oh you're gonna hate me for this

Stuff My Mom Has Told Me During Hamilton (Act 1)
  • Hamilton: "Why do they start out with the end? Spoilers!"
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: "How is telling someone you stalked and punched them a sure way to make friends?"
  • "Mom..."
  • "Who's the random French dude?"
  • "Lafayette."
  • "Where did he come from?"
  • "France, mom."
  • "Is this man having sex with horses?"
  • My Shot: "Didn't that guy sing this on Jimmy? The lyrics were different..."
  • The Story of Tonight: "I would not have told you about nights like that..."
  • The Schuyler Sisters: "That poor Peggy...she sounds adorable."
  • Farmer Refuted: "I have no clue what's being said..."
  • You'll Be Back: "Does this apply to what's going on now?"
  • Right Hand Man: "BURR JUST GOT REJECTED!"
  • A Winter's Ball: "With the ladies? Didn't you say he liked John?"
  • Helpless: "Girl this is gonna end bad for you..."
  • Satisfied: "How do you forget your name then - BAM! - now you remember?"
  • TSOT (Reprise): "They're cute when they're drunk."
  • Wait For It: "Wait - is everyone having an affair? You said Alex does right?"
  • "Mom just listen..."
  • "What does this have to do about Georgia?"
  • Stay Alive: "Did they eat horses asses?!"
  • Ten Duel Commandments: "How is General Lee here? Why do they hate him?"
  • "That's Charles Lee...you're thinking of Robert E. Lee."
  • "Oh."
  • Meet Me Inside: "Alexander you gonna get grounded!"
  • That Would Be Enough: "A little Hamilton sounds like a bad idea..."
  • Guns and Ships: "Damn he's fast."
  • History Has Its Eyes on You: "That's some deep shit..."
  • Battle of Yorktown: "I LIKE THIS ONE!"
  • "Mom please - "
  • "THEY WON!"
  • "I know they did mom."
  • What Comes Next: "Wait did he - oh my God. 'Awesome. Wow.' That's how I feel when your father talks about sports."
  • Dear Theodosia: "That's an awful name..."
  • "Mom!"
  • John Laurens Interlude (i had to): "Wait...what?"
  • Non-Stop: "How do you go from something so sad to this?! What the hell?!"
  • Brain: "How should I torture you today?"
  • Me: "Do you even have to? I've got some stuff to do that I actually want to get done"
  • Brain: "Hahaha, good one. So, let's see. Spontaneous depression, random headaches, absolutely no motivation and then feeling like a lazy piece of shit, feeling stressed even though you're not doing anything, self doubt..."
  • Me: "Oh great, sounds lovely"
  • Brain: "Oh this one's good too! Unexplainable dizziness​! You almost never had that one! We're gonna start with that"
  • Me: "You hate me, don't you"
  • Brain: "Yes"

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say your sense of humor and art style is so so wonderful and I think you are just an amazing person. You're so kind with your follower and the level of humor with which you respond to hate anons never ceases to make me laugh. Thank you so much keep up the great work.

Oh anon, thank you so much. You’re so sweet. <3 Don’t worry! I’m not gonna let some ramblings from a clearly deranged anon get me down, specially if they don’t make sense. The best way to respond to that is with humor. 

We’re all here to laugh, and make some art, and nobody’s trying to be ill-willed. I won’t allow a sliver of senseless hate to ruin all the genuine love and support we’ve managed to build here. 

I love the way in which you all have each others backs. We need more of that in general. Just genuine people with genuinely good hearts. For as long as I can hold a pen I’ll draw for that. 

-Red

THE SIGNS AS PHOEBE BUFFAY QUOTES
  • Aries: I have to go before I put your head through a wall.
  • Taurus: If you want to receive E-mails about my upcoming shows... please give me money so I can buy a computer.
  • Gemini: You love divorce so much that you're probably gonna marry it... and then it won't work out so you're gonna have to divorce it. I'm so drunk.
  • Cancer: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that!
  • Leo: You should see me when... oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
  • Virgo: One really does have a stick up one's ass. Doesn't one?
  • Libra: Oh you like that? You should hear my phone number.
  • Scorpio: Come on, Will. Take off your shirt and tell us.
  • Sagittarius: DAMN YOU REF, YOU BURN IN HELL!
  • Capricorn: I'm very wise, I know.
  • Aquarius: If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
  • Pisces: Your love is like a giant pigeon, crapping on my heart.
  • The Straights™: @ gays you're not allowed to exist
  • The Sraights™: you're gonna burn in hell
  • The Straights™: your lifestyle is a sin
  • The Gays: oh ok ig :/
  • The Gays: space is ours lolol
  • The Straights™: this is wrong and heterophobic you are judging me on my sexuality i can't chooSE TO BE STRAIGGKSL THE GAYS ARE TAKING OVER

god sometimes I miss the community of art school so much. I miss showing my work to people and getting actual critique instead of useless shit like ‘oh nice, looks good’ 

Battlecries.txt
  • Ash: Now you see me, now you don't...
  • Banshee: D-D-D-D-DROP THE BASS!
  • Ember: Things are about to get real warm and toasty~
  • Excalibur: TASTE MY KNIVES!
  • Frost: TASTE MY ROCKS, MATE!
  • Loki: TASTE MY PROFESSIONAL TROLLING SKILLS!
  • Mag: TIME TO PULL YOUR GUTS OUT! ...Did I really have to say that?
  • Nekros: IT'S ZAHMBIE TIME
  • Nova (chan): DESUUUUUUUUUUUU!
  • Nyx: Hey, let's all relax, do some deep meditation, be nice to each other, and not kill anyone... Lol jk.
  • Oberon: *Goat noises*
  • Rhino: CRY SOME MOOOOOOOOOORE
  • Saryn: Hey there, good lookin'... Let me torture you until you're bleeding out on the floor helpless. It would be so cute~
  • Trinity: Oh, hello there! Would you like some cupcakes? They're venom flavoured~
  • Valkyr: I hate battle cries.
  • Vauban: Son, you're about to get your ass murdered the good ol' tactical way.
  • Volt: Er... Um... Y-You're gonna die?
  • Zephyr: *She's mute, so she just flips them the bird- GODDAMNIT THAT PUN WAS AN ACCIDENT*
  • Molly: Well my sister was treated like shit in crawford and was killed so I killed the doctor. I'm upset about the fact my sister was killed by this group and this is why I don't like groups. I like you guys but I'm not going to stick around. Everything seems okay for now so I'll go back to being on my own. See ya.
  • Jane: MY SISTER IS DEAAAD. SARAH REMINDS ME OF MY SISTER. YOU REMIND ME OF MY SISTER. GOD I CAN'T STAND GROUPS BECAUSE THEY KILLED MY SISTER EVEN THOUGH I LEFT HER TO DIE WITHOUT TRYING TO SAVING HER. SARAH WAS GONNA DIE ANYWAY BECAUSE SHE ACTS LIKE MY DEAD SISTER. YOU'LL DIE BC YOU'RE ACTING LIKE NY DEAD SISTER. DID I MENTION MY SISTER IS DEAD???? OH HEY I'M GOING TO FUCK LUKE WHEN WALKERS ARE COMING AND DITCH YOU WHEN REBECCA ISN'T OKAY AND WE'RE NOT SAFE ALL BECAUSE I HATE GROUPS LMAO. OH BTW VERSATILITY ISN'T OVERRATED. VERSATILITY ISN'T OVERRATED. VERSATILITY ISN'T OVERRATED. VERSATILITY ISN'T OVERRATED.
That Time Panda Gave Nogla a Heart Attack
  • Nogla: Ok, ok reverse it! Reverse it, reverse it! Ok, ok. Stop! You fuck!
  • Panda: You told me to reverse it!
  • Nogla: Change it! Reverse it again!
  • Panda: That's regular!
  • Nogla: Ok, ok no no no! Put it through, put it through! Now put it back! I'm gonna get- *dies a painful death* You fuck!
  • *Panda cackles loudly*
  • Nogla: You're a fucking giant... stupid... fucking... bitch!
  • Panda: You have me so confused when you say, "Reverse it; now reverse it back." *through heavy laughter* Which one is it? Which one do you want?!
  • *scene skip*
  • Panda: Oh shit, that was funny.
  • Nogla: I fucking hate you.
friends sentence starters
  • "It's an electric drill. You get me, you kill me!"
  • "Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer."
  • "We were on a break!"
  • "Welcome to the real world, it sucks! You're gonna love it."
  • "How long do cats live? Like, assuming you don't throw them under a bus or something."
  • "Sure I peed on her. And if I had to, I'd pee on any one of you!"
  • "Well, when I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me."
  • "You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful."
  • "Paper…snow…..a ghost!!!"
  • "Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling."
  • "My motto is get out before they go down."
  • "I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
  • "And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid."
  • "How you doin'?"
  • "Just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!"
  • "My sister's gonna have my baby!"
  • "Here come the meat sweats."
  • "Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! Pivot. Pivot. Pivot."
  • "But they don't know that we know they know we know!"
  • "I'm being transferred to Yemen."
  • "[name] doesn't share food!"
  • "Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic."
  • "You're over me? When were you under me?"
  • "That's not even a word!"
  • "Until I was 25 I thought the response to 'I love you' meant 'oh crap'"
  • "Don't you point your pants at me!"
  • "I hate you and I love you!"
So I've always been curious about how all the battles went down in the old days...
  • Hashirama: TIME! That's it for today!
  • Madara: Huh? The sun's barely set!
  • Tobirama: Not all of us can see in the dark, dipshit.
  • Izuna: Hey! Don't talk that way to nii-san.
  • Tobirama: Don't start with me, brat.
  • Hashirama: Hey! Focus! Now, we'll call it a day.
  • Madara: Who died and made you referee?
  • Hashirama: Do you really want an answer to that?
  • *awkward silence*
  • Izuna: Sooooo... When do we come back?
  • Tobirama: Well, I've got an assignment for a daimyo tomorrow.
  • Madara: I've got one the day after tomorrow.
  • Izuna: So do I. Is three days from now good?
  • *everyone looks at Hashirama*
  • Hashirama: Huh? Oh, well in three days I have... *incoherent mumbling*
  • Tobirama: What was that, anija?
  • Hashirama: I have a... *incoherent mumbling*
  • Madara: Did you just say you have a DATE? You're gonna blow me I mean us off for a date? It better not be with that redhead!
  • Hashirama: What's wrong with Mito? You don't like her?
  • Madara: I like her just fine. I just hate that she's taking up so much of your time. All you ever do is talk about HER. Mito this and Mito that!
  • Hashirama: Madara, what is this really about?
  • Madara: I just feel like you prefer her over me now. It's not fair.
  • Hashirama: Madara, no one can ever take your place...
  • *Tobirama and Izuna watch in confusion*
  • Tobirama: Your brother... is quite possessive.
  • Izuna: Tell me about it.
  • Me: oH yEaH wE sHoULD TOTALLY ROCK OUT ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
  • Him: yeah man listen to some ACDC all That stuff
  • Me: HeCK YES
  • Him: I was joking
  • Me: ((well fuck you too))
2 Broke Girls giving me Maxoline feels.
  • Max: I French-fried my phone. What else can I do? I mean, really, it's technology's fault. It is turning us against each other! Caroline, I swear. I will never accidentally say anything about you again that I never meant.
  • Caroline: I have to get ready for work, it's fine.
  • Max: stop saying that, please stop saying it's fine! Fine doesn't mean fine. The scale goes: great, good, okay, not okay, I hate you, fine. If fine meant fine that'd be great, but it doesn't, okay?!
  • Caroline: You're right, It's not fine. It's sucks, I'm hurt. You're the one person I care most about.
  • Max: No, you are the one person I care most about!
  • Caroline: Well, right now, it doesn't feel that way.
  • Max: It has to feel that way! You are my best friend, Caroline. I love you! ... Oh my god, now I'm really gonna throw up.
  • Caroline: Max, is that the first time you said, 'I love you'?
  • Max: Don't look at me, I'm embarrassed... Now what do we do?
  • Caroline: so you're not sick of me?
  • Max: you are the only person in the entire world I am not sick of.
EXO CHATS EP. 3 (Midnight Snack//Hunhan)
  • (RoomateAU)
  • -KITCHEN 2am-
  • Sehun: *rubbing eyes* Luhan?
  • Luhan: Hm? Oh, Sehun-ah! *is chewing on ramyun* Why are you still up?
  • Sehun: I think I'm the one who should be asking you that
  • Luhan: I was hungry so I made myself some ramyun. Midnight snack ya feel?
  • Sehun: It's not even midnight.
  • Luhan: Whatever, whatever, there mustn't be time restriction for any type of food. As long as it's food, I've got plenty of time *continues eating*
  • Sehun: Smh. *shakes head* Hey, wait. Didn't you have two whole servings of samgyupsal yesterday? Why would you still be hungry?
  • Luhan: *rolls eyes* Do you even know me, Sehun?
  • Sehun: And yet you're still skinnier than a twig.
  • Luhan: I take care of my gorgeous body, of course.
  • Sehun: You've never been to a gym let alone stepped in one. Hell, I don't think you've ever even exercised!
  • Luhan: Haters gonna hate.
  • Sehun: Nobody says that anymore.
  • Luhan: My god, Oh Sehun. Last time I checked I was the older one, quit nagging my ass off and let me enjoy my bowl of ramyun in peace now will you?
  • Sehun: Fine, fine.
  • Luhan: *continues eating*
  • Sehun: *sits in silence across from Luhan*
  • Luhan: *mouth full of noodles* You know you can go back to bed right?
  • Sehun: That's disgusting Luhan. Swallow your food before speaking will you.
  • Luhan: And last time I checked, you're not my mother *rolls eyes but obliges*
  • Luhan: *repeats* You know you can go back to bed right?
  • Sehun: Yes.
  • Luhan: Go on ahead then.
  • Sehun: I'm good.
  • Luhan: What-
  • Sehun: I good right where I am *folds arms and leans back in chair*
  • Luhan: Okay?... *is suspicious* Suit yourself. *continues to eat happily and finally in peace* Mmm, so good~
  • Sehun: *watches Luhan and quietly giggles of himself*
  • Sehun: *huh...* Cute.
  • Luhan: What did you just-
  • Sehun: Fuck.