oh you perfect little piece of shit

You have to hear (read) this!

So my mom and I were at the police station today.. and I saw a girl dressed as Asuna and her mom. They were busy fighting and this is what I heard:
“You had to assault him?!” The mom yelled.
“Yeah, he said Yurio is stupid” (Soo… much sass.)
“But you had to hit him?!”
“Well, I couldn’t just wait for Sebastian to do it!”
“Sebastian can’t help you!”
“Because YOU don’t want me to summon him!!”
“I will not have my daughter hanging out with demon butlers!”
There was a moment of silence. Where the had like a staring contest.
Then the mother sighed and asked
“But why did you have to hit him?”
“That’s what Eren would’ve done.”
The mom just sighs and opens her bag. And she takes out a piece of paper and starts to unfold it.
The girl looks at her mom in horror.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Oh, I dare. He’s the only one you’ll listen to!”
The mom holds up a picture of Levi and says in the most perfect Levi-voice
“Go to the car you little shit! And let this happen again, brat! I swear!”
And she just threw her hands in the air and strormed out. We made eye contact for a brief moment and I Attack on Titan saluted her and she saluted back. Her mother yelled at me to not encourage her and my own mother hit me for ‘throwing oil on flames’. (WTF mom?) BUT IT WAS AWESOME!!

“What happened?” Jaal asks, barely keeping the question from becoming a demand.

“Oh, well, long story short, our date night got cancelled because Peebee decided my time was better spent in a fucking volcano.”

What.” 

(Jaal/Gemma Ryder, spoilers for both Jaal and Peebee’s loyalty missions, as well as the Jaal romance.) 

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oh shit

OH SHIT

Let me tell you about Ash Crimson.

This gorgeous piece of ass is Ash Crimson. He’s the protagonist–

YES. PROTAGONIST of his own saga in the King of Fighters franchise.

This motherfucker is the most manipulative, snarky, sarcastic little shit to have ever walked on the planet and he is pure perfection.

Hell, the creators even wanted to make him with the intent of “an attractive villian”. AND THEY DID A GREAT JOB.

This little bastard is also French. FRENCH. And guess when his birthday is? VALENTINE"S DAY. THAT JUST SCREAMS ROMANTIC LITTLE SHIT.

His hobbies include nail art. NAIL ART. THIS BASTARD TAKES PRIDE IN HIS NAILS. AND HIS FAVORITE FOODS ARE SWEETS.

And you know what? He controls green fire. GREEN. FIRE.

This dude is a pretty boy badass, and every unfortunate soul who has to fight him ends up straight up PISSED. Not only is he pretty, but he’s overpowered too.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAD, YOUR PETS, AND YOUR WHOLE DAMN EXTENDED FAMILY!

BEWARE ASH CRIMSON. HE"S GONNA FUCK. YOU. UP.

Solangelo as Childhood Best Friends turned Lovers
  • They have their very own Secret Handshakes
  • Their fights probably involves breaking each other’s favorite crayola in half and threatening to find new best friends.
  • They would go back to being inseperable before the day ends
  • Will is a literal ball of happiness and laughter who brightens up everyone’s shitty days but during the rare occasions that he feels down, Nico’s the only one who can make him smile
  • Sleepovers and camping trips with their families.
  • Nico begging his parents to be put in the same daycare class as Will
  • Both refusing nap time in class unless they sleep besides each other
  • Will is this messy little guy when it comes to coloring books and doesn’t care if the leaves were orange or the trees are blue or the clouds are pink. 
  • Nico was the exact opposite. He never colors outside the lines and had thrown a tantrum that one time he accidentally did and refused to continue his work until the teacher gave him a new piece to color.
  • Their class had a pet goldfish that Will loves taking care of and feeding until one day when he overfed it too much fish food and it died. That had been the first time Nico ever saw him cry. That and when he admitted to Nico he was gay and afraid Nico won’t talk to him anymore.
  • Nico gave him a playful punch. Called him a dork and told Will it’s okay if he’s gay
  • And that he should stop crying because it doesn’t suit him
  • Nico admitted being gay himself two months later when Will caught him staring at Percy Jackson’s abs
  • Nico is a stubborn little kid who won’t take his medications when he’s sick unless Will drops by dressed up as a doctor with scrubs two sizes too big and his dad’s stethoscope dangling around his neck

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OKAY! THERE IS JUST ONE EPISODE OF LIFE IS STRANGE AND THIS GAME IS ALREADY FUCKING ME UP!
Max is one of the best female character leads I ever fucking saw. She is so fucking adorable and a character you can identify with. She is a shy geek with normal teenager problems and I JUST WANT TO HUG THE SHIT OUT OF THIS ADORABLE LITTLE FREAK!
And Chloe…oh Chloe…I have a big crush on this hot punk ass! She is so freaking cool and awesome and Oh my god, please, let me kiss you! But I feel so sorry for her! This poor little baby…
And now Warren. My second crush in this game. He is like a fluffy marshmallow, kawaii piece of shit. And he is so fucking brave and I almost cried when Max didn’t hugged him. This sad puppy face he made for just a second… My precious little child, please, let me hug you baby.
So, what can I say? I don’t know. This Game is awesome and the characters are just perfect and I already have two babys I just want to kiss. I want to see more! MORE! More of this cute gayness of Chloe and Max, more of this dorky warren… Oh please, give it to me!

anonymous asked:

Idk if you're ever taking prompts but my weakness is emma and killian domesticity and emma calling hook 'babe' or 'baby' when they're alone. 😍❤

I’m always taking prompts and I’m always here for domestic!CS which is why this turned into one of my longest one-shots xD (also domesticity and ‘baby’ in Addiction ;)

So here: ‘babe’ + ‘morning cuddles’ for @katniss-annabeth-luna-jones + ‘Emma has cold hands’ for @shady199100

Flashes of Domesticity; ~ 4, 600 words; also on FF.net

There are some things you just don’t learn about a person until you are living with them.

////

Killian has a rather sizeable sweet tooth.

He is often torn, wondering if it’s a blessing or a curse how fast Emma caught wind of that little tidbit.

On the one hand, she hardly ever comes back from the shop without some sugary treats. On the other, she is quick to hide any and all sweets the second he gets on her nerves.

And then there are those moments when he takes the initiative to procure his own treats for the Netflix night she has announced. Those usually end with Emma standing in front of the couch, looking down at him and his loot and shaking her head. Much like she is doing right now.

“Do you realize that those don’t even resemble food?” she sighs but hits play on her laptop and joins him on the couch anyway, giving the packet of gummy bears in his lap an evil look.

“But they are delightful, love! True, taste-wise, they are no honey cake but they are rather amusing, don’t you think?” he defends, grabbing a gummy bear by the head and proceeding to suck gleefully on its legs.

Emma is admittedly distracted by the way his lips wrap around the brightly orange candy but not enough to miss his comment. She likes to think that she has grown rather good at not missing a thing where Killian is concerned. He tends to share personal details unconsciously, while if directly asked, he’d probably shrug and turn the tables on her. So Emma has grown rather good at paying attention.

“Honey cake?”

“Hmm?” Killian’s eyes are already glued to the screen and she has to snatch the bag of gummy bears from his lap to get his attention.

She does make sure to replace it with her feet so as to halt his protest.

“What’s a honey cake, babe?” she asks, popping a red gummy in her own mouth.

“Oh,” Killian scrunches his eyebrows like he usually does when he realizes that a memory has popped up randomly, trying to recapture it.

Emma waits patiently. She can’t even picture what having to sort through 300+ years of memories at the drop of a hat is like but she can be patient with her pirate.

(Patient to a fault, if you ask her mother.)

“I think… maybe my mother made it when I was a wee lad but…” he seems lost in the hazy memory for awhile, his fingers absent-mindedly starting to rub her feet. “I can’t quite recall…”

Emma shuffles a little on the couch, bending her knees so she can press herself closer to his side.

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ok but no im totally serious about this

i have boobs. i am in possession of substantial boobage. and the stuff that clothing companies seem to sell never caters to me??? look at this shit

ooh yes cute bralette!! until you put it on and then realize the weight of your sandbags is going to yank it below your swimtrunks like a group of high 50 year olds at a nickelback concert (don’t ask)

oh ok here we go! a one piece! super flattering and ok hold on there are no straps we are GOING TO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM HERE

and then it just gets insulting

“oh look at this one!!!” you say as you come across that perfect looking little blue top. looks modest enough- until you adjust the straps and realize this shit is going to look worse then a botched attempt at shibari when you take it off at the end of the day. PLUS- HOLY PAIN BATMAN!! You thought SUNBURNS WERE BAD?? Those straps are going to feel like the pain of 1000 SUNS the entire time you manage to squeeze your sweater puppies in there

I don’t even know how this “keyhole” bullshit is supposed to work. it looks like more pain and accidental flashing at a public beach. also- boobs are not supposed to be under your armpits?? what?? and even if you tighten the straps to full capacity and head on into the fray of public beachgoers there is NO SUPPORT under that flimsy string. have fun trying to swim

i am just SO incredibly tired of trying to squeeze into these flimsy scraps of fabric every year in order to spend some time in the water OR spending $50+ on some crappy ugly one piece that makes me look like a wet eggplant

Teach Me Mr. Hemmings Part Two (Luke Hemmings Smut)

WARNING. SMUT. WARNING. SMUT. Alright so a lot of people wanted a part 2 so here it is. Tell me what you guys think by messaging me. :) 

 Click here for Teach Me Mr. Hemmings Part One. 

 After your encounter with your teacher you decided that it was probably best if you got your teacher switched if you guys were going out, but you hadn’t done that yet. A couple nights after what had happened you decided to call him and tell him that you wanted to go out. So here you are getting ready to go out on your date and your best friend helping you along. “I still can’t believe this happened.” She gawked. “Yeah I know… Not to mention it’s illegal. I mean he could lose his job and I might have to switch schools not just switch my class.” You huffed brushing out your wet hair. “Don’t switch class you’ll leave me alone!” You rolled your eyes. “ really? I don’t want Luke to lose his job! I mean come on Emma.” She huffed before speaking “ you have a point. I’m sorry y/n. And don’t call him Luke that’s weird for me.” You guys started laughing. “Well saying Mr. Hemmings is weird for me too! I had sex with the guy and am going on a date with him!” You guys burst into laugher. I mean it’s not like I’m underage so he couldn’t go to jail and the worst thing that could happen is he would have to get a new teaching job. “Alright my fashion stylist go pick out my outfit."you told your best friend. Emma had always been the one to be good at choosing outfits shoes and accessories while you were good at hair and makeup. You were kind of nervous while you were doing your makeup because you don’t really go on dates. "What time is he picking you up y/n?” Emma asked scrolling through your closet. “7:00” you said slowly trying to concentrate on your perfectly winged eyeliner. “You better hurry girlfriend. It’s 6:25 now.” Oh shit. You thought. You began to rush around a little bit fumbling for your makeup but still managing to look good. Your final touch for your makeup was your signature dark red lip stain. You always knew you could pull it off and it drove guys crazy. “Ah ha! I have the perfect outfit!” Emma screamed. “That’s great. Hold on let me do my hair then I’ll check it out!” You yelled back. You quickly dried your hair straight and fixed up a few pieces that weren’t straight with your straightener. You looked at yourself in the mirror impressed at what you see them you realized you were only wearing a bathrobe. “Fuck.” You mumbled under your breath running to your bedroom to find Emma. “You hero.” You told her as she held up the dress and shoes in each of her hands. She had my coral colored Qupid’s Women Zane heels in her right hand. And in her left she had a short flown halter dress. It had black on top with a hole in the middle of the chest and where it started flowing was a creme white. In the middle it had black gems identical to the the gems on the collar of the dress. On your bed she had laid out accessories. She had a hair bow that You quickly snatched and put in your hair pulling your bangs back. She had out gold hoop earrings, a necklace that was a camera and a gold charm bracelet with a heart on it. “And here are your stocking my love” she said and smiled. “Oh I won’t be needing stockings.” You said and winked at her. Her jaw just dropped and she walked out of the door. (click here to see the date night outfit) You put you dress on first then the heels then the accessories. You felt like You were missing something. Oh yeah! You went into your closet and got your coach purse that was hanging up. “Sweet” You mumbled to yourself. You then sprayed your pure seduction perfume from Victoria’s Secret on. And walked out the door. Emma pried herself off the wall and looked at you. “Damn girl. He won’t be able to keep his hands off of you.” She said. You laughed and playfully hit her. That’s the point, right? You thought to yourself. You heard the doorbell ring and got butterflies in your stomach already. You walked down the stairs as Emma tagged along and opened the door. Luke looked you up and down. “Damn you look h-” he stopped as soon as he noticed one of his students. “Err. Hi Emma.” He said. You put your face in your hands. “I’m sorry. She’s my best friend and she won’t tell anyone.” You quickly said. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He said smiling. “Alright Emma. I’ll see you tomorrow make sure you lock the door when you leave! Thanks!” You shouted walking out the door. “Alright. Well now I can say, you look hot as fuck.” Luke said. “I can say you don’t look too bad yourself.” You said putting your arms around his shoulders leaning in for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you. “Let’s save this for later, we have reservations.” He said throwing his keys in the air and catching them. We walked to the car and he opened the door for you then quickly ran to the other side starting the car and driving away. 

 At the restaurant 

 "Reservation for Hemmings" Luke said to the hostess. You saw the girl check him out for about 10 seconds so You went up to him and wrapped your arms around him and kissed him on the cheek. She scoffed and walked away. You just raised my eyebrow and shot her that ‘back off’ look. “What was that y/n?” Luke asked. “That was me marking that you are unavailable.” You told him. He just laughed at your response and kissed you on the forehead. The blonde slut came back and directed you guys to your table. This time she didn’t even look at your Luke. After you guys ordered you just talked. “Alright. Well y/n. We need to talk before we start this whole dating thing.” You nodded your head agreeing with him. “I’m switching my English teacher Monday and I think we should go to the board of education and tell a little lie and say we were dating before you got hired at the school and you didn’t know that I went here.” He nodded. “True. We could do that. That had happened to one of my teachers before and that’s what they told the Board.” He said agreeing with you. You reached over the table and put your hand on Luke’s. “I don’t want to hide my relationship Luke. I really don’t.” You told him. “Neither do I and we won’t.” He said smiling.

 After dinner

 You were in the car and you guys were kind of silent. It wasn’t an awkward silence. It was more of a comfortable one. “So do you want to maybe come back to my house and you know..” He asked. “You know the answer.” You said in the most seductive voice possible. When you arrived to Luke’s house he pushed you up against the door and started kissing you full force. You moaned into the kiss. You started to unbutton Luke’s shirt without breaking the kiss. Button after button after button. It seems to get harder as you got lower. When you were done unbuttoning his shirt he left it on but picked you up and carried you upstairs to his bedroom. When you got to his bedroom he threw you down onto the bed and took his shirt off. You smirked and bit your lip. “Take that dress off.” He demanded. You slid it over your head and onto the floor leaving you in your dark red laced up bra with a matching thong. “Lace. Y/n what did I tell you.” He said in a deep husky voice as he got closer to your face. You pressed your lips to him and flipped him over so you were now on top of him. You started kissing down his neck then down his abs and finally reached his pant line you slowly started to unzip his pants and take them off. You slid down to your knees and started sucking his dick. He wrapped his hands through your hair and started moaning. You kept pumping and pumping till he finally cam. He pulled you up and threw you back on the bed. He started kissing down your thighs. He reached a couple sweet spots causing you to moan. “Luke.” You moaned. He got closer and closer to your vagina which made you go crazier the closer he got. He started licking and sucking on your clit and at the same time was fingering you. The intensity made you moan so loud that the neighbors could probably hear. You hit your climax and Luke stopped, pulling out a condom from the drawer next to you. He shoved his hard dick inside you and thrusted harder and harder each time making you scream louder each time. “Oh my fuck Luke.” You screamed hitting your climax at the same time he hit his. He pulled out and took the condom off his penis and laid next to you. “Holy fuck y/n.” He said and kissed you. You both laid there for a little while cuddled next to each other watching a couple movies before falling asleep.

Yehet Prince's Birthday!!

Basically my reaction when I first saw Sehunie~ 

LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS YOUNG MAN!

AWW!!! KAWAIII!!

OH~ Sexy~

Oh! NO DON’T BEAT SEHUN! NO! U STUPID 

He’s so cute! his reaction to lay picking him for his prepo game partner xD

OMFG. look at his perfect fact. 

Sehun’s super power, Wind

Dancing Genius

OMFG! NO! NO!

HIS FACIAL FEATURES SO BEAUTIFUL~

HE’S SO PRECIOUS!

Wolf pose~

LOOK AT THOSE ARMS. O MY FUCKING GOODNESS

this sexy hoe!

Thank you camera man~ Hello view!

His skin is just AFGSK!

Prince Oh 

Cool Jamin’

V Sign Cutie!

MID photo shoot! Your concept is too cute!

THAT BODY THO!

I love you! Look at that laugh so beautiful!

His ADORABLE ENGRISH!

No!  Go away!

*Flips tables*

We all know baby~

YOUR VOICE! BOY YOU NEED MORE LINES!

Oh Omo. U lil piece of.

That  Aeygo! Shit

YEHET!

*He’s thinking about me!*

HE’S PERFECT IN EVERY ANGLE!

He’s complementing him self, chanyoelie’s cam!

Being Perfect during Shinee’s Everybody~

AWW!!

WIND!

Our adorable Maknae!

You little cutie!

OHORAT! 

*dies*

Giyomi song~ Aww! Kiyo!

LORD JESUS *HEART ATTACK*

Debut Era Sehunie~

JUST LOOK AT THIS BOY 

POKER FACE!

Stap it!

His Mv solo’s!

ooooooooooOOOO!!

THRUST MASTER!!

BABY DON’T CRY!!

I WANT TO JUMP YOU!

PUT THAT TONGUE BACK INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

STOP WITH THE TONGUE! LAWD!

NO! STOP! 

YA! SEHUNA!

SEHUN!! 

*Ovaries explode*

THT SIDE PROFILE THO!

OHO HOHO OHO~

I WANNA SEE MORE!

YOU PURE PIECE OF-

RAPING BABY!

BUING BUING~

Dumb Maknae! 

GRRRRRRR~~~ 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEHUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAY BOO BOO!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOX 

Second time lucky, thank you piece of shit mac, but i have finally made it to a whooping 150 followers (woah!) Thanks for all of you who have followed my blog despite how sporadic it can be. Oh. Don’t mind Ibiki by the way, she’s here for good sport. Heres a bunch of hella sweet blogs and a little art giveaway for y’all!

People who have really helped me out and I cherish deeply:

bxrnwiththesun | unluckyteaser | guitarbreathe | mikantsumikiwi | ultimate-impostxr | unpredictable-anomaly | amireallygoingtousethissite | punyauthority

People I have interacted with, even slightly, who have amazing muses and are perfect themselves too!:

food-and-guns | inretivit | rubyobscura | heavysetdetective​ | programmingandmass | plushpixels | motionpersxnifiedalpha | officialfuyuhiko | ultimatebabygangsta | shsl-fat-and-fortune | unlxckster | squishysoldier | corpori-adiecta

People with amazing muses who i don’t get to interact with but would love to:

cowardlylxon | hajimemail | shslcarfucker | pumpkin-dorklord | shslcameragal | rules-and-tears | airheaded-donuts | bionicgamer | colorlessutopia | deckofdespair | idolizedchub | islandmodefuyuhiko | despairprogrammer | lunarcravings | purabbit | pridexreserve | despxir–drxgon | soradanomiii | apocalypticgenocide | chubbymuses | thehopefulthief | twinphantomthieves | kirawako | king-zetsubou | robottoxkiseki | xajime | sanity-among-despair | neurologiic | bloodysenseofhumor | chxakinanami | himedxre | thatonearsehole | wheelchair-witch | neuro-snarker | albiiino | leon-kuwata-kun | codingdespair | gamblingroyale | taisoobu | despairandscissors | outclasser | radiantvillageofflowers | togamiconglomerate | powerfrommyfourdarkdevas | thequeenofdespair | hxnata-kun | corruptedxclever | mechxnica | sanity-among-despair | shsltxlents | shsl-disciplinarian | punkofrockballs

Sorry if I didn’t include you on the list but you’re all equally n i c e. Extra apologies if you were on the list before but my mac decided to crash and i forgot you were on there (you can kick my mac for this) Now on for the art give away!

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