“Wait, where the hell are you going?!” You continued to storm down to the carpark as fast as you could once you heard Harry’s voice from behind you.
“Home.” You mumbled, pulling your keys out to your car as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t understand.. what could Kendall give Harry that you couldn’t? You’d been trying your best to capture his attention for so long, but all Kendall had to do was strut down the catwalk in some lingerie and Harry was putty in her hands in less than a second.
“Why are you mad? If you didn’t want to come, I could have jus’ gone myself, love.”
“It’s not about this stupid show!” You snapped, tossing your bag in the car before letting out a huff of frustration. “It’s about.. about.. Kendall, okay?”
“Kendall? Why are you mad at Kendall? Do you not like her?”
“I’m not mad at Kendall, I’m just.. y’know, I’m sure she’s a nice person n’ all, and it’s not that I don’t like her – I don’t like her.. with you.” You stammered, scratching the back of your head.
“Are you for real?” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed as he crossed his arms, shaking his head. “Why is it that every girl I’m seen with, you don’t approve of? You’re even pickier than my mother, Y/N! You didn’t like Emily, you didn’t like Georgia – in fact, the only person you liked was Taylor!”
“Taylor was genuinely a nice person!”
“I can’t believe you, Jesus Christ!” Harry let out a heartless laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Are you fuckin’ jealous?”
“I’m not jeal-”
“We’re not kids anymore, Y/N! When are you going to let me be happy?! When are you finally going to relax about me being with another girl?”
“I do want you to be happy, but I think you should settle for-”
“I don’t care what you think! It’s my life, I make my own choices – I’m older than you, for Gods sake!” You were speechless at this point. You couldn’t just blurt out that you’d been crushing on Harry since forever, it was a bad time. Harry didn’t usually get mad, but when he did, he would get really, really mad.
“I know! I know, Harry!”
“You know? I don’t think you do! When are you going to get it through your thick skull that you’re not the only girl in my life? I’m allowed to spend time with other girls, but I don’t think you know that! Every time I do, you freak out and get all pissy!” That was really only because Harry would completely ignore you and pretend like you didn’t exist – that shit hurts.
“Look, I’m sorry, alright? Can we just go home and-”
“Go home?! You stormed out of a Victoria’s Secret show, not me. But if you wanna leave, be my guest. Don’t even bother callin’ or textin’ to check up on me, because I’m probably going to be – and god forbid – hanging out with a bunch of Victoria Secret models after the show.” Harry growled, your vision beginning to blur. You had never seen Harry act this way before, and it was kind of scaring you. “Jesus, Y/N. Grow the fuck up, will you?”
okay listen, Harry and Kendall are best friends. Whenever they’re in the same city, they always go out and shop together and give each other fashion advice, and I bet that they have chats whilst drinking expensively good wine and give one another dating advice as well, because what’s more fun than Harry making fun of the way Kendall gets flustered around pretty girls, and Kendall retaliating by reminding him that he’s the most obvious, and “That guy at the supermarket totally saw you checking him out.” I bet that they have a best friend bucket list, and Harry made sure that “Go to a gay bar” was on there, because Kendall had never actually been to one before, and he wanted to be there for her introduction to the lesbian night scene, because they love each other and care for each other. And I bet that it was far down on the list, but Harry was like “Going in order is overrated, right?”
People were everywhere and buzzing. They all had come out of their houses at 11 pm, filled the neighbourhood streets and their own front yards, ready for the firework work and she countdown they always have together as a neighbourhood for the last minutes of the year.
Niall wasn’t outside. Niall was inside, watching it through the window. His whole body felt like he needed a 120 year nap to recharge. His mind was a haze, a blurry place where all thoughts had mashed up into one emotional and problematic ball.
“Baby, i swear it’s nothing okay? Kendall and I are best friends… We’re just-”
Niall hung up after that. Best friends. They all start at “best friends”. Him and Harry were best friends first. Band mates even, who’s to say him and Kendall aren’t going to be the same.
“God dammit, Harry” Niall mumbled to himself, even his name stung to be spoken on his tongue.
He leaned his head onto the cold glass as he watched his family at the front yard, chatting up the neighbours and exchanging drinks.
“Niall, hun” Niall turned around. His Ma gave him a small, understanding smile. Of course.
Of course his Ma would understand. His Ma probably already saw the pics on the internet, Greg probably showed her.
She didnt say anything else after Niall turned around, just pulled her son into her arms and that did it for Niall, he was crumbling. Something about a mother’s comfort probably that made his tears fall down freely and his sobs being muffled by his mom’s shoulder.
It was all too much honestly as his ma tightened her hold on her son.
“Shhhh, let it go sweetie” She murmured, rubbing soothing circles on his son’s back.
Niall was letting it go, letting everything go. He told himself countless times that he wasn’t the jealous type. That Harry and him weren’t exclusive so why would he assume that he had some claim on him?
No, Harry wasn’t his.
They were a fling, a thing that went on during tour and maybe a couple months after tour finished but that’s about it. No more Harry for the rest of the year.
And who knows? Maybe in 2017, they wouldn’t even picked up where they left off.
Maybe they wouldn’t even touch each other. Just the thought of not being near Harry ached his heart and Niall knew he was done for. There’s no going back now that he’s come clean with himself about how he feels about his own best mate and his band mate.
“I love him, ma” Niall sobbed just as the people outside cheered at the fireworks that went on display.
“I know, sweetie. I know” his Ma murmured, still trying to calm him down as she watched the fireworks outside from the window.
It was two days after New Year’s and Niall was supposed to be at the airport by now. He wanted to go somewhere to clear his mind, and he needed to get away.
He had avoided all forms of social media and texts and calls from Harry.
‘He was with Kendall now, let him be happy’ he told himself last night although it hurt to even think about them.
The pictures were still burned at the back of his mind, displaying it for free every time he closed his eyes.
He called up Selena, asked where she was and he booked a plane ticket. He had told Selena about Harry the first time they hung out, he made sure not to say it was Harry but whenever Harry was brought up, she would give Niall this knowing look that made him blush to the tip of his ears.
“Niall sweetie, come down for breakfast!” His Ma called out from downstairs, probably leaning on the stairwell so he would hear.
“Yeah, Ma!” He shouted back and sensed a bit of a nostalgia here. 16 year old him saying the same thing to his Ma and he smiled to himself as he got himself dressed.
Niall came down the stairs and was determined to make up for last night and play with his nephew for a few hours before leaving, he could always reschedule a new flight.
That was his plan when he came down, to go to straight to the living room to play with Theo but who he saw there made him stop at the entrance.
He was frozen when he saw Harry sitting on the couch, Theo on his lap as he played with him.
Niall gritted his teeth, hands clenched into fists.
“What are you doing here” Niall asked, his voice emotionless and cold.
It made Harry look up in shock, surprise taking over at Niall’s cold voice. Niall’s voice only went cold when he was really mad or really hurt and Harry just realised he had probably caused both for him.
He set Theo down on his play mat before standing up to advance towards Niall but he stepped back, not wanting to be near him right now.
“No. What are you doing here? You know what, i don’t even want to know. Please leave” Niall let out a humourless laugh, turning around to go to the kitchen and asked who let him in.
“Niall, wait” Harry had a hold on his arm and Niall pulled out of his grasp, giving Harry a glare.
“Don’t touch me!”
Harry flinched and Niall tried to quench down the guilt that took over him. He deserves it, Niall.
But why? Why did he deserve it?
It’s not like you guys were official?
It’s not like he loves you back, Niall.
Those thoughts only made him more angry with himself and at Harry.
“Please go away, I can’t forget about you if you’re here. You don’t want me to be hung up over you, do you?” Niall knew the sadness in his voice would trigger Harry’s guilt so he left quickly up his room before Harry could grab him again.
He didn’t expect the bastard to follow him up as he took his luggage. Forget rescheduling the damn flight, he was going now so he wouldn’t see Harry.
Funny how this was the guy he couldn’t stay away from for years now. How this guy was the one he turned to for comfort or when he heard great news, where he found he his Ma was in the hospital and this was the guy that held him that night in the tour bus as he cried.
Funny how this was the guy that he craved touches from at night in hotel rooms, the guy that made him clench the clean and white hotel sheets from pure bliss and pleasure.
He heard the door close while he was lost in his thoughts and cursed himself for being so careless.
“Niall. You need to listen to me” Harry started pleadingly and Niall closed his eyes as he tried to control his breathing.
He didn’t want to shout at Harry with his parents in the house.
“I don’t want to, Harry. I need to get to my flight” I said, grabbing onto his suitcase.
“If you think i’m the kind of person that’s going to let you go before I explain myself that you clearly don’t know me that well, Ni” Harry said, his gaze burning into mine.
He was telling the truth. He wasn’t going to let Niall leave before he explained himself and he had no choice of he wanted to leave Harry’s presence before he started gross sobbing again.
“Fine” Niall said through gritted teeth.
He sighed in relief and Niall didn’t look at him as he started speaking.
“I was just hanging out with her. We’re friends Niall, surely you know that. Kendall ’s…. I’m not her type. And she’s not mine! She’s a great girl but I wouldn’t be fooling around with you if she was in the picture and if I had real feelings for her”
“Fooling around then, that’s what’s we were doing?” Niall asked him, ready for him to confirm it.
He opened his mouth to speak but Niall had cut him off before he could.
“Because it wasn’t for me, those nights we spent together led me to loving you Harry, with all of my heart, i love you. But honestly, if all we had to you was 'fooling around’ then i’m wasting time talking to you” Niall scoffed at the end, shaking his head as he passed by a frozen Harry, slamming the door behind him.
His family were all at the living room and Niall hugged them quickly before leaving. He heard Harry’s explanation and now he needed to leave. Quick.
His tears started to fall as he started his car, his hands fumbling to start the god damned engine. He should have just got an uber or something god dammit.
Again, he was too late when the passenger door opened and Harry slid inside, glaring at Niall for leaving him.
WHY DIDNT HE LOCK THE DOORS AGAIN?!
“Don’t look at me like that! You wanted me to wait for you to explain and I did, now get out of my car, Harry” Niall defended himself as the car started.
His hands were shaking and he willed himself to calm down because he had to drive. He didn’t want his name to be plastered over all the magazines because he got into an accident due to his stupid heartbreak.
“You don’t get it do you, Niall. God, you’re so dense!” Harry accused, making Niall’s blood boil.
“Oh, I’m dense? I’m the one who’s dense and oblivious to the fact that my best mate and band mate that I’ve been sleeping with is stupidly in love with me? That’s me now? ” Niall retorted.
“Yes! Niall, I wouldn’t sleep with you if I didn’t have feelings for you!”
“Well maybe your feelings weren’t enough because you gave half of them to Kendall last night! And maybe how many nights before that!”
They were having a screaming match in the car and he was glad he didn’t take an uber now because his windows were tinted
“I don’t have anything with Kendall, Niall! We’re completely platonic, please believe me on that. Please, you have too. I love you too Niall, I love you so much and i’m not just saying this because I want us to continue what we did back on tour. I want us to be more, I want us to acknowledge our feelings to each other, say it to each other worn or feeling frightened and telling other people because I’m just that happy that the guy that I fell in love with, loves me back”
Niall went slack, his hands stopped shaking as he stared back at Harry. Now that he was properly looking at him, he did look like quite a mess. Like he didn’t sleep in his flight on the way here and that just made his heart ache even more.
Was he telling the truth.
Harry didn’t wait for Niall to answer as he closed the space between them and grabbed Niall’s face in his hands. He slotted his lips with Niall’s, desperation and a silent plea oozing out of the kiss as tears fell down Niall’s cheeks, making them taste salt as they continued kissing.
Niall missed him, he couldn’t deny that. Missed how Harry’s lips felt on him, missed how Harry was holding him now.
Niall covered Harry’s hand with his own and then they pulled away for air, making Niall breathe out slowly.
Their hands were intertwined.
Niall stared at their joined hands.
“I love you, Ni. I love you so much. Please” Harry pleaded, squeezing his hand.
Niall knew he was done for. One kiss and he was in it for good, in this messy thing called love.
Even if Harry was lying, he couldn’t bear himself to stay mad at him anymore.
Maybe that’s what Love does. But Niall hoped Harry wasn’t lying as he pulled him into another kiss, this one had their tongues tangled with each other, had them pulling apart for air for 2 seconds before going back to kissing each other.
This one was filled with “i miss you’s” and “i love you’s” and Niall didn’t know what he would do if Harry was lying.
But he was going to enjoy it now, the comfort and love Harry was showering him with. He just hoped it would last.
a/n : not exactly a happy ending but yeah :) hoped you enjoyed it because i was close to tears hAH.