I really hope you read this. I’m writing this now since it’s still fresh in my head at the moment. I can’t wait until tomorrow. I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes, btw.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I had the best (Thurs)day and evening ever with you, Wiishu, Dan and Arin. I waited with my sister for you at the airport. It took a while but there you were with Wiishu. You were surprised but delighted at the same time. I wanted to say so many things and all I could say was: You must be tired, and rambled on about how long your flight must have been and what not. Everything except for the things I actually wanted to say.
That’s ok. I still had Friday evening and the Q&A. The moment was there. We all could ask questions and I had one at the ready, but every moment Vernon came near I started to feel more and more nervous and my social anxiety kicked in hard. At that moment I asked my sister if she wanted to ask my question. Well… you may remember she didn’t ask a question but said how much you meant and still mean to me. Last year was…rough. You and Mark helped me to stay positive and not lose hope in humanity. You both keep me smiling. 4 Video’s a day I had to look forward too (2 from you, 2 from Mark). This year was finally a year where everything is falling in to place in my life and I sort of know what I want eventually. I’m working hard on it. I’m having such a good time at the moment that I have trouble to find time to watch your videos!
Even now I still don’t know how to put my feelings in to the right words. The trouble I’m now facing is that I get emotional every time someone says it’s ok, “give yourself some credit too” and other uplifting words. I’ve always heard that it’s gonna be hard for me, what I want to do. I shouldn’t be doing this and that. Not by my parents and siblings, though. All the love for them. But it’s really demotivating to pick anything up when other’s don’t see the hard work you put in things and doubt you as a person.
Anyway, my sister caught me of guard with her speech. My anxiety was already on a high level and her putting me in the spotlight broke me down. I’m definitely not mad at her. She said the things I couldn’t say and I’m glad she did. I still feel like I want to say more, but I just simply can’t find the words. I just really hope you read this letter and hopefully I’ll see you again. May it be at VidCon Europe (*wink wink*) or at your EU tour of your own show.
Again from the bottom of my ♥
♥ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! ♥