oh you surprised me

Dead cold hands.

Translation: Text 2 between Even and Isak - 01.12

Even: Did you like the song?

Isak: Huh?

Even: You’re not keeping up.

Isak: Oh, John Legend. You’ve stopped surprising me after Gabrielle.

Even: Hahaha. You know I’m only joking with you, right. It’s only bullshit that I like hip hop and stuff.

Isak: Then I’m afraid I’ll have to break up with you.

Even: Okay. Thanks for everything. It was fun while it lasted.

Isak: See you :(

Even: ❤️

Isak: ❤️

(Look at these two sarcastic little shits! ❤️❤️❤️! )


4x23 II 8x16

Me: It would be a six month contract and I lowered my minimums because you were referred from a close friend.

Client: We were thinking half that amount for three months so you can prove you’re worth it.

Me: No.

Client: (obviously surprised) Oh really? Hmmm.


The Hamilton Mixtape Track List (Out Dec. 2, 2016)

  1. No John Trumbull (Intro) – The Roots
  2. My Shot (Rise Up Remix) - The Roots featuring Busta Rhymes, Joell Ortiz & Nate Ruess
  3. Wrote My Way Out – Nas, Dave East, Lin-Manuel Miranda & Aloe Blacc
  4. Wait For It – Usher
  5. An Open Letter (Interlude) - Watsky featuring Shockwave
  6. Satisfied - Sia featuring Miguel & Queen Latifah
  7. Dear Theodosia - Regina Spektor featuring Ben Folds
  8. Valley Forge (Demo) - Lin-Manuel Miranda
  9. It’s Quiet Uptown – Kelly Clarkson
  10. That Would Be Enough – Alicia Keys
  11. Immigrants (We Get The Job Done) – K'naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC, Residente
  12. You’ll Be Back – Jimmy Fallon & The Roots
  13. Helpless –Ashanti featuring Ja Rule
  14. Take A Break (Interlude) - !llmind
  15. Say Yes To This - Jill Scott
  16. Congratulations - Dessa
  17. Burn – Andra Day
  18. Stay Alive (Interlude) - J.PERIOD & Stro Elliot
  19. Cabinet Battle 3 (Demo) - Lin-Manuel Miranda
  20. Washingtons By Your Side – Wiz Khalifa
  21. History Has Its Eyes On You – John Legend
  22. Who Tells Your Story - The Roots featuring Common & Ingrid Michaelson
  23. Dear Theodosia (Reprise) - Chance The Rapper & Francis and The Lights

Parent: “Kids these days! They’re always on their phones, read a book or go outside!”

Me: *stares at them unfazed* “I am reading, it just happens to be on my phone.”

Parent: *acts surprised* “Oh really now!? What are you reading?”


  • family member: what are you doing on that phone, huh?
  • me: reading
  • family member: *looks surprised* oh! what are you reading?
  • me: *looks down at the gay fluff/smut I've been reading for the past 2 days*
  • me: nothing
  • [When Yuuri was crying in episode 7]
  • Viktor: I'm not good with people crying in front of me. I don't know what I should do. Should I just kiss you or something?
  • [When Viktor was crying in episode 12]
  • Yuuri: Oh, I'm just surprised to see you cry.
  • Yuuri: ...Let me have a closer look.

“Now I just want you to know,” he said as he picked up his queue, “that I’m not the best at this game.” 

“I’m not so good either,” you laughed walking around the table, eying the rack on the table.

“Really?” he responded glancing at you. “Because from the looks of it, you know what you’re doing.”

“Oh,” you said waving him off. “No. This is like my third game in my life?” The lie came easy, and you twirled your hair through your fingers and leaned your head to one side trying to sell it. “I just play for fun sometimes, when my opponent is cute enough.”

Dean, or his name might have been Dan…smiled at you, and you couldn’t help but notice that his ears flushed a slight pink at your not-so-subtle flirtation. He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled bill.

“How about we make this more interesting? A twenty to whoever wins?” 

You eyed the money, catching the twinkle in his eye as he watched you, and you nodded once. “I could do twenty,” you agreed. 

“Alright!” he said happily, slapping the money on the edge of the pool table and he pointed at you as he walked towards the opposite side of the table. “Ladies first.” 




Imagine: Being the youngest member of the Hale family.

The hand of Stiles Stilinski came flying from behind you to slam your locker door shut. You turned around and stared at the boy who rudely interrupted your search for your lunch money.

“You know Y/N, I could almost bet that you were a Hale!” he burst out as his brows hang low on his forehead. You clutched your books against your chest and raised your eyebrows in surprise. “Oh really? What exposed me?” you asked sarcastically.

Scott stood behind the winded up boy and tried to calm him down by grabbing his shoulder, but Stiles shrugged him off. He rolled his eyes before answering. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the exaggerated eye roll you all Hales seem to reserve for me.”

“We don’t roll our eyes at you.” you explained and gave him just that excessive eye roll that Derek and Cora use to make to you without even thinking about it. 

Stiles boiled up and pointed heatedly against you.  “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” he spits as you flashed a teasing smirk towards Scott.

Credit to gif owners. ♥

Short Moana Sentence Starters

change pronouns as necessary
Long list can be found here

  • ❝ The chicken lives! ❞
  • ❝ I know it’s a lot- the hair, the bod! ❞
  • ❝ There is no darkness. There are no monsters. ❞
  • ❝ Sometimes our strengths lie beneath the surface. ❞
  • ❝ Whatever just happened… blame it on the pig. ❞
  • ❝ When you use a bird to write with, it’s called tweeting. ❞
  • ❝ If you wear a dress and have an animal sidekick, you’re a princess. ❞
  • ❝ If you start singing, I’m going to throw up. ❞
  • ❝ Hey! Hey! Did you like the song? ❞
  • ❝ You can’t run from me. Oh you can. You keep surprising me. ❞
  • ❝ Are you just trying to get me to talk about myself? Because if you are…I WILL GLAD DO SO! In song form! ❞  
  • ❝ Why aren’t you trying talking me out of it? ❞
  • ❝ I am the village crazy lady. That is my job. ❞
  • ❝ What can I say except you’re welcome? ❞
  • ❝ Well, it’s nice to see that humans never change. ❞
  • ❝ So what I believe what you’re trying to say is ‘thank you’. ❞
  • ❝ Congratulations on not being dead. You surprised me. ❞
  • ❝ I can’t leave you. ❞
  • ❝ There is no way you would go where I won’t be with you. ❞
  • ❝ It’s just me and you, and I want to help, but I can’t if you won’t let me. ❞
  • ❝ It’s not your fault. I never should have put so much on your shoulders. ❞
  • ❝ If you are ready to go home. I will be with you. ❞
  • ❝ Why do you hesitate? ❞
  • ❝ If there’s something you want to tell me, just tell me. Is there something you want to tell me? ❞
  • ❝ Is there something you want to hear? ❞
  • ❝  I will carry you here in my heart. ❞
  • ❝ They have stolen the heart from inside you, but this does not define you. ❞
Conversation With My Daughter

Last night, before heading out for date night with my girlfriend, I was kissing my wife, and 2 kids goodbye. My 4 year old daughter was sitting on the couch next to my wife. Here is the conversation that ensued:

D: Where are you going daddy?
Me: I’m going over to R’s
D: Oh… To her house?
Me: Yes
D: Are you just staying at her house?
Me: Yes, I think so, but we might go out for a walk or a drink
D: Oh… Are you going to kiss her?
Me: (Smiling) Yes, probably. Is that okay?
D: (With her most serious face) No! You shouldn’t kiss her, daddy.
Me: (Surprised) Oh, why not?
D: Because if she has a cold, then you’ll get her cold, and I don’t want you to get a cold, because then we’ll all get colds when we kiss you.
Me: (Smiling even more while glancing over at my wife) Don’t worry babesy, Remember, you just saw R yesterday, and she didn’t have a cold. We’ll all be fine.
D: (Giggling) Ok, daddy, then you can kiss her.
Me: Ok, thanks babe. 


road to forgiveness - Joji

Small request that consisted of just sex with angry Joji (so it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, I warn you, this might be a little unhealthy so please don’t throw stones at me). I hope I did it right, seems kind of exaggerated to me but oh well…


“Why are you ignoring me?!”

You stop in your tracks, surprised to see Joji here. Your eyes are wide and you feel the anger rising back up into you again. You had tried to forget what has happened in the morning between the two of you, when Joji has snapped at you for whatever reason; but seems like he had the brilliant idea to haunt you. It wasn’t your fault that he has stayed up all night and hadn’t slept a minute; you didn’t put him to it! In fact, you told him to stop and get some rest, but he only shooed you away rudely. This has happened so many times that you honestly got sick of his shit—so you left him alone. Joji was to blame for his mood and he had no right to yell at you if you slightly burnt his eggs in the morning. You wanted to forgive him, but instead, you had had enough. ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU ALL DAY!’ and with that, you left for school.

Keep reading