you: dazai completely changed his life around when he joined the ada and is now a good human being.
me, an intellectual: a key tenant of dazai’s character is his amorality (his indifference to what is right and what is wrong). the only reason he seems like a good person is because he decided to work for a good cause, that does not mean dazai is now a good person. he has still shown the ability (and willingness) to be callously manipulative, rely on immoral tactics to get results, and be complicit in murder. He also continues to lack remorse for the lives he took while in the mafia.
I hope you all have a great day tomorrow and that you keep smiling making every day as bright as possible. Thank you for all the hard work you’ve done, I’m very proud! Please always stay happy and healthy!
You should write a whole thing about why Nikolai is the best.
at first i was like “okay no i’m too sick to do this rn” but then i thought to myself “yo this is nikolai….. pull yourself together” so there ya go:
- a kind and loving soul - trapped in a terribly attractive body. a burden, truly… an actual literal curse… and he knows it. oh yes he does. - sometimes i lie at night and think that he still could have sided with the darkling but he didn’t?? he still chose to do the right thing?? like okay hear me out: nikolai’s always been drawn to power and that was made very clear throughout the series, his mind is constantly spinning and thinking of ways to help him ensure ravka’s good status which, well, can’t happen without some kind of dominance/power. and the darkling had that (even if it was based on fear rather than true loyalty) and sure, nikolai was in his sturmhond persona but he still could have dropped the act and made a pact with him to help him destroy the fold and rule ravka? (which would have cleared nikolai of all responsibilities and he would have been granted a free pass to do whatever he wanted with his life) and he didn’t. he couldn’t. you know why?? bc he’s a damn good person and a mothereffin’ boss that’s why - despite his royal bastard act and off-handed sarcasm, he’s ALWAYS been nothing but gentle and caring and JUST (especially towards alina but you already know that) - attentive!!!!!! and not just bc he has some secret agenda to either use or demolish alina (or her powers)!!!!! - never once tried to strip alina of her agency (on the contrary, he tried to emphasize it and bring out the best of her) - RESPECTFUL AF (literally never even tried to get into alina’s pants… the farthest he went was that kiss by the lake but he never pushed her or demanded smth more of her bc he was well aware that he - or anyone for that matter S M H!!!! - didn’t have ANY claim to her) - nikolai who was mocked and insulted his entire life - for being a bastard, for not being worthy of the throne, for being somewhat less than his stupid douchebag of a brother (when he was so obviously not), nikolai who everybody knew by a nickname given to him bc of his bastard status, sobachka, nikolai who later on was called ‘korol rezni’ bc of his scars and ppl never stopped gossiping behind his back, never!! N E V E R!!!! not O N C E!!!!!! lashed out at anyone - “he’s been kind when he might have been cruel” is probably the realest, most important line in tgt history and i’m saying this with a heart over my heart bc alina has some GREAT ones ones but this?? 10/10 hashtag #i kNOW - nikolai who remained calm and composed and fair when he found out how terrible the king really was - gave genya the justice she deserved, gave her the life she deserved, gave her a place to stay and work and be useful and didn’t give a damn about her looks, made her a part of the triumvirate bc of her skills and not bc of the things she’s been through and the thought to undermine or pity her in ANY way never even crossed his mind - smart as a whip (for real) - always puts the life and well-being of others before his own - literally sacrificed everything so his people could have something to look forward to, be grateful for, a better life for ravka - never pressed alina for anything even when he saw she was slipping away from him and choosing a different life like?? he stepped?? aside?? bc that was the right thing to do /even if it wasn’t smfuckingh/ - hides his insecurities and puts on a smile bc he knows his role and duties and he knows he has responsibilities and yes the crown is heavy but he’ll bear it - nikolai made sure none of the grisha who fought in the war were ignored, forgotten or left to live a poor life… even tamar & tolya who weren’t even ravkan citizens?? like yeah he knew them from his sturmhond days but they were free agents and yet he still wanted them by his side and welcomed them in his inner circle - even :) after :) everything :) he :) still :) visits :) alina :))))))) so she’s not lonely :))) or sad :))) and i can bet my goddamn earrings he makes sure she doesn’t feel underappreciated or miserable or less bc he doesn’t want her to feel the way he has - praised kaz (a kid he didn’t even know) for his wits and brilliance and was clearly delighted to see someone so smart and cunning a.k.a different classes who?? being condescending and acting superior wHERE???? what a Good - truly the best king ravka could hope for :))))))))))))
i hosted my very first drawpile today, infinite thanks to @vandyburger who guided me through setting it up!!! it was so much fun thank you so much to everyone who stopped by!!! here is what i worked on
Part 2!!! Sorry it took me so long!! Hope you like it!
Everyone adores Jim, just like you expected them too. You
had dressed him in a miniature version of his regular uniform, and several
ensigns had cooed at him as you walked.
“What do you want to eat, sweetheart?”
He looked up at you in shock, “I can pick?”
“Of course you can pick! If you are good, and eat
everything, I might be able to convince Bones to let us have some ice cream”
Jim’s eyes practically sparkled at the mention of ice cream,
“Can I have spaghetti, please?”
“Such good manners! Of course you can have some spaghetti!”
You plug the order into the replicator, making sure the
portion is child sized, “Do you want a meat ball?”
Jim gapped at you, “I can have spaghetti and a meatball?
Frank never lets me have that!”
You can feel your hatred for Frank almost double. You could
tell by the look on Jim’s face that Frank had taken away food as a punishment.
That was probably one of the reasons why Jim was so skinny.
“Of course you can have a meatball. What kind of juice would
Jim looked like he was about to cry over to prospect of
getting juice, immediately you crouch down, “What’s the matter? Did I say
something to upset you?”
Jim just sniffled and whipped his eyes. He then flung his
arms around your neck, hugging you as tightly as his little body could, “You’re
the best, Y/N! You’re the nicest grown-up ever!”
Tears build up in your own eyes at the thought that Jim had
never experienced kindness as a child that people had only ever been cruel to
him, and he had still turned out to be a ray of sunshine, “Thank you, Jimmy.
Now let’s yet the food to the table before it gets cold, okay?”
“I can help carry it. And … can I have apple juice?”
You smile, “Of course you can, sweetheart”
Once you get back to the table, most of the command crew is
already there. Sulu and Chekov are updating Spock on everything that had
happened while he was searching for a cure for Jim. Uhura was still down on the
plant and had sent a message saying that she would be spending the night down
there. Scotty was talking animatedly about one of the engineers setting a
console on fire while they were trying to fix some wiring.
“Hey Y/N” several people chorused
“This is Jimmy, he’s going to be joining us”
Chekov was the first one to greet their tiny captain,
“Hello! My name iz Pavel Chekov. You can call me Pavel”
“H-hello, Pavel” Jim stuttered, blushing under everyone’s
“It’s alright, lad. No need t’ be nervous. I’m Scotty”
“I’m Sulu. He’s right, we just want to get to know you, Jim”
“My name’s Jimmy, not Jim, Mr. Sulu. Only teachers call me
Jim” The little boy informed the helmsman before he dug into his dinner. You
try to hide a smile behind your glass, but you can tell by the look that Len
gives you that you aren’t very successful.
“Now that you are here, I would like to know when you intend
to inform Starfleet of the Captain’s predicament” Spock said turning to face
“I had no intention of informing Starfleet until after you
had a definite answer on whether or not this can be reversed” Your voice is
cool, daring one of the others to challenge your decision
Spock nodded, “I had assumed that would be your answer and
proceeded to inform Starfleet and Winona Kirk of the situation”
Everyone around you freezes, Bones turns to look at Spock, “Are
you out of your Vulcan mind?!?”
“I can assure you doctor …”
“You told him mother that he was a child again!! You idiot!
I can’t believe you! You know what she put him through, and you are just going
to hand him back to her!?!”
“Jim’s mother has the right to know what has occurred here”
Spock snapped, his face was still blank, but you could see that he was angry.
“You and your damn regulations” you snarl, “You did this to
him once too! Following your regulations you got his ship taken away from him,
and now Starfleet is going to try and take him away from us again!”
“STOP!!” Jimmy shout, “Stop fighting!!”
You turn to look at the four year old, but he has already
jumped up from the table and sprinted out of the mess hall.
“Len, we have to find him. He could get lot on the ship!”
“Y/N calm down, darlin’”
You whip back around, looking first at Spock and then at
your husband, “I was serious before. I will fight them for custody of Jim, and
I will leave Starfleet if I have too”
“Y/N no …”
You glance over at Pavel, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I won’t
let him go back to Frank, I have to take care of him. You all would be fine
without me anyway”
“McCoy would kill us! He would hypo us to death! He wouldn’t
have Jim to hypo anymore and he would turn on the rest of us!!” Sulu joked
You chuckle softly and turn back to Leonard, “I’m going to
go look for him. See if I can talk to him about what’s going to happen”
Len nodded, gently pulling you into a quick kiss, “Go get
You quickly wave at everyone before leaving, throwing one
last glare at Spock before you turn around and begin your search.
You eventually find Jim in Sickbay, surprisingly. He is
curled up under the bio bed in the far corner with a nest of blankets and gowns
as padding against the cold floor. You crouch down quietly, the two of you just
watching each other, until finally Jim holds his arms out for you to pick him
You gently set Jim on your hip, “I’m sorry for yelling,
Jim nuzzles into your shoulder, leaning his forehead against
the side of your neck, “I don’t like t when you yell, it’s scary. Your scary
when you’re angry, Y/N”
“I know, and I really didn’t mean to scare you so much.
Spock did something really stupid, and it made me really angry”
“If you were angry, why didn’t you hit him? Frank hits me
whenever he gets angry”
“It makes you a bad person if you hit someone while you are
angry. It makes you no better than the bad guys that we fight. The only time it
is okay to hit someone is if you are protecting yourself. Okay?”
Jim nodded quietly, “okay. ‘m really sleepy now. Can I go to
“Sure, Jimmy. You get to stay in my quarters tonight”
Jim pulled back and looked at you, “What about Bones?”
“He is going to stay there too!”
Jim seemed pleased with your answer and let you carry him to
the Command Deck, where your room was. Len was already there, and he had
replicated a child’s bed and set it up in their spare room. The two rooms
shared a bathroom, so people could walk form your room, through the bathroom,
and into Jim’s new room. You and Len would replicate more furniture and toys
for Jim tomorrow, but for now everyone was exhausted.
“I can sleep in here?”
“Yes Jimmy. This is your new bed, and your new room. If you
need us all you have to do is walk through the bathroom and you will be in our
Jim nods sleepily. You help him get dressed in his pajamas
and you lay him in bed. He is asleep before his head even touches the pillow.
You and Len walk back into your room, change, and instantly
fall asleep as well.
You wake up when you hear the bathroom door swish open. Jim
is standing there, rubbing as his eyes.
“Jimmy? Are you alright?”
Jim sniffles softly, “I had a nightmare, ‘bout Frank”
You coo softly, “Come here, honey. You can sleep with me and
Len grunted softly when he felt Jim crawl over him. Jim
hesitantly settled between the two of you, cuddling into your chest. “I can
“Yeah, Jimmy. You can sleep here. Tomorrow I would like you
to tell me about your dream, but for now we can just go to sleep. How does that
“Good” Jim mumbled sleepily, “Night, Y/N, night Bones”
Len puts his arm oven Jim, curling his fingers into your
hip, cocooning the child in both of your arms. You know that Len will help you
fight for Jim, you know that if it were up to the two of you, Jim would never
even mention Frank again. But for now all you can do is provide comfort to the
child, you can give him the love that he deserves.
“Good night, boys”
Your boys, your husband and now someone who could call your
son. You will do anything to keep them safe. Winona and Starfleet will have to
get through you if they even want a chance at touching Jim.