dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
how do you even know who macklemore is?
i'm hip. i'm cool
don't you do it
i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
(five minutes later)
is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
how do you know?
i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
how the heck did he laser through concrete??
idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
ew dad gross no
i really relate to that apple store employee
we all do dad
oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
dad good god
he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
you know on second thought we should have brought mom
where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
what about the stairs in the forests!!! and what doc were you watching and would you recommend?
ok so I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE STAIRS IN THE FORESTS! mainly because I’m A Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service, and I Have Some Stories to Tell a) is posted on /r/nosleep so it’s definitely made up, b) the op admits to knowing about David Paulides, and lbr knowing about = being influenced by, so it’s definitely made up, and c) if you read all the way through to the end it stops being even vaguely believable and starts reading like a WTNV transcript, and then he plugs his book, so it’s DEFINITELY MADE UP. however, it is an amazing (read: terrifying) thread, some of it is obviously based on truths/insider SAR knowledge which means a lot of it is probably uncomfortably close to actually being true, and it’s a good Gateway Read into MISSING PEOPLE IN NATIONAL PARKS CONSPIRACY THEORIES, which is where I live now. (plus, if you read this before getting into anything else it imbues every single missing persons case with an unsettling sense of Eldritch horror, which is why I had to turn on three overheads and unfocus my eyes all the way to the bathroom last night at 2am.)
so yeah, after reading that /r/nosleep thing for the first time I drew a line under it and moved on until SOMEONE (ahem, @roundtop) sent me a link to an article called How 1,600 People Went Missing from Our Public Lands Without a Trace (on a legit and sensible outdoorsy people website), like ‘haha, stairs in the forest!’ and I SWAN DIVED DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE. thus: the documentary-watching, staying up till 2am and spending all day today trying to find copies of David Paulides’ books for less than $80 inc. postage.
THIS DUDE DAVID PAULIDES. he was in law enforcement before, for some reason, deciding to become a ~*~cryptozoologist~*~ and certified gung-ho Bigfoot conspiracy theorist, and through that found out about how many people had disappeared without a trace from National Parks in the U.S., did 7,000 hours worth of digging, and wrote a bunch of books about it. his books are called Missing 411 and are about the ridiculous number of people who go missing in National Parks, the usually weird circumstances around their disappearances, the fact that when people are found (dead or alive) it’s often in places miles and miles and sometimes waaaaay higher up mountains than where they disappeared from, and all sorts of creepy crap to boot. like they can’t get bloodhounds to find a scent, or they find tiny children miles away from where they got lost, barefoot, without a scratch on the soles of their feet, human remains being found years later in places that were search dozens and dozens of times. not to mention the National Parks… People (? I really don’t know enough to be making this post) are aware of what’s happening but don’t keep a list of the people who’ve gone missing on their lands.
(which is all part of why I’m A Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service is so freaky – enough of it (people being found miles away, kids being found up mountains, the people in charge being cagey about it all) sounds real that you can believe it was actually written by a SAR Officer. heebies!)
it’s all real nightmare fuel, if you’re the sort of person who is absolutely terrified by all this Scary Forest Disappearing People Unexplainable Deaths stuff, i.e. me. luckily I can’t afford to buy any of them! phew! however, I haven’t let that stop me from a) SCARING MYSELF SHITLESS and b) BECOMING A TIN HATTER, and it shouldn’t stop you either: you can read loads of stuff over at /r/missing411, listen to one of his initial interviews (in which he talks about how he was approached by two park employees in plain clothes who were like ‘please investigate this, there’s SOMETHING going on and it’s so goddamn weird’) on Coast to Coast AM (which is, like, a paranormal radio station… I’m sorry), watch a bunch of Paulides’/CanAm Missing Project’s vids about disappearances on youtube, and listen to hours worth of interviews and late night spooky radio/podcast discussions with Paulides.
the documentary I thought I was watching was Missing 411, which is based on his books and Kickstarted by the public in 2015, but it turns out that they’re apparently shopping it around at festivals so it’s not out yet. what I was actually watching (and quickly abandoned) was a weird supercut of all of David Paulides’ tv interviews and some cryptozoologist chatter about Bigfoot. Paulides, god love him, never ever SAYS Bigfoot in any of his books, and everything he presents is 100% factually accurate and extensively researched, but… I think we can safely say he thinks it’s Bigfoot. tbh, after reading about JarydAtaderoI think it’s Bigfoot. I mean, goddamn.
so, yeah. I’ve finished reading every search and rescue story on this blog (Hunt for the Death Valley Germans is LONG but awesome), I’ve got West of Memphis ready to watch after work tomorrow because I remembered how much I love that case and spooky true crime things, if you have any related LINKS or STUFF about This Shit then REBLOG THIS/MSG ME AND TELL ME, or if you have a copy of a Missing 411 book you wouldn’t mind mailing to me then LET ME KNOW, and in conclusion I can’t believe America is so fucking huge and unkind, goodnight.
For whatever reason, imagining an AU where Ethan is a fallen angel really makes me happy? Like Ethan waking up cast down from the sky and he has no idea how to live on Earth, but he bumps into Mark n Amy n Ty n Kat and he ends up just following them around and asking questions about everything?
Ethan with fluffy wings and eyes that glow white when he’s angry? Speaking of wings, Ethan hiding behind his wings when he’s embarrassed or using them to flutter up when Tyler calls him short? Plus everyone automatically finds him beautiful at first sight and Mark has used the “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Line several times because he finds it funny
Angelic Eth not being able to lie? Ever? Which leads to him confessing a lot of things he doesn’t want to, like how he ate the last of the waffles and he doesn’t actually think that hat looks good on Mark and also he’s in love with like everyone on the team, etc.
Plus since it’s really common in mythology for angels to have healing powers? Eth lying in bed with Ty and asking about his kidney, Ty tells him and E just gets really sad and curls up against Ty’s chest? And Ethan is like “you’re okay now” and Tyler doesn’t know what that means but his health has completely improved at his next doctor’s appointment
Or if the first time Eth heals someone is when the rest of the team is super sick and struggling to make videos, Ethan goes to snuggle with them since they’re all sitting in a miserable sick circle on the floor, editing videos. Everyone is immediately like “dude no! We’re gonna get you sick” but Ethan just does it anyways because he’s a cuddle monster and heals them in the process
Bonus if Mark still has red hair when Ethan falls and Eth sees it and get super excited because he wants his hair to look like that! So after a few weeks he finally convinces Mark to take him to the hairstylist but he catches a glimpse of a girl with blue hair and changes his mind? So he comes out of the salon with bright blue hair and angel wings puffed out in happiness, Mark tells him he looks like he’s going to a costume party.
I don’t know why this is specific to this AU but Amy and Kathryn exchanging Eskimo kisses with Ethan? Because they love their blue boy
Plus any time they see a bird in public someone will point to it and say “Look Ethan your mom came back for you”
So I did the thing, and it’s stupid and terrible, but here, have it:
Bucky’s an EMT. Normal guy, just living his life, trying to help where he can. And then one day, all of a sudden, the aliens are invading NYC, and Bucky’s out there helping, right in the middle of the danger zone because of course he is.
There’s a fight going on, and a bunch of freaks in weird suits seem to be fighting the aliens, but Bucky doesn’t have much time to focus on anything other than all the people in dire need of medical attention. He does what he can to help, grabs the first metal bar he can find and fights only the aliens getting in his way, and works himself to exhaustion. Then there’s a blast, and it sends a man flying right into the wall next to him.
“Hey, you okay?” Bucky asks, rushing to help him, and though Bucky could’ve sworn the blow was hard enough to crush anyone’s ribs, he’s surprised to see the man–who must’ve been on his way to a costume party–stand up practically unscathed.
He’s got broad shoulders and a strong jaw and eyes of the prettiest shade of blue Bucky’s ever seen, and even with his face covered in soot and grime and blood, Bucky’s heart skips a beat.
For a few seconds the man seems a bit disoriented, then he finally registers Bucky’s presence. “What are you doing here?? Get out of the streets!”
“I was–” Bucky starts, and is cut off by an explosion right above their heads and a bunch of debris raining down on them, and a hand shoving him aside.
When he comes to, which is a surprise in itself, the dust has started to clear, and the man who’s clearly saved his life is carrying him as if he weighed nothing, concern in those beautiful eyes and a big, warm hand pressed tenderly against Bucky’s neck, checking for a pulse.
He locks eyes with Bucky and sighs in relief, the hint of a smile on his plush lips, but the hand remains where it is. “Hi,” he says. “You all right?”
“Y-yeah… Thank you,” Bucky replies, but he doesn’t move to free himself of the man’s arms. His stomach is doing something weird, and the man surely has other people to rescue, but for a few seconds they both just stay there, shell-shocked and staring at each other like the world around them has stopped.
Then something blows up nearby, and the spell is broken.
Carefully, the man helps him to his feet, makes sure Bucky’s in one piece, and then says, “Find shelter, okay? Stay inside.”
Bucky’s not planning to, but he can’t find it in him to tell that to this incredible man, so he slowly licks his lips and nods. Before turning around to leave, the man offers him a small, shy smile.
- - - - -
During the next few weeks after the Chitauri attack on NYC, every single piece of footage of the Avengers fighting against the aliens and helping civilians goes viral. Phone videos, security cameras, blurry pics.
The most popular, by far, is a snapshot of Captain America carrying a guy, who can be seen fighting aliens and helping people in other videos, bridal style, thumb caressing his jaw, and both looking like lovestruck teenagers.
Bucky can’t go to the grocery store or even do his job without being stalked by the paparazzi or Cap’s groupies or just random people wanting to know what his Avenger name is, and for how long he’s been dating Captain America.
- - - - -
“You’ve ruined my life!!” Bucky tells him, because of course, of course Captain America would pick Bucky’s park for his morning run. Of course Bucky’d slip on wet leaves on the pavement precisely this morning, and of fucking course Captain America would just happen to be around to catch him at just the right time. Bucky’s seeing red.
“I’m sorry,” Captain America says, and it’s extremely unfair just how genuine and how much like a kicked puppy he looks.
Christ, Bucky wants to punch him.
- - - - -
Steve’s been living in PR hell.
He’s spent the past weeks “saving” girls and boys alike from getting hit by a bicycle, or fainting, or a fuckton of equally stupid shit.
The second anyone spots Captain America, there’ll suddenly be some kind of dangerous situation going down, and someone hoping Cap will carry them bridal style to safety and maybe fall head over heels in love with them in the process.
Steve is tired and done and ready to get back in the ice for another few decades, and shares Pepper’s worries that someone might actually put themself in real danger soon.
“We should handle this before it gets worse,” Nat says. And Steve agrees, of course, but he just doesn’t know how.
“Just marry the guy,” Clint suggests.
Steve almost chokes to death on his own spit.
Clint shrugs. “Why not? Half the world already thinks you’re dating…”
“Clint, he hates me…”
“Only cause people keep pestering him about this. If you two get married it’ll be a circus, but then it’ll blow over. He can’t even do his job right now, right? So you pay the guy for the trouble, yadda yadda, then when this is over you two get a quick divorce, and that’s it. Problem solved.”
For two minutes, no one else opens their mouth. Then:
“He’s got a point…”
“Tony, no,” Steve whines.
“You saw the footage, how he was helping those civilians… If you have to marry someone, he’s not a bad candidate,” Nat says, and then smirks. “Plus, he’s cute.”
Steve already knows he’s lost this battle, but that doesn’t help him feel any better about this. Yes, he’s cute. Yes, he’s a brave and kind and smart guy. Yes, Steve could very easily pretend to be married to him for a while and yes it’d help them both. None of that’s the problem.
The problem is that he kind of really likes the guy.
Stop being a fucking pissbaby and just post the content. Your blackout is completely illogical and counter-productive - people who repost stuff will continue reposting, since they don't care. While those that care about reblogs, will not reblog, because you won't post art for two weeks. Brilliant strategy. it's the typical tumblr mindset: "I want to change the world. I know, I will sign a bullshit petition!". God, you are stupid.
….oh man, this is about to become very embarrassing for you.
first of all, i’m not even participating in the blackout nor am i organizing it so i don’t even know why the hell you’re coming to me with this. if you’ll notice i’m still reblogging art and still posting writing. which tells me that what you’re doing is going through the tag, finding anyone who’s posted about the blackout, and sending them useless asks because it’s how you get your rocks off. because apparently a harmless tumblr protest upsets you so fucking much that you have to go and insult people over it. you must have a lot of time on your hands.
if you don’t like the protest, don’t participate in it. if you think it’s not going to do any good, fine. don’t participate in it. i don’t understand why you’re so angry about people participating in a protest that doesn’t affect you. the fact that you are angry shows me that you’re entitled. either you’re a content creator who thinks that you’re entitled to the notes that the people currently protesting aren’t going to give you for two lousy weeks (which, grow up) or you’re a consumer who thinks you’re entitled to the fanart and fanfiction that people on this site post for fucking free that you will be without for two lousy weeks (which, again, grow up). there are plenty of users not participating who are still posting and still reblogging, so the fact that you feel the need to send messages like this to complain about people who are protesting for personal reasons is about the most childish thing i’ve seen all week.
and here’s another tip, hot off the press. since you’re apparently so offended by a harmless protest that doesn’t affect you, why don’t you do something that you do think will help with art theft instead of insulting people about this protest. why don’t you spread information about proper etiquette around reposting? why don’t you hold an event where people can report any stolen art they see? why don’t you write up guides for new artists/writers who don’t know how to report their stolen content?
bet that didn’t occur to you. because you’re too busy complaining about what other people are doing rather than trying to do something positive for once. because you don’t really care about art theft and you don’t really care about remedying it. you just want an excuse to insult people on anon for doing something that you don’t particularly care for. again, that is childish, entitled, rude, and proof that you really must have a lot of time on your hands.
please entertain yourself with something else. and if i see you in my inbox again, i’m blocking and reporting your ass.
The wonderful orenjimaru (I put a link because it refuses to tag) drew a fabulous piece with Jack and Gabriel on TumblrandTwitter!
Which inspired me to write this:
Gabriel visited the one Angela called ‘Jack’ every time he was at the watchpoint.
It had taken her weeks to relent and let him inside, she thought his intentions malicious, but that was to be expected. A cancer was growing inside of Overwatch and it was Gabriel’s job to snuff it out. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t at the top of the list in ‘persons of interest’.
The first time he visited, it was for a routine check-up and the large, bubbling tube of green liquid caught his eye from the exam room. He had migrated to it like a bug to a light, booted footsteps heavy against Angela’s tile floor.
imagine steve and bucky escaping to the mountains. no civil war. imagine them canoeing on the lake, nothing but them and the slosh of water around their oars and their boat, the call of the loon distant and echoing. steve turning around every so often, like he still can’t believe that bucky is there, that he’s so lucky. imagine bucky pressing steve against the wall of their cabin, the setting sun shining on them. bucky kissing steve’s noises away, his metal hand gouging holes into the wood. steve laughing when he sees them, and it makes bucky laugh, too, and they kiss and laugh, young again, before stripping completely and running into the lake: bucky first, then steve.
imagine early mornings, frost still on the grass, the edges of the water glinting ice in the sunlight. both of them clad in denim jackets and cozy flannel, drinking steaming coffee with their hands intertwined on the porch railing. bucky looking over at steve and smiling, saying, “i love you,” a little forlorn like he’s making up for the seventy years he couldn’t say it. steve smiling back, setting his coffee down on the railing and cupping bucky’s jaw with his hand. saying, “i love you, too,” the warmth of his palm the warmest bucky’s felt in a long time. steve leaning in to let their noses brush, their lips, before properly kissing him and sliding his fingers into bucky’s hair. imagine steve pinning bucky to the rug on the hearth, clasping their hands together while the fire plays over them, flesh-and-metal, as they move together, unhurried, like the world is theirs.
and maybe it is: maybe time slows down for them, two lovers who could have been star-crossed but sidestepped it. maybe they deserve it, scratchy wool and the omnipresent smell of soot and smoke. imagine the sun rising and the sun setting. imagine neither of them giving a damn about ever going back, hands clasped on the wood, an entire mountain between them and who they were. there was a time when they would have moved those mountains for each other. now they don’t need to.
Okay so I noticed that a few (a lot tbh) writers and readers have this issue with trying to tag someone, but their url not popping up OR it doesn’t link and notify them. As a writer and reader, this is annoying and frustrating. So here’s what you (reader) can do!
Go into settings and click on your main or side blog
Scroll down until you find “Privacy”
Make sure you have the first two switched on, like so:
I’ve always had the first switch on, so I truthfully can’t tell you that it will affect the tagging system. If you’re really adamant about keeping it off, then turn it off. But if you’re still not getting tagged/not showing up, then turn it on.
This one is a MUST. Having this turned off is basically making you nonexistent. Your url/blog will not show up in any kind of search, either from tumblr or google or whatever engine you use. If you keep it off, your url will not show up at all in the search/tagging system. Keep it on.
I had my blog flagged for NSFW because I would have the occasional nsfw post. For some reason (I haven’t figured out why yet) if you have this switched on, you won’t pop up in the search/tagging system. If you’re a hardcore adult-orientated blog, then it’s your choice if you want to keep your blog flagged, or be tagged in a fic.
If you (writer) still can’t tag the reader, then it might be because of:
Main or side blog is protected by a password
Blog is blocked (Person A cannot tag Person B because Person Bblocked Person A)
Tumblr is being a sack of burning shit more likely than the two above
Rogues are crafty combatants who succeed in battle by combining speed, subterfuge, and a wide range of abilities to bring their opponents down in unexpected ways, sometimes before the enemy even
perceives danger. Rogues can pick locks with great skill, incapacitate
enemies with ease, or sneak up on targets to deliver a devious and
THIS TOOK ME SO LONG SHUDGSDGBSDGH lies down for fifty years
very belated valentines gift for my wonderful qpp @gottalovesteak !! oh my god i dont even know what to say w/o getting too sappy just know I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and appreciate everything you do for me and hopefully my hours of blood and sweat convey this message to you
also: legs for D A Y S
*please dont tag this as kin/me/etc fr either!! thank you sm
I was going to make something really nice for your birthday, @markiplier, and I spent hours working- working on a drawing of your face, and then one of Chica, and then I tried one in an Animal Crossing style for some reason, and then at one point I think I had a Darkiplier phase- but everything just looked horrible.
Then I panicked and drew a pigeon.
I hope you like the pigeon anyway. His name is Henry.
Summary: Lance and Keith wake up in a cell with no recollection of who they are or how they got here. While it certainly wasn’t ideal, it was something they could deal with - that is, until they found out that their capturers were aliens (actual, real life aliens) that accused Keith of being something called a “Galra” and Lance of being his “Excazcán”. When the aliens decide to pull out torture devices and guns to make them talk, they decide that it is about time to go.
And that’s how they end up making their way across an unfamiliar planet, get chased by the alien police, steal a camel (amongst some other stuff) and accidentally become the leaders of a shady underground gang. At the end of the day it is, according to Lance, “the best date ever”.
“Just. Please stop talking,” the guy responded in a pained tone. He had his eyes closed again and lowered himself back onto the ground. Did he want to go to sleep? If they hadn’t been in this situation, he might have joined him, actually; the idea certainly was tempting with the killer-headache he was sporting.
But alas, they were in this situation, and if the guy really wanted to go back to sleep then he was shit out of luck. He had a few urgent questions that he needed answers to. Right fucking now.
“No can do, buddy. I need to know who my cellmate is,” he said grimly.
For a moment the guy didn’t react at all, then he shot up as if someone had thrown freezing water onto him. “We are in a cell?!” he asked with wide eyes.
“Yep. And we are wearing matching outfits, apparently. Were we going to a convention or something? Are we divers? Astronauts? I don’t recognize what characters we are supposed to be.” The guy didn’t react at all, he just stared at nothingness, seemingly a little dazed. Growing impatient, he snapped his fingers. “Hello? Dude? We are in jail. Mind telling me how we got here? Mamá is going to kill me!”
Finally the other guy’s eyes settled onto him. “Mam- no, nevermind that. How did we end up in jail?!”
“I don’t know, that’s what I was just asking you!”
“Well, I don’t know either!”
“Why don’t you know?!”
“I don’t know! I don’t fucking know, okay! Who are you even?!”
“I don’t know!” he yelled back. He had only screamed that because he had needed to scream something - but a wave of dread washed over him when he realized that he really didn’t know. “Fuck,” he whispered, eyes wide. “I don’t know who I am.”