okay have fun with this guys i need to go do work for reals

cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Unpopular Voltron opinion, with meta to back it up.

I don’t think the big Keith and Lance scene in episode 6 was meant to be seen as having gone well, or for things to be getting back on track in regards to Lance’s doubts. I’m actually pretty sure the conversation unintentionally made things with Lance even worse.

Just because Keith and Lance shared a scene alone together, without any fighting or outward disagreements, does NOT mean it went well. I know everyone who is a Klance shipper wants that to be the case, but the whole “5 feet apart” jokes and logic with their ship shouldn’t suddenly change the emotional tone that is ACTUALLY present here.

Do not get me wrong, it is clear that both of them wanted this talk to go well without any confrontation, and to talk with a level head and with honesty. They have both grown as people to realize this. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t a major miscommunication here. 

Lets go through this moment by moment, shall we?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How’d you learn to draw mechas? I’ve been wanting to try that myself for a while, and I know as an artist that the only way to learn is to just Do it, but it’s so daunting! I have no idea where to begin. Do you have any advice or tips? Thank you for your time!

Okay first of all, sorry to take so long to answer. I really wanted to draw some pics for this, and the last weeks have been quite busy. 

1. Draw from the reference

Drawing is like learning a new language: You can’t say you wanna learn English and then just start making up your own words because you think that finding words in the dictionary is cheating - It doesn’t make sense. Find a super cool robot picture and try to copy it. These are called “studies” for a good reason. You’re studying the vocabulary of those drawings. Many times people don’t share their studies since it’s only for the practice. But don’t study just one person. You don’t want to become that person - you want to become better! And if you post your study online, don’t forget to credit the original artist!

2. Try different techniques

One of my favorite techniques is something I call color blocking - I’m not sure if it’s an actual term or just something I came up with. I kind of carve the silhouette of the robot with one color and then I add a second color and carve the details in. I do this also if I have a picture with lots of characters and I want to make sure everything reads correctly. But these are all personal matters. Try different techniques until you find a one that works for you. And remember to flip your canvas!!

3. Try different brushes

My favorite brushes vary, but these three are the ones I keep using more than the others. Kyle’s brush I got used to while I was working on my freelance work - it just feels good to draw with. The square one is really fun to work with in mecha designs, and the basic one also feels surprisingly good while drawing. Sometimes I just grab a new brush, start doodling, and end up with a decent piece.

4. Symmetry vs. asymmetry

This one I included especially because I’m talking about robots. Breaking up the machines with asymmetrical parts gives them more character BUT it’s important to keep the symmetry in mind. If I do a robot that has a one big arm and one small arm, I later make sure that most of the other parts are symmetrical. This way the asymmetry is the choice rather than a mistake.

5. Draw from the reference (!!!)

Yes, I added this the second time because I really feel it’s important! I use Pinterest all the time - I have a board with over 1000 pins of robots! There are paintings from my favorite robot artists, 3D models of super cool robot designs, and even photos of real robots all collected in one place. And for anyone who feels “wrong” doing this: Finding reference DOESN’T mean copying - it can be just an idea or inspiration: It’s finding the language you want to use. Sure you won’t need  the reference as much later on as you build your own “shape-vocabulary” - just like you won’t need your dictionary after you have learned the words you use.

6. It doesn’t have to be perfect

I’m never 100% happy with my work. But I have learned to say “oh well” and move on. Next time I’ll do better.

7. BE PROUD! 

Don’t talk down your own work no matter how much you’d like to. If you’re not standing behind your drawings, who will? Sure you do see the mistakes, but it’s still a great piece of art you made!

The Issue of Being a Freelance Artist (When working with non-designers): A story by Sean Williams (and future reference for other artists)

Hey guys, looks like its story time… I’m going to vent to you guys about something that just happened to me today, and hopefully you guys can reblog it so that we as artists, can try to avoid this from happening in the future.

For the last month or so I’ve been working on a freelance project for a woman who plans on running a blog about going to College. Throughout this process, I’ve worked with her step by step, going through designs, drafts, re-drafts and etc. After turning in the final design yesterday and being in agreement that the design was good, and that payment should be finalized; she sent me an email stating this: 

“I ran the design by a couple of people affiliated with by blog, and I am going to have to ask you to redo it.  It’s just not what we were looking for.  I’m not a design person at all and I wanted it done, so I settled on it. But this has to be done right”

Settled. 

“Okay, fine” I thought. Sometimes things don’t work out, and designs need to be redone. I was fine with this, and I have absolutely no problem working with a client to make sure that they’re happy; but something about her wording stuck a chord…. She settled. And for reference: THIS is what she said yesterday- BEFORE the email today stating: “This has to be done right” 


FUN FACT: I had gone in a completely different direction before coming up with the design I sent yesterday, but after HOURS of working on it and checking in with her (with her telling me she loved the way it looked) –

–I was asked to redo it.


She told me to redo it. A DAY BEFORE IT WAS DUE.  Which I did (The design I turned in yesterday). But I digress..

I continued reading through the email: 

“If you are not able or willing to take this on, then we can just cut our ties here.  If you would like to finish the project in a time sensitive manner and be paid the other 50$ and be featured, then please get me a new design by today.” 

At this point, I’d been working with her for a little over a month, (I’m a full-time student, and I work the maximum number of hours that I’m allowed to work on campus, on top of that I’m the president of an animation organization on campus, so suffice to say, I’m busy) and she had a deadline for the project, so there was a part of me that could understand her urgency. We had decided on $100. Half up front and half after I had finished. But now something else had stuck with me: “Please get me a new design by today”

What? Are you kidding me? a NEW design? We had been working together for over a month, and I had worked based on what she wanted, and now she wanted a COMPLETELY new design by the end of the day. A day, I might add that I don’t have free because I have work and then other school-related obligations that I need to fulfill… That would mean sketches to generate more ideas, having to confer with her on the design, THEN actually implementing the design, and having to clean it all up, with 1.) No direction (because the way I designed it previously was obviously all wrong), and 2.) By the end of the day.


This had to be done right, and after all of that working and reworking, I was STILL looking to try to be as helpful and professional as possible. So of course,  I was considering starting from scratch and coming up with a THIRD finalized design, until I read the rest of the email… HERE’S THE KICKER: I can’t even make this shit up. 

“A few things to keep in mind. 1.  I am a professional.  I’m an adult, this is my business.  I want it clean, simple and streamlined”.

In my head I thought: “You’re joking. You’re going to tell me these things like I’m a child? First of all, I may be a student, but I’m a working adult, I take care of my schoolwork, I pay rent, I pay a car note, I’m ENGAGED, AND take care of a pet Ferret. Beyond that, not only have I worked on this project with you step, by step, but I’ve done COUNTLESS drafts and ON TOP OF THAT, you’ve told me multiple times that the design is perfect for what you’re looking for”

The email continued: 


“https://designschool.canva.com/blog/graphic-design-tips-non-designers/”

Are you fucking kidding me. This woman thought it was okay to send me: A designer; this “HELPFUL” link. About tips. FOR NON DESIGNERS. WHEN SHE HERSELF IS NOT A DESIGNER. After this I was LIVID. But I kept my composure and kept reading:

“Ask me questions, read the blog, treat me as if I’m a real client. Let me know your thoughts on this.” 

I almost couldn’t contain myself. For a month I’ve done sketches, layouts, and etc… I’d worked with you step by step, following her instructions for the design, FOR EACH ITERATION OF THE DESIGN and I had tailored each of my changes exactly to her specifications. Beyond that I’d read and re-read over the blog multiple times in an effort to come up with a design that would best display her intentions. I was so upset after reading her email that I literally just closed my phone and walked around for a few minutes to clear my head. 


After much consideration, I decided to do what she herself had suggested and cut our ties. And I did it in what I feel was the most respectful way that I could while still maintaining my dignity. I sent her a message stating that I’m sorry that things didn’t work out, but that I could tell that she clearly didn’t respect me as an artist, and that I thought it best if we didn’t continue working together. I wished her good luck in finding a designer that could suit her needs, and I went about my day. 

Although this situation didn’t end the way that I had expected it to when we began working together, I’ve learned some things, and I wanted to share my story with you all as a way to help raise awareness for things like this:

-VALUE YOUR ART. 
-VALUE YOUR TIME. 
-VALUE THE CLIENT BUT DO NOT LET THEM STEP ALL OVER YOU

There are non designers who will commission you and be happy that you created something for them, and there are those that will NEVER be satisfied with what you give them. See the warning signs and DO NOT work with people who are going to be difficult for the sake of being difficult.

 I’ve worked with more than a few people who don’t appreciate the amount of passion and hard work that goes into art, and it draining, frustrating and its just not worth it. 

Another thing that I learned is please please please DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT. 

The project that I was working on wasn’t worth $100. And after the second draft it was even worth doing for $200. I understand being a student and needing money, but I’d rather work for free on something that I love than work for pennies on something that I hate. 

Don’t take a project just because it pays. AND PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO UNDERCUT YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU’RE A STUDENT OR BECAUSE YOU DON’T FEEL THAT YOU’RE A “PROFESSIONAL” YET. 

I have friends in the animation industry who STILL don’t feel like they’re necessarily “Professionals”

KNOW YOUR WORTH.  And never ever EVER Let anyone tell you what you’re worth. Especially if they don’t know or respect just how much work and time goes into making the beautiful things that you all make.

I think that’s about it. Thanks for putting up with yet another long rant about me trying to navigate my life as an artist!

Originally posted by thatretaillife


(also… completely unrelated: If you’re an artist reading this, let me know! I’d love to follow you and I hope you do the same!)

-Sean 

Truth or Truth

Requested anonymously: A one shot where the reader has never been able to orgasm through masturbation. When Dean finds out, he offers to help.

Warning: smut, masturbation

Word Count: 2300

A/N: Hope you enjoy, anon! XOXO

“Truth or truth?” Dean asks, grinning a little sideways in that way that lets you know he’s just the right amount of drunk.

Truth or truth is the game you play when you’re both feeling a little wound up, needing to blow off some steam. You’re too old for stupid dares and too nervous for dares that might actually make you touch each other, so you settle for sticking to truths. It never amounts to anything, but you both enjoy the sexy words said in the dark as you lie together on one bed, a bottle being passed between you, like you have a life and a personality outside of monsters.

Keep reading

I’m now entering my third semester of my second year college, and I think I’ve gathered enough experience in college to give relevant tips to incoming freshmen or just regular old college students. I’m not an expert in getting all As, not getting those 4.0s in every subject, but I have maintained my place as a Dean’s Lister since my first sem freshmen year, so I think I do have an idea on what I’m talking about. Feel free to take my advice! (or not).

homework/projects
1. seriously, once you get information on your homework/project, start them immediately. DO NOT wait till last minute to complete them because you will regret it. Do them as soon as the professor assigns it to you so you won’t spend the next few weeks stressing out on the amount of homework you have.

2. start creative projects first. unless you can pull creativity out of your hat whenever you need it, I highly suggest you start creative projects as soon as  you get them because trust me when I say you do not want to be decorating/designing shit when the due date is tomorrow.

3. do your best in every assignment; trust me, the points will count at the end of the semester.

4. do extra credit work and treat it as priority work; excess points are cushion points. 

5. group projects suck but here’s a good rule to keep in mind: if you’re the leader, delegate those tasks (read up on division of labor). if you’re a group member, do the delegated task as best as you can. know your goal as a group; are you guys in it to get to know each other and build rapport? then the output won’t matter as much and focus on helping and getting to know each other. Is the output the most important part? Then be real with each other; if you can’t do this task, then don’t do it & instead give it to someone else. Some may not even get any work at all, because what matters is the output. 


friends/other people/professors
1.  keep your circle small. your friends are there to guide you, support you and tell you when you’re wrong. find the crowd you vibe with the most because trust me, the right friends are medicine to all college problems

2. those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. keep that in mind, my dear.

3. love the professor? do your best in their class. hate the professor? do your best in their class. it doesn’t matter whether you hate the prof or not; they still hold your grade at the end of the semester. if you really can’t stand them, just think of it as training your ability to be humble (and not punch someone).

4. talk to your professors. they’re not as bad as you think they are.

5. seriously, go to their consultation hours when you think you’re failing. 


class/notes
1. TAKE NOTES. cannot emphasize this enough. don’t rely on anyone to take your notes for you; it’s your education, it’s time you take responsibility for it.

2. sit in front of class if you believe you’ll get distracted if you sit in the back. 

3. talk to your seatmate! you’ll need them when you get sick and can’t come to class.

4. again, TAKE NOTES. don’t photograph the slide. write that shit down, or type it if you don’t want to write. bottom line, don’t picture it. 

5. revise, revise, revise. if you want to understand the material, a good way to go about it is to revise your notes in a way YOU can understand.


having fun/relationships
1. have fun! i was too stressed when I was a freshman all because I focused too much on getting 4.0s. It’s possible to get 4.0s and still have fun! having fun doesn’t need to be about drinking (although if it is, then stay safe doing it!) it could be reading a book or hanging out with your friends, whatever works for you and keeps your mind off school for awhile.

2. it’s okay to have crushes! they could be your inspiration (but don’t let them be your distraction)

3. talk to that cute guy you’ve been classmates with ever since February who you can’t stop looking at. you’ve got nothing to lose.

4. relationships are a good source of support, love and care but pls don’t forget your friends.

5. learn how to have fun, and college will be easier. 

Reminder: having fun does not equal to slacking off.

I guess that’s it! If you guys want more tips/advice/academic or college realted, I can write more or you can just hit up my ask! 

If MCR Songs Were People

This probably already exists but I spent two hours doing this instead of sleeping. Tell me which song you’re most like.

Welcome to the Black Parade: has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t know how to do a smoky eye, was in the marching band in high school, daddy issues.

Sleep: has insomnia, PTSD, nightmares, is self deprecating, just wants to go the fuck to sleep

Destroya: probably gay, moans like a bitch during sex, pretty fucking hardcore, shit immune system though, lives for anarchy

House of Wolves:
will burn in hell (or believes they will), is a bad mother fucker, has a sister who should be scared, pyromaniac, “Catholic”

Vampire Money: all over the place, drinks a lot but parties like a beast, has a Bowie obsession, likes driving fast and loud music

Na Na Na: really artistic, pansexual, likes to scream lyrics, rebel at heart, probably still wears bandanas, sunglasses and boots all day every  day, fuck the government

Cancer: is dying, will die, all of your friends will die, actually doesn’t have any friends, really depressed, in pain, martyr

S.I.N.G: activist, owns jeggins, would join an underground gang if they had the balls, likes neon things for some unknown reason

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville: loves zombies, probably owns a Hawaiian   shirt, really quiet and doesn’t talk much, hangs out in shopping centres/malls but never buys anything

Demolition Lovers: is probably part of an underground gang, has to go away for “work” a lot, has a shotgun in the trunk of their car, teal,  unrequited love

Helena: recent death in the family, super fucking dramatic, lots of makeup, always wears black (maybe some red), nail polish is always chipped, imagines/fantasises things that will never happen all the time

Teenagers:
super punk, goes to concerts all the time, will break shit just for fun, has authority issues, probably friends with a lot of delinquents, is a delinquent, doesn’t read books, drinks a lot

Famous Last Words:
is constantly having an existential crisis, really   committed when it comes to relationships, cowboy boots, goes outside at midnight for no reason

I Don’t Love You: always heartbroken, never cuts hair, plays guitar,  goes on road trips when things get difficult, super emotional, cries a lot

I’m Not Okay:
is still in high school, I don’t care if they’re 39  they’re still in high school, hates high school, does stupid shit all  the time because fuck it, high school, is not okay, is friends with  weird people, high school

Mama: PTSD, self deprecating, mama’s boy/girl/person, has a sick sense of humour, laughs manically for no reason, cutthroat

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison: probably gay, went to prison, had a fuck tonne of bitches (I’m kidding, they were actually the  bitch to a fuck tonne of other people), can’t adjust, has issues with  family

Headfirst for Halos: epic, is not okay, always trying to think  positively but is screaming inside, thinks about doing stupid shit all  the time (i.e. Putting a gun to their head)

Vampires Will Never Hurt You: screams a lot, has a vampire fettish, hates Twilight with a passion, has never gone outside, wouldn’t mind dying if I was a wooden stake to the heart, sucks dick

The Ghost of You:
fought in WWII, had a pretty girlfriend, wears round glasses with gold rims, is tall and lanky, has a brother, gets shot in  the chest, screams, dies

The Light Behind Your Eyes: is finding ways to deal with severe depression, cries a bit but quietly, reads a lot of books, all their friends are dead, trying to stay strong despite the fact they’re dying inside, sings like an angel

Give ‘em Hell Kid: lives life fast, probably has killed someone, wears red and like khaki green, shouts a lot, belongs in a 2005 MTV short, lives life on the edge, fatalistic

To The End: has read Dante’s Inferno, is a mafioso, fatalistic, has  probably organised the death of many people, likes to drink cyanide, sleeps a lot, owns diamond jewellery, likes cake

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You: has no faith in life, likes western movies, will yell at you, has  applied for a license to kill, likes to sleep with people (like nap I  mean)

Thank You For The Venom: likes snakes, has probably almost OD’d, hates  the doctors, is stubborn, death obsessed, has probably stabbed someone, wears striped long sleeve t-shirts, hates running, hopes to be shot one day

Hang 'Em High: is death obsessed, clinically insane, screams a lot,  always makes a lot of aesthetic statements about things with black and  white connotations, Catholic, fuck off

It’s Not a Fashion Statement It’s a Fucking Death Wish: swears in front  of their parents, wears their mum’s clothes, is obsessed with killing  enemies, is always predicting their death to be soon.

Cemetery Drive: all too real, has a girlfriend, likes to hang out in  cemeteries, girlfriend has issues and ended her life, now has issues  because of it, drinks a lot, really fucking depressed

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living: is 100% a serial killer, sociopath, also has OCD, scary as shit

The End: is dying, but isn’t too sad, wishes to attend their own funeral  as a ghost, has no self confidence, can’t be fucking bothered growing  up, doesn’t give a shit, is very chill, wears yellow accessories

Dead!: Is dead, is having a party about being dead, wondering if all the  assholes in their life are in hell, no one actually likes them, laughs  at inappropriate moments, is a great dancer

This Is How I Disappear: really fucking dramatic, will be upset and   disappear if you break up with them, dramatic, is a part time satanist, will make a voodoo doll of you if you fuck with them, candles

The Sharpest Lives: goes out late at night, never showers, drinks   heavily, would probably go cannibal if it was legal, always in pain,   lives life on the fucking edge, will burn large objects, has sinus   issues

Disenchanted: is constantly torn, never actually cries, writes books,  likes to take chances, likes birds, got in trouble with the police for  some stupid but really fun shit, friends need to get their shit together  and learn a lesson

Bulletproof Heart: Gravity doesn’t mean to much to them, has self  confidence but not enough to stop running away, runs away a lot, wears  really funky colourful clothing, is very kind but misunderstood

Planetary GO!: goes to a lot of cool night clubs, knows how to fucking  party, is still very punk on the inside, sweats a lot (bc they dance a  lot), jumps up and down for no fucking reason

The Only Hope For Me Is You: is obsessed with being remembered, only has  one friend, is kinda depressed and really needs someone to hold onto,  but is also really questioning life and society, wants to run away to a  more aesthetic place

Party Poison: speaks fluent Japanese (cough I mean Weeaboo), watches a  lot of anime, loves Kpop and Jpop fashion, will party but goes to the  weirdest parties, dyes their hair, fuck the bullshit meaning of life  they do what they want

Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back: is a badass, known for being a  badass, stole your mum’s car and took you on the best date ever, wears a  lot of leather, ready for a fight, probably gets into a lot of fights  anyway, probably once looked like Danny from Greece

SCARECROW: is probably on LSD, smokes a lot of weed, is really chill,  too fucking chill, wears psychedelic t-shirts, is actually a  philosophical genius, reads a lot of poetry

Summertime: they might go outside if it’s summer, listens to music with  headphones on full blast, goes on the train a lot, likes to walk around  listening to music and pretends they’re making the aesthetic parts of  the music video they’re listening to, soft kitty

The Kids From Yesterday: is constantly nostalgic, loves Star Wars and  Queen, always having flashbacks, wears yellow and read things, feels  misunderstood, trying to figure out the meaning of life

Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us: likes Fall Out  Boy when they had long song titles, has issues, a lot of issues, ugly  screams a lot, doesn’t care, wears dark denim jackets, hates this girl  who fucked their brother

Drowning Lessons: has a lot of anxiety, constantly worried, always  running away from problems and situations, can’t swim, always has  regrets, has pink things

Our Lady Of Sorrows: was in a gang once, loves to get into switchblade fights, is really scary and bloodthirsty, believes in pagan gods, but   will protect you, blood blood blood.

Skylines and Turnstiles: saw 9/11 happen, life was changed because of  it, decided that they wanted to be in a band, made a band with brother  and his fren, got some dreadlocked weed smoking fanboy to join, the  drummer is an asshole x3, breaks up after 12 years, deems it to be a  good idea, scared of butane

This Is The Best Day Ever: this is the worst day ever, has no rhythm, is  really confused with what is going in, went to hospital a lot and hated  it, screams a bit, is a bit scared of needles, studded belts, suck dick

Cubicles: will die alone (or at least they think), hates their job, the  only thing that entertains them at work is people gossiping at the water  cooler, is actually having a severe existential crisis

Boy Division: is friends with people who would have a fucking rocking  funeral, stalks school girls, looks dead but only dresses that way,  likes to sing about California, paranoid all the time

Tomorrow’s Money: fell in love with a vampire, slightly aggressive, can  surf, stopped screaming three years ago, wants to be a doctor, hates   people who are thought of as heroes, ruined converses

AMBULANCE: screams in an aesthetically pleasing way, thinks you know  nothing, super weird, goes out after dark, likes to drive big cars,  wouldn’t mind driving, is super reliable even when they let you down

Gun.: was probably conscripted into the military, actually hates   violence and guns, wants to stay at home all the time, likes to call the  shots, owns an old uniform that they’ll never throw out

The World Is Ugly: likes Blade Runner and fairy lights, thinks weird  people are very beautiful, insanely observant of other people’s  behaviours, wears knee high socks and converses, hates the world because  it’s terrible

Kiss The Ring: belongs in an alternate universe where it’s still the  medieval time but rock bands exist, is probably a contract killer, likes  to overthrow the king every five years, has really fucked up logic  about why it’s okay to kill a lot of people, cutthroat

Make Rooom!!!!: probably goes to discos, does not panic at them,  actually has some self confidence but always gets into stupid situations  and flails, wears the tightest pants in the world, wears earrings with  crosses on them

Surrender the Night: constantly lonely, likes to drive long distances to  think, lost a loved one, has cool patches on their jacket, has been to  hospital twice, likes to listen to you, always keeps secrets unless you  fuck with them

Burn Bright
: likes going to the city just to look at all the lights,   walks around and thinks that certain things would look nice on Tumblr,   unstable, can be aggressive, very in tune with their surroundings, kind of a Buddhist

Common People: your average person, always struggling financially, wears  a lot of blue, always falls in love with shallow rich girls for no  reason, really just wants to live however the fuck they want

Every Snowflake Is Different: loves children’s TV shows, goes to the  snow every year, loves winter and hot chocolate, will cry if you take  their toys away, will be a good parent, too busy having fun to give a  fuck

Desolation Row: got beat up at school, is now in a cutthroat gang, spits  a lot, wears a lot of eyeliner, likes Grease but is also super punk  rock, hates wearing underwear, likes to break shit all the time

Desert Song: is recovering from a drug addiction, is still in a really  dark place, trying to stay strong, is questioning the meaning of life,  probably had teal roots at some stage

Black Dragon Fighting Society: drinks juice when they’re killing because  it’s fucking delicious, really likes dragons, reads too much, hates  society, would run away but that would mean no books and no juice so no  fucking way, likes hot pink and black

Zero Percent: hates everyone, would kill everyone, really hates people,  does whatever the fuck they want, will kill everybody, will put zero   effort into school or work, does their own thing.

Mastas of Ravenkroft: worried about growing old, has no self confidence,  will only have sex if the lights are turned off, feels very old at a  very young age because of shitty bones, also has no fucking chill

F.T.W.W.W.:
fuck society, is super digital, but also really retro,   always tells people to kiss their ass, lives in a futuristic society,   likes robots, has a licking fettish, likes to destroy shit, will   probably spit randomly

We Don’t Need Another Song About California: Summertime’s long lost  twin, really doesn’t give a shit about California, but likes the sun,  probably lives in Florida, hates magazines, probably has a fake name,  thinks that nothing matters

All The Angels: is dying, has minutes left, girlfriend has issues   because she’s a little risky, everything has gone wrong, everyone is   upset, probably died three years ago, never went to heaven, likes pretty  flowers and dead things

Romance:
a complete and utter 1800s Romantic, has probably ready  Frankenstein, wants to go on epic journeys, never showers, likes spices,  old fashioned, would probably get into the steampunk fashion thing

Blood: is forever in the 1920s, was a war hero but hates themself,  laughs manically sometimes, has a thing for blood but hates vampires,  90% human wreckage, 23% awful fuck, 8% bad at math, 14% clueless

break the ice, 1

Pairing:  jungkook x reader x jimin
Genre: sports au, hockey player jungkook & jimin, smut, comedy?, slight angst, fluff too :’)
Warnings: thigh riding, sexting, phone sex, pillow riding
Word Count:  18k
Summary:

There are three rules to become an official Puck Bunny:
1.     You have to love hockey. No exceptions.
2.     You have to had slept with at least three hockey players. Starters, no benchwarmers.
3.     And most importantly, have fun!

A/N: i wanted this to be a oneshot but i kept adding and adding more :( …
anyway… enjoy part 1!!

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@thunderboltsortofapenny said: No no let’s do this! Why would steve need to be fake married. Or why would bucky need to be fake married to Steve. We need a reason. #Viper do the thing #It’ll be fun!

So I did the thing, and it’s stupid and terrible, but here, have it:


Bucky’s an EMT. Normal guy, just living his life, trying to help where he can. And then one day, all of a sudden, the aliens are invading NYC, and Bucky’s out there helping, right in the middle of the danger zone because of course he is.

There’s a fight going on, and a bunch of freaks in weird suits seem to be fighting the aliens, but Bucky doesn’t have much time to focus on anything other than all the people in dire need of medical attention. He does what he can to help, grabs the first metal bar he can find and fights only the aliens getting in his way, and works himself to exhaustion. Then there’s a blast, and it sends a man flying right into the wall next to him.

“Hey, you okay?” Bucky asks, rushing to help him, and though Bucky could’ve sworn the blow was hard enough to crush anyone’s ribs, he’s surprised to see the man–who must’ve been on his way to a costume party–stand up practically unscathed.

He’s got broad shoulders and a strong jaw and eyes of the prettiest shade of blue Bucky’s ever seen, and even with his face covered in soot and grime and blood, Bucky’s heart skips a beat.

For a few seconds the man seems a bit disoriented, then he finally registers Bucky’s presence. “What are you doing here?? Get out of the streets!”

“I was–” Bucky starts, and is cut off by an explosion right above their heads and a bunch of debris raining down on them, and a hand shoving him aside.

When he comes to, which is a surprise in itself, the dust has started to clear, and the man who’s clearly saved his life is carrying him as if he weighed nothing, concern in those beautiful eyes and a big, warm hand pressed tenderly against Bucky’s neck, checking for a pulse.

He locks eyes with Bucky and sighs in relief, the hint of a smile on his plush lips, but the hand remains where it is. “Hi,” he says. “You all right?”

“Y-yeah… Thank you,” Bucky replies, but he doesn’t move to free himself of the man’s arms. His stomach is doing something weird, and the man surely has other people to rescue, but for a few seconds they both just stay there, shell-shocked and staring at each other like the world around them has stopped.

Then something blows up nearby, and the spell is broken.

Carefully, the man helps him to his feet, makes sure Bucky’s in one piece, and then says, “Find shelter, okay? Stay inside.”

Bucky’s not planning to, but he can’t find it in him to tell that to this incredible man, so he slowly licks his lips and nods. Before turning around to leave, the man offers him a small, shy smile.

- - - - -

During the next few weeks after the Chitauri attack on NYC, every single piece of footage of the Avengers fighting against the aliens and helping civilians goes viral. Phone videos, security cameras, blurry pics.

The most popular, by far, is a snapshot of Captain America carrying a guy, who can be seen fighting aliens and helping people in other videos, bridal style, thumb caressing his jaw, and both looking like lovestruck teenagers.

Bucky can’t go to the grocery store or even do his job without being stalked by the paparazzi or Cap’s groupies or just random people wanting to know what his Avenger name is, and for how long he’s been dating Captain America.

- - - - -

“You’ve ruined my life!!” Bucky tells him, because of course, of course Captain America would pick Bucky’s park for his morning run. Of course Bucky’d slip on wet leaves on the pavement precisely this morning, and of fucking course Captain America would just happen to be around to catch him at just the right time. Bucky’s seeing red.

“I’m sorry,” Captain America says, and it’s extremely unfair just how genuine and how much like a kicked puppy he looks.

Christ, Bucky wants to punch him.

- - - - -

Steve’s been living in PR hell.

He’s spent the past weeks “saving” girls and boys alike from getting hit by a bicycle, or fainting, or a fuckton of equally stupid shit.

The second anyone spots Captain America, there’ll suddenly be some kind of dangerous situation going down, and someone hoping Cap will carry them bridal style to safety and maybe fall head over heels in love with them in the process.

Steve is tired and done and ready to get back in the ice for another few decades, and shares Pepper’s worries that someone might actually put themself in real danger soon.

“We should handle this before it gets worse,” Nat says. And Steve agrees, of course, but he just doesn’t know how.

“Just marry the guy,” Clint suggests.

Steve almost chokes to death on his own spit.

“WHAT?”

Clint shrugs. “Why not? Half the world already thinks you’re dating…”

“Clint, he hates me…”

“Only cause people keep pestering him about this. If you two get married it’ll be a circus, but then it’ll blow over. He can’t even do his job right now, right? So you pay the guy for the trouble, yadda yadda, then when this is over you two get a quick divorce, and that’s it. Problem solved.”

For two minutes, no one else opens their mouth. Then:

“He’s got a point…”

“Tony, no,” Steve whines.

“You saw the footage, how he was helping those civilians… If you have to marry someone, he’s not a bad candidate,” Nat says, and then smirks. “Plus, he’s cute.”

Steve already knows he’s lost this battle, but that doesn’t help him feel any better about this. Yes, he’s cute. Yes, he’s a brave and kind and smart guy. Yes, Steve could very easily pretend to be married to him for a while and yes it’d help them both. None of that’s the problem.

The problem is that he kind of really likes the guy.

The problem is that the guy hates him.

This is a really, really bad idea.

Scratching the Itch

Square Filled- Friends to lovers

Rating- Explicit

Tags- Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader, smut,

Word Count- 2300ish

A/N: For @spnabobingo. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


Hunting’s a total blast until you hit your heat. In between each cycle, you only know how much fun it is to catch a case, to get on the road and feel the rumble of Dean’s car beneath you, all open windows and loud music. The fights are always rough, but in the way that makes you feel strong, in a way that makes your muscles ache with anticipation just to think about it. And of course, there’s the feeling of knowing that you saved someone, that you stopped one small little evil and left the world a little better for it.

But then your heat hits, and you remember. Hunting is not ideal for an Omega.

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Cheerleading IS a sport | JJ

Request: a dom!jungkook smut when y/n is a cheerleader and he is like the player of the sport and yeah they could like have the fun in the changing room~

Pairing: Dom!Jungkook, Football!Jungkook X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Y/n, best flyer on the cheerleading squad. Jungkook, best kicker and scorer on the football team. What will happen when things get heated between the two all because of something that he just spilled out of his mouth.

Genre: Smut, Angst, Smut

Warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, Dominant!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, hospital handjob, cocky asshole Jungkook

Word Count: 3k+

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A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings
  • Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water
  • Grover Underwood
  • Just everything he’s ever done
  • Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 
  • “I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
  • When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch
  • Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy
  • That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 
  • When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps
  • The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 
  • The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom
  • Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn
  • Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me
  • You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here
  • Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke
  • When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him
  • The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny
  • The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children
  • Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’
  • The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg
  • Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles
  • “the real world is where the monsters are” 
  • The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.
  • When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic™ after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out
  • When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 
  • Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 
  • Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God
  • Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 
  • IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY
  • lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows
  • When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing
  • The entire bus scene oh my God
  • “I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS
  • Annabeth on a fury’s back 
  • the explosion. just. all gr8. 
  • When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 
  • “You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr’s don’t even get migraines!” 
  • Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 
  • Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave
  • Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d
  • Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????
  • When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS
  • When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too
  • Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 
  • When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 
  • “Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”
  • Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 
  • When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 
  • “I am Echidna!”
  • “Isn’t…isn’t that a type of anteater?”
  • I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 
  • How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 
  • ‘Lemme just, uh….jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’
  • There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 
  • Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg
  • THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE
  • Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao
  • Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then…touched it herself lol
  • The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 
  • Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 
  • Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol
  • Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 
  • THE FUCKING ZOO BUS
  • Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t
  • “What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”
  • “I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”
  • “Why?”
  • “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”
  • Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much
  • ‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 
  • “I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”
  • “Why can’t you put on of those on us?”
  • “It only works on wild animals.”
  • “So it would only effect Percy…”
  • “HEY!” 
  • When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx
  • Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters
  • When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao
  • Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol
  • CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 
  • Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t
  • The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it
  • “We, uh…all drowned in a bathtub.”
  • Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 
  • Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 
  • Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 
  • ‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 
  • When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with
  • “what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y
  • when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 
  • When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 
  • My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 
  • ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover…I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM
  • My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 
  • The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 
  • Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 
  • Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 
  • Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-
  • Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX
  • Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does
  • Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 
  • A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 
  • Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like…Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you
  • ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something…is Wrong.” this boy I s2g
  • Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 
  • Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 
  • I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 
  • whoops
My Life as a Cartoon Network Intern (and how I think you can Intern in Animation too!)

Over this past summer, I was given the amazing opportunity to be a Production Intern at Cartoon Network (I worked on Clarence; woo!)

Every once in a while I get people who either come up to me in person, or who message me on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram etc. and ask me how I got the opportunity, and how they can intern in animation as well. Recently (Over the course of the last week or so) I’ve been asked a bunch, so I decided to create this massive master post in an attempt to get the information out to as many artists (and non-artists) as possible! 

I know a lot of people who feel like getting into the animation industry is completely impossible, (I should know, I felt the exact same way not too long ago) and I also know just how LITTLE references there actually are on finding an internship, and beyond that, the type of experiences that people who gotten the chance to intern have had. I told myself that if I got the internship, I would try to change that, and here we are! (A little late, but I really want to make this as helpful as possible)

If you all could please Reblog this to your followers I would love it! You never know who’s looking and hopefully, I can help people with my experiences! 

So to make it easier for people who don’t have the time to read all of my ramblings, AND for the sake of ease/reference; I’m going to break this post up into different sections: My Internship search My initial excitement/rejections - How I got the internship - My experience as an Intern and How Interning has helped me as an artist

My Internship search: 

Halfway through last year (My Sophomore year of college) I had decided that I would take a leap of faith and apply for some internships. I didn’t expect much of it, but my hopes were high because I thought I had at least a halfway decent portfolio, and my resume had some pretty okay animation experience on it (I’m the head of the only Animation organization on campus) and I’m majoring in animation so I had some 3D experience and 2D experience (which I’ve worked on on my own time, since it’s what I want to do) 

One of my biggest worries was the fact that I go to a state school: Southern Illinois University. The school is great, and I love it there, but I couldn’t afford art school, so I was very worried about how many opportunities there would be for me in Southern Illinois. Especially with the amount of amazing art that I see coming from people who go to schools like CalArs, Sheridan and the like. I was frustrated because I wasn’t there and felt like I would never get the opportunity to work in animation, which has been my dream since I could hold a pencil. Cartoons have changed my life, and they still do; but I was genuinely afraid that because I couldn’t afford a more art-related education, that I wouldn’t get the opportunity to tell stories like I’ve always dreamed. (But I digress) 

As I was saying: I was doing all of your standard (I want/need a job) searches to try to find something in animation: Glassdoor, Internships.com, JOBS.com; stuff like that. FUN FACT: I’ve read every single Glassdoor review for both Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. Every Job. All of them.

Some internships are a lot easier to find: Nickelodeon, Disney, Titmouse

While some are WAAAAAY more elusive: Cartoon Network… 

This narrowed my search down from a bunch of animation studios.. to a handful. My candidates were: Nickelodeon, Dreamworks and Titmouse. (All wonderful animation studios!) Now here’s where it gets interesting:

 My initial excitement/Rejections:

I didn’t hear back from any of them! NOT ONE. Which I learned after a very long, VERY stressful waiting period. (At this time it was early to mid April) Now; I knew that I was really too young to be applying for the internships, (I’m young for my grade so I was 19 at the time) And I knew that all of these internships specified that they wanted a Junior or above, but I figured since the year was almost over and I had good grades that MAYBE, they would let me slide. But I had no real experience working in animation, and although my hopes were high, they were also reeeeeeeal low. 

After waiting for the few weeks that I did, and not hearing a peep, I was dejected, frustrated, and I felt like there was no hope for me… Which leads us to…

HOW I GOT THE INTERNSHIP: 

When it comes to how I actually GOT the job: The answer I want to give you guys is that it was complete luck, and that by a series of random occurrences, somehow I was offered the position…. BUT, that’s only half true. Honestly, I worked really hard on making sure that I had as good a résumé as I possibly could: 

By that, I mean that I’ve worked really hard in school to get good grades/dean’s list/honors program, etc.; and I also started an animation organization on campus. (There’s a major, but there was a huge lack of enthusiasm and community within the program at SIU so I wanted to help to bring other artists and myself closer, and make great art while we’re at it) 

On top of that, I wrote (what I think was) a really good cover letter. But… Even with all three of those things, I don’t know if I would have gotten the position if it wasn’t for the internship coordinator at my school. I go to Southern Illinois University, and she pointed me in the direction of the Cartoon Network internship. (The Turner website isn’t like Nickelodeon, they only post internships when there’s a position to be filled)

LUCKILY for me, the Producer of Clarence (The wonderful Keith Mack) is an alum from SIU, so he connected with the internship coordinator (bless her heart) and I learned exactly when the position opened up. My resume and things got sent straight to him. I got a Skype interview a couple of weeks later, and I got accepted the day of the interview!

So I mean… Looking back, it was half luck, half hard work. 

It’s not like the grades and stuff really matter outside of college; Grades are just arbitrary letters, after all. But, I say that to say that I’ve tried to work hard in college even though I’m not at an art school, and that if you’re focused, it doesn’t really matter WHAT you’re good at; but how hard you work and the type of person you are. You can never go to college but be an amazing artist and an amazing person, and if you meet that ONE right person, or if you’re at that ONE correct place at the correct time; amazing things can happen; and I FIRMLY believe that. 

While I was at CN I was talking to someone (I don’t know if it’s best to call her out by name?..) But anyway she was telling me about how some of the artists are found at CN and she told me that Tumblr, YES TUMBLR. Is a HUUUUUUUUGE factor in the hiring of some people! So if you can… POST POST POST! Putting your art out there is the absolute best way to get seen. You NEVER know who’s looking at your artwork, and this website is an amazing platform for sharing, and learning about art. (And as a shameless plug: The blog Artists-Everyday is actually meant for just that ;) check it ouuuuut)

But moving forward; let’s talk about: 

THE INTERVIEW:

The interview to be an intern at CN was both really intimidating, and really comfortable at the same time. I love animation pretty much more than anything, so the idea that a single interview could determine whether or not I got a life-changing opportunity was pretty much one of the most daunting things that I could think of. The fact that I was in southern Illinois RIGHT at the time that I would have had to interview really didn’t help either… It was really scary to me, because it meant that I wasn’t going to be able to interview in person. It was a Skype interview, (a group one at that) and it was my first time ever interviewing for a position online. 

Once I got past all of the initial fear, the interview was smooth sailing. They had already seen my resume and cover letter; so we really just spent a lot of time talking about casual things: my favorite animated movie, what my favorite episode of Clarence was, etc. It wasn’t like your usual interview where they ask “why would we hire you” or “what is your greatest weakness” and I really appreciated that. They weren’t robots, they weren’t the ANIMATION GODS like I was imagining in my head – they were actual people, who happen to love animation, and the interview reflected that. 

I learned that I had gotten the position the day that I interviewed, and I’m SO GLAD I didn’t have to wait any more days, because at that point I was on fire on the inside. II don’t know what the hiring process was like for interns on different shows, so don’t take my word for how long it’ll take if you make it this far) 


MY EXPERIENCE AS AN INTERN/HOW IT’S HELPED ME AS AN ARTIST:

There is no one word to describe how amazing it is to work at Cartoon Network. A lot of CN stuff is “hush hush” high security, and they don’t allow you to take pictures of the inside of the buildings - So I’m not going to say much, other than: It’s magic. Pure magic. But I will say one thing: Free food. AT ALL TIMES. EVERY DAY. 

Working there is one of the most creatively satisfying things I’ve ever done in my life. The people, the atmosphere… it was all so inspiring. I’ve learned more in those past three months than I have in the last two years, and It’s all because I was surrounded by so many people who are better than me. People, who I might add, are some of the greatest, nicest, and most helpful people I’ve met in a long time. Plus, Cartoon Network really goes out on a limb to take care of their employees. 

I got to sit in on voice actors doing their recordings, I got to see storyboard pitches, I got to see animatics and assets for episodes that were unaired, and it was all being created right in front of me by such PASSIONATE people. 

I EVEN GOT TO MEET TOM KENNY. He remembered my name… 

As a production intern you get to see the logistic side of things: and you really grow to appreciate Production and that side of the industry, because without the production team, there would be no show! Even though I want to be a storyboard artist, I now know more about the industry and Cartoon Network as a whole, and it makes me feel much more connected to the shows that I watch on television.

One of the other biggest things about the program is the fact that I got to take storyboard/character design tests for practice, and I got the chance to pitch a show to the studio, in front of the Clarence Crew and even some really important executives! which was an AMAZING opportunity that I learned a TON from. I got amazing feedback, and I had to push myself harder than I’ve ever pushed myself before. Mentally, artistically, and personally. 


IN CONCLUSION

It’s possible. Being an intern at an animation studio is possible. Getting a job in animation is possible. Making friends in animation, and actually feeling like you belong to something you’ve dreamed about since you were a child is POSSIBLE. It doesn’t matter where you go to school, it doesn’t matter if you’re afraid, and it doesn’t matter what you look like. People are drawn to people who are genuine; and if you love animation, or production, or storyboarding or character design, and you work hard and try to really open yourself up artistically; you CAN do it. Take it from the 20 year old black guy who loves anime, video games and cartoons. You can do it. 


I don’t know how many people will see this or how helpful it actually is; but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free to share this info with your followers, and on top of that if you guys EVER have any questions about my experiences or need me to clarify anything for ANY reason you’re absolutely welcome to contact me! 

I know how many people would love to intern, and I know (from experience) how DREADFUL It is to find conducive information about how the process works and how YOU can get an internship. 

Hope you guys stuck with this post till the end, and like I said if you ever have any more questions, (hell, or if you even want to share YOUR art with me… I’m always open!) 

TL;DR:                  This Gif Sums it Up 

-Sean 

The Name Game

The Name Game (m)

Word count: 3.1k

Genre/warning: smut, literally no plot - I legit was having some Tae feels and wanted a dirty talk, fuckboy one shot. So this is the result.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You invite some of your friends over for a small party. When a tame night in turns into a dirty one. Your friend Hoseok comes up with a fun game for you all to participate in.

You were rushing around your house getting everything ready at the last possible second. It was only some of your closest friends coming over but you still wanted the house to look good. Especially if Taehyung might show up. He said he had to work but he would try and get his shift covered. You felt like such a teenager but you really did have such a big thing for him.

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Prompt: Date Night!

It’s Fanfic Sunday! (Monday whoops, ran a little late because I got carried away with the writing) Prompt is Formal Event + aquarium date, suggested by an anon and the discord chat! <3 Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy the read! Will try to do the other prompts next time! Read it under read more!

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Cinderella

Summary: After waking up in the morning finding out you had a one night stand with someone you don’t even know…you rush out as quickly as possible…too bad you forgot your cell phone.

Pairing: Jeon Jeong-guk (Jungkook) / Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 2k

A/N: extremely Mature rating

Part 2 | Part 3Masterlist

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restingbitchfaceisnotsadface  asked:

"I can start with how I went to marine science camp as a kid and end with that time I accidentally brought a flamethrower into the county courthouse" --- PLEASE EXPLAIN IM SO CONFUSED D:

So, when I was a kid, my parents worked full time, so during the summer, my sister and I were enrolled in day-camp so we’d be adequately tired when we got home, and my FAVORITE  camp was Marine Science Camp, run by MSI on the banks of redwood creek, right off the San Francisco bay.  It was AWESOME: we got to dissect squid, there was a literal shark tank, which we got to fish leopard sharks out of and Tag Them For Scientific Research, ad we’d go out on the boat once a week and do things like haul a net full of fish out, use a scoop to study benthic creatures and look at plankton under a microscope.  I realize now we were essentially doing transects, dissections and other field/lab work for a bunch of grad students but it was FUN.  

I totally wanted to be a marine biologist when I grew up and would tell anyone who asked me what I was into about nematocyts and oceanic acidification until The Adult realized their mistake and fled.

At the same time, I was pursing an aggressive interest in the visual arts, which my parents heavily encouraged, becuase they are excellent parents and because it;s was a QUIET hobby unlikely to result in bodily harm, unlike my sister, who got into karate and Theater, which is a surprising dangerous combination.

But then i got to college and realized an issue with this plan: I, hands down, SUCK at chemistry.  I did okay in into becuase I’m great at taking standardized tests, and the teacher got suspended halfway through the semester for getting into a fistfight with another prof for poaching his grad student, but Organic Chemistry was a disaster.  I’ve never been good at arithmetic, and balancing chemical equations is something i need the dang molecule models for. So marine bio was a No-Go.

So I switched my major over to Art, which turned out to be kind of a disaster (the school managed to lose an entire semester of my grades because the Art Department kept really sloppy records and i ended up dropping out and resuming college elsewhere) and AMAZING, becuase I took a human figure drawing course with professor [REDACTED] who announced on the third day of class:  “SWEET THE FOOLS JUST GAVE ME TENURE.  CAN’T FIRE ME NOW, SO LEMME SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A FLAMETHROWER”

The thing she actually taught us was how to modify a culinary butane torch to empty the canister at a much higher rate than any manufacturer anywhere recommends, which gives you and AWESOME bigass jet of blue flame, but only lasts about 30 seconds per container.  She also showed us how to make bandeliers so we could carry multiple containers, “just in case”.

In more practical lessons, we were in class when the first gov’t shutdown happened, so we didn’t have money for models, so she oped to bring in various animals for us to draw instead.  there was the usual cats and dogs, but also chickens, horses, a farm hog, a 12-foot Burmese Python and a baby deer that had been abandoned on her porch.  It was really fun, both becuase animals are amazing, and becuase they don’t hold still, so you learn to draw REAL FAST, which is a skill that’s served me well since.

A few years later, I was summoned for Jury Duty, and had to show up at the courthouse for selection.  HOWEVER, I’d put my usual bag in the wash the previous night, so I grabbed my old school backpack to take with me because I knew I had a sketchbook in there to amuse myself with.

I forgot I also had my flamethrower in there.

I live in a pretty low-crime area, so the metal detectors are actually pretty far into the building- you don’t get scanned until you’re actually going into the courtroom.  So for about three hours beforehand, I was sitting in the hallway having a Nice Chat with one of the state park rangers and the CEO of the local call center.  We get called in, and as we walk through, my backpack sets off the alarm.

“Fuck.” I say abruptly remembering what would have set it off.

“Do you have anything metal in your backpack?” the security guy asks me.  I think he was expecting me to say glasses.

“I forgot that I have my flamethrower in here. I’ll just leave this outside.”  I explain, hoping I’m not about to be arrested.

“Please open your bag or leave it outs- your WHAT?”  Dude stops halfway through his routine.

“Flamethrower.  I made it in art class and will definitely be leaving it here.” I say, carefully putting my bag on the table, zipper open , and pointing at the small butane torch.  The guard looks at it, looks at me (pls note, I am small, white, feminine and conventionally attractive so YOU BET privilege was happening here), before deciding that Art People Are Dumb and waving me in after wanding me to make sure I hadn’t accidentally brought anything else in my pockets.

I was not selected for jury duty.

In other news, I still have it, and it still works.  I use it for mass-toasting creme brulee.

anonymous asked:

Hi~! Could I request for HC or scenario where MC asks RFA + V and Saeran to pretend to be their SO for Valentines day (Meet the friends/parents etc.) and how they would react and act during their fake date? lololol

This got pretty long. Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Yoosung:

  • you call him up desperately, telling him your friends have invited you to go out with them on Valentine’s day
  • at first he doesn’t see the problem, but then you explain that they’re all couples
  • you ask him if he’d be okay with pretending to be your boyfriend just for a few hours because you don’t want to feel alone or to get made fun of
  • he’s extremely flustered but agrees to it
  • oh boy is he nervous
  • he really wants to impress your friends and have a good day with you, because he hopes that perhaps if it goes well enough, he can admit his feelings for you….
  • INTERNAL SCREAMING
  • he spends hours preparing, but tries to make it look like he hasn’t
  • he opts for not wearing his hairclips and tries smoothing his hair down as best as he can it doesn’t really work
  • he comes to your doorstep with a bouquet of roses
  • “I-I figured if we’re gonna do this, we should do it properly…?”
  • poor boy is red as a tomato, but you giggle and take the roses
  • when you head to the meeting spot with your friends, they’re already there
  • without thinking, you reach out and grab his hand, lacing your fingers together
  • he is begging himself to just c h i l l
  • he doesn’t remember any of your friends’ names because he’s too caught up in the fact you’re actually holding his hand holy shit
  • you guys go see a movie, and throughout the entire thing he’s trying to work up the courage to reach out and hold your hand again
  • but it’s a romance movie… would that be weird…?
  • oh god he’s overthinking everything
  • eventually the movie ends and he hasn’t worked up the nerve
  • he’s kind of mad at himself
  • your friends all want to go off and do their own thing as couples now, so one of your friends asks you guys what you’re planning on doing for the rest of the day
  • “oh… uh…” Yoosung stammers and blushes like crazy
  • your friends wiggle their eyebrows at you both like oh I see
  • which makes Yoosung blush even harder and get even more flustered
  • he walks you back home because he’s a goddamn gentleman, fake date or not
  • and when you’re standing on the doorstep, he’s not quite sure what to do
  • “I had a really good day” he blurts out
  • “Me too, I think you were pretty believable in your feelings for me! I almost believed it” hahahahahaha Yoosung please get the hint
  • he really wants to kiss you right now, but he’s not sure if the flirty vibes he’s picking up from you are actually just him being hopeful
  • he decides to take a risk
  • “I know this was a fake date and everything, but… I was just wondering if it would be okay if I… kiss you?” he’s stammering and blushing and speaking really fast, and part of him hopes you didn’t understand what he said
  • so when you agree, he’s over the moon
  • “it’s Valentine’s day, after all”
  • he leans in and kisses you softly, trying not to show how much he doesn’t want to stop
  • you say your goodbyes and he heads home
  • as soon as he’s out of sight he fist-pumps and does a little victory dance, which earns him a lot of weird looks from passers by
  • but he couldn’t care less

Zen:

  • when you call him up and tell him your friends are all going on group outing on Valentine’s, and were making fun of you for being alone on Valentine’s Day, he wouldn’t even wait for you to ask, he’d just straight up volunteer
  • this is his chance he’s not gonna miss it
  • he takes it right in his stride and doesn’t appear flustered at all, even if he’s screaming a little on the inside
  • he’s an absolute gentleman, and as soon as he gets to your door he takes your hand and kisses it
  • he claims that because he’s an actor, he’s just immersing himself in the role but he actually just really likes you
  • he’s bought you some chocolates in a heart-shaped box which make you blush like crazy
  • he reaches out to hold your hand as you head to see your friends
  • he absolutely loves this pretense, because it gives him an excuse to do everything he’s wanted to do for such a long time but without it seeming weird
  • as soon as he meets your friends, they’re instantly charmed
  • wow shit is that guy even real ??
  • turns out you guys are going out for a joint romantic meal
  • and Zen is gentleman to the extreme, holding open doors and pulling out your chair for you to the point where it’s like jeez Zen tone it down a little
  • you draw the line when he offers to feed you your food
  • you’re starting to feel like he’s taking the piss, but honestly it’s kind of funny, so you’re giggling a lot which makes his heart leap
  • he loves making you laugh
  • and he wants to make a good impression to your friends, even if he’s pretty confident they like him already
  • he walks you back home afterwards, still holding your hand because “the act hasn’t finished yet”
  • you reach your door and just as your about to open it, he clears his throat
  • you turn around to look at him, and suddenly that confident air has gone and his cheeks are slightly pink and he’s refusing to make eye contact
  • you ask him what’s wrong
  • “I really liked spending Valentine’s day with you” he murmurs, looking at his feet in embarrassment
  • you’ve never seen him so flustered
  • “Oh…” you don’t really know what else to say
  • he eventually looks back up at you “I was wondering if we’d be able to… keep up the act for a few more seconds so I can… kiss you…?”
  • you nod, barely able to believe it
  • he leans in and gently presses his lips against yours, cupping your face in his hands
  • it’s so soft and sweet at totally takes you by surprise
  • eventually he pulls back and is even more flustered than before
  • “Sorry… I, uh, I just… I’ll see you around” he hurries away
  • “Zen!” you call after him, and he turns around nervously, not knowing what you’re going to say. “Call me.”
  • that’s all the confirmation he needs to rush back to you and kiss you again

Jaehee:

  • you call her up one day, a little hysterical, and so she has to help you calm down before she can figure out what’s wrong
  • you tell her that your family have arranged a get-together on Valentine’s day and you can’t bear to sit around while they repeatedly ask why you’re single
  • so, you ask her if she’ll pretend to be your girlfriend, just for a little while to get them off your back
  • she’s impossibly flustered
  • she’s never been in a situation like this before, so she’s not quite sure how to react
  • she thought things like this only happened in movies?
  • but she agrees anyway
  • she’s so nervous, and even though she knows it’s not real, she spends hours getting ready
  • she drinks roughly 8 cups of coffee, which does not help with her nerves
  • big mistake
  • as soon as it’s time, she heads over to your place to pick you up
  • for a moment, she’s blown away by how beautiful you look
  • she knows you always looks beautiful, but today it hits her more than usual because she has to pretend to be your girlfriend oh god
  • she’s brought you a homemade cake that she won’t admit took her four attempts to get perfect
  • you put the cake away and head to your parents’ house
  • she’s so nervous
  • your entire family seems to be here
  • she had no idea families did this kind of thing
  • your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins… the house is full
  • you never leave her side, and she grips hold of your hand the entire time
  • partly for the act, partly for comfort, mostly just because now she has an excuse
  • naturally, she gets bombarded by nosy family members about her career and intentions towards you
  • she tries her best to keep calm and give the right kinds of answers, but she constantly feels like she’s messing up
  • eventually you can tell she’s starting to get really stressed out as your great aunt drills her about exactly what she’s planning on doing with her life, so you quickly tell everyone it’s time for the two of you to leave because you have plans
  • as soon as you get out the house, you hug her
  • she’s nervous - what if your family sees you?? but then she remembers you’re supposed to be pretending to date anyway
  • she apologises for messing up so badly and you just pull back like
  • what ???
  • she was amazing in there? she put up with all your family’s shit and barely tripped up at all
  • you tell her how amazing she was, and she blushes and shakes her head nervously
  • you smile at her, “walk me home?”
  • you head back to your house and once you’re standing outside the door she’s ready to say goodbye
  • “You know, that cake isn’t going to eat itself” you say casually
  • “Oh, but I… I couldn’t eat it! it’s for you!”
  • you insist on it until she finally agrees to come inside and have a small piece
  • you’re sitting on your sofa eating the cake and she murmurs
  • “I had a really lovely day today, even if it was a little overwhelming”
  • “I did too” you agree
  • she looks up at you for a moment, and barely knows what she’s doing before she’s leaned in to kiss you
  • just as she’s about to pull away and apologise, she feels your arms wrap around her to pull her closer
  • so she allows herself to get lost in the kiss
  • Jaehee has never really been interested in Valentine’s day, but it’s quickly become her favourite day of the year

Jumin:

  • you’re nervous to ask Jumin, because you highly expect he’ll just say Valentine’s day is a meaningless day which symbolises nothing but capitalist consumerism
  • but you have a huge crush on him so you do it anyway
  • when you call him up and mention Valentine’s day, the other end of the line goes quiet
  • you tell him your family are all coming over on Valentine’s day, and you really can’t stand these yearly gatherings that they use as an excuse to harass you about being single
  • after he’s over the initial shock, he agrees surprisingly quickly and you’re just like…oh okay?!
  • when the day arrives he’s nervous, which in itself is strange because he’s never felt quite like this before
  • he knows he gets butterflies around you, but he’s never felt like this
  • he desperately wants to impress your family
  • he shows up at your house earlier than expected, because he wants to arrive before your family do
  • he holds out a small box for you
  • “I thought that, considering I’m technically your date, I should get you something in case your family ask about it”
  • you open the box and inside is a silver heart shaped locket with a…
  • wait Jumin is that a real diamond??
  • you turn around and he puts it on you, trying to stop his fingers shaking while simultaneously trying to touch the skin of your neck as much as possible, enjoying how you shiver at the touch
  • when your family arrive, he turns on his charm
  • they love him
  • you can barely even tell he’s nervous from the way he’s so smooth and confident, answering every question fired his way with surprising ease
  • he takes everything in his stride even when your grandmother asks him whether you guys have ‘made love’ yet oh boy
  • eventually, your family leave
  • almost everyone individually tells you how lovely Jumin is, and how good you guys look together and what a good couple you make
  • you’re just like h a h a I wish
  • when you head back to see him, he looks exhausted
  • “I’m so sorry about all that” you immediately feel the need to apologise. there’s no way he needed to do this at all. you sit next to him, “They really liked you, though”
  • “Really?” he asks, seeming strangely surprised. you nod, and he lets out a breath “I’m glad”
  • you’re not quite sure how to respond, so you sit there in silence for a moment
  • “You look beautiful” he says suddenly, and you look over at him, shocked
  • “Oh… uh, thank you”
  • he reaches out with his hand and strokes your jaw gently
  • “I hope you wouldn’t mind if I…” he trails off and starts leaning towards you
  • oh
  • you respond by leaning in and your lips meet in the middle
  • he’s so soft and tender, which is a side of him you’ve never seen before
  • when he pulls back he says “I would very much like to do that more often, if you would agree to it?”
  • you nod a little breathlessly and he leans in to kiss you again
  • he now understands why people like Valentine’s day so much

707:

  • one day you call him while you’re kind of freaking out
  • once you manage to calm down, you explain to him that your family are having this ‘Valentine’s get-together’ and your grandma kept asking you if you had anyone to bring and you had blurted out ‘yes’ without really thinking about it
  • when you ask him if he’s willing to pretend to be your boyfriend, he’s not quite sure how to react
  • his brain just kind of goes !!!!!!!
  • “It’s only for one day! please, Seven…”
  • okay wow he wouldn’t have expected you to ask him, so he agrees to it
  • “God 707, swooping in to save the day!!!”
  • he’s actually super nervous beforehand
  • even though he knows it isn’t real, his brain is treating it as though it is
  • he desperately tries to prepare his ‘707′ persona so he can hopefully be a little more carefree, but it’s surprisingly difficult today
  • he drives to your house in his favourite babe to pick you up he’s highkey hoping to impress your family with his car
  • when you open the door he bows ridiculously low, holding out a…
  • “Seven, is that a teddy bear?”
  • he hands it to you while grinning and screaming inside oh god why am I such an idiot 
  • it’s a small, brown bear holding a red heart in its paws which has “I love you” written on it
  • he treats it like a joke, telling you to squeeze it
  • you squeeze the heart, and Seven’s voice comes out saying, “Honey, I love you~”
  • he tries to hide how embarrassed he is
  • it’s just a joke it’s just a joke it’s just a joke it’s not a joke
  • he drives you to your grandparent’s house where this is being held
  • when you ask him how he knows where they live he just…
  • oops
  • anyway, you guys head inside, and naturally he instantly gets bombarded with questions and comments about his car, which he is more than happy to talk about
  • whenever someone asks him about how he can afford that at his age he just laughs and brushes it off, saying “If I told you, I’d have to kill you” and things like that
  • he’s really worried he’s coming across as stupid with his weird jokes, but he can’t seem to stop them once they’ve started
  • luckily, you overhear a few family members talking quietly in the kitchen about what a nice guy he is
  • he seems to charm all your female and male relatives to the point where you have to drag him away and tell him to behave because your grandma is 87 years old and married god dammit
  • eventually you both manage to escape the clutches of your family and leave
  • as soon as you’re in the car and out of sight of the house he lets out the biggest sigh ever
  • “Wow, that took a lot out of me.”
  • “Thank you so much for doing that for me. You really didn’t have to.”
  • “No… it’s okay, I actually kind of enjoyed it,” he grins at you, “Kind of sad I didn’t get your grandma’s number.”
  • “She doesn’t have a damn phone”
  • he drops you off at your house and insists on walking you to the door
  • “I really did have a good day. Your family are really nice” he tells you, smiling nervously
  • you decide to invite him inside for a little while, but he declines
  • “I have to pay you back for everything you’ve done!” you insist, “At least let me get you some food or something!”
  • he has a sudden bust of confidence “How about you pay me back… with a kiss? And a promise for a second date”
  • he’s staring at you to gauge your reaction and figure out whether to play this off as a joke
  • but when you blush and stammer, looking down at your feet and nodding, he feels his heart soar
  • he steps towards you, gently taking your hand in his, and you look up at him and he kisses you softly
  • when he pulls back both of you are pretty flustered, but he tries covering it up by smiling and saying “You still owe me a second date, though,” to which you nod enthusiastically and smile back
  • as soon as he gets into his car and is out of sight, he starts laughing almost hysterically and his body shakes with excitement at what just happened
  • he’s never felt as happy as he does right now

Saeran:

  • he’s surprised, to say the least, when he gets a call from you the day before Valentine’s day
  • you frantically tell him the story of how your friends have invited you over on Valentine’s day, he doesn’t see the problem
  • but then you tell him you may have accidentally told them you have a boyfriend, so would he be willing to pretend to be that boyfriend just for the day?
  • firstly, he’ll call you an idiot
  • but then he’ll face the internal conflict of “damn, I really like them and want to do this” and “large crowds of strangers h a h a no”
  • eventually he agrees and wow you’re pretty surprised because you weren’t really expecting him to
  • little do you know that as soon as you guys hang up the phone, he’s straight on his computer researching what people are supposed to even do on Valentine’s day
  • he doesn’t have much time to make a big romantic gesture, and quite frankly he doesn’t really want to because it seems way too much
  • his palms are sweating like crazy as he’s heading to your house, and he’s trying to tell himself to calm down
  • you open up the door and he doesn’t even look you in the eye, he just holds out a single, red rose for you to take
  • “Happy Valentine’s Day” he mumbles, and his cheeks are a little pink with embarrassment
  • you don’t call him out on it
  • you head over to your friend’s house, and find that everyone’s already there
  • he gets really anxious all of a sudden, and reaches out to grab your hand without really thinking about it
  • when you look at him in surprise he tries to play it off as ‘being in character’
  • you do most of the talking, and try directing the conversation away from Saeran as much as you possibly can because you can tell it’s making him uncomfortable
  • he doesn’t let go of your hand the entire time
  • he feels like he’s fucking up really badly, but he can’t bring himself to get involved in the conversation properly
  • little does he know, your friends actually really like him
  • he comes across a little cold, but they tell you in hushed tones as you’re about to leave that they can tell how much he genuinely cares about you
  • you’re kind of like ????
  • you don’t really expect him to walk you home, so you’re surprised when he keeps walking past his road to head to your house
  • you’re still holding hands, and you’re both too nervous to let go also neither of you actually want to
  • when you reach the doorstep he doesn’t make eye contact, he just quickly drops your hand and says goodbye before turning around and walking away
  • you call after him and he turns back around, confused
  • you walk over to him and gently wrap your arms around his shoulders
  • “Thank you.”
  • it takes him a moment to respond, but then he slowly wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer
  • after a little while, you pull back and look at each other for a moment
  • he blurts out “Will you go on another date with me?”
  • he blushes and looks down, before murmuring “A real one, I mean”
  • you can barely believe it
  • “Of course!”
  • you carefully kiss him on the cheek and he blushes even harder
  • he responds by kissing you quickly on the cheek too
  • as he’s walking back home, he can feel his cheek tingling where your lips touched it
  • and he feels a genuine smile cross his face for the first time in a long time

V:

  • you call him up one day, and when you tell him you accidentally told your parents you have a boyfriend to bring to their Valentine’s celebration, he laughs
  • no V this is serious
  • he doesn’t need to think twice about agreeing to pretend to be your boyfriend
  • he’s a little nervous though… he doesn’t think he’s the best person for the job, but he’s honoured you asked him
  • he feels as though he should get you something, just to keep up the façade sure V
  • he reaches your door and bows his head, handing you his gift
  • you just stare at it for a moment
  • it’s a charm bracelet you’d commented was pretty once when you’d gone out into town together
  • and he’s even given you a small, camera charm
  • “To remind you of me” he jokes he’s not joking
  • it’s possibly the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever got you
  • this is a fake date…right?
  • not that you’d mind if it were real
  • he holds out his hand, pretending he needs help because of his sight, but he actually just really wants to hold your hand
  • you head to your parents’ house, and he’s trying desperately not to lose his cool
  • when you arrive, your family are instantly charmed
  • they adore him right from the start, and he just seems to fit in so easily
  • you barely even need to worry about leaving him alone in a room with them for a few moments while you go to the bathroom or talk to someone else
  • he’s just really good with people
  • eventually, you leave and your parents make both of you promise you’ll visit again soon
  • as you’re walking back, he holds your hand again
  • “Thank you so much for doing that,” you tell him, and he shakes his head
  • “It was my pleasure. Your family are lovely.”
  • you reach your house again, and your heart is racing
  • so is his
  • you turn to face him and he thanks the lord he wears his glasses, because there’s no way he would be able to maintain his composure and keep eye contact with you
  • “I had a really good day,” you tell him, and he nods.
  • “As did I.”
  • you’re still holding hands, and he squeezes it gently
  • “I don’t suppose…” he stammers for a moment, “Would you mind if I end this day with a kiss?”
  • you don’t reply for a second and he’s like shit did I cross the line?
  • that is, until he feels you shuffling closer to him
  • he leans into you, and your lips meet, taking your breath away
  • he gently cups your face in his free hand, and finally pulls back when he feels as though he wouldn’t be able to control himself any longer
  • “Thank you,” he whispers, “I’ll see you soon?”
  • “Yes,” you whisper
  • he heads back home with the biggest smile on his face
  • Valentine’s Day has never been something he’s enjoyed all that much, but now it has a whole new meaning
bitty dates anonther falconer au
  • so the graduation kiss doesn’t happen
  • and bitty tries to move on and jack goes onto join the falconers
  • and there’s some falcs family get-together early on in the pre-season and bob and alicia can’t make it for Reasons
  • so jack invites his other family
  • which – is sort of a terrible idea bc Tater’s flying solo so he adopts Ransom and Holster and shenanigans happen immediately
  • (think Tater and Bitty doing lifts on the ice but with ransom and holster and alcohol)
  • and shitty’s hanging all over jack because they haven’t seen each other in weeks and he introduces himself to everyone as jack’s brother – “but not like a lame- ass biological brother, a brother of the heart” – and lardo’s somehow got all these falcs rookies following her around like little ducklings
  • so bits is kind of off by himself, hovering near the refreshments to monitor which pies are most popular
  • (he might be distancing himself from jack on purpose. he might be trying to move on. it might be really hard.)

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