ohmygod how

where adrien flirts
  • so adrien has a little problem: he likes marinette. like he really, honest-to-god likes her, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. his track record with girls isn’t so stellar. after he confessed his feelings to ladybug as chat noir, she calmly turned him down and admitted she liked someone else. so as nino would say, without a lady to tie him down, adrien agreste is single and ready to mingle
  • but he’s always been single?? and what does mingle even mean?? like, nino, what the hell, dude?? help a man out. 
  • so nino sits him down and explains how to get his crush. with his previous crush, nino tells him, adrien obviously didn’t do it right, and that’s why she turned him down (nino doesn’t know it was ladybug, and he just likes to think adrien was crushing on a supermodel who was totally out of even his league). 
  • nino: “you gotta flirt, man. the ladies love a dude who’s chill and cool and confident. you gotta rock it and own it. you got this.”
    adrien: “but how? every time I go to her, she looks at me, and I can’t… make my words work.”
    nino: “….you two are perfect for each other.”
    adrien: “what?”
    nino: “what?”
  • nino gives him an article with a few tips for flirting. this shouldn’t be too bad, and hey, it worked on alya, nino swears by it. so with 10 Flirting Techniques That Are Garunteed to Work on Women on his mind, adrien is determined to woo the ladies.
  • 1. set the stage with the “soft stare”: so all he had to do was stare at marinette as deeply as possible whenever they had a conversation while maintaining a calm and relaxed expression. marinette likes to stutter and stammer her ways through her words, and he couldn’t blame her, because he lost control when he tried to talk to her as well, and usually her antics made him smile and laugh. but according to the tips, he wasn’t allowed to.
  • it’s all good for a week or so, until nino pulls him aside and asks why he looks like he’s plotting how to murder marinette in her sleep like some type of serial killer every time he talks to her. 
  • he stops talking to her after that. alya tracks him down a few days later and whacks him upside the head for making her best friend cry by ignoring her. adrien goes back to talking to marinette as normally as possible after that because it’s better to talk to her as friends than invoke his “killer smile” while trying to flirt.
  • 2. be vague and leave her wanting more: adrien has this in the bag. he knows how to skirt around a topic, but that’s just because he has to make sure he kept his secret identity as a superhero of Paris a… secret. being vague is one of his best talents, it also helps with those stupid paparazzi who always follow him. the article offers some suggests: tell her you know a secret about her, tell her there’s something interesting about her and you can’t put your finger on it, tell her that’s she exactly your type but don’t tell her what you type actually is, etc. he spends most of the night plotting his exact words, and the next day, when he sees marinette, it just comes spilling out…
  • adrien: “i know your secret, marinette.”
    marinette: “…what?”
    well shit, adrien thought, the article didn’t tell him what happened after this.
    adrien: “…i know it. your secret… i knew there was something about you that i couldn’t put my finger on.”
    marinette: “…wait, so you know? ohmygodthiscan’tbehappening,ohmygod, how did you figure it out???”
  • adrien wasn’t sure what to do after this point, so like the article said, he leaves her wanting more and nopes the fuck outta there, cha-cha sliding out of the classroom and bolting down the hallway before she could catch him.
  • 3. the sensual look: once a girl is comfortable around you, give her a mischievous look that makes her think. the article (and nino) never really explain what the girl will think about, but adrien totally supports girl empowerment and helping those smart cookies get the best grades and brilliance recognition they deserve. if a mischievous smile is all it takes, then he’s more than happy to help.
  • he flashes her a quirky smirk in Madame Bustier’s lecture, marinette notices and freezes up. he thinks he did it wrong when nino just leans closer and says, “you broke marinette.”
  • adrien apologizes after class and swears he’ll never break her again. marinette just mumbles, “you can break me anytime.”
  • adrien thinks it’s counterproductive. 
  • 4. the surprise wink: whenever you pass her, just wink after you lock eyes, nino says, she won’t expect it and it’ll surprise her but give her the clear and distinct message that you are flirting with her. adrien wants marinette to know he likes her and wants to flirt with he rand wants to date her and just be with her, so he winks every time he gets. 
  • they see each other in class? wink he catches her eyes while they study for physics? wink they talk about madame bustier’s homework? wink she asks him for his opinion on her designs? wink 
  • at first, she giggles. after two weeks, she presents him with a bottle of over-the-counter artificial tears for his “eye twitch.” he stops winking after that and doesn’t talk to nino for the rest of the day.
  • 5. the playful bump: playful actions, like bumping, will definitely make a girl smile. 
  • adrien: “but nino, i could hurt her.”
    nino: “no, my dude, she knows you’re teasing.”
    adrien: “i don’t care if she knows. what if i knock her over?”
    nino: “no, you don’t do it hard, you just–”
    adrien: “what if she falls over and breaks her nose? i don’t wanna break her nose, nino. she has a cute nose.”
    nino: “adrien, you’re not gonna break her–”
    adrien: “niNO
  • 6. the understatement: understate the compliments you give her, okay, okay, adrien can do this. it’s simple.
  • adrien: “marinette, your eyes are blue… like avatar’s skin. just blue.. all over.. it’s great. not the brightest blue, but not the darkest. just blue. you have blue eyes, marinette.”
    marinette: *is speechless*
    nino: “…you nailed that, adrien.”
    adrien: “oh thanks, nino.”
  • 7. the double negative, “i don’t think you’re not beautiful”: 
    adrien: “but i do think she’s beautiful.”
    nino: “i know, you’re telling her that.”
    adrien: “but you just said i don’t think she’s beautiful?”
    nino: “no, no, you said you don’t think she’s not beautiful, so ergo you think she is beautiful.”
    adrien: “…grammar hurts my head, nino.”
    nino: “i know, my dude, i understand.”
  • 8. the sensual tease, tease her for liking you: okay, but adrien doesn’t know if marinette likes him like that? nino swears she does, and alya says so too, but it still makes him feel bad for teasing her. so he doesn’t tease her and just keeps doing stuff like he normally does, like walking her home from school and helping her study physics and giving her advice for her designs and keeping a stash of food for her on the mornings she runs late and he knows she didn’t have breakfast yet.
  • nino rolls his eyes, but adrien doesn’t care. his momma didn’t raise no hooligan. no, if he was going to flirt with marinette, at least he can be a gentleman about it.
  • 9. the moniker: giving her a cute nickname will let her know how special she is. adrien spends a week thinking about it, and nino gives him a few suggestions, but he doesn’t listen. if he’s giving marinette a nickname, it has to be something he does because it’ll let her know she’s special to him.
  • a few days later, he slips up and calls her “princess” because she’s pretty, sweet, smart, likes pink, and is a natural born leader just like a royal. marinette freezes when he calls her that, but she smiles and laughs eventually. she seems to like it, and he keeps doing it. it’s fitting, he supposes, for someone like her. marinette, his princess.
  • does that mean he gets to be her knight?
  • nino calls him a nerd.
  • 10. tell her how you feel: it’s the last step, and adrien agonizes over it for days. it can’t really be as simple as nino makes it out to be, but then again, his best friend has been dating a pretty sweet gal for months, so it obviously worked for him. adrien broods over it for a while, and alya warns him not to ignore marinette for days again, and he swears he isn’t. he’s just trying to find his courage. why oh why is it so much easier to face an akuma with certain death hanging over his head than tell a girl how he really feels?
  • marinette decides to take matters into her own hands, which he isn’t really surprised by because she usually is a head-strong, independent female. what he is surprised by is when ladybug swings into his bedroom window and transforms into marinette right before his very eyes.
  • marinette: “why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong?”
    adrien: *adrien.exe has stopped working*
    marinette: “…adrien?”
    adrien: “…you’re… ladybug?!”
    marinette: “yeah, i know. you know. we’ve been over this–”
    adrien: “nononoNO, we most certainly haven’t.”
    marinette: *marinette.exe has stopped working*
    adrien: “…marinette?”
    marinette: “I… but you said you knew my secret.”
    adrien: “I WAS BEING VAGUE.”
    marinette: “WHY?!”
    adrien: “IVE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU.”
    marinette: “…you have?”
    adrien: “well, i was trying–”
  • plagg: *pops out of adrien’s pocket* “oh, are we trading secrets?”
    tikki: *pops out of marinette’s bag* “I think so?”
    plagg: *holds out paw to marinette* “fine. im plagg, i turn him into chat noir. nice to finally meet you. i’m glad you guys are finally telling each other, it’s been so tiring listening to him mooning over you. do you have any cheese?”
    marinette: “…you’re chat noir?”
    adrien: *dies*

so marinette and adrien are dating now, so in a way he thinks his plan worked? that doesn’t stop marinette from asking him how he thought he’d been flirting, so he tells her nino’s tips. she laughs for a week straight. that’s the last time he ever listens to nino.

an adrien version of this post. some people asked for an adrien version, it’s not directly a sequel, but still another au. just two nerds trying to flirt and failing spectacularly. 

crimson-chains  asked:

PROMPT: VICTURI GLITTER DICK, YOU KNOW WHY

Victor all but stumbled into their hotel room, laughing and waving enthusiastically to someone in the hallway. He spun on his heels, face alight and quite literally sparkling under the dim lights. “Yuuuuuri!” he boldly declared a split second before shushing himself with a chuckle, in the realization that his voice was a decibel above intended.

Said Yuuuuuri glanced up from bed, adjusting his glasses and setting down his phone, game on it paused. He squeaked, managing to snatch his phone out of the way as Victor collapsed onto the bed, draping himself across his fiancé.

“I can see you had fun,” Yuuri commented with a laugh, swiping a finger across one of Victor’s alcohol-flushed cheeks. It came back glimmering.

Victor mumbled something in Russian as he nuzzled into the back of Yuuri’s neck, littering it with slightly sloppy kisses. “You should have come with us, my love, it’d be waaaay more fun.”

“Would I come back covered in glitter too?” Yuuri asked, glancing down at the white bedsheets, which were now dusted with the sparkles coming off Victor’s skin.

“Chris’s idea!” Victor announced. “He covered me in gold, look!” Sitting up, Victor fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, only managing to get a couple undone before a low whine at his own slow speed signaled to Yuuri that he wanted help.

Still laughing at the sight of his normally very put together fiancé, Yuuri admired the messy silver hair also dusted in tiny gold flecks and the unkempt state of his shirt with the button alignment off—meaning it had already come off at one point during the night. Clubbing with Victor, Chris, and one of the wilder ice dance pairs the night before a ten-hour flight had seemed like a bad idea to Yuuri, and he hardly regretted turning down the invitation. All the more knowing that he would have come back to the room drunk and bathed in glitter.

“Mmmm, Yuuri, hurry up,” Victor complained, teeth finding the lobe of Yuuri’s ear, breath hot and moist against it as he nipped.

Yuuri was finding it hard to hurry up when Victor’s tongue was skating patterns along the shell of his ear. “S-stop that,” he scolded, getting the last button undone with steely determination.

The shirt hit the floor immediately, followed by a cascade of golden glitter that would surely justify a significant tip of apology to the maid. “Someone said I looked like Oscar!” Victor said, gesturing to his chest, which was indeed covered with thick ribbons of glitter. Each shift of his muscles caused an explosion of light to sparkle off his skin. “…Who’s Oscar?”

“Who’s Oscar, I don’t kno–” Yuuri paused in his mental search and started to laugh. “Oh, I think they meant an Oscar! The Academy Award? For movies? Like Best Picture?”

“You bet I’m the fucking best picture,” Victor bragged and then slid back onto the bed, drawing Yuuri’s hands to his chest. “Hey, Yuuri, hey. Do you wanna kiss gold?”

Chuckling, Yuuri nodded and pressed a chaste kiss to Victor’s lips, only to be tackled onto the mattress, caught in one much deeper.

“Oh my god, Victor, you’re getting glitter everywhere,” Yuuri protested, gold now dusting his own skin, spreading as Victor greedily sucked at his throat and pushed up the fabric of Yuuri’s shirt at the same time, hands transferring glitter along the expanse of Yuuri’s abdomen.

“I wanna make you gold and kiss you all over.” Victor palmed between Yuuri’s legs, tearing a gasp from him.

“Okay, okay, I think we need to get you cleaned up.” Best to logic quickly, before he lost the ability to. Yuuri tugged Victor off the bed and into the bathroom, still shedding glitter.

“You can clean me like a cat,” Victor purred against Yuuri’s ear, leaving more hot kiss marks across his jaw, “with your tongue.”

Groaning, Yuuri moved them closer to the shower, hands slipping as he switched on the water. Making certain the temperature was fine was suddenly an impossible task, when Victor was grinding very intentionally against him, hot and hard.

Turning back, Yuuri fumbled with Victor’s belt, unsure for what purpose he wanted to get his fiancé in the shower anymore. After pushing down Victor’s pants and tight black undergarments, Yuuri froze.

Froze, then began to laugh. He bit his lower lip to try to contain it, but it burst forth the second that Victor shifted forward and the bathroom lights reflected off the glitter.

“V-victor, ohmygod, how did you–” Hand up to cover his mouth, Yuuri couldn’t even bring his eyes up to Victor’s face. “How did you get-… you have… ohmygod.” It was hard to breathe.

“I thought you might like to kiss gold.”

If Yuuri laughed any harder, he might have fallen to the floor. “You-… you have glitter all over your dick.”

Absolutely, positively, completely covered in gold glitter.

“D-did you-…” Yuuri couldn’t even get his questions past his gasps for breath, laughing as he tipped up and kissed Victor’s lips. “You thought I’d wanna-… oh god, Vitya, you’re ridiculous.”

“Is that a no?”

“Get in the shower. I don’t know how much you’d enjoy me kissing gold, but maybe I can suck it for you.”

The Signs as Things Said in my Drama Class Pt. 2

Aries: “You’re dead. You’re fucking dead. All I want you to do, is die. Just die. Dead peOPLE DON’T LAUGH YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.”

“Alright, just chill–”

“I’LL CHILL WHEN YOU’RE DEAD.”

Taurus: “So…it’s gay?”

“It’s Shakespeare. When is it not gay?”

Gemini: “Hey Lexi, can I ask you something–ohmygod how did you even get up there?!”

*Lexi looks down from hanging off the banister of a costume loft* “I honestly have no idea.”

Cancer: “Stage management, more like anger management, am I right?”

“Benjamin, I’m going to take my thumb, and I’m going to shove it up your ass. I’m going to shove it so far up your ass that I will have a thumb war with your small intestine.”

Leo: “How’s directing going?”

“Accidentally killed half my cast yesterday.”

“So, we’re on schedule then?”

“Yeah.”

Virgo: “So Mercutio will enter stage left and…where’s Mercutio?”

*from far off* “I’M TAKING A DUMP.”

“Alright, so Mercutio is taking a dump, and then will enter stage left…”

Libra: “So, are you two, like, dating?

“Well, I don’t know. Technically? We played lesbians and sort of kept at it or whatever, but it could all just be for shits and giggles…? I don’t know, what do you think?

“We literally had sex last night.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Scorpio: “I FOUND THE BUTCHER KNIFE DILDO!”

Everyone: “Yay!”

Sagittarius: “What if there was, like, a jacket for your legs?”

“Like, pants?”

“No, listen, it would keep your legs warm and covered.”

“So pants.”

“No! It would be on your legs!”

“Pants. You’re describing pants, Eric.”

“…Goddammit.”

Capricorn: *practicing pick-up lines* “Hey girl, are you a theatre arts major? Cuz’ I find you attractive but my parents will never approve of you.”

Aquarius: “Like, have sex, but don’t have sex.”

Pisces: “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU NARCS!”

“Lexi, get off the ladder. We’re trying to program lights.”

“Program THIS!”

It’ll All Be Okay

Originally posted by bagelbarnes

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky recently broke up with his girlfriend and now its your job to pick up the pieces 

Words Count: 687, just a lil drabble

Genre: slightly angsty, nothing too bad

Warnings: Language

So my last fic actually got notes! thought i might as well do another one :) Also, I’m still super new so if y’all have fic ideas, don’t hesitate to request fics! Don’t forget to follow like and reblog, I’m loving all the notes<3

 not my gif but oHMYgOd how cute is he in this gif??


   You woke up to the sound of cupboards slamming down the hall. As you flip over onto your side, you look at your alarm clock and groan. It’s 2:30 in the morning. Who in the right god damn mind is slamming cupboards in the middle of the night??

You sit up and stretch out your back, ready to give whoever it was a piece of your mind. You stand up and mentally prepare what you’re going to say as you walk down the hall to the tower’s kitchen, but what you find there shocks you.

“Bucky?” you ask alarmed, “what the hell are you doing on the floor covered in corn flakes? I thought you were staying with Clair tonight?”

He looks up at you with eyes full of tears,”(y/n)..” 

Keep reading

Sooo BoruSara Fandom...

WARNING: SPOILERS AND PRO-BORUSARA. HATERS STFU

Regarding Boruto Episode 2…

No one here gonna spazz about

1.) How ChouChou teases Sarada to Boruto

ChouChou is not just any person, she’s Sarada’s BFF!!! Look at her face while teasing Sarada ohmygod hahaha How I wish she said “childhood sweethearts” instead :”>

2.) How the Uzumaki-Uchiha rivalry is starting to blossom rofl.

You know those shoujo mangas (ex: Special A, Last Game) where the male and female lead compete with each other then they’ll fall in love with each other eventually HAHAHAHAHA call me delusional but that’s how I see this. Hey I’m a BoruSara shipper so of course my shipper goggles is on :P

3.) How Sarada said “This is annoying” but watched Boruto’s fight anyway lmao

Yep, Sasuke’s tsundere genes check

4.) How Sarada clenched her fists and looked so concerned when Boruto was getting beaten by Iwabe

Of course BFF noticed right away! Damn I think ChouChou is the no.1 BoruSara shipper XD

5.) How Sarada looks so proud when Boruto won

Well everyone was happy but come on, earlier she said the fight was annoying (even Chouchou thought she was not interested with the fight haha) but after Boruto won she was relieved and looked so proud like “Yeah that’s my future husband right there shannaro!” XD

I MEAN COME ON GUYS. I CHECKED THE BORUSARA TAG BUT NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT THESE. ME ON THE OTHER HAND IS ALREADY DROWNING IN MY BORUSARA FEELS HAHAHAHA IF YOU GUYS HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODE YET THEN WATCH IT RIGHT NOW I TELL YOU! MY SHIPPER HEART CANT HANDLE IT ALONE HOLYSHIT THIS IS JUST THE 2ND EPISODE AND IM ALREADY DYING HOW MUCH MORE ON THE FOLLOWING ONES

STUDIO PIERROT IF YOU GUYS DON’T ANIMATE THE PART WHERE SARADA WAS STALKING BORUTO IM GONNA KILL YOU!!! KISHI DREW THAT, IT’S FUCKING CANON, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU FUCK THAT UP!!! (You guys would always fuck things up but I’m still hoping… come on faaaaaamm)

I’m sorry I just gotta let this out. It’s been a while since the last time I spazzed about an anime episode lol

P.S.

It still feels like yesterday when Genin-Naruto did this move to Kakashi when he was trying to get the bells :’)

Edit: Ok, thank you for correcting me, it was Sasuke who made this move. Man Im gettiing old rofl XD that makes me more happy tho hahaha Future-Father-In-Law move

Also Im sad Sasuke wasn’t in the opening. Glad he’s in the ending with Sakura of course <3 SASUSAKU MY NO.1 OTP! CA-TO-THE-FUCKING-NON

Alright back to reality (and finishing my next BoruSara fanart)

anonymous asked:

what's with you and that lowkey kic smut in your drabbles lately? not complaining but curious

ksafjadksfjdsakfa 

im just trying to practice my smut friend im soo awkward with it im just tryna be good at smut plz 😅😭😩

anonymous asked:

rant about Shirabu more because I also love him ❤️

you are testing me right…. here we go.

Originally posted by tobjo

JUST LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THIS NOSE CRUNCH.

Originally posted by slowxxx

WHAT EVEN. HE IS SO CUTE.

SO MANY TAPED FINGERS POOR BABY

MY

BAE

SON

WHO ALLOWED THIS FROWN???

Originally posted by tobjo

And have this gif again. Because it’s basically what I’ve waited for all year. My reason to live.

6

Edward Elric Appreciation Week | Day 7: Favourite short rant or “Edspressions”

➙  His DORKY AND ADORABLE BLUSH flustered expression
“Oh, geez! Why do alchemists have to be like this? […] You really are stupid. Half? I’ll give you A L L of it!“

anonymous asked:

Ohmygods, I don't know how much free time you have right now, but if you have not seen it yet, I highly suggest heading over to AO3 and reading "No Less Unthinkable" by rageprufrock. It's YoI, the writing is brilliant, and by the end of the fic I wanted to hug every character even more than I did watching the show!

my friend, I have already ruined my sleep schedule for that fic, and sighed over the wonder that is phichit’s snapchat, and laughed at pru for how valiantly the narrative strives to return to the innocent fields of filthy porn while getting itself constantly, deliciously bogged down in feelings.

and then I had an innocent question about logistics which devolved a chat room into discussing the reasons why you would never let a pet octopus watch you fuck. but that’s neither here nor there.

BUT YES. READ THIS FIC, EVERYONE. it’s a novel’s worth of anxiety and slow romance and PHICHIT BEING THE BEST and victor being the worst and yuuri being an idiot and also getting laid a lot. and it does that very pru thing where it kind of wraps you up and tumbles you along until you emerge out the other side feeling simultaneously like you’ve been mugged at knifepoint by emotion and like your soul has been healed in some pure, fundamental way.