A PSA to young folk:
If someone you’re interested in says something like, “You shouldn’t be with me, because I’m damaged and I only hurt everyone, and I’ll never get better,” BELIEVE THEM. Because they are saying that for one of two reasons:
1- They think it’s cool and romantic to be dark and damaged. They are incorrect. Fetishizing mental illness is not ok.
2- They truly believe this about themselves, and are unwilling to do anything to work on their issues, right now, and will take their hurt out on you. Things may change in a few years, when they are ready to face it, but it is NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX THEM. YOU ARE NOT THIER SAVIOR.
However, if someone you’re interested in says something like, “Yeah, I have issues, but I’m working on them. It’s hard, and I don’t always win, but I’m working on it.“ That’s a good sign. It means they’re self-aware enough to be in a healthy relationship. But please remember, even then, that IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX THEM.
Bottom line: when someone tells you who they are, believe them.