ohgodimcrying

You only came out of your room to check if I was bringing food upstairs. You never fail to remind me not to. So I was cautious and only brought up juice in a bottle. But you still never fail to remind me not to spill. Well, no shit, Sherlock?! No, I didn’t know it was bad to spill; thank you for informing me.Like really?If I spill, I clean it up anyway. Nbd, so stfu. I’m not a child anymore.

The only time I see you are times like these and every time pisses me off. You do nothing more than piss me off. You’ve never been much of a father; hell, nothing would change if you left, besides financially. Nothing would change. I resent you, and you’re nothing more than blood. I’ve learned that blood relations are only that; family is chosen.

And ya know, that reminds me. Financially, you must be a wreck; I can’t tell if my money problems would get better or worse. You definitely stole from me. And then lied about it. You’re a terrible liar, btw. I never brought up the idea of you stealing, but you decided to defend yourself anyway. Isn’t that obvious… I want my money back. You rarely give me money, and honestly, it’s probably to pay me back for money you’ve stolen. I’m glad my mom got me a separate bank account, I now have no holes in my banking account. Though, now I see money missing from my room. Hmmm… Wth? Stealing from your child is pathetic, are you that low? You fool.

Rants like these make me waste my valuable time. And break my concentration. I’d be done prolly, with this assignment of my many left for the night. So fuck you for ruining my day more. I hate seeing you. You give me instantaneous hatred. I despise you; I loathe you. Why do you talk to me? We never talk about anything. You only talk about not bringing food, not spilling, what rank I am (though I thoroughly explain that it only changes twice a year and he knows my rank), or if I need money. Well, hell fucking yeah I know the first two, and you should stfu about my school life cause you’ve never once done anything for my school related so I sure learned to fend for myself in that, and obviously, like any other teen, I need money. But you go and steal from me, I’ve suspected it, but I never knew for sure. Now I do. Thanks a lot. Really.

My mom and I do not need you. I wish her and I had enough money to move out now. Just you wait, you’ll regret being such a repeated asshole to us. We’ve told you before that you do, and we will leave you alone if you continue to. Now it’s come down to the waiting game. Once I go to college, you’re nobody. Nobody at all. You’re not even trying to repent for it, though we’ve told you we will move out. I guess it doesn’t even matter. You’ll be damn sorry.

If anything, just leave me be. I have enough to worry about without having to worry about you going into one of your fits. I get so emotional when you do, and I hate it. I relearn how I have to prove everything I’ve seen wrong. Even writing this reminds me of my dream. I’ll be a damn good father, and prove that they actually exist.Please god, do not let me fail this one true dream, like I’ve failed others. If I become a shitty father, give me a sign, a revelation, and I shall change my ways. I want to see my son/daughter(s) run up to me, screaming “Daddy!” and I want it now. But too bad I’m too young. I’d bear children now if I could. I can’t fucking wait. My babies will be the most loved, and I challenge every father in the world with this. I will love them to no end, and my life will be centered on them. A real family is all I want. It’s the only thing I work for, yeah? Just give me this.