oh yeah will you marry me

2

“Second time’s the charm?”

“Oh hush, that stupid stove was old and faulty. Totally not my fault, and if you’re just in here to pick fun at me, you can leave.”

“No, I have something I’d like to ask you.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you marry me?”

Aelin stopped chopping the vegetables and was at a loss for words. 

Oz cleared his throat and said “This is the part where you say yes?”

  • Sun: Hey, so you're Ruby's dad?
  • Taiyang: Yup, that's me. You must be Sun.
  • Sun: Yeah. I mostly know her through Blake, but we're still good friends and-
  • Taiyang: Alright, fine, you can marry my daughter!
  • Sun: Excuse me? No, you're misunderstanding-
  • Taiyang: Oh, don't think I don't know what's happening. You're a fun, attractive, blonde male with a nice tan and killer abs. I know how you're kind works. Sure, right now you're chasing after the broody, long haired brunette who always runs away from her team, but eventually you're going to realize you made a mistake and so you settle down with her short teammate in a hood who you fall for after she starts helping you raise the child. And then she'll die and you'll get a case of clinical depression and then both of your precious daughters will leave you and you live your life wondering what the hell went wrong and-
  • Sun: I'll do whatever you want just please stop crying.
  • Sirius: [during James’s proposal to Lily] Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It’s happening. Say yes!

  • Lily: Yes!
  • James: O-okay, but technically, you just said yes to Sirius.
  • Lily: Well, ask me, James.

  • James: Okay. Lily, will you marry us? Me. Mostly me.
  • Sirius: Yeah.

  • James: Even though Sirius is always gonna be part of the deal.
But consider this

I still have like two unfinished shidge fics so IDK if I ever will write this so here are my hcs for it

Your Obligatory Pidge is neighbors with Single Dad Shiro and his son Keith

-early 30s single dad Shiro and his son 5 year old Keith living in an apartment

-20s Pidge just moving next door

-awkward “Oh hey good morning!” followed by the “I made too much food would you like some?” nice moves pidge

-the “yeah sure thanks”

-the “Would you like to come inside?”

-the “let me go get my son”

-the omg he has a son?! He is married I have zero chances damn oh well time to hide my feelings in a dark void and be a good neighbor

- the “must be hard having children at a young age” followed by the explanation that shiro is in his 30s and Pidge laughing it off as a joke until he tells her he is serious and she is like HOW

-but also Shiro being busy with work and asking Pidge to take care of Keith for the night

-I’m guessing Pidge is into programming, tech stuff, freelancer so their time is pretty much at their control, although most of their freelance work comes from Altea Tech, their friend Hunk works there

-the Keith looking at Pidge’s photos hung on the the wall and seeing Pidge’s mom and asking “What are moms like??”

-Pidge realizing Keith never had a mom but yeah pidge has to say something “moms are nice, heartwarming. They take good care of you. Sometimes, they do scold you but that is because they love you and wants the very best for you.”

-”That sounds a lot like dad.”

-”Yep. Shiro is cool like that.”

-”Doesn’t that mean dad is twice as cool because he does both?” “Yeah. he is.”

-cue Pidge watching Lilo n Stich or maybe treasure planet with Keith and Keith falling asleep, Shiro getting home, thanking Pidge and carrying Keith back to his apartment

-Pidge hesitating because they may be intruding but then going with it saying Shiro is a very admirable and strong person as they are able to raise a wonderful son and also be amazing with their work

-Shiro being ???? then realizing that Pidge knows, probably from Keith, and then smiles and says thank you and good night before leaving

-Pidge closing their door and collapsing on the floor because how can shiro be this good-looking and perfect?! It is unfair, unjust

-Pidge meeting with Hunk to talk about their frustrations

-the “If he is single, then why don’t you just date him?!”

-”but what if he isn’t looking for someone and I end up ruining our good relations???”

-Also, previous neighbors the Sanchez, aka Kiddy Lance playing with Kiddy Keith with a really bad crush on Kiddy Keith because they thought Kiddie Keith was a girl, Curse u MULLET, and now they feel betrayed and confused af with their feelings somebody help these poor children u need to tell him it is ok to like boys pls

-by previous neighbors, I mean the Sanchez family  used to live in Pidge’s apartment, they saved enough money for a house so they moved to one, still in the neighborhood though

-Lance sleeping over because his parents had to do stuff (and by that I mean Lance crying like a baby because they miss Keith)

-Keith being all sparkly and excited and everything, Shiro is a happy dad

-Keith inviting PIDGE over, because Pidge and their movie collection are cool and not overrated and also because Keith wants Pidge to meet Lance

-because let’s face it, Shiro buys overrated movies, no time to go hunt the net for the good secret ones, but Pidge knows what is up

-the kid watching Brother Bear, Pidge brings popcorn and the kids swear they make the best popcorn

-Shiro falls asleep fast, poor dad needs rest, taking care of a 5 year old son and keeping up with work is a difficult job

-Keith swears he always does this in movie nights. Pidge drapes a blanket over shiro

-cue crying because Brother Bear is full of feels and shiro waking up because crying noises, note everyone is crying even Pidge 

-Shiro trying to not laugh at them, at pidge specifically, because Pidge cried watching brother bear, omg

-but Keith doesn’t know it is pidge he is laughing at and goes all defensive and like Brother Bear is an beautiful movie about ummmm…. brotherhood and bears, dad. You can’t laugh at brother bear when you slept on it.

-And Shiro just ruffling Keith’s hair saying yeah he is sorry and then looks at PIdge and winks (Pidge is internally and eternally screaming) as some form of I am sorry I laughed at you

-they finish the few remaining minutes of Brother bear and kids go to bed, Pidge goes back to their apartment

-Also Pidge, no car Pidge, bringing big bags when they go buy groceries coming down from buses and Shiro seeing that

-Shiro offering Pidge rides to the grocery store with him and Keith and Pidge saying yes because that would be a hell lot easier also GROCERY DATES

-Keith is in the cart obviously, Pidge is nice enough to make “vroom vroom” sounds for the kid, shiro never thought of that also they have dinner outside after this

-COOK DATES, aka Chef Dad Shiro, teaches Pidge some goddamn cooking because Pidge only knows how to cook pasta

-Shiro lowkey realizing he might be falling for Pidge but opting to just keep it to himself because Pidge is at their Prime, they can do anything in their 20s and well a single dad with a 5 year old kid isn’t exactly what people in their 20s are looking for (Joke is on you Shiro)

-Basically Shiro liking Pidge but considers his feelings something that will hold Pidge back so he doesn’t do anything about them

-How’s about daddy holt not going with non-binary and pidge being 100% done so they left their home at 18 bless matt for offering them a place to stay

-And how’s about some sad nights for Pidge because they remember daddy holt and they go drinking and moon viewing in the balcony

- cue accidentally breaking one of their pots and getting Shiro’s attention who hurries to their balcony because something just broke n they see pidge drunk in the moonlight

-the “Pidge are you okay? Is something wrong?”

-the “Oh hey Shiro. *hic*”

-the “You shouldn’t be here. You’re drunk, Pidge. It’s dangerous.” with the I am genuinely worried look

-the “tis fine. I’m perfectly fine.”

-the “Is something bothering you? Would you like to talk to me about it? I mean, if you are okay with it.”

-the SMILE in the glistening moonlight of pidge

-the arms stretching “You’re right shiro. I shouldn’t be here like this. I should hit the sheets. Good night.” before leaving

-the morning with the holy shit this HANGOVER and the need to go to the convenience store only to find a bag of Hangover coping drinks and meds on your door’s handle with the message:

“You’ll need these. Take Care,” -Shiro

-KEITH LOVES FINDING NEMO OKAY SO MUCH BECAUSE HE RELATES TO IT SO MUCH HE LOVES HIS PAPA OKAY?!!! I AM NOT OKAY

-KEITH GOES WITH PIDGE AND SHIRO TO GO WATCH FINDING DORY YEAH PIDGE AND KEITH CRY

-after the movie keith is like I am Nemo Papa is Merlin nemo’s papa and Pidge is dory

drunk!yuuri at his own wedding reception
  • yuuri: *one drink* there are so many people here and everyone's looking at me where's victor???!! oh he's right there, thank god
  • yuuri: *seven drinks* woooo dance-off!!! *strips*
  • yuuri: *twelve drinks* did you guys know i married victor??? THE victor nikiforov??? ohmigod i love him sooo much, you should all meet him, he's my coach!
  • everyone: yuuri, we were all there. we all know him.
  • yuuri: oh yeah right well anyway do you SEE how beautiful he is??? Much prettier than a katsudon, i'm glad i didn't marry a katsudon, i doubt that's legal, but i like vic-
  • yurio: kill me
  • Sam: *during Dean's proposal to Cas* Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It’s happening. Say yes!

  • Castiel: Yes!
  • Dean: O-okay, but technically, you just said yes to Sam.
  • Castiel: Well, ask me, Dean.

  • Dean: Okay. Cas, will you marry us? Me. Mostly me.
  • Sam: Yeah.

  • Dean: Even though Sam is always gonna be part of the deal.
If Tolkien Were Alive Today
  • Tolkien: wtf is this shit
  • Peter Jackson: well i know we took some liberties but-
  • Tolkien: fUCKING ACORNS WHAT
  • Peter Jackson: ...sir?
  • Tolkien: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE WHY IS HE DEAD
  • Peter Jackson: ...
  • Peter Jackson: that's what you wrote though
  • Tolkien: I KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT SON
  • Tolkien: GIVE ME THAT FUCKIN BOOK
  • Tolkien: "AND BILBO AND THORIN GOT MARRIED AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, FUCK YOU" THE END
  • Peter Jackson: ...i can keep the sick legolas scenes though right
  • Tolkien: oh yeah those were fuckin rad
  • Shiro: Keith?
  • Keith: Yeah?
  • Shiro: If we make it out of here alive, will you marry me?
  • Keith: ...do you have a ring with you?
  • Shiro: What? No, why?
  • Keith: Then you better get me one later!
  • Shiro: ...oh... oh. Is that- is that a yes?
  • Hunk: Shiro, nothing personal and not meaning to eavesdrop on your "not so private" and by the way really kind of sweet, but ominous proposal, but if you propose to any of us right now, we'd all probably say yes.

Victor insisting on being introduced at competitions and listed competitively as Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov next season because he is so extra and so in love and Yuuri is like oh my gosh I’m dying here you do not need to do this just use a professional name??? Victor is like “but Yuuri it’s my NAME now, it’s only accurate for me to be presented that way. Plus we’re married. Can you believe that, we’re MARRIED.”

And Yuuri eventually is like fine, fine I’ll do it too (which makes Victor’s LIFE) but the first several times he has a ‘that was so embarrassing’ moment before his program and the literal squealing from the audience doesn’t help (he gets over it though and starts to enjoy it because eventually some of that extra starts to rub off on Yuuri and oh yeah they’re married). 

5

“Come on! I’m clean.”
“Oh, what? I’m your prize? Your prize for gettin’ clean? Is that what I am? How many fucking times do I have to tell you? I am married! We’re having a baby!”
“No, you’re not, you know? I mean, you’re not!”
“Yes I am! You junkie addict liar! Yeah, you like that? How long is it gonna last this time? What are you gonna Sweet ‘N Low for it? ‘Cause it ain’t gonna be me. No, sir.”
“You psycho! What’s the truth? What’s the truth, huh? What’s going on? I wanna know! I mean, what kinda contortions are your brain acrobats doin’ up there in your fuckin’ head circus, huh?”

Orange Is The New Black [S4 E13]

Dir. Adam Bernstein (2016)

  • Taiyang: Wow I can't believe my first wife left me with our newborn child.
  • Qrow: Yeah...uhh, Raven has always been like that. I'm sorry. I tried to warn you.
  • Summer: Hey guys, everything okay?
  • Qrow, jumping a bit: Oh! Summer! Ye-yeah, everything is fine. Uhh, Summer, this may not be the best time, but I always kind of wanted to ask you this. Do you think, maybe, we could go out for drinks sometime?
  • Summer: Oh I'd love to!
  • Qrow: Really!?!
  • Summer: Yeah! Right after Taiyang and I get married you and I can go!
  • Qrow, staring at Taiyang: Y'know what. Nevermind.
On Another Earth

Originally posted by churroscolfer

Request: Would you write where Barry goes to earth 2 and he see that he’s married to reader and she’s pregnant/they have a kid together?

Notes: So, this doesn’t really go along with the plot of the actual episode but for my purposes this is what happened. It’s kind of long but I hope you guys like it!

Keep reading

I don’t know why I get so upset when my parents talk about me meeting a guy and having a boyfriend. Actually its probably because I have commitment issues. Yeah I just can’t imagine myself settling down with a guy for the rest of my life. Oh my best friend? Yeah I’ll be with her forever. We’ll be best friends, who knows maybe we’ll even live with each other. But as friends. You know because we both have commitment issues and can’t marry guys? Think of how cheap the rent will be if we split it. And she can help me with cooking and cleaning and we’’ll tell each other about our days. We’ll be totally straight together. Just gals being pals. Nothing gay here.

Ron: “I can’t believe you’ve been with Draco for two years…”

Harry: “We’ve been together five years Ron….”

Ron: “oh right, you’ve been married two years.”

Draco: “we’ve been married four years Weasley, you were Harry’s Best Man…”

Ron: “oh right, yeah…”

Draco: “I don’t know how Hermione copes….”

Harry: “me neither…”

Ron: “me neither…”

Hermione: “me neither.”

Rick and Stan playing Mario Kart
  • Stan: "Oh who the FUCK just blue-shelled me?!"
  • Rick: "Meee."
  • Stan: "I hate you."
  • Rick: "Don't hate the player, hate the game, son!"
  • Stan: "No, I'm mad at you now. For two minutes I am mad at you."
  • Rick: "Don't hate the player-"
  • Stan: "You're an asshole."
  • Rick: "Yeah, well you're married to an asshole, so who's the asshole now?"
  • Stan: "You're an idiot."
  • Rick: "YOU'RE an idiot!"
  • <p> <b>Friend:</b> You're smiling pretty bright, what are you thinking about?<p/><b>Me:</b> Ah, nothing in particular. It is just a nice day.<p/><b>Me *thinking*:</b> Oh my God, they are really engaged!!! Victor and Yuuri are really going to get married. I am so happy for them. They are the proof of true love! I can never get enough of those two. I love them as much as they love each other. Oh and I can't believe that Victor was in love with Yuuri for such a long time without him knowing. Victor is so precious!! I just love Victuuri soo much.<p/><b>Me:</b> Yeah, a REALLY nice day.<p/></p>
  • Tom: [during Matthew's proposal to Mary] Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It’s happening. Say yes!

  • Mary: Yes!
  • Matthew: O-okay, but technically, you just said yes to Tom.
  • Mary: Well, ask me, Matthew.

  • Matthew: Okay. Mary Crawley, will you marry us? Me. Mostly me.
  • Tom: Yeah.

  • Matthew: Even though Tom is always gonna be part of the deal.