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The white road

I am 24 when my doctor tells me that I was abused. She doesn’t tell me what happened to me, or plant any memories that weren’t already there. She takes what I have told her and she puts it all inside those six letters, that one word.

Before she takes my memories and gives me that word, I tell her that I have made the appointment because I want to know why I can’t stand being touched. I tell her that I’m 24 and I’m sick of flinching when shop assistants hand me my change, just in case their fingers brush against my palm and there is that fire again, the one that rushes up from my bone to the membrane of my skin any time it comes into contact that I wasn’t expecting. I tell her that I have been trying to do this properly, from dating to everything else, and it’s like I’m blocked. It’s like I’m missing a piece of myself that makes me an adult, or perhaps even a human, and I don’t know where it’s gone.

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“I know the winter’s getting colder
But why, just ‘cause we’re a little older do
I relive it, I relive it
I’m peddling backwards
Even if I’m peddling alone
Can’t help it
I relive it, I relive it, oh”

Winter of Our Youth - Bastille [x]

6

25 Weeks OOR Challenge
Week 01: What was the first ONE OK ROCK song you heard?

Back in 2013 after falling in love with Hiro and MFS (thanks to Nano), I learned that he had an older brother that also did rock and of course The Beginning came up first when I looked up the band. I’m sure everyone is well aware how amazing that song is and so I was sucked into OOR.