oh yay i'm not alone in this

  • Revan: What exactly do you wanna know?
  • The Exile: Simple: what have you all been doing since the Star Forge?
  • Revan: Everyone adjusted to the peace and quiet different. Some of us were naturals.
  • Jolee: Don't hate the player.
  • Carth: Canderous got hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on the Star Forge!
  • Canderous: Usen'ye! Baseless slander!
  • Carth: But you said—
  • Canderous: I am hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on the Star Forge! We need a new enemy! Something to fight...where are you all going?
  • Revan: Canderous wasn't the only one having a hard time adjusting to inaction...
  • Bastila: ...What?
  • Carth: Fortunately, we found a tutor.
  • Bastila: Help me, Jolee. Help me be the best at being lazy.
  • Jolee: You're not ready, padawan.
  • Bastila: I can try!
  • Jolee: No. There is no try.
  • Juhani: The peaceful times did not last too long. Turns out this planet has some native lifeforms.
  • Mission: AAAAHHH, RUUUUN!
  • Zaalbar: <I CAN'T DIE AS FOOD! OH, THE IRONY!>
  • Bastila: While everyone debated if dying as food was technically ironic, T3 went and made friends with the dinosaurs.
  • HK-47: Annoyance: Because of course he did.
  • T3-M4: <Aw, who's a good boy? Aw, you are, good boy!>
  • Revan: T3, get down!
  • Canderous: Tell him to fight me!
  • Bastila: AND THEN MISSION SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BURN DOWN OUR BASES!
  • Mission: Whoopsy-daisy!
  • Carth: Oh-ho, why, oh-why-oh-why?!
  • Mission: I told you! It was a simple mishap with my vanilla-satin scented candles! Sheesh!
  • Canderous: We lost eighty-percent of our rations in the fire, so fuzzy over here started going around and eating native plants!
  • Zaalbar: *walks up to a mushroom* <Oh, hey there, sexy.>
  • Carth: Oh, and as it turns out? The mushrooms are basically glitterstim ON GLITTERSTIM.
  • Zaalbar: *untranslatable, coked-up roaring*
  • Revan: Yeah? Well at least I didn't spend my summer learning Lehonese!
  • Bastila: I thought "Lehonese" was Rakatan for "Rakatan".
  • Revan: And now we're the only two people in the universe who speak a dead language! How appropriate!
  • Bastila: Yehone kuriba. (I'm so alone.)
  • Jolee: That's right around when we tried to raise some money for new bases by selling off our movie rights.
  • Carth: Lucasfilm really screwed the pooch on that one.
  • Mission: Oh, we were rich!
  • Revan: And then we realized water parks were way more awesome than bases!
  • Bastila: So we built the galaxy's greatest...water park.
  • Non-Bastilas: Yay!
  • Bastila: Yay.
  • Canderous: AND THEN MISSION—
  • Mission: Whoopsy-daisy.
  • Canderous: I MEAN HOW DO YOU BURN DOWN A WATER PARK, MISSION?!
  • Mission: I didn't burn down the whole water park! Just the "park" part!
  • T3-M4: <And then we formed the best band ever!>
  • Bastila: Juhani thought it might attract...chicks.
  • Juhani: Which worked.
  • Carth: Godspeed! You Galactic Emperor!
  • Juhani: AeroSith!
  • Carth: How about deadg1zka?
  • Revan: Hey, I heard you're looking for a singer.
  • Juhani: Um, yes! Chick singers are awesome!
  • Carth: Can you sing, though?
  • Revan: Can I sing?
  • Juhani: Revan sings. So good.
  • Revan: Thank you.
  • Carth: Oh, and we're definitely not just saying that because she could kill us.
  • HK-47: Strained: So. Good.
  • Mission: HK decided to make his own enemy, so he built an evil droid army to invade our valley!
  • Jolee: But the droids malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs.
  • *offscreen dinosaur-droid battle occurs*
  • Carth: I have seen some amazing things in my life, but this...this takes the cake.
  • Revan: Candy found a new enemy. One that would keep him busy for the rest of our time here.
  • Canderous: For far too long our people have been oppressed, crushed, under the weight of ourselves! If we don't start standing up to our mortal foe gravity, by Mandalore, who will?
  • Bastila: Are we really going to let this play out?
  • Carth: Why not see where it goes?
  • Canderous: Buckle up, Wookiee! It's time we take this fight to the enemy!
  • Zaalbar: <Please no.>
  • Canderous: Chaaaarge! *drives swoop bike off a cliff*
  • Juhani: But that just meant the light side had one more swoop bike than the dark side.
  • Canderous: Gentlemen, we simply cannot let the light side have tactical superiority over the canyon! This means war! Light. VS. Dark!
  • Zaalbar: <Shit.>
  • Revan: That helped us realize just how outdated this whole light side-dark side thing really is.
  • Carth: So we had a meeting to debate a new form of government.
  • Jolee: I vote anarchy.
  • Canderous: You can't vote anarchy, old man!
  • Bastila: Monarchy. Whoever holds the yellow double-bladed saber shall rule.
  • Canderous: Military dictatorship!
  • Revan: Matriarchy.
  • Mission: Oh! How about malarkey?
  • Carth: Mission, that's not a type of government. It just means meaningless talk and nonsense!
  • Everyone: ...
  • Carth: Malarkey won.
  • T3-M4: <Hey, you haven't mentioned the dark place!>
  • Mission: Oh yeah! Somehow T3 got stuck in another dimension!
  • T3-M4: <Hello? Anyone there? THIS IS AWESOME!>
  • *looking at the "Stranger Things" Christmas light wall*
  • Carth: "Beep". He just...keeps saying "Beep".
  • Revan: Oh, and we found Candy dead!
  • Mission: Sweet.
  • Juhani: We decided to bury him in a shallow, unmarked grave.
  • Canderous: Aw, dammit! I can't find my armor!
  • Revan: Turns out he was just...skinny-dipping.
  • Canderous: Guess I'm going au natural! Nice and breezy!
  • Bastila: AAAAAHHHH, RUN!
  • Carth: OH, THE IRONY!
  • Bastila: But that wasn't even the weirdest thing that happened! Canderous. Grew. A beard...
  • Canderous: It's kind of...itchy.
  • Mission: And then this morning Revan spiked Bastila's couscous with her spice-spice shrooms!
  • Revan: You know, for the lulz.
  • Bastila: Ochina wumma conbithki!
  • Canderous: Anyone seen my tanning oil?
  • Revan: Dammit Canderous, we have guests! Put some clothes on!
  • Carth: Oh ho, Cheap Jedi Mind Trick!
  • Juhani: Pink Droid!
  • Canderous: SUCK IT, FORCE!
  • Revan: It's been AWFUL! Instead of a peaceful retirement, it's been the same damn shit, with the same damn idiots!
The Modifyers Starters
  • "Oh, no. You're not tricking me this time."
  • "Really? Let me try!"
  • "This is my jig!"
  • "But-! We're on the same team!"
  • "Come back here, you!"
  • "It's good to be me again!"
  • "Pesky ring!"
  • "You can say that again."
  • "We have the package and will commence delivery right away."
  • "Cough it up!"
  • "I knowwwww"
  • "Now, let's hurry up and get this thing sent."
  • "That could be so valuable!"
  • "That's seven months old."
  • "Is that a word?"
  • "What's the hold-up?"
  • "We're on it!"
  • "I know, it's bad."
  • "No, it's mega-giga-terribad! Superzilla!"
  • "Not if we get there before him!"
  • "Trust me!"
  • "Look out! Watch where you're going!"
  • "Look! There he is!"
  • "Aw, he's cute."
  • "He tricked us!"
  • "Follow me!"
  • "There's only one thing I despise more than anything!"
  • "I do the interrupting! See! Just like that!"
  • "It's feeding time again."
  • "Yay! My favorite!"
  • "She's a double-crosser, I say!"
  • "Piece of Junk!"
  • "I'll leave you two alone."
  • "Get in the net! Net net, c'mon!"
  • "And you didn't trust me!"
  • "Oh, no. I'm carrying it."
  • "What is that ringing?"
  • "What is this thing?"