okay but you can't blame me

I was raped and I can’t stand being touched. I tell my family and friends I’m just not a very touchy person, but they ignore me and will hug or grab me. They don’t know what happened, and I know they don’t mean any harm by it, but I’ve asked them to stop so many times..
—  Posted by Anonymous.
The One Where Molly Tells Sherlock
  • *John & Mary's*
  • Molly: *hugging Mary* Have a great honeymoon! Call me when you get there.
  • Mary: *giggling* Thanks...
  • John: *smirks* We'll try.
  • Molly: *stroking her stomach* And I wanted you to know that I'm telling the father today.
  • John & Mary: *smile at each other*
  • Molly: *confused* What? What's going on?
  • John: *excited* We know its Sherlock!
  • Molly: *stunned* Wha- how? How do you know?
  • Mary: We found his scarf. But nevermind that...yay *hugging her*
  • Molly: *relieved* Oh, I really wanted Sherlock to know first but I’m so glad you two know.
  • John: *rubbing the back of his neck* This is so great! I-I'm going to be an Uncle!
  • Molly: *nodding* Yes. You are. Both of you. But, you'd make a better Aunt, Mary.
  • Mary: *tearful; mumbles into her shoulder* Mary's a nice name, don't you think?
  • John: Not as nice as John.
  • Molly: *giggles* Yeah, yeah...have a great honeymoon you two *breathes deeply* I have to go and change a detective's life.
  • *221B Baker Street*
  • Molly: *pacing outside*
  • Sherlock: *leaving a cab* Ah, Molly. I've been expecting you.
  • Molly: *swallows* You- you have?
  • Sherlock: *nods; gestures at the door* After you.
  • Molly: *heading up to the flat* We need to talk...
  • Sherlock: *removing his coat* Yes. We've put it off long enough *gestures at the sofa* But I should talk first. To save you any embarassment.
  • Molly: *sitting on the sofa; warily* Okay.
  • Sherlock: *sitting in his chair; hands steepled* You're feelings for me are too strong to leave at just one night.
  • Molly: *confused* What?
  • Sherlock: *rolls his eyes* Look, there is no denying our one night was fun and indefinitely passionate, but I rather think our relationship is too valuable to risk, don't you?
  • Molly: *blinking* Uhh...
  • Sherlock: *smiles* Fine. There is no point lying. It was unbelieveable and, if you want to, we can do it one more time. I’d be okay with that *checks his watch* In fact, Mrs. Hudson's out.
  • Molly: *raises her eyebrow* Can I talk now?
  • Sherlock: If you need to.
  • Molly: *breathes deeply* I’m pregnant.
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Molly: Sherlock?
  • Sherlock: *staring into space, eyes wide*
  • Molly: *waving her hand in front of his face* Sher-lock?
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Molly: *nods* You know what, whenever you’re ready *sits back and opens her pathology paper*
  • Sherlock: *still frozen*
  • Molly: And you’re the father by the way but...you know...
  • *half an hour later*
  • Molly: *looks up* You want some water or something?
  • Sherlock: *hoarse* No. Not the- nooo.
  • Molly: *bites her lip* I-I'm not asking anything of you. You can be as involved as you want.
  • Sherlock: *nods slowly; clears his throat* I-I just, I must...I don’t know—I don’t understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
  • Molly: Yeah, I know. I know, but condoms only work 97% of the time.
  • Sherlock: *freaking out* So, what is the point? They should put in on the box. False advertising.
  • Molly: *frowns* They do.
  • Sherlock: *ruffling his hair* Pfft, no one reads the box.
  • Molly: *rubbing her forehead* Sherlock, come on, let’s just forget about the condoms.
  • Sherlock: *annoyed* I may as well have!

Okay but like Clary found out that Alec and Izzy have never watched Mean Girls so she drags them round to Magnus’ loft to watch it and in the middle of the movie, Magnus says that Jace is definitely Regina George and they all find it fucking hilarious so they start calling Jace by that name and start quoting at him. Izzy casually drops the ‘that’s why his hair is so big, it’s full of secrets’ in and Jace looks so confused and then one day they’re discussing the fight jalec had and Alec is like ‘one time he punched me in the face, it was awesome’ and Jace is like 'dude, what?’. This goes on for weeks and Jace, bless him, is so confused about it all and he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.

This is such a weird headcanon, I’m so sorry guys, blame it on the hiatus.