okay no my new favorite is the one on the far right

based on this suggestions blog.  warning:  these are pretty dark/angry  &  could be triggering to some people.  please be cautious before proceeding!!

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’
‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’
‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’
‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’
‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’
‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’
‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’
‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’
‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’
‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’
‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’
‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’
‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’
‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’
‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’
‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’
‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’
‘  i am fucking divine.  ’
‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’
‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’
‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’
‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’
‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’
‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’
‘  i bow to no man.  ’
‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’
‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’
‘  i cannot be saved.  ’
‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’
‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’
‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’
‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’
‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’
‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’
‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’
‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’
‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’
‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’
‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’
‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’
‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’
‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’
‘  i have no home anymore.  ’
‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’
‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’
‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’
‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’
‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’
‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’
‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’
‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’
‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’
‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’
‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’
‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’
‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’
‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’
‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’
‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’
‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’
‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’
‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’
‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’
‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’
‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’
‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’
‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’
‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’
‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’
‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’
‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’
‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’
‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’
‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’
‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’
‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’
‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’
‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’
‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’
‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’
‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’
‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’
‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’
‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’
‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’
‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’
‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’
‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’
‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’
‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’
‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’
‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’
‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’
‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’
‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’
‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’
‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’
‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

anonymous asked:

I need the story of the Underground Shakespearian Ring

Okay, so the school I went to for 9th grade had this really bizarre grading setup that I still don’t understand- for some reason, instead of the teachers writing up and grading tests and exams and the like, all the work was sent to an unknown third party for them to grade??? It made no sense.

Now, for the most part, the school had decent teachers, and they would just teach the curriculum correctly and then you wouldn’t run into problems with the grading. My English teacher was not one of those teachers.

So like, she hated me pretty early on- she was my homeroom teacher and thought it was disrespectful that I slept in homeroom in the mornings (I was on sleeping pills and they never wore off completely until around 10am), I never had the vocab homework in on time (someone kept breaking into my locker and stealing my vocab books I had to buy a new one like five times), she thought it was “inherently pessimistic and stuck up” when she caught me reading a book called ‘Ninth Grade Slays’ (it was about vampires, not her?), and during our Greek Mythology unit I kept correcting her about the name pronunciations of the gods (she pronounced Hephaestus as Hepatitis one time holy shit). 

Anyway, her feelings on me aside, her teaching skills were shoddy at best. But I had had way worse teachers, so had the rest of the class, and Greek myths are pretty straight-up in what’s going on, so no one really had trouble with the third-party tests.

Then we get to the Romeo and Juliet unit.

Now, fun fact: Shakespeare has always come pretty easily to me. Like, to the point where I sometimes forget/fail to understand that other people have an incredibly hard time translating his works. (I told this whole story to my friends in the school I went to for 10th/11th/12th grade and when the drama department put on ‘Midsummers Night Dream’ one year, more than half the cast tried to get me to translate their scripts and monologues for them lmao).

So, anyway, I’m just a girl, reading Romeo and Juliet and digging how it’s going…and then the teacher starts ‘translating’ it.

Um.

I cannot sift through all the bullshit this woman was spewing, but let’s just say that my favorite part is during Romeo’s spew about Rosaline, there’s one part where he says something like ‘with cupid’s arrow/she hath diane’s will’, and the teacher was taking this to mean Rosaline was a Super Lesbian who was breaking the law or something and running away with her lover Diane, which would be a rad storyline, sure, but like…I’m just raising my hand like “Um Ma’am, Diana is the Roman goddess of chastity. What Romeo meant is that she told him she’s sworn off love and is probably becoming a nun?” and this woman just got. So angry. Like, excuse me, you are a student, you’re here to learn, so you clearly don’t know anything about this (I read Romeo and Juliet for the first time in like preschool whoops). Anyway, she continues on making up her own plot to the play, and I…well I was basically Hermione Fucking Granger at this point I couldn’t just sit there and listen to someone be this wrong about something omfg??? She just got angrier and angrier and stopped calling on me after a while.

So for a couple lessons I’m just left to seethe quietly, but one day after class this girl I knew since grade school came up to me and was like “Could you…? Tell me what the hell we’re supposed to be learning?” and I didn’t even like her but I liked the validation of being someone’s Chosen Teacher so I wrote out a summary for her of everything we had covered so far so she could actually write a comprehendible essay for our homework that night.

But THEN the during the class when we got our essays back, she made a HUGE DEAL, like ‘oh Molly, it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve been failing this course material, now you have to drag your friends into it by trying to re-write the play?’ (l m a o). Like this bitch had literally tried to fight me on ‘Paris is the guy Juliet’s father wants her to marry’ and she didn’t even put a grade on my essay where I said the play only ended in tragedy because of how young and naïve the kids were, that if they had taken a breather and thought things through it probably would’ve been fine (it was a damn good essay and I stand by it). But anyway, she’s trying to make me out to my classmate’s as someone who’s trying to sabotage their education for laughs.

This backfired on her.

See, it dawned on people one by one, that she was only teaching the wrong material -> so they wouldn’t know the right material -> so when they eventually would take the exams they would only have her crazy answers -> which the third party graders wouldn’t know about -> everyone fails this course that’s like half the overall grade of the year.

Most students consider that a problem.

So suddenly the class has decided I’m the fucking Shakespeare Whisperer or something, and one by one start begging me for help. At first I was confused, because as I said, it’s so easy for me that I didn’t realize literally the entire class was lost out of their asses here. omfg. So I was really getting hassled here but I didn’t want my entire class to fail you know???? So I started meeting with people during study halls or texting them after school so they knew what was going on. And then they started telling people in this teacher’s other classes, including upperclassmen who were lost as fuck, so this was quickly spiraling out of control on my end, but overall people were really starting to understand the plays better!! So I was feeling really great.

But then, the teacher noticed that none of the homework getting handed in to her matched up with her crazy translations, and knew I was the sole person to blame (naturally). She literally tried to get me suspended over this, she went to the school’s disciplinarian!

Note: This guy, Mr. C, knew I was a God damn angel- my science class was off the charts, inappropriately awful, so every time one of our science teacher’s wanted to give the entire class detention, instead of calling Mr. C up to the class room as was the rule, they’d send me down to get him so he’d know to write up every student except for me. So when my English teacher dragged me in there he was looking her like “What on Earth could this girl have possibly done to piss you off?” 😂😂

And when she explained he looked at her for a very long moment, glanced at me with a signature ‘Office’ Reaction Face™ , turned back to her and was like “You want her suspended…for starting a study group?” and I was CHOKING.

So that really pissed her off and they started fighting and this was a very overworked and Done man so at some point he gave up and was like “I’m not suspending her but fine we can put a ban on the study group if you leave my office” omfg. So all the other students get notified and now they’re back to freaking out about the upcoming exams.

So like two days later, I’m at lunch, complaining about this to one of my friends who had a different English teacher and thus no problem, and I’m on this whole angry rant (Because I’m pissed, a bunch of kid’s grades are gonna get fucked up because of this! They just wanted to do well! I just wanted to help them!) and my friends staring at me quietly the whole time and when I finish I’m like “What?” and she’s just like “…Molly did you literally start up Dumbledore’s Army in our fucking school?” and I died on scene.

But then I started thinking about the comparison and I was like? You know fucking what? If Harry Potter can get those kids to pass their fucking DADA test I can help kids pass their fucking English Exam. Bring it the fuck on, Umbridge.

So I started Spreading The Word that anyone who needs help with their Shakespeare course can still get help, we just all need to meet up once to hash out the details. After some back and forth notes and deliberations, we ended up meeting in the school library, which was hilarious for a few reasons:

1) It was directly across the hall from this teacher’s classroom.

2) It was actually a converted janitors closet, way smaller than all the other classrooms, and there were like 50 people shoved in there; Not exactly an ideal Room of Requirement

3) The library carried no Shakespeare texts, but had the entire Harry Potter series on display to see when you first walked in

But anyway, despite the fact that we were literally three feet away from her door while we were doing this, our teacher was none the wiser of the meeting. We worked out a game plan- everyone writes out bullshit essays that align with what the teacher’s expecting. After she grades those and gives them back, they get them to me- slipping them in my locker, handing it to me discreetly in the halls or in another class, what have you. I then try to power through the dizzying amount of confusion radiating out of the teacher’s mouth and onto these papers, and more or less write out better translation of what was going on in whatever scene they covered, what the highlights they needed to know were, stuff like that, and then slip it back to them in similar discreet fashion (so the teacher/disciplinarian wouldn’t see me and get suspicious ; also because I was like 15 and wanted to feel like a super cool secret agent). They would then keep my copies and use them as study guides for the upcoming exams, where they would then answer all the questions correctly, the way the third party graders would mark correctly, and pass the exams + the bullshit essays would get them high marks in the teacher’s homework grades. The teacher never caught on to what was happening, just thought her students finally started paying attention to her.

All in all, it was a complicated mess, but it fucking worked. I don’t think anyone failed their exams that year. Will I ever be cooler? No. I think I fucking peaked when I was 15.

SU WANTED THEORY: The Pink Conspiracy; Homeworld Civil War Imminent!

Holy hell. Thanks to the Wanted special, we have a timeline granted a very rough timeline of the gem war, and now know around when Pink was shattered. 

According to Blue Zircon here, Rose Quartz and her terrifying renegade Pearl started the rebellion, then a few hundred years later, Pink is shattered. The way it’s explained, we don’t know if there was any more warring immediately following that, or if that’s what caused the order to evacuate before the Diamonds used the corruption song. For this theory, I’m going with the latter.

Then we’re hit with a bombshell;

Gemkind was lied to. Not just a huge bunch of the population. Gemkind.

The people of Homeworld were told the Earth was destroyed. From what we’ve seen so far, we can safely assume only the Diamonds and a select few elites know of the Earth’s existence. (Peridot, Jasper, the Rubies, etc), and by “the Diamond attack”, of course, they’re probably referencing this;

This changes everything. Why did they lie about the Earth? Besides the obvious; You’d want your people to think you’re all-powerful, what i mean is that’s quite a lie to keep up. Why go through all the trouble?

During The Trial, Blue Diamond makes clear the story everyone knows,  

But that’s impossible. Bismuth says in her debut, “It can cut a gem’s physical form in an instant, destroying the body, but never the gem.”.  Our only other eyewitness is Eyeball Ruby, who couldn’t tell Ame-Jasper apart from the real Jasper. 

She can’t tell Purple from Orange? Color plays such a huge role in their society, so important the Crystal Gems called themselves that because crystals have no color! It’s a symbol of their independence from the Diamond Authority. You’re telling me a war-hardened Ruby missed such an important detail as Jasper’s color? The others I can forgive, one of them didn’t even know who Pink Diamond was so we don’t know how new they are, but Eyeball? Is she colorblind?? Either way, we don’t know if she mistook whoever shattered Pink Diamond for Rose Quartz, or if Rose just used a different sword. Her testimony is unreliable.

Oh, and by the way?

What

the fuck

Is your problem Yellow D?

Yellow Diamond was clearly obstructing justice, and she lost it when Blue Zircon accused them of Pink’s shattering, almost as if the lawyer got too close. At first with her song “What’s the use of feeling Blue?” , we think Yellow Diamond wants to help Blue move on. But now that title’s double-meaning rings out to me and it scares me. “What’s the use of feeling, Blue?” Blue wants closure, not just the cheap revenge Yellow is offering her. Closure means knowing the truth so you can move on. If Yellow Diamond cares as much for Blue as she shows, why is she in such a rush to get Blue to bury this? You don’t just rush someone’s grieving. It’s clear Yellow doesn’t want her to know about something. 

Still not convinced? Look at Yellow Pearl here.

Wtf was that worried glance for? Since when does Yellow Pearl give a damn about anyone but her Diamond? That’s not a “oh shit are you okay Blue?” look, that’s a “Shit, are we screwed?” look.

Now. Personally, I never believed the rebellion was strong enough to fend off all 4 Diamonds and their homeworld forces alone. It never made sense, especially with Rose’s message of peace and Bismuth being bubbled for essentially advocating for murder. (though in these circumstances I really don’t blame her someone un-bubble my bb) Something’s wrong here.

Pink Diamond loved humans remember? Where did that come from? Sure, she plucked them up as trophies, but hold on. They’re not on display here, or in any way a display of her power. They’re kept nice and safe and com fortable, like pets. Rose Quartz didn’t understand the concept of love until Greg and her “fused” in the episode “We Need To Talk”, what if this was all Pink knew how to do? Would she have been fine seeing the Earth destroyed just to kill off Rose’s Rebellion? Blue doesn’t think so. Yellow Diamond does call it a “silly zoo” in her song after all, she doesn’t seem very supportive of Pink or Blue Diamond.  

Then there was this little scene.

Idk if anyone else has mentioned this, but I think Blue and Pink were in love. That’s what’s implied here, at least to me. They just paralleled Greg’s grief over Rose to Blue’s over Pink Diamond. That can’t be an accident.

What if Pink started to help Rose Quartz and the rebellion grew into such a threat that White Diamond needed her…removed? Rose did get her Pearl after all.

Listen fam, you can think whatever you want about our Pearl, she’s formerly White Diamond’s. Her gem’s in the right place. Rose would have needed someone on the inside to help her rebellion, and it would be a great show of power to say.. steal the Big Boss’s favorite slave?? The one servant White Diamond would have taken everywhere? Pearl must have known all of White’s secrets, and because of who White Diamond is, all of Homeworld’s secrets. All it would have taken is an offer of freedom. 

With Pink Diamond and White Pearl on her side, the Crystal Gems would have been a massive threat to Homeworld.

I think Pink Diamond’s shattering is a conspiracy that White and Yellow are keeping from Blue, because she and Pink were too close. They couldn’t allow Pink’s side to bolster the rebellion and start a gem civil war, so, Yellow and White found a way. Once Pink was shattered, they corrupted the survivors to silence any witnesses from the other side and pinned it on Rose Quartz to unify all of Gemkind against her and her Crystal Gems forever. They could accept the lie that the Earth was destroyed in a great retribution for their fallen Diamond, making her a martyr instead of a traitor and saving the Diamond Authority legacy.

Now, there’s the question of who. Well, White Pearl did betray White Diamond… wouldn’t it just be so poetic, to if not have Pink Pearl kill her master, not warn her about it?

Also, about what Yellow D said last..

Uh are you sure you want that Yellow D?  His mom started a rebellion. He has everything he needs right there now, plus, maybe an unlikely ally? 

i’ve been getting a lot of messages lately (and unsurprisingly, considering how unrepentantly i’ve been reblogging stuff from them) from followers asking me for podcast recommendations - and i love getting those so thank you, guys! - and i thought i’d make a masterpost of what i’ve both a) finished and b) enjoyed since i’ve started bingeing them.  and, as an extra added bonus, what has canonical lgbt+ representation (since i know what you guys are into [waggles eyebrows]).

1. the bright sessions

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is definitely the first podcast that i’ve fallen in love with as hard as my original gateway podcast: welcome to night vale.  it’s so well-written, the characters well-drawn, the premise fascinating - atypicals, or people with some sort of special ability, in therapy - and it’s such a positive story and experience that i can’t help but feel better on days i listen to it.  it really believes in humanity and that’s such a wonderful thing in this day and age.  plus, the voice acting is killer.

2. eos 10

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i don’t think it’s been officially confirmed that dr. dalias is, at the very least, bisexual (in fact, the official channels seem to be dancing around it, possibly so as not to spoil anything in the upcoming season), though it’s been hinted at plenty in story.  especially as i don’t know how else you can explain a supposedly “straight” male character getting called out on repeatedly thinking about a naked man during a group mind-link experience.  that aside, it is freaking hilarious.  the premise is doctors in space, one formerly drug-addicted doctor helping to stabilize a currently alcoholic one with amazing side characters including nurse jane johns and levi, a hypochondriac alien and deposed prince who seems to have a personal vendetta against wearing pants.  it’s well-acted, cleverly written and a freaking joy to listen too.  so funny and so smart, i can’t recommend it enough!

3. the penumbra podcast

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  so much queer representation it’s bananas.  this ask the creators got is actually pretty representative of their approach to the show, slyly funny and very gay.  our main character is a genderbending queer private investigator who’s lost his heart head over a sweet-smelling thief with a heart of gold and more aliases than jennifer garner, all set against a noir backdrop.  oh, and on mars.  yeah, you read all of that right.  there are a few awesome side stories as well, including a couple of horror ones (that have no effect on the main juno steel story line, so can be skipped - and the creators are VERY GOOD about warning what’s to come in the episode notes), as well as lesbian outlaws and a disabled knight.  there’s literally nothing not to love.  EXCEPT FOR HOW JUNO STEEL WON’T LET HIMSELF HAVE NICE THINGS.

4. the black tapes

hey, hi, if you’re into horror, suspense, creepery or demons, this is so very much for you.  the premise is that alex reagan, our host, begins a podcast to interview people with interesting professions.  she starts out with dr. richard strand, a paranormal investigator whose mission statement is to debunk all things paranormal.  he even has an institute that offers a one million dollar prize for proof of the paranormal, which he has never even come close to having to part with.  while alex is interviewing him, she comes across a handful of black vhs tapes: the only cases that strand hasn’t been able to definitively solve yet.  the technology to disprove these incidents simply hasn’t come far enough, in his opinion.  needless to say, she never moves on from dr. strand and the mystery of the black tapes.  each episode, alex investigates another of the black tapes and much later on realizes it’s possible that they’re all connected.  oh my god, i almost got chills just writing that, it’s so good, it’s so real, because dr. strand is such a good anchor to reality.  alex will occasionally lose her skeptic’s perspective; dr. strand does not.  and once alex starts experiencing intense insomnia, making you realize your narrator might not be so reliable?  things somehow manage to get even murkier.  i really, really adored this one.  it’s paranormal set in the most normal of normal worlds, only making it that much spookier.

5. wooden overcoats

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, if you’ve ever watched black books?  this is kind of like black books, aka one of my all-time favorite shows.  rudyard funn is just as incapable and universally disliked as bernard black, which was all well and good when the village of piffling vale (which is very nearly a town, you know!) only had one funeral home to choose from.  unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore.  eric chapman has moved his funeral home right across the street and stolen all the business from rudyard, his embalmer (cum part-owner) and twin sister, antigone, and georgie, their assistant.  to add insult to injury, he’s charming and universally adored by everyone except those at funn funerals.  very british, very ridiculous, and very funny!  WE GET THE BODY IN THE COFFIN IN THE GROUND ON TIME.  (well, like that one time they did.  [coughs])

6. ars pardoxica

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i listened to this one pretty slowly, for me.  it’s very much plot over character, at least in my opinion.  which is fair since there’s quite a lot of plot and set dressing to establish.  we’re following (dr.) sally grissom, a scientist from the twenty-first century who accidentally creates time travel and ends up stuck back in the 1940s.  think a bombs and eisenhower.  it was always interesting, and the paradoxes created by the time travel experiments they kept doing were fascinating (i love time travel stuff because of the paradoxes it creates) but i didn’t get really ravenous for it until season two, which is when i really felt it picked up speed.  you’ve got anthony stuck in a literal CAGE - a “blackroom” bubble set outside of time, sally trying to garden (oh god), a gang consisting of a veteran, a (former) widow and time doubles trying to bring down ODAR (the company sally used to work for, and that anthony still does) and esther sliding down the ladder of morally unsound one determined rung at a time and it makes for a REALLY grabbing audio drama, eh?

7. the strange case of starship iris

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i’m already in love with violet liu, all right?  she’s a science officer on starship iris–well, what was starship iris.  when we first join violet, every single one of her crew mates has just died in an explosion on the pod they were traveling off ship with and the starship iris is in its last throes as well.  luckily(?) a passing ship comes along with a plan to get her to safety.  this has a real illuminae vibe to it (which is an amazing book btw) and all the characters are already so freaking likable.  it’s only on episode two and already shaping up to be a favorite!

8. the orbiting human circus (of the air)

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  if there’s a more heart-warming podcast out there, then i haven’t run across it yet.  first of all, julian koster’s voice is so vulnerable and soft that i would use myself and everyone i know and also puppies as a shield against everything terrible in the universe for him.  second, the rest of the cast - leticia especially - is just as freaking talented.  the premise is that julian is the janitor at a radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower and has strange and impossible acts every night, from tale-telling crickets to singing saws to the orkestral, a bird that can play every orchestral instrument (except that it refuses to play the viola, because reasons).  it’s fun and cute and breaks your heart with happiness regularly and often!

9. alice isn’t dead

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is a horror podcast about a truck driver who is looking for her missing wife.  jasika nicole has to have one of my favorite voices around and having it be so heavily dependent on that makes me ridiculously happy.  throw in the story-telling of joseph fink, the depth and cohesiveness of his writing, and there is nothing not to love here.

10. within the wires

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is really sufficiently creepy considering it’s not often overtly creepy.  this is set up as a series of relaxation tapes, which progressively get more and more interested in helping the listener break out of the facility in which she’s being kept.  super chilling at times, because the voice is so calm and the action so dangerous.

11. welcome to night vale

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, what more can be said about this at this point?  if you’re not listening to it, you’re wrong.  why wouldn’t you want to visit a town that can’t be visited and where every conspiracy theory is real and a part of everyday life?  yeah, everyone knows about the vague yet menacing government agency, steve carlsberg, you’re not hitting on anything new there.  there’s a dog park that doesn’t allow dogs, angels that are never to be identified as angels, mountains that aren’t real, a glow cloud that–ALL HAIL and a love story so complete and perfect that it can and will utterly steal your breath at times.  go, listen, inhale.

Y’all I Think I Got Sonic Forces Figured Out

Okay so I know we are all over the moon about the trailers and game play videos that we have gotten these past few days, but I honestly think that we have been glaring over a pretty CRUCIAL detail from the classic sonic game play video 

Think about what we have heard from the Sega Officials, this is not a Sonic Generations sequel. But how can this be if classic sonic is in the game? How are Sonic’s past enemies here alive and ready to fight? How is it not akin to generations if classic Sonic is alive and here?

But what is he isn’t?

What if this classic sonic isn’t the one from generations at all? But instead, from another dimension? Now I suppose Dr. Eggman may just be referring ro another state of time, but I don’t think the connection stops there. For the most obvious question, how in the WORLD did Eggman take over the world without Sonic to stop him? Its the focus of the game but H O W? In colors, generations and lost world. sonic had made stabs at Eggman claiming “Its like its his job to stop him” because, well? It is. Eggman knows this. He knows it far too well. In generations he went back in time to try to right his wrongs, to redo his errors and end Sonic but time and time again it didn’t happen. So what if Dr.Eggman instead decided to look beyond his world, to another dimension, with another Eggman? But why stop there? Why not bring forth a dimension where Sonic failed? Not only that, but a universe where Chaos destroyed Station Square. A world where Metal Sonic won the race on Starlight Speedway. A world where Shadow never helped to defeat the bio-lizard. A world where the deadly six drained the world of its life? This would explain why Shadow has suddenly switched over to the dark side, why Metal Sonic is still functional, why Zavok is alive and why Chaos is in his earlier forms before he became perfect chaos. 

 Of course, like the Time Eater, Eggman wouldn’t be able to do this on his own, as we have seen with our new villain: 

Now as menacing as he appears, these cubes are so….out of place. It’s strange on why he has all these cubes, and why the trailer makes them look as dramatic as it can. Showing our new villain SURROUNDED by them and then ending the trailer with him hurling them at you. It’s odd. So what are they if the cubes are so important? Well to put it simply,

They’re different dimensions 

Whoever this guy is, he is in control of countless dimensions, more than enough to combine and design a whole new terrible reality. A whole new HORRIFIC dimension, where Sonic has failed, and Eggman reigns supreme. What is the name of this devious villain?

INFINITE 

As in..Infinite worlds?

The clues are right in front of us, and all we had to do was pay attention. The trailer certainly wants to get the point across

Now, I may be jumping the gun on this one, with my head of fan fiction type ideals, and perhaps this new villain will just be connected to whoever you create as your own character, (either it be an evil twin or something like that) but who would want to do this? Who would want to bring total destruction onto a world full of peaceful people? Who would want to see the world burn and fall apart right before their eyes because of their wrong doings? Who would want to see people of the resistance fail hopelessly, desperate to save their once beautiful world? Who would want to team up with Eggman to decimate the world? Who hates Sonic so much that he would want nothing more than to force him to watch as his legacy, friends,home,universe fall apart? WHO IS INFINITE? Well I may be wrong, but there’s only one person who can and will

From the timeline that was erased. From the universe you reversed in Sonic 06. From the world you fought so hard to save and redo, rewriting reality so you could get the happy ending. 

Now, its his turn 

On a side note, Sonic Team knows that sonic 06 was a disaster, and make reference to it in the Sonic story episode in Lego Dimensions. Pretty coincidental or foreshadowing? Some other things we can consider as well could be that in 2012 we first heard rumors of a Sonic game called “Sonic Dimensions” The rumor said that we would be traveling to other universes with different color Sonics that had their own personality. My personal favorite, is a promise of a boss fight of an evil Amy Rose, wishing for Sonic’s pain rather than love. Now the rumor as we know now is false and was debunked and this could very well be a coincidence. However, this rumor broke out in 2012, a year or so after Generations and 1 year before Lost world released in 2013. I think we can safely say that Lost world was at the very least in early stages of production during or sometime after Generations especially with its ambitious game play style. It would have taken more than 2 years to make, with the game play style and everything else. This means, Sonic Forces could had possibly be in the early stages of development a little before Lost World, playing on the idea of different universes.I think it’s also possible that Sonic Forces may had been delayed at some point because of Sonic Boom’s games and tv show, since its not being advertised at the 25th anniversary game. Also is a pleasant time to remember that this happened:

Due to Gravity Falls’s more dark story telling, I think its safe to assume that Alex had some kind of influence on Sonic Forces’s story. Either way, 

We are in for a long deserved fantastic Sonic Game my friends. 

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴀʙʏ sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ!


      PREGNANCY -

❝ We’re going to be parents! ❞
❝ Did you feel him/her/them kick!? ❞
❝ Do you want to feel the baby? ❞
❝ I’m pregnant…and it’s yours. ❞
❝ Do you think I’ll make a good mother/father? ❞
❝ What are you hoping for? ❞
❝ I feel so nauseous today… ❞
❝ What should we name him/her/them? ❞
❝ How many diapers do you think we’ll need? ❞
❝ You’re crying over a puppy? ❞
❝ Is just strawberry okay? They didn’t have strawberries and cream. ❞
❝ I’ve read this book four times I’m basically an expert by now. ❞
❝ Boy or girl? ❞
❝ Wait, do we have everything on this list I found? ❞
❝ Can you put the crib together? I’m so tired. ❞
❝ This kid can come out anytime it’s ready. ❞      
❝ You’re glowing. ❞
❝ How far along are you? ❞
❝ Please don’t freak out…but I’m pregnant. I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT. ❞
❝ Hospital. Now! ❞
❝ I think that was a contraction… ❞
❝ The due date’s not until next week! ❞

     NEW BABY -

❝ S/He’s your kid before five in the morning. ❞
❝ We need to go on a diaper run again. ❞
❝ We’re out of formula–where’s the other can!? ❞
❝ Ugh, s/he spit up on my good shirt! ❞
❝ S/he won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do. ❞        
❝ Please take him/her, I’m going to go crazy with the screaming. ❞
❝ Is it even possible for a baby to scream so much!? ❞
❝ Should they be breathing like that? ❞
❝ I need to go check on the baby. ❞    
❝ If you never put him/her down you’ll spoil him/her. ❞
❝ Daddy/Mommy’s little girl/boy! ❞
❝ Good morning, little spawn of Satan! ❞
❝ Shhh, they’re finally asleep.  ❞    
❝ Dammit, I just got them to sleep! ❞
❝ Be careful, s/he’s a hair puller…. ❞
❝ Where’s the pacifier!? ❞
❝ I can’t find his/her blanket, please help me. ❞    
❝ I’ve been up since four this morning, it’s your turn. ❞
❝ I found you and the baby sleeping in the recliner at six am and it was so precious. ❞
❝ Stroller, diaper bag, playpen, blanket, bottles, what else do we need before we go to your parents? ❞
❝ A babysitter!? Are you insane!? ❞    
❝ You’re going to spoil them. ❞    
❝ We can’t go out with the baby, that’s just asking for trouble. ❞
❝ Baby’s awake… ❞
❝ S/he’s so precious…. ❞
❝ This is our son/daughter…. ❞
❝ We make damn beautiful babies. ❞
❝ Look at his/her little feet… ❞
❝ S/he has your eyes. ❞
❝ Do not dress him/her in that! ❞    
❝ Be careful with him/her! ❞
❝ Did you remember to pack his/her toy? ❞
❝ His/her first tooth came in today. Already bit me.❞
❝ Did you hear that? That was a cough.❞           

        CHILDREN -

❝ The kids won’t stop fighting. ❞
❝ We should have another. ❞
❝ Stop giving them dessert before dinner! ❞
❝ You’re going to spoil them rotten… ❞
❝ You need to learn not to fall for the puppy dog eyes.  ❞
❝ I just love them so much!? ❞    
❝ How are we going to break the news to them that they’re getting a brother/sister? ❞
❝ Their screaming woke the baby… ❞    
❝ I’m a horrible mother/father… ❞
❝ How can you make the baby hush and I can’t? ❞
❝ Was that a word!? ❞
❝ His/her first word better not be a damn cuss word! ❞    
❝ You look exhausted. ❞
❝ First steps! First steps! ❞
❝ Watch, s/he can roll over now! ❞
❝ I don’t want anyone else watching our baby/children. ❞    
❝ They totally wanted to build the pillow fort, not me. ❞
❝ Can you manage dropping them off? ❞
❝ Damn terrible twos, right? ❞
❝ How did they outgrow their clothes so fast!? ❞   
❝ I think we make damn good parents. ❞
❝ Why are both you and the baby crying? ❞
❝ Here, I’ll watch him/her, you go relax. ❞
❝ I haven’t been able to put her/him down all morning/day/night. ❞    
❝ S/he doesn’t want me, s/he wants you! ❞
❝ S/he just ran into the coffee table, don’t worry. ❞
❝ Stop fighting with me in front of the kid/s! ❞
❝ We shouldn’t have dressed the twins in matching outfits… ❞    
❝ Can I hold him/her? ❞
❝ S/he has separation anxiety because you never put them down! ❞
❝ My mother always hoped my kids would end up like me…I’m so sorry. ❞
❝ I wouldn’t let them do ____, so they started crying. ❞  
❝ Oh, s/he’s just a little angel! ❞
❝ Hello, little one! ❞
❝ I can babysit if you’d like. ❞
❝ Guess who broke your favorite ____. ❞  
❝ Finally got him/her/them to sleep. ❞
❝ It’s your turn to put him/her/them to bed. ❞
❝ I hate bath time. ❞
❝ Can you help me with the kids for five goddamn minutes!? ❞
 
❝ I think ____ is jealous of the baby. ❞
❝ ___ just hit ___, can you do something!? ❞
❝ Is locking kids in the basement against the law!? ❞
❝ They’re cute when they’re quiet. ❞
❝ Maybe taking them to the park will let out all their energy. ❞
❝ _____ colored on the walls today… ❞
❝ Look at the mess they made again… ❞      
                     

Bangtan Fic Rec

All of these are on ao3, they’re all shipping fics. I’ll add more as I read, these are just the ones I’ve read so far. My opinion is in italics, I only added the pairing, summary and theme of the fics, not the warnings and ratings so check those out when you’re gonna read them because some of them contain either smut, death or violence. You’ve been warned.

Fics in this list: 43.


I dream in the shape of your mouth by jonghyun | Namjin, College!AU.

Summary: Seokjin spends a lot of time in the library. Now, Namjoon does too. Taemin tries to summon Satan, and Jimin is a fuckboy.

*Jackson voice* Cute

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast by Kavbj | Taekook, College!AU, Fantasy!AU

Summary: Taehyung has magic in his veins and Jungkook’s determined not to let it kill him.

Dude. This fic is so creative and well-written… I finished it and felt empty.

beat for me (live for me)  by bakkushan | Namjin, Mafia!AU part of the offer me your deathless death series.

Summary: Namjoon’s looking at himself and then at Seokjin and all he can see is Life and Death lying next to each other under a starless sky.

I cried like a bitch with this one, painful as fuck.

All you need is love (and pink) by vppa | NamJin, Angels and Demons!AU.

Summary: Most people only have one miniature angel or devil riding on their shoulders to serve as the physical manifestation of their conscience. Poor Namjoon has five, and they’re all telling him the same thing: “fucking talk to him god dammit what the fuck is wrong with you”

Funny and sweet. I like it.

Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? by melecs| NamJin, Library!AU.

Summary: Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi. And Seokjin worked in the children’s department.

Ah, this is… something else, for sure. Cute as hell. Funny, too.

The less I know the better by mucha | Taegi, Namjin, Fake Relationship!AU

Summary: “Together with their families, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin… Wow, this is formal… Wait,” Hoseok squints at the paper, before looking back at Yoongi with a quizzical look on his face. “They invited you with a guest? But… You’re single, right?”

“Min Yoongi,” Jimin glares at him over the bar, crossing his arms sternly over his chest. “If you’re seeing someone and you didn’t tell us I will kick your ass, so help me god.”

“I’m not dating anyone,” Yoongi sighs, grabbing the invitation and scanning it quickly. The words “with a guest” are underlined and Yoongi can almost see it: the smugness on his brother’s face as he nods with satisfaction, putting the pencil down.

“So what does it mean?”

Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding making eye contact.

“I might’ve… invented a boyfriend,” he finally mumbles to the glass in front of him.

This is so good, amazing, incredible. Brilliant. Entertaining as hell.

Star Light, Star Bright (The Last Star I’ll See Tonight) by DreamsOfAnotherReality | Taekook, Yoonseok, Teen!AU.

Summary: Jung Kook and Taehyung fall in love the summer Hoseok goes missing.  

Hoseok just wanted to see the stars and confess to Yoongi gdi bye I’m gonna fucking kill myself.

Creating a home series by CheekyBrunette | Namjin, Foster Parents!AU

Summary: A BTS Foster Care AU

This AU is so cute and fluffy I love Domestic!Namjin

The Professor’s Family series by EquinoxSolstice | Taekook, NamJin, Family!AU

Summary: Professor Kim Namjoon is married.

He doesn’t have a wife.

They have a sort-of son.

And Jeon Jungkook just crossed paths with them.

Read this. It’s great, I promise.

The Greatest by Little_Dimples | jikook, College!AU, Sports!AU.

Summary: Person A is a hockey player person B a figure skater. Person A is told he needs more grace on the ice so he is forced to get lessons by person B. Problem is they hate each other.

Or Person A is Jungkook and Person B is Jimin.

I had so much fun reading this you don’t get it. As I was reading in class i had to hide my face because I was smiling so much. Really good fic.

400 minutes | yoonmin, School!AU.

Summary: Min Yoongi expected a lot of weird experiences to happen when he went to college, but being the roommate of his high school love who apparently “moved away for good” was not one of them.

Angsty but in a good way.

Beta Tau Sigma by bazooka | Namjin, Yoonmin, College!AU, Frat!AU.

Summary: A collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house.
At Beta Tau Sigma, there are only a few rules:

1) have a declared major in the College of Music;
2) keep your GPA above a 3.4;
3) don’t let Taehyung into the liquor cabinet;
4) don’t fuck up with Kim Seokjin. The rest is all fine print.

(Rating changed to M for sexual content in ch17.)

OKAY, THIS FIC IS THE END OF EVERYTHING FOR ME. My Favorite Fic Of All Time. Nothing is ever gonna top this for me, even House of Cards. This fic has it all, humor, angst, fluff, smut. Everything. Incredible fic. Golden fic.

cuz in a sky full of stars (I think I saw you) by wowoashley | Taekook, Namjin, Fake Relationship!AU

Summary: taehyung always has bad ideas. and jeongguk thinks this might be the best.

This is so cute and cliché but in a good way, I really love this fic.

ce monde est une têmpete by astringxnt | Taekook, Yoonmin, Namjin, College!AU

Summary: they say that one should fall in love with their eyes open, but Jungkook keeps his closed, and Taehyung is afraid that they’ll fall in all the wrong places.

the concept of strings in space time theory is that on a one dimensional plane, one only has the option of going backwards or forwards in their direction of travel. Jungkook chooses to be swept along into the unknown, with Taehyung as his only anchor.

AMAZING! I really like the plot of this one.

Safe and Sound by bazooka | Namjin, Royalty!AU.

Summary: From a tumblr prompt: Jin is a prince, and Namjoon is his bodyguard.

“You’re sort of bad at this.”
“Nah. You’re safe, aren’t you?”

Prince!Jin. That’s all I have to say about this fic. Amazing.

(thought you knew) you were in this song by expplipo | Taekook, Yoonseok, Namjin, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Taehyung nearly chokes, but only nearly. Instead he raises an eyebrow and puts on the most suave smile he can manage. Hopes he looks far more collected than his for-some-reason racing heartbeat would let on, more suit-and-wine than elementary-schooler-with-a-new-crush. “You like me?”

Jeongguk blushes, and looks at his feet. He’s smiling. “Of course.”

“Really?” Taehyung says. “Like? Or like like?”

(So much for suit-and-wine.)

Nothing to say apart from it being amazing.

Common Thread by sugafree | Yoonmin, Namjin, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Red String of Fate AU where Yoongi doesn’t believe in soulmates and spends a long time trying to avoid a certain someone on the other end of his red thread.

I’m a sucker for Soulmates, but this fic is good regardless, love the way it’s written.

for you, anything by kadotas | Vmin, Yoonkook, Namjin, Marriage!AU

Summary: “Talk dirty to me,” Taehyung says lowly into Jimin’s ear, breath ghosting Jimin’s earlobe, eliciting a slight shudder from the latter.

“I’m not wearing underwear,” Jimin whispers back, pulling back to look Taehyung in the eye.

Taehyung groans gruffly at this, breaking the eye contact to lean down and nip Jimin’s jawline gently. “God yes baby that’s just-“

“I’m not wearing any underwear because you never fucking put the laundry in the fucking dryer like I’ve asked you to 100 times,” Jimin hisses, voice strained with vehemence, glaring at him and Taehyung sighs defeatedly.

(in which Taehyung and Jimin navigate through married life together, realising belatedly that it’s not always smooth sailing.)

Domestic Vmin is the best Vmin.

Let me know by TheOrgasmicSeke | Yoonmin, Yoonkook, Jikook, Yoonminkook, Namjin, Vhope, I Need U!AU, Poly!AU

Summary: Talking about it, of course, became harder as the days passed by. Yoongi could never find the right time to bring it up. He was still wondering if he was just imaging things. If he was just thinking he was feeling the things he was feeling. But that was quickly disproved every single time Jimin curled up around him and Jungkook kissed him. He was a fucking idiot in love with two bigger idiots and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Except probably ruin it by talking about it. Hell, maybe it was better to just never mention it and pretend it wasn’t happening.

So good. No other words.

Find the value of an elephant by tired angry egg (Mirabelle) | Namjin, Highschool!AU, Tutor!AU

Summary: When Kim Taehyung’s academic situation takes a turn for the worse, his mother is convinced to hire a highly recommended tutor in the hopes for a miracle that would turn her son into a conscientious student. Her eldest son, Seokjin, has a far more skeptical opinion on this entire thing, expecting it to be-lest he sugarcoat it-a complete failure. And Kim Namjoon is just really bad at making good first impressions (or second ones, or just impressions altogether).

Cute and funny.

A Sociolinguistic Analysis of Epenthesis in Academic Convergence by bazooka | Namjin, College!AU, Professor!AU

Summary: Epenthesis
A phonological phenomenon in which two disparate sounds meet, creating a third sound between them which wasn’t there before.

There were a lot of jobs worse than being partnered with world-renowned Absent-Minded Professor Kim Namjoon, but Professor Kim Seokjin couldn’t think of what any of them were at the moment.

THIS! IS! SO! GOOD! Honestly, I’m in love with this fic.

The Mark of an Educated Mind by bazooka | Namjin, Metafiction.

Summary: At three o'clock in the morning after he’d been working for ten hours straight and everything he touched came out wrong and all his words were stilted and clumsy and all his music was rough and tangled… for some ungodly reason Kim Namjoon opened up a new browser window, typed bangtan sonyeondan fan fiction into the search bar, and then (god) hit enter.

No comment.

A Wonderful Institution by bazooka | Namjin, Yoonmin, Wedding Planner!AU.

Summary: Kim Seokjin is a wedding caterer. Kim Namjoon is a wedding planner.

Both of them think marriage is a societal construct with no place in modern life. Neither of them would know Real Love if it came up to them at a wedding and made a wager.

I love this fic because it’s so cute and funny to me.

Just Skin by syubology | Taegi, College!AU.

Summary: Yoongi is small and angry and 200% done with having feelings; Taehyung is Taehyung; Hoseok harasses Yoongi with petnames and Jimin ships Yoonseok. That’s basically it.

The fic that made me ship Taegi.

Pour up (Drank) by mindheist | Taekook, College!AU, Frat!AU.

Summary: If you can read this, take another shot.

LISTEN. This fic is so good it’s almost Beta Tau Sigma and that’s saying a lot because I love that fic. Anyways, the story in this one is great and it has its funny moments as well as fluffy and frustrating ones. Great fic.

Sidereal by darling | Vmin, Childhood Friends!AU.

Summary: Here we observe the Earth and the Sun in their natural habitat: each other.

This is all cute and fluffy in some parts but deep in others. Beautiful fic, I like the concept.

half a soul divided by jynxu | Minjoon, Taekook, Yoonseok, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Park Jimin has never been on a date. Nor has he had his first kiss, flirted with anyone, or fallen in love. His classmates would ridicule him and base nicknames over his distaste toward anything romantic. (Look, here comes Saint Jiminie!) Even his younger brother would make fun of him while his parents watched with pitying looks on their faces.

Nobody understood.

or: soulmate au where your soulmate’s date of death is tattooed on your wrist.

This made me cry. At school. No joke my friends were worried. Great fic, read if you want to cry.

Out of My System by xxdevilishxx | Yoonmin, Vhope, Namjin, One Night Stand!AU.

Summary: Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club.

I read this instead of studying. Really good and interesting, I like the characters.

refrigerator humming, chewing gum and instant karma by locks | Taekook, Gangster!AU, Mafia!AU.

Summary: Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. “Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you. I hope you’re thinking about me too. Love–” he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. “Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?”

Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand.

Or, Taehyung’s been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi’s criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

Cute and a good read, the concept is awesome and I like the way it’s written.

House of Cards by sugamins | Taekook, Vmin, Jikook, Vminkook, Mafia!AU, Gangster!AU.

Summary: Jungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down.

“You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated.”

Trailer. This fic. I have no words. It’s beautifully written and the plot is amazing, really interesting and just plain good. The fic to end all Mafia!AUs. Nothing is ever gonna top this for me. It’s also a long read.

Let Me In Or Let Me Down by noraebangbang | Yoonmin, A/B/O.

Summary: Yoongi hates dealing with heat cycles and suppressants and life in general. Everything is a terrible mess, and then there’s Jimin to make things a tiny bit brighter.

Now, listen, I don’t really like ABO, but this fic is so good that I wanna like it because if there are any other ABO fics like this gem then I’m in for a treat.

Kickstart series by Error401 | Yoonmin, Namjin, Vhope, Gangster!AU, Hitman!AU

Summary: Hitman!Yoongi AU.

The plot of this series is really interesting, I read it all in one sitting because I just needed more. It’s really good.

The Still Point (Of The Turning World) by inkingbrushes | Yoonseok, Reincarnation!AU, Soulmates!AU, Multiple lives!AU.

Summary: Because Yoongi doesn’t know how this started, or how this will end, but he knows this simple fact: he knows that there is a love between them that is much fiercer than the burning sun. There is that love then, and there is that love now, and surely there will be that same love the next time.

(Or: the one where they’re reincarnated over and over again and Yoongi meets a different version of Hoseok every time but Yoongi is the only one that remembers.)

Ok, this fic made me cry really hard and I’m still affected by it. It’s beautiful and sad and you should totally read it.

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

→ nudes, not flowers | 02

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

☆ pairing → Hoseok x Reader x Jungkook

genre → smut, fuckboi!au

warnings  → … voyeurism + exhibitionism, dom!junghope, power play?, dirty talk!!!, jealousy, demeaning names during sex, the threesome, & probably other warnings byE 

word count   → 10.4k 

☆ summary   →  you’re not supposed to fall for Jung Hoseok and his repertoire of awful pick-up lines – but you do. the problem is: he’s afraid of commitment, and bolts at the idea of settling down. you decide to stay far away from fuckboys, but his friend decides to test your new found resolutions

or : Jungkook wants to see how far he can push Hoseok until he snaps

→  pt i | pt ii (final) 

☆ a/n   → okay…so… this is just porn, but if you squint, there’s kind of a plot. you should probably start with pt 1 if you haven’t already!! 
+ shout out to the mutuals who encouraged the filth fest in this part esp @gxtsmxt @itsrainingmin !! we can have a prayer circle later to cleanse our souls
+ also tomorrow is my one month anniversary on tumblr :’)) thank you so much for all the love i’ve received this past month  ♡

Keep reading

4

Cultural Appropriation is a real, important, and harmful thing, but god damn if it’s not one of the most recklessly abused terms in the social justice lexicon.

Transcription under the cut for accessibility

Keep reading

Theory on the Future Fate of the Blue Lion

 First off, if you haven’t seen the new reboot of Voltron or listened to the SDCC Voltron panel, let me warn you that this post will contain some spoilers so stop reading right now and go watch Voltron. 

Ready? Okay, here we go.

Now I know that ever since season one of Voltron has ended, the growing fandom of Voltron has been producing A LOT of theories of what season two will bring us. And the trailer for season two has only doubled the hype for the upcoming season and for the fan theories. 

The two theories that seem to dominate the Voltron tag are definitely the theory that Keith is either a Galra/Human hybrid or Galra/Altrean hybrid (seriously this theory has pretty much taken control over all Voltron art and fanfiction in the last few weeks) and the second theory is that Shiro will either by killed off like his forgotten 80′s Norwegian brother Sven (rest in peace dear Holgersson) or be captured for long period of time allowing Keith or Allura to take over the Black Lion. (Though this theory begs the question that is Keith has to lead Voltron and pilot the Black Lion to do so does that mean Lance will take over the Red and Allura pilot the Blue? Will Keith have to give Lance his precious red jacket? Will Lance grow a 80′s mullet too? This theory brings up so many questions)

Both these theories are awesome and have pumped up a lot of great material from the fandom so far and will probably continue to do so until season two comes around later this year.

However, there’s been a theory mulling around in my head for a while now and so far, I haven’t really seen any other fan pick up on it. And since I have no one to discuss this with, I’m going to lay it all out right here for you Voltron fandom!

As the title of this post suggest, this theory revolves around the Blue Lion which automatically means a lot of it is going to deal with this guy:


 Why so scared? Not every Voltron theory is filled with angst and- oh fuck, nevermind.

Yes, while the most fandom are biting their nails over the fates of poor alien Keith and the possible death/capture/brainwashing of Tadashi- oh nevermind that’s Sven- I mean Shiro- I’m sitting in my isolated corner of outlandish theories mentally preparing myself over the possible horrendous fate that could possibly await our favorite Blue Paladin.

But “Why?” you, anonymous tumblr user, will ask.What solid clue can be found in season one that could possibly hint that anything bad could happen to Lance and the Blue Lion in the coming seasons?

Well, simple. It all begins with this lines right here:

                 Foreshadowing or too much Film Theorists? Probably the former                                 but who cares, I’m finishing this post.

Even when I first watched the series the first time around, this line always stuck out to me. I know it’s supposed to lead to a snappy argument with Keith to lighten the area on the serious mood of the scene, but it still felt a bit odd.

Then I began to wonder if it might foreshadow to something coming later in the series. Many of the writers of the new Voltron reboot have written stuff for The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra- both series that have been known to plan ahead and leave foreshadowing to future events in small ways so I wouldn’t put it past the team of Voltron to do the same.

So, the question is, will Lance’s mind because fused with a giant ship in the future? Perhaps with with one…..

     Yeah, stop smiling Blue, this theory doesn’t really end well for you.

Of course, since Blue technically already has her own sentiment mind, this couldn’t work unless something were to happen to the Blue Lion that would make her lose the Quintessence, the life form, that allows her to be more than a plain machine….

….Something along the lines of Zarkon destroying one of the lions as a last ditch effort to prevent Voltron from ever being used against him. 

Because damn it if he can’t have his Voltron action figure than nobody should get the Voltron action figure.

But seriously, wouldn’t this be the best plan all together if everything else fails?Why waste all the time and resources trying to steal the lions when he can just destroy one of them and prevent the so-called ultimate weapon from being used against him in the first place? He was doing an okay job of conquering the universe without the Voltron for the last 10,000 years. 

But why the Blue Lion you of little faith ask? If that’s his last ditch plan, then he could destroy any of them to make it work.

Well you’re right- there is no solid evidence to support the idea that it would be the Blue Lion could be destroyed or permanently damaged if these theory plays out. 

But from a writer’s standpoint, if any of the Lions’ were to be killed or damaged, the one that would hit most with the audience probably be Blue.

Look at it this way- who was the lion that the main characters, and we as an audience first met?

                                             Love at first sight.

That’s right. It was Blue. And by all accords, she is the lion that we spend the most time with solo on screen. We get to see more of her personality and grow attached to her at the same time as the main characters to. She is the Lion we, as an audience, have the most emotional attachment to. If anything were to happen to the lions, it would hit the hardest if it happened to Blue. 

And you can bet that the writers did that on purpose.

              How dare they make me feel emotions for this giant robot cat.

So Zarkon destroys Blue to make forming Voltron impossible. Maybe he absorbs her quintessence to make himself more powerful just as he did with that one planet. So her mechanical body may still be somewhat intact, but her lifeform that makes her a living being is gone. She is a lifeless shell. But of course, Lance, her pilot, would share the same Quintessence as Blue. What if, as the ultimate sacrifice, Lance will give up his own Quintessence, his very life force, and fuse with the Blue Lion, thus in a way, becoming the Blue Lion himself?

                                        Oh look Blue! We’re a match!

But, you argue, could this be possible? Making an AI out of memories like with Alfor and the Castle Ship is one thing, but Lance literally becoming the next Blue Lion? Impossible! Nay! Nay!

Don’t worry, I’d be “naying” in disbelief with all of you if I hadn’t realized that we’ve been watching organic beings becoming sentient warships (aka the Robeasts) throughout the entire first season. Haggar and druids have doing this since the very beginning. For example:

This guy

became this asshole

And Haggar’s weird pet lizard

became a digimon I’m pretty sure

Based on this evidence, I’m pretty sure the Lions of Voltron probably all used to be actual organic beings at one point in time before becoming literal weapons to protect the universe.  Haggar and her druids probably rediscovered this same magic to create their own Voltron Lion wannabes.

But if this theory comes true and Lance does sacrifice himself to become the next Blue Lion, then the question is, who would be the next Blue Paladin?

The answer of course, for those who have watched the original series is….

                                Literally fuck anyone who just said Sven. 

Yes Princess Allura. Who else? Blue is literally one of the key colors that represents her in the series. And I don’t think it is just a coincidence that out of all the paladins it was Lance that Allura first saw when she woke up from her 10,000 year long sleep.

I’m going to ride you one day…And not in the way you’re thinking about, pervert.

You would think that the writers would have had Allura fall into Keith’s arms (who was her love interest in the past series) or maybe Shiro’s (since there seems to be some hinting of romance between them), but no, she falls into Lance’s arms, thus already starting the connection between future pilot and lion.

So there you have it folks! I’ve just tossed in my theory for what might happen in the future of the series. Of course, this is all just plain, fun speculation! And whether you agree with it or not, I’d love to hear what you think about it!

Inspired by THIS POST about gay Disney Princesses. 


When the old beggar comes to the door, Addy knows better than to let her in. She doesn’t look at the rose or the woman too long; she shuts the door.

Some will call her arrogant or selfish, but what is she to do? No guards, parents in the capital (not, here, not here), and the knowledge that she is the damsel in all those fairy tales weighs heavily on her mind. Oh, little princess, far from home and alone, so alone.

The Enchantress (for they do not call her witch) makes sure that she stays that way.

Alone except for her wilting rose.

(She did not want it, would not take it, so she was bound to it. Such is the way of Princesses.)

———————————-

Addy used to have frightful bursts of temper. Her face would turn red, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, mouth screwed into an upside down kidney bean. Anything could set her off; a too tight corset, a walk ended too quickly, another toy sword taken away. She’d wail and scream, kick her feet and punch the air, tear and rend anything within arm’s reach.

The first time she has a fit in her new form, it’s after Mrs. Potts reads the King and Queen’s decision on her…condition. She’s to stay here, on the outskirts of their kingdom, until a Prince comes to release her from her spell. Alone until a different sort of bond is forced on her, until she is made to change from princess to beast to bride.

Addy know why they refuse to save her. It’s because she’s always been too big, too strong, too ill-tempered, too–

In her rage, Addy upends the tea tray, forgetting, forgetting, forgetting.

She is reminded when fine china falls to the hard ground, when it rattles, when it shatters, when it screams.

“No!” Addy falls to her knees next to her dishes– no, her friends and frantically rights them, apologies tumbling from her lips, eyes brimming with tears.

“Temper,” Mrs. Potts murmurs, more out of reflex than anything, looking obviously terrified. She hops from her side to her base, better able to control her new body than any other castle resident. Her lid is sitting askew and her eyes are wide (so wide) as they dart from one cup to another. “Daniel? Daniel!”

Addy cuts herself on broken porcelain and flinches. She–she’d killed him, she’d been so thoughtless, how could she? “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry–”

“I’m okay,” a little voice says. “I’m okay, Mom!”

 Addy sobs as she locates him under the silver platter, on his side, trapped. She throws the platter too hard, lodging it in the wall, and takes Daniel in her paws.  

“It’s okay, Princess Addy,” Daniel chirps at her. He’s a little older than her, just a few years, and he’s always trying to be strong. His eyes are wide (too wide), but he offers her a tremulous smile. “I’m okay.”

“Thank goodness,” Mrs. Potts says and her china clinks as she hops forward. 

Addy’s eyes lock on the horrible, huge chip in his rim. 

I did that.

She’s across the room before being aware of setting Daniel down, of standing, of leaping away.

“Princess,” Mrs. Potts says from her low, low position on the floor. “What–”

“Don’t call me that,” Addy grits out. Her huge body leans heavily against the door, making it groan, as she desperately tries to wrap her paw around the handle. She can’t stop looking at the chip, the proof of harm, the proof that something much worse can happen so easily. “Don’t call me– I’m not–I’m not the Princess. I’m the Beast.”

The door crashes open and she disappears.

————————————————

It’s weeks before the servants realize that she’s never going to answer to her name again. She no longer sleeps in her princess bed or attempts to wear her princess clothes. She wears pants scavenged from the servants’ quarters, tunics from her father’s closet, ties her mane back with twine instead of ornaments.

“Addy!” they call. “Princess Addy!”

The Beast doesn’t even know who that is.

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circling the atmosphere

Part 2 of @vldangstweek: March 19th-Failure/Insecurity


Lance isn’t stupid.

He knows, alright. He knows he talks a lot. He knows he’s loud. He knows his voice grates, he knows he’s too exuberant, too desperate to be friends. He knows he wears his heart on his sleeve and shows it all too fast, too freely. He knows he’s just too much for people.

(That doesn’t stop him from wishing, though.)

He tries, sometimes. To be quieter, to be calmer, to be…less. He tries so goddamn hard, but it doesn’t matter because he always, always ends up reverting back to his regular self anyway. It doesn’t seem to matter what his intentions are, he always says the wrong thing, always takes a joke too far. It’s clear he just don’t know when to shut up.

(He can’t actually remember anyone telling him that in so many words, but it’s pretty clear that people think it, from the way they stop talking when he walks in a room, to how in group projects his suggestions are ignored, to his just total and complete inability to make lasting, meaningful relationships with people that last longer than a month before he’s inevitably replaced. He doesn’t blame anyone for it, though. It’s fine. He doesn’t really like himself, either, so it’s not a surprise when others don’t.)

Of course, that doesn’t make it hurt any less when he sees it happen. He’s still not really surprised, though, as he watches Hunk drift further away and get closer to Pidge and Keith. Sure, he’d…well, he’d hoped, for a while, and after the Garrison, where Hunk stuck pretty close to him, back when Pidge didn’t really want anything to do with them, he’d thought that maybe…but it didn’t matter.

He’s glad that Hunk’s finding people he cares about, who care about him in return, who don’t always say the wrong thing and make matters worse. If Hunk is happy, then Lance can’t begrudge him that. Pidge has been happier, too—more prone to smiling or making jokes, and less afraid to squeal over new tech she finds. How selfish would someone have to be to be bitter about that?

(About as selfish as Lance is, he’s discovered.)

Still, no matter how much it hurts, it’s still a relief, of a sort, to know that he was right. He hates not knowing what’s going to happen, and even though this whole situation really sucks and he might feel a bit like his chest is being crushed and his hands won’t stop shaking and his stomach feels sick and it’s late at night and he’s crying and he just can’t stop and it’s hard to breathe, at least he knows that he was right.

He’s a placeholder, you see. One of those characters in a show that exists only to serve as an old childhood friend that’s mentioned maybe once in a flashback and never again. Sometimes, when he looks at his life, as he sees everyone drawing away, he feels like he’s watching a movie—one he can interact with in some capacity, but not such that he has a lasting effect on the plot.

(It’s literally never occurred to him that when these people on his team and even his family tell him they care about him they mean it, because he while he can see how deeply they care for each other, it seems like a physical example of that old ‘sounds fake but okay’ meme from when his grandparents were young whenever they try to pretend to direct any affection towards him. It’s pretty clear they’re making it up as soon as they feel they’ve satisfied their daily quota, anyway.)

Lance is, and always has been, an afterthought. An “oh wow it might be awkward for just the two of us to hang out since I haven’t seen you in six months—maybe we should invite Lance, too, because he hung out with us back when we were all still living near each other and is pretty good at just spewing out enough words to keep it from being awkward” kind of thought. He doesn’t expect people to think of him, to try to reach out. He’s used to being the one to reach out, to try to get together, to reminding people that he exists.

Most days, that’s okay.

(Well. It’s not, but if it’s all he’ll get, then Lance will take it.)

Most days, when he watches people he hoped would care about him slip away, he can ignore it and move on.

(He can’t, he never could, but he lies to himself all the same.)

Right now, though? Right now, watching Hunk—Lance’s favorite person in the entire universe—draw away from him and grow closer to Pidge, who’s only rarely showed any sort of affection towards Lance, hurts more than he’d ever expected it could.

He can take Shiro not liking him. He can take Keith not caring about him. He can take Pidge’s annoyance, Allura’s dismissal, Coran’s lack of attention—Lance can take a lot.

He thought he’d be able to take when Hunk inevitably left, too.

(Clearly, he was wrong. Again.)

Maybe he’s not as smart as he’d thought, after all.

(If he was, then maybe he’d know what he needed to fix to get people to stay.)

(That’s the worst part, he thinks. He could at least try, and see if that helped any, if only he knew what it was about him that chased people off—it could be one of a thousand things, or it could be all of the thousand things, and Lance just does not know.)

But in the meantime, he’ll get up and smile and pretend it’s fine and he’ll watch as Hunk and Pidge spend more time together, and he’ll draw back and maybe this time the mice won’t scurry out of the room, and maybe he’ll at least have them for company.

(He just wants someone to stay, but he doesn’t blame anyone for leaving.)

anonymous asked:

Hi love! What would you say the top ten sterek fics you've ever read are?

This was REALLY HARD. Mainly bc it’s hard to choose only 10. Because I’m leaving off some great fics (which is why there are more than 10 on here :3)! And some I get mixed up bc I read them so long ago and near each other. (You can always browse my fave fic list here) But I’ve narrowed it to this list. These are the fics that really left impressions on me. They’re all amazing and deserve to be read and loved!!! So…have a TOP 27 FAVE STEREK FICS list :DDDD

1. Cry Havoc by ladyblahblah

In Beacon Hills, the two-year war that’s been raging between werewolves and hunters has begun spilling over onto the civilian population. Meanwhile, in Boston, when the tattoo on Stiles Stilinski’s back is damaged on a late-night hunt he begins to have dreams that lead him across the country, drawn by an inexplicable conviction that he’s needed there. When he discovers that Derek Hale began the war after his mate was killed, Stiles finds himself being offered a strange deal: figure out how to bring the alpha’s mate back, and peace talks can begin.

2. Where the Inevitable Isn’t by Survivah

Stiles has a magical thingamajig that’s supposed to get him out of danger. Trouble is, it took him really, really far out of danger. Like, to the point where he isn’t in the same universe anymore.

“A part of Stiles had been thinking that he’d come home, and just go, ‘hey, Derek, are we mates and you just haven’t said anything about it?’ and Derek would reply, ‘now you mention it, we are indeed! Now come to my bedchamber, where we will have super hot sex and then cuddle after!’”

3. Pack Up; Don’t Stray by the_deep_magic

AU – Werewolves are an enslaved underclass, collared and tagged by human masters. Detective Stilinski’s on duty the night they bring in an untagged stray.

4. Our Memories Are Numbered by rufflefeather

Stiles’ Jeep grinds to a halt, he sees someone running through the rain, he’s not expecting it to be Derek. He’s not expecting a Derek without any memories either, or an Alpha pack that’s coming for all of them. He probably should’ve, because lately nothing goes the way he expects.

5. Ad Astra Per Tentaculum by morganoconner

Space contains a multitude of different species, and Derek has seen and helped a lot of them in his time taking down branches of the slave-trade organization. But this is the first time he’s seen an Aloshrivnik. It’s not the tentacles that draw him in; it’s the goddamn eyes that stare at him without backing down.

“Stiles,” it says to him. “My name is Stiles.”

6. Part of My Melody by hayesgeneration

Derek is a professional classical musician who has found himself lost without a muse, without goal and without even a hint of spark. He’s almost settled nearly contently (if not slightly unwillingly) on having to live his life as a recluse, when his sister finally grows tired of his antics, giving him a Christmas ultimatum.

7. Littlest Alpha by triedunture

Derek and Stiles have taken out the Alpha Pack and pretty much saved the world. Okay, the town. Okay, their remaining friends. But the Alphas left something behind: a baby. And this baby is an Alpha too. Derek is determined to take care of the abandoned child, and Stiles is stuck going along for the ride.

But Stiles doesn’t expect the ride to include seeing another side of Derek, or to find another way to say “family.”

8. Holding Your Own Weight by zjofierose

Stiles Stilinski is the best trapeze artist west of the Mississippi, but that doesn’t do him much good without a catcher. Enter one quiet roughneck who calls himself Derek and knows maybe a little too much about circus arts for someone who was hired to schlep tents. But Derek has his secrets, and so does the new girl, Allison. Who’s being hunted and who’s being haunted, and will Stiles ever be able to convince Derek to help him fly again?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I got a question about the sparing and padding post that you recently made. I like to read Assassin's Creed fanfictions that shows Altair (the main character) in his early years, which often includes his training to be an assassin. In most of these fics they focus more on the sword and knife fighting but some does include the hand to hand fighting too (without protection). So realistically what kind of injuries would someone training without any kind of protection should expect?

Death.

I’m only sort of kidding, because I know the kinds of fanfics you’re talking about and like every writer trying to be edgy, they have them spar without protections and with live weapons. There’s a reason why we use practice weapons during training and in sparring matches, where rules are in play. 

Now, the Assassin’s Creed variant of the Hashashin live for that super edgy, very stupid state of supposed badass where one must constantly prove their worth so I totally believe they’d do it. I’d also believe this would lead to an incredibly high turnover with their recruits, which is not sustainable in the real world.

I’m going to point out here that the “Asassins” or Hashashin were real. That’s the etymology for the word. The suicide jumping is also real and, instead of landing on bales of hay, they jumped to their deaths. There are a couple of stories about that piece of the order. The real Assassins were religious fanatics. These stories are not so much a testament to the quality of their training so much as their fanaticism.

For what it’s worth, the Knights Templar were also real and a prominent militant order up until they were excommunicated by the Pope.

The history of both groups is actually far more interesting than the Assassin’s Creed franchise. This is a persistent problem with the games, they invariably include historical figures who are far, far, far more interesting, competent, and badass than we’re presented with. If you encounter a historical personage in an Assassin’s Creed game, remind yourself of this simple fact: the real one is about 200x more awesome. It’s this weird inverse where the reality consistently surpasses the fiction. (Black Flag, I have my eye on you. Honestly, how do you mess up Stede Bonnet, The Gentleman Pirate? And that’s the least of your sins!)

The more serious answer is that unless you’re training with weapons or making an active effort to hit each other, in the real world we don’t train using pads on the regular. The pads are so you can essentially go full out against another person under controlled circumstances and then come back for training tomorrow. If your students are constantly getting injured that hampers their ability to train, then they fall behind and you turn out fewer fighters. Injuries on the training floor should not be a common occurrence.

Barring accidents and mishaps, if you’re simply practicing your techniques on your own or against a wooden dummy then all you should expect afterwards is standard muscle pain (maybe some bruising). The same should be true for practice with human opponents (which is not sparring) and sparring itself.

Anything else is a waste of time, energy, and resources.

Remember, injuries take time to heal and if you’re prepping someone to go out and murder that’s time you don’t have.

In the land of “edgy training”, try to remember that you want evil as opposed to incompetence.

The vast majority of training, like the kinds you listed, are edgy incompetence. They don’t serve a purpose other than sadism and your students don’t learn anything. Unfortunately, cruelty on its own doesn’t teach much (the Spartans were abusive jerks, but their methods worked). The beat up, abuse them, cruelty methodology simply doesn’t work unless you understand the kinds that work and, from a storytelling perspective, it also isn’t interesting.

The kind of “edgy training” you see in most stories is a round of Kinder’s First. People mimicking what Hollywood has taught them or what they’ve seen in fiction elsewhere. The assumption in this line of thinking is that the more brutal the training then the more dangerous the fighter. This isn’t true. More importantly, there are much better ways to sadistically mess with your students’ (and audience’s) heads.

1) Depending on your teaching style, you may murder a student on occasion to motivate the others. However, the control over who lives or dies remains with the instructor because the instructor is god. If a student gets a bright idea to kill another student without your approval, kill them.

2) Live weapons should never be used by students on each other except as a graduation gift. The graduation gift being only one of them will be accepted into the Order, so prove your worth. (In the real world, you’ll probably need them both but in fantasy land… why not?)

3) Use the threat of death to keep your students from getting comfortable, make good on this promise every so often. Bring in an established warrior to kill off your best student in demonstration to the others. (Why? It reminds them at no point are they safe.)

4) Encourage your students to break the rules, punish them severely if caught. (Playing favorites? Punish them more, push them harder.)

5) Limit their resources. Make them fight each other for their food. Survival isn’t a given. It’s earned.

6) In the early days, force them into physical exhaustion. Keep them up late. Wake them early. Limit their sleep to the minimum of hours they need to stay functional. Tired minds are easier to manipulate.

7) Force them into direct conflict with each other. There’s never a solid baseline they can achieve, and they’re always watching over their shoulder. Furthermore they never become loyal to each other. They are only loyal to you. Appeasing their teacher is their only means of survival.

8) Got a problem child who won’t play along? Don’t make an example of them. No, no, make them your new favorite. That’ll turn the others on them, and they’ll solve the problem for you.

9) Change the goalposts regularly, so they never know what to expect.

10) You’ve got someone who doesn’t want to participate? Say okay. When others move to join them, punish those students viciously instead. Do it in front of the class and for everyone to see. (This is called: creating heroes and wrecking them.)

11) Have your students inform on each other.

If this is starting to sound like abuse, well.. you’re right. It is. It also very successful in terms of achieving its goal. The goal is attacking the student’s perceptions, beliefs, and their understanding of the world while reshaping them into who you want them to be.

Real cruelty is clever and inventive. It is also patient. Like a good interrogator, this teacher will leave their students so they’re never sure of exactly what the teacher wants or how to please them. They give them hope, then snatch it away. Someone who excels at social manipulation will use this position of power to maneuver their students feelings and their expectations, indirectly point them at certain targets by stoking negative feeling such as jealousy, paranoia, anger, or fear. In the other hand, those rare moments of kindness offered will ensure gratitude. When a good teacher wants their uncooperative students to band together, they make themselves the target the students need to fight against. The abusive teacher does the opposite. They ensure they are the only boat in the storm and turn their charges on each other. They make sure their students never know what to expect. This includes going hot and cold. They change up to batter expectations, handle some problems themselves and let the students handle others.

An experienced teacher will have seen plenty of student characters, all the versions you can imagine. A good one will break the problem kids to bridle without them ever realizing it happened, and they exit the experience more hardcore than the ones who invested themselves honestly. The purpose of “brutal training” isn’t to churn out a better warrior. It’s to break the individual down so you can reshape their mind and ensure the weapon you’ve created is loyal to you. That level of conditioning is very difficult to break. You’ve re-oriented their entire training into status positions they’ve fought for and earned. This training becomes a foundation for their identity, and you’re not going to get it out of them.

So, before invoking the trope, choose wisely and understand the purpose for what it is. Actively abusive training is done with the express intent to recondition and brainwash. More than that, in competent hands, it’ll snap the “rebellious teenage hero” contingent like twigs.

As a member of a fanatical cult, Altair is a direct example of this sort of training writ large.

-Michi

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Dinner

credit to original owner for gif

Genre: pure smut

Words: 2,115

summary: you looked like a full course meal – and jeon sure as hell was starving


Smiling, you looked into the mirror and admired your reflection. Your black body con dress hugged you in all the right ways and your heels gave you that extra height that you’ve always wanted, despite still being shorter than your boyfriend. Tying a diamond choker around your neck, you applied a generous amount of makeup: subtle smoky eyes, mascara, lipstick, and a dash of brown eyeliner. You looked more than beautiful, instead of going for a cute look, you unknowingly went for sexy and stunning. You weren’t ever sure if the person staring back at in the mirror was really you. Tonight, you were going out to a private celebratory dinner with the boys as a congratulations for their Billboards award. By private, you meant only the boys and you. 7 boys and 1 girl, what could possibly go wrong?

Glancing at the clock, you remembered that the boys were waiting for you downstairs. You were currently at your home, but they decided that they should go all together since it’s more convenient. You were just thankful that you didn’t have to drive and use up your gas. Checking your appearance once more, you tucked a small strand of hair out of your face, smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles on your dress, and headed down the stairs. Upon your beauteous descendant, the sound of cameras going off instantly caught your attention.

“This is going to be my new background.” V unintentionally spoke aloud.

“You know… Jungkook is to your left, right?” Jimin whispered in his ear, trying to warn him.

Eyes widening, V’s body turned stiff as his head slowly turned to face Jungkook, wincing as his eyes fell upon his cold gaze. 

“I was joking!” V tried defending himself, but it was too late.

Jungkook was possessive of you, everyone knew that. If someone were messing with you and Jungkook felt as though you were threatened, he would rush to your aid. There was a time when he almost punched Jimin because he playfully hit you, but Junkook thought it was much more. Knowing this, the boys were very cautious when Jungkook was around, but once he left, they were free to mess around with you as much as they wanted. You loved being around them, despite Jungkook being like a second mother to you. They were all so caring and fun to be around, so you enjoyed every second with them and of course, Jungkook was right besides you. He wasn’t one of those clingy boyfriends, just the ones that tend to look out for you, even when it’s unnecessary. According to him “A king should always be protective over his queen. Without a queen, there is no king.” He was a good boyfriend and you made sure he knew that by flattering him everyday. 

“Oh god, Jungkook…” You began.

“What’s wrong? Is he bothering yo-”

“You look so damn good in that suit.” you praised, smirking as you checked him out from head to toe. “All of you look very handsome tonight.”

“I think I should leave you at home.” Jungkook glared as he proposed, watching your eyes trail all over his members.

Instantly refuting, you laughed as you wrapped your arms around Jungkook, leaning in to give him a kiss, completely forgetting that you two were not the only ones in the room.

“I think we should leave both of you at home.” Namjoon scoffed, interrupting ‘the moment’.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Jin said, looking at Namjoon and shaking his head.

“Let’s go already. I’m hungry.” Yoongi whined as he pouted.

Agreeing with his complaint, you all filed out the door and transferred into the car. The car ride to the extravagant restaurant was filled with off key singing and imitations of one another.

“You guys remember how Namjoon danced during Blood Sweat and Tears, right?” V mentioned, bursting into laughter as Namjoon’s cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

“I did the same choreography you guys did!” Namjoon defended.

“No, you didn’t.” All the members said in unison, causing Namjoon to sulk in his chair.

“Leave him alone, you dorks. I believe he did just fine!” you spoke up.

“Did you just call us a dork?” Hoseok playfully questioned, “You’re the youngest one here!” 

The seven men erupted in fits of laughter upon hearing this fact. It was true, you were younger, but only by a month. Jungkook was older by a month and yet although he dislikes the word ‘oppa’, he loved the way the syllable rolled off your tongue. The members would tease him about it, but he paid them no mind, only ever keeping his attention on you and only you. Once you had arrived, you all walked into the table out by on the balcony. This was your favorite kind of spot, so they made sure to book the entire area. The horizon was plastered with lovely strokes of blue and black, the moonlight contrasting your simple yet astounding makeup. But there was a problem. The servers had miscounted the chairs and you were the only one without a seat. 

“Excuse me!”, Jin called out, “We reserved a table for 8, not 7.”

The waiter’s expression instantly became apologetic as he spoke, “I’m so sorry, but we’re completely booked tonight. We don’t have any more chairs to spare.”

“That’s not our fault, you -” 

“It’s okay!” you chirped, “I’m sure we can figure something out.” 

Bowing as an apology, the waiter quickly walked away, flooding the scene.

“Do they want to see my wrath? How could they miscount?” Jin scolded.

You shook your head, slightly laughing at Jin’s remarks as you crossed your arms. “Seriously, it’s oka-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Jungkook pulled you on top of his lap and wrapped his arms around the waist. The men at the table instantly praised him for his manliness while your cheeks instantly heated up.

“Jungkook! This isn’t necessary, come o-”

“Babe, it’s fine.” Jungkook interrupted, preventing any further discussion. 

Clearly defeated, you sighed and continues to sit on his lap. Momentarily after ordering, you reached over to grab your glass of water. Upon doing so, you just so happened to roughly brush your ass on his crotch, causing him to choke on his steak.

“You better not be doing that on purpose.” Jungkook warned, releasing a low growl in your ear which sent chills down your spine.

“That was an accident.” you said before returning to drinking your water.

At first, it was unintentional, but you loved the way Jungkook got aroused. He was always teasing you in bed, so it’s not unfair to do it back, now is it? Dropping your napkin on purpose, you bent over the table to reach for it, going painfully slow as you rubbed against him. He choked back a loud moan as he gripped your thigh. 

“So that’s how you want to play, huh?” You didn’t have to look back to know that he was smirking.

You pretended to not hear him as you continued to binge on the side dishes, but the moment you felt his hands slithering under the thin fabric of your dress, you knew the night was going to be agonizingly long. Acting as if his actions had not phased you, you began to talk to Yoongi about his music.

“Is it safe to suspect a second mixtape being released soon?” you playfully asked him, putting your hand over Jungkook’s as you attempted to stop his hands from sliding into your panties. But it was too late.

Softly, yet roughly, playing with your clit, you harshly swallowed a sound of pleasure as you gripped onto his wrists, unable to stop his movements.

“I would believe so. I’m working on a new track with Jimin and it’s going very well.” Yoong said,  praising the younger one in which Jimin smiled shyly in response. 


As the men talked amongst themselves, Jungkook took this as an opportunity to slip two fingers in between your wet folds. Eyes widening, you nearly hit the table in shock. Luckily for the both of you, you were seated at the edge of the table. Not only that, the table cloth covered his hands under your dress and Jungkook’s tailored black suit prevented anyone from seeing his movements.

“Don’t you think this is a little too far?” you said, speaking loud enough for only Jungkook to hear.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He feigned innocence as he began leaving butterfly kisses down your back.

Curling his fingers, you bit your lip painfully hard as you clenched the table. Picking up the pace, his fingers pumped in and out of you, your wetness drenching his fingers whole. When your walls began to clench around his digits, he smirked and pulled his fingers out, causing you to release a small whine as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Lift your ass up a bit.” Jungkook softly demanded.

Obeying his orders, you heard the sound of his dressed pants slowly unzipping. Oozing with wetness, you could only think of the pleasure that was bound to follow.Two hand on your waist lowering you down, you gently grasped his erection between your hands, placing it at your entrance. Without any warning, Jungkook shoved you down on him, causing you to accidentally release a loud moan as he shut his eyes in pleasure and rested his head on your back, unable to look his members due to embarrassment.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked, concern washing over his defined features.

You profusely shook your head, “I bit my tongue really hard.” 

Laughing at your silliness, they continued carrying on with their conversation, completely oblivious about the scene that was playing right before they very own eyes. 

“You got to be quiet, baby. We don’t want them to find out, now do we?” Jungkook whispered into your ears as he played with your clit.

“N-No.” you whispered.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you.” Jungkook teased, clearly enjoying how you were so sexually frustrated.

“No.” you repeated more confidently, earning a sexy chuckle from him.

Slowly moving up and down, you had created enough friction to satisfy the both of you. With your hands over Jungkook’s, he continuously fondled you as he thrusted in and out. It was nearly impossible to be ‘quiet’ seeing as to how his thrusts were small, yet so powerful. His penetration had you completely filled, every movement was pure bliss. The night was ending and everyone was exhausted, clearly bloated from all they had eaten. Splitting the check evenly, the men started to rise from their seats, causing you both to halt your little performance. 

“You guys go first, I need to talk to her privately.” Jungkook said with respect, despite being balls deep in your pussy. 

Unaware of the situation, they quietly left you guys alone while closing the door as well as the balcony curtains. Conveniently enough, you sighed in relief which only lasted momentarily before Jungkook pulled out quickly as he stood up from his chair, bending you over the table. 

“You’ve been quite naughty tonight, haven’t you?” Jungkook said, rubbing his dick inbetween your folds, but refusing to put it in.

“Yes.”

“You need to be punished.”

“Please, punish me.” You begged as you put both hands on your ass, giving him a better view of your exposed body. 

Without a second thought, he thrusted into you, causing you to moan. You could be as loud as you want since everybody had left and the music was being blasted in the main room. No security cameras. No waiters. Nothing. Nothing but you and Jungkook.

Grasping your boob with one hand and the other gently on your throat, Jungkook’s thrust became more and more deep which means that your moans became louder, completely filling the air of the still night. Clenching around him, he gave you one last hard penetration as you both came simultaneously. Fortunately, you were on birth control which Jungkook highly appreciated. Standing up, you sat on the table as you faced him.

“I meant to say it earlier, but you looked amazing tonight.” Jungkook said with a cheeky smile.

“So did you.” you retorted, “but I wish I had eaten more. The food was pretty good.”

Sliding a single digit between your folds, he brought his finger up to lips, seductively licking them clean.

“I’m pretty full.” 

Sweet Creature

Words: 7,500

Warnings: Smut

Harry sighed as he peered into the kitchen from his spot by the staircase in the living room. He’d like to be next to Y/N and Gemma right now, but his neighbor had whisked him off into a conversation about gardening that he truly had no interest. Nevertheless, Harry was polite, so he stood patiently and nodded and “mhmm”ed at the appropriate moments. He couldn’t help but let out a wistful sigh as he saw his sister and best friend slip out into the backyard.

As much as he appreciated Anne throwing a party in celebration of his first solo concert, he silently wished he had just gotten a private day in his hometown. Harry knew his friends and family were proud of him. But he was nothing if not humble and a little bit selfish. He so rarely got time at home to see Y/N, and he wished he could actually spend a moment with her now instead of playing host to what felt like the whole village. He’d much rather have been relaxing on the couch watching a rom-com with the girl he could never get enough of.

Just then, his mother swooped in to rescue him with a bright smile and gentle hand on his arm. “Sweetie, would you mind bringing the rest of the chicken out to Robin to grill? And maybe bring him a beer?”

He nodded much too fast for someone being asked to do chores. “Sure, mum.” He kissed her cheek and smiled brightly at their slightly disgruntled neighbor. “Sorry, mate. Talk to you later, yeah?”  

Harry wove his way through the crowd in the house to get to the kitchen. After slamming the refrigerator door shut with his hip, two beers clutched in one hand, he snatched up the last tray of chicken from its spot on the stove. He thanked Barbara from the bakery for opening the door to the back garden for him and offered her a cheeky smile she saw more than nearly anyone else.

Robin stood at the grill next to the deck, laughing and listening to the conversation going on in the chairs nearby. He saw Harry exit the door from the house and quickly waved him over.

“Having fun?” he asked, taking the tray of chicken and leaving Harry’s other hand open to start popping caps on the beer bottles.

Harry shook his head a little and snorted.  “You know how it is. Lots of small talk and cheek squishing.”

“And not getting to see Y/N,” Robin replied knowingly. He chuckled as Harry rolled his eyes before taking a pull from his beer.

“How has she been? I haven’t really talked to her much yet.”

“She’s lovely as always. I think her dad is having a bit of a hard time. You know the 15th anniversary of her mum’s passing is next week. She’s stayed with us the last couple of nights.”

Harry couldn’t help but frown. Y/N’s mum had died of cancer when she was only seven. Her father had been a dear friend of his mother’s, so they’d taken Y/N in when it happened. Her father hadn’t wanted her to see her mother like that, nor did he think he could properly care for her. Harry and Y/N had always been friends, but those four months that she lived with them had given them a bond no one could ever replace. They’d been absolutely attached at the hip their whole lives. To this day, the guest room at the Styles/Twist household was mostly considered Y/N’s and held some of her pictures and personal belongings. She’d long been a member of their family.  “She’s coping okay, right?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself, nosy?”

One of his only regrets about participating in X Factor and leaving home so young was that he felt like he had abandoned Y/N. She had come to visit him in LA and London a few times and had even joined him on tour, but she always felt obligated to return to Holmes Chapel to make sure her father was cared for. Though they were best friends, they often went months without talking because Harry was just too busy. He hated himself for that.

“Harry! Come sit a mo’ and have a chat?”

He turned to see his cousin Charlotte gesturing to the chair next to her. Robin’s clap to his back was taken as a dismissal as he made his way over.

“Hey there, rockstar. How ya doing?”

Harry settled in the chair and grinned. “Good, good. ‘N you?”

“Wonderful! Kyle just started his new job, so we’ve got a good income now. Not that you’d know anything about that,” she joked and leaned over to playfully nudge his shoulder.

Harry was sure his smile looked more like a grimace. While he may not have been hurting for money, there had certainly been a time when he would skip dinner just to save his mum a little money. He knew as much as anyone how hard it could be.

“Robin! Anne wants to know what’s taking so long with those birds!” Harry perked up at the sound of Y/N’s sweet voice washing over him like a lullaby. He quickly turned to see her leaning out the back door with a bright grin.

“Can’t rush these things, Y/N. At least gotta buy ‘em a drink first, love,” Robin joked. The crowd around him laughed along with Y/N.

“Right, I’ll be sure to tell your wife that!” Her gaze shifted to Harry and she smiled softly at him. He tried to wave her over, but she held up a finger in a “hold on” motion and disappeared back into the house.

“So what is Kyle doing, then?” He continued to make small talk with his cousin Charlotte as Gemma reappeared and took up the last chair on the deck right next to him.

Y/N returned about five minutes later carrying a bowl that Harry quickly determined was filled with fruit.  She stood by him and held the bowl down to offer him a piece, but he shook his head. “Come sit,” he told her instead.

She rolled her eyes at him. “There aren’t anymore chairs, H.”

Just as her hand holding the bowl of fruit started to retreat from him, he quickly grasped around her wrist and tugged her forward. When she stumbled just as he knew she would, he took a firm but gentle grasp of her hips and settled them down on his legs.

“Harry!” she scolded, knowing he’d made a scene. While Harry tended to thrive under the public eye, Y/N often did her best to hide from it. That was the primary reason Harry loved to take the piss out of her. Nevertheless, she shifted back to a more comfortable position on his lap and sat a bit sideways so she could hear the conversations going on. Harry wrapped one arm around her, resting his hand on her opposite thigh to keep her securely in place while the hand nursing a beer rested itself against her knee. He couldn’t help but chuckle as she flinched at the cold bottle just barely touching her skin. She finally went back to eating her assortment of pineapples, strawberries, and grapes as she listened to Charlotte.

“He’s just started work at the pub down the road from our house. The pay isn’t that great, but he’s been making loads in tips,” she finished.

“Where is Kyle, anyway?  I haven’t seen him yet, I don’t think.” Y/N was considered a member of the extended family and had attended every family event for the last 15 years. Since she had stayed in Holmes Chapel, Harry figured she probably knew more about his family these days than he did.

“Oh he’s off on a lad’s weekend in Bristol. His mate is getting married next week.”

“Oh good, that means he’ll be all freed up for when Harry and Y/N over here get married soon,” Gemma teased.

“Gem!” Y/N exclaimed. Harry noticed that her cheeks flushed to a pink very similar to the bath water on his album cover.

He just chuckled and gave her a little squeeze.

“Just saying! You two have that whole agreement anyway where if you’re still single at 28 you’re gonna get married. I hate to say it, Y/N, but you two aren’t getting any younger.  Plus you’re like in love anyway. It’s inevitable,” Gemma defended. She seemed unfazed by Y/N’s embarrassment.  

“Ooh, that just reminded me! Harry, you just have to tell me about that girl you wrote ‘Carolina’ about! That’s far and away my favorite song on the album, and I need to hear more about my future cousin in law!”  Charlotte gushed, looking at Harry with excitement in her eyes.

Harry didn’t miss how Y/N tensed at the mention of the song that he knew she for some reason despised. He hated to admit that it hurt him a little bit. He was proud of “Carolina”, and though he knew his opinion of his artistry was the one that truly counted, he didn’t like the thought of Y/N not liking one of his songs.  His hand slipped from her thigh and rested on the arm of his chair. “Oh, I don’t think she’s your future cousin in law.  Just a girl I met in paradise.”

Y/N quickly scarfed down the few remaining pieces of fruit in her bowl. “Think I’m gonna bring this back inside.   I’ll catch up with you later,” she told him quietly. She didn’t bother to look at him as she stood from her seat on his lap and retreated back into the house.

Gemma couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the exchange unfold. The two of them were too oblivious of the others’ feelings for their own good and were absolutely horrid at communication.

Robin finally finished the last batch of chicken and called everyone inside to make plates of food. If Harry thought the inside of the house had been busy before, it was nothing compared to when all the people that had been outside also made their way in for food. There was hardly room in the house to walk, much less find anyone.  Luckily, Harry was tall enough to see over the majority of the crowd, and he found Y/N sitting next to his mum as they split a plate of food.  

After he’d had his fill, Harry stood off to the side and leaned against the wall as he observed everyone around him. He finally had a moment alone as it seemed that everyone was too busy chewing to make conversation.  

He wasn’t alone for long, however, and he stood up straighter as soon as he saw Y/N making her way over to him.  She didn’t look particularly happy, but he put that down to her current family affairs. Though she tried to not let it show, Harry knew how much the loss of her mother affected her.

When Y/N finally reached him, she wrapped her arms tightly around  his waist and rested her cheek upon his chest.  He was much taller and could tuck her head snugly under his chin as he returned her embrace. “Missed you,” he heard her mumble.

Pushing his upset feelings about her distaste for his song aside, he squeezed her tighter and pressed a kiss to her hair. “Missed yeh, too, love.” His hands took to rubbing her back comfortingly as they stood in their embrace. He knew how much Y/N having her back rubbed soothed her. “Yeh look pretty today.”

Her hair had been curled prettily, her lashes long and full with the help of the mascara she had applied to them. Her outfit had been kept simple with a pink sweater over her flowy white tank that she had paired with jeans and flats. She didn’t try as hard as most did to look pretty, but Harry always thought she was the most beautiful girl in the room.

A rosy blush painted her cheeks as she pulled a little to look at him. “Thank you, bubs. You’re looking mighty handsome today, as well.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. It was the one she had given him when she was six and he was seven, and to this day he’d never heard her use it on anyone else. “Thank ya, love.”

“Harry!” they heard Robin call, and Harry chuckled as Y/N whined quietly and squeezed a little tighter around his waist. “Can you come help me clean the grill real quick?”

Harry left one last parting peck to her forehead before releasing his grip on her and moving out of her arms.  He followed his step dad into the back garden to provide assistance.

“I think now that everyone has full stomachs, they might be heading out soon. Hopefully we won’t have all these stragglers on our hands late tonight,” Robin commented as they went to work scrubbing the burnt bits from the grate.

Harry huffed in response. “Better not. I’d quite like a relaxing night in to be honest.”

Robin nodded. “I know you would, kiddo. You’ll get it, I’m sure.”

All in all, cleaning the grill only took about ten minutes. While they were outside, the two men wandered the yard holding trash bags to pick up garbage that had been left around to minimize the cleaning later. Finally, Anne called Harry in to start saying goodbye to guests as they began to depart just like Robin suspected they would.

When Harry made his way into the house, he saw that Y/N and Gemma had started to pick up the kitchen much as he and Robin had been cleaning the back garden. He saw them occasionally reach for their respective glasses of wine as they put food in containers and cleaned dishes.

Harry continued to play host and made small talk with the guests as they all gave him their closing remarks and good luck wishes. He thanked each of them sincerely and made sure to give an anecdote about their lives as well. Finally, after what felt like hours of talking, hugs, and handshakes, he collapsed onto the couch with the opening titles of The Notebook playing on the telly.

One by one, the family settled in with him. Robin took his usual recliner spot, and Gemma curled up with Dotty and a blanket on the love seat. Harry could hear Y/N fussing with Anne over helping to clean the kitchen.

“Y/N, I will not take ‘no’ for an answer. You go relax a bit. You’ve been picking up after people all day,” he heard his mother scolding and Y/N’s response in the form of an exasperated huff.

“We’ll get it done faster if I help you, Anne. You deserve to relax, too.”

“And I will as soon as I finish this. Now, shoo. Go be lazy for a tick.”

Y/N was still grumbling quietly to herself as she reached the living room and collapsed in a heap next to Harry on the couch. She automatically leaned her head against his arm, wrapping her own around his waist and craning her neck to see the move on the screen.

Harry chuckled. “You’re a snuggly little thing today. Budge up for a sec, love.”

Y/N groaned but lifted back off of him. He didn’t say anything as he moved a throw pillow to rest against the arm of the couch before swinging his legs up to the side and sprawling out across the length of it. With Y/N trapped between him and the back of the couch, she had nowhere to go but to rest against him as he held his arms open for her. After her head was settled against his chest and her hand against his heart, he reached down to pull her knee up and tuck her top leg between his. Once their ankles were comfortably tangled together, he clasped his hands together on her upper arm. “Comfy?” he checked, though he knew she was. Y/N loved to be held almost as much as he did, and this was their favorite cuddling couch. They were practically pros at the movie session cuddling by now.

She nodded against his chest but didn’t verbally respond as she had already gotten herself engrossed in Noah and Allie’s summer romance.

When Anne returned from the kitchen, she settled down with Gemma and pulled her daughter’s feet into her lap.  She took to reading a book while the rest of the family watched the movie on screen. Just as Allie discovered Lon was in town looking for her, Anne felt Gemma’s foot gently nudging at her thigh. Anne looked up at her, and Gemma jabbed her finger in the direction of the couch.

The Notebook was Harry’s all time favorite movie, but he couldn’t seem to be bothered by what was happening on the screen. His hand was wrapped up in Y/N’s hair, softly pulling his fingers through the tresses as he seemed to be humming to her. Her eyes were shut as she rested against him, but Anne doubted she was totally asleep. Unlike Harry, Y/N found it hard to sleep in public settings. Even this house, one she’d practically grown up in, was usually too public for her to sleep aside from in her designated bedroom.  Occasionally she’d see Harry whisper something and Y/N’s lips move in return, but her eyes never once blinked back open.

Finally, when the movie credits started rolling, Robin was the one to shatter their bubble. “Y/N, I hope you were planning on staying here again tonight, because I’m not letting you drive home at this hour. You’re too knackered. Get upstairs, kiddo.”

Y/N yawned and leaned up, Harry’s hands falling from her body in response. She had a few lines on her cheek from the wrinkles in his Harley Davidson tee, and she rubbed gently at her face to relieve the soreness. “Y’ can’t get rid of me that easy, Robin,” she replied, her voice laced with drowsiness. “I see your plan. I’m staying in that guest room forever.”

Anne laughed at her. “That’s your room, anyway, sweetheart. It’s for you to sleep in as long as you want it.”

Harry sat up as well so that Y/N wasn’t pinned behind him on the couch. “I’m pretty tired, too. Think I’m g’na head to bed.”

Anne nodded.  “Alright. Sleep well, love. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Harry climbed the stairs behind Y/N and watched as she went straight to the bathroom to brush her teeth and take her makeup off. He shuffled up beside her to brush his teeth as well and made sure to annoy her by bumping her hip with his to make her move to the side.

“You’re a right pest,” she grumbled, “D’ya know that?”

Harry grinned, mouth full of foamy toothpaste, and pressed a smacking kiss to her cheek.

“Ew, Harry!” she scolded, wetting her hand to wipe the toothpaste from her face.  

He finished his nightly routine long before she did and retreated in to his childhood bedroom to go to bed.  He stripped off his tee and jeans, opting to leave his briefs on just in case Anne came to wake him up for breakfast in the morning. He had just settled into bed and was scrolling through Instagram on his phone when he heard the quietest of knocks sound on  his door.  “Yes, love?”

Y/N just slightly peaked the door open, looking as shy as ever as she stood in an old shirt and her worn out plaid sleep shorts. “Can I come in?”

“’Course ya can,” Harry said, setting his phone down on his nightstand. He shifted a little further to the other side of the bed and sat up a bit as she quietly shut his bedroom door behind her and tiptoed over to his bed.  Instead of sitting cross-legged on top of the comforter as she usually did when she came in for their late night chats, she gently lifted the blankets up and climbed in next to him and settled her head against the other pillow.  She didn’t say anything but started to trace the tattoos adorning his arm as he looked down at her. “Y/N? What’s gotten into yeh today, love?”

She shook her head and didn’t respond, seemingly too caught up in the outline of his rose to properly respond.

“Y/N,” Harry said a little more stern, gently moving his arm away from her as he sat up fully against the headboard.

She shifted in response to his tone, backing up a little and sitting up in the bed.  Her bum rested on her feet as she stared at him solemnly.  “It’s just…”

“What, love?”

Y/N shook her head, features showing that of shame as she looked down at the bed linens instead of him. “Nevermind, I’m being silly.” She started to move to get up from the bed and make her retreat, but she was stopped by Harry’s large hand cupping her cheek.

“Love, if something is truly bothering you,then s’not silly. I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me what it is, hmm?” His hand against her face made it so that it was nearly impossible for her to look away from his piercing green eyes.  

“It’s just…Townes.”

Harry blinked, barely understanding what she meant. “Okay…? What about her?”

She sniffed, and Harry’s heart broke knowing she was struggling so much with what she wanted to say. “It’s stupid and selfish, but I hate knowing that you write all these songs about these girls and the world knows all about them and you thrive on it. You put her name in the bloody song, Harry! Everyone loves it, and I don’t even know her, but I feel like you guys just have this connection now that I was never good enough to have. It’s just…am I not special enough to you for a song? I don’t want you to be so ashamed of me that you won’t tell anyone about me.”

Harry’s mind scrambled as he intook this information. He never imagined this was how she would feel about the song.  Her words hit him like a ton of bricks and suddenly he knew. That feeling in the back of his mind that he’d always tried so hard to keep at bay…she felt it, too. She wouldn’t be so upset if she didn’t.  She loved him, too.  And he’d inadvertently made her feel unwanted. Y/N was all he’d ever wanted whether Harry had known it or not. He knew he had to make her feel better and hurried to grab her hips and pull her closer to him. She started to slip and fumble against the bed so she grabbed onto his shoulders to steady herself. Once her knees had been pulled to either side of his lap, he pushed her hips down to settle her into a straddle above him. “No, love.  That’s not it at all. ‘S that what’s had yeh upset ever since we were out in the yard today? Yeah, I wrote a song about a girl that I barely know. Think people might get a bit tired of me if I wrote them all about you like I’d like to do.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “W-what?”

Harry chuckled, pulling her closer by the hips and nuzzling against her neck. “You beautiful, silly girl. You didn’t really think ‘Sweet Creature’ was about Gem, did you? You do have a song, and a very special place in my heart. But that’s just it. You’re too special, love. I’m too selfish to share you with the whole world.”

“W-wait, ‘Sweet Creature is about me?” her eyes watered as she looked at him in awe.

“’Course it is, love. ‘S just that you’re mine and the world can’t have you. Gotta protect yeh from them. Pretty sure I’ve loved you my whole life. But my love for you is just for you, and I don’t wanna share that with the world.”

Y/N seemed to sputter as she struggled to keep up. “You l-love me? Harry, I-I-” She started to get choked up and couldn’t seem to find the words to say.

“I know, love.  I know.” He reached up to hold her face in his hands, lifting his leg up to shift her closer to him. His gaze was locked on her mouth as he inched closer, and Y/N thought she might faint.

Finally, when their foreheads were pressed together and she could feel his warm, minty breath on her tongue, she let her eyes slip closed. One of her hands that had been resting against his shoulder moved up to fist at the back of his curly locks. “I love you, too, bubs.”

Harry felt as if he’d been struck by lightning when he buttoned his mouth firmly to hers. He was sure he could’ve spent his entire life just kissing her like that, but his body immediately craved to have her closer. She gasped when he traced her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, and he quickly took the opportunity to dive into her mouth. She let out a little whimper that almost made Harry groan aloud when his tongue touched hers. Her fingers tugged gently at the roots of his hair as she pushed herself as closely to him as she possibly could. Their tongues tangled between their mouths for a moment before Harry gave her what she thought would be a reprieve, but she let out another little noise when he took her bottom lip between his teeth and gently sucked. This time he couldn’t control the little growl that bubbled up from the back of his throat and quickly reattached his lips to hers.

Y/N could feel the vague smug smirk adorning his lips through their kiss over the noises he was making her generate.  To retaliate, she quickly disconnected their kiss and trailed her lips down his jaw and neck, finding a nice place to bite down on at the same time that she rolled her hips forward against his. He groaned in pain and pleasure and took her hips back in his hand. “D-Do that again, love.”

“Do what again, Harry?” Y/N teased as she soothed over the bite on the side of his neck with her tongue. She gasped lightly when his hands gripped firmly to her bum and pushed her hips forward again. This time, there was no mistaking the erection straining hard against his briefs. “F-fuck,” he stuttered in her ear as she moved against him once more in a wave, enjoying the feeling of him heavy and warm between her legs.

Y/N lifted her head to kiss him again as she continued to grind against him. While she had him thoroughly distracted with her lips, she quickly moved her hand down between them to palm at him through his underwear. As soon as she pressed down into the bulge, Harry parted from her with a gasp of his own. “Don’t h-have to, love.” The next noise he let out could only be called a moan as she pressed her small hand against him again.

She shook her head and pressed her lips against his in a quick peck. “Want to,” she promised.  

Harry nodded, eyes closed and head leaned back as he just absorbed the feeling of her against him. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth to avoid being too loud as he felt her hand dip inside his underwear and brush against his swollen length.

“Can we get these off?” She tugged at the waistband of his Calvins, eager to get him loose so she could put her mouth on him.

Harry fought to open his eyes and make them focus on her face as he nodded and tapped against her thigh to signal her to move off him.  As soon as she was kneeling at his side, he stuffed his thumbs into the side of the briefs and lifted his bum to shove them down his legs. Once they were successfully discarded, he looked down at himself to see his length twitch slightly against his tummy, the raspberry tip bubbling a little bit of pre-cum against the hairs just under his belly button. He could almost cry it felt to good to be out of the confines of his underwear.

If he thought that felt good, it was nothing compared to what the felt when Y/N leaned down to timidly kitten lick at the little spot he’d dripped on himself. He bit down on the skin of his hand to keep from making a noise too loud as her tongue accidentally brushed against his slit. She looked up at him as if to get permission, and he nodded quickly at her before she looked back down and began to kitten lick at the underside of him as she took his length in her hand. Her tongue brushed against the vein throbbing there before getting caught briefly on the ridge of his head, and already Harry was frustrated by the veil of her hair obscuring his view. He gently brushed it up into his hands to hold on to as she finally took the head of him into her warm, wet mouth.

“Baby, please,” Harry almost whimpered. His balls were starting to hurt because of how turned on he was.  Luckily, she didn’t make him wait any longer and quickly bobbed down on him, her hand following her mouth’s path back up before sliding down again. On her next pass up, she lolled her tongue around his tip like it was a lolly, and his head fell back at the feeling. “Ungh.”

Y/N began to move faster against him, dragging her hand up and down the length of him with her mouth provide sufficient lubrication. She could taste the occasional blurt of pre-cum against her tongue, and it only made her want more. His little groans and gasps spurred her on even more, and she finally reached up his hands to cup at his balls while she had him deep in her mouth.  He groaned a little louder than he should have at the feeling, and she slid her mouth back up for her tongue to swipe at the slit of him just as her thumb gently pressed to the space just behind his sac.  He immediately gasped and reached down to grab at her hand. “N-No, I’ll cum. Ungh. Can’t cum yet. Have to be inside you first. P-Please, oh God, please don’t make me cum.”

She pulled up and swirled her tongue against his head one last time before sliding off him with a little “pop” noise. She pressed kisses against his hips and fern tattoos while she waited for him to catch his breath.

He panted rapidly against her, struggling to keep a quiet level as he tried not to lose his mind. “Fuck, where did you even learn that?” He laughed a little deliriously as she smiled against his hipbone. Finally, Y/N pulled herself up against him and he didn’t waste time pressing his lips to hers. “Are you gonna let me make you feel good?” He asked between kisses.

She whimpered against him and nodded almost imperceptibly. “Please,” she whispered against him, and he took that as his cue to gently flip them over so she was on her back.

“Let’s get this off o’ yeh, yeah?” Harry gently pushed her shirt up her torso, pressing kisses to the skin he exposed along the way. His tongue just briefly caught against her erect nipple before he lifted up to pull the shirt completely from her body. He quickly returned to the area, suckling her right nipple into his mouth as his fingers tweaked her left. She let out a quiet sigh of contentment against him and tangled her fingers in his hair, gently massaging his scalp. After giving her left breast the same attention her right had received, he started kissing back down her torso.  His hands slipped into the waistband of her shorts and pulled them down, leaving her panties in place.

Harry almost groaned at the sight of Y/N’s underwear. Baby pink cotton was darkened slightly between her legs, and he couldn’t help but gently press his tongue against the wet spot she had made. He wasn’t sure if it was the pineapple she’d had earlier in the day or if she just always tasted that sweet, but he immediately knew he had to get a better sense. He dragged his tongue up and pressed it gently against where he knew her clit would be, and she let out a wet gasp at the feeling. “S-stop teasing,” she stuttered, tanking gently against his curly locked entangled between her fingers.

Harry chuckled against her and kissed gently at her hipbone. “Just returning the favor, love.” He gently pulled down her underwear, and his mouth began to water at the pretty pink feast in front of him. “Christ, baby. So beautiful. Are yeh wet for me? I know yeh are.”

She nodded, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she waited for him to move. Unfortunately, he seemed to be too preoccupied admiring her to actually do anything. “Harry, dammit, do something!” she groaned.

He looked up at her with a smirk. “Now, love. Gotta be patient fo’ me. Can yeh do that? Here, suck my fingers and get them nice and wet fo’ me, please.” He pressed his ring and middle finger against her lips and waited for her to close her eyes and suck them into her mouth. “Good girl.” Just when he was sure she was sufficiently distracted, he dipped down and licked a broad stripe up her sex. She immediately went slack jawed and struggled to inhale. He pressed his fingers against her tongue to remind her of her task at hand, and it took a moment before she wrapped her lips back around him and went back to sucking.

Harry’s tongue gently prodded against her entrance, taking the opportunity to lap up the sweet essence that was nothing but uniquely Y/N. When he had gathered most of her wetness on his tongue, he pushed his tongue into her briefly and made her whimper before removing his fingers from her mouth. “Thank you, love. Doin’ so good for me, aren’t you?” He brought his newly wet fingers down to her entrance and slowly pushed just one in, feeling her wet, spongy warmth wrap tightly around him. He fought against a groan of his own as his tongue gently lapped at her clit.

“Haoh, shit, Harry,” Y/N moaned, making sure to keep her voice low as her grip tightened in his hair. As soon as she pulled slightly against him, he groaned against her and set vibrations all across her clit. She whimpered and tugged a little harder, noticing how Harry’s eyes squeezed tighter shut and he licked at her with a little more enthusiasm. The knowledge that he liked having his hair pulled when he was eating a girl out nearly made Y/N fall apart. “Harry, please, more.”

He was apparently done with the teasing as well and pushed a second finger into her without preamble. He thrust them gently inside of her as his lips wrapped around her clit and sucked, and she turned her head and moaned into the pillow next to her. His fingers began searching her walls for that spot that would drive her mad, and he licked her clit into his mouth before gently shaking his head against her. His fingers brushed against a spongy spot inside her at the same moment and pressed into it. Her legs immediately snapped shut around his head as her muffled moans increased slightly in volume. Harry went back to licking against her for a moment as his fingers thrusted against her spot. Then he alternated between suckling against her and licking, noticing how the variety had her squirming underneath him. When he felt her walls begin to flutter around his fingers, he hooked his fingers against her little spongy bump and rubbed against it and his teeth sunk gently into her clit before giving her a good suck. His tongue ran just once against her clit, and she was falling apart beneath him whispering his name like a mantra. He worked her through her orgasm, only coming up when she tugged a little harsher against his curls due to sensitivity.

Her chest heaved against him as he journeyed up to her neck, pressing gentle kisses against her while she came down. “Yeh good, love?” he checked when he felt her breathing start to slow to a normal pace.

She managed the smallest of laughs against him. “I’m much better than good, bubs. I’d quite like for you to make love to me, though.”

Harry couldn’t help the elated grin that lit up his features, and he pecked gently against her lips twice. “Are you sure you’re still up for it?” When he saw her sparkly-eyed little nod, he couldn’t help but kiss her again. “Then it’d be my pleasure. Do yeh want me to use a rubber?” He knew she’d been on birth control since she was 17, but he’d still give her the option to see what she was more comfortable with.

She shook her head immediately. “Just wanna feel you.”

Harry smiled against her lips. “Never been bare with anyone before.”

Her cheeks got dusted with that rosy pink color he loved, but she didn’t seem as embarrassed as usual by his blunt language. “Me either. ‘M glad we can be each others’ firsts.”

Harry immediately shook his head and reached down to line up against her entrance, smiling at her gasp when his tip brushed against her still-sensitive clit. “Baby, we’re each others’ lasts.” He covered his mouth with hers before she could respond, he pushed inside her.

Y/N certainly hadn’t been with as many people as Harry, but she was no virgin. Despite that, she’d never felt anything quite like Harry inside her. She knew it wasn’t about the lack of a condom covering his length. It was her Harry, the boy she’d run through gardens with as a little kid. The guy she’d shared her first kiss with against a tree when she was eleven years old. She’d always loved him, and she’d never felt closer with anyone in her entire life. The knowledge that she, with her legs wrapped around Harry’s waist as he was buried to the hilt inside her, his lips gently rubbing against her collarbone, could not be any physically closer to him if she tried was enough to make her eyes misty.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Y/N. Swear I’m gonna love yeh forever.” She could barely hear the words uttered against her neck as he made his first careful withdrawal, all the way to the tip, before gently thrusting forward again. He looked up in alarm when he heard her sniffle, but she quickly took his face in her hands and pressed kisses to every bit of skin she could get at.

“I love you, too, bubs. Forever and a day,” she promised. He smiled against her just because she always had to one up him, then he pressed his lips to hers as he began to move a little faster inside her.

She gasped when the length of him brushed against that spot inside her, and her arm tugged him closer by wrapping around his shoulder.

“Shh, baby, gotta stay quiet. Can’ have them comin’ in, can we?” Harry gently hushed her his lips brushed against her temple.

She nodded against him and tried not to cry out as he reached down to grab at one of her knees around his waist. He gently hoisted her leg up into the crook of his arm to provide a new angle in which he could push deeper into her. His other hand braced against the bed to hold himself up as he pushed in all the way and grinded his pelvic bone against her clit. Immediately, her eyes snapped shut and jaw dropped open at the feeling, nails digging into his back as she fought for something to keep her grounded to earth.

Harry continued to thrust a little harder against her, always aiming for her spot, and stopped occasionally for those little grinds he quickly discovered drove her crazy. Her little gasps morphed into whimpers and whisperings of his names and quiet moans, and Harry nearly lost his mind. He began to thrust faster against her with the leverage his arm provided against the mattress, hitching her leg higher up in his arm so it was pressed between their torsos.

“Harry, Harry, ‘m gonna cum, please come back,” Y/N sounded desperate as she tried to hold off her climax. She wanted him close to her when she came, and she ran her nails down his back in an effort to pull him down to her.

“Shh, shh, I’m here, love. S’alright.” Harry immediately dropped her leg down from his arm and moved down to hover just above her. He took one of her hands from his back and intertwined their fingers together above their heads. He felt her legs wrap back around his waist as he pressed his lips against hers and moved a bit faster in an effort to get her to climax. He cursed slightly under his breath when the headboard started to gently tap against the wall in their efforts, and he reached up to hold the top to keep it from making to much noise. “Rub your clit for me. Can yeh do that, love? ‘M gonna make yeh come, I promise.”

The hand of Y/N’s that he wasn’t holding onto snaked into the narrow space between their bodies, and she gasped as soon as her fingers made contact with the nerves. She used her legs around his waist to pull her hips tight to his on every thrust he gave her, meeting him halfway. “Wan’ you to come with me. Please, please do it with me.”

Harry nodded frantically, feeling the coil burning white hot in his belly. “I will, baby, I will. Fuck, I love you so much.” He felt her walls begin to flutter around him, and he knew he was done for. He squeezed her hand tighter in his and thrusted as hard as he could while keeping a hand on the headboard in order to minimize the noise. “Come now, baby. Come with me.” They moaned into each other’s mouths as she clenched around him like a vice in her climax. He didn’t stand a chance as soon as she started to close in on him, and he disconnected his lips from hers to bite down into the spot between her neck and shoulder as he felt the coil in tummy snap. She continued to use her hips to thrust up against him as his orgasm hit full force and he emptied himself inside her. The feeling of rope after rope coating her walls was something she’d never felt before and never wanted to go without again. Finally, when she started to feel that he was spent, she released her legs from around him and reached up to brush a stray curl from where it was matted with sweat against his forehead. Her own forehead and body felt clammy with perspiration, but whether it was hers or his she couldn’t be sure. He shook lightly in her arms as he lowered himself down to her, pressing kisses to every bit of skin he could get at. He went to pull out of her, but she scrambled to put a hand against his hip and push him down into her.

“Not yet,” she begged, “wanna feel you just a little longer.”

Harry smiled, nodding his head as he lifted his head just slightly to kiss her. This kiss was less frantic than the previous ones had been. It was slow and unhurried and full of nothing but love. When Harry felt himself going soft inside her, he gently retracted his pelvis from Y/N’s before pressing kisses across her face. “Thank you for being amazing, love.”

Y/N felt her eyelids beginning to flutter shut from exhaustion but smiled nonetheless. “Thank you for loving me, Harry Styles.” She allowed him to pull the covers up their naked bodies, turning off to the side so that Harry could spoon behind her. She prayed they’d wake up in the morning before Anne came knocking on either of their doors and discovered what had happened before they got a chance to properly explain themselves. But when she felt Harry’s lips press gently to the shell of her ear, his arm around her waist and his whole body warming the back of hers, she decided to live in the moment. She’d worry about tomorrow when it came, because she knew she could handle anything with Harry by her side.




Thanks for reading, guys! I’d love feedback so let me know what you thought!!!

-S

All Or Nothing - Smut

Originally posted by dylanmysunshine

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Reader
Words: 6,244
AN: College AU, all human. This was never meant to be published tbh but you can thank @writing-obrien​ for it getting done. Also shout out to @hardladyheart​ for her late night motivation and @sarcasticallystilinski​ for spitballing title ideas with me.

The song that’s sung is obviously not mine, it’s by State Champs. Listen HERE.



You transferred into Berkeley college in the beginning of your sophomore year. You hated starting a new school, but at least it was college and not high school. You’d been here a few weeks. You hadn’t made any friends yet, just your roommate, but you were more acquaintances. She was an art major and a little quirky, plus her boyfriend lived off campus so she wasn’t around much.

Being a music major had it perks. There were a lot of hot guys in the music department, but most of them were too involved with their own projects to notice you. You were pretty quiet, always lost in your own head. No one would have guessed that you weren’t the least bit shy. And you liked to keep it that way.

However, life had become boring. You finally had the hang of your classes and schedule but you needed to find something else to do with your time. Which is why you found yourself in the music building, standing in front of the bulletin board. Most of the notices were the same, people selling instruments or looking for them, people looking for practice space, advertisements for open mic nights. But one flier in particular caught your eye.

It wasn’t fancy at all, maybe a little creased and wrinkled from being in someone’s pocket. It was plain white, written on with black Sharpie.

GUITARIST WANTED

FOR COVER BAND

MUST LIKE/PLAY ROCK MUSIC, POP PUNK.

CALL SCOTT

310-422-1124

There was a crudely drawn Chewbacca next to it, holding what looked to be a guitar. You chewed your bottom lip in thought. You could do that. You fit the qualifications. You pulled out your phone, typing the number in and saving it to your contacts for later.

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