ok now what do i do with my life

anonymous asked:

Did you see what happened in Manchester? How do you practice self care and keep yourself in an ok state when these types of things happen? I've been getting better and distancing myself from news because I'm such an empath that every attack gets to me but this one was too close to home to do that... Do you have any suggestions? Prayers? Or things to read? Or do? I don't feel like talking will help because I just feel guilty cause I know it's not about me, but I'm not doing ok right now

i tend to focus on what i can control and not worry about what i can’t. the world is crazy and life is short. you could live until 100 or die at any point. so i try to focus on what’s in front of me. i can’t fix the world, but i can do my best to put positivity into the world. i busy myself pouring into myself and other people. i pray and thank God for the days i have because tomorrow is promised to no one

and talking would help hun. talking always helps

What I want to say:
- you’re fucking gorgeous ya know
- i could kiss you right now
- holy shit you’re a genius
- where have you been all my life
- let’s go to the movies
- what do your hands feel like
- tell me your story
- i love it when you do that
- you’re more cute than normal today
- wow you’re incredible
- i think im in love with you.

What I actually say:
- hi
- ok
- uhhhh
- thank you
- bye

Poly doesn’t always feel nice.

And that’s ok.

Sometimes… Poly is watching your partner get their needs that match yours met with someone else.

Sometimes poly is having to accept less, instead of all.

Sometimes poly is, I hate this, but you don’t need my permission to do it anyway.

Sometimes poly is burning. Sitting in your room, your house, alone, burning with all the emotions and there is no one to put you out except yourself. And sometimes, you’re not enough of a firefighter.

Sometimes poly is boring.

Sometimes poly is Netflix and chilling, by yourself, your own hand down your pajama pants.

Sometimes poly is rage. Fierce, hot, molten gold down your gullet, choking you, burning you, cooking you to a not-quick enough death.

Sometimes it’s this is not enough, but this is better than nothing.

Sometimes it’s pain, bright, white hot, cutting into the very core of you. Splintering you into a thousand, million pieces.

Sometimes it’s I don’t know how I survive this.

Sometimes poly is… Acceptance of not so great, because there is no other option.

Sometimes poly is a snide laugh, a kick in the gut, a slap in the face.

Sometimes poly is heartbreak.

Sometimes poly is, I will never feel “safe” again.

Sometimes it’s just… Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overdoing. Over scheduling. Overtalking. Over… Everything.

Sometimes poly is… Can’t I just go back?

But what poly really is?

Poly is I can’t. I can’t go back. Because going back would mean so much sacrifice. So much giving up of people that I cannot fathom how much I love them. So much beautiful, wonderful, awful exploration of self that I would never get again. I can’t say, I don’t want my lovers and friends and amazing people who blur ALL of my lines and boundaries with their amazing selves. I can’t say, for the sake of some general level of “comfort” that I know is false, I will give up everyone. Their intimacy, their vulnerability, their nakedness. What they look like laughing, and coming, and crying. Versions of them I don’t get to see within the confines of monogamy as I knew it. I have sacrificed so very much to be here, uncomfortable, today.

I can’t.

I feel I’m awake now, with all the discomfort that comes with awakening. But I can’t go back to sleep. It’s shitty, sometimes, being awake. The sun is too bright, the sounds too harsh. It’s easy when I’m head down, dreaming. But it’s not real, you know? It’s an illusion, a construct. It works for some, but I’ve taken the red pill. I’ve seen my life for how it is, my thinking for how it is. I can’t unsee it. Maybe one day how I outwardly perform myself will change, but for now, I can’t go back. I am what I am, doing what I’m doing the ways that I do it. Sometimes it hurts. Fuck yeah it hurts. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you anything remotely differently. And you know what?

It’s ok.

Through this, we grow.

We become something else. We become better, stronger. We know ourselves more. We know more words to use to advocate for ourselves, and that is fucking amazing. Without this pain, without this trial by fire and molten metal, we might not know what we’re capable of. And knowing what we’re capable of is an awesome, incredible thing. That is what makes you, you. That is what inspires you to fucking amazing things. Even if the journey is horrible to get there.

~Jordyn

—  XCBDSM.com/spd

anonymous asked:

i had an abortion last summer, and i've struggled a lot afterwards. i took an overdose in october bc i just couldn't deal with the guilt and regret. now i'm pregnant again, and i kind of wanted to keep it, but i don't really know the guy at all. when i first told him he took it ok, but he called me later saying if i don't have an abortion he's gonna kill himself. i'm pro choice all the way, but i know how much i grieved last time. i'm gonna have a life on my conscience no matter what i do???

Do what YOU want or need to do. I’m here to support you whatever you decide, and if you need to talk I’ll be a sounding board. Best wishes, anon. ❤

3

Ok, so this is a thing that I’ve been wanting to do for a while now and only just got to doing it. Because, you know, life happens :/

Anyway, “Love like you” is probably my favorite song from Steven universe and I thought these lines fit pretty well with my favorite pair of brothers :)

Just one chance 

(Zach Dempsey mini-series part I)

Part II Part III

A/N: One about Zach YAAAY! I hope you like it and if you’re wondering there will be more parts of this one.

Warnings: English is not my first language.

Remember REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Words: 2.052

masterpost



I had noticed. I noticed how he hoped to find that piece of paper in his compliment bag hanging on the wall next to the rest. Hoping to find that someone had written something that made him feel a little better, he didn’t lose hope that someday that bag would have something inside, he didn’t care how long it took.

I had stopped looking in my bag a long time ago; it wasn’t like I couldn’t use some nice words even though they came from an anonymous source that I would probably never know who it was. I had stopped looking inside because I never got any notes, so I decided to stop wasting my time and to stop feeling bad every time I looked inside.

Nevertheless I was surprised that someone like Zach Dempsey didn’t get a hundred of notes, after all he was the star player in the basketball team, he was friends with the popular people of the school, he was always in all the parties and I knew girls liked him, still he didn’t get any compliments in his bag.

I couldn’t help to feel bad for him, so I gather my things very slowly to be the last one in the class and I wrote a note for him, which I left in his compliment bag so the next day he would have something.

I didn’t write a love letter or something like that, it was something pretty simple, something that would make him feel better for the rest of the day; we all deserve to receive compliments from time to time.

A few days passed since the first note I wrote him and I had to admit that I loved how he reacted so I decided to write him a couple more for the next weeks, but I didn’t make it a daily thing.

One day while I was running to class, considering that I was late to first period. I was looking in my bag for my book and being the clumsy person that I am I ran into someone, luckily for me I didn’t fall backwards, that would had been even more embarrassing.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking” I said as fast as I could while I bend down to get the book that I made that person drop.

I saw it was the biology book, the same one that I was looking for in my bag and when I looked to the owner I saw it was Zach and I thanked that it was him and not one of his stupid friends, because even though he hanged out with them Zach was so much nicer than all of them together.

“Don’t worry, are you ok?” he asked grabbing his book and smiling for some reason.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just really bad at walking without running into people” I joked putting my bag on my shoulder “I was looking for my bio book but it seems that I forgot it at home” I sighed “but it doesn’t matter, see you in class” I added walking to the classroom, I didn’t want to get even more late.

“Wait!” he exclaimed making me turn in his direction with a surprised expression on my face “we can walk together and if you want you can sit with me and I’ll share my book with you” I couldn’t help the frown on my forehead. Zach was definitely kind, but not to this level, he was socializing voluntary with me, someone who wasn’t even close to his little world or the people in that world, it was odd.

“Okay… thank you” I answered trying to sound convinced. He reached me and we started walking to class together “how it is that you’re late to bio? You’re always the first one there” I added realizing he was late to his favourite class.

When I didn’t get any answer I looked in his direction and I saw him smiling again, this time even wider. We got to class so I wasn’t going to get any response to my question.

The class went by as usually, this was one of the few classes I liked, I liked to consider myself a person of letters, but I was good at everything in general, even though I hated all the subjects related to science or maths, that’s why it was something unusual that I liked this one in particular and that was the reason why I was always dazed in the teacher’s explanations, but not this time. I couldn0t stop looking to Zach and see how he took notes of everything and how he knew all the answers to the teacher’s questions, even though he just answered them in his notebook and not out loud. I guess that being good at something not related to sports wasn’t “cool”.

Unluckily for me Zach caught me staring and I tried to hide my smile, but it was impossible, I just looked in the teacher’s direction and started to take notes.

“You’re better at this than I thought” I whispered while I was writing the things that I saw in the blackboard.

“That means you knew I was already good at this” he answered looking at me all the time.

That answer was as odd as the rest of things that were happening with him this morning.

“Well, we have this class in common, why wouldn’t I know you’re good at it?” I asked looking at him again.

“Just an observation” there it was again, that smile, the third time I got that smile.

The bell was close to rang when Mr. Porter came into the classroom and I knew he was there for me, I just had to wait to hear my name and see how everyone looked at me.

When he did it I looked at Zach, who was looking at me with something like surprise and concern. I just grabbed my things and followed Mr. Porter to his office.

“I know why you have called me here” I said before he could even start “and I just have to say that everything is ok, I’m fine” I added with my usual tone.

“Your parents don’t think the same, they seem really concern”

“well, they are parents, when you have kids you’re life turns into an endless hole of worries, but I’m fine, I don’t know what they’ve told you, but I know exactly how I feel, can I go now?” the bell rang, great I was going to be late for second period too.

“How do you feel? I’d like to know it so that way I can help you”

“Why do you want to talk about it? To make me feel bad? I’ve said I know how I feel, it doesn’t mean I want to talk about it”

“If you don’t talk about it you won’t be able to solve it”

“This is a waste of time” I said standing and taking my bag. I was in a good mood this morning, but not anymore, thanks to this stupid “try to talk about your feelings”.

“(Y/N) wait” Mr. Porter stood like he was going to follow me, but he didn’t, I walked out of his office without looking behind and I let a big sigh leave my chest.

I started walking to communication class when I heard a certain voice calling me; I turned in his direction with surprise in face again.

“Is everything ok?” Zach asked coming to me.

“Yes, what are you doing here?” I needed to know the answer to that question, because we weren’t friends, we just had a few classes together and now all of the sudden he’s worried about me.

“I just wanted to make sure everything was fine” when I heard how sincere he sounded I felt something I had never felt before, it was like something inside me was completed and I just smiled widely.

“That’s really nice of you” I mumble “Thank you”

We remained silence, I didn’t know what else to say and he looked like he wanted to continue talking, like there was something he wanted to tell me and just when I was about to turn in the opposite direction he talked.

“Would you like to go to Monet’s some time?” he sounded almost nervous. Like if he was exposed to a terrible danger.

I looked at him, confusion all over my face, I was trying to make sense to the fact that he wanted to go out with me, I didn’t want to think he was playing with me, like it was some kind of bet with his friends, that would be really painful.

“Zach… I don’t want you to misunderstand this, but… why?” his expression didn’t change.

“I don’t know, you seem interesting and I’d like to get to know you better” now I was totally amazed.

“Is this some kind of bet you want to win? Because if it is-“

“No!” he said stopping me “no, no bets” I think he realized then why I have my doubts “I promise you it’s nothing like that”

“Then why are you interested suddenly? We’ve been in the same classes since freshman year and we have never had a real conversation, we’re from different worlds and I know you’re nothing like your friends, because if you were I wouldn’t even be talking to you, but when you’re with them… I don’t know, you’re not like this, I guess…”

“I get it, I have a reputation, but give me a chance to prove you that I’m not like that, and you won’t regret it”

“I’ll accept if you tell me the real reason behind this interest”

He stopped for a second, maybe thinking if he wanted to talk about it or not.

“I know you are the one who has left notes in my compliment bag” I opened my mouth to say something, but words didn’t come to me, I was speechless, I didn’t know if I should deny it or tell the truth “You’re not the only one who notice things, you know? I’ve notice how much you enjoy when we are in literature, how you are in your own world when you are bored, how much you like animals” I was blushing by the second “you like bio even though science is not your favourite area and how you laugh even when the jokes aren’t funny at all”

I couldn’t believe how much he noticed me, I always thought no one looked in my direction and that was why I felt so comfortable doing my things.

“How… how do you know the notes were mine?” I whispered, trying to recover myself form the things he had said to me.

“Because I know you’re the only one who knows how much I like bio” he answered giggling “and in your first note you wrote how cute I look when I’m paying attention in bio and that you think I looked happier there than playing basketball”

“That could be anyone…”

“That’s what I thought at first, but you have confirmed my doubts today” he said laughing at my recently shyness “Thank you for the notes by the way”

“Compliments are necessary” I said trying to change the subject.

“Then what do you say, do you want to go to Monet’s some day?” I wasn’t entirely sure about this, I really wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t stop thinking that maybe this was just a game and I think he knew how insecure I felt “I get you have doubts, I just ask for one chance”

“Ok, I’ll go out with you” I said almost cutting him, if I thought about it more I’ll change my mind and I wouldn’t give him a change to prove he had good intentions.

His expression change suddenly, he smiled brightly and I tried to hide mine but it was impossible, I looked in other direction so he couldn’t see it, but I think my attempt was useless.

“I promise you won’t regret it” he said thrilled “do you want to go to the library? We are already really late to class anyways”

“Sure, and you can help me with something I don’t understand in bio” I said walking by his side to the library.

“Of course”

You are amazing

It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, you are stronger than you realise and whatever crap is happening in your life right now… Now matter how big or how bad, it will pass. It may not seem like it. There may seem like there is only one way out.. But there isn’t. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t straightforward, but what is meant to happen will happen and all you can do is get through it and try your best. No one can ask for anything other than your best, and if you have days when you can’t do your best then that’s ok too.

If anyone who reads this needs someone to talk to then please know my ask and inbox are always open and I will do my best to help, whether you need to rant, cry or scream, I will help in whatever way I can.

Keep your head up

10

Dylan’s journal

1: Fact: People are so unaware…. well, ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression. - Dylan
A Virtual Book
EXISTENCES
By: Dylan
Properties: This book cannot be opened by anyone except Dylan (some supernatural force blocks common people from entering).
<<-VoDkA->>
<<-Dylan->> 
2: The 4 stages from within: most, few, some, none
Me is place outside all the boxes. 
3: El Thoughtzos
Ah yes, this is me writing … just writing, nobody technically did anything, just I felt like throwing out my thoughts - this is a weird time, weird life, weird existence. As I sit here (partially drunk with a screwdriver) I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops … music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking … about the asshole - in gym class, how he worries me, about driving, & my family, about friends & doings with them, about girls I know (mainly - & -) how I know I can never have them, yet I can still dream … I do shit to supposedly ‘cleanse’ myself in a spiritual, moral sort of way (deleting the wads on my computer, not getting drunk for periods of time, trying not to ridicule/make fun of people (-) at school), yet it does nothing to help my life morally. My existence is shit to me - how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake - artificial, induced (?) by thought, how everything connects, yet it’s all so far apart … & I sit & think … science is the way to find solutions to everything, right? I still think that, yet I see different views of shit now - like the mind - yet if the mind is viewed scientifically … hmm
I dwell in the past … thinking of good & bad memories. 
4: A lot on the past though … I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when I got so fucked up w my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Bennet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body … as I see the people at school - some good, some bad - I see how different I am (aren’t we all you’ll say) yet I’m on such a greater scale of difference than everyone else (as far as I know, or guess). I see jocks having fun, friends, women, LIVEZ. 
Or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe) like ignorance = bliss. They don’t know beyond this world (how I do in my mind or in reality or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses - I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned & they lack the overdeveloped mind/imagination/knowledge tool. I don’t fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life … that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me - my soul (existence). & the routine is still monotonous, go to school, be scared & nervous, hoping that people can accept me … that I can accept them … the NIN (Nine Inch Nails) song Piggy is good for thought writing … The Lost Highway sounds like a movie about me … I’m gonna write later, bye   <<-VoDkA->>
5: Da ThoughtZ Jeah
Well well, back at it, yes (you say) whoever the fuck ‘you’ is, but yea. My life is still fucked, in case you care … maybe, … (not?) I have just lost fuckin 45$, & before that I lost my zippo & knife (I did get those back) Why the fuck is he being such an ASSHOLE??? (god I guess, whoever is the being which controls shit). He’s fucking me over big time & it pisses me off. Oooh god I HATE my life, I want to die really bad right now - let’s see what I have that’s good: A nice family, a good house, food, a couple of good friends, & possessions. What’s bad - no girls (friends or girlfriends), no other friends except a few, nobody accepting me even though I want to be accepted, me doing badly & being intimidated in any & all sports, me looking weird & acting shy - BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway … I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much. The battle between good & bad never ends … OK enough bitchin … well I’m not done yet. OK go … I don’t know  why I do wrong with people (mainly women) - it’s like they are set out to hate & ignore me, I never know what to say or do. - is soo fuckin lucky he has no idea how I suffer. 
6: Okay here’s some poetry … this is a display of one man in search of answers, never finding them, yet in hopelessness understands things …
Existence … what a strange word. He set out by determination & curiosity, knows no existence, knows nothing relevant to himself. The pretty declarations of others & everything on this world, in this world, he knows the answers to. Yet they have no purpose to him. He seeks knowledge of the unthinkable, of the undefinable, of the unknown. He explores the everything … using his mind, the most powerful tool known to him. Not a physical barrier blocking the limits of exploration, time thru thought thru dimensions … the everything is his realm. Yet, the more he thinks, hoping to find answers to his questions, the more come up. Amazingly, the petty things mean much to him at this time, how he wants to be normal, not this transceiver of the everything. Then occurring to him, the answer. How everything is connected yet separate. By experiencing the petty others actions, reactions, emotions, doings and thoughts, he gets a mental picture of what, in his mind, is a cycle. Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall. Questions make answers, answers conceive questions, and at long last he is content. TTYL  <<-VoDkA->>
7: Thoughtz                                                                                                          Yo … whassup … heheheheh … know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear - like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me … Check it … (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here ….                                             Within the known limits of time … within the conceived boundaries of space … the average human thinks those are the settings of existence … yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions”, says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions - L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought - Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists - anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another … a dream.                                                                                         Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 (degrees) to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then … BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life.                                                            8: Hypnosis place - It is a sky - with one large cloud, & sort of cloud-made chair - the sun is at the head of the chair … 10 o’clock up into the sky … Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth - sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair - actually like a chaise - & I am talking … to what? I don’t know - it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t … & we talk like we are the same person - like he’s my soul … The everlasting contrast …                                                                              Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the everlasting-contrast. Since existence has known the ‘fight’ between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good, the ‘people’ on the earth see it as a battle they can win. HA fuckin morons. If people looked at History, they would see what happens. I think, too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those un-existable brainless zombies. Yet, the actions of them interest me, like a kid with a new toy. Another contrast, more of a paradox, actually, like the advanced go for the undevelopeds realm, while some of the morons become everything dwellers - but exceptions to every rule, & this is a BIG exception - most morons never change, they never decide to live in the ‘everything’ frame of mind!              Laterz           <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                   9: <<-VoDkA->>’s Thoughts                                                                                   The - Situation                                                                                                             It is not good for me right now (like it ever is) … but anyway … My best friend ever: the friend who shared, experimented, laughed, took chances with & appreciated me more than any friend ever did has been ordained … “passed on” … in my book. Ever since - (who I wouldn’t mind killing) has loved him … that’s the only place he’s been with her … if anyone had any idea how sad I am … I mean we were the TEAM. When him & I first were friends, well I finally found someone who was like me: who appreciated me & shared very common interests. Ever since 7th grade, I’ve felt lonely … when - came around, I finally felt happiness (sometimes) we did cigars, drinking, sabotage to houses, EVERYTHING for the first time together & now that he’s “moved on” I feel so lonely, without a friend. Oh well, maybe he’ll come around -> … I hope.               That’s all - for this topic - maybe I’ll never see this again. (-> ô=-   -=ô)                 <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                                                10: My 1st Love????                                                                                               OH my God … I am almost sure I am in love … with -. Hehehe … such a strange name, like mine … yet everything about her I love. From her good body to her almost perfect face, her charm, her wit & cunning, her NOT being popular. Her friends (who I know) - some - I just hope she likes me as much as I LOVE her. I think of her every second of every day. I want to be with her. I imagine me & her doing things together, the sound of her laugh, I picture her face, I love her. If - soulmates exist, then I think I’ve found mine. I hope she likes Techno … :-)             -, I love you                                                                                                             - Dylan

BEFORE ITS THE END OF TODAY

HAPPY UNOFFICIAL JOSH DUN APPRECIATION DAY

Originally posted by tylerjosephappreciation

THIS POST IS NOT MEANT AS A BRAG BUT I'M FUCKING CHUFFED AS HECK SO APOLOGIES BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL HOW PROUD I AM OF MYSELF AND IT FEELS NICE

Today was my last day of my job, and I am so sad!! Maybe you can make this into less of a braggy wank fest by telling me about the last time you proved yourself!!

For those who didn’t follow my ever so exciting life, for the past 3 months I have been working as the cashier on a TV drama. I was responsible for all the cash that went through the production - all £35k of it! - and keeping track of everyone’s expenses, prop sales and so on. I’ve never done a job this big before, and I was incredibly nervous going into it. I considered turning the job down, as those who saw my initial panic will know, because I felt out of my depth and like I was too inexperienced. I felt like an impostor, basically.

In the first month, the assistant accountant quit, and suddenly the Accounts department consisted of two people: me and the lead accountant. Almost immediately, I was also doing invoices and shit (we accountant sorts call this AP, for Accounts Payable, because acronyms aren’t just cool street slang). Also a pay rise. Solid.

Today, I returned all the leftover cash to the bank and discovered that I’d kept accurate track of the cash to the absolute penny. That’s a fucking miracle; I was doing two jobs, working 6 days a week, 11 hours a day, and I didn’t screw it up. I’d been so nervous going into this job, feeling like I was going to cock it up spectacularly and be fired on day one, and I knocked it out of the goddamn park.

I worked my arse off, got shouted at by a mildly famous actor, drank more Cup-a-Soup than is recommended by any doctor, laughed until I cried about BRENDA THE AGENT WHO IS NOT OK, and it was brutal, and I’ve had no life at all for 3 months (hence my absence on here, although I’m also still lacking a computer) and I feel VERY PROUD AND EMOTIONAL because I’ve had so many people tell me today that I’m underselling myself and could do bigger jobs as a second assistant accountant if I wanted to, and that I am capable and competent, and that they want to work with me again, and omg????? I cried???? So much?????

And now I’m unemployed and what the fuck do I do now with all this free time

“Boy mode” vs “girl mode” 🚹🚺 As much as I wish it wasn’t the case, the honest reality of my current existence is that one of the partners of my company is super-religious and I still have to ‘present male’ at my 9-5 office work for the time being. Though even today with digging an old tee from my music days out of retirement, I feel like my best boy mode I can muster lately is getting pretty weak. Other than a full eye, I wear pretty much the same full face of makeup at work plus basically a self-imposed uniform of plain black tee, skinny jeans and flats. I’m in this weird limbo where everyone in my personal life knows about my transition for the past year and I pretty much present female exclusively, but at work nobody “knows” but I’ve clearly changed visually and CLEARLY wear makeup and make no dedicated effort to present masculine (save for today’s tee). I have a hard time believing that nobody has put the pieces together, but I suppose they probably think I’m just gay or something. (But everyone knows I’m happily married?) I work super hard and am good at my job so I’ve not been directly confronted for now. I also have avoided being honest about it on Facebook because of co-workers, but because of my music following as well, which is what 99% of my Facebook consists of (which I’m honestly less worried about). I just can’t afford to lose my income and insurance. Anyway. I just want to be honest about this because it’s an awkward existential issue to have, even temporarily. I came honest about being transgender to rectify my feelings with my appearance and body - and NOT feel like I’m living some kind of double life - and that’s exactly what I feel like I’m literally having to do for now. But I know it’s part of what I’ve gotta do. I don’t know when the timing is going to feel right but I’m going to have to be honest about this with my bosses, and I’m not sure how that’s gonna play out. Hopefully it will be ok and they’ll figure out s way to not be uncomfortable. At this point not much would change, but it’s hard to drop the “T word” and it’s hard to not imagine religion getting in the way.

<//❤️~Oo°*_( 桜さくや )_*°oO~❤️\<

Tadaaaa !
The other drawing for husbando Sakkuuuun (/❤️u❤️)/~~~~ <3
<*_~ SaKuRaSaKuYa ~_*> ! c:
wuh !
I always wanted to draw him like this since I know about the #桜さくや hype on Twitter :’D NOW - FINALLY.
HAVE SOME PINK SAKUYA <3
pink suits him so well, he'sgoddamnhandsomeasalwaysjfc ///^///) I already smell the scent of cherryblossoms…. <3 spring feeeeliiingsss ~❤️~

haaahh..I’m so glad I managed to draw a digi drawing for him too  although I’m still super busy with final exams ._. BUT NO, I’d go through sleepless nights just to finish fanarts for his birthday *^* !!
alright, it's STILL his birthday, so we can still celebrate and talk about what a great person he is…. <3 ALL DAY LOONNGGGG


It’s actually the 4th time celebrating his birthday, which means I almost love him for 4 years, FOUUURRRRRR YEARS ;w;)9 !! <3 ma luv, ma baby <3
Thank you so much StrikeTanaka for making him EXISSSTTTTTT ( 9;////;)9 ! what would be life without Sakuya, seriously :’D! 

Moreover it’s sad I can’t show my love for him like japanese fans can do, like..LOOK AT THAT AMOUNT OF MERCHANDISE THEY HAVE. HOW MUCH MONEY HAS BEEN SPEND ON THIS. IT’S LIKE THEY’RE RICH AF. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ;////;? Ok they do have the benefit that they don’t have to order that stuff overseas etc v.v)! ahahahah ~ what a great life :‘D at least that’s all I can do for Sakkun now ;//w//;) <3

anyways, hope u like this one too >w>)/ !! <3 <3 <3

rooks-and-blighters  asked:

What main traits does each house have? I would like to know what house I'm in

have you taken THIS?

if you don’t want to, allow me

ahem.

Gryffindors: how much you wanna bet I can drink that whole red bull in one swallow?

Ravenclaws: FOR SCIENCE!! WE MUST DO THE THING FOR SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!

Hufflepuffs: aww, sweetheart, i love you so much you’re my best friend, it’s ok, I’m always here for you. Now let’s do something fun. Bless you (further reference, see Tom Hiddleston).

Slytherins: y’all are idiots. What’s this? You amateurs. you want the answers to the test? it’s gonna cost you. whoah whoah woah did you just hurt my friend ohohoh Ima make your life a living hell from now on.

Or, the GIF version

Gryffindor:

Ravenclaw:

Hufflepuff:

 

Slytherin:

Dealing With Allison's Death (Liam Dunbar Imagine)

This was my first imagine guys, I really hoe you like it.

Please share it if you do, I really want this account to be known!

Enjoy xx

WARNINGS: None

Word count: 1732

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

It was a hard-hitting wall when Allison died. She didn’t deserve to. She didn’t have to. Allison died protecting her family and friends, but in the end, she didn’t HAVE to die.

Nobody does.

Allison died and Isaac left. Scott hasn’t been himself. Nobody has. Stiles has times where he just doesn’t comprehend what is happening in the world, Lydia locks herself away until the dead of night when she just goes for walks by herself, and Kira is trying her hardest to act normal. She knew Allison and Isaac the shortest amount of time so she is trying to act like everything’s ok.
And then there was me. When I first moved to Beacon Hills with my parents 2 years ago, I was a complete stranger to everyone and everything. But there was one day that changed it all.

~~FLASHBACK~~

It was a Tuesday, and after soccer practice I took ages to get changed in the locker room. Everybody left, leaving me alone with just my thoughts. Until a noise so loud it was like an earthquake has taken place sounded from the guy’s locker room. Cautiously and daringly, I stared forwards to see what had happened. After all, practice finished 45 minutes ago, and all students should have left.

That’s not what had happened.

When I opened the door, there stood the famous duo pair: Stiles Stilinski and Scott McCall. But something was not right. Scott had his back turned to me, his head down and Stiles look frightened and startled to see me at the doorway.

“Get out, Y/N! Leave!” Stiles yelled with a scared look in his eyes. I didn’t think twice about how he knew my name, I just stood there rooted to the spot, unable to move even if I wanted to. Scott turned slowly, and when his body faced mine, he lifted up his head.

Red eyes.

I opened my mouth to scream, but a different instinct took over. Instead of being the scared little girl I was known to be, I took a chance. ‘It could go two ways’, I thought to myself. ‘I scream and run and leave Beacon Hills, or I stay and make friends’.

Silently taking a deep breath, I made my choice.

“That is cool.”

And that stared it all – I was introduced to the world of werewolves, kanima, kitsune, the nogitsune and were-coyotes. It all happened all so fast, with each day bringing new enemies, new friends and new creatures that we weren’t sure were going to kill us or make us stronger as a pack.
Allison Argent moved here about the same time I did. Her family’s past was revealed to us, and she joined the pack willingly. It was one night that we had cornered the kanima that she noticed I was defenceless. So, she trained me.
She trained me to fight for myself; how to fire a gun, how to shoot bow and arrows and how to protect myself.

The only problem was that she taught me how to protect myself so well, she forgot herself.

Stiles and I, we were the only humans until he turned into the Nogitsune. He blames himself for Allison, he blames himself for everything. He cries all the time, even though he tries to hide it, and he beats himself up over it constantly.
He truly believes that the pack is broken because of him.

And I hate to say it, but sometimes, when I’m felling terrible about it all and there’s tears running down my cheeks, when I I’m sitting in the dark and thinking everything over. When there’s nothing to do, but regrets one’s actions, so do I. I blame him too.

So, that summer, there was no pack meetings. There were no midnight searches for bodies or suspicious cases. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. We were normal teenagers who had just seen their best friend die.

That was until Liam moved to town.  Everything changed. When Scott bit him to save his life that night on the roof, he joined our pack. It was unwillingly of course, but it happened. Scott had called the first pack meeting in 3 months that night. We were to meet at his house in half an hour. I text Lydia to see if she was going to go, but no reply. I didn’t think there would be, I just needed to see. Whilst the clock was ticking away the time, the second hand so loud in my ears I wanted to scream in frustration, I debated mentally whether to go.

This pack brought to much destruction in to my life. My life had been turned around when I found out about Scott, and it would be hard to go back. It would be impossible to forget everything I had witnessed; the pained face of Lydia when Jackson was trying to kill us all, the heart-broken face of Scott and Isaac when Allison was run-through and the sight of her pale hand peacefully landing on the ground. My best friend’s eyes, once full of colour, joy and life, now cold and empty.

But this pack also brought me happiness. Stiles and his stupid remarks about everything serious situation, and how he made everyone see the issue at hand in a different light. Lydia and her powers always made everything easier, and I could count on her for a little bit of normalness in my life, to make everything seem ok again. Scott and his leadership – it always made me feel safe. He knew what he was doing, he knew that we were there for him and we knew that he would do anything to help us. These people were my best friends and nothing was going to change that.

When you’re going through hell…keep going.

I pulled on jeans, a shirt and a leather jacket, combed my hair through and made myself presentable. I hadn’t seen these people in 3 months, I needed to show them that I was getting on ok.

The half an hour was nearly over, so jumping into my car without a word to my parents that I was leaving, I drove as fast as I could to Scott’s house. Scott will be there, so will Stiles and Lydia maybe. But then the tears started to form as I realized we were two members down. Pushing my hair back out of my eyes and pulling up outside Scott’s house, I wiped the tears away. I would not be weak after all we have been through. I will not let her death ruin my life.

Mustering up the courage, I knocked on Scott’s door. Almost instantly, it opened to reveal the alpha himself.

“Hi,” I tried to speak clearly, but it only came out as a whisper. Before I could process what was happening, Scott pulled me into his arms. His warm embrace made me realize how much I had missed this, missed him. Missed them all.

“Hey,” he replied softly.

Pulling back, a familiar voice came from the kitchen.

“Don’t keep her all to yourself buddy,” and Scott moved aside. Walking through the rooms, it felt more like home than anything I had ever felt before. And of course, in the kitchen sat around the table, was Stiles and Lydia.

“Hey,” I spoke softly, giving them a smile. It was gladly returned.

“We have something to show you,” Stiles said with his usual suspicious grin forming on his face.

Leading us all upstairs and into Scott’s room, a clatter emerged from the bathroom. Stiles let out a huff of despair.

“PLEASE KEEP STILL!” He yelled through the door. Nothing scared me anymore, but a grunt came from inside the room.

“What is in there?” I questioned, my voice shaking, but I was unsure why.

No reply came, but Scott flung the door open. In the bath, tied up (which was obviously done by Stiles) was a teenage boy.

“Y/N, meet Liam, Scott’s new beta.”

~~FLASHBACK OVER~~

Keep reading

sabinaqvi  asked:

Hi! Firstly I love you and your studyblr. You are a life saver muah 💋. Ok so HELP ME! I have my mocks right around the corner and i haven't done anything and i still don't feel motivated. I don't wanna fail. I have to complete a lot of stuff so how do i do that quickly. Any tips?🙃😶❤️

Thank you so much for the compliments! You have no idea how happy you’ve made me now! As stupid as I am i had to google what mocks are (I’m ashamed of myself ehh), so I’m not a pro but I’ll try to give some advice:

active learning

For god’s sake please don’t just skim through the textbooks over and over again, it’s ridiculous and time-consuming. In the end the information won’t even stick to your brain, so don’t passively read and highlight, you are just wasting your time. Instead opt for active learning methods:

  • read and make your own notes
    ps. don’t just write down exactly like they are written in the textbooks, formulate them with your own words, and make them as compact as possible
  • research on the topics online; google is truly my bff if i want to go in-depth/don’t understand a topic
  • watch documentaries and youtube videos!! seriously the videos give you so much more simplified information in a short time!!
  • discuss the topics with your friends or mutuals who also are studying for mocks! 

prioritise 

Don’t study too much on your stronger areas, again you’re just wasting your time doing so. Focus on your weaker areas like e.g. math, chemistry, english lit(seems to be the subjects people have the most troubles with?). 

I would also suggest your to learn the basics properly first! Like why would you proceed to more complicated topics and manage them if you don’t handle the basics? I mean you’d be just wasting your time once again.

time management

Make a schedule for your studying! Collect all your study materials and try to calculate how much time you have left for your exams, choose the subjects you are going to focus more on and plan your times until the D-day. But please don’t be too optimistic and think you can handle studying 6 chapters of math and 5 chapters of chemistry in one day, that’s unrealistic. 

Also don’t think you can study 4 hours in one sitting and actually learn something, the information won’t “stick” you know? Maybe study for 30 minutes and then quickly revise for 5 minutes and go to the bathroom or down to the kitchen to fetch something to snack on! Repeat this maybe 3-4 times and take a long break where you meet friends or do something fun. Later that day you can study again but maybe not for so long as earlier!

Studying is important but don’t forget to live your life too!


studying shouldn’t be taking over your life

“Grades are important” 
“My parents are going to kill me”
”I’m such a failure”

Education is important, i agree, but unfortunately many students are studying under pressure. They have parents who demand good grades and want their children to study in a overly fancy university, or they are the students themselves who are the ones who except too much. An A and an A* would be amazing to get but for fuck’s sake B’s and C’s are good too. You shouldn’t be studying 24/7, even though the mocks are around the corner. Sleep, eat healthily, read books, spend a night watching Netflix even tho the books are waiting for you, exercise, do something stupid, procrastinate; don’t try to be an over achiever, be a human.



Eve Bennett has amazing tips for taking and studying for exams on her revision channel
I’ve hear great things about Christopher Thornton who explain’s common topics on his youtube channel

There a plenty of videos on youtube, just google a subject and insert “revision” and tons of videos will pop up!


I hope these helped you, or someone else, in some way!

honestly my feelings towards HeR right now are like an ex that just broke up with me and left with no warning and when it happened i was really upset like what was wrong with me or with our relationship because i thought we had something real there and they just left me all of a sudden and i was super heartbroken and just waiting for the day they’d change their mind and come back and we could pretend like none of this ever happened and things would be back to normal

but like now the more that i think about them the more i realize they weren’t ever actually that good to me in the first place. like yeah a couple times a year we had some good times but when i’d describe them to my friends and family they’d always kind of raise one eyebrow and when they’d see their social media presence it was just kind of embarassing. and like in the time that they’ve just disappeared with no updates i’ve become a totally better person. like i’ve gone off to school and made new friends and had all these experiences and i know where i’m going in life and what i wanna do and i’m so passionate about things that they never cared about but that i have time to focus on now that they’re out of my life

and like maybe someday they will come back like i desperately wanted them to when they first left and maybe i’ll meet up with them to see how they’re doing and maybe get some closure on what happened but even if they don’t… i’d be OK

Love Bites (part 3)

Words: 1.7k

Summary: You and Cas finally discuss your past (and future?)

Warnings: Lots of drama, discussion/confession of cheating (nothing descriptive,) and some feels.

A/N: Sorry this is so short. I’m finally using my phrase for @casbabydontgoineedyou 1k celebration. “You can’t force someone to love you.” The plan is for one more chapter after this one. If you’d like to be added to my master tag list, send me an ask or DM.

—————

You followed Cas to his house, aptly located on the rich side of town. The entire ride you wondered why you were going; but always came to the conclusion that he, at the very least, deserved a chance to explain himself. He had been your best friend for the first half of your life, after all.

Keep reading

knbreactions  asked:

Hello :) up to how many characters can I request? But anyways, headcanons on what GOM+Tanaka+Ogiwara would do in summer?

Hey! Thanks for the request, I truly enjoyed writing this! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ More under the cut! 🍑

AKASHI

  • As per his father’s suggestion, he works at his family’s company for the summer. His job consists of mostly paperwork.
  • Visits his mother’s grave more often. Truthfully, he’d visit everyday if he could. Leaves her with a bouquet of peonies every time.
  • Travels abroad (for leisure) at least once. While he does fly internationally to nearby countries such as Singapore and Hong Kong for business meetings, Akashi absolutely loves visiting Europe during the summer.
  • Visits historical monuments in Europe: Anne Frank’s house, the Leaning Tower, Vatican City, etc
  • INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOY Quite a few foreign girls he spoke to (asking for directions mostly) found him cute, he’s just so much of a gentleman
  • He also keeps a travel log/diary for his musings. And yes, he goes on trips alone, unless one of his friends want to tag along. (Kuroko actually went on a short trip to Bangkok with him as they had the same flight so might as well hang out right?)
  • Buys souvenirs for his friends abroad
  • Sends Kuroko and Midorima postcards because he knows they’re probably the only ones who’ll treasure it lol
  • Buys Momoi the Ladurée macarons she’s been craving for from Paris
  • Contrary to what most people think, he travels more often with the Rakuzan team due to their summer training programs cross-country or overseas
  • During the beach trip with the rest of GOM, he mostly hung out under a huge parasol, playing shots with Midorima
  • Participates in a sandcastle building competition and wins first place
  • Hold a party in his private yacht

Keep reading

I’m Yours

Summary:  Post Season 1, everyone is okay, but they come back one by one, or in Lance and Hunk’s case, in a pair. Shiro and Keith get split up and Keith is the last one to make it back and hugs the life out of Lance when he finally makes it back.

Word Count: 3536

Notes: Ok, if you don’t know, the song is I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. And the scene comes from a piece of art by @thesearchingastronaut and seriously, give them a follow, their art is amazing guys! Leave a comment and some kudos and I’ll love you forever, hope all of you enjoyed!

On AO3


Honestly, everything could fall apart right now and Lance wouldn’t care. They were all alive and just…everything was okay. Shiro was still with them, Pidge was no longer alone, and he had just spent another month alone with Hunk while they found their way back. And Keith?

Hah.

Lance found himself grinning ear-to-ear thinking about the hug that Keith crushed him in as soon as he exited his lion. Like, it was a long time ago that Lance came to terms with his feelings for Keith (even with the mullet) and okay, this was a mature decision for him, but he decided to wait for Keith. That month with Hunk turned into some kind of confession, a month long confession.

Hunk wouldn’t leave him alone about how Lance, who challenged Keith to damn near everything, had an irrevocable crush on the guy. Hello? Did anyone see the way Shiro was upset about Allura? Lance couldn’t take it anymore.

But when Keith came running at him nearly squeezed the life out of him, Lance melted. He hugged Keith back with just as much force, Keith had only held on more.

“It’s good to have you back, Keith,” Lance muttered.

“I…I thought I lost you guys forever…” Keith’s hands were clawing at his shirt. Lance and Hunk were the second pair to make it back to the castle, right after Pidge. Both Pidge and Hunk came up with a pretty ingenious way on how to find the castle again, Lance was lucky to be with Hunk, or else he would still be flying around searching.

Keep reading

iN-TERVIEW WITH DELICIOUS @XLUSCI0USX 😜

Lordt….I see why umm… never mind. Let’s just get right into it! LOL

______________________________________________________________

IMPERIAL XXXSTACY DIRECTOR OF MODELING

inookii: Hi Luscious! Finally, we meet for our chat. Welcome!
xLUSCI0USx: ty! its an honor to be here
inookii: No it’s an honor to chat with who I think is top 3 (if not #1) sexiest pornstar! How is that going?
xLUSCI0USx: oh hush it, ur gonna make me blush
xLUSCI0USx: its going great :)
inookii: LOL. Now, you’re Director of Modeling at IX, correct?
xLUSCI0USx: yes i am. well one of them. i share the role with Henvoiv.
inookii: Oh OK, does he handle the males and you the females?
xLUSCI0USx: no we tag team the whole department together. we work as a team :)
inookii: Oh cool. And what does you guys’ job entail? What do the Directors of Modeling do? Do you assign the tasks?
xLUSCI0USx: we come up with task, ideas or whatever things we can do to improve our work at ix, and we report back to Aly (the queen of porn in my eyes) 😝

inookii: Yes, she is the greatest at this porn/model group management thing
inookii: Do you inspect and approve work before it hits the tumblr boards, too?
xLUSCI0USx: no, we let our stars post whatever they want as long as it’s not offensive or brings drama
inookii: Oh nice.

xLUSCI0USx: we dont want them to feel like their being censored

inookii: OK, so management but not micro management.

xLUSCI0USx: exactly


IN THE BEGINNING, HENNY CREATED THE STAR…

inookii: And how did you get started in the porn world? Who discovered you or were you born this way? LOL
xLUSCI0USx: well i met Henvoiv like 2 years ago or longer. After knowing him for a bit i found out he did porn and didnt even know that existed
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: at the time i managed and worked at a strip club that belonged to a friend too. started hanging around him and more ppl of the porn world. he asked me to join and at first i wasn’t.
xLUSCI0USx: i was curious for sure but wasnt sure if i would be able to do it lol
inookii: LOL and now you’re killin it!
xLUSCI0USx: i dont know about that but i enjoy it thats for sure
xLUSCI0USx: i owe it all to him
inookii: Oh please. LOL I know like 3 guys who lust after you daily…and I don’t even know a lot of people.
xLUSCI0USx: lol can i get names?
inookii: Like, my boy Wolfie. LOL
xLUSCI0USx: i am single now lol


LUSCIOUS IS SINGLE!!! *waits for stampede*

inookii: Oooo! Let’s talk about your being single…sounds like you’re ready to date. How does that work with you being a pornstar?


inookii: What if your guy wants you to quit?


xLUSCI0USx: im just taking it one day at a time, if a guy catches my attention so be it, but living the single life right now lol


xLUSCI0USx: most guys know what i do and they have to be ok with what i do, cuz i enjoy it and it’s a part of me


xLUSCI0USx: As far as he wants me to quit we would have to be together for a while and i would consider doing it

inookii: Oh, so you’re open to not just pornstars for dating.
xLUSCI0USx: oh yeah, i dont have to date pornstars. As long as they’re nice and sweet i dont care if their pornstars or not

inookii: I agree. Don’t change overnight for anyone.
inookii: Isn’t it funny how guys meet you a certain way, want you to change, but still chase girls who are the way you were when they met you?
xLUSCI0USx: exactly, i dont get it. Dont force me to change, make me wanna change for u
xLUSCI0USx: thats how i see it
inookii: Exactly!!! Inspire the change, madafaka!

THE LUSCIOUS LIST

inookii: So you model and porn, do you prefer one over the other?
xLUSCI0USx: being a pornstar i definetely enjoy that lol
inookii: lol I bet
xLUSCI0USx: but i love doing photo shoots too. i like to mix it up lol
inookii: You do both very well. Seriously. I think your stuff is always lit!
xLUSCI0USx: aww thanks love, that means a lot. im my hardest critic
inookii: :) So let’s talk dirty….
xLUSCI0USx: my favorite topic lol
inookii: Who’s your favorite porn partner? I know Eric loves you as a partner, but who is yours?
inookii: LOL sorry I’m spilling your beans, E
xLUSCI0USx: lol, Eric is a sweet heart. i love him. not many guys like him out there
inookii: true
xLUSCI0USx: but favorite pornstar….thats a tough one
inookii: Ok top 3
xLUSCI0USx: so many good guys up there
inookii: Don’t worry about feelings. If they’re not named, they’ll work harder. LOL
xLUSCI0USx: obviously supamanexclusive was my top cuz he was my ex but hes gone
inookii: awwwww
xLUSCI0USx: sorry guys if u dont make it its nothing personal :)
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: so my top 3, lets see…
xLUSCI0USx: gotta put Henvoiv on there
inookii: Da Henny!!!
xLUSCI0USx: or as some of the girls call him white chocolate lol
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: i started talking to Rob from Legends a little more and discovered he’s pretty good
xLUSCI0USx: so he’s in there too, and Gumbosauce…love his stories
inookii: I think I know Gumbo. I’m so horrible at remembering names. :P
xLUSCI0USx: he’s in IX too
inookii: Congrats guys. The rest of you work harder to be on the Luscious List! LOL
xLUSCI0USx: lol if u guys want to put in the work im available to work with u
inookii: LOL You’re about to be booked til Christmas.

I MADE THE LIST! YESSS!

inookii: Im surprised no girls made the list tho
xLUSCI0USx: lol
inookii: Are you strictly dickly or prefer dicks?
xLUSCI0USx: oh i thought we were talking guys only
inookii: Oh is there a top 3 girls?
xLUSCI0USx: no i like the occasional pussy licking lol
inookii: nam nam!
inookii: I mean, oh…interesting! lol
xLUSCI0USx: Aly is number one… no doubt
inookii: Yay, Alyyyy!
xLUSCI0USx: Dolly also is so yummy…our up and coming star, she might take my job away from me lol
xLUSCI0USx: i know ur not a pornstar but i love ur work that u put out… super hot
inookii: Waiiiit…me???!
xLUSCI0USx: yes u, girl ur hot
inookii: LOL I was like huh??? :O
inookii: awwww thank youuuu! you’re sweet.
xLUSCI0USx: yw but just speaking the truth, and i love ur products too
inookii: Aww thanks so much. I’ll send you some, if you have some on your list. The support has been great.


“MY CREATIVITY IS IN PORN” 

inookii: Do you create, as well?
xLUSCI0USx: no i dont, i dont have the patience to create lol
inookii: lol it IS annoying
xLUSCI0USx: my creativity is in porn lol
inookii: We love your porn
xLUSCI0USx: i tried it once a long time ago and almost threw my laptop against the wall lol
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: im glad my porn brings smiles to ppls faces lol
inookii: I get help a lot. I don’t have the patience or the time all the time.
xLUSCI0USx: i give it to u for doing it still, not my thing lol
inookii: So let’s talk about your porn some more, then…
xLUSCI0USx: sure
inookii: Are the scenes real…or are they poses, or a bit of both?
xLUSCI0USx: ill say 95% or more are real
xLUSCI0USx: i go all in lol
inookii: LOL yesssss!
inookii: And are you into BM poses, BM pose and RP or just RP?
inookii: well, i guess for your work you do have to have the poses.
xLUSCI0USx: bm and rp
inookii: Nice!
xLUSCI0USx: yeah for the most part but rp is the biggest thing with me
inookii: Great RP is key!
xLUSCI0USx: u cant have bad rp cuz then the poses dont do anything. u can still have a great time with basic poses as long as the rp is on point
inookii: true!
xLUSCI0USx: i just cant get into it with guys or girls that have bad rp skills


DICK PICKY?

inookii: So recently, someone was beefing about stuck up pornstars…are you one of the stuck up pornstars? LOL Meaning, are you picky about who you do or …?
xLUSCI0USx: the thing is most ppl are surprised that im not stuck up when they meet me, they always assumed i was stuck up
xLUSCI0USx: but im not really picky with who i work with. ive worked with many different guys from different companies
xLUSCI0USx: the only ones i dont work with are the ones that are always surrounded by some kind of drama, i dont do drama
inookii: LOL omg the drama is at an all-time high!!!
inookii: So who’s on your radar to put in some work with next? Like who are you dying to work with? Or do they come to you since you’re such a umm
inookii: since you’re like top of the line, right now.
xLUSCI0USx: dont really have anyone on my radar right now but i did get to work with Rob recently and he was on my list before we did our pirate scene
xLUSCI0USx: but if anyone out there wants to work with me just let me know lol
inookii: hmmmm… you said Rob twice. I feel like there’s something there. LOL
xLUSCI0USx: lol i plead the 5th
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: we just friends and talking thats all
inookii: o.O


“FUCKING FIXES EVERYTHING”

inookii: So when was the last time you had a secret affair? Something hot and sneaky.
xLUSCI0USx: oh wow that’s been a while
inookii: Whaat?!?!
xLUSCI0USx: it had to be before i became a pornstar
xLUSCI0USx: yeah ive been a good girl lol
inookii: People are so busy with drama, no one is sneaking into DMs to be freaky anymore? Shame
inookii: LOL @ good girl
xLUSCI0USx: i get some DM on tumblr but its usually from the guys ive worked with
xLUSCI0USx: just a little flirting here and there but nothing big or serious
xLUSCI0USx: im just a flirty person and i guess i bring that out in the guys and in some girls too lol
inookii: LOL Good, we need the fun back. Everybody should flirt and fuck and stop fighting.
xLUSCI0USx: fucking fixes everything lol
inookii: This has been proven lol


DATING LUSCIOUS

inookii: Do you remember what your favorite scene was? The most enjoyable ever?
xLUSCI0USx: probably my first one
xLUSCI0USx: cuz it was new to me and didn’t know what to expect
inookii: The spontaneity and not knowing what to expect was the turn on?
xLUSCI0USx: hell yeah ma :p
inookii: So when you and Rob begin to date, how do you imagine the perfect date night to be?
inookii: Are you into dinner and a movie or straight to the bedroom?
xLUSCI0USx: lol
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: if Rob or any guy begins to date, a perfect night would be as simple as sitting and hanging around
xLUSCI0USx: i need a guy that keeps my attention with talk, and not make it about sex all the time
inookii: oh gosh, that’s hard to find on imvu
xLUSCI0USx: ik it is
inookii: Everybody is super horny all the time.
xLUSCI0USx: but there’s a few out there that have. that’s what i find attractive on here
xLUSCI0USx: if u do that to me, my panties come off lol
inookii: Yes, someone who has more than dick to offer
xLUSCI0USx: exactly
inookii: Yes, make me wanna give it to you…don’t just crave me. Make me crave you too.
xLUSCI0USx: yep, when guys do that to me im usually the first one that makes the move to head to the bedroom lol
inookii: LOL same
xLUSCI0USx: if u come to me straight up asking for pussy don’t bother cuz u aint getting it
inookii: omg i thought that was just me
xLUSCI0USx: looks like we have a lot in common lol
inookii: Yes. LOL
inookii: Do you date girls on imvu?
xLUSCI0USx: i havent dated any girls on here, just hooked up with a few but just never dated one
xLUSCI0USx: just never happened i guess… but im not against it 😝. hit me up ladies lol
inookii: LOL Wow…I always say girls are for hookups, boys are for dating.
xLUSCI0USx: if i got with a girl she gotta be ok with me getting the penis every so often lol
inookii: Would you date a futa girl? Or would you be a futa for her?
xLUSCI0USx: nothing against them but not really my thing
inookii: Another thing we have in common.
xLUSCI0USx: it has to be a guy dick in me lol
inookii: I have a lot of friends who are, and I love them dearly, but I’m not into it.
inookii: I want my dick to come from a big retarded man lol
xLUSCI0USx: lol u know it


REAL LIFE PORN

inookii: Do you watch regular real porn or are you too busy making your own?
xLUSCI0USx: oh no i be watching real porn too. always have
inookii: What are you into? Genre? And who is your fav pornstar?
xLUSCI0USx: dont really have a favorite pornstar but i like watching big booty girls get it
inookii: yesss!
xLUSCI0USx: if a girl in the porn isnt hot i cant watch it lol
xLUSCI0USx: do u recommend any pornstars?
inookii: Jada!!! Lol Jada Stevens.
xLUSCI0USx: ill have to look her up
inookii: She’s so sexy.
xLUSCI0USx: if u say she is im sure she is. so i know what ill be looking up later
inookii: Yes, just her demeanor…the way she moans, the way she sucks dick…amazing

inookii: My least fav thing about porn is the cum shot…whats yours?
xLUSCI0USx: my least favorite is how a girl moans. some of them are annoying.
xLUSCI0USx: i fast foward to the parts shes sucking dick and when shes riding the guys dick lol
xLUSCI0USx: sometimes i pretend its me lol
inookii: LOL You’re so bad
xLUSCI0USx: no I’m a good girl lol
inookii: If you had only 5 minutes, would you fast forward to the ride, the dicksuck or the pussy eating?
xLUSCI0USx: the ride  :p
inookii: oooo!  the pussy eating is my fav… and I like to watch anal too
inookii: But Im a prude, not a perv so…lol
xLUSCI0USx: lol


…AND THEN THE FREAKS CAME OUT!

inookii: So we know that guys who know how to finesse you and make you want them is a turn on…what are some things about you that turn you on. For example, I love to not wear panties…it makes me feel sexy and naughty.
xLUSCI0USx: i like to show off my body. the less clothes i wear the better
inookii: Yesss!
xLUSCI0USx: as u can see right now, i got my tits hanging out lol
inookii: LOL Im covered up like a nice girl.:P
xLUSCI0USx: still looking hot af
inookii: awww ty!
xLUSCI0USx: yvw… wouldnt mind taking u back to my place :p
inookii: OMG! LOL Are we making each other horny??
xLUSCI0USx: sorry didnt mean to say that out loud lol
inookii: LOL Let’s talk about church
xLUSCI0USx: i got horny the minute i walked in here lol
inookii: Have you ever fucked in a church….fantasized about fucking in a church or….? LOL
xLUSCI0USx: no i never have but now that u mentioned it im gonna be thinking about it
xLUSCI0USx: lol sorry lord
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: im going to hell
inookii: That would be an awesome porn scene… giving head to the pope, while he’s wearing his gown thingie
xLUSCI0USx: omg girl lol u something else
xLUSCI0USx: i love it
inookii: LOL we’re going to hell
xLUSCI0USx: mhm
inookii: Whats the freakiest place you’ve done it on imvu or irl?
xLUSCI0USx: in rl i fucked in the coat room at my friend’s wedding lol
inookii: omg lol
xLUSCI0USx: ppl just on the other side of the door
xLUSCI0USx: could of easily opened the door and caught us
inookii: Well, at least it wasn’t with the groom or was it? LOL
xLUSCI0USx: no no lol it was my man
inookii: oh ok… and on here?
xLUSCI0USx: on here, ive fucked in public rooms before with ppl watching lol
inookii: omg back in the day??  i miss those days
xLUSCI0USx: mhm  when everyone went to rooms and chill with ppl
inookii: yes and u could walk in and just join a sex act
inookii: now people wanna expose you…like, who slutshames on a sexual game?! LOL
xLUSCI0USx: ikr lol but i dont care if someone wants to expose me.  i know i get around lol

*ZOOMS IN ON THE LUSCIOUS*

inookii: Soo what made you switch from red hair to blue? I love it, btw
xLUSCI0USx: ty love. just wanted to try something new
inookii: Very cute!
xLUSCI0USx: ty :) eventually ill go back to the red at some point. like to keep it fresh
inookii: Are you XPlus or XXL or you just go with whatever’s sexy? Guys wanna know when they go shopping for you. Hint hint!
xLUSCI0USx: i usually wear both. just depends on whats sexy when im going shoppin 😝 lol
inookii: IDK why I thought I saw you with bigger tits. Not that I’m looking O.O  -_- <closing my eyes
xLUSCI0USx: its ok u can look *sits back and lets them out more than they are*
inookii: LOL Girl, your tiddies is showing LOL I just zoomed in!  wooohooo
xLUSCI0USx: told u
inookii: I thought it was just sideboob
xLUSCI0USx: i like to let them breathe
inookii: LOL Lord help me
BLEEEEP BLEEEP BLEEEEPITY BLEEP BLEEPEEEEP! LOL >CENSORED<
inookii: Lordt Ok let’s talk about church again
inookii: So… church… lol
xLUSCI0USx: lol


IX IS RECRUITING!

inookii: Who does an aspiring pornstar or someone who wants to leave their crappy group contact to join IX?
xLUSCI0USx: we are looking for some male talent. Anyone interested u can hit me up, or Henny or Aly
inookii: I know Wolfie is dying to become a pornstar. You know him.
xLUSCI0USx: i dont think ive had the pleasure but then again im bad with names if ive only met u once or twice
xLUSCI0USx: but if hes interested tell him to hit me up and we’ll give him an interview. but remember Wolfie, gotta have good rp lol thats the key lol.
inookii: Noooo, you know him. He’ll die if he sees you saying you don’t know him. He worships you.
inookii: Let me find his real name.lol WolfBoi
xLUSCI0USx: oh ok now i know who u talking about lol
inookii: The funny thing is he has a gf. I hope she’s not on tumblr to read this.
xLUSCI0USx: sorry gf
inookii: lol
xLUSCI0USx: lol


MARRY, KILL, FUCK

inookii: Aright so let’s play marry, kill, fuck…
inookii: wait…no kill… Marry, fuck, oral LOL
xLUSCI0USx: ok lol
inookii: Amber Rose, Beyonce, Rihanna
xLUSCI0USx: marry beyonce… girl got money lol
inookii: yessss lol
xLUSCI0USx: fuck amber, and rihanna oral lol
inookii: omg i agree
xLUSCI0USx: lol
inookii: fuck the shit outa amber’s fat ass, and rih is so delicious
xLUSCI0USx: hell yeah… if amber rose showed up at my house i would wish a dick appeared on my body so i can fuck her good lol
inookii: LOL
xLUSCI0USx: all i need is half hour tops lol
inookii: Would you watch Rob do her and then eat her off his dick?
inookii: wait…the interview went left.
inookii: disregard disregarddddttt! LOL
xLUSCI0USx: why u keep bringing his name up? Lol but yes i would lol …i hope he can handle amber rose lol


BEEF…IT’S NOT THE MEAT WE PREFER

inookii: Which one is Rob? Robydenell or something like that?
xLUSCI0USx: yes him
inookii: Oh i think i saw his name in beef recently
inookii : LOL the beefs ….let’s talk beefs …very briefly because no one has time for lames
xLUSCI0USx: lol ok
inookii: Do you think these miserable fucks who start beef do it because they’re ugly and bitter or just to get their names out there?
xLUSCI0USx: i think its mostly cuz their bitter but i can see them doing it cuz they want their name out there. what better way to get ur name out there than attack the ones on top
inookii: True. So true. Put some damn work in, you lames! Some good work.
xLUSCI0USx: that’s why some ppl can’t keep ur and aly’s name out of their mouth
inookiiinookii : I hope they choke LOL
xLUSCI0USx: lol we just all need to get along. no need for the hate. we here for fun

NEVER GIVE UP!

inookii : Aright, I’ve kept you here long enough looking at your booty fall thru the seat of the chair and your little cute tits stare at me…LOL
xLUSCI0USx : they like what they see lol
inookii: So before we go, let the fans know how to reach you…and if you have any words of advice for aspiring stars…
xLUSCI0USx: anyone can reach me by messaging me on tumblr…thats the quickest way ill get back to u
xLUSCI0USx: and for all the aspiring stars, keep at it and dont give up
inookii: Now you know some of them need to give up but awww that’s sweet. lol
inookii: jk….never give up!
xLUSCI0USx: lol

………………………………………………………………………………………

I swear, this was so much effin fun!  😜