oh-my-i-dont-even-know-what-to-start-with

this website pisses me off, everyones always like “space is so cool!” not its not, space is bullshit and i hate everything about it, i genuinely just saw the phrase “a black hole with a mass two billion times the mass of the sun” im so pissed off, shut the fuck up, dont patronise me scientists you know i dont know what the fuck that means, my sad little brain cant comprehend the mass of one sun let alone two fucking billion, i cant even count past 10 without getting confused and youre out here talking about the mass of two billion fucking suns, shut the hell up. and dont even get me started about black holes or the expansion of the universe because thats another two seperate rants entierly. oh and apparently theres a planet made of ice except the ice is also on fire??? yeah sure fucking thing, scientists. and this is just the shit i know about. i purposely dont research space because it pisses me off so much, god knows what other fucking bullshit exists out there that ive yet to read a fucking wikipedia article about. i dont think space is real, literally everything about space is so fucking fake, this is just some elaborate fucking practicle joke. two billion times the mass of the sun, fuck you

Period Story

So my mom gave me a pack of pads to put away because we had just gone out to buy more and my brother goes “oh can I use them.” And I say, “you dont even know what these are for you dummy.” And he says “yes I do I see it in the commercials about how girls put that in their you know what and then they get really happy and they start dancing and it looks really fun but you can only use them once every month. Man I wish I was a girl” And me and my mom have never been so done.

“its just a car”

“will it ever run?”

“why dont you sell it and buy a new car?”

(or anything in between)

This little car has been with me through the worst of times and the best of times and i know deep down in my heart ill never sell it even though the thought arises often enough.

In thinking about what all this car has helped me get through and has done for me, i realized, it has been a pivotal aspect of my life entirely. 

Lets start from the beginning as far as cars in general. 

My first real girlfriend i actually dated, you know, took on dates in my own car and paid for my own stuff and whatever, not just seeing eachother at school; was the first one to recognize that i would never put her before my car at the time. My 1989 Pontiac GTA Trans Am which i still own to this day. 

She would always passively mention how it meant more to me than she did. Thinking back now, she was absolutely correct. Whenever the car needed something as simple as a wash, i would drop everything and wash it or do whatever without even considering her. 

She stuck it out with me for what i recall as two years but who knows now. I blamed it on us just being young 16-18 year olds that grew apart.

Fast forward a few months later when i meet my next girlfreind.

We met at the end of senior year and i still had the trans am as my daily driver and occasional track car, as most do. 

 I actually asked her to be my girlfriend, formally, at Hellaflush 2011. It was real cute, whatever.

We went everywhere in my trans am as she didnt get a car until a while later, which i didnt mind. I loved driving us around. 

For my 18th birthday, my great grandmother gave me a rust bucket of a car to make my project, a 1966 impala. It wasnt anything special whatsoever and had rust all over from the harsh Chicago winters. 

So with that money i got from selling the impala, i drove up to victorville with my little sister who i was watching that day, i went and bought my Miata in June of 2012. My grandparents were in Hawaii at the time and i was living with them at the time so i went and bought this little car all on my own without anyones approval. 

So now, i had the Miata and the Trans Am. Another distraction from what really mattered, or should have mattered more to me at the time.

My girlfriend of now almost two years, im sure, was worried shed see even less of me and when she did see me, we were always working on my cars. 

She expressed her discontent multiple times but i carried on doing what i wanted. 

Things were amazing for the first two years of our relationship dont get me wrong but this is where it started to fall apart.

The miata got all sorts of parts thrown at it. Coilovers, wheels, seats, steering wheels; the basic shit every kid does to their first miata.

At some point though, my cars had integrated themselves into my mental being and controlled my moods and emotions more than my relationship did. This eventually proved to be detrimental to literlally everything.

Midway through what i remember as year three of our relationship, something was wrong between us. I cant recall what exactly but she wasnt really speaking to me this night and the miata broke down on me.

It had me in such a state of dissarray that i sought comfort from another girl since she wasnt texting me back. 

She eventually found out about this fact and became very alarmed and extremely unhappy with our whole relationship. Who wouldnt be though? it was natural and totally justified now that i think of it but at the time, i took it as the end of sorts. 

Fast forward to a little passed the point of year four with this relationship. The miata has become my daily driver as well as my project car and the trans am gets put in the garage and shit gets to the point where she cant stand to even text me let alone see me.

With the way i am, i need whomever im with, rather frequently for support and loving and i just wasnt feeling it anymore but i knew it was my fault and she didnt deserve my shit anymore, so like an idiot, i broke it off and cut all ties.

The following weeks turned me into a suicidal mess and i just neded someone to talk to and hold me so i, of course, start looking for someone new.

I found someone and quickly jumped into things. I got engaged three months in and was trying to make my dreams come true with someone that wasnt right for me but i thought we could make things work.

She moved in with me and eventually moved out somewhere around the 1 year mark and thats when things really got bad for us. 

In the end of that 2 year rollercoaster, i was left alone, again but this time i was left with a ring and memories of someone i imagined spending the rest of my life with. I had talked about married with the previous girlfriend but nothing serious ever materialized.

By this time, the Miata is a full on shit storm of money, blood, sweat and tears that you see above. Still by my side, this little broken and battered, black and blue mazda was still with me. Somehow, i hadnt pushed it away like everything and everyone else that i loved. 

Now, here i am, nearly in 2017, just as broken and battered as the miata.

For the first time in nearly 8 years, i am single for longer than i can remember but now, i have my little blue piece of shit, my trans am and my civic. I have a great job that pays amazing as a project coordinator, i have my own business (indigo garage), im making youtube videos and am constantly busy hustling to get what i want in life.

and im happy to say, ive almost got it. By summer of 2017, ill have my own house and my own shop space.

with that in mind, i want to sincerely apoogize to anyone that ive wronged in one way or another. I know theres quite a few for various reasons. 

just know, ive changed and im still growing and working on myself. not that youd care but it needs to be said. 

for the few thatve stuck with me through my trying times, i love you. i truly do.

to my new friends i make ive made and ones i will make or old friends i make amends with..know that i love you also.

-Mikey Indigo 

(sorry if theres spelling/grammatical errors, i started crying and couldnt really see to well)

So i was just watching episode 15 of Black Butler...

And then i saw some really, really derpy faces…

like, what is this?

r u ok sebastian?

what…

oh no were are your eyes?

oh god

what even?

no stop

NO

‘huhuhu yong mastr’

'oh fuk no’

BUT THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE BECAUSE ITS LIKE

'yehhhhh, i got a spoooooonn’

'SPOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN’

'hOLY SpOOOooOOOONNnnnnNNNNN’

'LoOK AT MY SPOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN’

So yeah, episode 15 guys, have fun re watching it because i know i wont be able to take it seriously anymore without thinking of spoons

2

“cotes has been a real drag lately.  used to be you couldn’t walk five feet without getting pickpocketed, i mean we used to have daily hangings!  now we’re lucky if anyone even gets put in the stocks for an hour, hmf.  course nobody around here to even hang anymore what with all the monsters and things killing them first.”

oh…no…that’s…terrible...” hildy pretends to be sympathetic while simultaneously hiding her excitement over the word monsters.

“yeah, have to admit i’m pretty shocked to see you’ve made it in here with all your limbs and stuff.  you lost or something?”

no i’ve just arrived actually and was looking for a place to stay, do you know of anywhere?”

“the stuffed goose inn’s up the road but the proprietor was found in bloody pieces just this morning so it’s probably not open right now.  hey you can try that old abandoned house just outside of town though.  some old witch used to live there and it’s most probably haunted but-”

sounds perfect!”

OH MY GOD SO MY FRENCH TEACHER TAUGHT ME THE WORD FOR “GRAVY FRIES” IN CLASS ONE DAY AND I REALLY LIKE THE FRENCH VERSION OF GRAVY FRIES SO WHEN I WAS AT A PICNIC TODAY FOR FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENTS I ASKED ONE OF THEM IF THEY LIKED GRAVY FRIES BUT THEY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT IN MY HEAD I WAS LIKE “OH WAIT I KNOW THE WORD FOR GRAVY FRIES” SO I SAID “DO YOU LIKE POUTAIN?” AND SHE GAVE ME THE MOST OFFENDED LOOK I HAVE EVER SEEN AND MY FRENCH FRIEND STARTED LAUGHING AT ME IT TURNS OUT THAT POUTAIN MEAN WHORES I ASKED A POOR LITTLE FRENCH GIRL IF SHE LIKED TO EAT WHORES

My brain seriously cannot process what my ears are hearing, all it knows is that it is hearing a fucking masterpiece. Julian, how? HOW DO YOU DO THIS?! The versatility crammed into one song is so fucking crazy good and dont even get me started on the lyrics. Oh Julian, Julian Julian Julian…you fucking talented, intelligent, honest, genuine human being, you have ruined everything I thought music could be, please never stop.

So my school decided it would be nice to have a tiny sort of school play version of Romeo and Juliet that only those with IB English have to take part in and guess what… that includes me, yaay -.- Anyways it starts in less than an hour and this is gonna be my first time on stage with actual lines to say since 1st grade elementary school.

being an artist my self i hate it when people who make really good art AND know they make good art fish for compliments by saying shit like “lol i think it looks like shit” or “oh its so ugly lol”  when they know people are gonna say good things about it,do you even know how much of a piece of shit artists ( and usually starting out artists,or ones that dont draw to well) feel seeing that shit,i remember when i started out art seeing shit like that made me wanna quit .somehow just somehow i kept my head in the game.so what im saying is,is that i just had beef ramen for dinner and it was good as fuck,merry mass of the christ

have i told u guys how my dad and brother constantly joke about me being a lesbian even though they think they know im straight but very recently they started doing it like…..questioningly. my dad was like “dont bring any boyfriends home lol” and my brother “ haha it wouldnt be a boyfriend” and normally i just laugh awkwardly without outright denying anything but my dad was all “oh but if it WERENT that would be OKAY!!!!! :DD” like girl…..what do u know………