oh you awkward babies

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The Best Baked Potato (Sirius Black)

what a title

This is after The Best Ass (2) and after The Best Liar (1)


“I may have a secret.” Sirius draws his fingertip down your temple and curves it over your jaw. The movement is way too loving and you’re stupidly euphoric.

You’re not this girl, you’re not a goofy goose chasing the cutest drake that pays attention to you. Do geese have drakes? Or is that just ducks?

“What kind of secret?” You ask, despite the subtle foreboding in your stomach.

“I’ll tell you later, I just wanted to forewarn you and ruin this perfect moment,” he says, regret flashing in his eyes and you can’t help narrowing your own.

“Did you just chicken out?”

“Oh, hells yeah, baby.” He laughs, utterly awkward and self-deprecating and you’re unsure why this makes your heart surge. Because he’s suddenly human with emotions other than laughter and lust?

Probably not.

“I’ll let it slide because this moment is pretty damn cute but you’re going to tell me later. You can’t just leave that dangling.” Your fingers curve over the nape of his neck, pulling his lips to yours and he sighs contentedly.


It has been five weeks since a dog attacked you in an alley.

It has been four weeks since Sirius asked you out for the second time. And that party.

It has been three weeks since Sirius held you by the fire and Potter cracked jokes about your ass.

It has been two weeks since you decided that maybe what you’re doing with Sirius is dating.

It has been one week since you last saw your black dog friend at Hogsmeade.


“Surprise!” Sirius shouts, leaping out from the alley and you stare, unmoved. “Should I have gone with boo?”

“You could’ve gone with bye and then I would’ve really jumped,” you say and he brightens, “for joy.”

His face falls and James’s trademark laugh comes from the alley behind him. “You’re so much better at comebacks than Sirius, why aren’t you my best friend?”

“Because you’re not cool enough to be my friend, James. We went over this last time.” Your voice is deadpan and he mutters something sour that has Sirius elbowing him in the ribs.

“Why were you surprising me, I was coming to meet you?” You say, hoping to move past the awkwardness and Sirius deflates just a tad.

“I have a surprise for you, it’s a bit out of town though,” he says, hesitance in his words like he doesn’t already know that you’re going to follow him any place- that’s reasonably safe. Okay, maybe semi-safe.  “James is staying here.”

“James thinks he should come.”

“James isn’t thinking if he apparently thinks he should come, it’s a Sirius thing.”

“It can’t be that serious if you’re talking in third person,” you tease, wincing when James turns on you, only for a hand on his chest to pull him up.

“C’mon. I’ve got to show you something.”


You stare as Sirius transforms into Fluffy the black dog you’d befriended. You’re utterly betrayed.

Not just because you spent weeks with this dog trailing after you and bonding with it, thinking it was someone elses dog when it was another student practically stalking you.

But also because your… Sirius has been a dog for at least that long and you haven’t had a single chance to snuggle with him by the fire. Probably best though considering he had to bring you all the way to the shrieking shack to show you, so it’s obviously a secret.

He transforms back, expression stark and nervous and you stare at him for a long moment, your expression blank.

“I’m enraged.” You turn on your heel and stalk down the hill and back toward town. He doesn’t follow you and you’re glad. There are a lot of moments you need to go through and a lot of emotions you need to deal with.


You stab the baked potato savagely, driving your fork into it over and over again while your friends watch you nervously. Across from you and a seat to the left, Sirius hunches over his food. Directly across from you, Peter stares outright as you maul your dinner.

“I think you’ve got it open,” James coughs awkwardly, grimacing and shooting Lily a look. She shoots one back and for a moment they’re just silently arguing using just their eyes.

“Shall we go upstairs and talk some, maybe?” Dorcas suggests, her voice soft at your side and you’re stricken, shaking your head too fast.

“No! I… Am fine.” You change your grip on your utensils and set about eating with a laser focus that sets your little group on edge.

Your peas start rolling about your plate and you spot the word thanks and sorry in them before you’re driving your fork into their masses over and over until several are impaled on the tines of your fork.

“I really-”

“Have no idea and won’t because I’m not going to talk about it,” you snap, instantly guilty when Dorcas winces. Shooting a scathing glare at Sirius, since he started all this, you shove from your seat and storm from the great hall. This is bull crap.


“He’s not my boyfriend. Hell, we aren’t even talking right now.”

“He just does boyfriend things.”

“And treats you like a girlfriend.”

“And gets territorial and jealous of other guys around you,” Lily adds to the train and you scowl at all three of them.

“Admit it, Y/N, you’re going steady with Sirius,” Narcissa pipes up from the desk behind yours and you groan, her laughter like a windchime.

“He certainly thinks you are,” Remus adds in from behind Narcissa and you whip around, gaping at him. Beside him, Peter nods earnestly. “Despite this… setback that you’re going through.”

“It’s Sirius, guys, he doesn’t do steady or girlfriends or honesty- any of that,” you say, addressing those in front of you and behind. “We all know this.”

“I know that Regulus hates you because Sirius has ditched him twice since you hooked up,” Narcissa puts in and you scowl at her. She smiles sweetly, a flutter of malice to it, and you sigh. She’s a bad cop sometimes but she’s always been an honest one.

And everyone knows Sirius wouldn’t ditch Regulus lightly, what with their already tenuous relationship.

“He told James to lay off you,” Peter adds on and you stare hard at your knees. “About the drama, he was going to come talk to you and Sirius told him not too.”

“He told James to lay off Lily in case it hurt your relationship,” Remus continues and your head whips up, a frown creasing your face. Lily looks just as struck. Both of you thought he’d gotten bored of her. “He actually listened.”

“We know,” Lily agrees, her voice quiet and you covertly tuck your foot around her ankle, a hidden affection. She shakes off the strangeness and smiles at the lot of you. “So, Y/N has a boyfriend.”

“I’m amazed,” Marlene says and you scowl.

“It is amazing,” Dorcas agrees, soothing McKinnons burn and you roll your eyes.

“Class dismissed!” The Professor announces, “ingrates,” he adds, softer.

Gathering your things, you’re quickly herded between Remus and Peter out into the hall and straight into Sirius’s waiting arms, to which you squeak in surprise.

“Potions?” He asks, like it’s a question that you both now have the same class and you’re going to walk together. Instead of responding, you slide your hand into his and wait the few extra seconds it takes to be alone before you set out, and he smiles widely.

“You’re my boyfriend, right?” You say and his footsteps lose their rhythm for a moment before he’s back on track and you swallow down your dread. This is the first time you’ve held hands with him in days and you’ve ruined it because suddenly your friends are talking about boyfriends and going steady and ditching Regulus? What kind of fool falls for that?

“You didn’t know?” He frowns at you and your cheeks flame.

Wow, they were right.

“You’re… And, well, you know?” You hum, unsure how to phrase it without him taking it the wrong way and he laughs loudly, his arm wrapping around your waist so he can pull you in for a short kiss. As the two of you continue walking, still with his arm around your waist, he sighs.

“I guess I could have made myself clear about it but you’re you so I figured you’d already decided it.”

“You’re a literal dog.” You scowl and he laughs, hesitation in his eyes. Pulling him to a stop, you wrap your arm around his neck and meet his gaze, soft fear in his eyes. “I’m sorry I walked off like that.”

“Y/N!” He groans and you cringe, panicked all over again. “I’m not mad at you! I’m sorry! You shouldn’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong! I dumped this on you when I could have eased you into it and you reacted like I should’ve expected, I’m sorry.”

Your eyes flicker over his features, the earnestness in his face, the love in his eyes and the sad tilt to his lips. Pulling him down, you kiss him, slow and hot.

He is a dog, definitely- but he’s gorgeous and totally in love with you to boot.

So… “I forgive you.”

His laugh is loud and sweet when he pulls you tight to his chest and crashes his lips back against yours.


don’t expect anything good anymore. this is proof i peaked already (awk)

3

THE MORE TIMES I WATCH EPISODE 1 THE FUNNIER THIS AWKWARD PAUSE GETS

LOCUS LITERALLY DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE THROWS OFF HIS GROOVE

i can’t believe I used to think you were cool you’re not cool at all, Locus, you’re a huge loser oh my god

you big awkward baby i love you so much

anonymous asked:

17 for MC x Mark please?

TITLE: An Un-fur-seen Cat-astrophe
PAIRING: Mark Collins x Fallon Asper (MC)
PROMPT: avoid (from here)
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is it, guys! I actually managed to write a comedy for once without it getting touched by angst. Also my entry for Round Twenty-Two of #ChoicesCreates by @hollyashton and hosted by @ravenclawpokegirl25

“Oh my gosh, it’s plotting to kill me.”

“Where’s the net? Somebody get a net!”

“We don’t have a net, genius!”

“Guys, let us not overreact. We can make peace with this misunderstood cre—Ahh! It’s got my shoe!”

“Can somebody please call animal control?”

“Get it out!”

If anybody were to walk into that very specific San Francisco apartment, they would’ve died laughing at the scenario. There they were, seven mature grownups scrambling to get away from the tiny ball of ferociousness.

“Why, Mark?” Cole asked as he clutched onto a shelf to keep him from toppling over. “Why would you let Fallon adopt that embodiment of all things evil?”

Keep reading

7

Look at this adorkable dancing fool™! Part 2. (Part 1 / Part 3)

17-yr old Lee Pace dancing (and hamming it up) in his high school’s production of Crazy for You. (Slap that BassI Got Rhythm, Mustache Outtake)

Hope you like, meaningfulandoriginalurl! :-)

Marry Me?- Negan (JDM)

Anon:

Negan finding you on the road and rescuing you and months later he confesses that he loves you 

-

Hey, I just found your blog and I’m in love! Lol can I request a Negan X reader where he actually asks her to be his wife? Thanks!


Tagging: @crzcorgi , (I’m applying the if you like the request post you will be tagged thing) @kali-the-unicorn

You felt like you had been walking for days. Your feet where sore and you had blisters from your boots.

You’d been wandering for days, alone, starving and slowly dehydrating as you tried to savour your supplies. You were down to a packet of crisps and a bottle of water.

You once had a group, of smart people, who knew how to fire weapons, and survive to the best of their ability. Although, apparently in this world, that wasn’t enough. A herd of Walkers came through, right past the highway you had parked up on, the herd swept through, taking most of your family with it. Even your mother.

You were near death and a stranger took pity on you. Holding out his hand, inviting you into a truck.

At first you didn’t know whether to trust him or not, there had been some bad groups in the past but this man looked charming as he offered you a bottle of water.

“I don’t think I should” you say taking the bottle from him and almost drinking all of it in one gulp.

“Come on, what have you got to lose.” He smiled and it was the nicest smile you’d ever seen so you couldn’t refuse.

-

Negan passed outside of the camp and rubbed his brow in frustration. “Why is this so hard?!” he groaned to himself. He thought about when he had found you and when

“What’s hard?” you giggle walking out from the camp to meet him. Was he wearing a tie?

He hid something behind his back. “Oh nothing I erm…”

You giggle at how awkward he was being. “Common baby, what’s wrong?”

He sighed and stepped to you. “You erm…you know I love you right?” you could have sworn his cheeks flushed red.

“We’ll you’ve never said but I love you too so carry on…”

“M-marry me?” he said with a dorky smile showing you a ring dangling from a piece of barbed wire on Lucille.

You looked at the ring wide eyed and squeed loudly. “Yes!” you hugged him tightly and he chuckled, gently putting the ring on the right finger and looking down at you.

“Wait…You have wives…” you say with a small scowl.

“Well technically no…I say that so none of the saviours will abuse the women of camp you know?” he explained and you giggled.

“Okay good. I wanna be the only one.”

“You always have been my only one.” He smiled kissing the top of your head.

~Paris