oh woe is me etc etc

anonymous asked:

I've just had this idea of Qui and Obi being sent on a mission to be a Presence (to try settle unrest) on a planet where short beings are really rare, imagine this species grows really fast so being short or small isn't really a thing and when they see Obi-Wan and they think he's the Cutest Person Ever and they think he's super super young because of his height and they have such a deference to Qui bc they think he's Obi's dad and basically a potential dispute is settled bc Obi-Wan is tiny okay

Anon. ANON. WHO ARE YOU. COME OFF ANON AND TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS INCREDIBLE THING.

THE ADVENTURES OF 

SMOLBI WAN KENOBI AND QUI DAD JINN

What would the dispute be about though? Would these people be in the midst of a civil war? Are they trying to declare independence from the Republic? Are they holding political prisoners hostage???

OOH OOH Maybe they’re an extremely long-lived species with a very low birth rate, which subsequently means that they hold children and those that care for children in very high esteem? 

OH Maybe Obi Wan gets a little cold so he stays behind on the ship bc of his pounding headache so when Qui Gon pops up alone they’re like “Who is this human” and they side-eye him the entire time he’s there and nothing gets done like “we’re not going to listen to a human even if you are bigger than the rest of your scrawny, stunted race–” “a human making demands of us how arrogant, how insulting–” so Qui Gon’s like SIGHS okay FINE I must take Drastic Measures and he goes back to his ship and he’s like “Obi Wan we’re going to execute Plan of Action #468-B” and Obi Wan’s like “But Master I don’t like that plan” “No time to argue, bratling we have a Mission

and suddenly BAM out comes Qui-Gon down the ship ramp carrying this teeny tiny lil human child in his arms who is sO SO SMOL AND THEY ALL DO A COMPLETE ATTITUDE 180

WHY IS YOUR CHILD SO TINY HUMAN WHY IS HIS FACE SO RED IS HE ILL HUMAN DOES HE REQUIRE ANYTHING WE KNOW LITTLE OF YOUR HUMAN PHYSIOLOGY BUT WE HAVE THE BEST MEDICAL FACILITIES IN THE ENTIRE SECTOR PLEASE FRIEND MAKE USE OF ALL OF OUR RESOURCES THEY ARE AT YOUR DISPOSAL WHY DID YOU NOT ALERT US THAT YOUR CHILD WAS IN NEED WE APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING UP SO MUCH OF YOUR TIME WE SHALL CALL AN IMMEDIATE RECESS PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR SMALL CHILD AND NOTIFY US OF ANYTHING YOU MAY REQUIRE

And Qui Gon’s like “Yes of course, you are too kind, etc etc”

and Obi Wan’s going full throttle Drama Queen like “Oh, woe is me, I am a tiny tiny human child and I am Suffering Greatly, alas and alack I am ready to embrace the void”

and for the rest of their stay if the people do anything that hinders the proceedings of the diplomatic mission Qui Gon plays the “My Child is Sick and I am Concerned for His Health” card like

“YOU FOOL those terms are absolutely out of the question–you are swindling us–”

“HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH CRIMES–”

“aHEM OH I am so WORRIED for my SMALL CHILD who is currently ILL is there ANY WAY we could reach a COMPROMISE so I can go CHECK UP on his FALTERING HEALTH”

“Oh, of course, my apologies–”

“Perhaps I have been too rash, indeed maybe if we did this–?”

They’re out of there in like three days and are sent back to Coruscant with glowing praise and a literal mountain of gifts and trinkets for Obi Wan. Amazing.

Vacation Plans
  • Me before school vacation: Oh god I'm so excited, I'll be able to finally catch up on new episodes of every series I was too stupid to get attached to, try out exercising, socialize with friends, go out swimming, play with my dog, worship my cat, try to find cure for cancer, etc etc
  • Me during school vacation: *read-binge on smutty gay fanfics*
Zhu Li Did The Thing!

First, let us all give a round of applause to the introduction of one of the longest-awaited characters in the Avatar universe: Zhu Li’s Personality! Wow she is great~


NEXT UP. I had several different thoughts for how Zhu Li’s pledge of loyalty could play out.

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1. Obviously, it could be exactly what it looks like, but that would be kind of boring on its own– although still a little surprising given how seemingly unanimously the fandom believes she was acting. Seems unlikely, but could happen. Watching Varrick be utterly lost without her would also be great.

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2. Zhu Li could be sincere, with the added stipulation that Varrick is utterly convinced she was faking. If you’ve seen Venture Bros, it would probably be a lot like Monarch after 21 defected. Even when every last sign repeatedly pointed to the contrary, he’d maintain absolute, unwavering faith that it must all be part of her plan and that she’s working as fast as she can. That’s not to say he wouldn’t still gripe, because Varrick, but don’t dare let anyone else question her. Zhu Li is completely loyal, dammit! Basically we’d get a long dramatic irony with Varrick being utterly broken when he was finally forced to face the truth, possibly with a reconciliation at the very end.

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3. Zhu Li could be faking, but Varrick doesn’t know that, and it causes him to spiral into a self-loathing trainwreck. ‘Why did I drive her away!? How will I survive!?’ super dramatic etc. When she finally shows up to save him she’s pleasantly surprised to find him groveling at her feet and apologizing profusely. It might even make her a little uncomfortable seeing him act so weird, but even if/when he regresses it would likely still end up in a much more symbiotic relationship, with him appreciating and respecting her much more etc.

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4. Zhu Li does the things for Kuvira, efficient and badass as ever. Varrick is OH NO, WOE IS ME as he conveniently botches the experiment, blaming Zhu Li’s absence and proving how incompetent he is without her. ……..Right up until Zhu Li saves him (either by gaining enough of Kuvira’s trust or just taking out the armed guards, probably slightly off-screen for added comedic effect). And it’s revealed they were both acting the whole time and neither doubted each other’s motives or intentions at any point and Varrick’s just “about time!” when she gets there and they cheese it out of there together. x'3 This would almost be boring and would be disappointing in terms of (lack of) character development but would be pretty classic Varrick shenanigans so there’s that.

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5. Number 4, except Varrick flip flops between “yeah Zhu Li’s totally got this” and “….she… she does have this, right?” And the end is about the same, except with more relief on his end, and better setting up for him legitimately questioning how he’s treated her in the past. And honestly if Zhu Li IS still loyal to him, I kind of doubt she actually cares about his behavior all that much, but I imagine she’d still really appreciate a more grateful Varrick. :3

[ Edit - Few More ]

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In other s4e5 news, Asami smiling at the little girl both for obvious parent-child feels and almost certainly also because she kind of looked like Korra and just aheoahweahfoehaowhe feels.