Alec’s hands are griping Magnus’ shirt backing him up towards the bedroom, leaning down to kiss him passionately as they go, lips crashing together as he’s pulled against the hard lines of shadowhunter body.
Magnus is loving this turn of events just days after their first date but can’t help wonder why Alec suddenly seems so forward when something dawns on him. Quickly he breaks the kiss, gasping for breath with a hand on Alec’s chest to try and keep some space between them.
“Alexander…wait a moment please.” Magnus smiles at Alec and takes a small step away, hoping to slow things down a little.
“You do know just because I told you about the 17,000 doesn’t mean I expect to add you to that list right away. I think you and I could have something really special here and that means that I want to treasure every moment with you.
We don’t have to rush this, you only get one first time and you need to be sure you’re ready. And then, when you’re sure we’ll make it special, meaningful. Most of the others I don’t even remember their names, they were just a way to pass the time on lonely nights. A quick bit of fun, you already mean way more than that to me already, you know that right?”
Alec blushes and looks away, unable to hold Magnus’ gaze.
“I…I…I just want to make you happy. I don’t want you to find someone else Magnus, someone who knows how to do this, who can give you a proper relationship with everything that involves. How can I compare to all those other experiences you’ve had when I’ve literally done nothing! ”
Magnus slides his hand from Alec’s chest up to the front of his shoulder and rubs small comforting circles with his thumb until the shadowhunter looks at him again.
“Alexander, you don’t have to compete. You have my full attention and there is no one I want to spend time with more than you. I love just talking to you, I’d love to snuggle with you while we chat, kiss you some more but only if you want it too. It’s ok if we take this slow, just try not to overthink everything. You’re not the only one that feels vulnerable. ”
Alec searches Magnus face trying to figure out why the beautiful, confident man in front of him could possibly feel vulnerable.
“What are you worried about Magnus, you’ve lived forever, had so many experiences. You must know how handsome and wonderful you are, how attractive others find you.” Alec says, no heat behind his words just feeling confused still.
“Well, I try…” Magnus chuckles gesturing at himself, drawing attention to his make up and jewellery before looking a little more serious when he continues. “But there’s things about me you don’t know yet. I’m hoping you’ll get to know them eventually but let’s just say not everyone over the years has been as tolerant of warlocks as you are. Not all experiences are good ones.”
“You know that how I feel has nothing to do with you being a warlock or not. It’s you as a person that I like.” Alec reassures.
Magnus smiles up at Alec before taking a deep breath, his face now reflecting his inner insecurities and doubts, deciding if he really wants to continue with what he’s about to do.
“What’s is it Magnus? ” Alec asks as he notices not only the expression change but also the way Magnus whole body seems to have stiffened slightly.
“I want to show you something Alexander, I think it’ll help. You’ve told me about your insecurities and fears tonight so it’s only right I share a big one of my own. ” he tries to smile at the taller man but it feels week even to himself.
“Only if you’re sure…” Alec repeats back Magnus’ earlier sentiment.
“I’m sure…its just…I’ve lost people who I was interested in before over this, I don’t want to lose you but I don’t want to hide from you. I trust you and it’s important to me that you know exactly what you’re getting into before you decide if you want us to go further.”
“Er…okay?” Alec says as he watches Magnus closes his eyes, take a deep breath and seems to steady himself for a moment. He takes both of Magnus’ hands in his, interlacing his own fingers with the other mans ringed fingers trying to reassure the man in front of him.
Slowly Magnus’ eyes flutter open and Alec’s breath catches at what he sees. Gone are the deep brown eyes that he’s used to seeing Magnus with, the expressive eyes that always give away what the warlock is feeling and now in their place are honey gold orbs with narrow almond shaped pupils. They seem to sparkle in the light and Alec can’t help but stare.
Magnus looks away blinking as he puts the glamour back up, sadness reflected on his face as he tries to turn away and Alec immediately realises he’s not said anything yet and had just been examining the warlock marks, his gaze intense and emotionless as he tried to take in every detail. He quickly lifts his hand to cup Magnus’ face in his palm and guides it back towards him.
“You’re beautiful” he whispers, his voice breathy and low “seriously Magnus, I got a little lost looking at them and I’m sorry if that made you doubt my reaction but your eyes are just mesmerising.” Alec leans in to gently place a kiss on Magnus’ lips before pulling back to smile at him.
Magnus lets out the breath he hadn’t even realised he was still holding and smiles up at his boyfriend, his heart squeezes in his chest and he’s pretty sure it’s the last fragments of the walls he’d built crumbling and falling away.
They stand like that for a few moments, neither one saying anything just looking at each other and smiling. Alec is the first to break the comfortable silence.
“Don’t feel like you ever have to hide from me Magnus, I love your real eyes and I’m honoured you felt ready to show me them. Now can we get back to where this night was originally going. I might have started with all the wrong reasons but I’m sure now. I trust you Magnus and I want to spend the night with you.”
“Alexander, you never cease to amaze me!” Magnus whispers as he reveals his cat eyes again and this time it’s him who reaches up to wrap his hand around the back of Alec’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him deeply as they slowly start walking their way to the bedroom again.
Magnus stirs early the next morning, the rising sun shining in his eyes where he forgot to close the curtains last night. What catches his eye though is the perfect form laying next to him, the sheet covering Alec’s lower body but his torso is bathed in sunlight and Magnus reaches out to trace the runes across the muscled sholders and back.
Alec yawns and groans as he slowly wakes up, rolling over to smile at the warlock as long fingers slide from his back, across his ribs to land on his chest as he moves.
“Morning sweetheart” Magnus whispers as he places a chaste kiss on Alec’s cheek.
“Hi,” Alec breathes “so last night really happened.” A blush spreading on his cheeks.
“You don’t regret it do you?”
“Of course not Magnus, it was wonderful, you were amazing. I just wish I could have made it as good for you as it was for me” Alec ducks his head, avoiding Magnus’ gaze.
“Darling, you have no idea how good it was for me too. Being your first was an honour but it was my first time too. The first time I got to be with you, a memory I will always treasure. It’s something I hope to repeat often though.” Magnus chuckles and gives Alec a fond look.
Alec just smiles and snuggles close and rests his head on Magnus’ chest.
“I think I like that idea…very much!”
“You know Alexander, I think I had to kiss a lot of toads first but I finally found my prince in you.”
Alec just rolls his eyes at the cheesy comment but suddenly every last doubt he ever had about not being able to compare to everyone in Magnus’ past has gone. They might have got to have a small taste of this magical man but Alec is the one who gets to keep him.
had noticed. I noticed how he hoped to find that piece of paper in his
compliment bag hanging on the wall next to the rest. Hoping to find that
someone had written something that made him feel a little better, he didn’t
lose hope that someday that bag would have something inside, he didn’t care how
long it took.
had stopped looking in my bag a long time ago; it wasn’t like I couldn’t use
some nice words even though they came from an anonymous source that I would
probably never know who it was. I had stopped looking inside because I never
got any notes, so I decided to stop wasting my time and to stop feeling bad
every time I looked inside.
I was surprised that someone like Zach Dempsey didn’t get a hundred of notes,
after all he was the star player in the basketball team, he was friends with
the popular people of the school, he was always in all the parties and I knew
girls liked him, still he didn’t get any compliments in his bag.
couldn’t help to feel bad for him, so I gather my things very slowly to be the last
one in the class and I wrote a note for him, which I left in his compliment bag
so the next day he would have something.
didn’t write a love letter or something like that, it was something pretty
simple, something that would make him feel better for the rest of the day; we
all deserve to receive compliments from time to time.
few days passed since the first note I wrote him and I had to admit that I
loved how he reacted so I decided to write him a couple more for the next
weeks, but I didn’t make it a daily thing.
day while I was running to class, considering that I was late to first period.
I was looking in my bag for my book and being the clumsy person that I am I ran
into someone, luckily for me I didn’t fall backwards, that would had been even
god, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking” I said as fast as I could while I bend
down to get the book that I made that person drop.
saw it was the biology book, the same one that I was looking for in my bag and
when I looked to the owner I saw it was Zach and I thanked that it was him and
not one of his stupid friends, because even though he hanged out with them Zach
was so much nicer than all of them together.
worry, are you ok?” he asked grabbing his book and smiling for some reason.
I’m fine, I’m just really bad at walking without running into people” I joked
putting my bag on my shoulder “I was looking for my bio book but it seems that
I forgot it at home” I sighed “but it doesn’t matter, see you in class” I added
walking to the classroom, I didn’t want to get even more late.
he exclaimed making me turn in his direction with a surprised expression on my
face “we can walk together and if you want you can sit with me and I’ll share
my book with you” I couldn’t help the frown on my forehead. Zach was definitely
kind, but not to this level, he was socializing voluntary with me, someone who
wasn’t even close to his little world or the people in that world, it was odd.
thank you” I answered trying to sound convinced. He reached me and we started
walking to class together “how it is that you’re late to bio? You’re always the
first one there” I added realizing he was late to his favourite class.
I didn’t get any answer I looked in his direction and I saw him smiling again,
this time even wider. We got to class so I wasn’t going to get any response to
class went by as usually, this was one of the few classes I liked, I liked to
consider myself a person of letters, but I was good at everything in general,
even though I hated all the subjects related to science or maths, that’s why it
was something unusual that I liked this one in particular and that was the
reason why I was always dazed in the teacher’s explanations, but not this time.
I couldn0t stop looking to Zach and see how he took notes of everything and how
he knew all the answers to the teacher’s questions, even though he just
answered them in his notebook and not out loud. I guess that being good at
something not related to sports wasn’t “cool”.
for me Zach caught me staring and I tried to hide my smile, but it was
impossible, I just looked in the teacher’s direction and started to take notes.
better at this than I thought” I whispered while I was writing the things that
I saw in the blackboard.
means you knew I was already good at this” he answered looking at me all the
answer was as odd as the rest of things that were happening with him this
we have this class in common, why wouldn’t I know you’re good at it?” I asked
looking at him again.
an observation” there it was again, that smile, the third time I got that
bell was close to rang when Mr. Porter came into the classroom and I knew he
was there for me, I just had to wait to hear my name and see how everyone
looked at me.
he did it I looked at Zach, who was looking at me with something like surprise
and concern. I just grabbed my things and followed Mr. Porter to his office.
know why you have called me here” I said before he could even start “and I just
have to say that everything is ok, I’m fine” I added with my usual tone.
parents don’t think the same, they seem really concern”
they are parents, when you have kids you’re life turns into an endless hole of
worries, but I’m fine, I don’t know what they’ve told you, but I know exactly
how I feel, can I go now?” the bell rang, great I was going to be late for
second period too.
do you feel? I’d like to know it so that way I can help you”
do you want to talk about it? To make me feel bad? I’ve said I know how I feel,
it doesn’t mean I want to talk about it”
you don’t talk about it you won’t be able to solve it”
is a waste of time” I said standing and taking my bag. I was in a good mood
this morning, but not anymore, thanks to this stupid “try to talk about your
wait” Mr. Porter stood like he was going to follow me, but he didn’t, I walked
out of his office without looking behind and I let a big sigh leave my chest.
started walking to communication class when I heard a certain voice calling me;
I turned in his direction with surprise in face again.
everything ok?” Zach asked coming to me.
what are you doing here?” I needed to know the answer to that question, because
we weren’t friends, we just had a few classes together and now all of the
sudden he’s worried about me.
just wanted to make sure everything was fine” when I heard how sincere he
sounded I felt something I had never felt before, it was like something inside
me was completed and I just smiled widely.
really nice of you” I mumble “Thank you”
remained silence, I didn’t know what else to say and he looked like he wanted
to continue talking, like there was something he wanted to tell me and just when
I was about to turn in the opposite direction he talked.
you like to go to Monet’s some time?” he sounded almost nervous. Like if he was
exposed to a terrible danger.
looked at him, confusion all over my face, I was trying to make sense to the
fact that he wanted to go out with me, I didn’t want to think he was playing
with me, like it was some kind of bet with his friends, that would be really
I don’t want you to misunderstand this, but… why?” his expression didn’t
don’t know, you seem interesting and I’d like to get to know you better” now I
was totally amazed.
this some kind of bet you want to win? Because if it is-“
he said stopping me “no, no bets” I think he realized then why I have my doubts
“I promise you it’s nothing like that”
why are you interested suddenly? We’ve been in the same classes since freshman
year and we have never had a real conversation, we’re from different worlds and
I know you’re nothing like your friends, because if you were I wouldn’t even be
talking to you, but when you’re with them… I don’t know, you’re not like this,
get it, I have a reputation, but give me a chance to prove you that I’m not
like that, and you won’t regret it”
accept if you tell me the real reason behind this interest”
stopped for a second, maybe thinking if he wanted to talk about it or not.
know you are the one who has left notes in my compliment bag” I opened my mouth
to say something, but words didn’t come to me, I was speechless, I didn’t know
if I should deny it or tell the truth “You’re not the only one who notice
things, you know? I’ve notice how much you enjoy when we are in literature, how
you are in your own world when you are bored, how much you like animals” I was
blushing by the second “you like bio even though science is not your favourite
area and how you laugh even when the jokes aren’t funny at all”
couldn’t believe how much he noticed me, I always thought no one looked in my
direction and that was why I felt so comfortable doing my things.
how do you know the notes were mine?” I whispered, trying to recover myself
form the things he had said to me.
I know you’re the only one who knows how much I like bio” he answered giggling
“and in your first note you wrote how cute I look when I’m paying attention in
bio and that you think I looked happier there than playing basketball”
could be anyone…”
what I thought at first, but you have confirmed my doubts today” he said
laughing at my recently shyness “Thank you for the notes by the way”
are necessary” I said trying to change the subject.
what do you say, do you want to go to Monet’s some day?” I wasn’t entirely sure
about this, I really wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t stop thinking that
maybe this was just a game and I think he knew how insecure I felt “I get you
have doubts, I just ask for one chance”
“Ok, I’ll go out with you”
I said almost cutting him, if I thought about it more I’ll change my mind and I
wouldn’t give him a change to prove he had good intentions.
expression change suddenly, he smiled brightly and I tried to hide mine but it
was impossible, I looked in other direction so he couldn’t see it, but I think
my attempt was useless.
promise you won’t regret it” he said thrilled “do you want to go to the
library? We are already really late to class anyways”
and you can help me with something I don’t understand in bio” I said walking by
his side to the library.
Ok. Like I know “She-bangs” is the devil, but can I just say, she cracked me up when she looked back at her crew after she asked for Rick. It’s like she had told them she was gonna ask, they tried to talk her out of it-
Jadis: Rick. Sexy. I ride gray beard.
Garbage Pail Kid 1: He gave cat to Sword Girl.
Garbage Pail Kid 2: He love Sword Girl.
Jadis: Yes, yes… but, look, big cock make him walk funny. I take. Make sex.
Summary: The reader is with an abusive husband and Negan saves her from him. He takes her back to the sanctuary and falls for her. But she is reluctant because of her last relationship.
Requested by @prettyepiic
Warning: Abusive husband, Death (obviously it’s TWD), swearing and smut.
Negan x Reader
It had been almost a year since all this shit went down. But this so-called ‘shit’ wasn’t the worst of your problems, your husband was. You were currently walking through the woods and your husband was yelling at you for getting you both lost.
“Stupid fuck women” He was marching in front of you, your eyes followed his feet. He wasn’t that much taller than you and you were short. But he was broad and he could break you like a twig, not like he hasn’t tried too.
“I-I think were are l-lost again…” You mumbled and trailed off. He stopped and he put his back straight. You knew what was coming but you were just trying to help.
“Are you trying to say-” he stopped to turn around and face you. “THAT I…” He started to point at his chest “….HAVE GOT US…” He waved his hand up in the air at the word ‘us’ “…LOST?!” You remained quiet, knowing if you answered or didn’t answer you were in trouble either way. That’s when you closed your eyes hard and heard the crunching of the leafs under his boots getting louder and louder. You were so concentrated on how each footstep sounded, the first hit knocked you to the ground. You let out a cry holding onto your cheek and he hit you again making the back of your head hit the tree behind you.
From a distance, you thought you heard someone say ‘the fuck’ but you thought that was your imagination wishing for someone to come along and save you. Just as your husband was about to hit you again you saw a baseball bat hit the side of his ribs and he fell sideways onto the ground.
“You little fucker! Think it’s fun to beat women that can’t even overpower you.” He put the baseball bat down and kicked him repeatedly. “Does it make you feel strong? YOU FUCKING ASS, FUCKER!” he bent down to take his baseball bat to hit him again.
What it is like being a studying poc with anxiety to the highest capacity and how I deal with it.
The first thing I have to tell you is that - your family may not understand and that is okay. Do not blame them for not understanding what anxiety is, the environment you grew up in and the environment they grew up in are completely different, also we have different pressures that we are facing. For example, my father and his entire family were fleeing a genocide - and the last thing on their mind was mental health and personal care. However, as a first generation living in the United Kingdom - mental health is the most important thing to me and being students, I know we put a world’s worth of pressure on succeeding and doing well. This may not always be good for us (unless you work well under pressure, do you).
Let me just talk a bit about my anxiety here. It is mostly situational anxiety - for example when it comes to exams or public speaking (my role on the school head girl team meant I had to just literally speak publicly every other day - I will make a separate post about this and how I overcame that fear) exam season and revision.
These tips won’t make anxiety go away completely, but studying with anxiety can be made easier - yes, I know it sounds insane, but it has really worked for me.
1. Make your desk a safe space.
Make your desk as soothing for your anxiety as possible. This may include having some plants around, decorating your desk with a particular theme - make it work for you! Let the theme be relaxing, have pictures of the ocean! Let it completely sooth you when you sit down to study. I personally have my desk next to a window so I can get fresh air when I need it. That is another thing… Let yourself breath - do not make your desk too cluttered, have it super minimalist, the less you feel claustrophobic the better.
2. Try and get into a routine.
This is does not always work for me because I work in bursts - but it has worked for many of my friends. When you have a routine, you won’t feel blindsided when you have to study - for example, I get super anxious when I can feel the amount of work I need to do. But if you have a routine, you know that you are studying at this specific time and nothing is being thrown in your direction - you can plan for it therefore remain completely in control.
3. Avoid caffeine - seriously.
I know that coffee looks super cute for the aesthetic tumblr photos but - avoid it at all costs! Caffeine is a psychoactive drug. Lets call it what it is and it is mega terrible for your anxiety. It will cause and/or exacerbate your anxiety symptoms. I can not stress this enough, stay away from caffeine.
4. Take your medications - if you have been subscribed them!
I am not ashamed to tell the world, loud and clear - I am on Propranolol for when my anxiety becomes uncontrollable (lets start publicly making it ok and safe for people to take medications without any stigma please, thanks). Yes, it is a super strong tablet. For those who do not know, its a beta blocker and it stops you from physically having a panic attack by keeping your heart at a consistent rhythm or beat I don’t know the correct terminology (medblrs come through) - do not be ashamed, be proud that you are taking the necessary steps to gain control again.
5. Take regular walks and control your breaking.
I walk to the breaths I take - a bit like walking to a beat, but its more relaxing. With anxiety, breaking is the key to mastering it. Master your breathing! I’ve noticed that being deeply connected to my breathing means I sense any tension in my body and sensing tension is the first step to identifying if you are feeling anxious or if you feel a panic attack coming on.
6. Keep a close eye on your stimuli! (Yes, I did just rhyme)
What is making you anxious? Do you have triggers? If you do - learn to minimise contact with them. Be it a person, a place, an object. You do not need to stay in environments that make you feel uncomfortable (unless you are forced to stay - for example dealing with anxiety in class, I’ll make a another post about how to deal with that) I had a friend who used to make me super anxious and I don’t spend that much time with her anymore simply because she wasn’t good for my mental health. Which brings me to my next point - people can be triggers to your anxiety and staying away from them is OK.
I don’t know if this is helpful but if even one person benefits from this - putting myself out there and owning my anxiety disorder is so worth it. Suffering from anxiety is hard, it is really hard and I just want to say - to all those who suffer from anxiety, you are going to be ok. Whatever coping technique you have or however you deal with it, I am proud of you and you are doing great.
My message box and ask is open to you. Sometimes talking to another sufferer is easier - I understand and I’ve got you, message me, rant to me! It is better out than in.
This is my first - really official post on tumblr and I want to know if this was helpful, please give me feedback. I want to learn how I can help and get the message out there more effectively.
And because it is my first post - I’m going to tag some of my favourite blogs (not the most subtle introduction haha, but super important).
I was just rewatching the Peridot redemption arc and thinking about Amedot and man I’m really really sad they made Lapidot the ship in SU. Amedot had so much real, palpable chemistry. No offense to Lapidot fans but to me It was such a wasted opportunity and it kind of makes me sad when I think about it.
At least there’s Pearl x Mystery Girl. I hope that turns out OK, waiting to find out more about Mystery Girls personality before I get my hopes up again.