ok will shut up in the tags now


Me: Oh hey this Pokémon fusion thing going around lately seems like fun, gotta make one or two.

Me: *Ends up doing 10*

Me: Why am I like this.


Feel free to use any of these designs! (the design, not the drawing), just mention me if you do- I wanna see :0


Ha ok, this is based off of this joke from Gravity Falls, the idea just came to me while I tried to fall asleep one night and wouldn’t leave me alone so!

Also bonus morning after:

Yes. Yes he did. And it’s all your fault, Missy.


and when the lights start flashing like a photobooth
and the stars exploding
we’ll be fireproof

—troye sivan “youth” / © hoshi majoo


An AU where young Keith, a Filipino-Korean, moves to the USA; on his first day at school, he refuses to talk, partly because he’s not exactly very sociable but mostly because he’s incredibly embarrassed about his English and lack of proficiency in it. O and shiro walks in

TRIPS OVER MY OWN FEET oh my god this was supposed to be black and white but then i wanted to paint but then gave up andCHRIST. my art style changes 600 times during this comic its dISGUSTIGN. THEN AGAIN it was rly rushed i just wanted to get this idea outta my head before school starts.


I know it probably doesn’t look like it, but this post is me officially declaring a lawsuit against @zefive for unfairly dragging me into this ship with her friggin’ adorable headcanons/ideas for these two nerds because honestly that was just Uncalled For x,3

Radarrell?? Darrad???? we needa settle on a name for them lol~



omg but when I saw those tags I fell in love fell. in. love. with your au like?? It’s perfect?? Anyway a thousand apologies for this–but I couldn’t get the brilliance of your au out of my head so I doodled a little montage of sorts I hope you don’t mind!!

Louder {Calum Hood Smut}


Hope you like this! Sorry if it’s a bit shorter than the others!


“Admit it mate,” Michael scoffed, “You’re just no good in the sack.”

Calum took another swig of his beer, propping his feet up on Luke’s coffee table, leaning back on the couch and giving his friend a hard glare. Michael could insult whatever he wanted about Calum–it was how their relationship worked–except his ability to pleasure his longtime girlfriend.

“I’m great in the sack,” Calum protested, staring his blue-haired friend down. Luke cleared his throat uncomfortably from beside Calum, “Guys, are you seriously debating this?”

Michael went on as though he hadn’t heard the blonde boy, “Whenever Ashton and Eve are on tour with us, you can hear them banging in the hotel room three doors down. And yet I’ve never heard Y/N make a single noise.”

“Hey!” Ashton yelled from where he sat at his drum kit, adjusting the positioning of his cymbals, “Don’t get my girlfriend involved in this! We’re not that loud.”

“Yeah you are,” Cal scoffed, leaning his head back on the couch, “Look, just cause you haven’t heard my girlfriend doesn’t mean I’m shit in bed.”

Michael snorted, “It kind of does. Just saying.”

Calum rolled his brown eyes, forcing himself to disregard whatever Michael said. He was just jealous that Calum had a gorgeous girlfriend to fuck him on a daily basis, whereas Michael only had his hand.

“So,” Luke snapped Calum out of his thoughts, “For the cottage, I was thinking we head up the first week of August. You guys cool with that?”

There were murmured agreements in response, and just like that, the topic switched. But while Calum tried as hard as he could to listen to his mates talk about the swimming, parasailing and hiking, his mind reeled.

He was going to prove Michael wrong.


Calum unlocked the front door to his shared apartment a few hours later, traipsing inside. Immediately, the smell of lasagna invaded his nostrils, and he breathed in, smiling faintly.

As he neared the kitchen, a faint humming sound could be heard, and his smile only grew wider. He stood in the doorway silently, studying his beautiful girlfriend.

Her hair had been tossed up into a messy bun, a few strands falling out and framing her face perfectly. She wore a coal black pencil skirt–the one she knew drove him crazy–and a light blue blouse, which had been untucked from the waistband and now fell free of the confinement. She’d scrubbed her makeup off, and she gleamed, radiating beauty. Calum was suddenly overcome with adoration.

In front of her was a plate with enough lasagna for two. She was sprinkling a few basil leaves onto the creation, wanting to make it presentable. She was such a perfectionist.

He walked up to her slowly, not wanting to make any noise. Then, without warning, he wrapped his arms around her waist, feeling her jump. She gasped, “Calum Thomas, you scared the shit out of me!”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Calum said, smiling lightly and nuzzling his face into the back of her neck. He kissed the beginning of her spine as she relaxed into his arms, brushing her hands free of any leftover basil spice.

“I made lasagna,” she announced quietly as Calum’s fingers played with the white buttons of her blue blouse. He hummed appreciatively, his fingers moving so that he was now running them up and down her sides daintily. She suppressed a shudder.

“Stop,” she whispered, turning around in her boyfriend’s grip. She wrapped her arms around his neck, “How was Luke’s?”

Calum shrugged, making a face, remembering Michael’s taunting, “Same old. I’m just glad to be back here–,” on cue, his hand slipped down her body and gave her backside a firm squeeze, making her jump, “–with you.”

He grinned cheekily at her and she just rolled her eyes, blowing some hair off of her forehead. She leaned in, pressing a curt kiss to Calum’s full lips, before turning back around and reaching for the tray of lasagna.

She wriggled out of his grasp–much to his dismay–and walked over to the table, setting the meal down and retrieving cutlery from the drawers of the kitchen. Calum sighed dramatically before opening the cupboard to his right and pulling out two glasses, handing them to her. He then opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of ginger ale.

“Any news on the cottage?” Y/N asked, pulling out her chair and sitting down. Calum tried to pry his eyes away from the perfect curve of her ass as he walked over, setting the bottle of ginger ale down and slipping into his own seat.

He’d been with Y/N for three years, six months, and eighteen days–not that he kept track. Even before they’d begun dating, Calum had loved her since he was sixteen years old–and now here he was, at twenty-five, touring the world and sleeping beside the most beautiful girl on the planet almost every night. Y/N was studying at university to become a teacher, maybe even a professor, and Calum couldn’t have been prouder.

“Yeah,” Cal replied, holding out his plate as she sliced a piece of lasagna, giving it to him. He cut a small piece before putting it in his mouth and swallowing quickly, “First week of August, I think. Will you be able to go?”

Y/N stopped chewing her own slice. Pausing and thinking for a moment, she replied, “Two weeks. Yeah, summer classes end next week. I’m good.”

Calum smiled widely at her before biting into his lasagna again and humming, his eyes rolling into the back of his head, “Fuck, I love your cooking.”

His girlfriend giggled and pouted playfully, “I knew that was why you’re with me.”

“For sure,” Calum replied, swallowing heavily and taking a sip of his drink, “Not because I’m totally in love with you, or anything like that.”

“Shut up, Thomas,” Y/N rolled her eyes, trying to pass off her embarrassment and hopefully avert Calum’s attention away from her blossoming blush. She drummed her fingers on the table, triggering dirty thoughts in Calum’s mind of what exactly he’d do to her on the table–and what he’d done before.

He shook his head free of those thoughts as Y/N’s eyes lit up suddenly, “I forgot to tell you. Hoskins returned our assignments today, and I got a ninety-three!”

“Are you serious?” Calum almost choked on his food. His girlfriend nodded excitedly, a small squeak slipping out. Covering his mouth and coughing a bit, Calum finally regained his composure, sputtering hoarsely, “That’s amazing sweetheart. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Y/N tucked a fallen wisp of hair behind her ear and gazed at him with bright eyes.

Maybe it was the way her eyes widened, the mischievous glimmer within them. Maybe it was that fucking pencil skirt and the blouse that had somehow come undone at the very top, exposing a small amount of cleavage. Hell, maybe it was the lasagna.

But Calum was suddenly pushing his chair back, hearing it echo out a loud screech. Y/N looked up at him in confusion and opened her mouth, a mere rush of air escaping her before Calum was beside her, tugging her up.

“What are–?”

His lips were on hers, swallowing her sentence. She let out a sigh into his mouth, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders. Calum quickly reached for the buttons on her top, undoing them hastily and cursing when he was unable to get the last one. In his rush, he simply ripped it.

“Cal!” His girlfriend scolded him, but he shut her up again with another longing kiss. After a few second, he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, “I fucking love you.”

And before she could respond, he picked her up and brought her into the bedroom to show her how much of it he really meant.


“How could you have not enjoyed that?” Ashton looked at his girlfriend as though she had just stolen all of his Vegemite. In response, Eve just giggled, shoving her boyfriend playfully as the group of six walked along the dusty path back to their cottage.

“I didn’t like it either,” Michael chimed in, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He’d been ecstatic when he’d walked into the cottage, only to find a PS4 and a flat screen television mounted on the wall.

But Ashton had dragged him off onto a nature walk along with the rest of the group. Calum hadn’t minded, even though he was a bit tired from the long drive to the cottage.

“Ash, baby, not everyone likes hiking,” Eve explained gently. She winced and leaned down, scratching at her left thigh, “I think I got, like, seventeen mosquito bites.”

“I’m sorry,” Ashton pulled Eve in by her arm and planted a kiss on her forehead. Luke, Michael and Calum all pretended to dry-heave onto the path.

“Oh, stop it,” Calum’s actions merited a swat on the arm from Y/N. She was watching Ash and Eve with a fond expression on her face, seeming almost longing. Calum grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, planting a short kiss on her palm.

“Not you too!” Luke cried. In a childish manner, he ran past the rest of the group down the trail, where the cottage stood in plain view. Halfway there, he tripped on a rock and stumbled, causing everyone to laugh.

“Awkward turtle,” Y/N grinned before taking off, catching up to Luke and helping him stand, smiling up at him once he did so. Calum wasn’t even jealous.

All he could do was stare at his gorgeous girl. The way her denim shorts hugged her ass perfectly, how her striped yellow and white tank top showed just the right amount of chest. She wore black Nike running shoes, and a camera hung from her neck, filled with photos of Ashton and the scenery.

He’d insisted on taking a photo with practically every tree in the forest.

The sun was setting by the time the group reached the moderately sized cottage. There were three bedrooms–one for Eve and Ashton, for Michael and Luke, and one for Calum and Y/N. The cottage stood facing a lake with a dock, which they hadn’t had the pleasure of exploring yet, but they would definitely take this into account tomorrow.

“Movie?” Michael yelled as soon as he walked through the door. Everyone agreed except for Ashton and Eve, who claimed that they were going to hit the sack earlier. Calum just smirked, knowing the actual reason why.

Eve was a nice girl. She had dirty blonde hair and grey eyes, along with a shower of freckles decorating her face. She was almost as tall as Ashton, and was much more of an introvert than her boyfriend.

But fuck, was she ever loud.

“I’m going to change,” Y/N announced quickly before sauntering up the steps of the cottage.

Calum watched her hips sway as she climbed, subconsciously licking his lips. He only snapped out of it when Luke snickered and shoved him forcefully.

“What movie should we watch?” Michael questioned, already crouching down to retrieve the remote from the arm of one of the black leather sofas in the living room. The room had hardwood flooring, a fireplace, and was decorated with pictures of Luke’s family from previous years of venturing up north to the lake.

“What about–?” Luke began, but Calum cut him off quickly.

“We aren’t watching Mean Girls, Lucas.”

“Why the fuck not?” Luke whined, crossing his arms and flopping down onto the couch. He grabbed a lacy decorative pillow and hugged it to his chest, pouting.

“Shut up Luke,” Michael said indifferently, as though the phrase had grown to become a reflex. Luke scoffed and simply watched the television with interest as Michael began scrolling along Netflix.

“What’s taking Y/N so long?” Calum muttered aloud accidentally.

His thoughts had strayed to the beautiful piece of ass who was probably half-naked just upstairs, a short distance away from him. The mere thought of his girlfriend in underwear send a rush of heat through Calum, and he turned around, subtly trying to conceal his growing erection, “I’ll be right back.”

Luke giggled, “Use protection!” He called out as Calum began climbing the stairs.

When he was halfway up the flight, Calum heard Michael tease, “What for? Y/N’s so quiet you wouldn’t even know they were fucking!”

This made Calum freeze and clench his fists. He had half a mind to storm back downstairs and punch Michael, but then he decided that he would use this as motivation–it spurred him on.

Y/N gasped when Calum opened the door, seeming afraid that it would be someone else. When she saw her boyfriend enter, she relaxed, dropping the tank top she had clutched to her chest a moment before.

“Jesus,” she breathed, “You’ve got to stop doing that.”

“Sorry darling,” Calum chuckled sheepishly before crossing his arms over his body and pulling his shirt off swiftly. Right before the fabric obscured his eyes, he could see his girlfriend bite down on his lip, eyeing his torso briefly. He smirked to himself.

“Everything okay?” He asked, dropping his shirt to the floor and walking over to Y/N. She nodded. She wore a pain of tight black shorts that reached just below her ass, and her plain black bra was the only thing adorning her upper half. Her hair had been braided loosely, a few strands already falling out.

Calum wrapped his arms around her stomach and placed a chaste kiss on her shoulder. She fiddled with the top in her hands.

“You sure?” He asked, “You seem stressed.”

“I’m not stressed,“ Y/N sighed, “Okay, I’m a bit worried. Just–just about classes starting up again.”

Calum sponged a trail of kisses up her neck, shocked at his girlfriend’s words, “What? Sweetheart, you just began your break.”

“I know,” Y/N said, defeated, “And that’s what sucks. What if I don’t do well Cal? I want to teach, I want to be successful. What if I fuck it up?”

“You’re being so irrational right now,” Calum said sternly. He spun her around, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking down at her, “You’re stressed, and you don’t have to be. You only have–what?–one year left? You won’t fuck anything up, because you want this. And what you want, you get, remember? It worked with me.”

He added the last bit cheekily, referring to how she had pursued him and not the other way around. She’d been confident, even being the one to ask him out. And now Calum couldn’t get enough of the goddess standing in front of him.

Y/N cracked a smile and wrapped her arms around Calum. When their bare skin met, Calum suppressed a shiver. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of his girlfriend’s head, his hand dipping lower on her back slowly.

“What do you say I lessen some of this stress?” He murmured, smirking. She pulled back, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Now? Calum!”

“What?” He grinned, his fingers finally finding her ass and kneading it roughly, just how she liked. She leaned into him subconsciously as he continued, “Come on darling. Just let me make you feel good.”

“Calum…” She warned. She looked up at him, and he stuck out his bottom lip in the pout that he knew drove her crazy. She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, her hands coming up to wrap around his neck and pull his lips down to hers.

“Fuck,” Cal groaned, “I love your lips.”

Y/N giggled lightly, pulling back just a it, her lips still brushing his as she breathed, “We have to be quiet.”

Calum let out a growl, knowing that being quiet was the opposite of what he wanted her to do. He was going to make her scream, make Michael hear it, make his bandmates never question his skills in bed again.

“Sure,” he smirked, “Whatever you say.” His intentions were a stark opposite to what she asked. It took a lot to make his girl vocal, but Calum had never been a quitter.

With that, he connected their lips again. Calum’s hands ran down the expanse of Y/N’s bare back, finally coming to rest on her ass and squeezing gently, making her sigh and lean into him. Their lips fought for dominance, Calum’s winning…as they always did.

He picked Y/N up and brought her to the bed, dropping her on it and causing her to let out a small laugh. Calum smiled at the sound, completely in love with the half-naked girl.

“God, I adore you,” Calum sighed, climbing on top of her. She smiled and tangled her fingers in his raven hair, kissing him again. His hands swept up and down her body as she subtly ground her hips up against his. He pulled back, cocking an eyebrow.

“For someone who was so against the idea a few minutes ago,” he teased, “You sure are into this.”

“Shut up, Thomas,” Y/N just rolled her eyes, bringing his mouth back to hers. She parted her lips, letting her boyfriend’s tongue slip inside. For the next few minutes, they made out, slight grinds and swivels of hips being the only alteration to the pattern.

Calum prided himself on being able to kiss her for five minutes before letting his hands wander. In fact, it was a miracle that he could go thirty seconds. He loved her body.

But once those five minutes were up, he was shot to hell. Unable to control himself, his hands slipped down her body, tugging frantically on her shorts, wanting them off.

She complied, helping him shimmy them down, leaving her in plain black panties. Calum looked down and cursed at the sight of her legs and thighs, wishing more than anything they were wrapped around his head.

“Fuck baby,” he sighed, and then he got an idea. His eyes lit up like a little boy on Christmas morning, and he grinned at her.

“Sit on my face.”

“W-what?” Y/N spluttered, taken aback at the command. Calum didn’t blame her; she’d only done it once before, and even then, it hadn’t been anything too extraordinary. Perhaps it was because that had been back in their early stages of dating, where things were still slightly awkward and new.

“Come on,” Cal coaxed, “It’ll feel good.”

She eyed him skeptically before eventually sighing, deciding that there was no use in arguing. Calum flipped them over, laying on his back, and Y/N shed her panties, inching her way up his body. Finally, her centre was situated right above Calum’s face.

“Such a pretty pink pussy,” he complimented, staring at her swollen clit and her slick lips. From where he lay, he saw her put her hands above his head and look down at him fearfully.

“Don’t worry,” he said softly, his arms winding around her thighs, “It’ll feel nice, trust me.”

With that, he dove in.

She was already shaking. Calum licked a stripe up her core, sucking briefly on her clit before repeating the action. She gasped lightly, but even then, it was almost inaudible. Calum wanted her to scream.

“Come on baby,” he murmured against her clit, sending vibrations up her body and making her shudder, “Louder.”

“Calum, they’re,” she gasped again as he sucked on her lips, collecting all of her arousal, “–they’re right downstairs.”

Calum smirked. He knew. And that was precisely why he wanted her to be louder. Instead of responding, he poked his tongue out, trailing it around her hole, teasing her by dipping it in, only to retract it just as quickly. Her right hand was gripping the headboard, the other buried in his hair as she bit her lip to stay quiet.

“Calum, please,” she whispered, grinding her body slightly down on his face. He dug his fingers into her thighs and she closed her eyes, trying to control herself.

Calum took the term “eating out” to an entirely new level. As soon as the words passed her lips, he was nipping at her clit and thrusting his tongue inside of her at a speedy pace. She gasped yet again, but this time, it was a bit louder, mixed in with a slight whine.

Calum smiled smugly. Baby steps.

“I’m going to come,” Y/N whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut. Calum could feel her body tensing above him. This only spurred him on. He made loud, obscene slurping sounds as his tongue delved inside on her and his teeth grazed against her bud.

All that could be heard was the sound of faint gasps and Calum sucking up her wetness. Her fingers raked along his scalp, nails digging in slightly as she gnawed on her lip, the pink skin turning white. Her knuckles matched in colour as she gripped the headboard tightly.

“Calum,” she breathed, her body slumping as she came.

Calum watched her intently. Her head hung, allowing him to see her face. Her eyes were closed lightly, and her mouth formed an ‘o’ as her climax rocked her body. God, she was beautiful when she came.

But Calum still wasn’t satisfied. Because she wasn’t convulsing on top of him, she wasn’t moaning loudly, she wasn’t yelling out curses like he wanted her to.

So, he guessed, if you don’t succeed, try again.

Calum wrapped his arms around Y/N’s waist, flipping them over quickly. Her eyes were closed, still basking in the aftermath of her orgasm. Slowly, they opened, only to meet Calum’s stony, hard ones.

“What was that?” He practically hissed, “I said ‘louder’, didn’t I?”

“What?” She said meekly, her eyes tired. His hand snaked down her body, finding her sensitive clit and rubbing harshly, her pussy wet with the fluids she had just released.

She cried out, arching her body into his as a reflex, and Calum grinned deviously. There. That was what he wanted. Now, if only he could get her to make that noise again.

“Calum,” she breathed, “What are you–what are you doing? I’m done.”

“Well I’m fucking not,” he growled, ducking his head to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses along her neck. He sucked on her collarbones, sure to leave marks afterwards.

“Up,” he barked, pushing himself off of her. Wearily, she sat up, and Calum’s arms wrapped around her torso, fingers undoing the clasp of her bra effortlessly. He gripped her waist, pulling her onto his lap.

“Let’s try this again,” he said sternly, “Louder.”

She whimpered in response, and he moved to the edge of the bed. There was a visible tent in his shorts, but he didn’t care. He wanted to let Michael know who was pleasuring her so well.

Calum positioned Y/N on his right thigh. She looked at him confusedly and opened her mouth, no doubt to ask him what he was doing. But she cut herself off with her own gasp as Calum began tapping his foot against the floor.

“Oh my God,” she breathed as she bounced. Calum could see the friction making her go crazy.

The denim of his shorts rubbed up against her oversensitive clit, making her jaw slacken and her eyes close. She was completely naked on top of him, and Calum fondled her breasts, providing more pleasure.

Her hands shot out, palms gripping onto his tan shoulders. Her head fell back as her body slowly became acquainted to the divine feeling, and Calum couldn’t help but to smirk at her.

“Feel good?” He breathed hotly in her ear, his thumbs tweaking her nipples. She nodded frantically, short, breathy gasps escaping her lips.

Calum growled in response, and a hard smack landed on her ass. She squealed and jumped forward, her eyes shooting open and staring at her boyfriend in shock.

“Then fucking show it,” he hissed. She sighed as his shorts kept rubbing against her clit, stimulating her. Calum snarled, “Louder.”

“Calum,” she whined, and he smiled in satisfaction. He could tell her second orgasm was approaching. Her eyebrows crept up her forehead and her body was stiffening. Calum’s foot continued its relentless tapping, bouncing her.

“Do you like that, baby?” He questioned, leaning in to bite on her shoulder lightly.

“Yes!” She cried out, her voice cracking slightly. Calum grabbed her hips once he felt her pace slow down, knowing she was close. He moved her forwards and backwards forcefully, the sensation becoming almost too much for her to handle. She moaned and let her forehead drop against his shoulder, her second climax taking over.

She shook in his arms and let small, breathy curses out every so often. “Calum, Calum,” she kept whimpering, and his heart swelled.

Once she had finished, he picked her up and laid her on the bed. There was a wet patch on his shorts, but he didn’t give a damn. Shedding his bottoms, he stepped out of them, also pulling off his boxers. He crawled onto the bed where his spent girlfriend lay, his fingers caressing her hip as he leaned down.

He took her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled back slightly, stretching it. Releasing it, he brushed his fingertips up her side, “One more time, baby.”

“C-Calum, I can’t,” she eked out. He chuckled, “You can. Face down, ass up. Come on.”

She didn’t move. For a moment, Calum feared that he had pushed her too far, but then she whimpered, turning onto her stomach slowly. She mounted to her knees, pushing her ass into the air. Calum smiled.

“Good girl,” he cooed, placing himself behind her and rubbing soft circles into her back. He leaned down, trailing his tongue down her spine and feeling her shiver.

“Last one, sweetheart,” he assured her, his hands massaging her cheeks, “Be as loud as you can.”

He positioned himself at her dripping pussy and pushed in with a grunt. She cried out at the contact, her core spent and sensitive from her two previous orgasms. He tight walls hugged him like a blanket, and she closed her eyes.

Finally, Cal thought. He groaned as she clenched around him, his member hard and completely sheathed within her. Slowly, he pulled back out, only to thrust back in with force.

“Calum!” She yelled, her fingers digging into the duvet, twisting it and squeezing, her knuckles whitening. Calum chuckled, continuing at the relentless pace.

“God, you feel amazing,” he growled, his hips beginning to piston in and out of her. He took a moment to pause, admiring the round globes of her ass and her back as he drove into her. The right side of her face was pressed against the mattress, her hair now completely free of any elastics. She was magnificent.

“I love you, darling,” Calum grunted, speeding up even further. He repeatedly sunk into her at an inhumane pace, the pleasure amounting to something that he only ever felt when he was with her.

His balls slapped against her skin with each thrust. Now, she was muttering curses and moaning out his name every time Calum rammed into her. He moaned loudly, matching her pitch.

“I love you, Calum,” she whimpered loudly, her fingers twitching. Her body tensed up and her sweet pussy clenched, squeezing his shaft like a lifeline. Calum cursed and continued on, determined to get her to her final high of the night.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he ordered breathlessly.

She shot off into a pool of pleasure, Calum’s words tipping her off the edge. He watched her body as she came, how it shook and convulsed underneath him, how her hips shuddered under his fingertips. Her eyes squeezed shut.

“Calum, fuck!” She screamed. He was too caught up in pleasure to even acknowledge the fact that she’d finally screamed his name, too busy to be smug.

Because at that moment, her pussy locked down on his length, clenching and unclenching repeatedly. And Calum let go, releasing inside of her, her fluttering walls milking him for everything he was worth. He stiffened and a yell tore from his throat, shooting his load deep inside her warm passage.

And then he slumped on top of her. She was shuddering with the aftermath of her orgasm, small whimpers falling from her mouth. Calum wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close.

“’M sorry,” he murmured, “Did I go too far?”

She responded after a few seconds, “No. Was–was just unexpected, that’s all.”

“M-kay,” Calum sighed, nuzzling his face into her neck tiredly. Gingerly, she turned around, but she smiled sleepily at him, “We should do that more often.”

His eyes crinkled as he smiled, “Yeah?”


“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She giggled softly before there was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” Calum called out, his voice slightly hoarse. Y/N buried her face into the crook of his neck.

“It’s Michael!” came a voice from behind the wood, “And I just wanted to say that you’re both disgusting! Oh, and Calum? I hate you!”

Y/N giggled and Calum chuckled lowly. Michaels footsteps faded away. Calum looked down at his wonderful girlfriend, smiling at how serene she appeared.

And then…

“We didn’t use a condom, did we?”


And that’s how Calum came to hold the most adorable little girl in his arms. She had dark, chestnut hair like his, his eyes, but her mother’s nose and smile. Her thumb was in her mouth as she slept.

Calum set her down in her little twin sized bed, dodging all of the toys that littered the floor. She was a spoiled little princess, but Calum wouldn’t have wanted her any other way. She was one of the two things he loved most in this world.

And then Calum snuck back out of her room and tiptoed down the hall. He pushed open the door to his bedroom, seeing the other thing he loved most curled up, her hair tied in a messy bun. She wore a tank top and pyjama shorts, and she was also fast asleep.

Calum eased into bed beside her, sighing as he wrapped an arm around her. He felt as though he could scale a mountain and scream at the top of his lungs, scream how grateful he was, how amazing his life had turned out.

Louder, and louder. Until his voice betrayed him. Until his throat was raw and his eyes were shiny with emotion.



Hope you liked it! Feedback is always appreciated! :)

yyyyYYYYYY'ALLLLL I had a freaking intensive dream about Rad Likes Robots and I kinda wanna cry???? ;;;;w;;;;

[[It’s a long ‘un this time too j f c;;;;]]

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Dead end - Spy!Calum:

Originally posted by malumst

A/n:Hey! Dropping this lil au I’ve had in mind for so long. Hope it’s ok, and I suck at spy names so please excuse that :3 also this was all done on mobile so I’ll try to fix it up once I’m home :3 enjoy!

word count: 3,4k

Plot line: what happens when your boyfriend not only turns out to be a rival spy, but your new target.


“I’ve got him, sir”

You put down your speaker, your hands still tightly grasping the gun you held up. Your feet circled him, cornering him just like a predator terrorizing their prey. Only, he wasn'ta helpless prey; he was a predator himself. His held up gun was mirroring yours, his stance just as tense and alarmed as yours.

It wasn’t your first time standing in that position, and it was definitely far from being your last. However, nothing in your years of training could ever prepare you to face the situation at hand; your gun pointed straight at your boyfriend.

People had lied, saying that the warmest eyes were the brown ones. They had been wrong to assume that those chocolate orbs held nothing but the utmost tenderness in their comforting color. Because as you stood in front of his charging gun, you could swear that no shade of eyes has ever looked at you with as much ferocity as his did at that very moment. The fond eyes you had spent nights assimilating to the earthy ground and to the strong woody forests, held no trace of the warmness that had filled them just one night ago.

“Drop the gun.” You whispered, not trusting your voice. Your hands were shaking but you pushed it to the back of your mind. He didn’t bulge. Nor did he lower his weapon or change his hard glare, his jaw tight as he gave out no reaction to your words.

“Drop the gun and put your hands up, or I will shoot!” Your voice was booming in full force. Your heart was thumping against your chest like the wings of a hummingbird, feeling it constrict as you let your words sink in. And for what could be the first time, you were questioning if you could really own up to your words and pull the trigger.

Could you?

Before you could utter out any other threats, your voice got caught up in your throat as your ears were filled with the familiar, alarming buzz. Your eyes searched for him, his eyes already analyzing your stance. And judging from the distraught look on your face, he could tell the ambush was not from your doing.

You knew that the exits were locked, and you were growing painfully aware of the sound filling up the room, announcing that the ticking bomb you were locked in with was not going to wait much. Your breath got caught up in your chest, helplessness creeping on you as your feet stayed glued to the shaking ground.

Quicker than an eye bat, Calum launched himself at you, his body weighing you down and sending you to the solid ground. His body covered yours as he tried to shelter you as best as he could from the massive destruction threatening the two of you.

His arms were around you, his face hidden in the crook of your neck. Your arms were folded against your chest, your entire body fighting to stop your limbs from shaking. Your eyes were closed shut, and you found yourself thinking it that was it. You didn’t know how powerful the bomb was, and you couldn’t tell if it was about to stop any time soon. So you held onto his body for dear life, thinking that maybe it wasn’t so bad if the sweet warmth of his body was the last thing you felt.

Somwhere between your tumbling thoughts, you failed to notice that the commotion had stopped.

Once the deafening sound faded, Calum’s ears still ringing from the explosion, he lightly lifted himself off of you. He stared at you with confusion etched all over his beautiful features. He couldn’t believe himself; had he really just endangered himself to shield a spy assigned to kill him? Still, he couldn’t help himself, not when he had seen a trace of the person he had kissed the night before; not when he had finally seen a glimpse of you, and not the cold-blooded killer that was on the verge of pulling the trigger.

Not leaving you a chance to say a word, Calum quickly lifted his body off of yours, disappearing in the cloud of smoke. Your head was throbbing, lungs burning due to the smoke -the aftermath of that damn bomb.

You couldn’t process what was going on. All you could remember was glimpses of your backup team rushing it, their words falling into your deaf ears as you were still dazed. Your body was quickly lifted from the cold ground, the familiarity of Luke’s arms easing up your nerves.

“She needs to get checked up! And who the fuck set up that god damned bomb!” His voice, however strong, didn’t shake you one bit. You were used to it. In fact, it brought up some sort of comfort. That was the voice you heard every time you went on a mission, guiding you and telling you exactly when to retreat. Which was exactly why he was angry, even livid -at himself more than anything. How could he not have seen it coming?

“We’ll get him next time.”

Miraculously, you were released no more than an hour later, and you didn’t even need to beg. Once the special doctor had comfirmed that you weren’t injured by the explosion, assuring -a very annoying- Luke that your head and lungs were just fine, you were released to go get some rest.

Heading towards your apartment, it didn’t feel right to step into what had become your sanctuary; your getaway with the person you had dared to call a lover, a friend.

Your relationship with Calum was most natural thing you’ve had in your life, and undoubtedly the one thing you had been so proud of. Never had you imagined that you’d be able to have something so normal and genuine, but somehow you did. Calum had brought up feelings you never knew existed; feelings you thought had been erased by your training.

It hadn’t been planned in any way, and maybe that was the beauty of it all. You didn’t plan on running into this beautiful man, and you certainly didn’t plan on falling in love with the stars in his eyes and the constellations joining the moles peppering his brown skin.

You had been hesitant at first, fearful that your lifestyle would be a constant barrier between the two of you. But somehow, that same hesitance he had displayed gave you enough faith to jump with your eyes closed. You had both been skeptical at first, knowing first-hand that the world is filled with many horrors that put a hold on your trusting abilities. But feelings were catching and hearts melted into each other before you could even stop yourselves.

You hadn’t known it at the time, but your hidden backgrounds had done your relationship well. Secrecy was necessary when it came to your lifestyle, but it came in handy more than once. Calum had never pushed it when you had to leave late at night due to getting called in urgently, just like you never did when he came home during unholy hours of the night.

Knowing that you kept secrets yourself, it never felt right for one of you to push the other to reveal anything. You never questioned it when one of you came back scattered in bruises of which the origin was unknown. Instead, you had learned to tend to each other without asking for too many details.

You were each other’s rocks, your home turning into some sort of haven; a safe place where you didn’t have to keep cold façades and guarded hearts. His arms were always welcoming and loving whenever you came back after a failed mission, ready to sooth you and calm down your erractic heart. His softly hummed lullabies shushed you, anchoring you down and making you forget about the horrors you had witnessed.

And you were always more than willing to repay the favor; cradling him in your arms every time the ghosts of his past came too close for comfort, peppering kisses along the smooth skin of his forehead until the crease in his eyebrows disappeared and he was long lost in a deep slumber.

Calum was the angel in your nightmares, and you were his.

Aside from your classified activities , your relationship was as normal as it could’ve been. You’ve had it all; the bashful stolen glances at each other in the early stages of your relationship; the meaningless fights you forgot about minutes after; the clumsiness and awkwardness of moving in together for the first time; the slow dances late at night when the cruelty of insomnia wouldn’t let the two of you get some much needed rest.

You’ve had it all. But it didn’t matter; none of it did. He wasn’t Calum for you anymore, he wasn’t your boyfriend and lover. He was one thing, and one thing only.

Your next target.

Your eyes darted up from the framed picture you had been examining, the finest hairs in your neck rising upon the new realization that you weren’t alone.

Acting on instinct, you whipped around once you felt the close presence, your foot aiming high towards the intruder’s ribcage. None other than Calum was standing there, his arms fast as he caught your ankle in a tight grip, sending you to the ground in a swift motion.

You knew he was brilliant at what he did; his reputation reaching the ears of everyone in the business. But actually fighting him was a whole new thing.

You were back on your feet in no time. You were running high on adrenaline, flailing everything in sight towards him. You were fully on attack mode, Calum settling for defense as he managed to avoid your every offense.

Every time you threw a punch his way, you couldn’t bare to look at his face; you couldn’t stand the calmness he displayed and the carefulness in his moves, as if he was purposely trying not to harm you more than necessary. It angered you to no end; you were livid, your burning rage fueling your erratic attacks. Beyond that, you were felt hurt, and confused, and betrayed -not that you’d ever let it show.

Suddenly, Calum’s demeanor changed upon realizing that you weren’t about to slow down any time soon. And with the flip of a switch, he was fully attacking you, leaving you startled as you tried to recover from his abrupt change.

His hits were raining at you, instantly cornering you and trapping you to the ground. His hands were pinning your wrists to the wooden ground, leaving your legs free to move -luckily for you. Although, that too wasn’t very helpful, as his legs instantly trapped yours between his strong thighs the minute you attempted to hit.

“Would you fucking calm down! I’m only here to talk!” Calum hissed at you, his breathing as frantic as yours.

“I have nothing to say to a liar like you!” You fired back, anger staining your every word, your eyes never breaking contact with his hard stare.

“Oh please,” he scoffed, “As if you haven’t been lying yourself? You’re just as guilty of this as I am!”

That seemed to have shut you up. You knew you had lied and deceived him as well. You were both stuck in a bloody mess. And it was painfully ironic; how you tore your walls down in front of your rival; how you foolishly fell for the enemy himself.

“Did you know?“ You barely whispered, finally voicing the question that had been stuck in your mind, allowing the hurt to lace your words but only for mere seconds.

“Did you know who I was before? Were you having fun with your sick and twisted game?” You were smiling at him despite the heavy weight of your words. But your smile was twisted in a sickening way he couldn’t recognize on your usually warm features.

“Yeah? Sing me to sleep so you could stab while I’m -”

“Shut the hell up!” Calum roared, his fingers digging in the soft flesh of your wrists. “Had I been planning to kill you, you wouldn’t even be here!” His stare was hard and firm, eyebrows drown together at his words.

“I only knew when you did; when you were introduced as my next target.” His glare softened, in hopes of getting you to trust that he was being painfully truthful. He had only known you as the doting and warm (y/n); the only person he cared so deeply for; the reason for the overwhelming guilt that flooded his mind whenever he was reminded that he was betraying your trust.

However, he was well informed about the Pearl. The outstanding and incredibly cunning Spy, the well-known agent that defied standards and broke worldwide systems. He never needed to see a face -she wasn’t relevant to any of his missions.

Well that was until he was handed a picture of his sweet girl, a red X marking her as his next target. Of course he had tried to understand, hell even object. He was in no way harming his girl. His words were firm and full of anger, demanding to know what the hell was going on! The given answer was short.

“That’s the Pearl. Your next mission.”

“Is that what you came here to do?Huh? Finish your mission?” Your wicked smile didn’t falter; you couldn’t risk letting any emotion leaking through your stone-cold expression. “

I’ve heard a lot about you - viper . Your reputation exeeds you; I hear you’ve got a remarkable aim.“

Of course you had done your homework, studying every aspect of your new threat. The shock of finding out that the person you had left sleeping in your bed that morning was the exact same person you had to take down had had an undeniable effect on you. But you had to bury it deep, at least until you were sure of what you were doing. Calum’s -no, the Viper’s - file was quite impressive, if not intimidating. Simply put, he was guaranteed to find you even of you hid in the bottom of the ocean, and his bullet wouldn’t miss you even in the most tense, nerve-wracking situations. He had the ability to completely disconnect until his mission was finished.

So why was it hard to do so now?

“You never miss. Surely you won’t miss me now th-”

“Would you cut it out! I’m not here to terminate you.” Calum growled, growing extremely frustrated by your cold façade.

“Well if you won’t, then I will.” In mere seconds, you quickly switched your position, taking advantage of the moment his grip loosened a bit. You were swift to reach for the ring dagger stuffed in your boots, holding it tightly against his neck in one hand, the other trapping his arms above his head.

“So that’s it?” He breathed, his words fanning over your face at the closeness. “What we had isn’t worth discussing before you kill your boyfriend.”

He gave you a lopsided grin as he spat out the last word with as much venom as he could, adding a little sweetheart with an equally wicked smile.

“We had nothing! The likes of us cannot have relationships!” You hissed back, your stomach churning when the tip of the dagger grazed over the smooth skin of his neck. You had done worse. But then again you never remotely cared about the person lying at the other end of your weapon.

“Maybe not a functioning relationship, but you can’t tell me there wasn’t any genuine love!”

“It doesn’t matter! We were lying to ourselves!” You fought back, hating how he was getting under your skin. You weren’t supposed to care. You weren’t supposed to show.

“How so?” Calum’s anger resurfaced again, hating your accusation more than he liked to admit. “Please do enlighten me, because as far as I know I haven’t been this truthful with anyone!”

“We were lying and sneaking around! We built up lies around ourselves and our lives!” Your words were rushed, your grip on his getting stronger with each spoken word. His words were cutting you open, and you weren’t used to the feeling. You weren’t used to being hurt in a non-physical way.

“You can try to tell me that we deceived each other but you can’t deny that we were our true selves!”

“We were NOT! We built up everything about lies, we- we deluded ourselves and believed that we could have something so normal and pure-”

“I presume it was all a part of your act, then?” He retorted, aware of the fact that your grip was loose enough for him to escape.

Why was he still pushing you though? Why did he keep going? Maybe a part of his just refused to believe that the one thing he cherished more than anything was crumbling down. Maybe he just couldn’t bare the burning feeling that rushed through his veins every second your gaze on him remained cold and unphased.

Maybe he just needed to know that his (y/n) was there.

“Was it maybe fun to lie to my face every time you confessed your love? Yeah? Since it was all fak-”

“SHUT UP!” You screamed at loud as you could, managing to statle him by your outburst. Your jaw was tight; hating how your breath was fast and uneven, how your eyes were watering and your tears were staining the fabric of his shirt before you could even stop it. You hated how he had yet again broken your walls down, leaving you with no shield.

“shut up. Shut- Of course it was genuine. All of it.” Your scream had died down, turning into a soft whisper. Your eyes avoided his at all cost, fearing that you’d wear down the minute you’d meet his hopeful gaze. “that’s the problem”

In a swift motion, you lifted yourself off of him, carelessly throwing the blade away. You rushed around, picking up an empty gym bag.

“You need to leave”

“What?” Calum propped himself on his elbows, watching your movements with utter confusion. “Where the fuck am I supposed to go?”

“I don’t care!“ You screamed back a him. You were rushing around the small flat, picking up clothes from all around. Yours, some of his; you weren’t analyzing your actions, and truthfully, you didn’t mind having a few articles of his to remind uou of what home felt like. ” Anywhere! Go to Asia, hide in Africa, Antarctica! Anywhere, just stay low”

“Oh come on! You don’t think running will solve a thing, do you?” Calum groaned, lifting himself up from the floor. He knew it was crucial, but running away was never an open option.

“Of course not!” You whipped around, feeling frustrated and helpless all at once. “I’m not stupid enough to believe that I can actually hide. I know that no matter what, I’ll never truly disappear from your radars.”

You dropped the bag from your hand, following Calum as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “But I know that if I ever come across you, I will have to execute my orders. Just like you won’t have a choice but to kill me.”

You dropped on your knees in front of him, carefully taking his hand in yours. You allowed the tiniest smile on your face when he tightly gripped your hand in his warm one.

“Maybe- maybe this doesn’t have to be it. Maybe we can get our chance some other time, maybe then we won’t have to lie about a thing.” Your other hand traveled up his arm, following his shoulder until you rested it on his jaw, savoring the feel of his soft skin against the pads of your fingertips.

“But we can’t have that right now. We’re at a dead end.” You added with a sigh, your heart feeling heavy as Calum nodded along. He understood.

You stood back from his safe and comforting embrace, begging yourself to stay strong, at least until he was out of sight.

“Be safe.” You whispered lastly at him, picking up your bag and marching out of the door.

Calum couldn’t bring himself to look up as you walked out, not when it might as well be the last time. All he could think about was how fucking ironic it was to fall for you out of everyone else; how he wouldn’t trade it for any other thing.

jieun is tired of your shit

2017 Phan

I like how the phandom has decided that 2017 is the year Dan and Phil will come out, move and get a dog (also possibly get married but like honestly isn’t that supposed to happen in 2022?). And whenever Dan and Phil say they’ll do anything (upload a video, do a joint lveshow etc) we get really excited and we’re like ‘YES, this is IT, guys. They are coming out as a couple. They are anouncing that they got a puppy, they got engaged and that they will soon move. I know it. I just KNOW it. I CAN FEEL IT!’. And then it ends up being just another pleasant, domestic, funny video and we just stand there like ‘wut’ for a bit and then we find a new thing to scream about (eg THEY WERE NOT WEARING ANY PANTS)


🥀 lgbt make-up for an lgbt gal!💐

3 selfies?? from two different days??? yiKES…. 

i think (sorry if i’m wrong vjwhvbg pls…) i was tagged by: @gaymyg @1honeybf @younhgyun nd @17pjm 

no offence but i have like 2 friends on here this whole tagging malarky is TORTURE fnvhidsj but i guess i’ll tag @wiseok @barefacedtae @hobitaki @9taegi nd @1iebling 💖✨🌷


Fic Request: 
“Could you do one where the reader is marks younger sister [ like 7-8] except when she’s busy in her room dark comes out and comes in her room and she sees him and she forces him to play tea party ?” 

Originally posted by lum1natrix

He was free of that wretched whelp’s clutches. 
Dark rolled his shoulders, cracking his neck as he sighed free air. 
Mark was clawing at the insides of his head, pulling on the restraints that Dark had placed on the imbecile’s conscious. 
He’ll no doubt get free, Dark will give the worm enough credit in his attempts to gain control. 
But Mark wouldn’t be quick enough. Dark had time to do as he pleased. 
So, where should he begin his day? 
Somewhere in the house, there was a gentle giggle. Dark’s head snapped towards the sound. 
Mark bellowed inside his mind. His voice muffled by Dark’s influence. 
“Interesting,” Dark said as he started towards the noise. “What are you hiding, Mark? Is there something you don’t want me to see?” 
Another small laugh radiated through the house, leading Dark to a room adorn with stuffed toys and brightly colored walls. 
Confusion raked Dark’s mind. Wait, this wasn’t Mark’s house. Where the hell was he?
A little head looked up at Dark from the middle of the room. A small girl was seated by a tiny set of chairs and a table. In those chairs were various stuffed toys, that each had small plates with plastic food on them. 
“Mark!” The girl yelled excitedly. “Come join the tea-party!” 
Dark’s mind whirled. Who was this….imp? 
The girl got up and ran to Dark, grabbing his hand and yanking him into the room. 
Dark felt his other half stiffen in his mind. Fear taking over Mark’s conscious as the girl smiled up at the entity. 
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” She exclaimed cheerfully. 
“What is fun about pretend tea?” That was the only thought that emerged from Dark’s mind. He was just as confused about himself as Mark was. 
The girl giggled, “It’s always fun! You can have has much cake and tea as you want.” 
But then the girl frowned slightly, “Do you prefer coffee?” 
Dark blinked. Why was this goblin still clutching his hand? 
Why wasn’t he doing anything about this goblin clutching his hand?!

Her name is (Y/N)! Mark yelled, his anger giving him enough strength to talk clearly.
The girl, (Y/N), released his hand and looked up at him with wide, worried eyes. 
“Is everything ok?” She asked and Dark felt something twitched in his chest. 
“Uhh, everything is fine.” He found himself saying. “Do you mind telling me where I am?” 
“You’re at Mum’s house, silly.” (Y/N) replied. “Babysitting,” Her voice became bitter at the word and Dark chuckled. 
“Ahh, I understand now.” He said, grinning. “Say, how fast can you run?” 
Mark made a ruckus in Dark’s mind, but the entity shut him out. Smiling warmly as (Y/N) shrugged. “Well, how about we play a game of hide and seek-tag? Where you hide, I find you and have to chase you?” 
It has been a while since he was in any sort of cat-and-mouse game. Dark found the thought very appealing. The child screaming, running as he- 
“No, we’re playing tea-party!” (Y/N) said stubbornly. 
Dark raised as eyebrow, crouching so he was somewhat at eye-level with the dwarf. 
“Oh? And what if I want to play something else?” Dark challenged. 
“Well you can’t,” The girl spat bitterly. “You’re playing with me!” 
Before Dark could utter another word, (Y/N) stomped to her side of the table and plopped down on the carpet. 
She crossed her arms and waited for Dark to move. The entity growled quietly, he didn’t have time for this. 
You’re not going to win, Mark chuckled. That girl can get the whole family to sit and play tea-party with her. When she wants something, she gets it. 

But Dark refused to be pushed around by a child. He stood to his full height, glaring down at the girl with black eyes.
“Like it or not, imp, I’m not going to play tea with your toys.” Dark growled, keeping his voice steady. “Now, get your ass outside before I loose my temper.”
(Y/N) poked her tongue at the entity. “You’re not the boss of me, Mark!”
Dark’s skin bristled and his fists curled into balls.
“I’m not Mark, you filthy rat!” Dark spat.
The girl recoiled under his anger, “M-Mark, what-what happened to your eyes?”
Dark faltered. His anger diminishing as he stared down at the trembling form of the child. Tears were forming and her bottom lip quivered.
Now look what you did! Mark yelled. You made her cry you fuck! I don’t expect much from you, Dark. But you could at least have the decency to not terrify a child! 
Dark grumbled, looking over at the small mirror on the girl’s wall. His eyes were completely black and a slight red glow rimmed his body.
Sighing, he calmed his anger and returned his body to normal. Taking a slow step forward, he sat by the girl’s table.
“I prefer coffee over tea,” Dark said quietly.
(Y/N) sniffled, wiping her tears away and nodding. After a moment, her terror seemed to vanish and her smile was broad, not smug or victorious, just gleefully excited. 
Dark watched as the girl pretended to pour tea into each of the tiny plastic cups around the table. 
She grinned up at Dark, “Do you want biscuits or cake with your coffee?”
Dark’s mind was whirling. Was he seriously sitting at a child’s table being asked if he wanted a fake treat? 
Just accept it and move on, Mark snapped. It’ll be over soon and you can do what you like. Just don’t hurt her. 
“Biscuit,” Dark muttered irritably and (Y/N) placed a plastic biscuit on the plate by his “coffee”. 
“Drink up!” (Y/N) said with a wide smile. She lifted her cup to her lips and pretended to sip on the drink. 
Dark took the tiny saucer and cup in his hand. The small objects sat in the palm of his hand, and when he brought the rim of the cup to his lips, he was sure he’d accidentally swallow it.

Just so you know, I’m never going to let this down. Mark said in his head.  
And Dark softly growled a warning, ignoring the confused gaze from the little goblin opposite him


A Lance Tucker Drabble

Character Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader

Word Count: 744

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, dirty talk. Lance being his usual asshole self.

A/N: I needed some Lance in my life today.


Originally posted by kingsebastian

“Bartender, two tequilas.”

You looked to your right and groaned out loud. Lance was settling himself on the barstool next to you, his trademark smirk in place.

“Lance, go away.” You said, grabbing your whiskey and tossing back the remainder.

“Oh, come on sweetheart, don’t be that way.” He pushed the second tequila shot at you after the bartender put them down. “I heard you finally wised up and left limp dick.”

You ignored him and grabbed your purse to pay for your tab. Before you were able to get up, Lance grabbed your forearm and brought your hand up to his mouth. You watched, intrigued as he quickly licked your hand above your thumb and index finger. He grabbed the salt and shook it over the wet spot he made. He bit his bottom lip, “Do a shot with me.”

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