oh-tazer

dangerouslyaddictivethings  asked:

1988. Childhood friends, mutual pining after thousands years of denial. I love your fics so much. 10/10 recommend

Jonny first met Patrick in 1995, when Patrick smashed a handful of goldfish crackers into Jonny’s hair and giggled incessantly while Jonny tried to shake out the crumbs. His hands clenched at his sides, Jonny set his jaw and glared, but Patrick just smiled and asked if he wanted to play.

They built a castle together from dirt and sticks and Jonny put a worm down the back of Patrick’s shirt. They made a moat out of their juice boxes and didn’t even get scolded by their mothers, who planned a play-date as the sun went down.

Patrick’s life goal, it seemed, was to make Jonny laugh. Sometimes he was good at it - he’d make faces or put his underwear on over his pants - but sometimes he messed up. He’d call Jonny a name, or push him into a snow mound, and Jonny would cross his arms and plant himself until Patrick apologized.

Jonny started calling Patrick ‘Kaner’ after his first year in squirts hockey. Patrick was still too small to play and hated the nickname, until Jonny took him out on the ice behind his house and taught him how to steal a puck. After that, they were Kaner and Tazer, and they were on the same team the next year.

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Imagine #5 - Jonathan Toews

“I know you keep telling me I have nothing to worry about, but I’m still nervous,” you say and grip Jonathan’s hand a little tighter.

“But why? You’re just meeting some of my friends. Nothing serious,” Jonathan reassures you, keeping his eyes on the road, but lifting your interlaced hands to kiss the back of yours.

You smile before continuing. “It’s still nerve-wracking. What if they don’t like me? You and I haven’t been together that long, so it’s not like they’ll feel obligated to like me.”

“But they will like you, baby, and not just because they feel obligated to!” He traces small circles on your hands with his thumb.

You give a loud sigh. “If you say so.”

“You came around just in time,” he chuckles. “Because we’re here!” He lets go of your hand so he can park, pulling into a long driveway.

You look out your window at the house you just pulled up to - it’s too dark to see the whole thing, but there are lights spilling out of the windows, illuminating the front walkway.

“Just be yourself, [Y/N],” he tries to calm your nerves. He climbs out of the driver’s seat, walks around and opens your door, offering you his hand.

“Okay,” you take his hand, “here it goes.” You put a smile on your face.

“You’ll be fine,” he grabs your other hand, “I love you.” He pulls you into a kiss.

“I love you, too,” you smile, making your way to the front door with Jonathan.

Jonathan had barely knocked on the front door before it opened, the sounds of men cheering spilling out from inside the house.

“Hey, man! We were wondering when you two were gonna get here!” Corey Crawford steps aside, letting you inside.

“Hey,” Jonathan retorts, “we’re on time! Everyone else was early!”

Corey laughs, “whatever you say.” He starts walking further into the house. “Everyone is back here, come on.”

Jonathan gives you a reaffirming look and a quick hand squeeze before following Corey.

You’re led to a room towards the back of the house, and you hear it well before you see it. It’s filled with Jonathan’s teammates, all intensely watching a Cubs game.

“Tazer’s finally here,” Crawford announces as you all walk into the room.

Andrew Shaw turns around and smiles. “He brought his girlfriend, too!”

At that, all the other guys turn to see. They all stand and walk over to make introductions.

“Everyone, this is [Y/N],” Jonathan presents you. “[Y/N],” he turns to you, “this is everyone.”

“Hi,” you smile and give a small wave to the group.

All of them respond with a variety of greetings and smiles.

Hjalmarsson speaks up next. “Now, let’s get this tournament started!”

The group erupts with agreement.

“Tournament?” You whisper to Jonathan. You don’t remember him mentioning any tournament.

“Ping-pong, baby,” he replies, following after the team as they move towards an adjoining room, pulling you along.

You come into the room and, sure enough, there’s a ping-pong table set up, a scoreboard drawn up on a chalkboard, and some chairs for watching. There’s music playing and a couple small tables for drinks and snacks. “Wow, you went all-out,” you remark to Corey.

“Thanks,” he replies. “I felt like we could use a little bonding time, plus, we all had to meet Tazer’s girlfriend eventually, right?” He nudges you playfully.

You blush at hearing Jonathan’s friend call you his girlfriend. It was one thing for Jonathan to say it, but it felt different hearing it from someone else. It made you realize just how much you loved the title.

“Teams or singles?”  Shaw draws the room’s attention, clapping his hands together and rubbing them in anticipation.

Singles is the overwhelming response.

“Who’s up first?” Jonathan hollers, dropping your hand and stepping up to the table.

“Crawford and Darling! Goalie face-off,” Teuvo suggests from a seat he’d already claimed in the corner.

Everyone laughs and the games begin. One after the other, the match ups play, next in line playing the winner, narrowing the field as the night grows later, the group getting more inebriated as the rounds go.

You were knocked out fairly early, though you made a good showing and tried your best. You were actually doing pretty well, until Jonathan realized that a loss for you would guarantee his advancement. So, he came up behind you and tickled your sides, distracting you. You couldn’t focus and lost, taking it graciously and finding a seat next to Bickell, who’d also been eliminated.

You cheer from the sides as the team plays. You have a few drinks yourself as the time passes.

“Looks like it’s down to Shawzy and Tazer!” Crawford announces chalking up scores.

You can feel the excitement and tension in the room, this was the match up everyone had been waiting for and - you suspect - a few people had thrown their own games to ensure the captain’s advancement.

“Oh, no, Tazer!” Andrew teases from the other end of the table. “Can’t embarrass yourself in front of your girl!”

“Shut up and put your paddle where your mouth is!” Jonathan fires back.

“Stop flirting and get on with the game!” Rundblad shouts from a chair next to you. The two of you share a laugh.

“Keep your knickers on!” Jonathan counters, setting his paddle down and turning to you.

You stand and walk to him, putting your arms around his shoulders. You lean your face into his and look him in the eyes. “You can do this, I believe in you. I’ll be sitting right there, cheering you on. Make me proud and kick some ass!” You finish your pep talk by patting his shoulders and giving him a quick smack on the butt.

Jonathan surprises you by grabbing your waist before you can retake your seat. He spins you around and pulls you into a deep kiss, one hand pressing into the small of your back, the other cradling your head.

The guys whoop, holler, and whistle as your kiss draws out. “Get it, Tazer!” One of them cheers.

Finally, Jonathan breaks the kiss and whispers an “I love you” before turning back to the table. “[Y/N] is my good luck charm, so there’s no way you’ll beat me, Shaw!”

“Just watch me,” he responds, serving the ping-pong ball and starting the final match.

You watch intently as the ball bounces back and forth between the two paddles, groaning loudly whenever Andrew scores and cheering ecstatically when Jonathan does. The game is coming down to the last point and you’re on the edge of your seat. You’ve never been so invested in a tiny plastic ball before.

Shaw serves the ball for the winning point.

Jonathan almost misses it, earning a gasp from everyone, but chips it back. When Andrew returns it, he slaps it back furiously.

The little ball flies past Andrew’s paddle, just knicking it before going out.

“Yeah! I win! Captain does it again!” Jonathan yells victoriously as Andrew throws his hands up in defeat, a look of shock and sadness on his face.

“You did it, baby! I knew you could,” you congratulate your boyfriend, throwing your arms around him.

“All thanks to you,” he leans his forehead against yours, your noses touching. “I’m the luckiest man here, [Y/N], because you’re my good luck charm.”

“My hero,” you smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he smiles back before giving you a kiss.

“I would tell you to get a room,” Corey starts, the flurry of excitement having passed, “but if [Y/N] can give you that kind of luck, make sure you keep her, okay, Tazer? Because she’s gonna have to come to every game!”

You and Jonathan both laugh before sharing another kiss.


anonymous asked:

Kazer: Fake dating AU

“Come on, Jonny,” Kaner whines, shoulder-checking him. “Segs says it’s the best massage in Dallas.”

“We have Prylinski,” Jonny says matter-of-factly. “And he’s free.”

Kaner gives him a sour look. “This would be free, too. And something different.” 

“Okay, Kaner, look,” Jonny says, grabbing both of Patrick’s shoulders and turning him so he can stare him right in the eyes. “I’m not going to pretend to be your boyfriend for a free couples’ massage. That’s not something I’m going to do. Get it?”

Kaner pouts.

“Fine,” Jonny acquiesces. Kaner brightens so quickly that Jonny is almost blinded by it. He frowns in the face of it. “But I’m not going to hold your hand.”

///

Kaner’s fingers are twined with his when they walk into Massage Envy, and Tazer does his best to look happy about it. Patrick slaps the coupon down on the counter and gets a tight smile from the receptionist.

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I really want a Jonny World Cup of Hockey commercial, it would ideally go like this…

Reg:“So Jonathan..Jonny? Can I call you Jonny?”
Jonny:😐
Reg:“….okay. So the hockey world knows you as Captain Serious, are you going to bring that to the ice for Team Canada?”
Jonny:😐
Reg:“..I can’t do this! His eyes are too intense, too serious! -walks off-
Jonny: *slowly smiles at the camera*