The Internet

Aziraphale is confused as to what exactly the internet is. Crowley attempts to explain.

The two sat, in silence, in the back of Aziraphale’s bookshop, shielded by the Closed sign hanging from the door. Crowley’s glasses were askew, showing a tiny glimmer of gold, and Aziraphale was slightly red in the cheeks. The angel appeared to be on the verge of asking something, opening and closing his mouth several times before finally speaking.
“What’s the…internet?”
He pronounced it oddly, as if it were some sort of strange slang word. The demon burst out laughing, shaking his head at the ridiculous question.
“How the hell am I supposed to answer that, angel?” He chortled, adjusting his sunglasses.
Aziraphale blushed. “Well, I’ve just heard that term come up quite a few times, and I was just curious…oh, nevermind, it’s not really important…” He trailed off, embarrassed.
Crowley sighed. “No, I’ll give it a go. Um…” He tilted his head, trying to think of a way to explain. Eventually, he reached into his pocket and produced a sleek smartphone, pristine, glimmering silver. Aziraphale stared at it as if it contained a part of Satan’s soul.
“This is a phone.” Crowley stated. “A real phone. Not that outdated box of a thing that you still have. Basically, you ask the internet stuff, and it answers it.”
The angel frowned, uncomprehending. “But how does it know?”
Crowley threw him a dubious look. “It just does. Look –“
He entered in his own name, for lack of a better thing to add, and tapped the search button sleekly. It appeared, alive with results in merely a few seconds.
Aziraphale stared at the screen. “How did it do that? That’s…information about you!”
“Oh yes.” Crowley grinned.
“Do people know about us?”
Crowley grinned wider. “You bet they do, angel. A little too much.”
The angel thought for a moment, then asked: “Which side invented it?”
“Neither. It was all the humans.”
“Really?” Aziraphale appeared surprised. “I would have thought it would have been your side.”
Crowley frowned. “Hey, don’t blame me.” He muttered.
Aziraphale still looked very confused, drumming his fingers on the faded wooden table. He frowned at the phone, as if it had wronged him somehow.
“So what else do you do on this internet thing? Is there anything else?”
Crowley slitted eyes narrowed as he thought. “Well, there’s apps, which let you do things, play games and such. One of my inventions.” He said, proudly. “I’m particularly pleased with the mobile games. Flappy Bird may just be my greatest achievement.”
Aziraphale groaned. “Do you mean that dreadful thing where you catch those monsters, what do you call it again…”
The demon cackled. “You mean Pokemon Go?” He said, grinning triumphantly.
“Yes, that! And that…Instantgram thing.”
Crowley laughed even harder. “Instantgram!” He exclaimed, giggling.
Aziraphale frowned. “Why are you laughing?” He muttered reproachfully, slightly bewildered.
“Oh, Zira, I don’t think you’re cut out to understand the internet.” Crowley sighed.
“No, I guess not, my dear.”
“Perhaps it’s for the best.”
The angel smiled. “Yes, maybe.”
Crowley winced. “But really, angel, you have to get rid of that awful phone, internet or not.”
Aziraphale looked reproachful. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Everything.” Groaned Crowley, placing his chin on the table and shaking his head at the oblivious angel. Sometimes it was very irritating, having your only friend stuck in the fifties.
Ah well. Perhaps it was for the best.
Besides, God knows what he would think of the fanfiction.


Online dating be like


a:tla + quotes

(inspired by i, ii)


What’s that saying? 
               The show’s gotta go all over the place… or something? (insp.)

GOODBYE GLEE (2009-2015)

I mean, Pearl probably wouldn’t choose to fight like a ballerina if she was starting from scratch when she learned to fight. It’s not exactly the world’s most popular method, or the most efficient. And in “together breakfast” she uses a dance to open her vault of swords. She’s always doing little things like that, using dances for this or that. She’s always dancing, right?

She is always dancing, really, in little tiny ways in everything she does. I don’t think that is just because she’s ‘the graceful one’.

Hear me out for a sec. I really think Pearl was a dancer.

I think Pearl was a dancer, originally, and probably precious little else. I think she was a pretty thing that belonged to a powerful gem, and that when she was made she was made to be a servant, a doll, delicate and graceful and thoughtless.

I think, somewhere along the line, she realized that was bullshit. I think she fell in love, first with the woman that refused to own her, and then the earth. And when war broke out, I think she had something to fight for. A reason to change.

I think she calloused those elegant hands they gave her turning a baton into a spear, practicing endlessly to sharpen the dance steps she knew already into weapons. I think she fought, at first too viciously, because she only had one person she was fighting for, and I think that somewhere she still thought of herself as a tool for her. I think she poofed herself, for the very first time, and then again, and again, and again. I think she always kept going, until it started happening less and less and then one day no one could say she was there to “look pretty” anymore. And eventually, they won.

And, eventually, Pearl lost that person she’d fought for.

But life went on, anyway, and I think Pearl had to go with it. She built a house, and did laundry, fixed cars and lead missions, and realized that she had to be someone besides Rose’s knight.  I think she buried those delicate hands in wires and engines until she had learned how to create something new, and learned what tools really were,

and that people were not tools.

I think Pearl fell in love, guys.

First with the woman that refused to own her, and then the earth. But next, with a couple who loved each other in a way that defied what they’d been told back home, and with the person they were together. Even later (and even now) I think she fell (and is falling) in love with a gem who had never known the place she’d come from, and never assumed she was anything less than an equal. And despite her grief, she definitely fell in love with Steven!

But recently? I think Pearl finally fell in love with herself.

Because even though a homeworld gem was literally screaming her ‘real purpose’ in her face, she didn’t wilt this time. She just smiled, and decked the little punk right in the face, with her elegant, calloused, but far from delicate hands.

See, she might still walk like a dancer and fight like a ballerina and hell, she might even doubt herself sometimes. 

But she will never be a just a Pearl ever again.


“A Ladder.”


Don’t ask me how Aurora even knows what a runway super model is.

(Must have gotten into Auntie Thistlewit’s secret stash of Moor’s Most Modish issues at some point or another)

Also if you haven’t yet, you can see my first Maleficent comic here!