okay need to stop but just so bamf

Today on: “Homeboy Did Not See That Coming”

The Real Kurt

Pairing(s): Kurt Wagner x Reader

Setting: Post-Apocalypse

Physical Mutation: Red Skin, horns

Author’s note / Warnings: Self-mutilation of some kind, so please be careful. I decided to write Kurt’s dialogue with the V’s and etc., because I felt it’s better to read it like that.  I really hope you enjoy this and thank you so much for all the love you gave for “ Just like fire”, I really, really, really appreciated it!!!


A mirror can be one of the greatest enemies a person could ever face.

For Kurt, it was greater than Apocalypse, it was greater than any cage match to the death, it was greater than any nerve racking task his teammates put him up against. Because to him, being featured in a gory bloodbath would be much more enjoyable than having people stare at him, to have people speak of him behind his back, to be laughed at.

And frankly (Y/N) felt the same way.

That was probably why they found themselves so attracted to one another. When Kurt first found himself stepping foot through the doors of the X-Mansion he was greeted by a few people. A bright little peer by the name Jubilee, a sarcastic “laser-pointer” called Scott, and a soft-spoken redhead named Jean. But when he happened to look up in awe at the glorious foundation that surrounded him, when he spotted a moving entity snuggled up in the chandelier.

Kurt waved up at the cowering creature and greeted whatever it was. Jean and the others looked up at what had caught their new friend’s attention, Jean curled her lips into a half smile and shook her head.

“That’s (Y/N)” Jean said, pointing to the chandelier. “She’s a bit shy around new people, especially new students”

“Vhy?” Kurt asked, his was riddled with deep curiosity.

(Y/N) peaked over the brass candle hoops, she caught a glimpse of her new peer and felt the anxiety that swirled inside of her stomach pacify. Kurt kept his gaze on her, his yellow eyes quite warm. (Y/N) gripped the top of the dangling lamp and boldly jumped down with a swish. Her knees put her in a squatting position with her arms supporting her balance, she looked up at Kurt with a sharp gaze.

Kurt’s eyes widened at what he had just witnessed, and more importantly at what he was witnessing. She had rather dark, ruby-like skin, gleaming (Y/E/C) eyes and beautiful (Y/H/C) hair forming around her unique face. Kurt then looked just a little further and notice yet another interesting feature bared upon his intriguing classmate. Upon her head were a pair of large, brown horns that seemed to curve around the shape of her skull. A bit like a ram’s horns.

The blue boy felt at a loss for words, but up in his private mind he thought of only one word; Beautiful. But, in fact his mind was not that private, without his knowledge a Miss Jean Grey was listening intently as her new friend gushed over the once biggest “freak” in the entire school.

And the rest might as well be history.

Now here we were, a year later with much progress. (Y/N) sat under an oak tree with a notebook in her lap, a calculus textbook rested, open, up against the bark foundation. Kurt sat with his legs crossed close to her side, their hips touched. He watched his scarlet girlfriend scribbled numbers across the lined page, his eyes followed her gel pen as it move swiftly.

This was actually the longest they had been together since last month. Kurt didn’t know why, but every since the team got back from an urgent mission in Ireland (Y/N) didn’t seem to want to talk to anyone. Not even Kurt, the one person she felt she could tell anything to. And what gave off the red light signals to everyone that something wasn’t right was the black hat (Y/N) wore all day everyday since the mission. If you saw her you saw the hat, if you didn’t see the hat, you didn’t see her.

Today was no different. Kurt looked up shyly at (Y/N), questions swirling around his brain, every second a new one would confront his subconscious. He couldn’t help think that (Y/N) was in trouble, that she was in so much trouble that she couldn’t even tell him about it. He wanted to fix whatever was troubling her. But where should he start?

“(Y/N)” Kurt chimed in.

(Y/N) looked up from her notebook, tilted her head and face her boyfriend, “Yeah?”.

“Are you okay? I mean, I just vant to make sure zhat…I don’t vant you to think zhat you can’t tell me something. Ve’re best friends just as much as ve’re…you know” Kurt stumbled on his words.

(Y/N) looked away from Kurt and dropped her head in shame. She didn’t want to have to hide anything from Kurt, because he was right. They were best friends, and they were a couple, both meant that you should feel comfortable enough with each other to not want to bottle up and just wait to explode. But what if he thought she was crazy? What if he was mad?

(Y/N) sighed and felt her hands tremble just at the mere thought of Kurt reacting badly. But then she felt the blissful warmth of one of Kurt’s unique hands, at first it ghosted over hers, then it settled comfortingly on top.

“When we got to Ireland I left the hotel around noon to go out walking” (Y/N) began, her eyes still glaring holes into the grass. “I stopped at a duck pond for a while. Then a family walked by and this little girl saw me. She screamed, she called me the devil and started crying. Before I knew it everyone was staring at me, suddenly I was back in all of those bad places. All of the worst memories I could think of, they were all happening at once”.

(Y/N) wiped a few scattered tears from her cheek with great frustration. But as the dreadful experience came flooding back, her tears came flooding in. She felt Kurt warp his free arm securely around her as she attempted to control herself. She took a few deep breaths and took Kurt’s hand tightly. She took her other hand and slowly removed the mysterious black hat from her head, once off (Y/N) dropped it carelessly on the ground.

Kurt’s yellow eyes widened at the new discovery, it confused him, and saddened his at the same time. (Y/N)’s (Y/H/C) hair seemed to be cleanly shaved in circles around her horns and scraggly down the right side of her head, she must have been trying to shave that entire side off. The skin around the horns were covered in sliced scars and scabs. Kurt examined the cuts before pressing a light kiss to (Y/N) temple and muttering against her skin.

“Vhat happened?” Kurt felt himself on the brink of tears.

“Once we got home I tried to get rid of them. The horns. I tried cutting them, cutting around them. They just wouldn’t budge” (Y/N) shook her head. “Then I realised, even if I could get rid of my horns I still have this skin. I will never be looked at as a person, even if I am a part of something that does nothing but good, even if I could somehow save every single person in the entire world I would still be the fucking devil!”.

(Y/N) slapped her hands over her face and inhaled the incoming sobs she held in. Kurt could practically feel his heart breaking in half as he felt (Y/N)’s back vibrate as her attempts failed and she let out a short river.

And again, this was probably why they found themselves attracted to one another. The pain they felt was completely mutual.

Kurt’s POV

There came a point in every day when every student in the entire school left their dorms and hurried off to the kitchen for dinner. The teachers usually stayed behind or went out to a restaurant, every teacher except for Hank.

Hank liked to stay behind in his lab and go over an entire year’s worth of journals, anxiously reading over his old handwriting searching for notes that could help with his current projects. So, when Hank was going over journal number twelve at his cluttered desk he was greeted a loud noise and sudden puff of smoke.

Hank jumped in his seat, “Jesus!”.

Kurt turned to the man and felt a rush of realisation. He really needed to stop bamfing in without a warning.

“Sorry” Kurt said sheepishly as Hank shuffled to collect his fly away journals.

“It’s, uh, okay. Just…please don’t do that again” Hank looked at Kurt sternly, “Ever”.

Kurt nodded and instinctively placed his hands into his pocket. He waited for Hank’s attention, though after the first few minutes of no progress he be decided to take a different route.

“Professor McCoy!” Kurt spoke up.

Hank turned in his chair and took off his glasses.

“I need your help”.

“Then come back tomorrow and ask me after class. I’m a little busy right now”.

“No, not zhat kind of help. More like…mutant to mutant help”.

Hank looked at Kurt with great in interest, but suddenly his features dropped.

“Kurt, I really hope you are not about to ask me what I think you are about to ask me”.

“You made a treatment for mutations” Kurt looked down at his hands, “Physical mutations”.

“Yes I did, I made it for me because I trust myself to not over do it. I’m sorry Kurt but I have no idea what that treatment could do to you, or your powers. For all we know it could enhance your physical mutation” Hank looked out towards the only window in the room and laugh softly, “Me being the perfect example”.

“Professor McCoy please. I’m not doing zhis selfishly, I need zhat treatment for a friend”.

Hank leaned over in his seat and looked straight up at Kurt with an expression a big brother would give a baby brother.

“(Y/N)” was all he said.

“It’s serious. I’m worried she’s going to hurt herself”.

Every single one of Hank’s previous stances and claims nearly went through the lone window. He wouldn’t admit it but, Hank had a soft spot for students like (Y/N) and Kurt. Students like him, though he knew that Kurt and (Y/N) were different, they had to carry their outlandish appearances everywhere without a choice.

Hank sighed deeply, “Alright, go sit down on that table”.

(Y/N)’s POV

For an entire day Kurt was nowhere to be seen. After the talk under the tree (Y/N) constantly felt as if a dense bubble was surrounding her. So far no one knew about what’s under the hat except for Kurt. But just like any other day since Ireland (Y/N) walked alone back to her dorm after class as the hallways became as cluttered as LA traffic.

As (Y/N) made her commute down the main hall she was interrupted by the call of her name. She whipped her head around and saw Hank rushed around the hungry kids heading to the kitchen. He stumbled a bit until he reached (Y/N) with a frantic expression.

“I need you to come back to the lab, please it’s urgent” Hank said.

(Y/N) inclined and followed her Professor back through the hectic horde. Once they reached Hank’s door he seemed to be almost hesitant to open it. (Y/N) cocked her head to the side and eyed Hank’s weird behavior.

“Professor?” (Y/N) raised her eyebrow.

Hank grasped the door handle and looked at (Y/N), “I’m sorry, I just want you to be prepared for what you’re about to see”.

“What is it?”.

“The reason Kurt wasn’t in class today”.

(Y/N) eyes nearly popped. Her stomach churned with anticipation, anything that happened in Hank’s lab was either bizarre or terrifying. And by the tone of voice Hank was using, it sounded like a combination of both. Hank pushed the door open and let (Y/N) in first. (Y/N) surveyed the room and spotted a moving figure nearly the tin cabinet in the corner of the massive room.

“Kurt?” (Y/N) questioned as she inched closer to the figure.

The right side door of the closet was shut closed by a pale hand…with five fingers. (Y/N) felt her mind race with questions, with only a few answers. Suddenly the owner of that five fingered hand came into full view.

A boy with what seemed to be grey eyes and curly brown hair looked back at (Y/N), he flashed a shy smile that was all too familiar to her. (Y/N) gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth in shock, pure shock.

He didn’t have to be blue to still have that kind smile.

Kurt approached (Y/N) with great caution, he offered her one of his pale hands. (Y/N) touched Kurt’s new hand, Kurt let his fingers intertwine with (Y/N). It made her sad, the peachy tone interlocked with the muted cerise looked truly faulty.

“He took some of my serum, the one I use to put my mutation on a leash” Hank chimed in, still standing at the door. “It should start wearing off soon”.

Kurt’s expression suggested he took that fact into consideration.

“I thought it vould make you feel better. Just to try it” Kurt said softly.

“What about my powers?” (Y/N) asked almost immediately.

“If you take the right amount they shouldn’t be affected” Hank said.

Kurt walked over to the metal table and grabbed a syringe filled with blue liquid. He took his place back in front of a shaking (Y/N). He took (Y/N) ruby arm and looked to her for approval. She bit her lip and nodded her head. The needle punctured  (Y/N) wrist and flooded her veins with medicine. Kurt took the needle out and rubbed his thumbs across the tiny rupture it made on his girlfriend’s wrist.

(Y/N) eyed her arm as a sudden sensation within her stomach erupted. The red hue of her skin began to fade upward, starting at her fingertips and finding its way to her forehead gradually. Suddenly a thundering feeling surrounded (Y/N)’s head, much like a massive migraine. (Y/N) groaned and threw her hat off. Kurt took her both sides of her head, (Y/N) countering with her new peachy hands grasping his as her horns began to cease back into her skull.

(Y/N) tightened her grip on Kurt’s hands even when the pain stopped, the sudden realisation of what she must look like now dawned on her, it frightened her. Kurt leaned in and touched (Y/N) nose with his. He pressed a quick kiss to (Y/N)’s now pink lips and felt her smile into it as usual.

When he pulled away (Y/N) looked him dead in the eyes, her features soft, “Can I see?”.

“Of course” Kurt said, taking her hand and leading her back to the tin cabinet.

He opened the right door which revealed a small squared mirror hanging next to purple sticky notes. (Y/N) looked at an unfamiliar face that supposed to be her own. Her (Y/E/C) still intact, but no scarlet shade adorning her complexion. Now peachy skin and pink lips looked back at her, and she couldn’t believe it. With her mouth opened ajar (Y/N) watched as a single tear ran down her cheek. Her bottom lip trembled.

“Vhat’s wrong liebling?” Kurt asked.

He stood behind (Y/N) and put his hands on his shoulders. (Y/N) could see the both faintly in the mirror now. But it wasn’t them. She wouldn’t be able call him Blue anymore and no one wouldn’t ever call her Little Red ever again.

“It’s not the same” (Y/N) turned around and faced Kurt, “Don’t you see it?”.

“Vhat I see is no vone ever ridiculing us for the vay we look. I thought you vanted this, to look normal”.

“Kurt, I want people to accept me, for me. I don’t want to change so people will accept me, that doesn’t do any good for me. In fact, I love being a mutant, I love looking different. I may have some moments, like a month ago, where I become overwhelmed and I try and do something that I know I will regret. And I lied, about my horns not coming off. The truth is I stopped when I finally came back to reality and realised why they were so important to me” (Y/N) took a pause to catch her breath.

In the midst of the quick silence Kurt stared down at his feet, his face painted the picture of deep thought.

“If I never became like this I wouldn’t have known that the family I was with wasn’t my real family. I wouldn’t have found out that they never really loved me, I wouldn’t have found out that my real family was you. You, Scott, Jean, Hank, everyone”.

(Y/N) took Kurt’s chin and brought his head up slowly, she made sure he looked her directly in the eyes as she spoke even more softly than before.

“And if it makes any difference, I prefer the real Kurt. The scarred, blue, teleporting Kurt”.

“Even zhe tail?” Kurt asked with a blush forming on his cheeks.

(Y/N) smiled, “Especially the tail”.

 (Y/N) took Kurt’s face into her hands and leaned in.

“And a wise woman once taught me a very important lesson. She told three very special words. Mutant,” (Y/N) pressed her lips to Kurt’s in a quiet fashion, she could feel her heart thump like a hyperactive rabbit.

In that moment Kurt didn’t just feel the loving kiss of (Y/N), he also felt the rush of his veins disposing of Hank’s serum. His five fingers conjoined unwillingly back together to form three navy digits. His entire complexion went back to its original blue shade.

(Y/N) retreated her lips, her eyes landing proudly on Kurt’s old self, “And proud”.

Kurt grinned, his fangs bared. (Y/N) returned the smile and just wondered how long until she could be her again. Until she could be the real (Y/N).      

squeeingfangirl  asked:

Your post about what you'd change in HOO made me realise just how angry i am at everybody not respecting Percy. Like I kept having to tell myself that this was normal, this is aother serie I need to stop expecting everyone to consider Percy as a total bamf because he's not at the center anymore, they're all bamf and it's okay for Percy to stand on an equal footing with them... But no. The others are great but it doesnt justify completely all of Percy's accomplishment and treating him so unfairly

Exactly!! Percy shouldn’t be on equal footing with the others (apart from maybe Annabeth, who’s been with him every step of the way) because he’s so much more experienced and powerful than them. And it particularly doesn’t make sense to portray these characters who have literally only just found out they’re demigods as being on the same level as Percy, who’s been in the game for five years at this point and is, again the most powerful demigod.

Rick could have easily kept him as powerful and impressive and intimidating without letting his narrative overtake the other’s in the ensemble cast, but instead he tried to diminish Percy’s in universe importance while simultaneously devoting more time to his personal narrative than other’s, which was just completely jarring to read. (Until BoO, of course, where Percy and Annabeth became nothing more than afterthoughts.)

I really didn’t like the whole serial-dater thing. I thought it was a really sexist angle on my life. And so I just stopped dating people, because it meant a lot to me to set the record straight —that I do not need some guy around in order to get inspiration, in order to make a great record, in order to live my life, in order to feel okay about myself. And I wanted to show my fans the same thing.