okay ikaw na

Ang hirap naman mag panggap na masaya ka. Na okay ka. Na wala kang galit o inis na kinikimkim. Na hindi mo makuha yung gusto mo. Pero wala eh! Minsan kailangan mo lang talaga ilugar yung pagpapanggap mo. Simple lang naman dahilan eh, ayaw mo lang ng gulo. Yung tipong okay na ikaw nalang mahirapan wag lang yung mga taong nasa paligid mo.

Dear Barang

First of all, happy birthday!

(pero seriously, isn’t this a bit weird? binabati natin ang isang fictional character sa kanilang fictional birthday? huh)

A funny thing, ito na ang ikalimang taon na sini-celebrate ko ang birthday mo. Actually sobrang random nga lang ng pagpili ko ng October 31. Nasa kalagitnaan na ako ng If I Fall nang maisip ko ang plot na pwedeng-pwede na makasakit sa ‘yo sa birthday mo. So.. Halloween Ball pa ba?

Kidding aside, happy birthday..

Para akong tanga. Bakit nga ba kita sinusulatan eh gawa-gawa lang naman kita sa utak ko? Naaalala ko pa nga yung una kong characterization sa 'yo: laging depressed, galit sa mundo etc. All the gloomy stuff. Tapos nalungkot ako, sino ba naman ang magkakagusto sa ganung ka-dark na protagonist? So ayun, pinalitan ko. Based ka tuloy sa 'kin.

Pinangako ko pa naman sa sarili ko na never kong gagawing character peg ang sarili ko. Hindi naman kasi ako ganung ka-interesting, sadyang madrama lang. Nakakatawa nga, parang kambal kita na hindi. Parang iisang tao lang talaga tayo. Of course, you own all of the cool stuff. Sa akin ang boring stuff. Sorry naman daw, wala akong Cyrus at Seth na naghahabol sa 'kin (nagkaroon naman ako ng Wes kaso ibang kwento na 'yon). Hindi rin malaki ang boobs ko at mas malala kang magmura. Kagaya ng ibang MCs ko, nilagay ko rin sa 'yo ang favorites ko. Ganun naman talaga ako gumawa ng character, dapat may kaunting part ako sa characteristics nila. Kaso iba yung sa 'yo, Barang. Parang 60% mo ata akong-ako.

We think alike. Parehas tayong pessimist, takot masaktan, takot magrisk. Ilang beses tayong nagtiwala at nabigo. May isang beses na akala natin siya na pero hindi pa pala. May isang beses din na tama na ang lahat pero tayo pa ang mali sa equation. Maraming beses na tayong sumuko pero triple dun ang mga panahong umahon tayo with matching palipad hair pa. Parehas tayong bobo sa Math, adik sa History at mahilig magsulat. Sa pagmumura naman binibigay ko na sa 'yo ang korona, baka kasi masira ang image ko, beh.

Pero mas matapang ka pa kesa sa 'kin.

Oo na, imagination lang kita na sana totoo na lang. Sa utak ko nanggagaling lahat ng inisip, iniisip at iisipin mo. I’m your creator yet you outshine me every single time. Sa 'yo ko kasi pinapagawa ang mga bagay na hindi ko kayang gawin sa totoong buhay. Hindi ko kayang piliin ang sarili ko, Barbs. Pero ikaw, kahit sobrang nasaktan ka, pinili mo pa rin ang sarili mo. Pinili mo maging masaya. Sabi ko kasi piliin mo eh. Joke lang! Kayang-kaya ko naman na hindi ka pasayahin, na mas pahirapan ka. Ang sama ko naman kung ganon, 'di ba? Malungkot na nga ako sa totoong buhay, pati ba naman ang fictional alter ego ko ganun din? Hindi pa naman ako ganung kabaliw!

Nahihirapan na akong isulat yung TMEUAS kasi natatakot ako. Hindi sa sasaktan kita ah, kasi alam mo na 'yon. Natatakot ako kasi.. mas nauuna kang tumanda sa 'kin eh. Sa If I Fall okay lang, magkawavelength pa tayo, kaya pa kitang masabayan. Dito kasi sa TMEUAS nagkaron ka ng sarili mong isip. Pinaglaban mo sa 'kin na dapat masaya ka sa dulo. Ayokong maiwan sa ere, Barang. Masyado ka nang mature sa TMEUAS. Natitigilan nga ako minsan kapag may nababasa akong comment na “Ang dami kong natutunan sa IIF/TMEUAS!”. Napapaisip nga ako kung meron din ba akong natutunan o matututunan. Minsan kasi wala akong tiwala sa mga salita ko eh. Type lang nang type. Buti pa ang readers may naiintindihan, ako kasi minsan, wala.

Siguro kapag nag-update na ako sa December mawawala na ang takot ko na mas mauna ka sa 'king magmature. Sa 'yo ko kasi pinapa-experience ang mga what if ng buhay ko. Mas okay kasi sa fiction, controlled ko lahat ng variables. Sorry kung naging lab rat kita ha? Magaling ka naman eh. Nananalo ka naman kahit nasasaktan ka. Magiging masaya ka rin naman sa dulo, ategirl. Ikaw pa ba?

Minsan nga gusto kong magpalit na lang tayo ng role: ako ang character at ikaw ang writer. Jusko, kapag sineryoso ko 'tong thought na 'to ia-admit ko na ang sarili ko sa mental. Pero seryoso, ano bang feeling na maging character ko? Terror ba o walang kwenta? If ever ba, kakayanin ko ang angst? Pero swerte mo teh, dalawa ang humahabol sa 'yo. Tangina mo rin ano? Hindi ka naman maganda! Bakit nga ba dalawa??

Goodluck sa 'ting dalawa, Barang. Salamat sa almost five years na pagsama mo sa 'kin sa kabaliwan ko. Salamat kasi mas naiintindihan ko na ngayon ang sarili ko dahil dyan sa mga kadramahan mo. Salamat kasi through you, feeling ko ang daming nakakaintindi sa 'kin. Di ba nga, tayo yung tipo ng babae na hindi magugustuhan ng mga lalaki. Akala ko ako (o tayo) lang 'yon, may iba pa pala. Salamat kasi nag-enjoy akong kilalanin ka. At hindi ako magsasawa.

Sasaya ka rin, Barbs. Pinangako ko sa 'yo yan. Kahit hindi ako maging masaya ngayon, basta ikaw okay na sa 'kin. Mas pinahirapan naman kita, 'di ba? Ihahanda ko na lang ang sarili ko para hindi ako mag-walling kapag iiwan mo na ako. Nakakastress, ayaw mo pa naman ng drama.

Pakyu forevermore,
Leng

Babysitting + XaNce

“Babay na kay mommy and daddy, Sari!” Chance guided the little girl on her arms to wave her hand. “Buhbye m-mama, dada!” Sari mumbled, opening and closing her little fingers, her big eyes glued to the red car in front of her. “Bye baby! Behave and be a good girl, okay? Ikaw na bahala Chanelle! Pagbalik ko at may sugat yan, ‘kuh! Kakalbuhin ko kayo ni Xavier.” Amanda, Chance’s bestfriend, repeated for the nth time. She and her husband Drew, were married for two years, thus Sari’s age. Three months ago they have decided to spend a few days vacation in Singapore, a place Amanda would never het tired of visiting. Chance volunteered to take care of her goddaughter which Xavier almost immediately agreed when his wife told her “training or rather test kung ready na talaga tayo” So here they were, outside of the Garcia’s residence, bidding farewell to their child. Sari has always been close to both Xavier and Chance. “Oo na kasiiii, alis na kayo. Shoooo! Xav and I got this!” Chanelle ushered for them to move, still holding the baby in her arms while standing beside her husband.

Okay na ako
  • Friend1: Uy, kamusta ka na?
  • Friend2: Eto, okay na. Ikaw ba?
  • Friend1: Talaga? Okay ka na?
  • Friend2: Oo.. Okay na ako.
  • Friend1: Sige, sabi mo eh.
  • *after few seconds, yumakap si Friend2 kay Friend1*
  • Friend1: Oh, akala ko ba okay ka na?
  • Friend2: Akala ko rin eh. Hindi pa pala..
#MedyoOA sa bagong taon.

Mga medyo OA na posibleng mangyari sa pagitan ng mga oras na 11:59pm(December 31, 2015) to 12:00am (January 01, 2016)

*Sa traffic
Grabe pre! Last year pa ako dito sa gitna ng kalsada. Uugatan na yata ako!

*Sa banyo
Nanay mo: Anak! Ang tagal mo d'yan sa loob ng banyo a, kelan ka ba lalabas? last year ka pa nand'yan a.

#Seenzoned
Ikaw: Hi!
Siya: (Seen 11:59 PM)
Ikaw: Uy! Last year mo pa ako sineen a. Chat ka naman please. Huhubles. Last year ko pa hinihintay ‘yung reply mo.

11:59pm
Ikaw: BhesZxt! Pautang!
12:00am
Siya: Uy! P'wede ko na ba mahingi bayad mo? Last year pa ‘yun a.

11:59pm
Ikaw: P'wede bang manligaw?
Siya: okay.
12:00am
Ikaw: Kelan mo ba ako sasagutin? Last year pa ako sayo nanliligaw a. Kung ayaw mo sabihin mo agad. Tagal tagal ko nang naghihintay sayo o.

*Nakipag break sa text
11:59pm
Siya: sorry, sana maging okay kana.
12:00am
Ikaw: Okay na ako! Kala mo di ako makakamove-on sayo! Kinginamo! Last year pa 'yun uy! Gago!


Haha Happy New Year!

The Lucky One 16

Chapter 16

“Elmo, you’ll have a meeting with Mr. Chen later.” Blaise, the editor-in-chief of the magazine I’m having a photoshoot with, said.

“Alright. Thanks, Blaise.” I said. She closed the door of my hotel room and I went back to watching tv.

I’ve been in Singapore for almost 3 months already. I was offered a big project here. An international movie and I couldn’t just reject the offer. It’s also a way of seeing my mom who lives in Singapore with her new family.

“Moe, why not stay at our house na lang? You’re Tito Robert wanted to see you and your little siblings.” mom said when she visited me the night after I arrived here.

“Nah. I’d rather stay here ma. Nakakahiya kay tito.” I said.

“If that’s what you want. Pero you can always visit us. Kahit one night lang after your work.”

“I’ll try ma. Maybe if I have no work.” I told her.

“Okay sige. I’d better go. Your little siblings are waiting for me already.” she said and kissed my cheek.

“Okay ma. I’ll see you guys soon.” I said.

I woke up from stupor when I heard my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Brader!!” I heard a familiar voice. My face lighten up as soon as I realized who it was.

“Gino boy!”

“Ano dude? San ka? Kita tayo.”

“You’re in Singapore?” I asked.

“De pare nasa China ako.” he said and we both laughed.

“Baliw ka pa din no?” I said.

“Haha. Loko lang. Ano nga? Nasan ka dude. Tara kita tayo. Dami mong kkwento tanga.” he said.

“Okay fine. I have no appointments til 4pm today. Kita na lang tayo sa Kith Cafe. Saan ka ba nakacheck-in?” I asked him.

“Sa Mandarin ako brad. Ikaw ba?”

“Sentosa ako eh.”

“Osige. Kitakits na lang.” he said. I hang up the phone and I prepared myself and went out of the hotel after.

I arrived at the coffee shop and saw Gino sitting at the al fresco. I walked towards him and removed my shades as I sat down.

“Ano brad?” I said. He looked at me and a smile formed on his lips.

“Elmo boy!” he said and ruffled my hair like I was his little brother.

“Aray! Hahaha. Musta na?” I asked.

“Ikaw ang kamusta na? Bigla kang nawala hinayupak ka.” he said as he sips from his coffee.

“Ts. Biglaang offer kasi dude. International movie eh. Papalagpasin ko pa ba?” I answered.

“Pero uso paalam brad. Mukha kaming shunga kaya na naghihintay sayo kapag Friday. Tas malalaman ko na lang na nakalipad ka na pala palabas ng Pinas. Langya ka din eno?”

“Tss. Paano mo naman nalaman?”

“Nagpunta ko sa condo mo and nakausap ko yung receptionist. Sabi niya wala ka na nga daw and that you flew here in Singapore. Oh.”

“Alam na ba nilang lahat?” I asked. Suddenly feeling guilty for not saying goodbye to them.

“They know alright.” he replied. I heaved a deep sigh as I imagined their faces. Nakakamiss din pala ang tropa. “Nasaktan siya dude.” he added. I lift my head to look at him and he has this worried look in his eyes.

“I-I have to do this. A-ayoko kasi na pagdudahan niya pa din ako eh. Dude, masakit kasi na mahal ko siya tapos di ko alam may kailangan pa pala akong patunayan sa kanya.” I said.

“Elmo, she never thought that you would react like that. Alam mo kung bakit close sila ni Enrique?”

“Because they like each other. Ano lang ba kami dude? Friends with benefits? No strings attached? Fuck buddies? Ang unang main—”

“Close sila because she’s helping Enrique with Julia. Yung bestfriend niya. Alam mo ba kung bakit nagkagusto si Enrique kay Julie? Because he saw Julia’s attitude in her na akala niya si Julie lang ang meron. He only realized that he loves Julia when Julie told him that she loves you and that Enrique is just a friend to her!”

“What?” Wait wait wait. Basted si Enrique? Teka this can’t be true. She told me that…

“Elmo bobo ka kasi eh. Inisip mo kasi na porket Enrique likes Julie, she would feel the same way about him too. And yung plano nilang pagselosin ka? That’s just the way Julie wanted to make sure that you do love her. And besides, yung mountain climbing na yun, kasama si Julia. Julie planned that Enrique would confess to Julia somewhere na tahimik na never pa nila napuntahan. And since Julie knew Mt. Banahaw, dun siya nagsuggest na magpunta yung dalawa. She even suggested na maglagay ng camp site sa tuktok para sa dalawa eh. And she wanted you to come kahit alam niyang takot ka. Masyado mo kasing pinapairal init ng ulo mo. Di mo man lang siya hintayin na mag-explain.”

“Paano pa ko makakabawi sa kanya? Baka nakalimutan na niya ko.” I said feeling guilty about what I did.

“Well, kung iniisip mo na nakamove on na siya baka nga nakamove on na siya by crying everyday, laging nasa bahay ni Maqui because she can’t seem to live a day without hearing your voice or seeing your face, na nag-aalala na sila Nana at yung mga bata sa kanya kasi di siya nagkakakain, na pati si Jana nag-aalala na kasi hindi siya madalas lumalabas ng office niya kapag nasa cafe siya, na pati customers niya worried sa kanya kasi di na siya energetic gaya ng dati, na si Enrique naubusan na ng advice kakaiyak niya, na lahat kami nawiwindang na dahil lagi lang siyang tulala then I guess, oo. Nakamove on na siyang kumag ka.” he told me.

Julie… I can’t seem to imagine her like that. Yung hindi gaya ng dati na sobrang masayahin. I missed her a lot. I missed her when she would laugh at even my corniest jokes, when she would act like my mom everytime I did something wrong but would act like my wife when I did something good, when she was the best in everything and she brings out the best in me, and I missed her because she loves me despite of how childish and crazy I am, because she makes everything special when it comes to me and because she stayed with me even if everyone else left.

“Gino boy…” I called Gino’s attention.

“What?”

“Kailan ka uuwi ng Pilipinas?” I asked him.

“I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. Bakit? May ipapadala ka ba? Ano?” he asked.

“I’m coming with you.”

*****

3 months. I don’t even know how I survived these past 3 months. Without him. Without Elmo.

“Jules, wag ka na emo please?” Maqui said. Here I am, staying at her house so that I can somehow have someone to talk to.

“Maqui di ko tanggap na he went away just so he could forget about me.”

“He didn’t okay? Umalis lang siya because he wants to be a better person para sayo.”

“3 months, Maqui. 3 months without even sending me a message. How sure are you na he’s just doing this to be better?” I asked.

“Julie, you can’t change overnight.” Maqui said. “Elmo needs time. He wants to be the perfect guy for you.” she said.

“I don’t want him to be the perfect guy, Maqui. I just want him to be here. You know that I loved him despite of all his flaws diba? Mahal ko siya kahit ano pa siya.” I said. Maqui didn’t say anything. She just hugged me because she knew that no words can comfort a broken heart.

*****

“Dude, seryoso ka? Sasama ka sa akin?” Gino asked me.

“Oo.”

“Paano trabaho mo kumag ka?” he asked.

“I will talk to them. Makikiusap ako na payagan ako umuwi even for a few days lang.” I said.

“Whatever you want bro.” he replied. I was panicking. I don’t know what to do first. Am I going to talk to Mr. Chen? Or I’ll get a ticket first? Or pack my things? It’s frustrating!

“Bro, wait for my call okay? Tatawagan kita para ikaw na bibili ng ticket ko once Mr. Chen allows me to go.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then we’ll find another way.” I told him.

After Gino and I met, I went to Mr. Chen’s office for the meeting.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Chen. You wanted to see me?” I said when I entered his office.

“Sit down Mr. Magalona.” I sat on the chair opposite his office desk and waited for him to start. “Mr. Magalona, we would be having a shoot at Marina Bay Sands tomorrow for your new magazine cover.”

What?! Tomorrow?! No! Sabi niya the other day we’ll shoot next week.

“Uhm. Mr. Chen, I thought we’ll start the shoot next week?” I asked politely. He creased his forehead and looked at his desk calendar.

“No. We moved it to tomorrow because the director of your movie told us that you’ll resume shooting next week. That’s why we had to re-schedule.” he said. “Problem with that?”

“Uhm… I need to go back to the Philippines.” I said.

“Why?”

“I— there’s just a problem and I have to get back.” I said.

“Can’t it wait til your vacation?” he asked. I couldn’t answer. Because I know that I would never win. “I think it can wait. Besides, you’ll finish your shoot after 2 weeks right? Then you can go back to the Philippines.”

“But—”

“Mr. Magalona, if you want to still have your career at the end of the day, then I think you know what you have to do.”

*****

“Jules, wanna come? Susunduin ko si Gino from the airport.” Maqui said.

“Uhm. Ikaw na lang Maq. I’ll stay here na lang sa bahay.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “Ayaw mo ba malaman if he and Elmo met?”

“Alam ko namang he’ll tell me once we had dinner tomorrow. So I’ll just wait.” I said. “Tsaka it’s been almost a month, Maq na di kayo nagkita ni Gino so I’ll give this night to you. Haha.”

“Tsk. Kaw talaga. Osige. Pero call me if you need me okay?”

“Yes, Kim Possible.”

“Tsk. Maka-joke ka nanaman diyan ha.”

“Ayaw mo?”

“Of course gusto ko. Atleast alam ko na medyo okay ka na.” she said.

“Haha. Yeah. Thanks to you guys.”

“Naks naman. Osige na. I have to go. Take care of yourself. Okay?”

“I will. Ingat ka, Maq.”

“Love you Jules.”

“Love you too.” And I hang up the phone.

I busied myself by listing the grocery items we need at home. Ngayon ko lang napansin that we’re out of stocks already.

“Ate?” I looked up and saw Joey standing a few feet from me with the Elmo stuffed toy in her hand.

“Yes baby?”

“Do you still miss kuya?” she asked. I smiled and she went for me and hugged me.

“You can have him.” she said and handed me the stuffed toy. “It’s from kuya diba? And they have the same name. Para you won’t miss him that much.” she said. I hugged Joey tight as tears started brimming from my eyes again.

“Don’t cry ate.” I heard her say and I nodded.

“Sorry baby. Osige na. Akyat ka na sa room mo and go to sleep.”

“Okay.” and she kissed my cheek before going upstairs.

I went to work the next morning. Jana greeted me and the other staffs and we all started the day’s work.

“Buti ma’am okay ka na.” Jana said.

“I have to, Jana. Tsaka naisip ko din kung magpapakadepress ako lalo baka di na ko balikan nun.”

“Hahaha. Ikaw pa ba ma’am? Eh mahal ka nun.” she said.

“Che!” I told her and continued mixing the batter.

The day went by so fast and before I knew it, we are closing the shop and I was on my way to Gino’s place for our barkada dinner.

“Julie!!!” they all yelled when I went in. We all gave each other a hug and started chitchatting.

“How’s Singapore brader?” Derrick asked.

“Maganda as usual.”

“Gino…” I called him.

“Yeah?”

“Uhm…” I couldn’t find the words but I know that he knows what I was about to ask. He smiled and nodded.

“Yeah we saw each other. Told him you missed him. Told him everything.”

“How was he?”

“He looks okay but sad at the same time. Miss ka na daw niya.” he said. A light of hope flickered in my eyes. He missed me.

“Really?”

“Yes. He wanted to come here with me pero his schedule was very hectic kaya yun. Wait.” he said and stood up and went to his room.

“See? I told you miss ka na nun.” Maqui whispered.

“Oo nga Jules. Miss na miss ka na ng kumag na yun.” Jmee said. I smiled and nodded at them. After a few minutes, Gino went out with a box in hand.

“Taray! May padala para kay Julie tapos sa atin waley?! Gravity naman talaga Magalona!” Sef complained.

“Bobo ka talaga. Girlfriend ka?” Diva asked sabay binatukan pa ito.

“No! But I’m his gayfriend.” he said and even rolled his eyes.

“Here Jules. He told me to give this to you.” Gino said as he gave me the box.

I felt excited and nervous at the same time. I don’t know if I should open it or not. I’m scared of what might be inside but I also want to find out.

“Gora na girl. Open it already! Baka may nasingit diyan na Victoria’s Secret for me.” Sef told me.

I lifted the lid of the box and my heart sank.

“Anong laman?” They all asked.

It was filled with our memorabilias. Everything that we shared and kept. Everything that has the best memories. Is he really breaking up with me?

 Usapang Love. Usapang Life.

Hello po mga ate’t kuya, Wala pa po akong gaanong karanasan pagdating sa pag-ibig pero may gusto lang po sana akong itanong sainyo…

Dumating na po ba kayo dun sa punto na sa sobrang galit mo, Sa sobrang inis mo, Sa sobrang tampo mo sakanya, Gusto mo na ring gumanti? Gusto mong ipakita at ipamuka sa kanya na katulad nya, May bago ka na rin kahit sa totoo lang, wala naman talaga at alam mo sa sarili mo na imposibleng magkaroon ka ulit ng bago kasi alam mo na hindi ganon kadali sayo yung palitan agad sya, Masyado pa kasing masakit at masyado ka pang totoo sa sarili mo. Napunta na ba kayo dun sa panahon na bigla bigla ka nalang mapapatanong sa sarili mo, “Damn, bat ganon? Anong meron? Anong nangyare? Ganon nalang ba talaga ako kabilis palitan? Ganon nalang ba talaga kadali sakanya gawin lahat ng yun? Eh bakit naman ako, ganito? Hirap na hirap.” Yung tipo na noong una, Akala mo ikaw tong magloloko na mauunahan syang makahanap ng iba pero hindi pala, sya yung mas mauuna, at eto pa, sobrang napaaga. Ang sakit lang no? Yung mga inakala mo, wala na ngang nasunod tapos yung kabaligtaran pa yung nangyari. Nakakatampo. Masakit… Nakakainis. Ayun na yata yung matatawag nating napaka-letsugas na sitwasyon pero Ika nga, Love isn’t a competition. Hindi porket nakamoveon na yung isang side at meron na syang bago, dapat ganon ka na rin. No, It’s not like that kasi pag ginawa mo yun, Mas magmumuka ka lang na t***a and That’s immaturity. Kung hindi pa talaga, Wag pilitin, Wag magkunwari… Respect yourself. Accept the truth na sya okay na pero ikaw hindi pa kasi alam mo? Onti nalang… Darating ka din sa puntong ganon. Darating ka din sa panahon na magiging okay ka na rin at pag dumating ka dun, Mas mahihigitan mo sya. Sa una lang yan ganyan, Yung ikaw yung sobrang mahihirapan at masasaktan pero pag dumating ka naman dun sa stage na okay na, Paniguradong mapapantayan mo rin sya o baka naman mas mahigitan mo pa, Ayun yung magiging lamang mo sakanya. Masakit sa una pero pag okay na, Mas magiging masaya ka, Mas magiging kampante. Mas makakatamo ka nung tinatawag nating peace of mind kaya ikaw, kung inaakala mong napag-iiwanan ka na, kung sa tingin mo, napakabagal ng usad mo pagdating sa usapang pagm-move on, Wag kang magreklamo baka naman kaya lang ganyan kasi tama yung daang tinatahak mo o yung mga prosesong ginagawa mo, Hindi ka shumoshortcut, Walang pandaraya sa sarili. Lahat, totoo at tama. Matatagalan man pero ayos lang yan, Every bit of pain will be worth it in the end. Darating ka din sa panahon na pag naalala mo lahat ng yan, matatawa ka nalang. Trust meeee! Good luck.