ok i know i said i was done with this event but this picture is just perfect

Do you ever think about how wild the public perception of victuuri must be??

Like ok. Characters first.

Victor Nikiforov, who is considered to be this flirty playboy. He’s the perfect skater; elegant, refined, amazing jumps, spins, step sequences. He has it all, and he’s won it all. I bet you everybody thought Victor and Chris were fuckin or something b/c they’re obviously friends and you know what the media is like. 

Victor is such a private person; he’s really skilled in telling you everything while saying nothing. He’s got incredible press skills. I bet the media must be starving for another side of Victor–his love life most specifically. The playboy thing is most likely an exaggeration tabloids put together, and it sorta just caught on. All these reports of Victor being seen with so and so must mean he’s seeing them, right?

Victor has been called selfish before. It’s probably a very common belief that he’s quiet and serious and really only cares about himself and the ice. This cannot be further from the truth, but it’s how people see him. An immaculate god.

Then, Yuuri Katsuki. He’s sort of reclusive and doesn’t interact much. There’s not much on any of his social media accounts; the opposite of Victor. While Victor delivers constant content, Yuuri hides away. He avoids people, doesn’t really interact with fans, and seemingly snubs other competitors. 

People think he’s arrogant. Yuuri looks away from others like they’re not worth his time, which is totally uncalled for considering he can’t land his jumps, right? Yuuri’s spins and footwork are amazing, but he always falters technically. He gets a lot of flack from the press and the public for this; they say he’s mentally weak, he’s a mediocre skater at best, he should just stop trying. At times, Yuuri even believes them.

The beloved, sexy ice god versus the shy, weak underdog. 

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this is the only photo where there’s nothing drawn on it. the rest’s gonna be in the post

*tries to stay awake* I can finally say…My last prompt for the Lapidot Anniversary week is DONE ! It’s 2 AM, but …IT WAS WORTH IT. NOW LET’S BEGIN.

Now you’re probably wondering…

What the heck is this.

 I had another idea involving a selfie, but it was also involving asking my ex-roommate. Since I’m blue and he’s green it would have been easy…But he would have probably refused  and…well he doesn’t live here anymore. So I gave up huehue

Now lemme explain. I have a HUGE mineral collection and an awful lot of pets.

As you can see, i have several peridots and lapises (and it’s not even all of them- you’ll see later). And I…also have a small cinnamon rat called Steven - well, actually, Mordecai, but Steven is his other name cause I didn’t wanna choose-

“I think he saw me !!!”

He LOVES stealing my gemstones, especially my bracelets. I often takes photos of him with them (I also have a Sans with a aquamarine on his head buuut not for today). So I decided, for the Photo prompt, to take photos of him and make our favorite nerds interact with him.


I think Lapis is taking some…advantage of the situation…

And yes. Yes. He legit tried to eat the peridot. I had to take it because he wanted to flee with it.

Seems Peridot actually trust Rat Steven…

I first wanted to make stuff as detailed as this one but I had no time. So some of them are totally sketchy.

…Wait. I didn’t finish. I…didn’t introduce my mice !! 8D

Out of 5 mice. I have three females.

One day, I just showed the biggest one to my friends. A big, orange mouse, with a mark across her face. Since I showed her, all my friends calls her Jasper (she’s also a brute…so it’s actually perfect haha). Aaand.

The same hapenned to the two other mice.


I have two mice nicknamed “Lapis” (brown one) and “Peridot” (well..the one on the candle, also the smallest of the group). When I remembered this I immediatly took them out to take photos.

They’re extremely bonded (and I talk about all of them) but fun fact is that when I take one of these two out the other starts to follow hahaha.


actually she’s just trying to steal food but it’s still fun and cute

Yes, food because it took me a lot of time to take these photos but also a lot of mozarella so they’d stop randomly walking around on my desk.

yes Lap also tried to eat this bracelet…like wow i know it kinda looks like candy but wtf

“wth are you looking at you clod”

“spotted lmao”

And that’s. All. I could have put more picture and more detailed stuff but as I said before, I had no time.

In case you were wondering, the small rock are gifts from someone who found them near a volcano. There’s olivine on them~

And I didn’t buy the candles on purpose. I bought the blue one last year (there’s also some yellow on it :3) and I received the lime green one for my birthday (like the small bracelet, the olivines and the small lapis) last april and weeell seems it was the perfect moment <3 The decoration stayed like this since the day I took the photo, I…just find it beautiful like this. I just wear the bracelets but the rest never changed :’)

Well. I’m glad I’ve been part of this awesome event ! This relationship needed to be celebrated, these dorks are amazing and this ship doesn’t deserve all the stupid hate (which is weird because it’s also the most popular ?…). You can try and convince me but I will never change my mind about them. Peridot always looked to have a huge crush on Lapis to me, she just…looks like me when I like someone too much like it’s so obvious it looks like it’s written on the face XD

Now, I just need to add something to this huuuuuuge post: I talked about a cross over I made before the event. I will post it tomorrow ! Cuz I don’t know where it is and now I’m just gonna faint. I just wanted to post the last prompt before throwing myself in my bed.

Also Lapidot rules /o/ (and boop @lapidot-anniversary-week and @jenhedgehog …or @luclipse85 ? idk - hope it’s still ok to post now)

Your Smile

Lance and Shiro has to act like they’re together to help gain an alliance. Shiro thinks he has to deal with a few days of Lance’s flirting. Boy, is he in for a big surprise.

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You Left Me- Calum Hood

Originally posted by digmedownmendes

“Oh, you left me with a broken heart, And now I see what I should’ve from the startOh, you left me with nothing but a kiss, And now I’m leaving you with these lips” -You Left Me, The Maine (I’m so obsessed with this song rn)

So this is a long one….just warning you. Part of the PR request, this one for Calum!! So hope you guys enjoy…Also this gif is so cute….

You have never really done PR relationships before. As a pretty well known model, of course you’ve been asked to before, but the most you’ve done was accompany some actor to an awards show. That was a PR date, you’ve never done anything like faking an entire relationship. How did that even work anyway? You weren’t sure. You didn’t even know who the guy was that you were supposed to “date”. All that you knew was that he was a famous artist who never really had his relationships in the public eye. His management wanted to change this, give something for the fans to talk about. Everything else was hush-hush, other than the fact both your management and his said you both would be a good match. Whatever that meant.

All of that was about to change however, because the contracts seem to finally come through, and you were now going to meet your new “boyfriend” for the next three weeks.

You walked into the conference room, where the final arrangements were going to be met.

“Miss Y/n! Nice to meet you. I’m Cal’s manager. Please have a seat he will be here shortly.” A man in a suit said, gesturing for you to take a seat.

You sat down while your managers talked, beginning to finalize everything while you waited on “Cal”. They were speaking legal jargon, so you didn’t really catch much of what was said. All you knew was that now everything was done contract wise. The only thing left to do was your part. Pictures, dates, events, etc for at least the next three weeks. Great. Now when was Cal going to get here. Was that his name, or short for something. What could it be short for anyway?

Just then a tanned, muscular figure, with short black curly hair walked in. Your eyes caught his deep brown ones. A thousand emotions played through those eyes. Shock, surprise, worry, pain, happiness, uncertainty, sadness…

“Calum?” You said standing up. “That’s what ‘Cal’ is short for?! You’ve got to be kidding me! No! I…I can’t do this…” You stormed out of the room.

Calum rushed out after you, catching your arm in the hall.

“Y/n? You’re the model? What? How?”

“What never thought I could be a model?”

“Don’t say that…you know I have never thought that”

“Well I don’t know Calum, I truly don’t  know how you ever thought of me. It’s not like you ever cared. It has been what? Like 3 years?”

“Hey, you left me!”

“And why was that Calum!? You got caught up in the fame. You changed, became someone I didn’t even recognize! Someone who only cared about partying. And what was it you told me the night I left? You didn’t need me. You never needed me.”

He shook his head. “Y/n I-”

“We didn’t know you two had met previously” Calum’s manager said.

“Look, despite the obvious tension here, Y/n, Calum, you guys did sign a contract. I’m sorry we weren’t aware of any previous history, but you guys will just have to get over it for the next few weeks. Agreed?”

You gave a bitter laugh, and Calum clenched his jaw.

“Fine” You both muttered.

“Alrighty then. Well we have your first date planned for next week, we’ll send you both the details”

And with that they were gone, and you both were left alone.


“Don’t even. This will be all over soon, and we’ll be out of each others lives for good. Ok?” You said, walking out towards the elevator so you could get far away from that hotel. From him.


Sure enough a few days later you received a text message.

Mario’s Pizza. 7pm. Tomorrow night.

Well that was short and to the point. Oh well, guess you really didn’t need to know much more. You decided to go shopping, you needed a new dress for tomorrow nights “date”. Ugh. You weren’t looking forward to this, but there was no way in hell you wouldn’t look your best. Show that asshole all he gave up on.

The next night you arrived 5 minutes late, since Calum used to always show up about 10 minutes late. No use in sitting at the table by yourself longer than you had to. When the hostess led you to your table, you were surprised to find Calum already there. Not only there, but with a bouquet of roses too. Once he saw you, he stood up, and went to pull out your seat. Once you sat down, he held out the flowers to you. You eyed them warily.

“Who are you and what have you done with Calum?”

“I thought you’d like them…” He said looking down, but still had his hand out, waiting for you to take the roses.

“If you’re trying to kiss and makeup it’s not gonna work Cal” You said, trying to ignore him. He continued standing there though. You sighed and took the flowers. “Thanks”

“Of course” He said sitting back down.

“You’re early”

“Well I couldn’t be late now could I?”

“Never seemed that way before”

You were interrupted when the waiter came to your table, and took your orders. You both quickly ordered, and didn’t speak much until your food arrived.

You had just started eating when Calum cleared his throat.

“Hey smile would you?” He asked you.

You looked up and saw his phone out, camera pointing straight towards you.

“Instagram?” You asked instantly smiling, knowing your manager would kill you if you didn’t.

“Snapchat actually”

You frowned. “Please tell me you did not put a filter on my face”

He just smiled and shrugged.

“Calum I swear-”

“You’ll have to check yourself”

You sighed and pulled out your phone. You checked his snapchat and sure enough there was a picture of you, with the dog filter. And the caption puppy love. Could be worse.

“Wow…actually a good picture…”

He chuckled.

“What?” you asked, as he continued laughing.

“You follow me on snapchat?”

“What? Of course. I added you a few days ago, we’re supposed to be dating right? I added you on most platforms. You didn’t notice?” This was half true. The snap account you were using was more like a fake one, where you could follow people without them knowing who you were. Like Calum for instance, who you kept tabs on. But on all your public accounts, you added him recently.

“Oh.” He said, not fully believing what you said. He always could sense when you were lying. Some things never change.

“Your turn” You said, quickly switching accounts to your public and holding up your phone.  Unlike him, you weren’t feeling as kind. You quickly searched through the filter until you found the perfect one.

“Done?” He asked as you set your phone down.

“Let me see”

“No. Guess you’ll just have to look yourself”

He rolled his eyes but checked his phone anyway. He laughed and shook his head as he saw some alien filter on him, with the caption 'this date is out of this world’.

“Cheesy as ever”

“You follow me on snap?” You teased.

“Of course. Always have followed you on everything Y/n. I’m surprised you didn’t notice” He raised his hand for the check. While his head was turned you took another picture for insta, side-shots of Calum always looked good. You simply put a heart then posted it. You thought he deserved one good picture. You tagged him, and you heard his phone go off. He picked his phone and looked confused as he saw the picture, then he smiled.

“Ready to go?”

You simply nodded.

He insisted on walking you home, despite yourself you agreed.  Thank goodness you weren’t far.

You reached your building when he grabbed your hand.

“What?” You asked.

“Y/n I have to tell you-”

“Calum I don’t wanna hear it. This night was good so just leave it at that!”

“No I can’t. I have to tell you.”


“Y/n I’m sorry. I never meant anything I said that night, I was drunk and stupid and I….I never expected you to leave me like that. That’s not an excuse I know. I felt terrible after that. It broke my heart to see you go, because I needed you Y/n…I needed you so much. I realized that right away. I was so stupid…”

“You didn’t even call or anything Calum. How sorry could you have been? I’m still convinced you never even loved me. That what we had meant nothing and-”

“You deserved better. Far better than me. I’d hope you’d find it. But here we are, you still get caught up with me…”

You turned your head, feeling the tears coming down your face. He moved closer, putting his hand on the side of your face, turning your head so you looked at him.

“And Y/n….I did love you, in fact I still love you. There’s no one else like you Y/n…no other girl could compare. I fucked up once before and I can’t let anything like that happen again”

“What are you trying to say Cal?”

“I don’t want to have a pretend anything. Can we make this real? Can you give me one last chance? Please Y/n, I promise I’m not the same guy you walked out on that night, and I never will be. Just one chance…that’s all I ask…”

You looked up into his chocolate brown eyes, so full of love and fear of rejection.

“I better not regret this…” You said, bringing his lips to yours.


That was fun haha. Hope you guys liked it!! Post every Monday, and requests always open! Thanks for reading- Lydia

Avoiding and Secrets

Pairing: Evan Hansen x reader

Words: 1600 (heck that’s a lot)

Warnings: None?

Requested by @trocks252: Um I have a request for Evan x reader.They were friends for years but Evan stops hanging out with the reader making her upset only to realize it was because he was planning the perfect date

A/N: I’ve been animating Michael in the Bathroom but hi I’m back !! Also I have a horrible fucking headache so this was probably terribly written I’m sorry

((also notice how Y/N changes Evan’s contact name??? Because rip))

You’ve been friends with Evan for years.

The two of you spent nearly every day with each other, considering how the only other friend either of you had was Evan’s family friend Jared Kleinman.

When there was a slight shift in Evan’s behavior, you took notice immediately.

“Hey Evan!” You called out, a smile on your face as you saw your best friend standing at his locker, just like any other morning. He spun around, surprise evident on his features before he relaxed, waving when he saw you.

“Hey.” He greeted quietly, gaze fixed on the floor.

Evan looked up, glancing at Jared as he walked past. His eyes widened, and he turned from him to you.

“I have to go talk to Jared about something, you can just walk to class without me.” And with that, you watched Evan disappear down the hall after his friend.

You stood there for a moment, processing what happened. Evan always walked to class with you.

As you made your way to class, you couldn’t stop thinking about Evan. You two walked together everyday, considering how close all your classes were.

With a sigh, you pushed the door to the classroom open, collapsing into your seat as the teacher began his lecture.

The next day came slowly, and you rushed up to Evan’s locker, freezing when you saw he wasn’t there.

Evan’s always here. You thought to yourself, pulling out your phone and shooting him a text.

To: Tree Boy 💙

Hey where are you???

A few minutes passed while you stood at his locker, awkwardly searching the crowd of people passing for Evan. When your phone buzzed, you frantically checked your messages.

From: Tree Boy 💙

Sorry had to talk to Jared about something !! Be there in a sec,, sorry

A smile crept up on your face as you read over his text, looking up just in time to see Evan make his way through the crowd.

“Hey, sorry about that! I just had to talk to Jared about something and I really should’ve texted you before because I’m usually always here but I wasn’t today? And I always text you when things come up and I don’t know why I didn’t remember to today? It’s just that things have been really busy and I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to make excuses but I just-” He paused, taking in a breath.

“It’s fine, Evan.” You couldn’t help but smile at Evan’s rambling.

He was silent the whole walk to your classes, but you could tell something was on his mind. Knowing he’d tell you when he was ready, you didn’t bring it up. However, you couldn’t help but remind yourself of how distant Evan had started being.

Before you could fall deep into thought, you reached your class and said your goodbyes to Evan.

After school, you noticed a text from Evan.

From: Tree Boy 💙

I had to rush home to work on something, sorry!! You don’t need to wait for me at least,, sorry,, I’ll see you tomorrow !!

You frowned, shoving your phone in your pocket and heading home. Did you do something wrong?

Another day passed, and morning went as well as it usually, but once again, he didn’t show up after school.

“Y/N!” Jared’s familiar voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, Jared! What’s up?” You smiled.

“I was told to tell you that Evan had to go home again, and that you don’t have to wait for him. And that he’s sorry.” He recited, standing for a moment to let you process the information.

“Oh. Ok.” You muttered under your breath, your mind was already running wild with things you could’ve done wrong.

“Dude, what the fuck, are you okay?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s just,” You sighed. “Evan’s been really distant lately? Like this is the second day I’ve walked home alone in a row, Jared. He wasn’t even at his locker this morning which is weird because, you know Evan, he has a routine!” You began rambling, stopping when you saw the look on Jared’s face. “What?”

“What? Oh, uh, nothing!” Jared smiled.

“You’re a terrible actor. What are you hiding from me?” You grew impatient, fed up from the recent events with Evan.

“Nothing, I promise!” He lied, turning around to head home.

When you woke up with a text from Evan, you weren’t surprise to see another excuse.

From: Evan

I’m sick today sorry,, I’ll try to come tomorrow though !! sorry

You sighed, turning off your phone and climbing out of your bed to get ready for school. You had almost adjusted to life without Evan constantly by your side by now.

The day went by like it had every other day this week. Slow and alone. Especially since Evan didn’t even go to school that day so you couldn’t even say hi to him in the morning or between classes.

While you walked home, you glanced at the people walking slightly ahead of you on the other side of the street, stopping in your tracks.

Evan walked beside Jared, deep in conversation. He was clearly not sick.

Anger boiled up inside you, frustration from the past week pushing you to confront him. After a few deep breaths, you turned your gaze away from them and continued home.

The rest of the week went by slowly, listening to Evan’s excuses, pretending to believe Evan’s excuses, until finally it was Friday.

A note fell out of your locker, fluttering to the ground as you stepped back in surprise.

What the hell?

You bent down to pick it up, slowly reading the rushed handwriting that you knew all too well.

Dear Y/N,

Meet me after school by The Tree

A smile made its way on your face as you read the note over and over again. The Tree was what you and Evan called a tree that sat just off campus. As soon as you hit sophomore year and were allowed off campus, you would sit with Evan in the tree eating your lunch together and talking about whatever you felt like. It was always so peaceful, and you always looked forward to it.

He hadn’t shown up to it once that entire week.

In fact, you haven’t even seen Evan all day. He didn’t show up to 5th period, your only class with him, and you didn’t see him in the hallways.

When the final bell rang, you rushed outside, seeing a small figure stood at The Tree. Recognizing the signature blue shirt, you raced forward, breathing heavily when you reached him.

“What the fuck?” You wondered, once you were near enough so he could hear you.

“I-I have an explanation. I promise.” He started, before walking down the sidewalk, you following close behind.

The two of you reached a car that you recognized as Jared’s, and you both got in the backseat.

“Where to?” Jared questioned, looking to Evan.

“Jared,” Evan muttered quietly, before Jared chuckled lightly, starting the engine.

The car ride was silent, and you spent the whole time staring at Evan. He looked so nervous, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and glancing around the car on occasion.

When the car stopped, you glanced out the window, taking in the view of the orchard. You always drove past, but never actually went.

It was beautiful.

A smile appeared on your face and you heard Evan whisper “We’re here.”

Walking to the orchard with Evan was peaceful and calm, despite how nervous the boy was. Finally, you stopped in a clearing covered in decorations. Each and every one was related to you and Evan’s friendship. Next to you, there was a string of polaroid pictures hung from one tree to another, and lights were hung up around the trees surrounding the clearing. You couldn’t stop smiling as you gazed at the small memories Evan incorporated into every tree around you. There was a nearby fence, with a small blanket laid in front of it.

“Evan…” You breathed, in awe of the sight in front of you.

“Sorry I was really distant this week but I was kinda planning this and I wanted it to be perfect,” He began, before you grabbed his hand gently and sat with him on the blanket he set out.

“It’s perfect, but why?” You looked at Evan, who was more nervous than ever and had begun turning red.

“Um- well, I- it’s just- I,” He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “I really like you?”

Your breath hitched as you stared at him.

“Do you wanna maybe- I mean you don’t have to but- well I was wondering if- will you be my girlfriend?” He didn’t look at you, instead focusing on the ground.

“Evan.” He shut his eyes, bracing for the worst. “I would love to.” His eyes opened slowly, confused.

“R-really?” His face turned a darker red.

“Yes!” You smiled, pulling him into a hug.

“Thank you.”

my soul is not satisfied

I was told that it was unacceptable to leave forgetting is too long the way it is, and, given the current state of things and my inability to imagine anything but roses and rainbows for these two, I kind of agree. but dear lord work had to go in before we can get there. 

read it on ao3


Heads hung and feet shuffled as the San Diego Padres trudged back into the clubhouse after yet another crushing defeat. Captain Mike Lawson brought up the rear.

The team was enjoying a miserable start to the regular season and morale was at an all time low. 

Mike would have to be an idiot not to know he was partially (mostly) responsible for the latter and that the latter had definitely affected the former. While he was definitely an idiot about many things, baseball typically wasn’t one of them.

He’d been at a loss when they first started down this losing streak and, seven games later, still couldn’t quite figure out what to say to pull the team out of its funk. Not when he was in such a rut of his own and had been since the end of Spring Training.

In retrospect, it was something of a miracle that they’d had an okay run in Arizona, coming out of the Cactus League with more wins than losses and a solid 25-man roster. 

Well, 24-man-and-1-woman roster.

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Post-Punk Warrior? #WIFTV

On Monday night, #WIFTV honored me as 2016 Woman of the Year. I’ve had some requests to post the speech I gave at the event, so here it is.  

Trigger warning: feminism included. 

“I’m not very good at rules. So my speech is a bit longer than the others. But I have things to say. We all do. Because it’s our time to speak up.

But first, the thank-you segment. [cut for anonymity] 

And to all the incredible hands that have propped me up for some many years, shoulders that absorbed my tears and backbones for inspiring me. Heroes. We all need heroes. And all of you are those.

I’ve never considered myself a Woman-of-the Year type. I’m more the Tank-Girl post-punk feminist Warrior.

But Woman of the Year? I like it. Yeah.  Especially because it reminds me of one of my inspirations, the original trouser-wearing maverick, Katharine Hepburn, 

who was a feminist before the word trended, and then un-trended, and trended and untrended….

Feminist in the pure sense — not the much maligned misunderstood man-hating sense — Standing for Equality: Equal Pay. Equal Employment. Equal Rights.

And it reminds me of the interesting but flawed film Katharine Hepburn made with Spencer Tracy in 1942 — the film named for the NEW ME - the film entitled “Woman of the Year”,

As a teen, I loved the Tracy/Hepburn collaborations - their crisp combative dialogue and her righteous independence.

But somehow I knew that the ending of Woman of the Year was a disappointment, but I couldn’t remember why.

So I went on that inter-web thingy and learned some amazing facts about why the film is the perfect microcosm of Hollywood.

per Wikipedia

“The film’s plot is ostensibly about the relationship between Tess Harding, an international affairs correspondent, chosen “Woman of the Year,” and Sam Craig, a sports writer, who meet, marry, and encounter problems as a result of her unflinching commitment to her work.”

It’s an interesting problematic work, showing off Hepburn as a smart independent woman, then a partner in marriage, until  it falls apart BECAUSE she is a strong independent career woman.

The film was made to laud the equality of the sexes, and to showcase Hepburn holding her own against  the irascible Tracy. And then the film crashes and burns — with a terrible ending. Why?

The answer is painfully Hollywood. In the end, the studio didn’t want Hepburn to be equal. They insisted she had to get her comeuppance.


Yes, seriously — and how did they do that?

By re-writing the ending  to put Hepburn’s character in the kitchen and embarrass her with her failings there.

See what that valuable career did to you!

What could be more predictable or better presage women’s futures in the film business?  

Ring Lardner, one of the co-writers, whose outspokenness ultimately landed him on the Hollywood blacklist, didn’t mince words — he complained that  they  (quote)“completely f*cked it up”. (unquote)

So, then what happens?  —— The screenplay wins an Oscar.

Yup. 1942. The woman must fail. Even the Woman of the Year. Or, especially the Woman of the Year?

Needless to say,  the road from 1942 to 2016 has been less than smooth.

As a woman director, I’ve had my own battleground. In the big picture, I may look like I’ve held my own, but I haven’t. The scars are deep. And the problems aren’t over, as everyone here knows. The Film Industry is a  disaster on gender and diversity and First Nations issues.

I have spent many years being told NEVER to mention it — threatened that it was ’a sure fire way never to get hired’.

Recently I was talking to my agents about my ambitions after finishing directing Sherlock. And they said ‘Yes, you have done Sherlock. yeah, the other Sherlock directors have all been offered pilots and features off the back of it. But remember, you are a woman”. It kind of took my breath away, to hear it stated so plainly.  It wasn’t aggressive. It was so painfully casual, they probably wouldn’t even remember saying it. That’s what shocked me.

They simply meant, “We’re just going to have to work that much harder, but also be realistic about your expectations.’

I felt sick …. so I called the Doctor.

[Which requires a Knock Knock Joke and audience participation:]

Knock Knock …

[who’s there?]


[Doctor Who?]

Doctor Who — exactly.

Ok so I called that doctor. I wanted his two hearts and his sonic screwdriver to fix it.

But you can’t sonic this away.

So instead  he gave me some advice. He said  “Just remember, one thing does not lead to another.”

And what the Doctor meant, in his 4 billion years of time travel and experience and wisdom,  was not just that Time is nonLInear. But that you can’t expect it to come your way.  You can’t be complacent or believe you will be rewarded.  You have to go out, earn it, make it happen. Stand FOR something, not just AGAINST it.  [are you listening, Mr. Trump?]

Loving, fixing, changing, that’s the hard part.

We all stand for women/diversity/First Nation’s voices.

All  these underrepresented groups have stories to tell. The industry has to stop silencing us. If we can’t find support from the government, and to quote our PM “it’s 2016”. future generations will be missing out on more than half of the world’s stories and even more opportunities.

So let me stand with you —

Let me unchain your beasts and allow you to speak and write and create. Let me open the mouths of the oppressed women…of the missing women from the trailer [to the film On The Farm about Vancouver missing women from 1995-2001 – watch  here:  ] you saw for the film we made, so these women are not lost.

Let us all be invited to speak…

and …

if, as the doctor said, one thing doesn’t lead to another, then we won’t look only at the barriers, we can run around them, knock them down, vault over them and the next hurdle and  the next and the next  and the next — until we find we’ve passed all the hurdles  and we are only faced with opportunities.

Never give up.

Our creativity is our freedom. It’s a super-power. It won’t be silenced.


as a Post-Punk feminist Warrior, I chose to leave you with a lyric from the late 70’s  punk band Xray Spex:

a lyric I speak to the industry and the oppressors who have kept our voices silenced.

Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard.

But I think Oh Bondage, up yours!

_Thank you for this honor!


Chapter 23

A/N: Let me know what you think.


I looked up from my interview notes. I knew they were going to toss me a lot of easy questions, but who knew? In an age where Teen Vogue is at the forefront of educating people about difference, anything is possible.

He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms cross. Attempting and failing to look causal.

I really didn’t want to talk, but it was either this or starting at my notes while my brain puts Lucy’s exit on a loop. So I took the lesser of two. Closing my notes and I said.

“I’m sorry I just… I shouldn’t have said the way I did, which doesn’t mean…. I don’t mean the essence of it.” I saw he little smile that had been playing around his lips disappear, and his arms arms tighten. As if he was trying to protect himself from me. “Sorry that came out wrong again. I’m not very good at this…”

“I noticed.” He said a dry laugh escaping his lips. I noded

“I deserve that.” I didn’t really know how to start something like this. How do you tell someone that… I didn’t even know what. That I liked looking at his face? That being in this house had become my happy place when I was overly stressed at work. That when he was kissing me, the rest of the world melted away. How do you tell someone something like that?

He sat down next to me. 

“Let’s start slow. How were the first two weeks of work?”

“I am not sure how I’m still standing.”

I quickly added. “Don’t get me wrong, I love it. I just…” I looked down at my wringing hands. “It is so much work. Not even the content. I know all of that, but… everything around that. I know nothing about editing, or management. I am lucky that they all get along because, I have no idea how to play Solomon. How much is too much…? Now these minisodes.” I let out a huff of breath.


“Casey wants me to do 10 minute segments on current events, like voter fraud and…”

“That sounds great.” He actually looked excited. 

“It is a great idea but… we have so much work to do. Casey wants these to start rolling out in November… and I honestly don’t know if I can. Every day I think about quitting. I feel so ungrateful, because they are taking a chance on me.”

The exhaustion of the last week crash over me, and I started to cry. Without a word Seth pulled me to his chest, and started to rub my back. My heart slowed and the crushing sense of exhaustion lessened a bit.

“You’re going to be fine.”

“How do you know that?” I asked, sobs still breaking out of my chest in waves.

“Because you’re Wonder Woman, and Wonder Woman can do anything. I get the stress your under. The first couple of years I lived in constant fear of…”

“Cancelation?” He let out a small laugh.  

“That too, but more that people would start to hate me. That my staff would fall apart, and I would be stuck doing this alone.”  

“No wonder you do most of the voices.”

“Well that has many reasons.”

“Perfectionist much?” He chuckled. It reverberated in his chest, and through me and it gave me comfort. Something to hold onto. That this right here, was real.

“Takes one to know one.”

“Yeah, I keep having nightmares about the show going up in flames.”

Sometimes it was my fault. Like the one where I get something completely wrong. Everyone disavows me, and the show is driven off the air. Then there were ones where our ratings are just not good enough. Or every person I had ever held in any esteem calls me, to tell me that I had made was the worst piece of TV they had ever seen.

“Then you’ll get a fire extinguisher and save it.”

“Thanks Steve.”


“I googled it. Steve Trevor is one of Wonder Woman’s sidekicks.”

“Happy to be Steve.” We stayed quiet for a couple of minutes. I synced my breathing with his, and just as I thought he had fallen asleep, he said.

“So I was talking to Charlize.”

“That is always a sign of trouble.” I did love her, but there were times…   

“She said we should…”

“Work on just the next six months? She told me the same thing.” I knew she was going to do something like that. My best guess was that she had done it while I was in the bathroom.

“So we reevaluate in November? Before or after the premiere of the minisodes?” He smiled down at me. This felt more like planning for a garden party than a relationship checkpoint. To be fair, I didn’t know many couples with relationship checkpoints.

“After. I can’t deal with all of that at once. You might have to sedate me.” 

“I’ll be ready with the syringe.” I gave him a crooked smile. 

Six months. 

I could do six months, right? Six months weren’t that long. Not having to spend weekends in an empty hotel room by myself would be a nice plus.

“Ok six months. I can do that. I think we should set perimeters.” I took a deep breath. I wanted this. Him, but could I do this? Could we make it six months?

“What kind?”

“Who were going to tell. Not the entire world. I can not deal with that on top of everything. I get you’re close to your family. I love that. It shows you were raised right.”

“What does that say about you?”

“That a golden cage can be as bad as an iron one.” I quickly went on. My upbringing was not something Seth needed to know about right now. “What I mean is, that I get it. How about you tell them I exist, but that I am not ready. Honesty is always good. I also don’t want them to think I am a bitch.” 

That would sour the mood, and as much as people say they’re open minded. Everyone knows that first impressions are king.  

“They won’t think that.”

“You’d be surprised what people think of me.” Despite appearances, I wasn’t the girl you brought home to your parents.

A rueful smile playing around his lips. “Oh I can imagine, but my family will love you.”


“Because…” He stopped and changed course. “You’re an amazing person and you make me happy. Who are you telling? Izzy?”

“I… no I don’t think we are friends anymore.” I hadn’t really thought about that phone call since it happened.

“What happened?” A fresh wave of tears overcame me, and Seth hugged me closer to his chest, and started rubbing my back again. This time in smooth, and from what I could tell perfect circles.

“I fucked it up. I got so focused on the show that I forgot to tell her…. I wasn’t coming back, and I just didn’t think that she would have to pay rent. She is a cop not….”

“The heir to a multi-billion dollar fortune?” I let out a mirthless chuckle. “Give her some time.”
“Ok… I don’t really have anyone else to tell.” I shrugged. “Wait, I should text Em. She is going to get a kick out of this.” I saw a dark shadow cross Seth’s features.

“What don’t I know?”

“Nothing, I have only met her in passing. What about Charlize? Or your parents?” I pulled out my phone, and sent Em a quick text. Guess who is dating? If you put your money on your best friend, then this one time you would be correct. I sent it, adding the picture of Seth and I giggling by the pool. I couldn’t wait for her response.

“Knowing Charlize, she already knows. My mother will bring in the armed forces if she finds out I’m dating. Trust me you don’t want that.” I smiled as I imaged my mother’s reaction. Those were the only times she was really proud of me. Not that she said anything, but you could feel it.

“What’s wrong with the armed forces?” I laughed.

“I mean the actual armed forces. We are a military family. My granddad dropped into Normandy on D-Day. Both my dad and uncle were fighter jet pilots in Vietnam. Even my mother was an army nurse. That’s how she met my dad.” I could see the horror grow in his eyes.

“Since when do people with your…”

“Money? You have to remember that my dad married rich. That part of my family worked most of their lives at production plant in New Jersey.”  

“And your afraid of meeting my family?”

“I knew I could get you to come around my way of thinking.” I looked at the time, and started to get up, but Seth pulled me back down into his lap.

“Hey,” he said quietly, smiling.

“Hey.” I replied just as quietly and grinning.

After a small pause, he kissed me. 

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@newlovewontletyougetaway - if you like to read it.

Sweet Tooth

Lily and James were best friends growing up, but when he moved away and they drifted apart they thought that would be the end of their friendship. But fate has a funny way of working out, and Lily can’t keep herself away from the brownies in the grocery store.

written for @jilyfest + read on AO3

Lily had gone to the grocery store to buy tea. That was it. Really. She had no idea how so much ice cream had gotten into her basket. Perhaps she had picked up someone else’s by mistake.

Who is she kidding? She wants some comfort food and this was what was happening. It was all her stupid sister’s fault. Having her as a bridesmaid in her wedding and making Lily watch what she ate in order to fit into that ugly purple dress. Lily couldn’t pull off purple. Petunia knew it too. The wedding is finally over now and Lily is flat-sitting for the newlyweds. She doesn’t know why she had agreed to it but the deal was made now so she may as well stuff her face full of the chocolate she’s been craving for months.

She rounds the corner of another aisle, thinking that if she finds some brownies she can make a kick ass sundae, when she sees him. It takes her a moment to recognize the bloke who’s standing with two different packages of cookies in his hands, trying to decide between them. He goes for chocolate chip. That was always his favorite.

“James?” she says his name before she can stop herself.

Her childhood best friend whips his head around and gapes at her. The first thing she notices is that he got new glasses. Then she wants to slap herself because of course he did- it’s been twelve years for heaven’s sake.

Keep reading

Isaac Lahey-You have lost me

Requested.A/N: I hope you like it.

Prompt“hello! Would it be okay if you were to write an imagine where isaac cheats on you, but you’re like subtle about it but really you’d be a train wreck? If you know what I mean where she shows isaac that she’s crying but doesn’t yell at him or anything? And the pack sees it and they’re like disappointed in him and they’re so angry bc y/n was their favourite and maybe something happens to the reader? But in the end they don’t end up together “you’ve already lost me isaac” long written imagine maybe?”

Your name: submit What is this?

In love you make mistakes.That’s what everyone says.Nobody is perfect.You didn’t want a perfect boyfriend but you wanted a loyal one.When you met Isaac it seemed that finally the boy of your dreams came into your life.You weren’t lovers from the first moment but after a few months passed you officially started dating.Isaac was the best thing that ever happened to your life.He was sweet, caring and always there for you.It didn’t matter if you called him in the middle of the night because you were lonely, he would came and just spend the night with you cuddling.He called you sweet pet names such as: sweetheart, princess, darling.He planned the most amazing dates.He was romantic and always knew what he should say when you had a bad day or when you were angry without any reason.

You never thought that someone who pretended to love you so much as he did could do something like that.A few days ago you went to Isaac’s house to study together.Something was wrong.His front door was open.As you got inside, you saw a shirt lying on the stairs that lead to his room.You told yourself that he was just messy but deep down in your heart you knew the real answer.When you opened the door of his room and saw him pinning against the wall and kissing another girl.You instantly felt tears leaving your eyes and turned back slamming the door behind you.The loud sound made Isaac stop, realising you saw everything.He tried to run after you but you were already in your car and leaving.

You spent the whole night crying and picturing him with that girl.You couldn’t stop those images that came in your head.You realised that you couldn’t let him see what he had done to you.You will show him that you are a little sad but you won’t yell or accuse him.You will show him what he lost when he decided to kiss that girl.He was member of Scott’s pack so you couldn’t avoid him and you surely won’t stop spending time with your friends just because he’s there too.You won’t give him that power.

The next day, you went at school and met your friends in the class.You greeted them and Isaac tried to explain what happened.

“Y/N,please listen…” Isaac tried to say but you cut him off.

“It’s ok,Isaac.I understand.She’s prettier than me, I bet she’s smarter than me.Don’t worry.I wouldn’t choose me either” you said with sad eyes and went to your place without saying any other word.

“What have you done?” Scott said.

“It’s not your buisness.” Isaac said

“She’s our friend.If you hurt her you hurt us.Now tell us what have you done?” Lydia said angrily.

“She saw me yesterday kissing some other girl.Tha’s it.”Isaac said annoyed by his friends’ questions.

“That’s it?! You cheat on the kindest,smartest and the most selfless girl in this pack and you say that’s it?!” Scott yelled at Isaac.

You couldn’t listen how they fought because of yesterday’s event and you left.You never missed a day at school but right then you really had a reason.On your way home you sensed someone following you.You looked around but you didn’t saw anyone and anything.You continued your way but you were stopped by someone’s hands which grabbed you and threw you into a car.From all the anxiety combined with sadness you fainted.

Luckily, the pack saw you were missing and as soon as you left the school they came after you.They saw your English teacher, Jennifer Blake kidnapping you and it was only a matter of time until they came up with a plan to rescue you.

It looked that she wanted to use you to lure Scott into a trap.He knew that he would never leave a friend behind.She choosed you because she knew that in that moment you were an easy target and it would be easy to realize her plan.But Scott was smarter than her.After a few hours you were in your bed with your friends around you, trying to make you feel better.

“Are you ok?” Stiles asked

“Physically or emotionally?” you asked.

“That’s only your fault.I said you are not good for her but she never believed me….until now.” Stiles said facing Isaac.

“Shut up, Stilinski!” Isaac said.

“I don’t think you have the right to tell anyone to shut up after what you did.” Alisson said.

“Yes, Isaac. We were lucky that we got in time.What if we didn’t.What do you think it would have happened,huh?” Lydia said.

“But you did.Thank you guys.I really appreciate it.I know that this is only my fault.I shouldn’t have left alone.” you said

“Don’t blame yourself.You would have been safe if Isaac didn’t do what he did.”Stiles said.

“I tried to say I’m sorry.” Isaac yelled.

You looked at him and you could see guilt in his eyes.He was really sorry.After a long battle between your heart and your mind, your heart won and you let him try to explain himself.

“Guys…Can you leave me and Isaac alone for a moment.I want to give him the chance to talk.”Everyone left your room, excepting,Isaac.

“Talk” you whispered.

“I’m sorry.I don’t know what was in my mind.I don’t understand how I was able to kiss another girl; to do to her everything I ‘ve done to you.You can’t imagine how sorry I am, Y/N” Isaac said

“I don’t know what to say, Isaac.I really don’t.My heart is broken.I think I need some time to figure the things out.” you said not looking at him.

“Take your time,sweetheart.I will wait for you.” he stood on the bed near you and took your hand in his.

Now you looked at him, straight into his eyes and pulled back your hand.” You don’t understand Isaac. I wasn’t talking about giving you another chance.I was talking about giving love another chance.I thought that what we had was special; that it was true love.It turned out that it wasn’t. I don’t even think about getting back together with you.You’ve already lost me,Isaac.”

Malec Drabble Alphabet - N

N - Never

If there was one thing that Magnus knew, it was that the word ‘never’ was not a real thing. But then how could it be to an immortal like him? Nothing was impossible when you had an eternity. Improbable perhaps, but not impossible. Truly, ‘never’ was much too absolute of a word to describe their strange world.

This philosophy was likely part of the reason that Magnus was as insistent as he was, part of why he hated to give up on things just because they were difficult… there was always a chance that things would go the way he wanted them to. Always. Take Alexander, for example. If Magnus had been anyone else, perhaps he would have left the shadowhunter to his misery; perhaps he would have accepted that the closet was all the other man would ever have. But no, that simply wasn’t his style (even if Ragnor had to remind him of that). So, he went back, time and time again, determined to change the other man’s mind. Now, that’s not to say he made the decision for Alec, quite the opposite actually; in the end, the decision had been Alec’s alone, but it was Magnus’ presence that had been the instigator of that decision.

So, no, Magnus was definitely not a believer in never, even when it came to the small things. And even if it got trying at times. 

“Magnus, I am not letting you dress me for this party. You wear enough color for the both of us,” Alec told him firmly, arms crossed over his chest. 

The warlock pouted slightly. Why must he be so stubborn and ruin my fun? Still, he gave in a little, knowing how much Alec valued his autonomy when it came to things like this. Even Magnus, though pushy, would never take something like that away from someone, especially someone like his Alexander, who struggled so much with self-identity on a daily basis. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t try and help him along, try to convince him to try something new every now and then. Magnus simply wanted to show his boyfriend that there was a whole other world out there for him, away from the Clave and their stifling, archaic ideas of what their people should and should not be.

“Fine. I know how attached you are to your black. But at least let me put on a little eyeliner? Those gorgeous eyes deserve the extra attention,” he finally said, reaching out and stroking his thumbs at the corners of Alec’s eyes.

The shadowhunter huffed, though his expression softened some. “No. It would look ridiculous.” 

Magnus raised an eyebrow at that. “Are you saying I look ridiculous?” 

“N-no! Of course not! You always look good; I-I mean amazing!” The other man rambled, reddening, his insistence in the warlock’s good looks utterly charming. “What I meant was that I would look ridiculous. All of this,” he gestured to Magnus’ rather sparkly ensemble, “wouldn’t suit me, ok?”

It always made Magnus unspeakably sad to hear the shadowhunter degrade himself like that. Curse the people that made him think that way, that made him believe he was less than he was, that told him he couldn’t try the things he wanted to. Even if he didn’t like it in the end, what was wrong with trying? Trying things helped you figure out who you were. “Alexander…”

“Please? Just leave it?” Alec asked quietly, looking away.

Magnus sighed softly, but nodded. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling the younger man down slightly, standing up on his tippy toes (gods that must be a sight) and planting a kiss on his forehead. The shadowhunter’s tense form relaxed against him. 

Magnus would give in… for now. But there was no stopping him when he was on a mission. (Mission? He was probably spending too much time around shadowhunters. Yet oddly he couldn’t find a single ounce of regret for that.)

The perfect opportunity came a few weeks later when Isabelle appeared at his loft with a mission (there was that blasted word again) for her and Alec, and by extension Magnus as well. He was hardly going to let his date night be ruined by some demon; no he was going with them both. He didn’t spend enough time with Alexander as is.

It was just his luck then that this particular demon seemed to like crashing parties, specifically Downworld parties. There was a certain look expected at these. Magnus would take shameless advantage of this.

“Magnus, for the last time, it’s never going to happen,” Alec insisted.

The warlock smiled cheekily. “Oh darling, in the wise words of Justin Bieber ‘never say never’.”

“Well, I am saying it. I’ll just wear my gear. And I don’t even know who this Justin Beaver guy is.” 

“Alec, really?” Izzy inserted, looking at her brother with ill-disguised disappointment. 

Magnus couldn’t help but agree with her; his boyfriend was disastrously oblivious to the wonders of pop culture. Luckily there was one Lightwood sibling who knew about current events. But, unfortunately, now was not the time to get the eldest of the family caught up. “I’m just going to overlook that lack of knowledge this time. But honestly, Alexander, it’s like you’ve never been to a Downworlder rave.”

“But I have and I do just fine!”

“Alec, you always stick out like a sore thumb,” Izzy said, not unkindly, just a simple statement of fact.

“Your dear sister is right,” Magnus immediately said, before he could try and disagree. And, really she was. Alec, gorgeous and eye-catching though he was, tended to be too… not plain exactly (he was certainly not that), but too unadorned for the types that went to these parties. “Plus, this time is different. Someone needs to entice the demon away from the crowd and it seems Isabelle is not its type. Sadly, my face is too known for something like this.”

Alec glared at them both, looking for any signs of deception. Finding none, he groaned, collapsing in the sofa and dropping his face in his hands. “I wish Jace was here. I hate being the distraction.”

“I know, love.” He patted the other man’s shoulder, stroking the bare skin of his neck soothingly. “But you won’t need to distract for too long if you let me do what I’m planning. Not that you don’t look absolutely dashing as is, but demons prefer a little more… pizzazz.”

“You both are going to keep going until I say yes, aren’t you?” He peaked up at them through his fingers, the sight more adorable than what he was probably going for. Either way, Magnus wasn’t complaining.

Izzy came to stand at his side, linking her arm through Magnus’ in a show of support. The warlock smiled at her fondly, as always liking her penchant for dramatic flare.

“That would be a yes, big brother,” she announced cheerfully.

Alec groaned again but finally, finally nodded. “Alright, fine. But I draw the line at glitter.” 

At last! Victory. Magnus tried not too smile too smugly. He was quite ecstatic about this, for more than one reason. Firstly, there was a certain sense of personal satisfaction that came whenever he got Alexander to agree to anything, considering how stubborn the shadowhunter could be. Secondly, it always made him happy to see him try new things, to break the mold he’d been forced into. And thirdly, perhaps most obvious, was that he knew that Alec would look absolutely stunning in what he had in mind for him.

Still, he managed to control his reaction somewhat, his response a clever quip instead of a victory yell or something equally undignified. “Yes, yes we all know what happened the last time you tried glitter,” he told the younger man teasingly, leaning in so that the words were just between the two of them. 

Magnus! You weren’t supposed to mention that again,” Alec exclaimed, pulling his face from his hands and sending him a look of utter betrayal. He glanced apprehensively at his sister, who, fortunately for him, hadn’t heard.

“You’re just lucky I didn’t pull out the pictures,” Magnus winked, before straightening again (physically straightening that is, not any other way). “Now, my dear Izzy, how about we get started?”

Something in their faces must have scared Alec because he let out another annoyed groan. Still, they got their way and did what needed to be done. Magnus had Izzy work on the hair whilst he did the eyeliner he’d been dying to do. They picked out an outfit together, though Magnus was the one to have to convince Alec to actually get into the clothes (normally he would be convincing him out of them, but that was for another time). Alexander had done as asked, but not until slyly commenting about how convenient it was that, for some reason, Magnus seemed to have a whole wardrobe of clothes in Alec’s size. The warlock had only winked in reply, unapologetic. 

And then, finally

“There! We’re done!” Izzy exclaimed, her eyes bright. She stared at her brother proudly. Alec remained suspiciously silent as he gawked at himself in the mirror. 

For all their teasing, they had actually forgone the glitter, much to the shadowhunter’s relief. Instead, his make up only consisted of dark lines of eyeliner (or guyliner as Izzy put it) and something shiny on his cheeks that Alec couldn’t name but made his cheekbones pop even more. His hair was as messy as usual but had some gel in it to keep it ‘artfully’ messy. The clothes he’d been forced into consisted of a pair of ridiculously tight skinny jeans and an equally tight shirt that looked like a tank top with long mesh sleeves attached. Still, it was all black and they’d allowed him to wear his normal combat boots. 

All in all, it wasn’t actually all that different from normal. Alec still looked like Alec, just more enhanced. And even he had to admit the ‘guyliner’ did make his eyes look more mysterious, or something like that. But surprisingly not all that ridiculous.

“What do you think?” Magnus asked softly.

“I don’t… hate it,” he replied, somewhat begrudgingly. 

Still, the warlock took that as the greatest compliment, knowing how hard it was for Alexander to say things like that. “I should think so. This is some of my best work.”

Isabelle slipped herself under her brother’s arm, joining him in front of the mirror. “Alec, trust me, you look great. Our demon won’t even see you coming.”

“You really think so?” he asked, almost an afterthought. 

“I know so,” Izzy replied, not a hint of joking in her voice. “But I need to go get ready myself. Magnus, try not mess him up too much, I don’t want our work to go to waste,” she said, already making for the door to the bathroom, the bag with her outfit in it ready in hand.

“No promises!” the warlock shouted back, before turning to his boyfriend. Much like she just had, he leaned against him, laying one hand on Alec’s strong shoulder, his chin then resting atop his knuckles. “She is right, you know. You look absolutely ravishing, Alexander.”

The other man blushed delightfully, but managed a quip in response. “I thought you said I looked good without all this?” he asked, in the same tone Magnus had used when he’d jokingly accused Alec of thinking Magnus’ signature look was ridiculous.

“Touché, darling.” The warlock used his free hand to lightly run his fingers down the other man’s bicep, admiring the muscles visible under the mesh. Alec shivered a little, meeting Magnus’ eyes in the mirror, pupils slightly dilated. “Still, don’t immediately ruin my work after we’re done with that demon. I have plans for you.”

Alec swallowed thickly. “Far be it for me to ruin your plans, Magnus.”

The mission ended up going well. Turns out Alexander could make a marvelous distraction, for both demons as well as Magnus himself.

All alphabet drabbles are tagged under malecalphabet

Special side note: this was written with the help/suggestions of @lemonoclefox, @fairylightsau, @the-element-siren and some lovely anons (messages can be found under the alphabet tag). Thank you all!

Heal Me - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 


I took a brief glance at my watch and let out a short sigh. I had only managed to survive half of the day. Though it felt like I had been working for 24 hours straight. Truthfully I wasn’t in a good condition today. I had been awake all night long, trying to get my silly life under control. I barely even slept. In addition to that my head was throbbing as if it would explode soon.

The next few hours were just pure torture. However, I tried my best to hide it. I wore a friendly smile on my face and greeted every customer politely. Although I have to admit I did have to fight the urge to tell them to get lost and leave me alone, especially the ones with special requests.

“Harin, you don’t look good,” Jun Ki noticed, giving me a worried look. “You should go home and take a rest.”

“No, I’m fine Jun,” I assured him with a weak smile. “Besides, there are only three hours left.”

To be honest I didn’t know why I chose to stay. I felt horrible. But something made me stay. Was it that I didn’t want to break the promise I had made a long time ago? Or was it something else that kept me here?

“Don’t overwork yourself,” he then said with a sigh of defeat. He knew there was no use in fighting with me. I was stubborn as hell and he wasn’t in the position to tell me what to do or what not to do. After all he was the one who brought me into this fucked up situation. I knew he felt genuinely sorry and he would turn back time if he could. Nonetheless it was hard for me to just forgive and forget. He broke my trust and went behind my back. Even though he meant well, he betrayed me.


Holding his coupon up high, Jay grinned at me, flashing his perfect white teeth. I rolled my eyes and let out a chuckle, inviting him in. What was this weird, warm feeling in my stomach? Was I actually happy to see him? I shook my head violently to get rid of those thoughts. Bullshit. I didn’t even know who he was.

After he had taken off his black jacket he sat down on the chair, making himself comfortable. He looked really good today. He wore a simple white sweater along with a pair of black jeans. On his feet were brown timberlands and an expensive rolex graced his left wrist.

Oh shit. Was I just staring him up and down?

He must have followed my gaze, as he smirked at me. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he told me wittily and I blushed at his remark, caught in the act.

“Would you like anything to drink?” I asked him after a fake cough, smoothly changing the subject while trying to calm myself down. Why was I so nervous around him?

“Just water, thanks.”

“And what would you like to eat?”

“Uhm…” His eyes scanned the menu, but it didn’t seem as if he was paying much attention, since he just randomly pointed at something. I chuckled at his actions while rolling my eyes. “You could try a little harder. At least act like you care.”

“I do care. About you to be specific. That’s why I’m here.”

I was caught off guard by his remark therefore I was at loss for words. I just stared at him silently, not knowing what to respond.
Jay, on the other hand, seemed to be satisfied with himself for getting me flustered, as a little smile crept onto his lips.

“Anything else?” I asked as I regained my composure. He shook his head in response.


Since there weren’t a lot of customers, I walked over to his table and sat down opposite of him. He looked up from his plate as he heard the creaking sound of the chair.

“After this we’re even, right?” I asked, causing him to lift his brows.

“What do you mean?”

“You brought me my phone and I invited you to a meal. After this we’re done. No more debts or responsibilities or whatsoever.”

“You wanna get rid of me that badly?” He let out a laugh, but I could see it in his eyes that he was slightly hurt by my comment.

“Seeing you reminds me of a night I don’t want to remember. I was pretty fucked up that night, didn’t you notice?” I shook my head, recalling the few events that I did remember from that night, which was just me going to the club, downing shots after shots. Truthfully, I was disappointed and ashamed of myself for letting it come that far.

He nodded his head understandingly. But then to my surprise his expression changed. He wore a frown on his face and his eyes were filled with guilt and concern.
“Is it my fault?”

I looked at him bewildered, not expecting this question. Was he really blaming himself? Did he really think he had done something wrong?
If anything he was the one who saved me from doing even more stupid things. He had no reason to feel bad or guilty.

“No it’s mine. I swore off drugs and alcohol, yet I broke my own rules. And I happened to bump into you that night. I mean I’m happy that it was you. You seem like a decent guy. At least I didn’t hook up with a douchebag or something like that. But still…I think I would prefer…not to see you again….”

“Ok,” he nodded his head in agreement and I looked at him with wide eyes. To be honest I didn’t expect him to give up so quickly…Was I disappointed?

“If you don’t want to see me that’s fine. I’m not gonna force my way into your life,” he told me and released a smile. There was no trace of anger or resentment in his voice. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Well, quite the opposite. I actually did feel very comfortable around him. I felt safe.

“Thank you,” I smiled at him. It was a genuine smile, not one of those fake ones I had learned over the course of time.

Honestly, I kind of liked his attitude and way of approaching things. I know I shouldn’t judge people too early, but he really did seem like a good person. He respected my decision and never once did he cross the line to get what he wanted. I enjoyed his presence, more than I would ever admit to myself.

Maybe, he was the reason why I stayed at work today. Maybe, because I wanted to see him again. Maybe, I was secretly looking forward to his visit. Just maybe.

“You should smile more often. It suits you,” he said, making me blush. I quickly looked away so he wouldn’t see my crimson red cheeks.

“What’s your name, by the way? I don’t think you ever told me,” I asked, as curiosity finally got me. Yes I was curious about him. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know what kind of person he was. I wanted to know who he was.

“Park Jaebeom…or just call me Jay,” he said with a smile while he pulled out his wallet and grabbed a banknote. The name sounded very familiar. But I couldn’t sort in where I have heard before.

I stared at the money confused, before turning my eyes back to him.

“You don’t owe me anything. I was only kidding. I didn’t expect anything from you in return. It was my pleasure. Because I really wanted to see you again.” He released a reassuring smile and dropped the banknote on the table, since I didn’t take it. I was frozen and I didn’t know how to react to this. He never failed to surprise me with his sweet words. He always put me in a flustered state. He always left me speechless.

I just quietly observed him, as he put his jacket back on and stood up. With one last glance at me, he turned around, leaving the restaurant.

they guys, i usually don’t do these types of posts…….



ok yeah i do lol

but this text with the picture really hit home at me, like REALLY hit my core.

like you guys really don’t understand that there are some people out there that will actually cry when they are showed kindness and friendship. and i can honestly be a perfect example of what is said in the text in the above picture. 

ok so this is a little story about my last furmeet and why now i truly encourage people to go to furmeets. 

December 6th 2014, was at a furmeet with maybe 10 people, not a lot yeah i know, but for some reason after hours of being there, just out of no where i started to feel the signs of an anxiety attack, i go outside to get some fresh air, ironic cause i was smoking the entire time, but i was outside for 15 minutes in the rain, i come inside have quite a bit of vodka then go back outside, this time for around 30-40 minutes. now im narrowly avoiding this anxiety attack and because i don’t have a real cell phone i couldn’t contact my boyfriend to help calm me down, and i was worried about him as well because he and i hadn’t talked yet that day. so nearly in tears because of the anxiety attack and trying to calm down i go inside and immediately a few people looked over and asked if anything was up because i was outside for so long, i go on and say nothing is wrong and go lay down on my friends, the furmeet event host’s, bed with my hood over my eyes controlling my breath and every time i looked up i saw people worriedly looking over to me and two of my friends kept asking if everything was ok. THOSE actions those simple little fucking actions put me in tears, i hid it cause i had gotten good at that, but it had me in bloody tears because through out my life kindness has been so rare that abuse appears to become kindness. \

seriously guys, this is coming from me and i am saying it for all those people who deal with the same shit like i do, please be kind to every animal you meet, humans included. simple words can make a huge change to peoples lives, you have no idea how much kindness means to me and how much it makes me want to cry because it is such an unfamiliar feeling in my life that i think the person is being overly nice or something along those lines. 

seriously guys, this isn’t one of those Too long didn’t read posts, it has a point and to me, it’s very personal and powerful one.

be kind, be respectful, be peaceful, leave your hate behind and treat all with kindness, whether they deserve it or not.

seriously certain people have showed me such kindness in my life and i can never repay them for what they have done for me,

thekao, the-nerdy-reindeer, team-reverie, middroo, colbyart, these are just a few people recently who have showed me such amazing kindness and deserve and have earned so much more than me as a friend or someone to talk to, and in kao’s case a partner, but they are amazing people who have helped me and gave me smiles in some of my darkest moments


Dear @taylorswift ,

In 2006 was the first time I had ever heard of Taylor Alison Swift. We were listening to the radio, and I knew from that moment on that you were gonna have a special place in my life. From that moment on, I loved you. I got your first CD and played it day and night. Danced like it was going out of style, sang like you were right there with me. I named my barbies after you, acted like they were Taylor Swift going to her next concert of the night.

In 2007, I was almost asleep. I got this feeling in my head and chest, like I was going to be sick. I told my mom that I had to go to the bathroom, that my stomach was hurting and I didn’t feel good. I got nauseous and felt like I was going to throw up. I told my mom, and when I told her, I started seeing spots everywhere. I got lightheaded like there something riding starting through my throat to my head carrying bricks. My head started pounding like there was thousands of things smashing into each other, feeling like they was bricks. Then I saw one big flash. That’s the last thing I remember. I woke up, like I had been asleep. My mom was crying and my dad was freaking out. We went to the emergency room to find out what had happened. I was so confused, scared, nervous, and sick. I had no idea what was going on. My parents didn’t want me to worry. I will never forget how scared my mom acted. It was almost like I had done something scary, she said later on. When we got to the hospital, later on they told us that based on what my mom said had happened, I had had a seizure. At the time, I didn’t know what that was. I had heard of them on movies, TV, etc. I thought they were when people foamed at the mouth, shook all over, etc. I found out that they are different. However, they weren’t any cup of tea. Luckily, mine only lasted 10-15 seconds. They sent me to a neurologist to find out more about what had happened, and to see even if I had has a seizure. I will never forget the first day I ever went to the neurologist. I didn’t want to go, I hated the doctors anyway, I wasn’t wanting anyone to touch my head. We had to stay all night in a hotel because we lived quite a way from the hospital. My mom told me the doctor wants me to stay up as late we could, that it has to do with what they try tomorrow. I was so confused. Later to find out, they were going to make me have a seizure. I was so tired. My mom took my side and we went to sleep. She was so nervous and stressed, I felt so sorry and scared. When we got there, they had told my mom and dad before hand that they needed to do some tests. They put these gooey, sticky, wet dough stuff in my hair and head, which I later found out was called an EEG. The doctor was in a separate closed in room through glass watching my brain on a computer screen. They told me they wanted me to do some stuff. They got a mini windmill and made me blow on it as long as I could. I blew on it once and stopped. They told me I can’t take any breaks, to do it longer. My mom got really mad at them, saying I can’t do that, and asked them what are they trying to make me do? They literally forced me. I almost passed out from the torture they put me through. From holding my breath for minuets on minuets, breathing as fast as I could, then my parents said to stop. That they were not going to let them torture me. They later done a CAT scan on me to see if there was anything wrong in my body. They didn’t find anything from that.
Later on, it was time for the actual appointment. My mom and grandma took me. We had to tell the neurologist what all had happened, how it started, how I felt, etc. He told us that it was a seizure. My mom started crying, and I got so worried. I thought I was dying! I was so confused. He put me on some medicine that is suppose to make it hopefully not make it happen again. I will never forget how confused and scared I was. How nasty and dull tasting the pill was. My mom said I am going to be okay, and tried to explain it. I was so scared. But you know what I did? We listened to your songs. My mom knows how happy your songs make me, and her. You took our mind off of that for a while.

When I was in second grade, I had a seizure at school. I got made fun of my a girl, because of having one. She said “you sat/fell weird! Do you always pose when you puke?” But the thing was, I fell. I don’t remember how I even got there. It lasted until then. But you taught me to be myself. You taught me to not listen to bullies. You have taught me so much. You have helped me so much.

On April 29th, 2010, I saw you in Lexington, KY on the Fearless tour with my cousin, my mom, and her mom. I will never forget how happy I was to actually see my role model, and even though you didn’t know I exist, my bestfriend. I will never forget as long as I live the look on your face, even my mom was smiling, of how happy you were. You looked around at the arena, all the swifties that were there for you!! It was one of the best nights of my entire life. When it was over, my cousin wasn’t even talking about the concert. I was going on and ON about it, how great it was, but she told me to be quite, it was just a concert. I didn’t understand, I was so confused on why someone wasn’t freaking out. We JUST SAW TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT! How could you not be freaking? I now realize it’s because of how much you impacted me.

On October 29th, 2011, you came back to Lexington, KY. Back to my little town. My mom got me tickets to see you on your Speak Now tour. I was so excited, I got to see you once AGAIN! I remember when you got on the platform and came right under my section. Little 9 year old me was so mad because I didn’t get to see you and maybe meet you. I thought to myself, “I will never get to do anything like that. Nothing like that ever happens to me.“ But then my mom reminded me that I am here. I was in the room with my role model. I was having a party with Taylor Swift. And I remembered you told me to always be happy. It felt like I actually knew you, like you knew me. Long story short, it was the best.

On April 27th, 2013, you have came BACK to Lexington, KY again!!! Me, my mom, and my friend and her mom went to the RED TOUR!!! Which was literal PERFECTION! Me and my friend had different seats, though. I was in really upper arena, and my friend had almost front row seats. She texted me and that said no one was sitting in the seats beside her yet, to come on down! Let’s just say I lost my sh*t ok. I got to see Ed Sheeran RIGHT UP CLOSE! It was almost time for you to come out, and I COULD NOT CONTAIN MYSELF! I had NEVER been that close to you!!! I was so so excited. I was screaming, and my friend thought I was a lunatic (reminding me again how much you mean to me). Next thing I know, the people that’s seats we were in showed up. I was crying and so devastated. I thought I may have a chance of thanking you for everything you’ve done for me. But when you told us that it may seem like you can’t see people in upper arena, but you can, I instantly felt better. I thought you may have actually saw me.

In 2014, I fell down my porch steps and broke my ankle. I couldn’t walk like myself for 6 weeks. It caused me to get depressed (not suicidal) and have some anxiety. That wasn’t me. I started having mini panic/anxiety attacks. I would cry myself to sleep and just be so stressed, and my mind was making me think my life was bad. Every little thing made me scream. I wasn’t Hannah. I felt like no one cared about me. I felt like no one understood what was happening, what I was going through. But you did. When I listen to your music I feel like you know exactly what’s happening. I feel like you are helping me, even if it isn’t physically.

Last Tuesday, I saw you in Lexington again, with my bestfriend Shania, my mom, and her mom. I was so ready. I had been waiting since June. I had made 2 posters that said “The MUSIC filled my lungs I scream so loud but you don’t hear a thing!” Like from Clean? Because I’m screaming for you to notice me? Hahaha! And the other one said, “I would be enchanted to meet you!” I had even made a face mask of your precious kitty Meredith. I was so pumped. Guess what I done? I forgot them in the freaking car. I FORGOT THEM IN THE CAR TAYLOR. THE POSTERS AND MASK THAT I WORKED FOREVER ON. GONE DOWN THE DRAIN. It was too late to turn around, we were halfway to our seats. I was closer than I’ve ever been to you before. I was in section 24, row V. When you came on the stage that was towards the very end, of the back of the arena (my section), I had planned to go to the railing and try to let you see me. I wanted you to see me so I could get a picture of you smiling in the background. So if I couldn’t meet you through loft 89 (because nothing like that ever happens to me), I would make sure you saw me. Well that never happened. There was a security guard watching every move everybody made. And me, the scaredy, worrier cat couldn’t do it. My mom didn’t want me to do it. So I didn’t get to. I was so sad, I felt like crying. But I didn’t. Because I was there. I was in the same room as Taylor Alison Swift. For the not 1st, but 4th time. That was a privilege. Most people have never even been to a concert. Let alone 4 of you! So I shook it off! I ended up getting a picture with you in the background, it’s on my blog. And you also WAVED AT MY SECTION! Let’s just say, you put on the absolute best concerts. Every concert is like a Broadway play. Just flawless.

You have been with me through the good times and bad. You’ve helped me through every bad event in my life. Your music takes my mind off my seizures. I continue to have them once a year almost. I hadn’t had one in 2 years until last year, when I had 3 in one night. I try to see the best out of it. People do not realize that seizures are a real disorder. They change people’s lives. Every single time I have a seizure, I either throw up or feel like I am. So every time I feel like I am going to be sick, I think I’m going to have a seizure. People at school don’t think anything of it. They don’t care, they don’t take time to listen to what I feel. Every time I worry, or get excited over something, I get to so nervous I feel sick. Seizure sick. But no one cares. They care, but they act like its nothing. And it’s starting to get worse. But when I know you care, and you help me. I can never truly get excited because every time I’ve had a seizure, I’ve ALWAYS been excited/nervous. Seizures do that to people. At the 1989,concert, I was trying to hold in my excitement. I can never show how I truly feel, because the fear of seizures. Please tell me you understand me. Your music hits me in places I didn’t even know were there. I could never thank you enough for all you have done. No doctor, no person, could ever help me as much as you have, and still are. People bully me at school. They throw stuff at me, laugh at me, say I am weird and need to be in a crazy house, push me, knock me down, etc. JUST for being myself. You teach me that it’s okay to be yourself though. “Clean”  really hits me. The line “I scream so loud but no one heard a thing”, gets to me in so many places. Whenever tell someone something they don’t understand ANYTHING. My mom sometimes does, but at times she doesn’t. I have always dreamed to be an actress. At times, I just feel like giving up because of how impossible it seems, and how I probably could never do it because of my seizures. But then I remember you didn’t give up! You fought for what you really wanted, and look where you are!! I need to know you have saw my story. I’m not one of those people who spams you for a follow, that’s not what I’m doing. Although I would absolutely POOP if you followed me. But what I am doing, is to please, read this. You don’t even know— wait yes you do, because you’re so smart! On my main blog, @actressie was my account for you, but I’ve just recently made a separate blog @enchantlyswift. I am praying that by the time you come back to Lexington, I will be popular on my blog and you may know me and I may get to actually see my role model up close in person (meet you and tell you in person how much you’ve helped me). With seizures, anxiety, bullying, and daily life, you are there for me. And I can’t thank you enough. I love you beyond words could describe (no homo lol)!!!

Hannah ❤️

 @taylorswift @tree-paine

27/07/14 Fanmeeting in Berlin - Fanaccount by jungcookramen

So I wanted to write about my experience at the fanmeeting in Berlin but I’ve decided not to write about the concert itself since many people have already done that but rather about the experience in general and my high5 experience!

First of all I wanted to say that nonkpop did really well in organising everything, there was really nothing to complain about!
Soooo I was lucky enough to meet up with bangtanbyul and her sister! CAN I JUST SAY THAT SHE’S EVEN PRETTIER AND CUTER IN REAL LIFE!! (YES IT’S POSSIBLE!!) We got in line for our number 4.30 in the morning and I got number 51 so I was really happy! We basically just waited all day, we even got a glimpse of Bangtan when they arrived to the venue and they waved at all the fans! While waiting we got to meet other tumblr blogs like jimiin and vrotic! It was really nice meeting you even though I was a bit shy (≧◡≦)

So when we were finally let in to the venue I had to get my present to Jin in his gift box before I could run into the venue and get a spot. I ended up being in the 3rd line from the stage, a bit to the right. The people around us were REALLY HILARIOUS AND COOL and most people were kind enough to let smaller people in front of them so they could see! It was really hot in there and I’ve never been so sweaty in my life HAHAHAH but we endured it!
I’m not really gonna talk about the performances but let me just say IT WAS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, their dancing is even more powerful in real life, they were really funny and ofc THEY WERE FUCKING HOT I ALMOST DIED OK. Tbh Jin, Jungkook and Yoongi stood out to me the most, don’t judge me!

So after they performed their last song (boy in luv) we were to wait about 30 min. for the high5 event. I felt so ugly because I was sweating so much and my hair and make-up was probably a mess! Anyway they put us in line for the high5 and I started to get real nervous because I was still not mentally prepared! Bangtan finally came out and fans started clapping at them.  So it finally started, there was a table between Bangtan and the fans. The first few people to get to them got handshakes, I have no idea why! We were like wtf why are they not high5ing! lol, but then later they did high5 instead.

My turn finally came, I started to get closer and closer to Taehyung who was the first one and my heart started beating like crazy! He’s not as small as I thought he would be, he was taller than me and he was quite tan and his face was just beautiful! He was really cheerful and smiled a lot! So we high5ed and he said hi to me in a really cute way and I said hi. At this point I was totally in shock because I couldn’t believe it was really happening. I kinda panicked in what to say so I said that I came from Denmark to see them and he said “wow” and smiled at me!
Next was Yoongi BLESS HIM, HE IS SO HANDSOME! He’s not as pale as shown in pictures at all. His new hair was really cute! We high5ed and said hi. I was really overwhelmed by his face somehow, so I just blurred out that he was really handsome and he smiled kinda shy, so I high5ed him again, hahah.

So next were Jin and I NEARLY DIED LIKE OMFG! I swear pictures don’t do him justice! I really get now why he is the visual in Bangtan! His new hair looked so good on him, he was tall and I’m in love with his broad shoulders omfg. So our eyes met, he smiled and we said hi and high5ed. For a moment I was simply speechless, I really didn’t expect him to be this gorgeous! Then I told him that we have the same birthdays and he was like “oh really? 4th of December?” and I was like “YAAAAS 92!” And he was like “wow nice” and smiled so cutely, it was the best!! And then we said bye. Tbh Jin was probably my fave moment in the high5 event.

Seeing Jungkook next made me really nervous I CANT WITH HIS NEW HAIR IT’S SO PERFECT! He’s reallyyyyyyyyy handsome and also not as small as I would have thought! We high5ed and said hi, again I didn’t know what to say so I just told him that I came from Denmark to see them and he was like “Denmark, wow!” and smiled cutely, my noona heart couldn’t handle it omfg.

Rap mon was next and as expected he was really good looking and tall! He really had this cool and chill atmosphere about him and you could totally tell he was the leader if you hadn’t known. So we said hi and high5ed and I said “thank you so much for coming” and he said “thank you so much” back to me and smiled.

I moved on to Jimin and HE’S SO CUTE AND SMALL! He’s actually smaller than I expected and his hands are so cute! So I kinda exaggerated my hi while high5ing AND HE FREAKING IMITATED MY EXAGGERATED HI LIKE OMFG JIMIN! Again I said that I came from Denmark and he was like “wow Denmark” and I asked him if he knew Denmark and he said “yes yes”, haha.

Last one was Hoseok! As expected he was sooooo happy and smiley, he’s really like you would imagine him! We said hi and high5ed and he squished my hands and shook them, I nearly died HE WAS SO CUTE! He said, “thank you so much” and I said thank you back.

All of their hands were really warm and nice; it was just the best feeling!
And then suddenly it was all over; I couldn’t believe what just happened! It was really the best day ever; I’ll always remember it! 

anonymous asked:

I'm sure you've probably already been asked but a prompt idea for Rory: the school sports day.

Sorry this took me so long! And I kind of mixed two prompts together for this one hope that’s ok.

Other Chapters

‘Rory dinner is ready can you clear away your books so we can eat?’ Holly calls to Rory as he finishes his homework at the table.

Rory and Gail work in silence setting the table and help Holly carry the plates from the kitchen, but as soon as they hit their chairs Rory looks up with a mischievous look on his face. ‘So…’

‘Yes Rory?’ Holly asks.

‘It’s sports day in two weeks’

‘Yeah I saw that, the school sent us a letter about it, what events are you going to do?’

‘Well I want to do the egg and spoon and maybe one other but also will you guys please please do the parents race? Gail you’re super fast at running’

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anonymous asked:

sastiel + cuddles, sam being upset about what demon!dean said to him about sucking the life out of his life and all that, and cas comforting him and telling him nice things to make him feel better

Sastiel + Hurt,Comfort cuddles

A/N: I saw the word upset and it translated into horrible, horrible angst.

When Sam comes back from the bar, he’s a wreck. He knows he’s a wreck. He doesn’t look Castiel in the eye. He shoves the angel away, brushes off his attempts to touch and talk and anything that could be considered mildly supportive. Sam doesn’t want to hear it.

Keep reading