A/N wow who knew my titles could get even shittier. okay so i dont wanna be like slacking all the time, and i know i said this fic would be up last week but my mental health has been absolutely shit so im sorry. anyway 90% is dialogue and its pretty shit but yeah here you go i guess. im lowkey proud and my goal for this fic is 300 notes (i got 280 on my last one so far). if you like please like/ reblog and send me prompts!!!
excessive dialogue, minimal editing, lots of praise, fluffy smut, riding, friends to lovers, mentions of kickthesticks oops
Dan walked around the cafeteria in his worn out converse and ripped jeans, trying to spot which table his friends were at today. As usual they were in the very corner of the cafeteria, all huddled together and laughing. Dan sat between Byrony and Phil as soon as he reached the table. Once he placed his school lunch down on the sticky table Phil instinctively wrapped a protective arm around his best friend’s waist. Phil didn’t know it, but Dan had a huge crush on him, anyone who met them definitely knew. Thats why their friends made fun of them constantly, because Dan had told them his obvious secret.
“Tone down the PDA mate,” PJ laughed from the other side of the table.
“Oh shut up PJ, you’re just jealous because you don’t have someone you can do this with,” Phil shot back. PJ just scoffed and Dan giggled, leaning into his friends touch.
“As if, Chris clearly wants PJ to fuck him,” Dan said without thinking.
“Dan! You said you could keep a secret you dick head!” Chris blushed violently and hid behind his own hands.
“Wait what?!” PJ exclaimed as if it wasn’t obvious. Everyone laughed except for Chris, who was still hiding. PJ took Chris’s hand from his face and held it while whispering something that no one else could hear.
“Oi, tone down the PDA mate,” Phil mocked.
“Oh shut up Phil,” Byrony but in, “So how long have you and Dan been together Phil?” Dan blushed and hid in Phil’s side. If they kept making jokes like this Phil would find out soon, and he couldn’t have that, it would ruin his friendship with Phil.
“Come on ass hat. You all know were not together and never will be,” Dan remarked.
“Mhm sure honey,”
Later that day they were all going out to a movie, Dan had a backpack with a blanket and “secret” snacks to sneak in for him and Phil. Knowing them, they’d end up putting away the arm rest in the theater and cuddling while wrapped in the blanket, no matter what movie it was. Dan found it as his own personal heaven and suggested movie nights each week months ago. It was his only way to get the physical affection he craves and not be teased by Peej.
“Hey Phil, do you want to come over tonight? My mums not home, we could stay up all night.” Chris asked waiting in line for their tickets.
“Sorry mate I’m already going to Dan’s tonight.”
“Yeah to fuck!” Peej laughed at his own dumb adolescent joke. Byrony giggled and nodded her head.
“You aren’t funny dick, we’re just friends!” Dan defended.
“You literally sat in Phil’s lap on the way over here,” Byrony said while giggling more, “And he played with your hair!”
“Thats what friends do!”
“Uh huh sure”
During the movie Dan had somehow migrated into Phils lap again. Phil was playing with his hair with one hand and rubbing agonizingly slow circles on Dan’s hip with the other. Dan had no clue how Phil did this and still somehow payed attention to the movie. The entire time he buried his head in Phils neck and he was imagining fucking Phil. He knows its wrong to think about these things while he’s in his best friends lap but he cant help it.
Slowly Dan started to grow hard, he shook his head and tried to think about anything else. grandma grandma grandma.
“You okay babe?” oh yeah, another thing, they always called each other babe and baby, but they’re just friends mind you.
“Mhm just tired,” Dan faked a yawn and snuggled farther into Phil’s neck.
“Go to sleep then, I’ll carry you out to the car later and wake you up when we get back to your house.”
“Mmk darlin, night.” Although Dan was faking the yawn he was quite tired, and he wanted to stay up late tonight. He decided it was best to just stick with the lie and go to sleep on Phils chest.
Dan was currently snoring lightly on Phil’s chest and muttering something incomprehensible while being carried out to the car.
“Oi, wake princess up,” Chris snickered.
“I’ll just sit him on my lap and buckle him in with me. Let him sleep asshole.”
“You know he likes you right?” Byrony stated matter of factly.
“Yeah right, stop joking guys, you know I like him, theres no need to get my hopes up,” Phil scoffed and sped up towards the car.
Their three friends shook their heads behind him. Dan and Phil would find out eventually. Right?
“P-Phil,” Dan said lightly while tightening his grip on him. Phil thought that Dan had woken up so he responded with a small “hm?” but got no response. They had just dropped off Byrony and now were heading towards Dan’s house. Since Phil didn’t get an answer he just assumed Byrony slamming the door woke up Dan for a split second.
That was until Dan grinded against Phil’s thigh. Phil felt a surge of arousal shoot through his body. Dan did it again and Phil gasped. Dan opened his mouth to moan again but Phil quickly covered his mouth. He couldn’t believe this. His best friend, not to mention his crush, was having a wet dream. In his lap. In the back of their friends car. Moaning Phil’s name! Phil debated waking him up, or just waiting until they got home and ignoring the whole situation. His awkwardness decided the second option was best.
Only seconds later Dan was grinding again and panting against Phil’s hand which was still covering his mouth. Phil prayed to every god he could think of that this car ride would be over soon because he was starting to get hard under his sleeping friend. He knew that he shouldve moved his hands from where they were on Dan’s hips because he didnt want to invade his friends space during a dream like this. Phil’s self conscious had a different idea though and moved his hands somewhere worse. Dan’s plump ass. He knew it wasnt right but he couldnt fight his instincts. Dans grinding slowed, but only so that he could push back into Phil’s hands.
Phil squeezed hard and Dan’s eyes shot open.
“Oh no,” Phil whispered almost completely silent.
“Okay guys, we’re here.” Peej announced from the front seat, “See you guys Monday. Have a good weekend.”
Dan slowly and cautiously crawled out of Phils lap, careful to hide his hard on from his friends as they said goodbye. When Chris and PJ pulled out of Dan’s drive way Dans mouth failed to make a sound even though he opened it.
“I’m so sorry Dan! I dont know what i was thinking but you were grinding on me- and- an- and you moan- moaned my name! My body was just reacting I’m so so so sorry!!” Phil spat out quickly.
“Hey, ba-Phil, don’t worry, its okay, I lik-” Dan paused and didnt finish his thought, “Lets just go inside. We dont have to talk about it if you dont want to okay babe- Phil.”
“Oh god I’m so sorry for making things awkward I didnt mean to but you kept going and oh god im so sorry-”
“Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to shut up Philly?”
“Make me,” Phil shot back but instantly regretted it. “Oh my god I didnt mean t-”
He was cut off by Dan’s lips against his.
“Do you really think you touching my ass bothered me? You even said yourself that i was moaning your name idiot.”
“Shh,” Phil joked and grabbed Dans hand. The kiss had boosted Phil’s self confidence, and he thought back to what his friends said about Dan having a crush on him. “How about we go up to your room baby? We can handle the little problem I have and sort our relationship out afterwards.”
“O-okay,” Dans usually dominating voice was small and timid now. He led Phil into the house and tugged his hands up the stairs. He wasnt leading because Phil didnt know where to go, of course he did, but because Phil was going at the slowest pce possible so that Dan would have to wait. “Please Phil, come onnn~” he whined.
Once they reached Dans room he flung the door open. “Calm down baby, you’ll get what you want if you wait.”
“But I want you now-” Dan was going to continue complaining like a child but he was cut off by a kiss.
Phil pulled away and smirked,“Thats pay back for cutting me off earlier dick.”
“Philly! No cussing!”, he playfully hit him on the chest. He was glad that his crush changed nothing. Hell, him grinding on his friend while having a wet dream changed nothing. They were still best friends and this moment made that clear to Dan. Phil smiled goofily at him and leaned in again, only to end up kissing Dan’s cheek though because Dan moved at last minute. Dan giggled and did it again when Phil attempted another kiss.
“Oh whatever babe, now come on, I wanna kiss you more.”
“Hmm- Nope.” Dan slid out of Phil’s grip and giggled as he ran across the room and leapt onto his bed. Phil chased after him, laughing also. He sat down next to Dan and just gazed at his friends eyes.
“You’re so gorgeous Dan,” he said as he reached out and cupped his face, “Can I kiss you again?”
“I dunno can you?” Dan teased. Phil rolled his eyes and leaned in slowly. Their lips collided and Dan swore he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. It all seemed so real, Phil’s hand in his hair, Phil’s lips on his own. Quickly he became paranoid. Even though they had this moment of goofing around would their friendship change after tonight? Would they end badly? Apparently Phil could hear him thinking because he pulled back.
“Dan, baby calm down. We can stop if you want, we dont have to do anything. We can even pretend this never happened if thats what you want. I would never do anything to hurt you love.”
“I’m just scared- I want you though, now come here again,” They kissed at Dans pace and soon Dan leaned back and rested his head against the pillows. “Will you touch me? Please? I dont care what you do. Just please-”
“Of course princess. Can I straddle you?” Dan nodded and Phil climbed into his lap. He lowered his hands down to Dan’s sides and looked up for consent before putting his hands under Dan’s shirt. It was all so intimate, Dan couldnt help but moan at the light little touches running up and down his chest.
“Please- just give me more please baby I’ll do anything.”
“We’re gonna go slow okay? Just wait and you’ll get what you want.”
Phil took Dans shirt off after asking if it was okay and slowly started to kiss over his chest. “You’re so pretty, have such a nice chest and a lovely stomach.” He pinched Dan’s side in a joking manor and smiled up at the giggling boy.
Dan blushed and looked away,“Oh come on youre just saying that,”
“I know you just found out I fancy you, but ever since we met I have thought that. Youre truly breathtaking Dan, and if youll let me I’d really really like to touch you right now.” He kissed down Dans stomach, closer and closer to his pant line.
“Plea-” His plead was cut off by a loud moan as Phil kissed his dick through his skinny jeans. “More. More More More Please!”
Phil unzipped Dans skinny jeans and started to pull them off. They got stuck at mid thigh and Dan burst out laughing. “Stop laughing you dick!” That only made him laugh more. Phil silenced him though by mouthing over Dan’s briefs. Dan gasped as soon as he felt the warm sensation through his underwear and Phil could feel his friends cock twitch.
“How far do you wanna go love?”
“Can- I- um-” Phil was sliding Dans skinny jeans off fully as Dan was attempting to speak.
“Can you fuck me?” Dan said in one breath. Phil smiled up at him while he took his own shirt off.
“How about you ride me? That way you can control the pace baby. Does that sound nice?” Dan glanced at Phil’s exposed chest and was only half listening when he nodded. “Have you ever prepped before? If you know what im trying to say…” Phil stared down at his feet and blushed as he was saying this. Dans confidence had shot through the roof with all of the compliments Phil was giving him so he decided to go with his cocky response.
“Of course I have, I did this morning in the shower. Thinking about your nice thick cock. I want it everywhere. In my hand, in my mouth, in my ass.” Phil groaned and hurried to take off his own skinny jeans while Dan kept going. “I even did after school too, before the movie. I was thinking about you touching me the whole time. Thinking about your fingers trailing all up and down my chest. Thinking about your lips nipping at my neck-” he was cut off by Phil doing just that. He left a love bite right above his shoulder and then carried on with more all over Dan’s neck. He left one right below his jaw, one on his collarbone. Anywhere he could reach.
“So I dont have to stretch you then?” Phil laughed in a teasing way and asked Dan where he kept the lube.
“Be-bed side table-” Dan blushed as Phil pulled Dan’s boxers down.
“Hm? Why are you so nervous? What else am i going to find?” He said casually as he slipped off his own boxers and reached for the drawer.
When Phil opened the bed side table he expected pornos, or the pair of joke hand cuffs PJ got Dan last christmas. But not all of these. No. He would never guess that dan would have these.
Lets just have a run down of what exactly Phil was looking at. A drawer full of bright pink and purple dildos. And vibrators. And lacy panties. Black ones to be specific. And two bottles of empty lube and one fairly empty bottle of lube. His jaw dropped as his picked up a huge vibrator. Phil would say that hes a pretty big guy down there but this fucking vibrator was at least ten inches.
Dan hid behind his hands as Phil examined all of the different vibes and such.
“Hm.. maybe we’ll have fun with those later, but for right now I think I’ll just have you ride me.” He smirked again cheekily and Dan just rolled his eyes and grabbed the last bottle of lube and a condom.
“Shut up and turn over so I can ride you, you dick,” he said as he rolled the condom onto Phils dick.
“Oh look at Mr.dominant coming out. Who wouldve guess you’re dominant with all of those toys in there?” Phil snickered at his own joke but Dan just hit his chest and shut him up with a kiss.
Since Dan was acting so needy Phil decided it was best to just get on with it. So he had Dan straddle him and positioned his cock right at Dan’s entrance. As Dan slowly sunk down onto the tip of Phil’s dick they both groaned. Phil had to try with all his might to keep his needy teenage body from bucking up into Dan.
“Oh god- can I go further?” Dan asked.
“Of course you can doofus.”
Dan tweaked his nipple for that comment; which was simultaneously causing pain and pleasure for Phil. He began to go further, taking in an inch at a time and pausing to groan and take a breath. It was pure agony for Phil to just sit there completely still so he tried to distract himself with praises for Dan.
“Good job baby boy, you take me so well, look so good like that.”
While Phil let these praises out Dan had nothing to do but gasp and moan. When he finally got all of Phil’s cock inside him Phil stopped with the praises and instead bit all over Dan’s neck again. The love bites from earlier were already starting to fade since they were nothing more than a little nip, but Phil was determined to leave a mark this time. He sucked and pulled at the skin with his teeth, pulling away only a couple times to kiss over the freshly bruised skin. When he was done leaving a bright red mark Dan was panting and pleading him to let him move.
Of course Phil immediately told him to go whenever he was ready so Dan began bouncing up and down. Even though Phil knew Dan was a virgin he guessed by all of the sex toys that Dan was used to having something up his ass.
“Please Phil, its not enough, I need you to fuck up into me~”
Phil listened and started to thrust up at the same time that Dan was coming down. He knew he found Dans prostate because Dan gasped and went even faster at the same angle.
“God baby you look so good, fucking yourself so good. Can’t wait to see your pretty face when you cum.”
These little comments only seemed to spur Dan on more, but soon it was too much and he was completely wrecked. He lifted himself up off of Phils cock and laid next to him.
“Phiw- is too much- need you to fuck me, m’ legs are too tired…”
“Of course they are you lazy oaf,” after his remark Phil got right to it. He slid his cock right back into Dan and started to thrust back and forth. He could see Dan getting needier by the second, begging for more and blushing and gasping. Phil was entirely blissed out by all of the sounds Dan was making and by how good it felt.
“Do you think you can cum untouched baby?” Dan nodded fiercely and moaned at the though of it. He reached behind Phil and pulled him down closer by his neck.
“Fuck- Phil I’m getting close-”
“You look so good baby, I bet you’ll look stunning when you cum. Begging for more, youll look so perfect.” Dan moaned at his words and started to grind back against Phil movements. Phil found Dans prostate again and pounded into it relentlessly, still letting little praises come out. “Such a good boy. Take me so well. You feel so good.”
Dan writhed on the sheets beneath Phil and clenched his sheets tight with both fists. “I need you Phil- need to kiss you.” Phil obliged and leaned down to kiss the needy boy beneath him while keeping the same speed.
“Are you going to come baby boy?”
Dan groaned and released as a response. He felt as if he was floating for a second. His vision got blurry as he released white streaks all over him and his best friend. When Phil saw the completely blissed out face of Dan he locked eyes with him and released inside the condom.
As Phil pulled out Dan found himself feeling empty. Even though some of his toys were huge, none of them felt that good. Phil reached over to Dan’s bedside table and grabbed some tissues that were obviously there for this reason.
“No- no talking now please. Jus’ some cuddles please?” Dan looked up with a pleading, almost innocent look and Phil just couldnt resist. He threw out the tissues and the condom and laid next to Dan. Dan instantly wrapped his legs around Phil’s waist and arms around his neck and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. “Night cutie, we’ll talk in the morning over some pancakes and tea okay?”
hi lovelies!! okay….i told myself i wouldn’t do another one of these, yet here i am! i hit a little over 1k followers a while back, and i’ve also gained a lot of new mutuals since my last ff…so this one is a bit different from my first! this one is kind of a shoutout/apprection ff for all my mutuals. i love y’all so much!! (also, thank you so much to @jiminsrightbicep for my cute header!!! i really love it🤧)
anon asked: Hi! Can you do a reaction of the boys when you’re younger than them, but you’re super smart and even philosophical?? Something similar to Namjoon personality when he’s on a “Deep conversation” way maybe?Hope you’ll understand and thank you!!!
note: i try to keep these gender neutral so if i use a specific pronoun, just tell me and i can change it! :)
yoongi: even though the two of you would talk every day, you would tend to leave work and things like that out of it, leaving the time that you had to just talk to each other about yourselves, so he’d never really get the chance to really know how smart you are. i feel like one day, when the both of you had time off, he’d glance at some coursework you’d done, and just wonder why you had never brought up something that you should be so proud of.
“hey, i know we don’t usually talk about work, but i just wanna know- do you find this stuff easy? cause it looks damn complicated, and that’s impressive.”
hoseok: but i’m just imagining a really close-knit, sibling type of friendship where you’re just the epitome of what it means to be best friends and he can just sit there and listen to you talk about any work that you had because he finds it all fascinating, and whenever you get recognition for it, he’d always be there, the extra human being that he is, “that’s my best friend! they did that!” and he’d just be all adorable and proud.
namjoon: it’s no secret that namjoon is incredibly smart, so I feel like the two of you would just sit for hours on end, talking about the universe in ways that no one else had, questions and answers flying back and forth. he wouldn’t so much take your age into consideration when talking to you, because i feel like as long as the two of you are talking and making good conversation, he didn’t care if there were a few years in it.
seokjin: he’d be there, listening to you talk about school or work, and i feel like he’d tease you a little for being younger. just little words every now and then, like “wow, who knew such big words could come from someone so small!” but then he’d justify it minutes later, saying things like, “nah, come on. you know how proud i am of everything you do and how clever you are, don’t you?”
jungkook: “hit me with your best.”
"where does anything come from? where did the world come from? what was there to start with and why? why does energy exist in the first place and where did it come from if it can’t be destroyed or created? has it always just been there, and-“
"slow down, tiger. you say anymore, and we’ll probably both be on the verge of an existential crisis before it’s even 11 am.”
jimin: would love your way with words, the way that you always saw another angle to everything and the way that you explained it would just seem fascinating. he’d love to just sit there on the sofa, the two of you under a blanket, with conversations starting when the sky was a bright cyan and ending when they faded to black and all the daylight was gone.
“you know, i’d never thought about it like that…that’s… wow.”
taehyung: he’d always seen you as this smaller, younger person that he’d have to protect and always watch over, but seeing you at work, in your element, explaining all these complicated things to the people around you while they stood there patiently nodding their heads in a sign of synchronised understanding, he realised that really, you weren’t as young as he’d always seen you to be at all.
“little ___ , you’re not so little anymore, huh?”
i ran out of ideas so jungkook’s is literally just a conversation i was having with my friend oops im sorry its so bad lol i just yeah these got progressively worse as they went along i apolgise anyway, i hope that was okay, anon :)
here’s my masterlist, just in case you liked this, and moodboard requests are open cause i just really like making those and it makes me feel like i’m doing something productive when i have writers block :)) also ships are open, if you want one!
Zelda was to go into Gerudo Town alone and meet with Riju on some personal matters and meet Link in the tent right outside the town walls so she could give him the peace of mind that she was safe. She had taken longer than expected, and hadn’t been able to get to Link in hours. ‘Poor Link’ she thought ‘I hope he isn’t freaking out’. She stepped out of Riju’s palace and saw something that almost made her choke with laughter.
Zelda was staring at a “vai” that sure looked like Link. She stifled a laugh, and strode up to the “woman” who was trying their best to look inconspicuous near the town square.
“Well hello there! I don’t think I’ve met you” her voice mischievous and eyebrows raised “I love your outfit. Might I ask where you got it?” Link froze up, he’d been discovered by his princess but no one else was the wiser, and he wasn’t about to be kicked out. He decided that two could play this game and answered in a weirdly high pitched voice “I got it in Kara Kara Bazaar.”
Zelda nearly lost it when she heard Link speak, oh how dedicated he was to the act! Both of them were hyper aware of the surrounding Gerudo and women in the market square, and Zelda quickly took Link’s hand and ran toward a secluded spot.
“What in HYLIAS NAME are you WEARING Link?” she whispered loudly.
“What you’ve never seen this garb before? I thought this was normal for girls to wear” his voice full of laughter.
Zelda shook her head and smiled. Her knight really did not know any bounds when it came to safety.
“Well” she said “I’m going to hit the market before we leave, will you accompany me miss knight?”
“Just don’t make me talk okay the voice is embarrassing.”
They walked around Gerudo Town and bought supplies for home and future trips, and Link impulse bought all of the arrows that were available.
Safe to say this trip to Gerudo Town was one of their best, and most definitely not their last.
gif reaction pls~ I love your account by the way it's creative and you should write one shots or something I think it would be really successful! anywho how would the members react to you wanting to be the dominant one in bed tonight?
Aw, thank you! It means a lot to hear that. As for oneshots, Admin S and I were considering that so we’ll see how that goes! Sorry for the awfully late reply!
/is totally down for it and excited to see what you have planned/
/giddily but flustered/
/isn’t sure he’s ready for being teased all night/
/completely thrown off/
“What? Tonight? As in tonight, tonight?”
“Oh, I see what this is now. This is because of last time, isn’t it?”
Please don’t repost it and please ask me if you want to use my translation in any way. Thank you!
Re: Today we’ll have an one hour special for our last show!
(everyone’s started talking- chaos xD)
It was Kais turn to read the first letter,but there it was written, that the fan would like Ruki to read it, so he handid it straight to him
Re: do you remember the time we announced our first Budoukan live? In Aoi-sans room- do you remember it?? The movie we released for the announcement? everyone went all woaaaa!
U: As we finished the movie?
K: nono that was for (Tokyo) Dome
U: ah this is difficult
A: so first we..
Re: yeah until the announcement of the venue, pompompom (various information popping up I guess) then the venue
Re: next one is Uruha! (to read)
K: ah this one is a little long lol ahh Giving Uruha the long ones is no good lool
U: wah really … well whatever (reading) I wanted to give Uruha-san Valentine Chocolate Oh reaaally?
he trying so hard to read the letter carefully but stil stutters a few times.
Everyone’s started laughing after he finally finished and said something like: you did your best right?
Re: So we heard heavens voice, who told us to not read any mail, but to have a free talk. So what should we talk about?
Ru: if you ask like that there’s just one, right? What did you eat today?
Re: just that?!
all at once: ah this annoying really? amazing!
Re: But how is it…. everyone with the radio
K: are you listening to it? In real time?
Ru: I listened to it!
Re: I heard it often
K: like (smth I didn’t understand)
Ru: but you know, the fans stayed up util 2 right? If I think about the fans who have a feeling of loss I get excieted
Re: ehhh? Like: ah we can finally sleep?
Ru: ahhahaha no I didn’t need it
Re: okay so what was your most interesting talk you had in this show? Something like: that was interesting!
A: there was no right?
Re: stop it! lol
A: you know in the beginning, as Uruha and I had our recording
Ru: in Mexico
A: yeah! That was interesting! We drank alcohol during the radio
U: Ah that felt good right! But at that time I really wanted to do the radio in a studio. If you always do it in a studio you think it would be nice doing it outside,
Re: in the beginning we just had 3 songs right? But for the radio station this is bad right?
Ru: they even decreased slowly right?
K: Isn’t it ok if we don’t play songs? We don’t need songs!
Ru: did someone here visit Fujikyuu?
Re: sorry, sadly not!
Ru: who did?
all: (liveless) haaaai
Ru: eh no?
lol Seems Kais graduation fest was at fujikyu.- so they said he couldn’t go right? (because he didn’t actually graduate)
the fans was just talking about Kai and Uruha for her song request so Ruki (?) was complaining: what about us?????
they were talking about spoilers- they all watch foreign (western) drama, but they’re different in how fast they proceed- so I think Ru or Re were talking to Uruha about 24 season 2- but what they told didn’t happen at all (bc they watched it a long time ago and it probably was in another season)
Re:There are members who talk and talk about the dramas right? especially Kai
Ru: (really fast) it’s you! it’s def you!
K: lol it’s def you!
Re: It DEFENITLEY not me!
K: it IS you lol
Ru: and you…you know tell lies!
Re: huh? what are you talking about?
Ru: (he’s speaking about a drama where reita said something that didn’t happen)
Re: you… this was years ago!
Ru: but you know! it sounded interesting so I wanted to watch it- but it didn’t happen like that…
Re: are you watching dramas? foreign ones or whatever?
U: humm Walking Dead became lame lately right?
Ru: good then! just (I didn’t understand maybe another drama?)
U: yeah…right…. I defenetly won’t watch it
Ru: While we had recordings I watched it for 1 hour or so but it felt awfull watching it
Re:Ah let’s talk about that! you know at Uruhas place…
Re: At Uruhas place we all did Playstation VR right? How was it?
Kai & Ruki: Amazing
U: Amazing I guess?
Re:no really it was really amazing!
Ru:Reitas reaction was disgusting right?
U:it really was! You know, the free download of Kitchen? From the very beginning he was like: woaaa ohhhh woaaa (imitating him)
Ru:(talking about some scene there) and Reita was like HAAAA haAAAAA?
Re: but Aoi was the worst with it right? he took it off right after the start!
A: impossible…just impossible
Ru: Rei-chan sweat like crazy right?
Re: oi you too!!!
Re: being in a band for 15 years, I thought about giving one thing that was really difficult
Ru: today is pretty difficult right? lol
Ru: why is that that with 2 it just flows naturally but with all 5 of us…such a..expectant feeling?
Ambitions for the GazettE:
A: Today Rajigaze will end,
A: but without letting the bond between us five end
K: stop it!
A: I want to continue, so I’m in your favor!!
U: The thing I want to say are slowly forgotten and are to be forgotten!
Re: are you okay?!
U:I want to live every moment to the fullist, so please look forward to my future self!
Ru:they will peep that in the public airing you know
U: please let me use this!
Kai: Okay, so 2017 will be a revision of the beginning we want too push on a next level. So I’m in your favor for our 15th year.
Ru: Well 10th of Mrch just ended and well, we’re doing a revision again… well there are many songs we didn’t do for quite some time, so we want to do them in a new way once again, and remember our whole self (as a band) again.That’s my impresion of our future
Re: Did you guys listen to my question???? I asked what you’re striving for!
U: woa, the leader changed!
U: I’m surprised!
Re: I’m surprised… such low quality…
K: do it again with what were striving for!
*lamp goes on*
Re: okay last song request. Who likes this song?
K: ah I like it I guess.
Re: so who should read it
K:ah this one we won’t read! Because it’s our last song
Re: oh I see!
K: yeah it’s not a request
Re: so … what are you thinking about this song?
K: ahh! It was a request sorry! *burst out laughing*
U: this is awfull
Every members impression about rajigaze during this one year:
Uruha: Everyone, Im rarely doing MCs and I’m kind of clumsy with them, but my tongue is just like this. if there is another chance I would like to do it again, so if that time comes- I’ll be in your favor.
Aoi: Thank you for letting a novice like me do the radio every week. We’re forever the Gazette.
Re: In these 5 years..eh no I failed-
all: loool ehhh??
Re: For one year the 5 of us were just making a lot of noise, were just reading the mails everyone send us, were doing a radio where we completely relied on others, even if 2am was such a late time, I’m just really gratefull that you listened to us and send us so many mails. I’m gonna repay you at lives!
Ru: through this radio we were able to comunicate with everyone weren’t we? It was possible bc of this radio. Also we were able to not just play the Gazette’s songs, but also other artists songs. I really would like to do it again. For now there won’t be chances to talk anymore, but please come and hang out with us at lives!
K: We were able to show you a side of us we can’t show on stage. Well I do think that this radio was great, but I’m really gratefull for the fans we encountered because of this radio. So if there’s anther chance I would like to do the radio again. Thank you very much.
Re: so we’re thinking about another way how we can meet, but until then- let’s fnish this show with 1,2 this was Gazette -we rock!
uff I worked especially hard today! it took me hours I guess lol and it’s a lot longer- I hope you don’t mind o:D
I want to thank all of you! I had so much fun with the radio, with the translation and with your reactions.
I met a lot of people bc of this show. It was a great year.Thank you!
One of the things I really like about Garrus is that he’s a 7 foot tall terrifying and ruthless bird person who carries around a huge gun and will murder you if you step out of line ….
….and his go-to expletive is ‘crap’.
I mean yeah he says ‘damn’ sometimes for emphasis but he opens an elevator and comes face to face with a BOMB and just goes “Oh crap!!” like he’s 12
One time a husk manages to sneak up on him and he freaks out for a second and blurts out “whaT THE FUCK!?” and everyone just whirls around and stares in shock because did he just swear??? and they all kind of laugh and comment like ‘wow I didn’t know you had it in you!’
Garrus is horrified he might have offended someone and apologizes non-stop for like 45 minutes
(before I start I wanna grab the attention of my friends who I most definitely effected @zerosden@bigbarabadguy etc just to name a few)
Okay guys today this topic is going to get very,very serious..has any of you have moments when you turn on your friends feeling attack from the little of things?,felt lonely and abandoned?,even fought to never ever be alone when in reality it didn’t exist? Do you guys know that feeling?
You know when you couldn’t explain why you did those things but you did them?,or why you felt extreme guilt and a monster for yelling or in some words “snapped”?
Well I know why I did them,for the longest of time I never knew why I did what I did to my friends…I hurt their feelings by saying things I didn’t mean,and push them away making myself sound lower as a friend. And in the end I never actually knew why I did them. Why I fought to push and why I felt like I was alone or why I felt like they were out to hurt me when in reality those feelings didn’t need to exist…it was all in my head,like voices that get louder and louder everytime.
I found out from my family and doctor’s that I have a form BPD…,what’s that some may ask it’s called “Borderline Personality Disorder” it’s alot to explain but let me tell you some things that people with BPD do or have.
Feelings of isolation, boredom and emptiness
Difficulty feeling empathy for others
A history of unstable relationships that can change drastically from intense love and idealization to intense hate
A persistent fear of abandonment and rejection, including extreme emotional reactions to real and even perceived abandonment
Intense, highly changeable moods that can last for several days or for just a few hours
Strong feelings of anxiety, worry and depression
Impulsive, risky, self-destructive and dangerous behaviors, including reckless driving, drug or alcohol abuse and having unsafe sex
Now me growing up I thought it was just depression,no…it was something far more than just that.
I Jordan or Jjparty whatever you guys wanna call me,have BPD and I want all my friends to know that whatever I did and said that hurt you guys very very much I deeply apologize and I wish for a another chance of redemption to show my love for you guys. But my friends and my followers I need you guys help, I can’t fight this disorder of mine alone I need many of you guys arms to fight this because this is hard for me,yes I’m glad I found out whats going on with me,but I broke down in tears the other day that it took me this long to figure it out,after I left alot of people broken. Alot of people and friends even family have been hurt by my actions that I knew nothing behind the reason why I did or said things.
@zerosden I am truly sorry I pushed you away and believed in things that didn’t exist..and tried to run away when all I needed to do was stay around you to feel better you forever are my Red guy and I hope I can be forgiven
@bigbarabadguy ,and most of all I am sorry to you…I said and pushed you away for too long and now I really damaged you internally and I can never forgive myself for how much I hurt you,but you stay strong for me each time and I wish for you to once more to fight with me as my best friend. Only if you want to of course…
But now…now that I know what is really going on I’m going to seek the best help I can,but I need you guys to be here by my side (including my followers) in this new discovery in my life so that I can grow and learn more about my BPD but also so I can fight it.
This message is my sorry and my hope of forgiveness,I know we aren’t perfect beings but deep down you guys are perfect to me and you guys made me feel perfect to be myself. I know many won’t forgive me and I’d understand fully if they don’t but as much as I need my people it would be NOW…
I am only one person, fighting but I can’t fight this battle alone…I say things I don’t mean and I do things I don’t want to do but it’s only because my BPD makes me see these things that don’t exist and act on them…
Please forgive me for all the damage I’ve done I can’t go back to prevent them but I can prevent the future of them and rewrite a new story with you guys but it takes strength and togetherness and also…
I am Jordan and I have BPD
Please stand by me and allow me this final chance to fix what I broke and heal what I damaged.
If you wanna be tagged for the series, just let me know! :)
That night Rick woke you up shaking you hard. “Y/N. You need to get out of here. Negan and his men have got here.” He said sternly, passing you your gun and your backpack.
“Okay okay. Shit. I’m sorry Rick. I’ll go out the back.” You said.
Once you were out of Alexandria you ran for your life. As far away from home as possible. As far as your legs could carry you. They couldn’t track you because you ran through a field and didn’t leave any footprints. You had run for about a mile when you came to an old church. You went inside and everything was quiet.
You walked up to the altar and looked up at the stained glass windows. The windows were partly covered in moss, but you could still make out Jesus above the world which was full of animals and people and peace.
“Pfft.” You said folding your arms. What a load of rubbish. You admired people who still believed in God. You liked to think God existed, but when the world turned this way, you stopped believing in a lot of things. Gabriel was one of those who you admired. But even if God had planned this, you lost faith in any kind of religion if God let the world turn this way.
Walking to one of the benches you sat down. “God. If you’re out there, please take this away. Please. There are good people out here who don’t deserve to suffer. I used to believe you existed. Part of me still does and that part of me hates you for if. The other part of me has given up hoping for a change. So, for the small fraction of me, that still believes in you. Please, just- just do something.” You sighed, knowing that you were probably just talking to yourself.
“I wouldn’t bother sweetheart.” You froze. That voice. “I mean, he’s just a figment of your imagination. Do you really think he’d exist? I mean if he did look what he did to the place!” An arm went around your shoulder and you flinched.
“It’s only me.” You turned and saw Simon sitting beside you. “Negan is not happy with you. I’ll warn you now. So, either you come quietly, or your punishment will be even worse. What d'ya say?” He asked nudging you.
As he did that you stood up instantly, taking your gun out and aiming it at Simon. Simon threw his hands in the air and stood up. “Now, now. Let’s not be too hasty.” Simon said smiling at you. You backed away towards the back exit of the church beside the altar. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He said, his face suddenly dropping and you took that moment to run out of the door.
You ran fast, looking back to see if Simon was coming after you, but you bumped into something. Stepping back, you looked up and saw Negan. You felt numb and Negan smiled at you. The kind of smile that was sarcastic as hell and you knew deep down he was about to explode with rage.
“Get her in the truck.” He said, scowling at you.
You felt yourself being grabbed by two men and you struggled against them, but it led you to no avail. They threw you into the truck and slammed the doors shut.
How the hell did they find you?
You arrived with a halt and you braced yourself. The doors opened wide and the light blinded you for a few seconds. One man started to approach you but you heard Negan’s voice as he said, “No, I’ll handle this.” Negan climbed into the truck and knelt down before you, Lucille resting over his shoulder. “You made a mistake. Now, I don’t know where you were running to but we always find you. I always find you. Let’s go.” He said, grabbing your arm and dragging you out of the truck, causing you to follow him closely behind.
He led you up into your room he had let you stay in (much like the room Eugene is staying in, in the actual TV show) and shut the door with a slam. The room was silent. It was just you and him. You sat on the bed, handing in your lap and your head watching the floor. You’ve never wanted to look at the floor more in your life. Anything is better than meeting eyes with Negan right now.
Negan crouched in front of you, but you avoided eye contact. He brought his hand up to your chin, pushing your head up so you looked at him. Letting go he then clicked his tongue, slighting smirking before his face dropped to a more serious expression.
“Where were you going,” Negan asked, a thick and menacing tone dripping with every word he spoke. “I don’t know. Anywhere but here.” You said, annoyed that you got caught.
“Oh really? Something tells me you were heading home, but you thought you’d talk to God and blame him for this shithole world before making your stop.” Negan said, his voice hinting sarcasm. “So? I can do what I want.” You argued, getting a rise out of Negan. He stood up and used Lucille to push your chin up so you looked him in the eyes. He bent towards you and stared you down.
“Not. Under. My. Roof. Here you do what I say, and I did not say you should run away and go and talk to the lord almighty now, did I? No. I told you to make yourself at home, and if you can’t be grateful for what I have given you, well, I guess we’ll just have to see how you do in the smaller, empty, cells.“
You turned away from him slightly as he let Lucille down and you scowled at him. “One last chance, princess.” He said, smirking slightly. “Will you marry me?” He asked. Your heart started beating faster than it should and you swallowed before saying, “Why do you keep asking me?”
Negan didn’t answer that and instead, he raised his eyebrow. “I know you want me, doll’. I mean, I can sense how crazy I drive you just from seeing the craving in your eyes sometimes.”
“What? No. That’s not anything- I don’t have that.” You insisted, suddenly getting up and moving away from Negan, making sure your face was hidden. You had become embarrassed because you knew he was right, but you were an idiot if you thought sleeping with Negan was okay because it was most certainly not okay in the slightest. “Are you sure?” You felt Negan’s presence grow closer and closer and you shivered as you felt he was behind you. “See? It gives you chills just thinking about me.” He murmured and you felt like your heart was in your throat and everything else was numb. You bit your lip moving away from him once again but he followed you still, making sure he was as close as possible to you without physically touching you. “Negan. Leave me alone.” You said erratically, your voice trembling, proving Negan was right in what he was saying.
“You don’t want that. If I leave this room right now, you’ll be going to that cell, alone and you’ll wish that you hadn’t asked me to go.” He whispered and you flinched feeling his hands make their way around your waist. Surely you would’ve expected Negan to be madder at you. You grabbed his hands in an attempt to move them away but when you felt his lips on your neck you found yourself feeling weaker and weaker, only to begin to let Negan have his way with you. “Please, don’t. Negan.” You whimpered, knowing how bothered you were getting.
Immediately Negan’s touch left your body. You sighed. “Don’t worry, princess. You can stay here, but if you try running off again, I really won’t hold back on punishing you in the worst way possible.” With that, he left the room shutting the door and you had to sit down on the couch.
No more getting on his bad side. You figured you’d try getting on his good side, in order to help the others if they tried to come and find you.
this is nnatto: the promised jj ask lol. (i fell asleep before I could think of one last night) no obligation to do it if you don't want. but anyway, #15 w jj as the sick person. you can have anyone you want as person #2. it does say SO so if you wanna draw isabella, rock, but it could be fun to have it be someone else too.