okay now i will go study

A letter to my freshman self
  • No, sweetheart, you don’t hate being in the science stream, you just hate how all the subjects are presented. Science is fucking amazing, and you’ll come to love chemistry in particular when you finally get a good teacher in senior year. So yeah, I know it kinda sucks now because it feels like you’re being forced to study something that isn’t your passion, but stick with it. You’ll come around to finding worth in them too.
  • Be sure of yourself. I know that you’re going through a period where you’re still learning how to define your own identity, but when push comes to shove, you know yourself best. It’s totally okay that you don’t want to take add maths, even against the better judgement of your teachers and everyone else. Dropping it a year before finals is a lot better than quitting halfway through senior year (which in the end you did anyway).
  • Adopt a growth mindset, and not just for your studies. For your writing, your poetry, your piano, every fucking thing under the sun you can think of  – know that no one was born having innate skill and talent. 

“All of these things come from hard work and that they are composed of a multitude of different things like self control, and empathy, and like, just building and re-enforcing neural pathways over and over again; and those are all things that psychology has proven are malleable.” – Hank Green

  • Yes, it’s okay to want to do something just because your friends are doing it too.
  • Joining the prefectorial board is also one of the best decisions you will ever make.
  • No matter how much you hate school right now, you’re gonna miss it once you’re out. Man, I wouldn’t have believed this either if I didn’t experience it myself. The comfort of settling into a meaningful routine, the feeling of purpose you get in your free time when you actually take the time out to study, your classmates (no matter how much they annoy you) and the memories you share… There’s just no replacing that.
  • I’m only going to say this once, so listen carefully. It’s important, this one. You will be okay. Everything that you’re currently stressing out over – finals (and seemingly impending doom), broken relationships, your youth group, your future – these things will come to pass. They’re by no means insurmountable. You give yourself a lot of shit for always slacking off, but it’s going to be okay. Despite what your anxiety tells you. Don’t sweat the small stuff, kiddo. You’re doing just fine.

favorite things my intro lit professor said this past semester, with no context:

  • “today we’re handing out an award for the worst Bible father”
  • “ah, my son, go fuck yourself”
  • “someone else read, I’m tired of hearing the sound of my own voice. I’m kidding, that will never happen. but seriously. someone.” 
  • “okay! phallus doesn’t work, gotta have a life now”
  • “I would have loved if Santa Claus was a poet, he would have written some wild Freudian Rudolph poems”
  • “it’s parching time”
  • “don’t talk to me about Barbie Rapunzel. I’ve watched Barbie Rapunzel four times.”
  • “if you’re gonna get flayed, it might as well be elaborate”
  • “come on guys I too am tired and hungry but this class is going to be so boring if none of you talk”
  • “and Quilty won the internet that day”
  • “I see them now, all of your little post-it notes of hate”

( ̄▽+ ̄*) stress relief scribbles lmao

Too Bad

But it’s too sweet.

Request : By @jjangjade :  May I request an angsty(???)/smut scenario wherein y/n falls in love with taehyung, y/n’s mother’s ex-fiancée’s son? buT Y/N AND TAE AREN’T RELATED AT ALL LOL, but y/n’s mom finds out and wants her to break up with tae, so she run’s away to tae’s house. 

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

A/N: Helloooww, so, hmmm, I’m really sorry this took me so long to write. I had a lot of free time today so I decided to get this one out. I’m sorry if it seems a little bit rushed and unpolished, I just wanted to get something out because I won’t be able to for a little while. I still hope you enjoy it. Also, please excuse any typos I don’t have the time to proofread it right now but I’ll surely do it later.

Genre: Angst/Fluff/Smut.

Word count: 3.4K Words.

Warnings: Other than the sexual stuff I don’t think there are any.

“Break up with him.” Your mom spoke out of the blue. You felt that something was wrong when she picked you up from your late night classes and, for someone as talkative as your mother, didn’t say anything.

“W-what do you mean?” You couldn’t deny that it caught you off guard. It was inevitable for her to eventually figure out your secret relationship with Taehyung. You weren’t that discreet with it in any way and she must’ve seen the two of you at some point that day.

“Don’t mock me, Y/N, You know very well what I mean. End it.”  She didn’t even glance at you, keeping her attention on the road alone, which would’ve angered you – How casually she spoke – if you weren’t so shocked.

You had a whole speech ready. You’ve thought of this moment over and over again through the past few months that you’ve been with him. However, being put face to face with it, you found yourself wordless and frozen in place.

“But..mom-” The car suddenly stopped and she finally turned to look at you. Her glare would be enough to kill, if only looks were capable of it.

“No buts.” She paused for a moment waiting for you to agree or even just nod but you didn’t make a move. “You do as I say!” The tone in your mother’s voice became even more severe that you flinched away.

You couldn’t agree to do as she said because you were too deeply in love with the boy that the mere supposition of being apart from him made your heart drop. But, you couldn’t say no either because Taehyung wasn’t just anyone.

When you found your mother silently sobbing in the dark kitchen one night telling you that her engagement was off, you couldn’t help but feel a little relief. During the time that she dragged you around while preparing for her big day, you found yourself falling for the groom’s son. So, even though you never thought you would be the kind of daughter that would rejoice in her mother’s misery, you were happy when Taehyung was no longer going to be your new family. At least not that way.

He, as well, seemed to share the same feelings and the secretive relationship between the two of you started. At first it was just exchanging glances then shyly looking away, then subtle flirting from across the diner table, then holding hands under said diner table, to finally declaring that you wanted to be more. But, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her.

Mainly because she forbid you from even being friends with him, let alone lovers.

“Why can’t you just move on? And let me be happy?” Your reply surprised her. She expected you to understand why it was wrong for the two of you to be together, although the reason was a little fuzzy in her brain as well, and you did – which is why you kept it a secret-. She expected you to be on her side and dating Taehyung meant you were on theirs.

“How can you do this to me? Especially after what his father did.”

“Stop it! You and I both know he left you because you’re a control freak.” As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. But the ringing in your ear from her hand striking your cheek kept you from thinking too much about it.

“Get out of the car. Right now.”

“Gladly.” You slammed the door and she drove away without hesitation. Tears were already filling your eyes when you realized you had nowhere to go. You needed to vent out your frustration to someone and Taehyung seemed like the perfect person for it, considering it was partially his fault.

His phone kept ringing but he didn’t pick up which made you even more angry. You were closer to his house so you decided to go there for now and not think of anything else. Especially how scared you were from having to walk alone at night.

Hey, what’s wrong? You called me ten times.” You sighed when he finally called back, hearing his deep voice making you calm down and feel a lot safer.

“Where were you?”

In the shower. Sorry, babe.”

“It’s okay. Can you please open the door? I’m outside your house.”

What?!” You heard shuffling coming from inside the house then the door was pushed open. Taehyung shivered when the cold breeze met his dampened hair but his attention was on you. He noticed the tear stained cheeks and reddened eyes and started feeling worried. “What happened?”

“I-” You couldn’t get another word out before your voice broke into a loud sob and you started crying again. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around you to let you cry against his chest. His mind was panicking but he tried to keep his calm until you regained yours.

“Let’s go inside, okay?” Taehyung wiped the new tears with his thumbs with a soft smile, pecking both your cheeks, before taking your hand in his and leading you into the house. When he closed the door, keeping the cold outside, his arms were back around you until you finally stopped crying.

“Better?” He pulled away to look at you, hating how puffy your eyes were and how cold your body felt against his, “Now, can you tell me what happened?”

“She told me to break up with you,” You took a deep breath, clearing your throat, “I said…something hurtful and she kicked me out.”

“She-” Taehyung felt an inexplicable anger, mostly at himself, that you had to go through it. “It’s okay. It’ll get better.”

“I’m not breaking up with you.” You shook your head, new tears threatening to fall again, with determination and he nodded brushing the back of his hand on your cheek and smiled,

“I’m not either. I love you, okay? we’ll get through this.” He always had a way to make everything feel better and you chose to believe him.


“He’s in the study. Wait here I’-” He went to move away but you gripped his shirt bringing him back to you.

“No, can we just..not tell him? I’m not ready to face him too tonight.” He stared at you for a moment before nodding again.

“Sure, babe. Let’s just go to my room. I’ll tell him in the morning.” You already knew where everything was from the numerous times you’ve been in their house, though it was the first time since their break-up.

Taehyung sat you down on the bed, resting his chin on your knees  as he crossed his legs on the floor, looking up at you. He examined your features with a soft glow in his eyes, one of pure affection.

“Do you feel better now?” He asked while you absentmindedly played with his hair. Your hand stilled and you nodded letting a small smile pull at your lips,

“Now that I’m with you, I do.” He couldn’t help the slight blushing of his cheeks at your words. He was never good with words so, most of the time, he hoped his presence was comfort enough and that was the confirmation he needed.

Silence took over again and you settled for just sitting there with his warmth close to you, your eyes gazing into one another speaking everything that couldn’t be said. And everything that you couldn’t formulate into words. You sighed looking away,

“I’m sorry, Tae.” His eyebrows knotted together waiting for you to explain since he couldn’t think of anything worth an apology, especially on your side, “I’m sorry that I just made it a lot harder for us. If I just stayed quiet then she wouldn-…she will never accept us now.”. New tears threatened to fall and Taehyung felt alarmed with how you voice cracked at the end.

“Hey, hey, look at me..” He sat up on his knees to cup your face, making you look at him, “We knew it was going to hard from day one but we also knew that we could make it through. No matter what happens, I won’t let you go. I promise.” He pushed forward to plant a peck to each of your eyes, tasting the saltiness of your tears on his lips once he pulled away “Do you trust me?”.

“More than I should.” You shrugged and his smile grew wider,

“Then you know that I will do whatever it takes so you wouldn’t have to cry anymore.” The sincerity in his voice was over whelming and the only way for you to show the same was by pressing your lips to his.

“Just don’t break my heart.” You mumbled against his mouth and he sniggered,

“Wouldn’t even dare.” He captured your lower lip gently between his teeth relishing in the small whimper you let out before tilting your head to deepen the kiss. What started out as an innocently – debatable – kiss slowly became more desperate. Your arms wrapped around his neck and knees parted so he could get closer to you, you kissed Taeyung with all your might. And considering how long you’ve both been holding back, craving, the intimacy that you couldn’t get, no wonder he soon pushed you up the bed eagerly.

His tongue licked into your mouth, tracing around yours, before he stilled pulling up to look at you when you let your hips grind up to meet his,

“Y/N…” There was hesitation in his voice, maybe had been too taken by the heat of the moment that he lost his senses, as he hovered over you supporting himself up on his palms.

“I know. I want to.” Sharing that moment with a indescribable bubbling happiness growing inside, you breathed in each other’s breath silently enjoying it. “Please…I want you.”

Now how could he refuse such a request?  

Taehyung kissed up your stomach to your chest as he pulled your shirt away from your body, letting you sit up so he can get it over your head, then connecting your lips once again. His hands were soon back on your body again, praising every spot he reaches with soft touches and breathtaking pecks, trailing down to your jeans. You let out a shaken breath when he pressed his thigh against your clothed heat as he sat up to help you out of your jeans.

It was shamelessly done, the way your lips were parted and hands reached for his own zipper. You were shameless for him, only for him, and incredibly eager.

Soon enough, he was back to sucking deep set marks onto your neck and collarbone once both of your clothes were thrown somewhere to the ground, leaving you bare in all ways. Your fingers gripped his hair, back arching towards him when he roughly bit down on your earlobe.

“You’re so beautiful-fuck-” He cursed, trying to be quiet, when your free hand gripped his erection, pre-cum already leaking out the tip, “So fucking good for me.”.

“Just for you.” You panted out squirming when he finally ran his fingers through your folds, deliberately missing your clit, until they were lubricated enough to let one slip inside.

“Then let me thank you.” And, again, he was kissing down your torso, making you spread your legs even wider, and seating himself between them. You almost choked on your own breath when you felt his tongue on you, rolling and flickering over your core in the most obscenely sensual way. You gripped the sheets tightly to stop yourself from moaning out, because you had to be quiet after all. Knowing that you weren’t alone in the house and the need to keep it down, only made it even harder to actually be quiet. You found it even more challenging with Taehyung already knuckles deep inside of you, pumping in and out just as his tongue kept tracing random patterns over your clit.

Sweat was already making your body shine against the faint light and small shivers spread through your veins starting to feel the heat pooling down your lower stomach making you clench around his fingers.

Taehyung looked up at you from between your legs, deep darkness staring back at you. That sight alone could be enough to have you unfolding under his touch. He no longer looked like your adorable boyfriend of three minutes ago, something about the smirk that was evident in his gaze and in how he was hungrily drinking all your lustful expressions made your heart tighten, pulsing more blood into your veins. You were burning up and it felt too slow for your needs,

“Tae-ah-I want you inside me -now- ” You let out between short breaths and he didn’t need to be told twice. Taehyung pulled his fingers out of you, watching as you clenched around nothing seeking for him again. You covered your face at the words that you never thought would be saying, but desperation had its ways.

“Move your arms, baby. I want to see you.” His voice was deeper than usual, even more captivating than usual so you easily submitted. “God, I can never get used to how gorgeous you are.” He bend down to capture your lips again, unable to pull away for too long, and whispered in your ear – as if you weren’t impatient already- “Say you want me again,” He bit down on your lower lip, adjusting himself between your legs.

“Tae…” You could feel his dick twitching against your entrance and you knew he couldn’t ignore it any longer either.

“Come on, princess, tell me what do you want.”

“I want you to fuck me.” you couldn’t believe the words out of your own mouth. But desperation has its ways.

“Ready?” He asked for a final time and you nodded earnestly as if telling to just hurry up. Taehyung lined himself up with your entrance already feeling the warmth radiating from it, let the head slowly breach inside and stilled for a moment letting you adjust, then -in on swift movement- pushed the rest of his length deep into you. You gasped, back arching off the bed towards him, as he started out with shallow and controlled thrusts wary not to hurt you.

The way you moaned hoarsely every time he grind his hips up into you, feeling you tightening around him with every push, made Taehyung want to completely wreck you until you were chanting his name alone, crying out for him to take you. It was a dominant side of him that he never knew was even there until now.

The slow pace he maintained from the start was no longer enough for him, it only took a small whisper of what sounded like more from your parted lips for him to pull almost all the way out then thrust roughly back. A low grunt left his throat as his thrust became harder, picking up the pace, and soon he was pounding into you restlessly.

Your moans, sweat, and your passion mixed together into a blurry mess and soon you felt yourself losing it. He followed right after with a muffled cry of pleasure that he silenced against your hair, hugging your body tightly to his.

You don’t know how much time you spent tangled in each other’s embrace under the sheets but it was never long enough and the moment he stood away taking away the warmth with him, you were already craving it again. You knew that it will be even harder to stay away from him from that moment on, and you didn’t mind.

Taehyung moved away to his closet taking out a pair of gray sweatpants and a loose black shirt, both neatly folded, and put them on the edge of the bed. “Put these on. I’m going to get you a cup of water, okay?”. The adorable smile was back again and you couldn’t decide which expression you liked more since everything he did was too captivating in its own way. How on earth will you be able to break up with him?  

You won’t. That’s the easier answer.

You woke up to the sound of laughter coming from outside the room and an empty space where Taehyung was on the bed. You rubbed your eyes remembering everything that happened the night before but didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about it because, now, you had to face his father.

You got up fixing your hair from its messy state then walked out the room, trying not to make it too obvious that you were feeling guilty about everything. However, your worries disappeared when you were met with the cheerful greeting’s of Taehyung’s father who seemed very very far from angry.

“Good morning, Y/N! Sit down, Tae begged me to make you pancakes.” He held up the pan that he most likely was threatening his son with and smiled, “So, I’m doing it. How did you sleep?”. There was something in his tone that showed he knew, also how Taehyung became paler than a piece of paper, your cheeks heated up and you buried your face in your hands moving to the table.

“Dad!” Taehyung whined hitting his father’s arm out of frustration.

“What? I just asked how she slept, what did-”

“Oh my god, just kill me.” Taehyung’s shoulders slumped as he joined you. You got closer to him, the glare evident in your eyes, and whispered “I’ll kill you if he doesn’t.”

“So, Tae here told me you’ve been dating for a while.” You froze reminded that not all was well.

“Please don’t tell us to break up.” You cut him him, thinking it was best to say it first before he does, since you knew it was coming. The man turned around to look at you, dumbfounded,

“Break up? Why would I say that?”

“Because you and…my mom-” He laughed but it didn’t sound like he was mocking you, more like you were mocking him.

“Honey, what happened between me and your mother is in the past. I’m just glad he found someone to love.” He brought two mugs to the table, putting one in front of you and the other for Taehyung, “It’s an upgrade from that barbie doll he keeps under his bed. Believe me I’m very happy.”.

“He what?” Laughter errupted in the small kitchen as Taehyung’s cheeks seemed to grow redder by the second.

“That was so long ago and you promised not to tell anyone!” Taehyung jumped up trying to tackle his father to the ground, who just laughed pushing him off easily. “Don’t believe him, Y/N, I can explain.”.

Happiness. That’s what you felt listening to Taehyung’s blabber. It was like a bubbly sensation of butterflies in your stomach that you missed. However, it wasn’t going to last, you were aware of it. At some point you will have to face reality again once the laughter died down.

You were all sitting down when a serious expression took over the elder’s face, “Your mom called, she asked if you were here. I told her not to worry but..you know how she is.”. Taehyung took your hand in his and you smiled up at him, trying to hide the sadness. “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want but you have to talk to her. She’s sorry.”

“She’ll never understand.” You sighed, wishing you could put that small piece of happiness on rewind forever and not have to deal with anything else.

“I’m sure she will. She was young and in love too. Just give her time and she’ll come around.” Taehyung’s dad, just like his son, always knew the right words to say to make things seem better than they actually are. “She’s a good person.” He added after a deep sigh and you could see a faint regret in his eyes.

“Just like you.” Taehyung squeezed your hand tightly, leaning to peck your cheek. His father let out a disgusted grunt and soon laughter took over again. You pushed all your thoughts aside to just enjoy the moment. For the time being, that’s all you could do because if it was time that your mother needed to agree to your relationship then you had enough of it to give her.

You still had Taehyung to make the wait easier for you to handle and he wasn’t going to give up on you so why would you?

Ahhhhhhhh…I’m sorry xD 

hey sooooOo finals are right around the corner and I thought making a masterpost of my finals tips might be helpful to some!! (icon is from @studyblrsab, thanks!!) okay sooo lets begin!

1. Try to start at least a week early + revive your old study materials!

  • If you start at least a week early, it won’t be as bad as cramming!! TRY NOT TO CRAM THE NIGHT BEFORE. PLEASE.
  • Bring out those mind maps, study guides, flashcards, notes, etc because they are going to come in hand right now! If you do not have any of these items pre-made (which is okay), start making them to study for your final. Rewriting the information and such will help you recall it and be a form of studying in itself.

2. Identify where your weaknesses were during the semester.

  • Honestly, I believe that if you already know the information for a certain unit/topic, then you shouldn’t spend more time studying it. So, I pinpoint my weaknesses in that subject and focus more on those than the topics I already thoroughly understand. But do what works for you!! We’re 2 completely different people. 

3. Create a realistic study schedule!

  • I’m not gonna tell you how much you study because its not about how long, but how efficiently you retain the information. Work smarter, not harder. With that said, don’t just look at a paper for 5 seconds and expect to know something after! I would aim for at least 30 minutes of study time each day. If it helps, do the Pomodoro technique with your own custom time intervals. 

4. If you want to study on the go…

  • Condense your notes onto index cards!! Compacting it onto an index card (or two, or three, etc) will make it easier to carry around instead of a notebook or textbook. 
  • Putting it onto index cards will also supply you with the ability to memorize information in smaller chunks, as well. This tends to make it easier to learn the information in small chunks instead of one, big chunk.

5. For English/Literature classes…

  • Make an alphabet for the books you read throughout the semester/year. Associate each letter of the alphabet with something from the book. 
  • For example for Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte we did: 
    • G- Gothic Literature
    • H- Heathcliff, Hareton + Catherine
    • and etc etc. Its a cool and fun way to remember the story, while also making it easy to remember!!

6. This is hard but, try to get sleep and eat well before your exams!! You cannot think when you are hungry. I know I can’t. All I think about is what I’m gonna eat after haha. 

7. Practice self care!! Check out my self care tag and find ways to destress. Whether its exercise, writing, hanging out with friends, or just taking a nap, you also want to make sure your mental health is A1. Its okay if you don’t study because you just mentally and emotionally can’t. Its okaaaaay. 

I hope these tips helped some!! Please let me know what you thought of this master post and good luck to everyone who has finals coming up! xoxo

Everyone in college, going to college, or wants to go to college someday: I'm a graduating senior, and I have one favor to ask of you.

Go to more talks.

In your field, far out of your field go to as many talks as you can.

Sometimes you’ll have good excuses. I know I did. I’m not going to skip classes that I’m paying for, and I can’t miss lab meeting because something cool popped up Thursday at 4. I know you can’t either - I get that.

Sometimes I had /okay/ excuses. I have to study for orgo one more hour. I want to relax tomorrow, so I’ll do more work tonight. It happens.

Sometimes I had garbage excuses. I’m tired. The Bachelor is on. I’m playing on my phone, so time slipped away from me, and now I’m actually going to do work.

PLEASE go to talks. Learn from people doing what you want to do. Learn from people who have a career you didn’t know existed. Learn from physicists, sociologists, activists, grad students, Nobel laureates, your peers.

I’ve never regretted going to a talk. I had no clue what was going on sometimes, sure. But not ONCE have i left the room thinking “What a waste of time.” You know what is a waste of time? Playing on your phone til time slips away.

This is my biggest regret as I approach graduation. So here’s my request of you: please go to talks. For me. And when you realize it’s wonderful, engaging, challenging, and rewarding, please do it for you.


  • there have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous cream pies you can just smash in someone’s face, but this is definitely one of them.
  • if you need some love, get a hooker. ’  
  • i’m the perfect storm of caffeine and genetics
  • red meat kills, enjoy.
  • i can go from zero to studying in less than sixty seconds.
  • i don’t think you had a childhood. i think you came out a bitter, surly killjoy.
  •  are you going to kiss me now? you are so incredibly predictable.
  • okay, see, last night when i said to you: “tomorrow, no matter what, make sure i get up at seven,” what i actually meant was: “tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up seven, in case, when seven comes, I actually wanna get up.” which, as it happens, I didn’t. 
  • that’s the last time i buy something just because it’s furry.
  • give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. i need some heroes.
  • jerk! ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, low-life, butt-face, miscreant ! ’
  • this town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
  • i think it’s good to be adopted. if you get sick of them, you just dump this set and go find the originals. ’ 
  • i love you, you idiot ! ’ 
  • now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? well, don’t do it. i did it once and i had nightmares for a week. bulgarians in speedos. ’ 
  • i feel like a used car.
  • my life stinks. hey, let’s look into each other’s eyes and say “i wish i were you” at exactly the same time - maybe we’ll pull a freaky friday. ’ 
  • i just… like to see you happy.
  • it’s a friday night. we should be out, i don’t know, partying with the homies.
  • i can’t date. i’m not genetically set up for it.
  • ‘ god, you’re like a pop-up book from hell !
  • you lost me at carrots, which was the first draft of ‘you had me at hello’. ’
  • every day that you breathe you make my life harder. ’ 
  • dude, what’s a bulwark?
  • ladies never get their own eggrolls. ladies never get their own anything. they don’t even get their own ideas. ’
  • you can’t always control who you’re attracted to, you know? i think the whole angelina jolie/billy bob thornton thing really proves that.
  • only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch !
  • i pierced my nose. and within an hour of having it done, my nose swelled up to four times its normal size, blocking all nasal passage, making it impossible to breathe. i went to the emergency room, where they pried the thing out of my nose and shot me up with antibiotics. i spent the night with an ice pack strapped to my face. ’ 
  • it takes a remarkable person to inspire all of this. ’ 
so you’ve had a bad semester: how to recover and get ready for a fresh start

everyone has bad semesters. everyone. there will come a point in time where you will have a tough professor, or a lot going on at home, or a lot going on with your health, or a lot going on at work. i’m here to tell you that it’s okay. it is so okay to have that bad semester! your gpa will recover. you will recover! right now, you might feel awful and like a failure, but i’m living proof that goofing up is not the end of the world.

in high school, i had a pretty high gpa, was in my school’s ib diploma programme, and did consistently well in school. some semesters were straight As, some were As and Bs, but i never got anything below a B despite struggling with some pretty bad anxiety.

for college i moved two hours away from home to a school full of strangers. this was horrible for my social anxiety and slowly my grades began to slip by. my first semester i made the classic, freshman mistake of thinking, “i can just read the textbook and teach myself” for one of my classes. so i stopped going. i failed that class and got a D in the lab that went along with it.

every semester following that one was a big struggle for me. i got at least a C every semester and i’ve since failed four or five more classes (i try to not think about it too much). over the past year things got incredibly bad–so bad that i had to change my major (accounting) to something ‘less hard and learning-based’ (english lit, which i excel at with minimal effort). this semester i went to counseling services, got diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and have started taking steps to getting both of those things under control.

this semester i got all As and Bs again. i made the dean’s list for the first time.

so, let me get to the meat of this post. here are a few tips and tricks i’ve learned over the years to recuperate after a tough semester.

  1. accept responsibility, but don’t beat yourself up about it. it’s easy to get trapped in hysterically saying ‘i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up’. this cycle is not healthy nor is it effective. to recover and move on from this semester, so you can look towards a brighter future, you have to get your head out of the past. take a few deep breaths. acknowledge that you didn’t do well, but also acknowledge that you have the capacity to do better next semester. one bad grade (or one semester of bad grades) does not make you a bad student.
  2. examine what happened. it’s hard to look back on your failures and relive the horrors of a bad semester- trust me, i know. but it’s important to look at the class(es) you did poorly in and figure out why you had a hard time. did you struggle with going to class? was it an online class and you frequently forgot to turn in assignments? did the professor’s teaching methods not work will with what kind of learner you are? did you study enough? was the class simply hard? try to figure out the factor(s) that contributed to your unsatisfactory grade.
  3. come up with a game plan. after identifying what went wrong last semester, it’s time to figure out how to resolve each issue you’ve discovered. here are some examples:
    - if you are struggling with mental illness, i highly, highly suggest you seek help from your university’s counseling services (which should be free) or your high school counselor. letting mental illness fester because you think it will go away or that you’ll be able to get it under control can really hurt you later on. if you can’t seek professional help, do what research online you can to find coping mechanisms and rituals you can go through to help you.
    - if you had a hard time understanding the professor, arranging a meeting with them or e-mailing back and forth with them can be very helpful if not a little embarrassing at first. your professor will commend you for reaching out to them for advice after doing poorly. if you have to repeat their class, you can even start building a repertoire with them before the new semester begins.
    - if you had a hard time staying focused in class, consider recording your professor if you are in a lecture-heavy class. it’s impossible to write down everything they say- if you try, you’re likely to miss something important. instead, write down what key concepts they stress in class- sometimes professors will even say outright ‘this will be on your next exam’- and go over details later. be sure to get your professor’s permission to record them!!! just a little voice recorder will do.
    - if you had a heavy course load this semester and felt overwhelmed, make an appointment with your academic adviser. discuss what was successful and unsuccessful this semester. let them help you plan out future semesters- advisers frequently have a lot of info on different courses and professors and know which courses are more challenging. build a schedule that has a balance of challenging and not-so-challenging courses. it is okay to drop to 12 credit hours (or even below)! don’t let the graduate-in-four-years formula hurt you. it’s best to take your time and do well than to try to rush and do poorly.
  4. step back. take time to yourself. don’t obsess over school. read that book series you’ve been wanting to read, or go out with friends, or play that video game you’ve been itching to try. get lost in enjoying yourself for a little while. just because you didn’t do well in school this semester doesn’t mean you should punish yourself.
  5. think positively. i admit, this piece of advice is a little hokey, but that doesn’t make it any less important. if you think that you aren’t going to do well this semester, you are likely setting yourself up to do poorly. believing that you can do well this next semester will help you to stay positive and stay on track. when things get tough, you’ll be able to say that you are tougher, and push through.
  6. find a support system. other friends in your major can often give you advice on what professors to take, or how to do well in certain classes. these friends can also be great support systems when you don’t do well. the sense of ‘everyone’s been there’ can be comforting without condoning slacking off.
  7. go into the next semester prepared. this goes along with having a game plan. e-mail your professors ahead of time to ask for the first unit’s powerpoints, or for syllabi, or textbook lists. ask them what they believe will help you get an A or otherwise do as best as possible in their courses. take mental health days off during the break between semesters so you go into the semester will a clear head and a lot of determination.
  8. keep trying. just because you haven’t done well once doesn’t mean you can’t do well the second time around. if the courses you’re taking this semester seem difficult, don’t let that intimidate you into thinking you would fail anyway. keep studying and keep revising until you get the concepts- or until you have felt like you have done all that you can do. giving up is easy. don’t do what’s easy (unless, of course, not doing what’s easy would negatively impact your health. health comes first).

there you have it! my tips for recovering after a less-than-stellar semester. if you need any advice or have more questions about this or college life, please don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask!

- KL

listen up freshman babies

on Twitter the #freshmanadvice is terrible and it’s mostly for hazing. but if you’re entering high school I have some advice for you.

• wash your face every night and take of all your makeup.

• do your homework as soon as you get home. I’m serious. I’ve only done it a couple times and I kill myself with all the work I put off.

• procrastination is inevitable but try to avoid it. I’ve had so many avoidable emotional breakdowns.

• if you need help, ask for it.

• study

• that boy/girl who is consuming you entire life right now, probably won’t matter in a couple years. it’ll be okay.

• don’t worry about not being asked to any dances, go with a pack a friends and look fly af. it’ll be okay.

• get involved in things. clubs. sports. theater. chorus. band. there is something for you.

• relax.

• almost every worksheet is online. seriously, just google the title. you’ll probably find it.

• sparknotes is your new best friend.

• the buddy system for notes/homework is always a good plan.

• your grades are important but breathe. you’ll survive even if you get a D on a test. if you don’t get straight A’s. it’ll all be okay.

• don’t date seniors. don’t do it.

• you can do it, it’s not as scary as it seems.

today, i’ve been crying all day. my mother, who is an arab, muslim immigrant and citizen of the united states for 27 years, and one of the strongest women i know, saw me when i was trying to study, but instead of words, there were tear drops on my paper. she sits down next to me and she asks me whats wrong. i tell her that im scared. she takes my hand and she says,
“i know. i know you’re scared. it sucks. it’s going to be hard and it’s up to God now. we’ve done our part. but now, prepare to fight. prepare to fight. your father and i raised three other kids for 12 years during the Bush presidency, okay? trump may be a modern day hitler, but he isn’t the first. it’s happening with the zionists to the palestinians. it’s happening in egypt. in yemen. in syria. but you fight. you know how? you study, you learn, you get good grades, and go to college. that’s how you fight. you beat them with your intelligence. if you die, you die. and it’s because God said it was your time. but you study and you prepare to fight.”

Last week of exams

Okay guys I have to tell you. This weekend there will be no pages.

I was gonna do three or so, because I need to study but I can still take breaks and stuff, so I thought I could do some pages.

But the teacher moved the exam to this next SUNDAY.


Uh…. thankfully, there’s just two exams left… I will compensate you guys, I promise. For now, I’ll just lay down and cry for a bit… then I’ll go back to my text book.

How to study when you’re feeling (extra) shitty

If you’re chronically ill and in school, you may have already figured out a system that works for you on most days. Even if that’s the case, sometimes a flare comes out of left field and you’re left scrambling. These are a few things that I’ve found helpful in surviving extra bad days during the school year. A lot of this also applies to acute illness whether you’re chronically ill or not.

Maybe don’t study

Are you going to make yourself feel worse if you study now? Is pushing through going to jeopardize your health? Are you just feeling too awful? If so, it’s okay to let things go for an hour, a day, a week, or longer.

You come first. Always.


Do you have PRN or OTC medications that can help with symptom management? Have you taken your daily meds? Do that before you try to do anything else. You’re going to be able to get a lot more done (not to mention the fact that you just plain won’t feel as miserable) if you take whatever medication you have available to you rather than trying to tough it out.

Check in with yourself

Have you gotten some sort of nutrition? Are you sufficiently hydrated? Do you need to close your eyes for a few? Do whatever is accessible to you in the moment to take care of yourself.


What absolutely has to be done now and what can wait until you’re closer to your baseline? 
Are there things that you can get an extension on? Professors that are more lenient with grading? Classes you have opportunities for extra credit in? Does it make sense to skip class and use those spoons to get work done? On the assignments that you have to get done now, is there anything that you feel comfortable doing a mediocre job on just to get it done?
 Figure out what’s the most important and go from there.


If you’re going to turn things in late, miss class, need an extension, or just want to give your professor a heads up that you’re not feeling great and X may happen as a result, shoot them an email. The sooner the better, but it’s infinitely preferable to send a last second email asking for an extension (or to send one after the fact) than not to send one at all. If you can, I’d also really recommend talking with your professor before there’s a problem, but if that’s not a possibility, don’t stress it.

If you feel like this is going to be a longer term issue, it’s a good idea to communicate with disability services and/or your advisor to see what your options are.

Get comfy (ish)

Find a study spot that you can work in effectively and make yourself as comfortable as possible. When my pain levels are high, I don’t like to work it public spaces where I have to sit upright and deal with the extra sensory input, so I usually get set up on my couch with a heating pad, my maternity pillow (these things are the best), and a lap desk. 

Maybe for you it makes sense to set yourself up in the bathroom so you don’t have to run back and forth every two seconds. Or maybe you need to work somewhere dark and quiet. There’s really no way to do this wrong, so play around and figure out what works for you.

Take breaks

A 10-2 system often works well for me, but this is another one where you really can’t do it wrong. Take as many breaks as you need for as long as you need them. Play around to find something that feels comfortable for you.

Be gentle with yourself

Didn’t get everything you wanted to done? That’s okay. Didn’t get anything at all done? That’s okay too. It’s okay to rest. Your well being is always the most important thing.

Happy studying!

Study Break

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader 

Genre: Smut 

Summary: The finales are close but being studying everyday making you feel really stressed.

A/N: *Pours holy water* 

You didn’t have to come” you said when you opened the door and saw your boyfriend in front of you smiling, showing his dimples.

And you should stop complaining and start studying” he said, entering and walking to the living room.

I’ve been studying all day! I’m tired now” you followed him to sit next to him. He had in his hands some of the papers you left in the table of what you were studying earlier.

Come on, jagi, it’s going to be over soon. Just a few days more. I’ll help you

You pouted and slide to the floor. “Okay”.

He kissed you on the top of your head and laughs “We’ll go whatever you want as soon as your exams are finished”.

I hope so! I’m working really hard!”

I know you are, so come on

He sat on the end of the sofa, leaning next to you, so he can put the papers on the table. Studying with him was nice, you really liked when he come to help you so you always put even more effort in it, but this time you were tired. You really were studying all day so you two can have free time in the afternoon.

Nams, come on” you said leaning your head so it rested on his leg.”It’s been almost half an hour”.

He pass his fingers through your hair and sighed. “You weren’t even concentrated

I already told you I’ve been studying all day!” you turned around to face him, leaning your face closer to his. “And I thought we could do something more fun this afternoon

He opened his eyes in surprise and put his hand in your cheek leaning even closer so his lips could almost touch yours. “Something more fun?” he laughted “I’m curious about what were your plans

Well, obviously it wasn’t being here sitting down studying” you stood up to sit down again, this time in his lap, with your legs around his waist.

He sighed trying to look serious, but he could hide the smirk on his face. “Don’t tell me you preffer being studying because I can kill you, you smarty idiot.”

He laughed, grabbing tou by your waist, pulling you even closer. “I’m just worried about you

I was studying all morning like a good girl, now I just want my reward” you smiled, leaning closer to kiss him. He didn’t do anything, he was just smiling. “Don’t tease, please? You hadn’t even kiss me when you arrived!

Keep reading

Okay so @preatorpercy has heard me rant for like 10 minutes now about Piper and she said I should just make it a post so here we go:

Piper is problematic, yes. she is, and quite frankly I don’t think we can find a character in the series that is pure and good. That’s one of the reasons we love this series so much.  Yet, we always seem to choose a character a year to vilify for the sake of discourse. I know Piper’s character isn’t being studied now but I’m going to go on anyway.

Piper is misogynistic. She has a ‘not like other girls’ mindset, and I related to that so much. I thought that way when I was 13, due to heavy insecurities and because I was 13 starting to see the world more. I’ve unlearned pretty much all of it, thankfully, but Piper hasn’t. There is no mention of friends before TLH (correct me if I’m wrong) and if she had them, none of them truly cared about her. She never had friends to help her through her insecurities, and growing up in LA there was a lot of competition bred against other girls. Whether it be by magazines, fashion billboards, just walking down Sunset Boulevard there was something. She grew up with that and never had people close to her to help her learn to deal with it and not take it out on herself.

When she says Jason is hers even if he doesn’t know it yet, yes that is possessive and gross. I won’t excuse that, at all. That being said, it comes from a place of such raw fear that it resonates with us. She never had her father around, no mother, her Dad’s manager and PA hated her. Jason is the only person besides Leo that stuck with her at all, and she clung to that too tightly. She is so terrified of being abandoned, and rightfully so. However, through the series, she learns to let Jason breath, and that is so important! She begins to learn!

Also, the blessing of Aphrodite was something that stuck with me. Piper is uncomfortable with all of the attention. Normally she has to lie cheat and steal for a sliver of it, and she did none of that fro all of the attention. She doesn’t know what to do with it.

Her charmspeak comes from desperation and ignorance, not enjoyment.

end of yoi ep9: sweet, heartfelt, beautiful OST, emotional reunion at the airport, makkachin is okay, i’m crying everything is beautiful and lovely and i’m at peace


Study Tips // Alexander

Prompt : a list of study tips from Alex.

Alright alright le'z go!!

[[ Alex ]]

- Try and study when you’re sleep or for the last 15 minutes you go to bed. Your brain will process to all night and you’ll wake up remembering it.
- Make a story or a rhyme with the information to help you remember it. When Esper was 4, she would repeat the sound ROYGBIV to remove the colours of the rainbow and she still remembers it now.
- You should study in a different place every day, it helps you a lot for some reason.
- After learning a new topic, quiz yourself. Find some questions online and take a test, see what score you got and you’ll soon knw if you need to keep studying or if you’re okay!
- Set yourself a study goal, for example ‘I’m going to study these three topics and get them right’ which will motivate you and when you’re done, treat yourself to something you like
- take small breaks every 20 minutes.
- listening to classical music van really help you study,  look up a piano loop on YouTube or the soundtrack to your favourite RPG.  Anything without words.
- Chew a unique flavoured gum while you study and take the same gum into the test with you - it will help you remember.