okay no more wine with lunch for me

gilmore girls starter sentences (part one) 

  • ❝ i wanna be good, life’s just not letting me. ❞
  • ❝ i need coffee in an iv. ❞
  • ❝ who cares if i’m pretty if i fail my finals? ❞
  • ❝ give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. i need some heroes.  ❞
  • ❝ i think we should get married. ❞
  • ❝ don’t look at me, i had nothing to do with it. ❞
  • ❝ my god, those are good genes. ❞
  • ❝ we should be out partying with the homies. ❞
  • ❝ school comes before _______’s mental health. ❞
  • ❝ great, we can hold hands and skip afterwards! ❞
  • ❝ i almost fell off the roof of my house, so i have to have pancakes. ❞
  • ❝ this is what i’ve always pictured the inside of my head to look like. ❞
  • ❝ i walked around in a blind rage, i was crazy. ❞
  • ❝ take a polaroid. paint a still picture. do whatever you want. ❞
  • ❝ you’re a vicious trollop! ❞
  • ❝ should i be putting a tongue depressor in your mouth right about now? ❞
  • ❝ well shake him real hard! maybe he’ll disappear! ❞
  • ❝ i think i may have loved you, but i just need to let it go. ❞
  • ❝ oh sure, but first why don’t you use a medieval torture instrument to crush my ribs and flatten my spinal cord in order to accommodate your sadistic wishes? ❞
  • ❝ jerk! ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, lowlife, butt-faced miscreant! ❞
  • ❝ here’s to hoping that your cat exposes itself to you soon. ❞
  • ❝ what are we if not the world’s champion eaters? ❞
  • ❝ my excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole. ❞
  • ❝ don’t go all west side story on me, okay? ❞
  • ❝ stop trying! stop talking to me, stop following me, stop asking me questions. just stop! ❞
  • ❝ you seem very obsessed with length. ❞
  • ❝ that’s so cute, you’re like a really sweet old agoraphobic couple! ❞
  • ❝ gee, thanks for spoiling it for me. ❞
  • ❝ an innocent boy/girl/person like me should not be raised in an atmosphere like this. ❞
  • ❝ do you want to push me in a lake? it’s cathartic, i hear. ❞
  • ❝ did anyone ever think that maybe sylvia plath wasn’t crazy, she was just cold? ❞
  • ❝ when a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not buy her a puppy. ❞
  • ❝ people are especially stupid today. i can’t talk to any more of them. ❞
  • ❝ i need it to be over because i can’t take this anymore. ❞
  • ❝ only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch. ❞
  • ❝ this great man was brought down by my vagina, okay? ❞
  • ❝ if you’re gonna throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle! ❞
  • ❝ tie your tubes, idiots. ❞
  • ❝ am i crying or laughing? ❞
  • ❝ i have no patience for jam hands! ❞
  • ❝ i’m attracted to pie. it doesn’t mean i feel the need to date pie. ❞
  • ❝ i love you, you idiot. ❞
  • ❝ i’m afraid that once your heart’s involved, it all comes out in moron. ❞
  • ❝ it’s all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang out with ‘till we drop dead. not a lot to ask! ❞
  • ❝ oy with the poodles already. ❞
  • ❝ this thing that we’re doing here… you and i. i just want you to know that i’m in. i’m all in. ❞
  • ❝ it’s five in the morning, go make coffee at your own house. ❞
  • ❝ i can’t stop drinking the coffee. ❞
  • ❝ i stop drinking the coffee, i stop doing the standing, walking, and words putting into sentence doing. ❞
  • ❝ i’m planning on despising everyone who says ‘hey, how’s it going?’ ❞
  • ❝ i freak out at beddy-bye. ❞
  • ❝ all they do is bitch, bitch, bitch. ❞
  • ❝ i’d rather have bird crap fall on my head. ❞
  • ❝ i don’t like mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually. ❞