Every week at work at least once
Customer: Can you help me, there’s something wrong with my fish.
Me: sure! What’s going on?
Customer: well he’s just laying at the bottom, and he doesn’t eat.
Me: ok… What are you water parameters?
Customer: my what?
Me, groaning internally: the levels of things like ammonia, nitrates, pH and so on. If you brought a water sample I can test it for you.
Customer: my water is fine. It’s really clear!
Me: that doesn’t mean it’s clean. Toxic chemicals like ammonia are clear; you can’t see them at all, you need to test for them. *Small sigh* Are there any other symptoms? Loss of color, white dots or fuzziness? What kind of fish is he?
Customer: I don’t know what kind he is, he looks like *describes every type of fish we have*. I’m not sure if he had those other things.
Me, already very frustrated and going over the edge: … Do you have pictures?
Customer: no. But what’s wrong with him? I’d like him to get better without it costing me anything. He’s just a fish after all.
Me: *Ascends to another plane if existence, done with all this crap*