Please don’t worry about me.
I’m just a little tired from being strong all the time…. Between dealing with all my own problems, pretending everything’s fine and helping other people with their problems – I sometimes feel like I have no energy left.
Sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to be taken care of… for someone to wrap me up in a blanket, hold me while I cry and tell me that they love me and that everything will be alright. But for some reason, whenever anyone asks me if I’m okay – I always say I’m fine!?
I think deep down I’m afraid…. Afraid that if I reach out for help, I might be let down… or afraid that if open up, all the pain I’ve been holding inside will come flooding out and I won’t be able to stop it.
I think that’s possibly the biggest paradox of having strength… that sometimes you spend so much of your energy being strong for yourself and others that it ultimately weakens you to the point where you feel you have nothing left to give… That’s how I’m feeling right now – but give me time and I know I’ll be okay.
I’ll push through like I always do… because I’m strong….
and I don’t know how to be any other way.
ok…… am i gonna brave it… am i gonna try to reopen my preteen deviantart account to look for that one artist i wanted to find.. the one i really liked and shipped eve probe 2 with a starwars guy……….. do i truly have the gut s to jump back in…………
… Made this blog my recovery blog. Deleted all of the ana content and started fresh with healthy food logs and health inspiration and stuff. So I could never come crawling back here after fucking up recovery because this is recovery?
Would you guys unfollow me if I tried it? Or is it a dumb idea?