okay i laughed really hard

u know whats great? that lance has honestly taught me that its okay to be a guy and care about beauty, that its not just a feminine thing and even if it was that there’s nothing wrong with that! 

the only other times in movies or tv i’ve see a man wear a face mask or pamper himself is when someones using it for humor- haha look at that guy, he’s not manly at all! he must be gay! thats not something boys do!

lance enjoys pampering himself and feeling pretty and it’s not just used as joke, it’s a part of his nature and no one else points it out or scoffs at it

that just makes me really happy and honestly that precious boy has allowed me to accept certain parts of myself i didn’t at first 

you can be a boy and have a beauty routine, you can take care of your skin, its a relief finally seeing that validated and i really appreciate the voltron writers for giving us this part of lance, because it’s so so important! i love him!

Strawberries

This might not be really funny but I laughed really hard at this. Okay so this one time at lunch I was eating strawberries, and my friend next to me noted that it was a pound of strawberries. He then proceeded to give a look that said oh crap I didn’t mean to talk about your weight (it’s probably important to note that I’m female and my friend is male and we were also both in our final year of high school). So anyway I told him that since the ‘pound’ is mostly water, the water would get filtered out into my blood and then go through my kidneys. He then asked what happens after that, and just as I was about to say that it goes to the bladder, he quickly (and very loudly in the middle of the hallway) says “oh yeah it goes to the uterus!”

daddy-devil  asked:

I'm laughing so hard okay I can imagine them being really passive aggressive towards eachother using Virgil while they are fighting, "Oh Roman is watching you today, wait didn't he break my glasses yesterday? Hey Virgy do you wanna try a "Rockstar"?"

“Oh, wait, it’s Logan’s turn to watch you today? Here, Lil Pat, you should definitely have these pixie stix. And this soda. Now go get Momma Lo Lo!” *endless snickering*

“Ah, I understand it is Roman’s turn to be your caretaker today, Virgil. How would you feel about taking these markers and drawing on everything he ever held dear?” Tiny Virgil claps with glee and wanders off giggling, with markers in hand. “Excellent.”

“Hey there, kiddo. I know it’s Virgil’s turn to take care of you, my little angel. You know what his room really needs, Ro? Glitter. All of this beautiful glitter. So many fun colors! Won’t that be fun?” 

smolmoonlady  asked:

I was at work one night and we get a call at 8:45 and I prepare for the order. They just ask "What time do you guys close?" I told him at 9. And this guy just lets out this disappointed groan for like 20 seconds and then just says "okay thanks" like he's really defeated. I was laughing too hard to let him know I could still take his order.

anonymous asked:

Hello my sin friend, can i ask for a svt reaction when he is in a tour And u call him, but in the middle of the call u say another name like "Simon" or something like that, so he is angry And start to think u are cheating, but in the end u only adopted a cat. Thanks, Sorry my awful english, Hope u understand!!

Hello, Evil Empress of Sin here! Don’t worry, I understand! Your English is good! So I chose a Korean name for the cat because Simon the Cat is a YouTube series, so writing the name as Simon made me laugh really hard. I hope that’s okay! Thank you for your request! 


“The acting in this is faker than Jihoon’s hair colour,” Jeonghan sighed, flopping back against the pillow where Seungcheol was already dozing off. The members all collectively tensed, eyes wandering over to where Jihoon was perched in the desk chair looking at his Instagram.

“Do you wanna die tonight?” Jihoon asked softly, not even looking up.

“My feet are killing me so I wouldn’t mind it too much,” Jeonghan answered snippily, popping a jellybean into his mouth without a care in the world.

They continued ‘watching’ the movie, half of them on their phones by this point when a loud buzz vibrated on the bed between Hansol and Chan. Hansol leapt to his feet, careful not to step on Mingyu on the way down. “Excuse me, excuse me,” he rambled as he jumped and tripped his way over the stack of boys on the hotel floor.

“What’s your big hurry?” Soonyoung mumbled through a mouthful of peanuts, looking back at the television.

“Y/N is calling me!” Hansol exclaimed, throwing open the connecting door that led to his and Seungkwan’s room.

“Dude, it can wait! We can’t rewind on this TV!”

“Y/N’s been busy all week and hasn’t called me once, I need to go talk for a little bi- heeey, babe!”

Soonyoung rolled his eyes as Hansol disappeared into the other room. “They’re gonna sext.”

“you’re so gross, Soonyoung,” Wonwoo muttered, scandalised.

Soonyoung shook his head. “Nah, they gonna sext.”

“Hansol!” Y/N exclaimed, “Oh my goodness, I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you much. It’s just been so busy over here.”

Hansol closed the door softly behind him, just in case Seungkwan was in bed. He and Seokmin had been in there earlier, but noticing the silence, he guessed they went off in search of a vending machine.

“Oh, no, it’s totally okay!” he answered sincerely. “I get it. We’ve been promoting a ton too over here, so we’re all sorta just done.”

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Y/N sighed. “I heard you and Jisoo on the radio yesterday. I meant to text, but I was busy.”

Hansol flopped down on his bed, noticing all the Starburst wrappers Seokmin forgot to pick up. “It’s okay, I promise! What’s been keeping you so busy?”

“Oh, just little things. Cleaning up my apartment’s been a hassle the past few days. Also, I’m getting a new couch.”

Hansol frowned. “Why? I like your couch.”

“I know, but it’s just kinda old, I guess.”

Hansol was still frowning, but he nodded. “I guess I understand.” Plucking up a pink Starburst, he continued on more brightly, “So aside from busy stuff, have you done anything fun?”

There was lots of shuffling on the other line. Hansol guessed Y/N was getting into bed or changing into a sweatshirt or something. “Um… no, not anything too special.” More shuffling. “I just ate dinner.”

Hansol smiled. “What did you have? We found a cool sushi place by the hotel. The owner’s daughter knew us so he gave us free ice cream.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” Lots of shuffling and a slight grunt. “Just ramen. I didn’t have time to cook much, so we- I! I- I decided to just stay in and watch a movie.”

At that, Hansol perked up a little. “Did your friends come over to watch with you?”

“No, they were busy tonight. I just wanted to be by myself.” There was a small grunt again, sounding something between a laugh and annoyance, and then much more shuffling.

Hansol laughed slightly, more in confusion than anything else. Something was not right in how his partner was talking to him, and it was worrying him a bit. “What are you doing over there? It sounds like you’re doing gymnastics, Babe.”

Y/N laughed easily. “No, I promise I’m not, I’m just kinda-,” The phone was jerked away, and a slight, “No, let g-!” was heard before it was returned. Y/N’s voice came back far too loud, “Sorry, I’m just antsy right now.”

Hansol was sitting up now. “Is someone with you right now? Because if I’m being honest, I’m actually kinda worried right now. Tell me the truth, is something up?”

Just as he said this, the hotel door clicked open. He glanced over to see Seungkwan and Seokmin entering with Cokes and potato chips, but he ignored them when they waved.

“No, Hansol, I promise there isn’t, I just-,” Y/N actually yelped, and Hansol was on his feet in an instant. Seungkwan and Seokmin noticed and stared at him, their expressions obviously questioning him.

“Y/N, what the hell is going on?” he demanded, worry and aggravation written plainly on his face and edging in his voice.

“Hansol, I,” Y/N faltered, sounding ready to spill everything when they exclaimed, “I gotta go.”

“Y/N, wait-,”

“I gotta go.”

The phone was yanked from Y/N’s mouth, and just before hanging up, Hansol heard loud and clear, “Ji-Eun Seongsaengnim, you need to knock it the hell off-,” before the call ended angrily.

Hansol just stood there, feeling like a total idiot, and without saying anything just let the phone fall to the bed.

“Hansol-ah…?” Seungkwan started. He and Seokmin watched him carefully; his back was to them, but they could see the tenseness in his arms and shoulders. “Hansol, what happened?”

Hansol turned around, his brows furrowed so tightly that they looked ready to burst. “I… I don’t know yet,” he mumbled. Seeing their confusion, he said slowly, “Y/N doesn’t sound well. Something was wrong. I think someone was in the apartment, but when I asked, Y/N kept telling me ‘no’. Then right before hanging up, he/she yelled at someone. Do we know a Ji-Eun?”

Seungkwan and Seokmin stared at one another, their brows now knit similarly. “No,” Seungkwan said, immediate accusation flooding his features.

Seokmin coughed. “But Y/N doesn’t lie like that, Hansol,” he said comfortingly, setting his Coke down so he could sit. “You don’t really think there’s cheating or something, do you?”

Hansol was still frozen, brows still knit. “I really don’t know.”

His friends were quiet for awhile. Finally, Seungkwan murmured, “I’m sorry, Hansol.”

“We’ll be going home soon,” Seokmin added kindly. “You can talk about it then, right?”

Hansol smiled, just enough to upturn the corners of his mouth, but his brow didn’t loosen. “Yeah. I hope so.”


Seventeen returned to Seoul the next week just as the sun was setting. The members were all exhausted and Chan had to be carried from the van upstairs by a very disgruntled Seungcheol.

As they all moved their luggage upstairs, Hansol hurried over to Seokmin. “I’m running to Y/N’s place, okay? I already got permission from the manager.”

Seokmin nodded with an encouraging smile. “I hope it goes well, okay?”

Hansol smiled. “Thanks, man.”

Turning the corner from the dorms, Hansol ran all six blocks to the apartment despite how tired he was; he had been worried sick since the day of the phone call, and the worry had only increased with each passing day. He had tried hard not to think about it, he really had, but so many concerns plagued him. Hansol knew it had always been hard on you with him always being gone. Time together was near impossible with his schedule, and even when you could see each other, it had to remain hidden so the public- mostly his fans- would not lash out at either of you. Hansol almost tried to convince himself that cheating would be okay under those circumstances, but he knew that it really was not; if you could not handle the lack of company, he would just hope for you to break up with him. He would understand why you were struggling and not be nearly as sad as if you were actually with somebody else, something he knew his heart could never handle.

All these thoughts swarming around his head with each step, Hansol practically sprinted up the steps to the gate of your apartment. Pressing the buzzer for number 12, your apartment, he stood frantically tapping his hand against the side of his thigh, awaiting your answer. Soon enough, a crackle fizzed through the speaker, and he stood petrified as you spoke, “Hello?”

Hansol almost broke the button as he held down to speak. “Y/N? It’s Hansol- er, yeah, me. I’m home. Can I please come up?”

There was a moment of silence. Then the intercom crackled to life. “I- of course! Yes, that’s fine! Come on up!”

The door unlocked, and Hansol tore through it, pounding up the stairs to the thirds floor since the elevator was too slow. Reaching your door, he pounded down hard with his fist, still bouncing on his heels with nervousness. Then the door clicked open.

You popped your head out, trying to keep your apartment hidden. You smiled brightly quite aware of your flushed cheeks and messy hair. “Hansol! I didn’t expect you tonight!” You stepped out, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug. He hugged you back, but you could feel how tense he was, and it put you on edge. You pulled away, slightly confused. “Are you okay? I’ve missed you!”

Scratching the back of his neck uneasily, Hansol smiled. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, I missed you too. Just- could I come in real quick? I swear I won’t stay long, I just have to talk to you real quick.”

At that, you froze. You motioned feebly at the door as if you’d never seen it before. “In there?”

At that, Hansol looked thoroughly distraught. “Uh… yeah. In your apartment.”

You peeked behind you pathetically, taking a deep sigh before stepping aside to let him in. He stepped inside and took off his shoes, but you could see his eyes carefully scanning everything. He took a few steps in, taking far too long to glance over your kitchen counter.

“Hansol?” You stepped in after him, not sure what to do with yourself. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting funny since you got here.”

Hansol turned and looked at you, and he looked ready to vomit. “Can we please sit down?”

“Um, sure.” You led him into your small living room, to the new sky blue couch you just moved in. You could see his dark hazel eyes staring at it before sitting down.

“Oh my gosh, could you just please tell me what’s wrong?”

Hansol looked up at you, that weird look still on his face. “I, um… I… ugh.” Pulling you down next to him, he said slowly, carefully, “Something is wrong. Or at least I think so. Last week when you called me, you literally sputtered and couldn’t talk the whole time, and then you kept saying how ‘busy’ you’ve been, but you couldn’t tell me with what, and then you even mentioned someone’s name. A guy’s name, and um, and…” His eyes scanned the living room desperately, falling on the couch you both were sitting on. “And this!” he cried suddenly, causing you to jump. “This couch! You got it because the other one was too old, which is understandable, but… it was the way you said it. And you hung up on me.” Seeing the total alarm in your eyes, he sighed and hung his head. “Look,” he said, “I just need to know if something is wrong, mostly between us, because I feel like for some reason all that stuff you were mumbling about has to do with me. And I get that I’m basically the world’s worst boyfriend, because I’m never here for you, but if you’re unhappy then you have to tell me. I can’t just sit here and guess how you feel. And also, I don’t know who that guy is you were yelling at, but if you’re into having him around then we need to break up right now, because I refuse to be cheated on no matter how bad of a partner I might be, okay?”

At that, you could feel fear, sadness, and laughter building up inside you, and in a shaking voice you said softly, “Um… you’re not wrong, but you’re not right either.”

Seeing the total alarm on his face, you actually laughed slightly. “I wasn’t planning on telling you this early, mostly because he’s not being good these days, but I have a surprise for you. Come with me!”

You stood up quickly, grabbing his hands and ignoring his confusion, and dragged him down your small hallway to your closed bedroom door. Turning the knob excitedly, you threw open the door and tugged him in, watching as his face went from confused to very confused to sudden shock, then total joy. The small gray munchkin cat curled up on your bed looked up from his sleep softly, his round eyes locking with Hansol’s equally round ones immediately.

Hansol looked at you, his eyes watering and mouth wide open, then back at the cat, then back at you at a complete loss at what to do with himself. You just giggled, relief finally washing over you that he was not angry anymore. “Surprise!” you sang in a small voice, waving jazz hands feebly.

Without even waiting for you to say anything else, Hansol practically threw himself onto the bed to pet him. “This is the surprise? Oh my god, where did you get him?”

You sat next to him as he let the cat lick his finger in total awe. “I got him at a pet store,” you said wide-eyed, like it was a big secret. He almost rolled his eyes at you, but was too pleased by the cat to do so. “His name is Ji-Eun, and he belongs to the both of us. I know you miss your cat back home, so I figured Ji-Eun would be nice. And honestly, he’s nice company to me for when you can’t visit. He’s bad though; he shredded up the old couch entirely, so I had to get a new one and get him a scratching post.” You motioned to the corner where you had kept it. Hansol didn’t look though, he now had Ji-Eun buried in his jacket and looked like he was ready to cry. You put a hand on his shoulder, preparing to speak again, when he cut you off with a soft kiss.

He pulled away slowly, watching the blush spread over your cheeks, and he said immediately, “Y/N, I can’t say sorry enough. I accused you of cheating on me when you were trying to hide a gift to me, and I…” His head hung, and you could see him searching for words, something comforting to say, but you just rested your head on his shoulder.

“I can understand why you would think that,” you laughed with embarrassment. “I wasn’t good at hiding it at all. I mean, Ji-Eun clawed my leg when I was on the phone with you and I about screamed.”

Hansol bolted straight up, eying you in shock, like he put something together inside his head. He swallowed. “He did?”

You leaned over to roll up your jeans, revealing the bottom of five long red streaks on your calf. Hansol gulped again.

“I thought, that, um, I thought someone was tou-,”

“No, no, but I can understand! I’m sorry about that. And it’s true, I’m lonely when you’re not here. I needed someone with me. But it would never be another man, and I can swear to God on that.” You lifted his chin to look you in the eyes. “I love you, Hansol. Even if it’s hard, please don’t doubt that, and I promise I’ll never doubt you, okay?”

Hansol smiled softly, his eyes watering slightly in the corners. He started to laugh a little bit, something he always did when he was trying to overcome any sad feelings, to cheer himself up, and he pulled you into a hug. “I feel so silly now… You were having an affair with a tiny cat.”

You laughed at him, hugging him tighter, reaching up to wipe his tears with your fingers, making him laugh in turn.

You both sat there, petting your new family member, and even if Ji-Eun was just a cat, he was a promise between the two of you to not doubt again. 


Seungkwan and Seokmin were sitting in the kitchen, distracted by their worry about Hansol when a Snapchat rolled in. Seungkwan pulled out his phone lazily, opening it. His eyes lit up.

“Seokmin!”

“Huh?”

“Hansol is a dad!”

Seokmin dropped his water all down his shirt and he almost slipped running over, the need to vomit, scream, cry, and swear like a sailor mixing together inside his head when Seungkwan shoved the phone in his face. On the screen was Hansol, a tiny gray cat latched to his face by its sharp baby claws and him simultaneously screaming and dabbing with #1 Dad stickers everywhere.


When Hansol returned that night, the other ten were cleaning the dorm, which confused him since they had not been around long enough to make a mess. Nobody told him that when Seungkwan screamed, “Hansol is a dad!” as loud as he could, they all collectively dropped, ripped, crushed, or snapped whatever they were doing. They were even more concerned by the deep red claw marks all over his face as well. It was a night of surprises, indeed.

B.A.P posing for a photoshoot:
  • [Youngjae stares at Zelo]
  • Zelo: What's wrong with you?
  • Youngjae: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me is that you're freakishly tall. I feel like a woodland creature.

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you could write about Himawari getting seriously hurt and Naruto can't handle it because he was supposed to protect her? It can be short. I love your writing and everything that you bring to it!

It’s difficult to remember a time when Himawari had been vulnerable.

Naruto has flashes of her vulnerability stowed deep, in the recesses of his present mind. They flash by in swaddles of baby blankets and crib bars, in onesies and unsteady legs insistent on movement. He sees her blue eyes, so like his own, too big for her face, and the crinkles that appear at the corners when he makes her laugh; the weight of her in his arms, feather-light and celebrated, tucked into the inseams of his elbows, streamline against the iron of his forearms.

There was a time when she belonged there, tucked right up against his heart, sheltered in muscle and bone and warmth. His baby girl.

And a different kind of vulnerability when Himawari crested a mountain upon which adulthood peaked, and someone wasn’t careful with her heart. Himawari is a warm girl, bright and smiling, relentlessly peaceful and proactive. She’s all too similar to Naruto in that regard, actions always preceding words, and Naruto knows best how often that can lead to pain. She had not hidden her pain from him, but rather shattered against his chest, tears crystalline; raindrops against pain-stained glass.

The weight of her in his arms; the wet touch of tears against his chest.

Naruto does not scream, he does not move. He trembles, not from the weight of his daughter, hanging unresponsively in his arms, or the exertion of fighting an army to get to her. No, something insidious hisses from the gaping maw of his own weaknesses, not from exertion.

Rage courses steadily but so slowly, a thawing of feeling, sensation evaporating in increments through his bloodstream. Himawari’s blood stains his clothes and his eyes sharpen into pinpricks, his heart a war drum booming, booming, counting down the seconds before.

Claws pierce through the skin of his fingertips and curl around Himawari’s arm, pinpricks almost touching skin. Battalions close in on him from all sides, weapons flying, seals forming too quickly for the human eye to catch. Naruto feels heat at his back and doesn’t know if it’s a fire jutsu or the rage, peeling at the skin of his back, the wings of his shoulders caved in around the fading light of his daughter.

Naruto leans down and presses his lips to her forehead, the faintest of touches. Time seems to slow as he kneels, settles her unmoving body against the grass at his feet. Something pierces his side, jerking his body but not his attention, and he reaches out to run his thumb along Himawari’s sallow cheek. It comes back with dirt and blood and blood and blood.

Naruto feels the threads of his skin begin to unwind and a roar builds from the pit of his gut to the caverns of his lungs; his bones shift and shatter. The mangled graveyard of his vocal chords vibrates preemptively around a breath, and Naruto raises the necrotic cells back to life with a scream that tears veins from the earth around his feet.

Himawari hasn’t needed his protection for years, had advanced through the ranks quicker than anyone her age, and many above her. She’s as lethal as she is careful, except when she isn’t, and Naruto had failed her. He had failed her.

“My little girl,” he snarls, and the frontlines stutter and stumble, hesitation without control in the face of a monster so willfully unwinding.

He pulls the kunai from his side and crushes it to dust, to dust, to dust in the palm of his hand—the first time he held Himawari, so small and beautiful, two weeks sooner than she should’ve been born, she had fit in the palm of his—

Naruto’s pinprick eyes flash open and he teaches his enemies what it is to become a reckoning.

And it’s the earth and all her creatures that learn to tremble.

okay i just started laughing really hard because stark means strong in German and all i can think of now is Bruce finding this out and when he’s The Hulk going “Tony Strong” every time he sees Tony with a hardy pat to accompany it and Tony gets all proud and puffy chested every time Hulk does it 

until one day Tony walks into the Avengers lounge in a Beerfest shirt -that Nat bought him and the only reason he wears it is because he Fears™ her- and Bruce just fucking loses it. Tony bugs him about why he’s laughing but all Bruce can get out is a barely audible, strained “Tony Strong” between fits of laughter. Then Nat starts snickering and says “Tony Stark" then Steve starts to do his ‘ugly’ laugh(which is his really laugh) -because Steve knows at least conversational German- and Tony is so confused.

till Jarvis goes “Stark is one of several German words that can translate to strong, sir.” 

THEN IT BECOMES A MEME 

SCREAMS this got long so im putting it under cut yehafhjsdgh

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