paper from him at about the same time every morning and you meet at a deli for lunch.
  • After a few weeks, Jack arrives at the deli before you do and he preps himself to ask you out
  • But he chickens out because when you showed up, the hair and the eyes and the dress just really overwhelmed him and he was t e r r i f i e d to say something wrong.
  • But about halfway through, he just blurts out “I might be wrong here, but I think there’s somethin’ special between you an’ me and maybe we could see each other in the evenings I have a friend that runs a theatre and we could go see a show sometime”
  • And again, you’re taken aback. Partly because it was all one sentence and partly because did cute newsboy Jack just ask you out?
  • So you shrug and say “sure” and go back to eating your lunch
  • Jack is so confused??? Because you’re so casual about it??? But he loves it.
  • The two of you could be doing absolutely nothing together and he would rank it in the top 5 best times of his entire life. He’s just really smitten over you.
2

Yet it was her eyes that held his attention — green as summer forest, green as polished jade, green as the ocean after a storm. Khadgar recognized those eyes, for he had felt the penetrating gaze of similar eyes, but from her son.

The Last Guardian quotes 1/? 

I Need Your Help Part 11

Summary: Bucky gets an invitation to a family friends wedding and it turns out that his ex girlfriend will be attending as well. Panicked at the thought of seeing her, he asks you, his best friend to attend the wedding with him as his girlfriend in attempts to show his ex that he’s moved on.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: 40′s Bucky, swearing

A/N: You guys deserve part 11 so here ya go


“Y/N! Y/N wait!” Bucky shouted as he ran after you but you didn’t turn around at all. You wanted to slap his beautiful face; scream at him, tell him how utterly stupid he was but you kept on walking, that was until he grabbed your arm, forcing you to stop.

“Y/N let me explain.” he pleads with watery eyes.

“Explain what, Bucky? It was pretty fucking clear what I saw; what your mother and sister saw. There’s no rational explanation for this, just drop it.” you snap as you pull your arm away from his grasp again.

“Y/N I’m sorry.” Bucky cries, desperate for you to forgive him.

“You’re not sorry you did it, you’re sorry you got caught.” you reply. “Save the bullshit for someone else, James.” you were about to walk away but stop and look at him. “Has this happened before?”

Bucky sighs. “Twice, maybe three other times but I-” you scoff at his answer. “Why are you mad about this anyways? We weren’t actually dating yet you’re reacting as if we were.” he points out and you roll your eyes. How stupid can he be?

“God Bucky you’re so fucking stupid!” you exclaim as you look at him. “I’ve already told you I like you so obviously I’m gonna be hurt that you were just fucking Carolyn.”

He looks down at his feet. “I like you too.”

“Don’t.” you hold your index finer up to him. “Don’t say shit you don’t mean.”

He looks up at you, tears streaming down his face. You wanted nothing more than to go up to him and hug him but you kept yourself from doing so.

“But I do mean it.” he speaks. “Y/N I like you. I really do.”

“Stop it! Stop saying that! Figure out your damn feelings before you feed me lies.” you say, now feeling your tears fall from your eyes.

“I know I fucked up but I have feelings for both you and Carolyn and I just - I..” he lets out a sigh as he holds his head in his hands.

“I don’t want to share you, Bucky. You’ve known me for three fucking years, you know I don’t like sharing.” you tell him.

“Y/N-” he tries to gather you in his arms but you step back.

“Don’t you ever talk to me again, James Buchanan Barnes. Whatever this is-” you gesture between you and Bucky, “is over. Whether it’d be the fake relationship or our friendship. It’s done.”

You turn on your heels and exit the building, thankful that Bucky didn’t go and follow you out. The air hits you and you let out a much needed sigh.

“Bucky being a little shit?” a voice chuckles and you look up, spotting Kenneth leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

“Something like that.” you exhale, walking towards him.

“What’d he do?” Kenneth questions.

“Why aren’t you inside?” you retort.

“I asked you first.” Kenneth responds.

“I won’t answer till you do.” you flash him a little smile and he pushes himself off the wall.

“Alright.” he breathes. “I needed fresh air. It was getting crowded in there and I don’t handle that very well.”

“Claustrophobic?” you ask and he nods.

“Now you tell me.” he changes the subject. “What did Bucky do?”

“I don’t want to make him seem like this horrible person because he’s not. He just-” you let out a frustrated sigh. Kenneth steps towards you and places a hand on your shoulder.

“Just tell me what happened. No filter. Everything that he did, tell me. I can help. I am his best friend after all.” Kenneth tells you and you exhale before nodding.

You start from the beginning, when he asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend then continue to go through everything that happened up till this moment. Kenneth listened, never interjecting. He just nodded, signaling that he understood.

“And that’s how I ended up here.” you take a deep breath after finishing.

“Fake dating? Huh, could’ve fooled me.” he says.

“We did fool you, Kenneth.” you remind him. “And everyone else.”

“Right, right but you two were so legit. It’s obvious Bucky feels the same towards you.” he tells you.

“Yeah but he also still has feelings for Carolyn and I refuse to be the second choice. I’m much better than that.” you say and Kenneth nods. “I just want to go home - back to my apartment in Manhattan.” you sigh.

“I can take you back to Winifred’s and George’s place.” Kenneth offers.

“No it’s okay, this is your wedding night, stay here.” you smile.

“It’s alright, I need a few more minutes out here anyways.” he fishes his keys out of his pocket and nods his head. “Come on.”


“Thanks for the ride Kenneth.” you smile as you got out of his car that was parked in front of Bucky’s childhood home.

“No problem. Be safe while getting home, alright? The buses are a different story at night, especially for a pretty lady like you.” he says and you nod. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to Manhattan? I don’t want you to die on the bus ride and have to live with the guilt.”

You let out a laugh at his words. “I’m sure. Get back to your wedding.” 

“Alright. See you later Y/N.” he waves. You shut the car door and watch him drive off before entering the house. You let out a puff of air as you make your way upstairs and into Bucky’s room.

“Wonderful night.” you breathe out, rolling your eyes. “I absolutely love getting my heart broken.”

You wanted to stay but you didn’t want to have to confront Bucky, at least not yet. It would be even more weird and awkward because Bucky’s mother and sister both saw what happened. You wished you never agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend. That was a stupid decision.

You start gathering your things, not bothering to fold them. You shove everything of yours into your bags, wanting to leave as soon as possible. When you were finished you grabbed your bags and walked downstairs. You find a piece of paper and a pencil, deciding to apologize to Winifred and George for leaving without saying goodbye.

You leave the note on the little chest they have by the door before taking one last look around. “At least I had fun here.” you murmur. You pull the large door open and exit the wonderful house. The bus stop shouldn’t be that far from here.

You hold your bags tightly, walking towards where the shops were. You remembered seeing a bus station once when Winifred took you shopping for a dress. Speaking of the dress, you still had it on. You didn’t want to waste anytime changing so you just packed up and left.

A couple of minutes later you finally see the bus stop come into view but panic when you see people already getting on. “Wait!” you shout, waving your free hand around to catch the bus drivers attention. Thankfully he sees you and waits patiently for you to board.

“How far does this thing go?” you question the man as you stood on the bottom step.

“All the way to Manhattan.” he replies. You smile and let out a sigh of relief. Luck was on your side. You take a seat towards the front of the bus as you held your bags closely. You couldn’t wait to lay in your comfy bed and curl up under the blankets. God how you missed that little apartment of yours.

The bus driver closes the doors and hollers out, “Next stop, Manhattan!”


A/N: Here ya go, sorry for the wait.

Tags:

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Hopefully I tagged everyone, if I didn’t, I’m sorry!

Oh Hey

Clarke never locks her door, so she shouldn’t be surprised when Bellamy just walks into her apartment to find her without pants on, wearing the most embarrassing pair of underwear she can imagine.

Clarke is standing at her stove, stirring pasta, when Bellamy walks into her apartment. “Oh hey,” he calls out, but his voice is off a little.

Clarke looks over her shoulder as he makes his way through the living room and straight into the kitchen. “Hey,” she says, concerned at the tone of his greeting.

“Hey.” He says it with a smirk and Clarke wrinkles her nose at him in confusion.

“You already said that,” she reminds him, pointing her wooden spoon at him. His smirk grows into a full blown smile and she becomes even more confused.

Keep reading

Designated Demon

Drunk Cassie summoning Dipper in a party because the designated driver of the group got drunk off his ass and they need to go back home. Cassie’s friends shitting their pants as Cassie makes a deal with one of the most powerful demons in existence like no one’s business. Meanwhile Alcor is giving the designated driver the driest look to ever exist, much to the guy’s terror.


Read on AO3 // Read on FF.net

Cassie didn’t much care for getting drunk. She didn’t like lowering her inhibitions that much. Lowering her inhibitions – although it had been more desperation at the time – was what had led her to summoning a demon for help with her math homework.

Admittedly, that had worked out just fine, but he’d lectured her enough about it for Cassie to know all the ways it could have gone wrong.

Still, Eric had promised, cross his heart and hope to die, that he was going to be the designated driver tonight, and she trusted everyone at this party, so what was the harm in indulging a little for once, right?

As it turned out…she really needed to find someone else to be designated driver from now on, as Eric grinned sloppily at her and her friends.

“Eric, you promised,” Justin groaned, his words more than a little slurred, and Eric grinned back, still unrepentant.

“I’m a miserable liar,” he agreed, slurred and drunken.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you do 19 with Wanda Maximoff please? Thank you! 💕💕💕

19. ‘dont you dare close your eyes. You pulled me out of the darkness, I cant let you go…. I cant let my sunshine go.“

Originally posted by wandas

No. This can’t be. She couldn’t possibly loose the last thing she had, she couldn’t possibly loose the last person she had.

She screamed your name and ran towards your tied up form. She thought she would be relieved when she will finally find you after you were takem by hydra but she has anything but relieved.

You were bloody and bruised, hanging by your hands with chains. The chains had cut your wrists from where they had been, all the abused you had beem through, all the beatings showing clearly on your body. They had tortured you in every possible way, your pain had gone par a limit that you couldn’t even feel it now.

‘wanda, no!’ Tony, maybe steve shouted but wanda didn’t want to hear. All she wanted to do was get near you.

’(y/n)….’ her eyes were glassy as she kept a hand on your cheek.

'what do you want now, huh?’ you asked in a raspy voice. 'see, i won’t be able to speak anyway now that you forced all that salt water down my throat.’ you choked out, your burning throat could only manage so much. Rage filled her. She was making sure they paid for whatever they had done to you. She heard footsteps running in her direction, she didn’t move a muscle. Maybe it was her anger that did it but her powers exploded and every agent in her radius was lying lifeless on the floor in a matter of seconds.

'oh baby,’ she broke your chains using her powers and gently laid you down. 'it’s me, your Wanda. I’m here to take you home.’ she ran a hand through your dirt and blood matted hair. You only clenched your jaw in response, you didn’t know if it was her for it was too dark.

'don’t take her name from your filthy mouth.’ you hissed. You twisted to your side and coughed up blood. You were losing consciousness, everything was becoming a blur.

'sweetie, it’s me she caressed your cheeks. It’s me, please, it’s me.’ a tear of hers fell on your cheek and something like a switch flipped inside your brain.

'wanda?’ you breathed and tilted your head. She nodded urgently. 'wanda.’ you smiled and kept a weak hand on her cheek. She sniffled, chuckled and kissed your hand. She craddled you and hugged your weak form. 'i missed you, I thought I wouldn’t see you ever again.’

'i am here now, okay? I’ll get you home, tony and everyone else will be here soon and then we can go home and get you all good again.’ she said while gently wiping the blood off your mouth.

'it’s so good you’ll be the last person i’ll see before i go.’ you whispered.

'what, no! No, no, you are not going anywhere dont close your eyes. Baby, just hang on for a few more minutes.’ she pleaded. Bht you couldn’t your life seemed to be flowing out of your body, it felt like that moment right before you fall asleep. You cant help but give in.

'i’m tired.’ you blinked heavily. She patted your cheek to keep your eyes open.

'don’t you dare close your eyes. You pulled me out of the darkness, i can’t let you go….’ her voice broke. You had helped her so much after Pietro. You were the only one she had left now,she couldn’t take another harsh blow like this. 'i can’t let my sunshine go.’

'you are the sun, baby. I’m sorry’ a tear trickled down your already tear stained cheeks. 'i love you so much.’ you closed your eyes and your body went lifeless.

'no, no, no, no,’ wanda chanted as she shook you, patted your cheeks, but to no avail. You were gone but she couldn’t believe it.

Tony reached there and couldn’t believe what he saw. He wanted to scream and cry, you were so close to him. With tears fillled in his eyes he kept a hand on Wanda’s shoulder. 'they’re gone.’ he breathed.

'no.’ she stopped shaking your body and froze. 'no they just need my warmth, they get cold easily and tony just get them home!’ she hugged you.

'they’re gone, wanda. They are not coming back.’ he looked down and started crying. God, he hated losing family.

'no.’ her voice came out barely above a whisper. Her powers going crazy around her, becoming a tornado. ’(Y/N)!’ she shouted at the sky. She looked at tony, eyes blood shot 'they took everything from me, tony,’ she craddled your body.

'they took him, now them. Tony, they took my baby.’ she burried her face in your shoulder. Something she did to comfort herself. She looked at you, your lifeless beaten up face. 'i’m so sorry. Please come back to me. Please?’ she got no answer obviously. She screamed at the sky, she lost you. She lost everything.

anonymous asked:

Prompt #1 with Joshua please

joshua, ‘i just wanted to say that i love you’, this is chat speak bc im a hoe

josh ♡

baby
baby please wake up
ahhh what do i have to do to get you to wake up
come back to seoul and find you
please?
:( im sad now

josh, it’s 3am.

josh

YOURE AWAKE
finally
i was bored
and it’s only like 7 here
but everyone else is sleeping already and i wanted to talk to someone

do you… not have other people to text???

josh

okay i lied i only wanted to speak to you
you can go back to sleep if you like, it’s not important

yah im awake now. what’s the problem?

josh

i just wanted to say that i love you
and i don’t tell you enough these days because im always so busy but im so happy to have you in my life
everyday i wake up and im so thankful because i know that (eventually) i’ll be going home to you, and that makes me so happy? i don’t think anything has ever compared to it
and i miss you so much all the time, but that just makes our love stronger
wow that was a cliche, but you know what i mean
so, yeah
i love you, and i miss you, and i can’t wait to see you

i love you too, josh
but this doesnt mean you couldn’t have told me the same thing at a reasonable hour!

4

Soo, I was tagged by sweetest @lovingchenhun to do the post your lock- and home screen, song you’ve been listening to-, and selfie tag- thing! Thank you so much sweetie 💗💗💗

Okay, so I just want to point out that my lock screen is a picture of my dog Picasso, but you can´t really see his face thanks to the time unfortunately… but I can assure you he´s the cutest little cutie ❤︎ 

I´m going to tag some random people: @ananou59, @kookiexdae, @pocketsizeddemon, @hmsonny, @thehoofleiestpoof, @savemeilikeexo, @4minutevevo, @witchydae, @nut4zyx, and everyone else who wants to do it! And I know some of you might already have done it, so you don´t have to do it again if you don´t want to :) Sorry if I´m annoying by tagging you asdhgjsadkgh

Beach House

“Can you do an imagine where you’re at a rental house on the beach and your crush happens to be at the house next door? And they’re both good surfers, so maybe they end up surfing together. Also if he ignores her at the beginning but then starts to notice her later, that would be cool. Thanks!”

This isn’t my favorite, it might be a bit weird at some points, but I hope you enjoy! Also I added a bunch of gifs and pictures, sorry in advance for the clutter :)

Word count: 3.8k


It’s finally summer, and you’ve driven hours with your family to your usual rental house on the beach. This is your favorite stop every summer. You love the beach. You love the chance to relax and unwind, and maybe show off the beach bod you’ve been working for lately, too.

You’ve settled in and unpacked, so you decide to go for a swim. It’s almost 90 degrees and you’re eager to cool off. You put on a bikini and step out of the house, the last one in a long line of rental houses. You start walking towards the nearest set of stairs leading down to the beach.

As you pass the house next to yours, you do a double take. There’s a boy lounging on a plastic chair on the porch. But it’s not just any boy. He looks distinctly like your crush back home. His shades are covering his eyes, but you’re almost certain it’s him. You’ve spent enough time just staring at his face in class, studying the curve of his nose, drooling over his jawline, and of course, looking at his lips. You’d recognize those lips anywhere.

Without realizing it, you’ve stopped and are just standing there, staring, trying to get a closer look. After a moment of this, he seems to notice. He lifts his head and takes out an earbud. Then he lifts his shades, and your mouth opens a little of its own accord. It’s him, no question.

“(Y/n)?” He sits up now. You smile awkwardly and wave even more awkwardly. Wow, this is going well. “Hey, (c/n),” you say as casually as you can.

He seems confused. “What are you doing here?”

Thankfully, the stupid question jump starts your sass, or you would probably just stand there making more awkward comments. “I’ve been following you ever since school ended!” He looks even more confused. Okay, the intention was sarcasm, but maybe that was an awkward comment, too. “I’m on vacation, like you, and everyone else here,” you explain dryly.

“So we just happened to end up at the same beach hours away from home?” he says incredulously.

You can’t help but roll your eyes. As hot as he is, he can be a bit slow. “Unless you’ve been following me, yeah, I’d say that’s a reasonable conclusion.”

“Oh. Well…hey, I guess,” he says unenthusiastically. You sigh inwardly. It’s not like you were expecting him to leap up and hug you, grinning and blushing and exclaiming how happy he is to see you. After all, in school, you were barely friends. More like…acquaintances.

He’s lying back down now, so you take that as your cue to move your ass along. “I guess I’ll see you around,” you tell him. He’s putting his earbud back in, so he probably didn’t hear anyway. There’s nothing else to do now but keep walking forward. You secretly hope he’s at least checking you out as you pass, swinging your hips a little more than necessary. But it’s unlikely.

As you go down the steps and walk towards the water, you mentally replay what just happened, and it finally sinks in that your crush is at the beach house right next to yours. Life must have decided you’ve been through too much stress this school year, and thrown the two of you together as a fun surprise. It’s also a golden opportunity to get close to him, considering he probably doesn’t know anyone else here. Too bad you’re not that bold and you’ll likely never try talking to him again while you’re here.

You splash around in the ocean for a bit but quickly get bored. This isn’t as fun once you get older, and when you have no friends. You also can’t get your mind off your crush. After just a few minutes, you return to the house, glancing towards the house next door on your way. The plastic chair is empty.

Later in the afternoon you decide to go out again, and this time you bring your surfboard with you. Might as well make use of the ocean while you have it, and the waves look pretty good today. There are several other surfers on the water, which is also a good sign. It’s very hot out and you really don’t feel like pulling your tight wetsuit on. Besides, if any cute boys show up you’ll probably want to be wearing a sexy bikini.

You paddle out to where the waves start to break and wait for a good one to come. A few seconds in and you see a nice tall wave forming behind you. You turn back around and start paddling, popping up to a standing position when you feel it swelling under the board, lifting you up. You maintain your balance and ride the wave, feeling triumphant that your first attempt of the summer is a success.

Before you get the chance to ride the wave to shore, however, you notice a surfer to your right riding the same one. He isn’t wearing a wetsuit either, just his swim trunks, and his bare back is facing you. 

Tan, muscular, and glistening wet, it’s enough to distract your horny teenage mind momentarily, and as you stare in happy awe, you lose your balance and tip sideways off the front of the board. As you fall ungracefully into the water, the board flips over and hits you on the head.

You resurface, rubbing your head. “Ow,” you grumble. That’s going to leave a bruise. A voice calls out from nearby, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” you say without really thinking. You turn around to locate the speaker, rubbing water droplets out of your eyelashes. When your vision clears you gasp.

(C/n) is on his stomach on his board, paddling over to you. He is undoubtedly the attractive surfer you just literally fell for. You recognize the swim trunks, and of course, the muscled back. No wonder you thought he was hot.

He seems taken aback as well. “Oh, it’s you.” He doesn’t seem as concerned now, but at least he asks, “You good?”

You grit your teeth and nod. Yeah, it hurts, but the pain is certainly not at the forefront of your brain right now. More important is (c/n) and his tan, wet skin, and how he is drifting closer and closer to you.

“Too big a wave for you?” he asks, a teasing note in his voice.

You immediately become defensive. “I’m a fantastic surfer, actually. That was your fault.”

He frowns. “How-”

“Never mind,” you cut in quickly. “Just…go back to surfing.” You turn away and pull yourself back onto your board. As you paddle quickly into deeper water you think you hear him chuckling a little.

When the next big wave comes, you’re determined to do well, now that you know who your fellow surfer and potential audience is. Sure enough, as you both pop up and ride the same wave, you see him glance over his shoulder at you. You pretend not to notice, focusing instead on your stance and making sure that this time, you are definitely balanced. But you can still feel his eyes on you, moving over your body now. You mentally pat yourself on the back for your choice of swimwear.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t fall over like you did, and you both reach the shore, hopping off your boards at the same time. As you paddle back, now merely a few feet apart, he remarks, “Not bad.” You might take it as a compliment, if the tone weren’t so condescending.

“Oh yeah?” You see a wave approaching from far off, growing steadily taller. By the time it reaches you it’ll be a very decent height. “Let’s see you take this one.”

(C/n) looks to where you’re pointing. “Easy,” he scoffs.

The two of you paddle forward as the wave catches up and get to your feet, surfing the wave side by side. He smirks triumphantly over his shoulder. “Told you,” he boasts as he hops off.

“Hey, you did no better than me,” you point out.

He cocks an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

Your heart rate picks up. A competition. This is your chance to impress him. You’d better not fuck it up. “If you’re too scared you can forfeit,” you say tauntingly.

“Me? Scared? Never.” He grins and starts paddling away. You race to catch up, feeling the fire of competition course through you. Eye of the Tiger starts playing in the back of your mind.

You both surf the next few waves without any trouble. Each time, (c/n) looks over his shoulder to see how you’re doing. You decide to have a bit of fun with this. The next wave comes and you pop to your feet. Once you’re sure you’re balanced and you know he’s looking, you raise your hands over your head and do a little body roll, a la Jack Gilinsky.

(Had to put this in for ref bc Gilinsky=fave)

His jaw drops open. He starts to turn his body completely to face you, a poor choice on a moving board. He loses his balance and pitches headfirst into the water. You bust out laughing and laugh even harder when his disgruntled face pops back up, coughing up water.

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” (C/n) glares at you, his cheeks a little pink, seaweed clinging to his hair. You just smile innocently in response, and paddle back out.

You entertain the thought of twerking on the next wave, despite the fact that you’ve never successfully done it even on solid ground. It’s probably a good thing that you don’t get the chance to try it. As the wave comes and you stand up, you look over and see that (c/n) is still lying down on the board, rotated on his side to face you now. He licks his lips slowly and drags a hand down his neck and across his chest, like an over-exaggerated seductress in a cheesy movie.

(^Picture this…but instead it’s a hot guy)

You cough loudly, a hot blush rising quickly to your cheeks. Jesus. He smiles at you, locking eyes with you, his hand still on his abs. You manage to stay firmly planted as the wave peters out, bringing you to shore. You hop down neatly and sit on your board, facing him. He’s stopped now, thank God. You clear your throat a couple times. “See, I can’t be beat,” you say proudly, hoping he can’t hear how your voice wavers a bit.

“Guess not,” he says. He suddenly looks embarrassed and a bit confused, and won’t meet your eyes anymore. The abrupt change takes you by surprise, but now that he’s no longer cocky and confident, you feel yourself retreating into your shell as well. He seems as uncomfortable as you feel, and you get an urge to put some distance between the two of you. “Well, I’d better go,” you say awkwardly, and pick up your board to leave. He doesn’t argue, so you walk away, back towards the house, reveling in wonder at the situation that just transpired. Maybe he’s as shocked with himself as you are. 

The next day is sunny but not suffocatingly hot. It’s a good day to sit on the beach and tan.

You’re also a little scared to go out surfing again, in case you see him and things are just as awkward as yesterday. So instead you bring a towel and your phone down to the beach, settling down to listen to some music.

You only get a couple songs in, however, before you’re rudely jolted out of your repose by a frisbee hitting you in the head. Goddamn, at this rate your head is not going to survive this vacation. You sit up and look around for your attacker, ready to reprimand them angrily. But when you see who it is, you’re at a temporary loss for words. And no, it’s not (c/n). Pretty damn close, though. A cute, equally tan boy with windswept brown hair and arguably better abs jogs over to you, calling out apologetically.

“Sorry, sorry!” He reaches you and crouches down, running a hand through his hair, messing it up further. Of course, this only makes him sexier. Ugh, boys. “It was his fault,” he adds, gesturing over to a boy standing a few feet off, who grins and waves.

“Way to take responsibility,” you retort, but you can’t actually be angry at this godlike boy, especially when his toned chest is inches away from your face.

“Right, my bad, I’m sorry,” he says sheepishly. “You okay?” He leans over you, looking concerned, and you try not to swoon.

“I’m good. I was kidding, don’t worry about it.” You pick up his frisbee to return it to him, but change your mind and jump to your feet instead, running several feet away with it.

“Huh - hey!” he calls out after you, getting up and coming after you. As he nears you, you make eye contact with his friend and toss the frisbee over to him.

The first boy growls playfully at you, and motions for his friend to throw it back to him. But he throws it to you instead, and though the brown-haired one reaches for it with grasping fingers, you catch it first.

And thus begins an impromptu game of Monkey in the Middle. With all the attention from these two hot guys, you forget about your crush for a moment. You’re actually enjoying yourself, too. But as you jump to catch a rather high throw, another hand snatches the frisbee out of the air.

You turn around to see (c/n), holding the frisbee triumphantly and grinning. “You wanna play?” he says, taunting them. “Come and get it!”

The boys, eager to rise to the challenge, charge him, and you back out of the way. When they get close to him, he locks eyes with you, and tosses the frisbee around them to you. You catch it and laugh. Four way Monkey in the Middle, why not? You and (c/n) snap the frisbee back and forth, keeping it out of reach of the other two. After several minutes of this, you flop onto the sand, exhausted. (C/n) tosses the frisbee back to its rightful owners and salutes them, then sits down next to you.

“Well, that was fun,” he says, and you chuckle in agreement. “We kicked their asses,” you add, drawing your feet up to your butt and then pushing them back out again, digging lines into the sand. You do this a few more times and then pile some sand over your legs.

(C/n) notices and laughs. “Digging your own grave?”

You nod and continue working.

“I’ll help,” he says jokingly, and piles more sand on your legs, packing it in tightly. You lie back and let him do the rest for you, watching him as he works. The feet are harder to cover, and after a few attempts he gives up, letting your toes poke up through the sand. He finishes covering your legs and moves up, pouring sand on top of your bikini bottom. You hold your breath in anticipation, and when he pushes sand up between your legs, you exhale loudly. He doesn’t look at you, but a sly smirk is playing at his lips. He grabs another handful of sand and sprinkles it onto your bare stomach. It feels faintly ticklish, and you clamp your lips together to keep from laughing.

Then he spreads the sand over your stomach with his fingertips, grazing your bare skin here and there. You shudder at his touch and your breathing becomes a little unsteady. You’re not laughing anymore. His fingers trace circles around your belly, which is nice and flat thanks to the last minute workouts you did before this vacation. Your eyes close of their own accord and the sensations are amplified; the sand scraping lightly against your skin, his cool fingers moving in gentle circles, and even the closeness of his body to yours.

Your breathing is jagged and your whole body is warm by the time (c/n) decides he’s finished with your stomach. Your eyes are still closed when the next handful of sand is poured in the groove between your boobs. It tickles your skin, but you don’t laugh; rather, you emit a sort of strangled sigh.

He covers your bikini with sand and pats it into place, cupping your boobs as he does it. He’s moving much more slowly now, and his movements are careful and gentle, like he’s handling a delicate kitten. He spends an extra long amount of time on your chest. He’s pretty much just feeling you up at this point, you realize.

A wolf whistle interrupts your thoughts, and you finally open your eyes to see the boys from before watching from a little ways away. Luckily the beach is pretty empty aside from those two.

You shift your gaze to the face that is now much closer to yours, eyes still focused on your chest. You watch his facial expression. He seems much more serious now, concentrated on his work. But when he feels you looking, his lips curve in a small smile. You wonder if he can hear your quickened breathing, or feel your frantic heartbeat when he pats the sand onto your chest. You let your eyes travel down to his bare chest. Since you’re stuck here until he decides he’s done, you might as well enjoy the view, right?

When you’re covered in sand up to the neck, (c/n) finally pauses and makes eye contact. His smile widens into a smirk as he examines your face, which must be bright red by this point. You’re more than a little turned on, and you can’t help but think that if you were a guy, it would be much harder to hide.

(C/n) puts his hands on either side of your head. You can’t move, because you’re buried under an inch of sand, and also because you’re frozen in place. You don’t dare say a word, not that you even really remember how to speak at the moment.

He’s staring at your mouth now. Your heart races in anticipation and nervousness. He leans down, looks briefly into your eyes, and presses his lips against yours.

It lasts only a moment. He lets his tongue graze your lips before he pulls away. He gets to his feet, winks, and walks away. All without a word.

That night, you can’t fall asleep. You stay awake for hours, replaying the kiss and the events leading up to it over and over in your mind. Eventually you give up on sleeping and go on your phone until the dark sky starts to lighten around 5 am. At this point, since you’re already up, why not take this opportunity to watch the sun rise?

You get up as quietly as you can, trying not to wake anyone else. You ease the back door open and slip out, shivering slightly in the cool morning air. You’re wearing only a cami and short lounge shorts, and goosebumps pop up instantly. To your left is the edge of the beach, marked by a large hill of rocks. In your bare feet you climb carefully up the hill, stumbling here and there and cursing when you stub your toe on a rock. At last you reach the top and sit down, hugging your knees. The sky is light blue with a growing tint of pink, signaling the arrival of the sun. You sit and wait calmly, letting the breeze whip your hair around your face. You’re all alone at the top of a hill of rocks waiting for the sun to rise, and you’ve never felt more at peace.

As the horizon begins to glow orange, you hear rocks clacking together behind you, and turn around. (C/n) is climbing the hill, and flashes you a smile when he realizes you’ve seen him. He reaches you and sits down beside you, mimicking your pose and hugging his knees to his chest.

After a minute of just sitting in comfortable silence like this, watching the orange glow intensify, he says, quietly, “Hey.”

You smile a little to yourself. “Hey,” you whisper back, glancing quickly at him. His profile is bathed in orange light, and he looks thoughtful and serene and…beautiful.

The tip of the sun peeks out above the horizon. It reflects on the water, turning everything orange-yellow.

“Gorgeous, huh?” you say.

“Yeah, gorgeous,” he echoes. You turn and he’s looking at you.

The orange light hides your blush, but you feel it warming your cheeks.

(C/n) takes a deep breath. “I feel like I owe you an explanation, and maybe an apology.”

You wait for him to continue, wondering where this is going.

He picks up a pebble and turns it around in his fingers. “I’m sorry I kissed you like that. That was weird. I just…couldn’t help myself.”

You look at him questioningly.

He shrugs apologetically. “You looked so cute with just your head sticking out.” He chuckles and shakes his head at the memory.

You still don’t say anything. You don’t know how to respond. You turn and face the sun, which is almost half visible.

He examines the pebble without interest, and takes another minute before continuing. “I know this is sudden, but I’ve realized that when I’m around you, I get this indescribable feeling of happiness. And I just want to keep being around you. I think…” He puts the pebble down and turns towards you. “…I think I like you.”

You have to look at him now. You have to say something. But you’re just frozen.

He studies your face uncertainly. “I guess I was hoping…maybe you’d consider going on a date with me?”

Finally, you turn your head, slowly, and meet his eyes. Say something. This is what you’ve been dreaming of. But it’s like your brain has stopped working and your mouth won’t open.

He looks into your eyes, lifts his hands and cups your cheeks gently. He leans forward, hesitantly, and touches his mouth to yours.

Your arms come alive and go to his neck. Your lips start to move of their own accord, and your head tilts for easier access. In response, he leans in closer and kisses you more passionately, and soon it becomes a full-on makeout session.

Isn’t this more satisfying than the first one! You pull him closer, hungry for more. He is eager to comply.

After several seconds, or possibly minutes, or a whole lifetime, you pull apart. (C/n) leans his forehead against yours. “Is that a yes?”

You smile giddily. “Yes. Yup. I like you too. Yes.” Then you add, “Sorry for the delay.”

He laughs and pulls you into his side. You rest your head on his shoulder. Together, you watch the rest of the sunrise.

twigwise  asked:

"autistic burnout"? what is?

Autistic burnout is when an autistic person is under a whole lot of stress and they kind of shutdown after a while. Trying to pass as neurotypical, not being able to stim, a lot of overwhelming sensory stuff, taking too many classes or just trying to do too many things, even fun socializing when you do a lot of it, and a lot of other stuff all can contribute to autistic burnout.

I’ve heard people describe it as their “autism suddenly getting worse.”

Here is a great video that explains it much better than I am:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZwfujkNBGk 

~personal moment~

I definitely experienced it last semester at college and I had no idea what it was. I knew I wasn’t depressed because I know what that feels like and that wasn’t it, but I definitely was not okay.

I was having melt downs constantly and the only food that I would eat was chocolate almond milk. Everything felt super difficult. Getting out of bed was a nightmare.

Getting to class, let alone getting to the food hall had too many steps. I had to 1. find clothes 2. put them on 3. go in the smelly elivator 4….It goes on and on. 

I usually have hypolexia and I legit could not read. I felt like there was a thick plexiglass box separating me from everyone else. I was still there, but I couldn’t communicate with anyone. 

Now I’m home and I spend all of my time sleeping or stimming* or drawing or making smoothies or going on bike rides and I’m feeling better. (but not completely un-burnedout.) 

*I never used to stim consciously! I just kind of did I guess and a lot of times I suppressed it. So now I’m exploring different stims and its awesome! 

Also, I can read more now but I still can’t read books, but that’s okay, I have ADHD also and my ability to stay focused on a book has always been kind of hit or miss unless I was hyperfocusing.

-mod narise

#15 “Squad”

#15 from my au list;  Can’t it just be us for a day and not us and the whole squad no offense

*****

REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!

*****

LIST HERE

**************

Originally posted by teupatrao

I was trying reaaaaaaally hard not to catch an attitude, but it was becoming inevitable .

“Y/N throw me some chips!” Za says, and I literally grab the whole bag of chips and throw it at his head, a look of shock on his face as everyone laughs.

If I wasn’t so irritated I would’ve laughed too, but now wasn’t the time .

“Babe you okay?” Justin whispers in my ear, his arm wrapped around me and I rolled my eyes.

“Just peachy Justin” I snap, because this was all his fault .

Everything was going just fine. We woke up, had amazing sex, ate breakfast, Justin ate me which lead to more sex, we watched a movie.. the day was going perfectly. Justin had been promoting his new album and he had just gotten home a few days ago, but we kept hanging out with the squad, and today I thought itd just be us … Until they showed up.

Justin grabbed my chin gently so I could look at him but I snatched it away, standing up.

“Y/N where are you going?” Kendall asks, and I sigh.

“Im going to the bathroom, do you all want to come and ruin that too?” I say, a little too harshly, before turning around and stomping to the restroom.

I closed the door behind me, closing my eyes. I just wanted them gone for ONE day out so we could continue our perfect day.

I opened my eyes when someone knocked on the door. “Baby? Its Justin, open up” He says and I sigh, unlocking the door and opening it.

He looked so good in his sweat pants and t shirt, his hair messy from our last sex session, few hickies visible on his neck.

“Did I do something? I thought we were okay” He asks, stepping inside of the bathroom and closing the door behind us.

I pout, wrapping my arms around his waist and looking up at him.

“We are okay, more than okay, its just-“I purse my lips, not wanting to sound clingy or demanding.

“Its just what baby? Tell me so I can fix it.” He presses, his hands wrapping around me.

“Its just, ever since you’ve been home its been us and everyone else. Cant it just be us for a day? Like today was going so perfect” I mumble, and he smiles at me.

“You want me to kick them out so we can pick up where we left off?” He asks seductively and I laugh.

“I just want to be with youuu, and only you” I whisper, my lips ghosting against his.

“Done” He murmurs, pressing his lips against mine.

David Luiz Long Imagine -; [I'd like one that was like David has a long time girlfriend and takes her to a party with the other Chelsea players (Torres, Oscar etc) and gets jealous of her giving them all the attention, so when they get home he proves to her that she is his. The girlfriend can be called Rebecca pleaaaase thank you]

“C’mon go with me just this once"
“You know I don’t like parties David!” I explain whilst picking at my nails to distract myself.
“Please Becca it’s just this one party everyone else is going and you don’t have to stay long.” He begs placing his hands on my cheeks forcing me to make eye contact. He begins to pout in a dramatic plea and I know I am convinced.
“Okay okay alright I’ll go but just this once” I put my hands up as a sign of defeat and he smiles a breathtakingly beautiful smile which in turn makes me smile.
“Thank you baby” he mutters in my ear whilst hugging me tightly.
“Now go away and let me change” I say playfully and he quickly departs from my room allowing me to put on some party clothes.
Seeing as I’m not a party goer I don’t really have a choice when it comes to what to wear so I manage to find a dress right at the back of my wardrobe that I wore about a year ago.
I quickly remove the t-shirt and shorts that I have on and I just about manage to squeeze into the dress.
I put my hair straighteners in the plug and get to work on my face. When I finish putting on my mascara, blush and winged eyeliner I begin to straighten my hair. After about an hour I am almost done and just in time it seems because I can hear David yelling at me to hurry up from downstairs. I quickly reapply my deep red lipstick and put on my heels which match my dress and make my way downstairs.
“Finally! I thought I was going to die before you got ready. What took you s-” David begins to complain before his eyes rake up and down my body and I hear his sharp intake of breath and my subconscious gives a knowing smirk.
“You look beautiful sweetheart” he mutters in my ear once I’ve made my way downstairs placing his hand on the small of my back and I give him a small ‘thank you’ smile.
After what seems like ages we finally pull up to a huge three storey house that looks very modern and like it was pulled straight from the movies. My eyes widen at the amount of people that are here and I gulp.
“I thought you said this would be a small party” I remind David and he takes my hand and pulls me into the large hubbub of people choosing to ignore my question.
I huff and follow him into the house. He high fives and hugs a lot of his friends that I think I’ve met once or twice before but not enough to know their names. They all give me a polite wave and carry on chattering with David. After about ten minutes I get bored of standing next to David doing nothing so I think to myself seeing as this is the first party I’ve been to in ages I might as well explore. I excuse myself from David and make my way around the huge living room and notice the art on the walls. Whoever lives here must be really rich I think to myself before I hear my name being called a couple of times by different voices.
“Becca”
“Rebecca”
“Becca”
I turn around seeing as my name is being chorused and I am met by three happy smiling faces all with drinks in their hands. Fernando, Oscar and Frank. I recognize the familiar faces and move towards them whilst smiling and waving to show I had seen them. 
“Heya darling ! We haven’t seen you in ages” Fernando says moving to kiss my cheek. 
I begin to blush as Oscar wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into a hug whilst muttering into my hair “where has David been keeping you hidden” before swiftly bending down to kiss my cheek. I feel a little weird being given all this attention but I don’t say anything because I don’t want to make it awkward. I giggle at Oscars sweet words as Frank compliments my outfit for the night.
“It looks very classy” he says smiling at me and I begin to blush again. Damn all these boys and their compliments.
“Thank you” I reply politely and we begin to chatter, catching up with each other. There’s a lot to talk about seeing as I haven’t seen David’s closest friends since around 3 months ago. 
After about an hour of talking and laughing with the Chelsea boys I begin get a bit restless and excuse myself from the them to go in search of David.
“I’ll come and help you” Oscar offers kindly and I take him up on his offer as I don’t want to get lost in this gigantic mansion. 
We begin our search downstairs but to no avail. David seemed to have disappeared but where would he go? Before I can really think Oscars deep voice interrupts my train of thought.
“Would you like a drink? 
“Alright then” I reply and he gives me a brief smile before going towards the table filled with alcohol. I know I shouldn’t drink but this is my first party in a long time so I want to make the most of it. Oscar quickly returns with a cup of cold vodka and I thank him.
“Let’s check for him upstairs” Oscar says placing his hand into mine and pulling me towards the staircase. I begin to panic. I know Oscar is just being friendly but David is quite the jealous type and I have a feeling he wouldn’t be happy with this. I ignore the part of me that tells me this is a bad idea and just go along with it. We reach the top of the stairs and Oscar finally releases my hand and I breathe a small sigh of relief. We split up and check all the rooms which takes a long time but David is nowhere to be found. I find an empty room with a huge bed in the middle and sit at the edge of the bed. My head is becoming a little fuzzy and a small headache is beginning to form. 
“Becca?” I hear Oscar call and I yell ‘in here’ so he knows where I am. He quickly joins me next to the bed and takes his hand in mine again.
“You couldn’t find him?” I ask timidly and he shakes his head ‘no’
I pull my hand out of his and attempt stand up. My legs wobble and my head begins to pound and I can just about make out Oscar quickly standing up and placing his large hands around my waist to steady me.
“Careful clumsy” Oscar smirks moving closer towards me. I retreat with every step he takes until I feel my back against the cold wall. I am cornered.
“So how long have you and David been dating” Oscar asks raising an eyebrow.
“Uhm .. a year or so?” I state but it sounds more like a question. 
“Wow you’ve been dating a whole year and David ditches you at a party? Dick move. If I was him I would never let you out of my sight” he says as my eyes widen and my breathing becomes erratic and his words. 
“He hasn’t ditched me. I’m sure he’s just in the toilet or something..” I mumble.
“For this long?” He questions closing the little space between us. His sweet breath is fanning my face and although I am a little drunk I am sober enough to know that this isn’t going to have a good outcome. 
“Oscar this isn’t a good idea” I place my small hands on his chest and he puts his left hand on my upper arm and his right hand on my cheek. 
“Nobody has to know” he says before moving his head closer to mine and closing his eyes.
I am holding my breath and thinking what to do when I hear the door handle being opened. I silently thank God that someone has come to save me from this situation but all the colour soon drains from my face when I realize my hero is in fact David. I curse under my breath and his eyes widen in shock as he takes in the scene in front of him before I see a flash of fear which then turns to anger in his eyes.
“What the fuck is this?” He hisses making his way over to us. My head begins to spin and I am speechless for once.
He moves towards Oscar and although he’s the one that got me into this mess I am afraid for him. I know David could easily do some damage as he is a lot stronger than Oscar and he doesn’t need this all over the press tomorrow morning so I try my hardest to prevent a bloody battle from occurring. David shoves him very hard and he stumbles. I quickly move in between them whilst placing my hands on David’s torso and trying to stop him from swinging at him. 
“David leave him alone he was just helping me” I say and I am surprised I managed to say a complete sentence without breaking down in tears which is exactly what I want to do right now.
“Helping you? Helping you!?” David scowls at me, fury emanating from every pore and I know he is ready to explode.
“Helping you what? Cheat on me?” He questions angrily running his hands through his hair.
“Oscar leave please this is between us” I tell him and he nods apologizing.
“David you’re getting angry over nothing. Nothing happened he was merely helping me find you seeing as you pulled a disappearing act.” I explain breathing heavily.
“I pulled a disappearing act? No that was you. You left me as soon as we walked in and then I left to go and find you but once I saw you were giggling away and having fun with my supposed best friends I decided to leave you to it.” 
I begin to open my mouth and say something before closing it again because I can tell from David’s expression he’s not done.
“Then I get distracted by my friend who I haven’t seen in two years and we stop for a chat. Once I’ve finished I come in search of you again because I know you dislike parties and I wanted to get you out of here. But then I walk in on you and Oscar about to kiss … Am I not enough for you anymore?” He finishes sadly his eyes still blazing with anger.
“That’s just it. He almost kissed me. I didn’t almost kiss him back because I love you. Why would I want any other guy when I have you?” I say moving towards him.
He grabs my arms twisting me around abruptly pushing me up against the wall. He grabs my face between his hands, forcing me to look up into his ardent determined eyes. I gasp, and his mouth swoops down. He’s kissing me, violently. Briefly our teeth clash, then his tongue is in my mouth. Desire ignites throughout my body, and I’m kissing him back, matching his pace, my hands knotting in his flawless curls, pulling it, hard. He groans, a low sexy sound in the back of his throat that vibrates through me.
“You. Are. Mine,” he snarls, emphasizing each word. He pushes away from me and bends, hands on his knees as if he’s run a marathon. “For the love of God, Becca.”
I lean against the wall, panting, trying to control the reaction my body has to him and only him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper once my breath has returned.
“I’m sorry too. For overreacting. I know nothing happened and I trust you. Don’t ever scare me like that again I thought I had lost you.” He says and he pulls me into a hug.
“I love you so much David you will never lose me I can promise you that” I reply looking up at him.
“I love you too. More than you’ll know.” He murmurs against my head and I can feel his smile and I know we’re okay again.

battle royale sentence starters (pt. 1)

❝ everything went totally crazy. i didn’t have a clue what to do, and no one else helped me. ❞
❝ sorry i’m late… what’s going on? ❞
❝ come on, let’s go. ❞
❝ i’ve made some cookies… i thought i could share them. would you like some? ❞
❝ look over here! say “cheese”! ❞
❝ hey, you know what? i’m glad i came. ❞
❝ let’s all be friends. ❞
❝ two transfer students are joining us today. be nice to them. ❞
❝ hey, don’t mess around. what is this place? ❞
❝ where the hell are we? ❞
❝ who are these people? ❞
❝ no good. no good at all. ❞
❝ this country is now good for nothing. want to know why? ❞
❝ i said, no whispering! ❞
❝ when someone’s talking, shut up and listen. ❞
❝ i missed you guys. ❞
❝ today’s lesson is that you kill each other off… until there’s only one of you left. nothing is against the rules. ❞
❝ what’s so funny? ❞
❝ what are you talking about? this can’t possibly… ❞
❝ we have here a failure as an adult. ❞
❝ be careful that you don’t become an adult like him. ❞
❝ don’t fall asleep now. ❞
❝ congratulations! ❞
❝ listen carefully, and then fight with all of your strength. ❞
❝ it’s against the rules for me to kill, isn’t it? sorry. ❞
❝ you assholes! ❞
❝ better run, guys. ❞
❝ what is this?! ❞
❝ ah, there’s something else i need to tell you. ❞
❝ this game has a time limit: three days. ❞
❝ no one will win! ❞
❝ you might as well fight as hard as you can, and win. ❞
❝ make sure that doesn’t happen, okay? ❞
❝ if i survive, can i go home? ❞
❝ how were we chosen? ❞
❝ why are you doing this? ❞
❝ it’s your own damned fault. ❞
❝ you don’t respect adults, do you? ❞
❝ life is a game. ❞
❝ so fight for survival… and see if you’re worth it. ❞
❝ this will give everyone a fighting chance! ❞
❝ we’ve notified your parents. ❞
❝ just go for it! ❞
❝ that’s MY bag. ❞
❝ what the…? ❞
❝ you probably guessed, but our new transfers are a little dangerous. ❞
❝ what happened…? ❞
❝ what am i going to do…? ❞
❝ what is this? ❞
❝ shit, what am i doing? ❞
❝ what are you doing? ❞
❝ is this yours? ❞
❝ i just had to get out of there. ❞
❝ it’s just a scratch. let me wash off the blood. ❞
❝ those bastards… goddamn it! ❞
❝ you won’t like me for saying this– but i don’t trust any of them either. ❞
❝ are you scared of me too? ❞
❝ do you have a crush on anyone at the moment? ❞
❝ even if she didn’t really mean it… it’s nice to have someone waiting for you. ❞
❝ he needed my help, but i couldn’t do a thing. ❞
❝ i can’t give this up. ❞
❝ i’ll take revenge for him. ❞
❝ i’ll protect you right to the end, just like he would have done. ❞
❝ none of us is killing anyone. ❞
❝ you might as well come clean now. ❞
❝ are you listening? ❞
❝ i’m sorry… i’m not much help, am i? ❞
❝ no, i’m grateful you came with me. ❞
❝ what will happen to us? ❞
❝ i know one thing: i’ll never play this game. ❞
❝ were you going to kill me with that stun gun? ❞
❝ i was never friendly with your group, but you’re okay. ❞
❝ i’ll never die like that! ❞

Familiar Eyes: Dan Howell

 one, two.                                         

                                                 chapter three

I have been doing a lot that of showering recently. Somehow it brings peace in this crazy, ambiguous life in living. Perhaps, I like the way the sounds of water hitting my bare backs keeps others from hearing me cry. The one problem with showers, if possible, is that I can hear myself cry, and even though I can’t feel my tears, I can taste them—their salty existence burns into my tongue as yet another reminder that it will never taste his again.

After my shower, I text my sister, per usual, letting her know I got out of bed today. Miraculous, but necessary. Today I was spending some time with Dan again. I lock my apartment door with force, as if I’m locking away me demons. I took a breath of fresh air, and begun my travels over to his flat.

Mindlessly, I found my way to his front door, where he welcomed me with a hug and smiles. I gave him a fake smile a laugh, following him up some stairs. Correction, a lot of stairs.

He laughed, looking back at me, “Sorry, I question my choice of apartments every time I take this hike.”

He welcomed me into his ‘humble abode,’ and I chuckle at his dorkiness. Putting a movie into his television, I laugh at the chandelier in his lounge, “Sorry I didn’t dress up more.”

Without turning around, he responds, “What are you talking about, you always look beautiful,” he said, but noticed my finger motioning to the elegant light. “Oh,” he laughed, “yeah that came with the place, too. Again, questioning my choices, but Phil likes it.”

We settle into his warm couch for the movie, his arm resting on the back of the couch behind me. I watched to movie, I felt my eyes physically tied to the screen, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t focus. It’s like when you read a page out of a book, but by the bottom, you have no idea what you just read about. I felt my mind slowly and surly always drifting back to his arm, February, showers, tears—his arm.

I look over at Dan, and his eyes are intently fixed on the screen. I watch his lashes flutter, and he looks over at me. Quickly, I look back at the screen, but out of the side of my eye I catch a smile on his face. I feel a smile grow on my lips as well, the first genuine smile I have felt in a while.

Breaking our silence, I hear my phone start to vibrate in my bag from the other side of Dan. He reaches into my purse, retrieving it for with me. Of course, not without taking a piece of candy from my stash as well.

“Hello?” I answered the call.

“Where are you?” May yelled, obviously worried.

“Calm down, I’m at Dan’s.” I said, turning away from him, “so can I call you back?” I said.

“Sure thing, have fun. Use protection,” she said jokingly, but my heart dropped at the thought.

Responding from my silence, she quickly retorted, “I’m sorry. I was just-“

“It’s fine, I’ll talk to you later,” I said, hanging up.

Turning around, I saw Dan holding a small square piece of paper. “Who’s this?” he asked, turning it around to show me.

I filched, seeing the face that haunts my memories and graces my dreams. I ripped the picture out of his hands, and looked down at it. That shouldn’t be in my purse. That shouldn’t be there. Why is that there? I haven’t seen that face for six months. Feeling the anger and sadness and distress boil in me, I turn to the only person in the room: Dan.

“You had no right to look though my stuff like that!” I yelled. He looked startled, obviously not prepared for my extreme mood shift.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know-“

“No! Stop! Just stop. I…I…” I spit, searching for words. I looked at him, his eyebrows drawn together, his features showing concern.

Then, I broke down. I cried—more than I do in my bed, more than I do in the shower. Feeling Dan’s strong arms wrap around me, I felt another wave of sobs wrack off my body. He sat me down, and I completely collapsed into the couch. He did all that he could to get me to stop crying, but each time my blurry eyes look at the picture, the more my heart breaks. Finally, there is a knock on the door, and my sister comes running into the room.

“I’m so sorry,” she said to Dan, as she picks up my helpless body off the couch. “I’m so, so sorry,” she repeats.

“It’s fine, is she okay?” he asks.

I look up at him, tears streaming down my face. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” I yelled.

“Please, Kat. Let’s just go home,” May pleaded.

“No!” I said, breaking from her grip. I walked over to where Dan stood and looked up at him. His eyes—those eyes, filled with galaxies of complexity—held that same fucking look that everyone else give me, and he didn’t even know.

“Whatever it is, I-“ he began.

“No Dan,” I interrupted, wiping my nose, “I don’t want your fucking pity.”

“Maybe we can talk tomorrow?” he said, studying my face. I nodded my head, dismissing him for good.

“Look Dan, it’s really cute that you have a stupid crush on my or something, but I can’t see you. I told you this.”

“I know, I just-“

As more tears fell from my eyes, I slung my purse over my shoulder.

“Please, just leave me alone.”

Thanks so much for reading! I love you all so much! Message me about anything, I’m always around:)

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Missing You

Originally posted by sexycliffconda


A/N: I wrote this because I was feeling pretty homesick when I got to school, and I definitely could have used a comforting and understanding Luke. I hope everyone enjoys it:) Please leave comments/feedback in my ask! masterlist

Words: 1,039

You call Luke in the middle of the night because it’s you’re first time being away from home and him for an extended period of time, and you need to hear his voice. The moments of silence between the ring and Luke picking up his phone fill you with a deep longing, the need to hear his soothing voice practically tangible.

Luke, high on adrenaline after a show halfway around the world, with exhausted vocal cords and fingers numb from playing the guitar, still with his head half on stage, imagining the crowd screaming his own lyrics back at him, answers his phone as soon as he sees the photo of you, the picture of you licking an ice cream cone that he snapped on a recent date, pop up on his screen.

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notashleyfrangipane  asked:

We all know Calum's a bit of a health freak & he likes to exercise & stuff right? Can u do a blurb where you're both really into the healthy lifestyle and exercise all the time and the sex is really energetic because omg. But then one day u try to convince him to try go vegan with u (This is me btw, I've tried like 80 million times to go vegan but I'm eating yoghurt rn.) and he pretends to like it to make u happy but all he really wants is a fkin cheeseburger.

I’M DYING A LITTLE BC IDK THIS IS JUST MAKING ME LAUGH BUT OK

omg though like okay so imagine, like, working out together and going for jogs and shit. UGH this would actually be so cute tbh. Like, imagine, you’d be at the hotel gym and he’d be doing weights, and then you would be on the treadmill and you’d both kinda be facing each other. And he’d be trying to show off by lifting really heavy shit but you’d just laugh because he could barely do it. And then randomly he would just stop and just stand there and stare at you while you’re running, and his arms would drop by his side and his head would tilt to the side and you’d see him just subtly lick his lips. But his eyes wouldn’t be staring at your face, they’d literally be just gazing at your tits

And then as soon as you noticed you’d like grab your boobs and be like, ‘CALUM!’ and he’d just snap out of it and wink and have this massive grin. And for the rest of the session he would barely do any work, and he’d end up dragging you out of the gym asap and in a hurry. And when you asked questions he wouldn’t even reply, but he’d be pulling your hand away and when you were in the lift back up to your hotel room, as soon as the doors shut he would juST SLAM YOU UP AGAINST THE WALL AND PRESS HIS WHolE body against yours and make out with you so aggressively and grabbing your hip in one hand and boob in the other and, 'I hope you’re not too tired from all that running, baby,’ and you’d be so breathless but so ready to get into it like, 'never.’

and hell yeah, every time you had sex it would almost be a competition of who could keep energy levels up the most. And some nights you two would just go for hours and hours and holy shit.

OMG anyway so the next day after that specific night, he’d wake up early and wanna go for a run and you’d be keen as well, but then you’d really be struggling and part way through you’d have to stop and you’d put your legs apart and hands on your back like a pregnant lady lol and he’d go all like, ‘are you alright? We haven’t done one km yet,’ and you’d whine, like, 'Cal, I think you fucked me too hard last night,’ and he’d just burst out laughing so loud and stick his tongue out and, 'baby, I could go so much harder than that.’

but then he’d be nice and cute and instead of running you’d go for a nice stroll and he’d have his arm around your waist and kissing your forehead or cheek every so often bc he did feel a little bit bad

anyway so, like, yeah. One day you’d ask him, 'if I went vegan, would you consider doing it with me?’ and without even hesitating he would be like, 'yeah of course.’ and then he would seem just as enthusiastic as you. Like, he would go shopping with you to get vegan stuff and he’d help (mainly just watch you and lick spoons and grab your ass) while you were cooking meals and stuff 

bUT LIKE BOTH OF YOU would secretly not be coping very well with it all. But neither of you would wanna say anything because you thought the other was so into the whole fruit and veg 101 thing. And then om f g you’d have to go out with a group of friends and everyone would be ordering really meaty dishes and you and calum would have to get some salad or some shit and both of you would be looking at everyone elses food and craving it so baDLY BUT THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD DO

So then when you had to go to the bathroom or something, you’d come back AND CALUM WOULD BE THERE TRYING SOME OF SOMEONE ELSE’S STEAK OMG. AND YOUR MOUTH WOULD DROP OPEN AND HE WOULD FREEZE AND OMFG  and he’d just be like, 'fuck, babe, I was just- I just- can- I-’ and you’d laugh and just, 'I need to try some too.’

and by the end of the night you both admitted that you were so not okay and you would just go to mcdonalds on the drive home and pig out bc yolo and tbh you’d burn it off when you had sex later anyway