Gavin: Jeremy, do you wanna have your mind blown? Jeremy: Uh, sure, what’s up? Gavin: You used to be a fan, right? Jeremy: Yes. Gavin: Little quiz, who won Wool? Jeremy: Who won Wool? Geoff did, and all you needed was ink. Gavin: You wanna know the truth? Jeremy: What’s the truth there Gav? Gavin: I won Wool. Jeremy: Uh oh. What’s the story there? Gavin: Well, back in the day, I used to help Geoff build a lot, right? Had a little advantage sometimes, ‘cause I built it, and I actually won Wool after like 25 minutes, and it was too short. So I just hung out, with my squid ink, I think I hid it in the chest. And then Geoff was like, “Oh, I’ll tell you when it’s long enough to win.” And then Geoff won. (laughing) Gavin: So if you ever wondered why I was just absurdly angry at the end of that video even though I lost fairly, that was why. Did you know that Jeremy? Jeremy: I did not. Blew my mind. Geoff: It’s entirely possible that that’s accurate. Gavin: And it’s entirely possible that that’s not the only time.
Could you write like the smuttiest thing you’ve ever written please!!
I kinda want to blame this request for this sin but oh well… This is pure filth so please don’t read it if you aren’t comfortable with smut. This has not been proofread so I’m sorry for any mistakes.xxx
Y/N couldn’t believe how stupid she was when she agreed to this. She regretted it the moment she said yes. Now it’s been almost two weeks. Twelve days. 288 hours. Not that she was counting.
It happened during a night in with Harry. They both had a bit too much of red wine, their lips stained and their words getting slurred and silly.
“I bet you couldn’t go a week without sex.”
She looked at him with wide eyes for a moment, her deep red lips parted.
“What? I can totally go without sex. Unlike you, you’re a horny mess after an hour without sex.” she smirked at him.
“S'not true! I bet I can go longer without sex than you.” he stated proudly.
“A bet? You wanna bet, Styles?”
“Yes. We’ll see who can go longer without sex.”
“And what does the winner get?”
“Mind blowing sex.”
Exactly that was what she was craving for right now, mind blowing sex. It wasn’t that she was addicted to sex or needed it to function but when your boyfriend is Harry Styles and looks like a goddamn adonis and you know exactly what he’s able to do with his perfect body it’s hard not to get horny.
He was teasing her as well, every morning his hand would wander a bit too low when they were cuddling and every time he came out of the shower his towel was almost falling off and sometimes it really did fall off, accidentally of course.
She was teasing him as well though, only sleeping in one of his shirts and a pair of lace panties or wearing her favorite pair of jeans which she knew made her ass look extremely good.
It didn’t help her though, he noticed all her teasing and sexy looks but he never made a move on her. He wanted to win this bet.
She wanted to as well but if she was quite honest she didn’t think she was able to go another hour without his naked body pressed to hers.
She knew he was upstairs right now, in their ensuite bathroom, taking a shower. And she knew he would come down in a few minutes, showing off his irresistible body.
She couldn’t take it anymore, her body was going crazy. The constant ache between her legs made her feel dizzy and the fact that she just needed him made her go upstairs.
She entered their bedroom, smelling his shower gel. She wanted him. She needed him. She didn’t care about the bet anymore, it’s been too long.
He came out of the door a minute later, surprised to see her standing in the middle of their bedroom, looking all nervous and messy.
“You okay, love? You look a bit flustered.”
She shook her head, she was almost near tears now. The desperation and frustration grew inside of her, making her body move over to his and pressing her lips to his in a hard kiss.
She felt his shock, before he finally began to kiss her back and wrap his arms around her.
“What’s going on, hm?”
He knew exactly what was going on, she was needy. But he wanted to hear her say it.
“Want you. I-I need you. Harry, please, I can’t-”
“Shh, baby.” he shushed her rambling gently.
“What so you need, hm?”
“What do you need from me?”
“Harry!” she exclaimed frustrated.
“I need to hear you say it, baby. C'mon tell me.”
“I want you to fuck me.” she whimpered.
He smirked at her, satisfied with her answer.
“But then you’ll loose the bet, darling.”
“I don’t care about this fucking bet, Harry! This was such as stupid idea. I just want you to fuck me, take me in every way you like.”
“So desperate? S'not even been two weeks, my love.”
“But it’s been too long.”
“Alright, s'true. Get out of these clothes, baby.”
She did as he said, immediately throwing her shirt to the floor and stepping out of her jeans and panties.
“Good girl. Now lie down on the bed for me.”
She lied down on her back, waiting for him to come to her. She heard his towel hitting the floor, falling beside her clothes. She looked up at him as he started to crawl onto the bed until he was hovering over her naked form but not touching her yet.
“Didn’t think you could go this long without having me fuck you, baby.” he whispered against her neck, his lips brushing over her skin and making goosebumps arise on her whole body.
“Didn’t think I could go so long without fucking you.”
He pressed the first kiss against her sweet spot, right under her ear and her bach arched off the back, pressing her chest against his. She heard him groan quietly when her naked tits touched his chest.
“I missed this so fucking much, baby. Never again, yeah?”
“Never.” she agreed.
His kisses wandered lower, over her collarbones down to her boobs. He nibbled on the skin there, using his tongue to lick over it. When he reached her nipples he sucked on each of them, licking over the pink flesh before he released it and wandered lower.
He took his time with kissing ever inch of her but this wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want him to be gentle and loving. She wanted him to be rough. Really rough.
He knew that tone, the desperation and need in it. He knew he was torturing her right now but he won’t keep going like this. He’s going to give her what she wants.
He came up from where he was kissing around her hips, looking her in the eyes. He leaned down to press a kiss against her lips, covering her mouth in a sweet and passionate way.
“You went twelve days without this, right? Twelve is a nice number.”
His face moved to the side, his nose nuzzling into her hair and his mouth right over her ear.
“How about I make you come twelve times? A orgasm for every single day you didn’t have me.”
She whimpered at his words, wanting that. Wanting him to make her come undone as many times as possible.
“How’s that sound?”
“Yes? You want that?”
“Gonna count them, okay? Gonna count every time you come for me, yeah?”
“Yes, Harry.” she nodded frankly.
He moved down her body again, until he was right between her legs. He grabbed her knees, making them bend and her feet plant on the mattress. He started to kiss down her left thigh, moving closer to where she was pink and aching for him.
She spread her lips apart when he decided it was enough of the teasing, groaning when he saw how wet she was. He glided his middle finger between her lips, gathering some of her juices and rubbing over her clit with them. A breathy moan left her lips at the contact, missing his touch too much.
He finally leaned down then, licking a broad stripe between her pussy lips and humming at the taste of her. He loved this when she filled all his senses, he was only able to see her, smell her, taste her and feel her.
He licked over her clit, lapping at it with the tip of his tongue. He circled the nub before he licked over it from side to side and then moved down to her entrance where he pushed his tongue inside and moved it up and down against her walls. She was moaning and groaning, her hands in Harry’s hair, pulling it and messing it up.
He hooked her thighs over his shoulders so he had better access to her and could bury his face deeper into her. His hands were sprawled out on her hips, holding them down so she couldn’t squirm away.
He licked her deeper now, right between her lips and massaging all the right places. He could feel her getting close already, her thighs beginning to shake, her pussy beginning to clench and the juices kept pouring out of her.
“Harry, I-I’m gonna-” a loud moan interrupted her words when he licked over just the perfect spot.
He sucked on her clit then, trapping it between his lips and massaging it with his tongue at the same time. She came within seconds, screaming out into the bedroom and pulling Harry closer by his hair. He groaned against her when he felt her come, loving the way she moved her pussy against his face and her cum dripped out of her. He knew she came hard, her voice breaking with every moan and her body shaking and trembling with the waves of pleasure that cursed through her whole body and made everything clench.
When her thighs finally fell open and Harry was sure he got every drop of her he sat up, breathing harshly. His lips were swollen and wet with her and his eyes dark and wild.
“You forgot something, my love.” he reminded her.
She wasn’t able to think properly, her brain probably jelly just like her bones. She remembered what he requested of her earlier though.
“Good girl.” he praised her.
He moved up again, kissing her briefly.
She did as he said, sitting up and watching how he lay down on the bed.
“Over my face, darling.”
“What? Harry, no.”
He knew she didn’t like this too much. It felt amazing and she knew that but she hated the thought of sitting on his face. She was always scared of hurting him.
“Baby, c'mon. You know how good it’s gonna feel.”
She looked at him skeptical for a second before she sighed and gave in. She moved so she was straddling his face. He pulled her down immediately, making her sit right on his mouth. She moaned immediately when she felt his tongue on her again, dragging up the full crease of her.
“Yes! Oh fuck.” she moaned out and she knew Harry was smirking against her.
He moved one hand from where he was holding onto her thigh to her mouth, silently telling her to suck his fingers and get them wet. She wrapped her lips around them, getting them dripping wet. When he was happy with her sucking he moved them down to her entrance, immediately pushing two fingers inside of her, causing her to moan at the delicious stretch.
Harry started pumping his fingers inside of her, stroking that one spot she could never reach herself.
Y/N’s hands reached up to hold onto the headboard, moving her hips against Harry’s mouth. He moaned against her when he felt her starting to ride his mouth, letting her move just how she pleased.
He resettles her above him after a moment and then she feels the firm press of his hot tongue against her clit, licking it with just the perfect pressure.
Harry fucks into her with his fingers, twisting and curling them. His lips sucked her clit into his mouth, flicking over it and making sharp pleasure run up her spine.
“Y-Yes, oh shit.”
She was already so close again, almost overwhelmed with all the pleasure he made her feel.
Harry curled his fingers inside of her, pressing hard against her g-spot. She’s clenching down around his fingers, so close to coming. He hummed against her, the vibrations hitting her clit immediately and that was all it took for her to explode again.
Harry’s fingers fucked her through it, prolonging her orgasm and keeping her right there. His lips kept on sucking on her clit, making her come so hard she fell forward against the headboard. Harry held onto her ass cheeks then, moving her against his mouth in the same way he would do it if she was sitting on his cock.
“Harry, oh fuck!”
He kept on moving her against him with his hands on her ass cheeks, licking her so deep she came for the third time with a shaky cry and clenching thighs.
She whines when it gets too much and Harry lets go of her, helping her off him.
“What was that, my love?”
Y/N was shaking, a whimpering mess but Harry knew she wanted to keep going. Needed to keep going.
Harry needed this himself, he missed this over the last two weeks. His dick was standing to his full potential already, his tip a angry shade of red and leaking precum that made it look slick.
“Can you sit on my cock, baby?” he asked her sweetly, innocence lacing his words.
She nodded the tiniest bit, moving so she was straddling his hips. She eyed his dick hungrily, missing that body part the most. She took hold of his shaft, enjoying the fact that Harry groaned out at the feel of her hand around him.
She lined herself up with his tip, sinking down immediately. Loud groans left both of their mouths, their eyes falling shut with the pleasure that came with having each other like this again.
Y/N took him as deep as possible, sitting properly on his dick with her ass hitting his thighs. She began to rock her hips, making him rub against her favorite spot. Harry was looking up at her, not quite sure if he should look at her blissed out face or the place where his dick was sliding into her pussy.
Her hands were on his butterfly tattoo, bracing herself. She bounced on him then, making his dick fill her up with every movement of her hips.
“Yes, fuck yourself on my cock.” Harry groaned out, moving his hands to her thighs.
Y/N was moaning and whimpering above him, slamming down so hard on his cock that her ass created a filthy sound against his thighs.
One of her hands wandered to in between her legs, rubbing at her clit to get herself there faster. Harry felt his eyes rolling back in his head when he saw her touching herself right on his dick, the sight so overwhelmingly sexy that he was sure he could come right then and there.
He felt it when she was close, her walls squeezing his dick and her hips moving even faster. She kept on rubbing herself until she finally came with a hoarse shout, her whole body shaking with the pure pleasure her own fingers and his cock made her experience. She came hard, Harry could feel her slick coating his cock and dripping onto his thighs. Her pussy was squeezing Harry’s dick so hard he saw stars but he wouldn’t come, not until he got everything from her.
“Four.” she moaned out when she finally stopped the movements of her hips, her fingers still stroking over her clit to ride out her orgasm properly.
Harry sat up when she wanted to let him slid out of her, pulling her by her thighs tightly to him so she was still sitting on his cock. A surprised shriek left her at his movements, her eyes wide and her mouth parted.
He slapped her fingers away from her pussy, replacing them with his own and rubbing her bundle of nerves in hard circles. A high pitched moan left her, trying to squirm away from his fingers.
“Harry, fuck I-”
“I want you to come, right on my cock from only my fingers.”
She groaned disbelievingly, she felt his cock so deep inside of her, she just wanted to move and make him fuck up inside of her but he held her down on his dick, not letting her move the slightest bit.
His fingers were rubbing her clit so roughly but just the way she liked it and she came within seconds, still worked up from her last orgasms.
Her pussy clenched down on Harry’s cock, making him groan out but he kept still, only feeling her orgasm on him. He rubbed her through it, the way her pussy squeezed his cock making him moan right with her.
He removed his fingers from her, wrapping his arms around her waist and lying down with her on top of him, his dick still inside of her. He knew she would be sore the next day but it didn’t matter.
He bent his knees, planting his feet on the mattress. Her thighs were spread, her knees on either side of his hips. He gave her one experimental thrust, loving the way she moaned out loud at the pleasure.
He unwrapped his arms from around her, his hands grabbing onto her ass, spreading her cheeks apart before he fucked up into her. He held her down on his cock so she couldn’t move, his dick slamming into her hard and fast. She was screaming against his shoulder, his dick feeling so fucking good inside of her. Harry was moaning into her neck, this position absolutely wrecking him as well.
Y/N came so fast it was incredible, screaming and sobbing loudly against Harry, her nails leaving scratches on his arm. He slowed down a bit when she kept on crying out against his shoulder, now rolling his hips into her rather than thrusting with full force.
“S-Six.” she stammered out when she was able to think again.
“Such a good girl, baby. You still good?”
He pounded her pussy again, his thighs slapping against her ass hard. He slapped down on her ass with both hands at that was all she needed before she came again. She wasn’t able to count her seventh orgasm because it became her eighth right afterwards, growing into one mind blowing orgasm that made her shout out.
“Yes, baby.” Harry breathed out when her pussy got incredibly tight again.
He made her sit up then, letting him slip out of her.
“Hands and knees, love.”
It took her a bit longer than usual to position herself due to the shaking of her limbs but she managed to within a few moments.
He lined himself up behind her, sliding into her immediately. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her back to his chest. He spread her thighs a bit wider so he had more access before he began to fuck her again, her ass hitting his thighs loudly with every move.
She came again within seconds, her pussy now so sensitive that it only needed a few thrusts to explode. Harry moved one hand to her clit before she could finish completely, intensifying her orgasm with his hard circles against her nerves and making her groan out.
He fucked her right through it, not letting up on his pace and his rubbing.
Another orgasm rocked through her body, making her fall forwards. Harry let her, leaning over her and still rubbing her clit with his fingers.
He removed his hand from her, pressing her down on the bed completely and slamming into her so hard the whole bed moved and the headboard kept on hitting the wall with loud thuds.
He didn’t even feel her next orgasm, her pussy grew so tight around him that he wasn’t able to feel her clenching anymore. But she did come, he could hear it, her loud moans and shouts.
“Eleven.” she whimpered out.
She was completely fucked out, he knew she was but she had one more inside of her. Only one more.
Harry was right there, at the edge of his orgasm and he knew he only needed a few more seconds before he would come inside of her. Y/N was still lying on her stomach, her hands gripping onto the sheets.
“You gonna come with me, baby?”
She only moaned at that was all he needed before he began to pound away, paying attention to that one spot inside of her that would make her explode within seconds.
And she did come within a few short moments, coming harder than ever around him. Her juices came pouring out of her, drenching the sheets underneath them. Her scream was so loud it teared right through Harry, making him come deep inside of her and coating her walls with his hot release. He stilled inside of her, pushing as deep as he could go, his cock still releasing rope after rope of sticky white cum.
He was scared that she passed out for a moment but her moans and whimpers reassured him that she was still conscious. He pulled out of her finally, hearing her whimper at the loss. He looked down and saw her release mixed with his cum pouring out of her, onto the sheets.
He lied down beside her, his breathing harsh and ragged.
“You okay, my love?” he asked her softly, his hand stroking over her back.
She looked at him with half lidded eyes, her lips parted.
“How the fuck did you make me come twelve times?”
Her voice was wrecked, raspy from all the shouting she’d done.
Harry laughed out at her words, his shoulders shrugging.
“I’ve got no idea. But it was hot as fuck.”
She turned around finally, laying her head on his chest with a sigh.
“We are never ever going without sex again. Never.” she stated.
“Never.” he agreed.
“We need to change the sheets.” she whispered after a few moments, a bit of embarrassment audible in her voice.
“That we have to do, love. Never thought you could come like this. My dick really has to be amazing.”
She hit his chest playfully, scolding him with her eyes.
“Shut up, you wanker.”
“Oi! I’m very glad that I don’t have to wank anymore, thank you very much.”
“Oh god, Harry.”
hello friends! to celebrate the 815 followers that this little blog now has (whaaaa?!! thank you all so much!), i’ve decided to put together a list of some of my favorite whump tropes and situations. you know. for reference. ;) what are some of your favorite whump-y moments? i’d definitely love to know!
now… let the fun begin!
hiding potentially fatal injuries (if untreated) to avoid distracting their friends from the task at hand
pale skin, dark shadows under their eyes, lines of pain around their mouth, shaking hands, hunched shoulders, raspy breathing, blood staining the fabric of their (dark) clothes, sweat beading on their forehead
stumbling and staggering along (especially when it’s the leader of the group, so the entire team of friends can see and exchange worried glances behind their back)
hands on their elbows to steady them when they threaten to topple over
the almost asked “are you okay” or “do you need help”
worried glances, obviously conflicted about whether to confront them about the obvious signs of injury or to hover nearby, awaiting the inevitable
when they finally collapse – whether it’s planned, slumping casually to the ground to “rest”, legs uncoordinated and trembling, their back against a tree, eyes slipping shut in exhaustion and pain and finding themselves unable to get back up, collapsing with a cry of pain when it’s attempted – or if it’s sudden and unexpected, the staggering getting worse as they walk, hands reaching for the wall, an obliging tree, or a friendly shoulder, the murmur of a name on their lips right before their eyes roll back in their head, legs folding underneath them
worried friends desperately running instantly to their side, gripping their shoulders, smacking their (too pale) face or
the "hovering friend” being just close enough to catch them as they crumple, hands on their arms, hands supporting their head as they’re lowered gently to the ground
“wake up! hey, don’t do this to me. stay with me, you hear me?”
“stay with me!” and “don’t do this to me!” in general (i just realized i kind of wrote a story there… heh. give me a show (i’m familiar with) to write it for, and i’ll do it. ;))
“i’m okay, don’t worry about me. we need to focus on —-” (especially if it’s a person that needs rescued, helped, found, etc)
hands holding them down, hands smoothing back hair, whispered nothings
“hey, hey, it’s okay, stop trying to move, alright? we have to take care of this before you —”
dabbing sweat off a fevered brow, reassuring voices in the midst of delirium
trembling (bloodstained) hands scrabbling for the fingers of a friend, the grip turning their knuckles white when it’s finally in their grasp
only one person (the best friend, preferably, or the one they were injured protecting, or the one who was with them through the ordeal) being able to calm them in the throes of fever (or drug-induced nightmare) in the aftermath
unexplained weakness and exhaustion, especially due to some supernatural force, side effects or sacrifice (Stiles, Teen Wolf 3b was my whump heaven)
waking up in pain with no accessible medical help or morphine, their eyes fluttering open, gaze flickering weakly, barely able to turn their heads to the worried faces of their friends as they hover nearby
“can you hear me? hey, can you hear me?” as their eyes flutter closed
muffled screams, hands over mouths, whispered “i’m sorry”s as a friend tries to clean / bind / analyze a wound while preventing them from alerting the enemy / predator to their location
shaking, sweating, in so much pain they can hardly speak
pain when they breathe, every breath like molten lava in their chest
winces, shuddering, hitching breaths, gasping for air
“i can’t… breat–i can’t breathe”
fast, panting gasps in the aftermath of a painful ordeal
fingers going limp, releasing the hand of a friend or slipping off an object they had seized in the midst of their agony
when their focus blurs, breathing fast and shallow, head slumping to the side as they lose consciousness (from pain, blood loss, etc)
strangled cries from between gritted teeth, hitched breaths when the injury is inspected, blood soaked clothing pulled away from the crusted wound
seizures, bodies arching off hospital beds, frantic fingers trying to hold them down as the bed rails shake with the force of the fit
an oxygen mask being pressed forcefully over their face, the command to “leave it be, you need all the help you can get”
the frantic search for a friend, the desperate, determined “they’re alive, i know it, they have to be”
the moment when the lost is found, the choked whisper of their name as they rush to their side, hands lifting their head off the floor, the harried search for injuries
the “oh my god. oh my god. hey, we need a medic in here!” shout, desperate, tinged with fear, then the barely disguised tremor in their voice as they turn back to their friend, whispering, commanding, “you’re gonna be okay, you hear me? you’re gonna be fine.”
found unconscious (or barely conscious) on the floor and someone sits behind them, physically dragging their head and shoulders into their lap, gentle fingers smoothing the rumpled hair and pale face
arms wrapped around their chest, slow, shuffling movements, the winces of pain as they climb into a vehicle, head pressed against the window, the worried glance of the driver at the hitching breaths as the car hits bumps in the road
I’m positive that there are more, but this is all I can think of right now; more to come, I’m sure! ;)
“We can show someone googling themselves on the internet, right?” “Well, safe search.”
“First question is for Matt.” “Oh, god. Hi.”
Matt had Raishan’s next few rounds planned before Keyleth cast the spell.
If VM hadn’t gotten to Raishan when they did, Matt considered having her leave and just be out in the world, maybe reappearing in the next campaign.
Matt on Grog’s version of beat poetry: “You just… literally beat a poet.”
Raishan was Matt’s favorite Conclave member to portray because of all the non-combat interactions
Travis grills Liam on the Superbowl after learning he spent it at a vegan Mexican restaurant drinking a spicy margarita. Liam eventually manages to pull out the word “Patriots”.
“I fucked it up, god damn you, Andrew from Crit Role Stats!”
Vax has found his family, and it’s not Syldor. He’s not looking to get closer to his dad; to him, it’s a done deal and he’s moved on.
Travis: “Hahaha, I find myself hilarious.”
Sam shows up half an hour late. “Sorry I’m late… but it’s kind of my thing.”
Liam calls out Sam for making jokes about wanting one of their characters to die… and then constantly moping in the text thread in the week after Scanlan died
Sam’s made it through the first hour of 84 so far. “I mean, I watched the part where they were saving my life and crying about me.” He did actually get choked up over Grog’s song while he was watching it at work.
Liam points out that Sam is “the worst kind of foodie” and once critiqued a picture of the pancakes Liam made for his kids.
Sam: “I think it would be fun for one of us to die. I just don’t want it to be me!”
They show an extended scene from the episode (Grog’s offering) and when they cut back Travis is chin-handsing and batting his eyelashes while everyone else pretends to be asleep
Travis gave a lot of thought to how Scanlan’s permadeath would’ve affected Grog. “Pike and Scanlan would be the two things that would just crumble him.” He spent the whole week thinking about Grog’s contribution to the ritual and practiced what he’d say whenever he had quiet moments.
If it had failed, Grog might’ve tried the deck.
Someone asks if Vax would’ve jumped in on the ritual if Kaylie hadn’t: Liam thinks Vex is closer to Scanlan than Vax is, so if Kaylie hadn’t stepped in, much as he cares about him, Vax still likely wouldn’t have stepped in because he didn’t think Scanlan would’ve answered his call.
Sam had no complicated list of demands to get Scanlan back, just how he thought it could or should go
Travis was prepared for the possibility of losing the knuckles and the belt. “He was my friend before that.”
“If the beard is unattuned–” “That is an amazing sentence.”
Scanlan will probably rethink his approach to combat, but Sam isn’t quite sure how that’s going to shake out yet
Talks Machina: It’s About Scientology
Matt re: the ashes: “Some things are just journeys in learning to trust occasionally…”
Matt suggests a post-mortem Talks Machina episode on the entire Conclave arc
Critical Role is going to WonderCon this year
Grog considers himself a talented magician and the cleverest tactician (Liam: “Sometimes that’s true.”)
If the group had gone through Scanlan’s stuff: “It would’ve mostly been weird smut.”
Everyone points out that they don’t know enough in-character to feel they should do more than just keep an eye on Scanlan for now
Travis on Groon v2: “I’M FUCKING STOKED! …I’m really excited.”
Sam doesn’t know how Scanlan was left at the end of the episode, and everyone tells him to not watch the rest of the episode so he can just find out live (”…something about pudding? I saw some strange fanart that I don’t know how to…” “Don’t worry about it.”)
After Dark: the site was down again (verrrrrry glad I’m on a free trial here, because that’s two weeks in a row), but @loquaciousquark recorded all but the first few minutes of it live and sent me the video file right after it was done, because she is magical that way.
The armor Matt wears in the opening is the armor he wore in Mythica
Sam wants to recreate Hot Pepper Gaming with Liam on their podcast. Travis wants to be the live studio audience.
Everyone discusses their various and sundry bizarre live-action turns. Expect to see people digging up clips on all social media in the next few weeks.
Sam jokes about a political arc following the Chroma Conclave. “Grog could be Speaker of the House.” Brian: “Grog has a higher intelligence than the real Speaker of the House.”
Liam’s son ran a little D&D game for him that ended with the reveal that he was making it all up as he went, which Liam figures is pretty much how D&D is supposed to go.
Grog was definitely taken aback by Vax’s sincerity—when playing Grog, Travis is constantly trying to find the joke in things, and Vax’s words were so genuine that Travis got emotional and kind of shut down and had nothing to reply with, which he figures is exactly how Grog would respond.
Kima and Allura probably would’ve survived, just because Allura had eight hours of water-breathing at her disposal, but it would’ve taken a long time before they managed to get back home (a Gilligan’s Island-type setup).
Brian goes around shaking everyone’s hands, but Travis grabs him and yanks him down with him, and then the crew starts firing nerf darts at them to end the episode.
listen i wanna see hunk and shay in a long distance relationship pls im beggin
What if hunk makes a communicator for her so she can talk to him whenever she wants and vice versa?
Shay sends mostly texts because he knows Hunk can be in a battle somewhere or on a mission so she knows that Hunk won’t respond right away and he can read those texts when he’s out of danger
Her texts are all lowercase with several exclamation points because she’s incredibly happy and bright! She also tries to use emojis but when she DOES look through them most of them are earth stuff and she asks about them
Shay: hunk, do you know what this is ???
Hunk: Those are pancakes, a delicacy on Earth!
Shay: oh !!! pancakes !!! they sound delicious !!!
Hunk: They absolutely are!
Shay: you can cook, right ??? do you wanna make me some pancakes next time you are visiting ???
Hunk: You can’t see these tears but I am crying and I love you
Hunk prefers video calling! Shay prefers that too but she knows that she doesn’t know exactly when to call him because of obvious reasons
They talk about stuff that’s happened in their lives! Fighting, ceremonies, etc.
Hunk loves talking about maths and engineering and earth and food, and Shay loves learning about new things! Since her people have been freed from the Galra, she’s been learning about the Balmeran culture and history, and she LOVES to talk about her going on adventures and exploring the surface of the Balmera
She high-key loves it when Hunk rambles on and on about maths because she loves learning and she loves Hunk and Hunk explains things so simply and passionately and she thinks it’s so CUTE
They can talk for literally hours on end
Shiro: *knocking on the door politely* Hunk, you’ve been talking to Shay for like 3 quintants. Please go to sleep.
Hunk: Sorry! Shay was just telling me about the Balmeran history and-
Shiro, who LOVES history: Wait what? why didn’t you tell me I love history!
*insert montage of Shiro learning about the Balmera, to the tune of the Mii Channel music*
When they DO meet up, they’re just together all the time like omg they missed each other so much
They take like, 3209489024 pictures, mostly selfies and stuff of their lil adventures on the Balmera, or just chillin in the Castle of Lions
Shay loves snapchat filters
In fact, they both love trying to get filters on the other’s face without them realising it
Their stories essentially become competitions for how many candids they can take of the other with filters on their faces
Shay is incredibly good at sneaking up and taking those photos tbh. She usually wins
I have never done anything gayer than my current state: at GSA, holding my girlfriend’s hand, and talking about Cosima and Delphine, while scrolling through @queergirlwriting’s blog and incessantly liking sanvers gifs.
I’ve seen a lot of posts calling out Cullen as being unqualified to command the Inquisition’s forces. These posts usually suggest that Cassandra should have recruited someone else.
And, look, if people don’t like Cullen and wish that someone else had appeared in their place because of that, then… fine? Okay. Whatever. I’m not here to tell people what fictional characters to enjoy.
What I am here to do is to is argue against the idea that he was included as fanservice in spite of having an insufficient resume.
Cullen served for seven years under Knight-Commander Meredith Stannard. And, whatever you think of Meredith, there was a reason why she was the most powerful Templar in eastern Thedas. She was a prodigy who overthrew a corrupt dictator while she was still in her twenties. She kept hundreds of elite warriors in line even as she slipped into madness. She took over a city-state. She was probably one hell of a mentor.
Considering the blood magic problem in Kirkwall, Cullen’s service there would have involved a lot more open combat than most prison-guard Templars are likely to see. He would have been leading squads to take down demons and apostates on a regular basis.
Is that the same as leading an army? No. But don’t forget that Justinia had no idea that Corypheus existed when she asked Leliana and Cassandra to form the Inquisition. She thought she was putting together a force to contain the worst excesses of the Mage-Templar war. Someone with experience training recruits and putting together squads to contain local threads? Is exactly who they would have been looking for.
Cullen was also in charge of the Kirkwall Templars for at least three years – more, probably, since by the end of DA2 he’s taken over operations to the extent that the troops side with him over Meredith. He was responsible for training, provisioning, and keeping good relations with the local guard. All things that he also needs to do as Commander of the Inquisition, which is an NGO that needs to maintain partnerships with national militaries.
Recruiting Cullen is also important symbolically – something that Justinia would have been very aware of. It shows current Templars that there’s a place for them if they choose to walk away from the war. At the end of Inquisition, the remains of the organization decide whether or not to stay on lyrium entirely based on Cullen’s example. His finding another, better way to serve is kind of a huge deal for them.
And who else where they going to ask? The thing with experienced military commanders is that they usually gain that experience working in national militaries. They already have jobs. They are not looking to join up with a bunch of religious fanatics camping in the mountains.
Bringing Cullen into the Inquisition was probably the best option available to Cassandra.
Obviously the writers could have made up, oh, an invincible Rivaini seer princess general who’s won ten dozen military engagements in a war that no one has ever heard of before, and who for some reason has no other personal commitments. But barring that, Cullen was a damn good candidate.
so, a random survey: would you guys ever be interested in reading a multi-chap, plot-heavy t100 heist au with our fave delinquents being professional criminals hired to perform one impossible heist, along with slowburn, co-leaders bellarke? cos bOY do I have news for you!!