oh-no-honey

Fairytail 513 Crack Conversations
  • Eileen: So dear, tell me how you've been. You've seemed a little standoffish since we last met.
  • Erza: Well mother not only did you abandon me while showing you could care less, you also tried to to kill me and my friends, so you must forgive me if I seem that way.
  • Eileen: oh honey, why do have you bro be so difficult?
  • Erza: I don't know mother, who do have to be such a cold- hearted bitch?
  • Eileen: .... Touché... Now if you excuse me I must go ponder this startling realization in my poetry. (Exits conservation in favour of skulking in corner scribbling wretched lines of prose to recite along the likes of " alas, my mere existence is like that of a sad clown because if life is so fair, why do roses have thorns?")
  • Erza: Dear God, what is that insane woman even rambling on about?! Her attempts at verse are absolutely horrid.
  • Carla (chiming in): Well to be fair, it's not like you Farr much better in the visual arts department.
  • Erza: Hey, I'll have you know that I'm- .... Dammit!

Lemme tell you about Torrid.

They just put in an entire store of it at the mall near me. I went in for the first time.

Never. In my entire life. Have I walked into a store, saw something, and they absolutely had my size available. Didn’t matter what it was, they had my size (and much larger). I’m used to going places, and knowing that only one or two shirt styles - both ugly- will be available in my size, and I’ll be lucky if I find them.

Torrid was an entire store of “Yes, Arella, IF YOU WANT IT, WE HAVE IT FOR YOU”.

I cried in Torrid, guys.

i cried.

The lady came up to me and put her arms around me and said “… oh honey, i know… it’s okay. You’d look beautiful in any of these.”


I bought three tops. They fit me perfectly. No puckering at the sizes, no digging into my upper arms. Just… they fit me. Me. 

i wonder if one day when Jack is just lounging about in the Haus on his Kindle, reading an article on WWI history, and Bitty is in the kitchen heating up leftovers, Holster and Ransom will walk in from class and see this and chirp “Dude, domestic much. Do you guys have your future kids’ names picked out too? lol” 

Bitty’s face will redden and he’ll roll his eyes, ready to retort that he’s barely even being domestic by microwaving last night’s dinner, but Jack won’t even look up as he says absently, still half-focused on his article, “Yeah. Charlotte if it’s a girl and Jaime if it’s a boy. Maybe Richard, too, but I have to ask Bits about that.”

Holster, Ransom, and Bitty will kind of just stand there, slack-jawed, until Jack looks up and he’s like, “Why is everyone looking at me what did I say.”  

The most interesting Yoosung calls I’ve got so far!!

(left-right up-down)

-Seven’s route day 7. Chopping onions make his eyes hot. ‘…Can I pour milk over my eyes??’ is a real dialogue.

-Casual route day 3. I can’t think about any excuse

-Jaehee’s route day 8. (My personal favorite because it’s so hilarious oh god) He struggled to get discounted pork in a market but he underestimated housewifes’ ahjumma-seizing-discounted-goods power. Grave mistake. 

He gave up and got mackarel instead.

-Seven’s route day 10, the infamous drunk Yoosung feat. Zen it’s so endearing I need more

  • MC: *walks into the kitchen* Is something burning?
  • Saeyoung: *leaning seductively against the counter* Just my desire for you.
  • MC: Saeyoung, the toaster is on fire.