okay i'm done with that now

Honestly, the more we talk about it, the more it seems like the goddess trio would be perfect for a slapstick comedy sitcom called “Goddess Girlfriends” or something

And in meta they all laugh cause all the fans are like “THEY’RE FRIENDS” and nah. They’re all gay for each other. Girlfriends is literal.

Some News.

Okay, y’all know I’ve been honest with you from the beginning, and that isn’t changing now.

So buckle up, because I have some more news for you, and there is some of you who may be unhappy about it. But this is me being honest, 100%, with you.

I’m going to keep my break going until March 1st.

This is not a decision I’m making lightly (you want proof, ask Sarah or Alyssa), but it’s one that I had to make.

I love writing, and I’ve loved writing for this blog. But right now, I’m not in the right mindset for it.
There has been some shit happening in my personal life that has just left me spiralling out of control, and I’m working really hard to not let myself go down a dark path again (so far, so good. But there’s been close calls, not gonna lie).

And having this past week off has been good for me, but unfortunately I haven’t really been able to relax because of the shit storm that became my life (short summary: exhaustion, a cold, family medical stuff, life changes, life realizations, and no water in my apartment for two days).

There is some of you that are going to be like “Well, you’re still posting on your Joeck blog, why not one here?”
And it’s time I tell you guys something I haven’t told you yet: I was struggling.
I got to a point that I would actually dread looking at my requests because I was just not feeling motivated or inspired to write them. There is a good few stories that I almost didn’t post because I was nearly unhappy with them.
You guys know I don’t want to post something I’m unhappy with.

With my Joeck blog, I haven’t hit that point yet. I’m still really enjoying writing each request and story, and am happy with everything I post over there.

I don’t want you to think that this blog is ending, or that Joeck (or even Miack even though I’ve literally only written two stories with that pairing) is taking priority.
Because it’s not. I swear.
I’ve just written SO many stories on here (502 give or take), that I need to take a step back and just refresh my system. Which is why I’m extending the break on here.

There is still so many amazing imagine blogs out there that post stories that you guys can read and support while I’m away, and you can go reread old stories, because there’s a few haha.

When I started this blog, I never once expected it to take off the way it did.
It’s bloody amazing.
I’m still constantly amazed by the response for my stories and everything from you guys.
I know, I say this repeatedly, but I just don’t understand why you all follow me and read my little stories. Its something I just can’t wrap my head around. That’s all.

I do love and appreciate you guys though, and I always smile when I scroll through my phone’s notifications and see all of you liking and reblogging my stuff. And those of you that are silent readers (much like I am), I still love and appreciate you as well.

On to other matters:

When I come back on March 1st, there will be some changes being implemented.

These will include my posting schedule, posting days, and requesting.
I’m making these changes to help myself, and so I can keep posting stories for all of you.

If this break, or these future changes, make me lose followers, that’s fine. I don’t blame you. It’s a long break.
I thank you for sticking with me for as long as you did, and I hope you enjoyed the stories.

For those of you that are sticking it out with me, also thank you. I hope you’ve enjoyed the stories so far.

I’m still around. I’m still here if you want to talk or ask questions or for advice.

I’m just stepping back from writing Joe/Reader stories for a bit, that’s all.
(Also, it’s just hitting me now, holy shit, I’ve written 500 stories for this blog. What the hell.)

I hope you all can understand and respect my decision, again this was not made lightly. None of the decisions I make for this blog are made lightly.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ASK me and I’ll get back to you at my earliest convenience (remember, I do work two jobs haha).

I love you guys.
Thanks for being on this crazy journey with me.

a sad journal entry

truth be told, i’m not okay. i constantly tell myself i’m okay in hopes that one day, i will believe it; in hopes that one day, it will be true. but i never will be.

i’m lost. everybody around me know’s what’s going on and i’m always confused or behind, struggling to meet the mere standards, while others excel easily. it’s tiring, truthfully, to watch others grab your dreams and snatch them away from you in an instant.

i live in the shadows of people i’m supposed to love. it’s hard to love my friends when they’re all i want to be. and it’s especially hard to love them when they’re tearing me down, without even knowing it.

there’s no point in tracing my emotions when all i feel is numbness; there’s no point tracing the days when there’s nothing to look forward to; and there’s no point in tracing my life when it will all be over soon.

i dream that someday, i’ll be okay - but my body is drained of all hope i once owned, and i can’t seem to revive the feeling. i’ve forgotten when it feels like to be full of hope and happiness.

i’ve accepted the fact that my dream will never be my reality. and i’ve accepted the fact that it can only get worse from here.

i apologize if my feelings have somehow managed to hurt you. i swear, they hurt me a hell lot more.

i doubt anyone will miss me, but if someone does, i beg you to stop. it’s hard dealing with loss, take it from me; but putting your life on hold will not help. please continue on doing things that make you happy, please continue to smile and try not to think of me. i am a part of the past now, and you’ve got to focus on your future. i’ll give you a hint: it’s a bright one.

i don’t know why i feel this way or how these feelings came to be. all i know is soon, this will all be over. it’ll all be over when i feel the air pounding against my body, when i hear the cars zooming by above me, and when i open my eyes for the last time; seeing my life flash before me under the beautiful night sky, illuminated by the stars. and in that moment, i will be happier than ever.

just 20 days, love. i miss you dearly and i’ll see you soon.



wrote this awhile ago & i like to look back at it every now and then, so yeaaaaahhhhh

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only once.”
- George R. R. Martin

Book cover: All the Bright Places

Phichit’s a Manx! So he’s got a little stub tail <3

Yuri has lots of play dates with Phichit. They’re very soft play dates. Victor cries from the intense cuteness while also feeling incomprehensibly envious

Yura has playdates with Otabek, but they’re more like “Yura disappears for hours and is spotted 16 blocks away at the motorshop Otabek lives in”

Okay, let this be my last post commenting on YOI episode 12 because I just want to get these thoughts out of my mind already and move on to impatiently waiting for season 2 of my beloved Yuri on Ice.

I spent the past few days thinking about why so many people felt unsatisfied or even disappointed by episode 12 and I think I’ve reached a conclusion most of us can agree with: It didn’t deliver an emotional climax.

I don’t know if it tried to deliver one and failed or it just chose not to, hoping that the promise of season 2 would be enough, but the point is that there was none.

What do I mean by ‘emotional climax’? Like the kiss in episode 7, or the airport scene in episode 9, or the engagement and banquet in episode 10. Something that shocked and awed everyone at the same time, that amazing surprise, that big development that changed things and meant something but also that made us feel something. That positive punch in the gut.

And episode 12 just… had nothing like that.

I mean the pair skate was beautiful and I adored it and that last scene when Yuuri is running down the bridge in Saint Petersburg to meet Victor and Yurio was just as great and actually had me squealing quietly, but it wasn’t quite the level of what we’ve seen before.

And I can honestly understand why people feel unsatisfied. Because, in simple terms, we got the build-up but the pay-off never came. What I mean by this can be explained by what we’ve seen in episodes 6 to 10. 6 was a build-up to the developments we later see in 7, while 8 was a build-up to 9 and 10. Episodes 6 and 8 may have been less eventful in terms of developing Victor and Yuuri’s relationship, but in the end they were necessary and important for what happened in the following episodes. They weren’t all that satisfying on their own (this especially went for ep 8, I think) but paired with the events of the next episode, we all but forgot about that uneventfulness because it overall contributed to the amazing feeling we got once we hit that emotional climax (like the airport scene in ep 9 and the following engagement in ep 10).

Now, this is relevant to ep 12 in a few ways. Episode 11 certainly felt like build-up to something big, and that would make sense, I think we can agree here, we all felt like something big was coming in episode 12 (as is usually the case with finales). And by “something big” I don’t necessarily mean Yuuri winning gold or a wedding (though admittedly, many of us would have liked that). I think most of us though simply expected and were looking forward to Victor and Yuuri’s bedroom conversation, to them finally getting on the same page and understanding each others’ feelings. I think most us just wanted to hear Victor say that he wants to stay with Yuuri, even if he will no longer be his coach. I think we all wanted to hear that their private relationship is just as important as (if not more important than) their professional one and that just… never happened.

As of right now, Victor and Yuuri still don’t seem to be clear on what their relationship is and what they want from and for each other and we certainly haven’t seen them openly discuss it, despite the fact that ep 11 was building up to that and setting up that scene. So we basically got the build-up, but instead of the climax, the tension just sort of plateaued then began slowly falling.

I’m more than willing to attribute this to the fact that the ending was changed last-minute in order to accommodate for a second season, and perhaps the original ending did have an emotional climax to it, but this one just didn’t.

I mean, Yuuri’s flawless Free Skate had a climax of its own and I think it was great and important, but for example both Victor and Yuuri’s decisions to continue/return to skating were rather anticlimactic. They were relevant of course, but they sort of appeared and disappeared without really trying to move the viewers - they were mostly just plainly stated and the audience was left to somehow feel something from that.

At the same time though, I don’t think that episode 12 was bad or that making a second season is a bad idea. I’ve already said this the week before episode 12 was released but it was impossible to fit a satisfying conclusion into just 23 minutes. It just wasn’t physically doable. I’m sure the original ending tried to do it, but I doubt it would have succeeded either. It would probably also be unsatisfying in some way, but it wouldn’t even leave an option for a second season.

So overall, I’d say it was a good thing. Because a second season can give us character backstories (*cough* like for Victor and Yurio *cough*), and more character interactions, and more development, both in terms of characters and relationships, and an actual satisfying conclusion that wouldn’t feel rushed.

Victor will be able to return to his career, then properly retire when the time comes (rather than do so abruptly after taking a break), Yuuri will be able to get that gold medal he deserves (and we can explore his psychology deeper) and  Yurio will (hopefully) get more screentime and we will be able to understand him and relate to him better (and he’ll have more screentime which is always a good thing for someone that was meant to be a main character and then sort of faded into the background).

So yeah, overall, the ending of the anime lacked an emotional climax, that positive punch in the gut that forced us to feel things, which left many of us feeling a bit empty and unsatisfied. But at the same time, I’m not upset with episode 12 at all because it’s a promise of getting to know these characters better and of a proper, wholesome conclusion - both of these being key in a character-driven story such as Yuri on Ice.

I’m? So angry on @steveaoki and his teams’ account. Like. They have been working their butts off for this single. Steve has been mentioning it as much as he can, and his team has been using it as much as possible. So the fact that The Late Late Show is trying to use Louis’ name to promote the single (meanwhile his fans have done more than his team has for this single) is so gross. 

I want a hashtag with Louis and Steve TOGETHER, if not one for Steve alone if you’re going to make the host make one without Steve. The false idea that Louis’ fanbase is just here to blindly promote whatever he does needs to be squashed. We have continued to support this song and promotion cycle because Steve and his team have made us feel like we are being recognized and loved for the effort we put forward. 

The fact that The Late Late Show has been naive enough to think that it has been a blind following is insulting to us as fans and Steve and his team as people. I’m so angry right now.


↳ DAY 1: Angel

From the Hebrew name מִיכָאֵל (Mikha'el) meaning “who is like God?