okay everyone can laugh at me now

3

Requested by Anon #293

Y/N: Julian?
Julian: Y/N, are you okay? Does anywhere hurt?
Y/N: Just my ribs and back. What happened?
Julian: I told you not to go on that mission with The Flash. It was too dangerous.
Y/N: You know me, I’m too stubborn.
Julian: The Flash was on the floor, Savitar was winning and you jumped in front of The Flash and Savitar…he stabbed you. Through the stomach. The doctors said that you can come home within the next two weeks.
Y/N: How are the others?
Julian: You’re in hospital and you’re asking how everyone else is? *laughs* They’re fine. How are you?
Y/N: I was scared, I don’t know what came over me. I just felt the need to protect my friends. I didn’t want anyone to die. Once Savitar, got me, I swear I’ve never felt pain like that Julian.
Julian: Hey, it’s okay, *hugs you* it’s over now. He can’t hurt you.
Y/N: What if I never saw you again? What if Savitar killed you all anyway? What if…
Julian: Y/N, listen to me. Stop wondering what if. You’re here, with me and we’re not going to lose each other. I love you and I’m not letting you do something that stupid again. *laughs*
Y/N: I love you too. *kisses him*
Cisco: *walks in* Ew! You just woke up and you’re already using too much PDA!
Caitlin: How are you feeling Y/N?
Y/N: Good now I know you’re all okay.
Barry: Y/N I’m sorry. I should’ve been faster and this wouldn’t have happ…
Y/N: Barry, stop blaming yourself. You may be a superhero but that doesn’t mean you have to blame yourself when stuff goes wrong. It was my fault. I jumped in front of you. You couldn’t have seen it coming.
Barry: Thanks. Even after getting hurt you’re looking after us.
Julian: Isn’t she amazing?

WARNINGS: Details of abuse, suicide, slight torture, reader injured/kidnapped

“Can I please have a hint as to what you ‘announcement’ is?” He begged for the hundredth time

“I am literally around the corner okay?” You smiled “you will find out over dinner like everyone else”

“Okay fine baby girl, everyone’s here now, so you better have a lot to eat”

You laughed “Have you ever known me to be under prepared”

“That is very true babygirl, love you”

“I love you too” you smiled as you turned down the last corner, you felt one of the handles on the bag snap “crap” you whispered

“(Y/n)?”

“One of the bags broke” you sighed putting the rest of the bags down

“Did you want some help?” He was laughing

“If you would be so kind” you sighed

“I’ll bring Reid down with me”

“Okay hurry up” you laughed “love you

“Love you too baby girl” You hung up the phone and started picking up the spilt items, you heard footsteps coming up behind you than something hard hit you in the head, you hit the sidewalk and it all went black.

•—•

You slowly started woke with a pounding head ache and you were tied to a chair in a smallish room with two other people, both sitting away from you, together you all made a triangle, you squinted your eyes to try see who the other two people were “Hello?” Your voice came out as croaky, but no reply within minutes the two figures slowly started to shift around, they were eventually fully awake “Hello?”

Suddenly a bright light filled the room, you closed your eyes “Here’s a sight for sore eyes” a familiar voice filled the air “now that everyone’s fully awake I thought we could get started”

“Mary?” You squinted through the bright light “Mary is that you”

“You always were a smart one (Y/n)” her laugh filled echoed off the walls

“Mary what are you thinking you crazy girl, bringing us here” your fathers loud voice boomed, triggering memories of the many nights that it would fill the house

“Oh dad always a pleasure” she patted his face “Not” she gave him a huge slap, she let out another laugh “and my dear mother always the quiet one, never says a word unless she spoken to like a good little bitch” she also slapped her, than walked over to you “And last but not least my little sister, should I just skip the slap and make a little surprise for your friends” she danced the knife across your cheek

“Mary what’s going on?” You looked her in the eyes “Where have yo-” she gave you a slap much harder than the others that knocked your chair over

“Nothin changed with you (Y/n), so many question, so many boring little questions” she pulled the chair back up “maybe that should be my first lesson to you” she dragged the knife along your thigh only just cutting into the skin making you flinch “how to be more like your mummy and shut up” she dug the knife slightly deeper but you didn’t make a sound “already learning” she lightly patted your shoulder

••••••••

It had been a couple hours since you’d woken up and she had just been pacing around mumbling to herself

“Listen Mary” you finally spoke

“No I am done listening to people and all of your demands and wants and threats, now I have the power, I have the knife and you will listen to me!” She put the blade up to your neck

“Do you-”

“I said shut up!” She yelled pressing the blade tighter against your neck

“No” you felt the anger bubble in your stomach “you can’t just drag me from my life and put me in front of the two people who ruined it in the first place and not expect me to be angry, you can threaten me with that stupid knife all you want but you are going to listen to what I’m going to say!” you yelled

“Fine” she took the knife away from your throat

“I had no one in that house but you , than you left and I was alone with them” you glared at you parents “but I got out, I worked hard to get get my job at the BAU and I finally found a place where people wanted me, people loved me and I found someone who made me feel stuff I had never felt before, I felt safe and protected and like I could finally have that perfect like we both dreamt about all those nights and than you took me as I was heading home to my boyfriend” your parents gasped “that’s right I have a boyfriend and we live together and I’ve never been happier so shove it up your ass because I’m not going to let the religion that you thought gave you both the right to beat and abuse us for so long have anything to do with my life” you took a deep breath and leaned back in your chair and looked back at your sister “So you can do what you want for me but remember I was in that house alone for years, so what ever you do to me they’ve done it all before”

She knelt down in front of you putting the knife by her side “I didn’t want to leave you behind, they made me”

“You could’ve come back for me, we had so many ways of getting out of that house, I waited for you every single night to be standing on one of them, to save me but you never didn’t”

“You both should be ashamed of yourselves” your father yelled “We put a roof over your head for years, gave you food, education-”

“Beatings, lashing, solitary confinement” she cut him off “just because you gave us the basics doesn’t mean you could abuse us you arrogant pig”

“We are your parents how dare you treat us like this, untie is right now Mary” your mother spoke for the first time

Mary looked ready to back down and to follow orders but only for a second, suddenly she was at mothers neck pressing it tightly against her whispering something “Mary! You can save me, we can go live somewhere in the city, get a big place, maybe a pet you can meet Morgan, I know that he would love to meet you” She relaxed the knife “Mary come and meet my boyfriend come and meet my team, they’ll help us”

“I can’t just let you go”

“Yes you can Mary, my team they are the smartest people I’ve ever met, they will help us but you just need to put the knife down and untie me” you bit your lip anxiously waiting her response

“Do you really want to live with me?” She stood back from your mother and put the knife by her side “Or are you just trying to get out of here” she jumped at you and pressed the knife against your stomach

“I’m not lying” you screamed “I’m not, have I ever lied to you? About anything in my life” you screamed “I’ve never told a lie because we promised”

“That was years ago” she applied started applying pressure to the blade

“I never break a promise” She relaxed the knife a small amount “I have never broken a single promise to you”

“I don’t believe you” she pushed the knife in further

“Mary I’m pregnant” You screamed “do you remember? Thats was all I wanted as growing up do you remember, all I wanted was to be a mum and have a child I could spoil and now I’m so close” You cried

She pulled the knife away with a shaky hand and stepped away “When did you find out?”

“Yesterday, that’s where I was going, I was going to tell Derek and my team at our apartment but Mary I was so scared to tell them, all I could think of was you” she started crying “I thought about how much easier it would be to tell you to feel all of that with you and just have you there like when we were kids”

“Oh god” she started pacing the room “I’m so sorry”

“Mary it’s alright you can still fix all of this” you said to her “all of it by just letting us go, I will make sure that they get punished, they do the time, they feel like we did for years and that they never get to hurt anyone ever again”

“(Y/n) you can’t be serious” your father looked at you, you shook your head subtlety to let them know to shut up

“I need you to help me, I can’t move and I need you to let me go so that I can do that” you tried to loosen the binds “Mary they’ll be punished”

She stop and looked at you before walking around the back of you and cutting the thick rope that had been wrapped around your hands for hours you stood up and hugged her “I missed you Mary”

“I-I missed you too” you slowly let her go and started letting your parents loose

“Stay still until I have the knife okay” you whispered to them “do not move or she might kill you” you turned back around to face her had said something to the still filming camera, she lifted the knife to her stomach “Mary” you moved slowly closer to her “don’t do it”

“We both know they’re never gonna let me be a free person” she started crying

“I have friends in high places, we can arrange for it to happen, we’ll live together and we’ll be happy” you kept taking small steps forward “it’ll be so fun, we can go on those big adventures we always talked about, you remember”

“You about to start a family (Y/n), you don’t need me” she gave you a small smile

“You are my family, I want you there, I want you too be happy” you were so close to grabbing the knife

“I’m sorry” she gave you a small smile before stabbing the knife into herself

“No!” You screamed catching her as she fell “Mary” you ripped the sleeve off your shirt and started tying it around her bleeding “stay with me” she’s slowly shut her eyes “no no no no no!” You screamed trying to wrap it tighter around and stop the bleeding

“You did such a good job (y/n) I’m so proud of you” she smiled “Your teams on their way, I told them where we are”

“Mary just hold on, okay? They’ll be quick, they’ll save you”

“I love you” she whispered before closing her eyes

“No no Mary come on, Mary” you whispered “Mary please” you cried still trying to stop the bleeding “Help me!” You screamed at your parents “Help me please!”

“She has gone to far from gods light to be saved” your father said turning away

The swat team arrived and cleared the room, taking you and your parents out into the bright afternoon sun, you were lead around the side of the building and saw your team waiting anxiously by the police cars, Derek was the first to spot you, you started running and he met you halfway, he hugged you tightly, you started crying “Keep them away from me Derek”

“I’ll never let them hurt you again baby” he hugged you tightly

You’d arrived at the hospital and been put into a small private room, you’d had your stomach and thigh stitch up but they wanted to keep you over night for possible head injury.

You heard a small knock on the door “Hello?” The door open and your team flowed in, you started smiling “Guys” they all slowly hugged you and Rossi put a flowers on the small table beside you “thank you Rossi” you kissed his cheek, Derek sat down beside you and held your hand “So you’re probably all wondering why I gathered you at our apartment last night” A tear slipped out down your cheek “I was going to tell you all that… I’m pregnant”

The room instantly lit up, everyone started smiling “Are you serious?” Derek smiled

“Yep” you smiled back, he stood up and kissed you

“I love you so much (Y/n)” he kissed you again “I’m gonna be a dad” he smiled widely and hugged Reid tightly

Once everyone had congratulated the two of you, you told them to go home and get some rest, they eventually all agreed and slowly made their good byes, Derek stayed seated beside you “You should get some rest as well”

“I will tomorrow when you’re back home with me” he rubbed small patterns into your hand “Do you need anything?”

“A coffee sounds amazing” you smiled

“Ah not for the mother to be” he smiled standing up “How about some tea?”

“Sounds good” You shook your head and smiled as Derek practically danced out of the room

You started to close your eyes when another small knock at the door came “hello?”

“Sorry Ma’m but your parents are here, should I let them in?” The officer asked

“No-” you were cut off by them pushing past the officer

“Hello (Y/n)” you mother greeted you

“No leave”

“We just wanted to come check on you” your mother touched the flowers that Rossi had bought you

“I’m fine, now please get out” you moved the flowers away

“We also wanted to thank you for saving us” your mother touched your arm “Mary was always troubled”

“Don’t say her name” you pulled your arm away from her “You’re the reason she was always troubled, you had a chance to save her and you didn’t”

“As I said in the time, she has strayed to far from-” your father tried

“Don’t give me that religious bs, you hated us both from day one, you use religion as your shield” You yelled standing up from the bed “but really you only claim to be people of god, to be holy but really I think you’re the monsters that god was trying to protect us from”

“Do not speak about a god you do not believe in” you father turned and yelled back

You just stood there breathing heavily “You’re not holy people, you just use religion as your excuse, what would your god say to all that happened here? He would tell you to get fucked that he doesn’t want two pricks like yourselves to use his name in vain”

They both looked like their heads were about you explode “How dare you speak to us like that”

“I just saved your lives from a monster that you created, she tried to get out and get help but no one could help her, you killed her and I hope you both burn in hell”

“How dare you speak to us like that” your father pinned you up against the wall with his hand tightly on your neck “Be grateful of the life we have given you or it’ll shall be snatched as it was from your sister”

“Hey!” Derek burst in and pulled your farther off you “Get out!” He pointed to the door

“She is our daughter and we will leave when we are ready” your mother spoke up

“Get them out of here and if they resist arrest them” he told the officer who had followed him in, they were pushed out and down the hallway

“Are you okay?” He helped you back over to the bed

You nodded your head as he passed you a drink of water “thank you” you whispered

“Always” he hugged you tightly

“I hate them so much” you started shaking

“You never have to see them again (Y/n) I promise you” he rocked you slowly “They’ll never touch you again not as long as I’m around, they won’t touch either of you, I promise”

“I love you” you cuddled into his side “I love you so much”

“I love you too” he kissed the top of your head

A/n got my exam results back and did better than expected 😂

On my way to work today I was slipping through Jesus Alley and saw an old man sitting on the ground and crying so I asked him if he was alright and he coughed and spat out a long glob of bloody phlegm that stuck to his chin and dribbled into his lap and he laughed and showed me his teeth.

++++++

Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between sadness and anger and that’s okay, because there really is no difference.

++++++

I’ve done plenty of questionable and terrible things in my life. I don’t really trust anyone who claims they haven’t. Like, who the fuck are you fooling with that shit? Everyone is ugly and everyone has done their share of ugly. What matters to me is whether or not the ugly ceased or the glow took over the ugly and the glow is what’s on tap now.

Don’t act like it’s any different for anyone else.

++++++

It’s been over a year since I ended an affair I’ve never spoken about. It’s been over a year since I’ve published anything. It’s been over a year since I have felt the urge to get some work out into the world and do some work worth being out in the world and I still don’t know if the tickle in my throat means it’s time or if it means it’s time to hang it up.

I don’t want to hang it up, though. I’m not ready.

We have only so much time to get into the meat before it spoils and I understand that, I do. But I ain’t writing for anyone and I ain’t writing about the same thing you’re writing about and I’m damn sure not going to make anyone else the villain, ever. Put that on repeat.

++++++

I’ve been curious about the angles people have taken. What leads people to blame and banish. What kind of mechanism is it that has people telling you they fucking love and support you and then they turn around and walk away and pretend they aren’t responsible, too. I’m not talking about one specific person here, either. I’m talking about a lot of people over the last couple of years. I’m talking about people who have blood in the game and then they’re ghosts. If I were drinking or getting high, I’d get it because I’d want to banish as well. But I’m not and never will and I’m damn sure of that. Maybe that’s it, right? Maybe because I don’t sway or swing and I walk through the goddamn fire with just me and my shadow, maybe that fucks with folks. Maybe.

No matter. I’m the one who loves me, when and if I can. Anyone else is full of shit once what they need or thought they needed is done.

++++++

I’m showing you my bloody teeth, too.

Bill @ university: shit post version

Bill being in Fords class and everyone being too scared to ask questions because Bill shoots daggers every time they raise their hand

Them: I was gonna ask professor pines a question after class but that blonde guy stared at me until I left

“ah ford is such a good professor~ look they all like him~” and then like the tenth time someone “thank u professor~” he’s like “ok you can shut the fuck up now”

Ford: -makes a bad science joke-
Someone: -laughs loudly-
Bill: okay it’s not that fucking funny

Ford: what’s wrong now
Bill: nothing
Ford: okay
Bill: I just think it’s really funny how Cindy thought u were so fucking funny today-

Classmates conspire like “idk call me crazy but I think professor pines and that blonde guy are sleeping together”

 *rumour goes around Bill and Ford are sleeping together*
Bill: *the one who spread it*

Bill: wow ford, Idk why everyone thinks we’re fucking :)))))))
Ford: did u say something bill
Bill: who? Me? What? No way :)
Bill: it must be the way you look at me :)) you old pervert ;))
Bill: I guess it’s just obvious…when people are in love…

Bill: oh no… :)… they must be so jealous
Ford: why would they be jealous
Bill: They’re Jealous Ford

Ford: if this rumour spreads, I could get into trouble
Bill: Dont worry no one will find out. also, let me blow you in your classroom where anyone can walk in. or your office.

Bill: lets fuck in this classroom
Ford: please don’t string this rumour along
Bill: you bet
Bill as he walks out: -musses his hair and undoes a couple buttons and winks at the class waiting outside-

Bill: -sprays himself with Ford’s cologne and walks past everyone- 

Bill: -wears Ford’s sweater to class-
Ford: y
Bill: oops….:) must of grabbed it by accident

*Rumour backfires and people think Bill actually sleeps with teachers for grades*

A professor in another class: -actually makes advances at Bill-
Bill: um. Ew?

Professor: what’s ur number
Bill: -visibly texting- I don’t have a phone

Another professor: * makes advances towards Bill*
Ford: how dare you take advantage of a student
Them: everyone’s saying you fucked him too
Ford: it’s different

Bill: that professor is being rly creepy
Ford: I’ll pull you out of that class. And report him. And talk to him myself.
Bill: that is the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me 

Bill: don’t I need the class
Ford: you know who I always thought could teach it better? Me 

Ford: I’ll talk to him
Bill: wow ❤️ Ford is going to rough him up for me ✨❤️❤️
Ford, talking to him: I find your behaviour inappropriate, unprofessional and frankly - sir - appalling, if I may.

Bill: -is doing the homework without problem-
Ford: -is looking at him-
Bill:
Ford:
Bill: i mean, um- I need help, it’s too hard ford I need your help-
Ford: ❤️

Teacher who hit on Bill: Idk what the big deal is. Bill is clearly the promiscuous type
Ford: first of all: how dare you. second of all: HOW DARE YOU-

Them: Bill was leading ME on-
Ford: I’m getting you fired

Most of these by @ludwigbeilschmitten

okay so that new episode was really emotional but can we just talk about

pearl jumping into bismuth’s arms laughing and hugging her

bismuth wrapping an arm around pearl’s waist whenever possible

pearl blushing because of bismuth

is this pearl fuckign showing bismuth the diamond card isn’t bad beCAUSE

BISPEARL IS REAL

F(x) Reaction to: You Accidentally Admitting They’re Your Girlfriend in an Interview

thank you! other versions: rv | snsd :)

Victoria: thinking ‘here comes the media attention & anti’s :) how fun’

Originally posted by songtoriafx

Amber: can’t even walk through sm without someone making a smart comment and she pretends to be annoyed but secretly she feels like at least everyone now knows you’re hers and she’s yours

Originally posted by jinsbeautiful

Luna: rings you up immediately; “We’re in so much trouble,” she laughs, “But … you thinking of me so much is really cute. Come over before our managers kill us for one last kiss, okay?”

Originally posted by joiiyv

Sulli: you were the one who had been most adamant about keeping the relationship a secret, so the fact that you were the one to accidentally leak it, makes the situation hilarious to her. she can’t even recount the interview when asked about it on other shows, since she ends up laughing too hard

Originally posted by letsllamaforever

Krystal: Had to get ready for a performance so couldn’t watch you on tv but made the girls do so in her place. When Amber ran in, telling her of your slip up, she gulps. “Oh no, that idiot … We’re done for.”

Originally posted by soojng

Let’s have a serious talk...

Okay, I feel the need to talk about this. Let’s talk about ships, specifically, Septiplier. Now, there’s been some… tension this weekend about ships. During the livestream, we all noticed that both Mark and Jack felt uncomfortable whenever their ship was mentioned, which is okay. They ship it for us, so that they can laugh at it and just have fun with some “flirting;” however, it has come to my attention that everyone, whether you ship Septiplier or Jelix or whatever, is starting to growl and hiss at one another like cats and dogs. 

Let me state this now: I ship Septiplier, although I have a realistic perspective. This means, I know that Mark and Jack are never ever going to get together because they have two beautiful girlfriends, who they may marry one day, and have little Marks and Jacks running around, yet I like to draw cute art of them. I know how adorable septiplier can be; although, it will never happen. Now let me state another thing: I don’t know Mark and Jack on a personally level, but I would like to think that just because they get uneasy at the thought of septiplier, it does NOT mean that it ruined their friendship!

 Let me further this with an example: My boyfriend thinks that my best friend and I would be cute if we got together, however, this does not me that I am gay nor is my best friend gay. My boyfriend sometimes will make little innuendos towards me and my friend because she and I are so close, and while it is a little embarrassing, it doesn’t ruin my friendship with my friend. I would like to think the same for Mark and Jack. Mark and Jack love each other platonically. It’s okay to ship septiplier, but we must remember that they are real people, who have girlfriends and are attracted to the female species. They always have and always will be attracted to the opposite sex.

Okay now let’s talk about something a little more: The Communities. I am really surprised at everyone lately! Just today, I took a stand for an artist, who draws septiplier, and I got attacked by a person who spoke harshly to me about why septiplier is wrong. Okay, well, I do not want to fight with anybody, but attacking a person because they took a stand for someone else is not cool. You have an opinion, as do I, but telling me that my opinion is wrong will not really attract me to really want to come back to the community. I’m going to state this: This is no one’s fault! It’s not Mark’s, or Jack’s, or the shipper’s or anybody! I do think as shippers, we could tone it down with the um… *ahem* NSFW fanfics and art. And the non-shippers could tone it down with the attacking. If you don’t like it, ignore it. Do not pay it any mind. If it bothers Mark or Jack, surely to God they have the courage to go to that author or artist and politely ask them to not draw or write that kind of stuff as it makes them uncomfortable. I know if I was in their shoes, I would be blushing and hiding my face if I saw my body written or drawn in such a provocative manner.

What I am trying to get at is… We’re not perfect, and that’s fine, but fighting and blaming each other is not going to help anything. Okay? People will do things that make others uncomfortable, but attacking each other like a bunch of rabid animals is not going to solve how we fix it. We may not know each other, but by God, we are a family. A community of people. We took a promise to help those in need. I don’t care if you come from Mark’s community, or Jack’s, or from both, if there’s a problem, we all need to band together and figure a way out to solve it. For if we don’t…. I fear that the communities will tear each other apart and I don’t really want to lose my community families like that. Neither do Mark or Jack. I love you guys, but listen to me. I’m not saying this to make people mad, or to hurt people, or to make someone hate me. I’m saying this to save the communities. To help people understand Jack and Mark better. Remember my words okay guys? Love you <3

Your community sister,
Hmcgee18

#15 “Squad”

#15 from my au list;  Can’t it just be us for a day and not us and the whole squad no offense

*****

REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!

*****

LIST HERE

**************

Originally posted by teupatrao

I was trying reaaaaaaally hard not to catch an attitude, but it was becoming inevitable .

“Y/N throw me some chips!” Za says, and I literally grab the whole bag of chips and throw it at his head, a look of shock on his face as everyone laughs.

If I wasn’t so irritated I would’ve laughed too, but now wasn’t the time .

“Babe you okay?” Justin whispers in my ear, his arm wrapped around me and I rolled my eyes.

“Just peachy Justin” I snap, because this was all his fault .

Everything was going just fine. We woke up, had amazing sex, ate breakfast, Justin ate me which lead to more sex, we watched a movie.. the day was going perfectly. Justin had been promoting his new album and he had just gotten home a few days ago, but we kept hanging out with the squad, and today I thought itd just be us … Until they showed up.

Justin grabbed my chin gently so I could look at him but I snatched it away, standing up.

“Y/N where are you going?” Kendall asks, and I sigh.

“Im going to the bathroom, do you all want to come and ruin that too?” I say, a little too harshly, before turning around and stomping to the restroom.

I closed the door behind me, closing my eyes. I just wanted them gone for ONE day out so we could continue our perfect day.

I opened my eyes when someone knocked on the door. “Baby? Its Justin, open up” He says and I sigh, unlocking the door and opening it.

He looked so good in his sweat pants and t shirt, his hair messy from our last sex session, few hickies visible on his neck.

“Did I do something? I thought we were okay” He asks, stepping inside of the bathroom and closing the door behind us.

I pout, wrapping my arms around his waist and looking up at him.

“We are okay, more than okay, its just-“I purse my lips, not wanting to sound clingy or demanding.

“Its just what baby? Tell me so I can fix it.” He presses, his hands wrapping around me.

“Its just, ever since you’ve been home its been us and everyone else. Cant it just be us for a day? Like today was going so perfect” I mumble, and he smiles at me.

“You want me to kick them out so we can pick up where we left off?” He asks seductively and I laugh.

“I just want to be with youuu, and only you” I whisper, my lips ghosting against his.

“Done” He murmurs, pressing his lips against mine.

CLYDE: His money.
TOKEN: … Thanks.
CLYDE: Just kidding! I, uh, don’t know? He’s cool, he’s my best friend, man. I can spend so much time with him without getting bored.
CLYDE: And unlike everyone else he doesn’t tease me for crying too much. And he’s super smart and usually the voice of reason whenever the rest of us does something stupid-


CLYDE: Aw, are you flustered cause I’m praising you?
TOKEN: Shut up.
CLYDE: You can praise me too!
TOKEN: Well, Clyde’s… He’s an idiot.
CLYDE: Your definition of praising is different than mine.
TOKEN: But he’s like, you know, our idiot. Everyone needs a Clyde. He can make me laugh and he’s actually not as stupid as many people think.
CLYDE: Okay, you can stop now, you’re making me blush-
TOKEN: And you’re nice. You stand up for others and don’t care when people tease you for it. And I like that you’re not afraid of your emotions and-


TOKEN: Please forget I said any of these things.
CLYDE: Dude, what? No way! That’s like the nicest thing anyone has said to me. You’re so in love with me.
TOKEN: Oh my god.
CLYDE: I should tell this Craig, maybe he’ll be nicer to me too.
TOKEN: Don’t you dare.

Donald Trump the Goblin

DM (me): Okay so you convinced the goblin to join you, so he’s now in your party.

Fighter (ooc): Can we name him?

DM (ooc): Sure.

Fighter and Cleric (in unison, ooc): Donald Trump

Everyone laughs.

(Later..)

Fighter: I send out Donald Trump to fight the goblins!

DM: The goblins spot the traitor, and fire arrows at it..

*Rolls nat 20*

DM: Donald Trump was shot in the head by one of the goblin archers, right in the forehead, killing him.

Fighter (ooc): HALLELUJAH.

Okay, so I saw a bunch of people reblogging one of those otp posts and now I can’t find it. LYS FOUND IT FOR ME!
“I tried to say fuck off and fight me at the same time and I said fuck me imagine ur otp” … everyone kept saying it was definitely Baz. Which I totally agree with. But have you considered:

One day Simon makes a comment, picking on Baz, and Baz tries to say either “fight me” or “fuck you” and ends up saying, “Fuck me.” And then Simon laughs at him, but happily obliges.
Then, either a few days or weeks later, Baz makes a comment, picking on Simon, and Simon tries to say “fight me” or “fuck you” but ends up saying, “Fight you.” And Baz just goes, “My way was so much better.” And then Simon kicks him. (But still happily obliges. Again.)