Cursed Child was dumb and here are some reasons why
(warning: spoilers. this probably won’t make sense unless you’ve read the script. far be it from me to recommend this kneazle-vomit of a play, though, so if you haven’t read it, good)
the plot is messy, strange, and childish. there’s only one time-turner left!! how will the characters cope when said time-turner is lost? oh lol they’ll just use this other convenient time-turner. for convenient plot points, see also: harry can suddenly speak parseltongue again, because well he just kind of needs to be able to do that
Harry cursing “oh dumbledore” without a hint of irony. like really? really
the characterisation was a pile of dragon dung and we all freaking know it. let’s break it down into individual characters here because fuck if I can stop at one bullet point for this
Hermione: the brightest witch of her age, the constant crusader for the unloved and the unrepresented, whose successful career and capacity for kindness apparently rest in the hands of her romance with Ron Weasley. oh… but wait. it sounds a little familiar, this story. hear me out. let’s see now, a highly intelligent person who falls in love but doesn’t have that love reciprocated, and who then becomes a really fucking mean teacher at Hogwarts through bitterness. sound like anyone we know? fam, they tried to parallel Hermione and Snape. Hermione and Snape. this being the same Snape who sneered in Hermione’s face when she’d been visibly hexed, and made her cry; the same Snape who bullied Neville Longbottom for years, while Hermione muttered instructions under her breath to help him. if you want to tell me that Hermione would ever allow herself to become a Snape parallel then I will kindly invite you to shove a dirigible plum where there’s no lumos solem
Harry: when Harry was at his angriest in OOTP, and he’s yelling at Ron and Hermione, there’s one thing we notice. everything he yells is true. he means it. he’s bitter about it and he’s loud and furious, but he doesn’t have the kind of anger that just says anything to cause hurt, that speaks without thinking, not even at this crisis point in his life. are you really going to tell me that the boy who knows down to his bones what it’s like to feel rejected, and misunderstood, and alone, would ever say - even in anger - that he wishes Albus wasn’t his son? I am going to snap wands over this
Cedric. and this one burns. because Cedric was brave and he was true, and he had a sense of justice that led him to telling Harry about the way the golden egg worked, and led him to sharing the winning of the triwizard tournament with Harry. he died, he was murdered at the age of seventeen, embodying a sense of justice so strong, an innocence, a goodness. Cedric Diggory - the boy who believed in fairness with an integrity that is astounding - becoming party to the indiscriminate killing and casual torture of the Death Eaters just because he had his head engorged one time… is about as likely as Hagrid stomping on a dragon egg. it’s an insult to who he was and I am going to engorge the entire bodies of the writers of this fucking play so that hopefully they’ll just float away too, with all the grace and likeability of Aunt Marge
Voldemort: can we all agree now that Voldemort would not father a child. the idea of him experiencing lust seems out of character; the idea of him giving into a base urge seems more so. it’s too human, too vulgar, too physical; it would associate him with the common and the mainstream in a way that I contend he would find repulsive. Tom Riddle Sr. was trapped by Merope into sex and romance; to have sex would be to bring himself closer to his parents, down to the level of a Muggle and a witch who lacked power and craved love, two things Voldemort could never, ever stand. no. he wouldn’t have sex just because he wanted to; he’d be repelled by the idea. what other reason could there be for him to do the nasty with Bellatrix? to ensure the continuation of his line? that makes even less sense. achieving immortality for Voldemort was always a question of magic, a personal quest. he wouldn’t go for a messy, physical back-up plan. he always thought that he would win. if anything, he would see a child as a future threat, not a security. another being in the world with the promise of his power? he wouldn’t risk it.
what the fuck was that trolley witch scene though
“for voldemort and valour” are you serious. is there a Gryffindor spy in the Voldemort camp laughing their ass off because they actually managed to get that one through. and are they ten years old
overall, the message of the play infuriated me. Delphi was the child of Voldemort, so she was evil. Albus was the child of Harry, so he was good. Scorpius was the son of Draco, so he should have been evil, but Draco’s actually kind of good now and his mother was nice, so he can be good too. where is the complexity? was five hours of drama not enough to find some shades of morality? where is the hope, where is the resonance, in a story that says that good begets good and evil begets evil, and nothing can really change? the Harry Potter book series was about a boy who grew up with something inside him that was utterly evil, and who rejected it, fought against it, changed the path that fate seemed to wish him to walk. not slytherin, not slytherin. we had Regulus Black and Sirius Black, who rejected their pasts, whose heritage and whose House stood for nothing against their principles, their eventual and separate forms of bravery. we had Remus Lupin, who transformed into a monster but never became one, not even after years of rejection and pain. we had the word mudblood, and we watched Hermione fight it, we knew it was ridiculous to label someone based on their blood. and now… we have the Cursed Child. a playwhich is flat, and stupid, and tells us that your parentage inevitably dictates your character - and that how you’re treated is how you’ll treat others. dear writers, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, you fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. you fucks.
You knew it was wrong. You knew that you
shouldn’t be thinking about that, but you couldn’t help. He was such a tease
and you weren’t being able to hold it back anymore.
Kim Taehyung. He was driving you crazy.
He was messing with your head.
he was driving you insane, and that
tongue and the way he played with it… Urgh!
Yeah, you were friends, but
you couldn’t help but have to deal with your other side. The one that was
making you realize how hot Taehyung was, and the fact that you shared apartment
with him wasn’t helping at all.
All started after you see a video of him.
He was licking his lips in that, putting it out of his mouth teasingly. Shit. Thenceforth, you understood all
the girls that always fell for him. You understood the whole “thing”
people had about his tongue.
had to feel it.
However, you were friends. You
couldn’t just go there and say “please eat me out”, or “please
use your tongue on me”. Despite the fact Taehyung was ALWAYS with some
girl in his room, you were not just a girl. You were his friend and it could
you used to hear was their moans and curses at his eating out. Usually you
didn’t care about it but now that you wanted to be the one who was being eaten out, you were getting upset.
“Come on, fool girl, it’s gonna be
fun” he insisted.
was going to meet with the boys that night and you were invited. He was in your
bedroom, complaining, insisting for you to go with him. But sincerely, all you
wanted was to avoid him. Your amusement was too hard to hold back and you
needed to release.
“No Tae, seriously, just go. I’ll be fine here” you said for
the millionth time.
“Fine. See you later” he said, not happy about your final
decision but grabbed his jacket and left your bedroom.
Once you heard the front door being opened and closed, you automatically
threw yourself onto the bed.
let your mind fly, thinking about all the things he could do to you. How his
body would feel against yours… Unconsciously, your hands started exploring
your own body, your fingers playing with the waistband of your pants as your
other hand rubbed your nipples over your shirt, imagining it was his hand. You
closed your eyes, lost in the sensation. You started to let out low moans. It
didn’t take long for you to be hissing Taehyung’s name louder and louder, not
realizing that the front door had been opened again.
“Y/N have you seen my ke-” Taehyung opened your bedroom’s
door, not finishing his sentence when he saw the sight of you touching yourself,
calling his name. You froze, your eyes snapped open when you heard his voice.
“Oh my…” You tried to say, but all you could do was sat up
on the edge of the bed and stare at him. “Taehyung, I…”
“What are you doing?” he said, starting to walk towards you,
“W-hy did you come back? Oh my god I’m so so-” you started
saying but were cut off when he sat beside you and placed one finger on your
lips, silencing you.
“I heard you moaning my name” he said. Your face couldn’t be
pinker. You couldn’t be more nervous. Shit shit shit.
“I’m sorry, Tae, I didn’t want to-” You said but he placed one
finger on your lips again.
“What were you thinking?” he asked. No. I’m not saying. I’m not telling him. I can’t.
He noticed your hesitation and breathed
“I’m not gonna ask again”. Ok.
Here we go.
“W-Well… I, hum… I was wondering, well, your tongue…”
you cut yourself off. Fucking hell, Y/N,
just say it.
Before you could think he leaned in and
placed his lips against yours, licking your bottom lip and sliding his tongue
in. Ah… that tongue.
first, you couldn’t move. You couldn’t reply or stop him. Your brain was
screaming. What is he doing?
“You mean this tongue?” he asked, licking his lips. God. You
nodded slowly, watching him. “What do you want it to do?”
“I want you to eat me out” you said and the sec the words left
your mouth, you looked away from him, embarrassed.
He chuckled and pushed you backwards softly
till your back hit the mattress.
spread your legs and placed himself between them, kissing you once again. Then,
he traveled down to your jawline and neck.
“You know…” he said between wet kisses, “I never
thought that you had a kink for my tongue too”
of hands were grabbing your thigh, squeezing it.
“If you wanted me to pleasure you, all you had to do was ask. We
are friends” he said.
“I-I didn’t know how… and I thought that it would ruin our
friendship” you said shyly, watching his ministrations on your body.
took off your shirt, smiling when he saw you weren’t wearing a bra.
“Don’t worry baby girl. We are not kids anymore”
took one of your nipples in his mouth, circling his tongue on your nipple as
his other hands massaged your other breast. Low whimpers were now leaving your
“Wait, Tae, what about the boys?” you said
“They can wait” he answered simply. He started kissing your
belly, stopping when his mouth reached your pants.
You noticed that he was fully dressed but didn’t have strength to ask
him why. Once your clothes were completely off, he pulled away from you to
stare at your body. You felt nervous but didn’t cover yourself.
“Fuck, you’re hot. I can’t wait to taste this pretty pussy of
yours” he whispered and let his head disappear between your legs. He
kissed your inner thighs, avoiding the place you wanted the most. Fuck you were
dripping wet already.
“Tae…please” you whimpered
“Just eat me out already” you begged. He smiled successfully
and his tongue finally find your clit. You gasped, his tongue making small
circles on your clit as his finger teased your entrance. He gave you a long,
deep lick and breathed in heavily.
“Your taste is amazing” he said.
Then, he pushed one finger in, pumping it in and out in a slow pace as his
tongue was massaging your clit. He stopped, but just to switch positions. His
tongue were now at your entrance and his fingers rubbing your clit. He started
to fuck you with his tongue, licking your walls. You couldn’t hold that back anymore,
moans and curses leaving your mouth as he started rubbing your clit more
“Are you liking that baby girl? Is that what you expect about my
tongue?” he asked against your pussy, his warm breath sending you shivers.
Shit, now you had completely understood the other girls. His damn god tongue
“Fuck yes, oh my god Tae” you whimpered. You started to feel
that thing in your stomach, and it didn’t take long for you to cum on his
ride your orgasm, his tongue moving rougher and rougher.
Once you were done, he cleaned his face and waiter for you to get
“I gotta go, baby girl” he said and placed a kiss against your
“When I am back, maybe I can fuck you with another thing” he
said before he turned around and left.
Such a lovely prompt from @elvhen-apostate-hobo, and I cried through the whole thing. I made this for @silent-of-spirit and her Inquisitor Liarha, the bold, strong spirit who suffers through so much, yet brings order to Thedas. And a massive thank you to @elfsplaining who I really never ever could write anything without. :’)
I hope you enjoy!
Hushed whispers and shocked gasps echoed through skyhold when the news spread and now silence clung to the walls as if death himself had walked through the mass. Dinner was cut short, although no order of it had been given. The population of their small community roamed the halls, heads hung low in solidarity with their leader.
post-squip; jeremy is buds w/ rich and michael isn’t really, so jer is like “hey you should also be friends with rich” and michael agrees so he and rich becomes friends but jer then feels jealous bc mike is hanging with rich more and more
I walk down the hall to meet up with Rich- yes that Rich, the same Rich that bullied me for a year, the same Rich that set a fire and burned down a house.
That’s all behind us now that the Squip is gone. Ever since that happened, everyone has been pretty chill and not as douchey.
I see Rich up ahead, with Jake, and go towards him.
“Hey, Heere!” Rich calls as soon as I reach him.
“Jeremy.” Jake nods.
“Hey, Rich, Jake.” I say.
As they continue to talk, i take my time to look around.
I see Chloe texting someone, and Brooke trailing behind her like a lost puppy. There’s Jenna talking to Justin Croft about something drastic that has happened.
And walking through the door is Michael. Michael has been my friend, since I can remember. Walking with him, is Christine. I dated her for a while, but we just didn’t click. I was heartbroken for a while, but Michael helped me through it.
“Heere? Heere? JEREMY!” Rich yells as i snap back to reality.
“Um what?” I say (awkwardly shall I add).
“Why don’t you ask Mike over there to hang with us?” Rich asks, also looking at Michael.
“Um, I don’t know, Michael doesn’t do well with new people. I-I could try though, heh.” I say.
Rich gestures to get Michael and I take a deep breath and go to him. Ever since I broke up with Christine, I’ve been closer with Michael. Yeah sure, I was close with him before, but it’s different, ya know?
I get to Michael, “Hey buddy! Rich wants to k is if you want to hang with us?” I ask.
Michael darts his eyes towards Rich and Jake and then back to me.
“Umm, I don’t know man. I promised Christine to help her with math.” Michael says scratching the back of his neck.
Christine interjects, “No no! It’s fine! Really. I’ll just ask someone else.” She says smiling.
Michael laughs nervously and shrugs, “Guess I’m with you guys.”
“Hey,” I say putting a hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable.”
He gives me a warm smile, “It’s fine, we all need to get out of our comfort zone once in a while.”
We walk back to Rich and see that Jake had left to go talk to other people.
Rich sends Michael a warm smile, “Hey, Michael, how ya doin’?” Rich asks.
Michael shrugs, “Good I guess?”
Suddenly the bell rings signaling that first is starting.
“Nice chatting with you too! See ya at lunch?” Rich asks, walking away.
“See ya, Rich!” I call back, “You want me to walk you to science?” I ask Micheal.
“I’ll be fine. See you later, Jer!” Michael smiles and waves, and then he’s gone.
I wave back and then I’m off to first.
Lunch, best part of the day. I can finally eat food without getting in trouble. You can talk to your friends without being told to be quiet. You can wonder aimlessly outside. Do whatever in these 30 minutes.
I walk to where Michael and I usually have lunch and spot Michael and Rich looking at Rich’s phone.
I’ve gotta admit, I feel a pang of hurt, but quickly push it off like nothing and head over to them.
“Hey guys, hope you didn’t eat all the food without me,” I joke, sitting next to Michael, who is now i’m the middle.
“Dude, you have to see. Rich just showed me a video of Jake fall and dropping his Slushee!” Michael says between laughs as Rich hands over the phone to me.
To be honest, I don’t really pay attention to the video. I pretend to laugh and i glance at Michael and Rich’s legs touching. Weird, I know. it i still can’t help feeling… envious? I don’t know, but I don’t like it, whatever it is.
I hand the phone back, “Sooo, Michael, my dad is going out this weekend so it’s just me and I wanted to know if you wanted to sleep over or something? We could play games, you’ll be my player two! Like old time,” I smile awkwardly at Michael.
Michael eyes widen, “Oh! Uuhh well, actually, Rich kinda already invited me over and, uh, I said yeah?” Michael scratches his neck.
Ok now that hurts.
“Oh, that’s fine. You two have fun,” I sadly smile.
Michael looks at me for a second and turns back to Rich to finish their conversation.
For the rest of lunch, I stay quiet.
Last day till another week of hell.
And the last day till I see him again.
His tan skin, black hair. His brown eyes and that same damn red sweatshirt he wears everyday.
I hear my phone buzz, and I shit up from my bed to retrieve it.
It’s from him.
Of course it is.
Player 1: jer, u ok????
I quickly text back:
jerbear: ya?????? why wouldn’t i be????
Player 1: u seemed off on fri…
jerbear: bro,,, i’m fine,,, really
jerbear: how was hanging w/ rich?
Player 1: oh
Player 1: we never ended up hanging out…
jerbear: oh??? why?
Player 1: i just,, didn’t feel like it.
Player 1: it’s not that same
jerbear: ??? explain
I turn off my phone and go downstairs to get lunch while waiting for a reply.
Once I get downstairs, I see my dad (without pants) making something that we’ll probably eat for dinner.
“Hey they, Heere!” He greets.
“Hey dad.” I reply, getting left over pizza from the fridge.
“Why do you sound so… meh?” He asks, turning around.
“Why is everyone asking that!?” I snap, slamming the fridge door shut.
“Woah, Jeremy, just askin’.” Dad says, putting his hands up defensively.
I sigh, “Sorry, I’ve just been…” I trail off looking outside the kitchen window.
“Huh, so you like someone?” Dad says smiling.
This draws me back, “whAT NO WHY WOULDYOUSAYTHATNODADIDONTLIKEANYONEWHOEOUODEVENLIKEMEAREYOU-”
“Jeremy!” My dad cuts me off, “I was just asking!! But by the seems of that answer… you do like someone!” He laughs.
“Ugh, dad, I- I don’t know.” I say sitting down at the table and putting my head down.
“Well, if you do like someone, I’ll be there to help you sort it out.” He reassures me, patting me on the back.
I sigh once more, and head back upstairs with my cold pizza.
Once I sit back on my bed, I check me phone for any answer, and I’m surprised to see multiple texts from Michael.
Player 1: its just whenever im hanging round rich and ur not there it doesnt feel the same
Player 1: like ya rich is cool and all that jazz but its just two dudes hanging out
Player 1: but w/ u it feels more personal and kajdjsjdk
Player 1: ugh sorry i’m venting
Player 1: ill stop bothering u
I immediately reply.
jerbear: nonono tell me, i want to know
Player 1: its complicated bro
jerbear: there’s nothing you can’t tell me
jerbear: i’ll be there for you
Player 1: but what if u hate me???
jerbear: there is nothing you can do to make me hate you man
Player 1: okok hold on it’s a lot to write
And with that, he starts typing away and I am left to wonder.
An hour later and I still haven’t gotten a reply, and it’s starting to worry me.
Finally, my phone buzzes and I quickly go to read it.
Player 1: i like you
Wait.. was that it!? That’s what took an hour to write!?
But wait, does he like me? As a friend or… more??????
jerbear: i like you too bro
Player 1: no
Player 1: i mean i LIKE you
Ok, that wasn’t the right to to send.
But the question is… do I feel the same way?
Player 1: jeremy??!!
jerbear: give me a min to think k
Player 1: !!!!
It’s now Monday morning and I’ve been looking at that message all night, trying to figure out what to say.
I begin typing.
jerbear: 1) sorry i haven’t answered yet, i needed time to think
jerbear: 2) i like you too
jerbear: 3) i think i’ve been lowkey jealous of you hanging with rich
Player 1: woah man
Player 1: sweet
Player 1: wanna go out on a date????
I smile at the text.
jerbear: sure :)
Player 1: :))
jerbear: date meaning you and i get stoned in your basement and watch a movie
SO, the twitter bio could once again be talking about Jack impersonating Anti, and how he deceived the audience, but only for a short while.
The location comes across as a little strange though. It may be Anti mocking US for taking every little detail too far, and so these things that don’t exist and they’re just in our heads.
And finally, the tumblr bio; this might be hinting that he planned all of this to happen. He knew that we would notice the little details. He knew we would come up with these theories? But why? And how? Just to have a reason to be mad at Jack? Just to have a reason to kill him again? Perhaps. We’ll just have to wait and see…
@pennywyatt requested: REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN YAYAYA! ok here we go, could I request a thor x reader where thor finds (y/n) lost and unhealthy and he helps her out? I love you blog and i’m super excited to read this in your writing style💗💗💗
Pairing: Thor x Reader
Warnings: mention of torture - i took this imagine a bit farther so it would be more angsty!
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED!
You felt hands grab you, picking you up from the dirt beneath you. You would’ve never realized the change had you not heard the soft uttering of your name. You slowly opened your eyes, and even then you weren’t sure how you had done it.
You’d been lost for months - or rather captive. Your body had been deprived of the normal things it needed to be healthy and you were left unnaturally skinny and your skin a sickly pale. You’d been deprived of everything a human needs to live a healthy life and instead reduced to nothing. Your body weighed nothing in his hands and your sure your saviour had noticed. But not only that, the clothes you’d been taken in were ripped to shreds, barely covering your body.
You didn’t know it was Thor who had saved you - at least not yet. You didn’t know for the entirety of your absence, Thor had spent both day and night searching for you. Not yet. One day you might find out about the journeys and depths Thor had gone to find you, but in that moment as he carried your lithe body in his arms - he knew that now was not the time.
What mattered now was getting you home - getting you safe and nursing you back to health.
Now was not the time for revenge and now was certainly not the time to question you on the events that had happened to you. Thor didn’t know if he ever would and he’d hold off all those who tried for as long as he could. You needed rest, you need love and care not to be demanded with a million questions at once.
Thor picked you up in his arms, cradling you against himself and one hand softly reached out to brush a strand of dirty hair out of your face. He’d bathe you in the finest of baths, make sure you were dined and cared for for as long as you needed. His eyes looked lovingly down at your beaten face and Thor felt his heart break.
How could had let this happen?
Let the one he loved most slip between his fingers?
“It’s okay,” Thor soothed, his normally gruff and loud voice soft with care and worry. “You’re okay. I’m here now.”